E142: Unmasking Happiness: Navigating Self-Doubt, Sobriety, and the Journey Within

really nice. And then we went to Harry's for a burger and some French fries and a vanilla milkshake. And my end. Lif is good.

Harry's in Colchester. So if you don't live in Connecticut, there are these little roadside places that are legendary within Connecticut. Harry's is one of those places. I like Harry's, and I'm the only one in the family who likes it. We took my father in law there one time and he said, I find that the oil a day, if it's in. A. Town on the shore, it's much cleaner. I have clean. Oh, he would know.

various reasons. Well, I can't hike either because I'm fairly new to hiking and I don't trust myself out there, you know? and I just decided that I can't have that excuse anymore. I want to do more of it. Yup. And today and today was the first step. And it wasn't a hard thing to do. It was an easy trail to follow. But it was the first step of me going out to somewhere where I've never been. And. And it just was. It was a beautiful day. I just I can't

tell you. I just gave it a thumbs up review, five star review on all trails and just a really, really nice day.

it's like it's like driving. I like being in the passenger's seat when somebody is driving to a place like you sort of know how to get there, but you don't really pay attention because you're not driving the streets. You know? But anyway, Mm hmm. yeah, I want to change that because John's knee is acting up. We were supposed to do another stint. Yeah, we're

anyway, beautiful day off. Off topic here, but one of the one of the one of the beautiful things about sobriety and being old when I don't have to be in a job is to be able to say, hey, I'm going to go out and hike in and be gone for four or 5 hours and be able to hike, you know, beautiful. Mm hmm.

want 12 or 13 miles. I want 2500 feet. I want to be I want to wake up the next day knowing that I hiked. You know, that's my alcoholic tendencies, right? Come into play like. And and I get that. And that's the nice thing about hiking with other

to make me happier? I'm making I'm making a good living, doing what I'm doing, and I'm incredibly competent doing what I'm doing. That doesn't mean that I'm going to throw ambition on the trash bin. What it means is why can't I be happy with the role I have now? And if something better comes along, then that's great

if if my boys aren't with me. Of course you can go. Hmm. Mm hmm. Again? Mm hmm. Mm I look at this the way I look at the gym with people as well. That you might think, Well, why am I going to go to the gym if I can't put 45 minutes on the treadmill? You can go for 15 minutes if that's all you have, because 15 minutes is better than zero. If you want to go somewhere where it's a moderate hike, but you just feel like you have to get out that's doing something kind of. It's a lot difficult.

It's a hike to get to the trail. Right. It's all or nothing thinking and. Yeah, I heard a podcast recently where the guest was talking about happiness and I can't remember the context of it, but what hit me was thinking about, I'll be happy when I have this. I'll be happy when I have that. And that's real alcoholic thinking. And I suffer from this. I have been working very hard to get

promoted. I'm a high achiever in my role, and I see people that I came up into leadership with who are a level or two or four ahead of me. And I think about what I will be happy when I reach that level. And it really hit me that that is lousy thinking. What is it about getting there that's going to make me happier? I'm making I'm making a good living, doing what I'm doing, and I'm incredibly competent doing what I'm doing. That doesn't mean that I'm going to throw ambition

on the trash bin. What it means is why can't I be happy with the role I have now? And if something better comes along, then that's great too. But it's not as though I'm a loser until I get to that level. kind of. It's a lot difficult. It's a hike to get to the trail. Right. It's all or nothing thinking Yeah, I heard a podcast recently where the guest was talking about happiness and I can't remember the context of it, but what hit me was thinking about, I'll be happy when I have this. I'll be

happy when I have that. And that's real alcoholic thinking. And I suffer from this. I have been working very hard to get promoted. I'm a high achiever in my role, and I see people that I came up into leadership with who are a level or two or four ahead of me. And I think about what I will be happy when I reach that level. And it really hit me that that is lousy thinking. What is it about getting there that's

going to make me happier? I'm making I'm making a good living, doing what I'm doing, and I'm incredibly competent doing what I'm doing. That doesn't mean that I'm going to throw ambition on the trash bin. What it means is why can't I be happy with the role I have now? And if something better comes along, then that's great too. But it's not as though I'm a loser until

I get to that level. Yeah, I heard a podcast recently where the guest was talking about happiness and I can't remember the context of it, but what hit me was thinking about, I'll be happy when I have this. I'll be happy when I have that. And that's real alcoholic thinking. And I suffer from this. I have been working very hard to get promoted. I'm a high achiever in my role, and I see people that I came up into leadership with who are a level or two or four ahead

of me. And I think about what I will be happy when I reach that level. And it really hit me that that is lousy thinking. What is it about getting there that's going to make me happier? I'm making I'm making a good living, doing what I'm doing, and I'm incredibly competent doing what I'm doing. That doesn't mean that I'm going to throw ambition on the trash bin. What it means is why can't I be happy with the role I have now? And if something better comes along,

then that's great too. But it's not as though I'm a loser until I get to that level. Yeah, I heard a podcast recently where the guest was talking about happiness and I can't remember the context of it, but what hit me was thinking about, I'll be happy when I have this. I'll be happy when I have that. And that's real alcoholic thinking. And I suffer from this. I have been working very hard to get

promoted. I'm a high achiever in my role, and I see people that I came up into leadership with who are a level or two or four ahead of me. And I think about what I will be happy when I reach that level. And it really hit me that that is lousy thinking. What is it about getting there that's going to make me happier? I'm making I'm making a good living, doing what I'm doing, and I'm incredibly competent doing what I'm doing. That doesn't mean that I'm going to throw ambition

on the trash bin. What it means is why can't I be happy with the role I have now? And if something better comes along, then that's great too. But it's not as though I'm a loser until I get to that level. I heard a podcast recently where the guest was talking about happiness and I can't remember the context of it, but what hit me was thinking about, I'll be happy when I have this. I'll be happy when I have that. And that's real alcoholic thinking. And I suffer from this.

I have been working very hard to get promoted. I'm a high achiever in my role, and I see people that I came up into leadership with who are a level or two or four ahead of me. And I think about what I will be happy when I reach that level. And it really hit me that that is lousy thinking. What is it about getting there that's going to make me happier? I'm making I'm making a good living, doing what I'm doing, and I'm incredibly competent doing what

I'm doing. That doesn't mean that I'm going to throw ambition on the trash bin. What it means is why can't I be happy with the role I have now? And if something better comes along, then that's great too. But it's not as though I'm a loser until I get to that level.

in at work. Like you said, your high achiever, you're well looked at everybody likes you, whatever it is. But you only have a certain amount of that. Right. There's other people involved with that. And and what I look at that is I used to place my happiness in other people's hands, Right? I used to do

five years sober. And my, you know, wh is it my life again? But that's why I used to say to myself, I'm not drinking anymore. Why is it my life getting better? And I settle down and this is this is crazy. You know, I've told my daughter and my son listening, Listen to this podcast at your own risk, because I'm very Yeah. honest about it. This is you know, I didn't have a lot of these conversations with them. And not that I'm afraid of.

They're 30 and 33 I was unhappy and I just started looking for happiness somewhere else instead of trying to figure out why I was unhappy. And I decided that the best thing for me to do would be to divorce my wife so that I could go out and find happiness elsewhere. It was, you know, and I say this and I've told and I told my current, I'm remarried. I've told my current wife this. It has nothing to do with her or anything like it was the most horrible, selfish decision I've ever made. Plus it

was just wrong. I mean, now today I see, like, what was I? And like, yeah, that happiness that I was chasing has nothing to do with other people today. I understand that. And I don't have to worry about that as much. We we all struggle with it some, but I don't worry about it as much

to go out and hike. Today. I'm grateful as much as I struggle. You know, I talk about all time. I'm grateful for my health. I'm grateful for, you know, my my wife, like all of the things that the grateful for the house I live in, all those things. Right. Whatever it might be, just list those things. And I think that if you do that, if you truly do that, That's. then you'll see that there's a lot of things to be happy and grateful about. Your life doesn't mean life's easy,

man, right? I mean, just like getting sober. It's not easy. It's not a picnic, right? It's not life's not easy life. Well, you know. You know, there's really no entitlements in life. There really aren't. I mean, there's

doing wrong? And man, as I talk that through, what a terrible way to say that of going to the negative of what am I doing wrong and going past all the things I'm doing well. That's. I struggle with that. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I think a lot about this in terms of a talk that I can compare myself to other people's sobriety. Why don't I have that sense of well-being that I might see somebody in the program who I admire? Why do they have X amount responses? I have none.

Why are they talking about a higher power and having this immense connection? And I struggle with that. Why do they seem to have everything together? And yeah, I'm wringing my fingers about that. What am I doing wrong? And man, as I talk that through, what a terrible way to say that of going to the negative of what am I doing wrong and going past all the things I'm doing well. That's. I struggle with that. Oh, yeah?

Yeah. I think a lot about this in terms of a talk that I can compare myself to other people's sobriety. Why don't I have that sense of well-being that I might see somebody in the program who I admire? Why do they have X amount responses? I have none. Why are they talking about a higher power and having this immense connection? And I struggle with that. Why do they seem to have everything together? And yeah, I'm wringing my fingers about that. What am I

doing wrong? And man, as I talk that through, what a terrible way to say that of going to the negative of what am I doing wrong and going past all the things I'm doing well. That's. I struggle with that. Yeah. I think a lot about this in terms of a talk that I can compare myself to other people's sobriety. Why don't I have that sense of well-being that I might see somebody in the program who I admire? Why do they have X amount responses? I have none.

Why are they talking about a higher power and having this immense connection? And I struggle with that. Why do they seem to have everything together? And yeah, I'm wringing my fingers about that. What am I doing wrong? And man, as I talk that through, what a terrible way to say that of going to the negative of what am I doing wrong and going past all the things I'm doing well. That's. I struggle with that. I think a lot about this in terms of a talk that I can compare myself to other people's

sobriety. Why don't I have that sense of well-being that I might see somebody in the program who I admire? Why do they have X amount responses? I have none. Why are they talking about a higher power and having this immense connection? And I struggle with that. Why do they seem to have everything together? And yeah, I'm wringing my fingers about that. What am I

doing wrong? And man, as I talk that through, what a terrible way to say that of going to the negative of what am I doing wrong and going past all the things I'm doing well. That's. I struggle with that. I think a lot about this in terms of a talk that I can compare myself to other people's sobriety. Why don't I have that sense of well-being that I might see somebody in the program who I admire? Why do they have X amount responses? I have none.

Why are they talking about a higher power and having this immense connection? And I struggle with that. Why do they seem to have everything together? And yeah, I'm wringing my fingers about that. What am I doing wrong? And man, as I talk that through, what a terrible way to say that of going to the negative of what am I doing wrong and going past all the things I'm doing well. That's. I struggle with that. That's. I struggle with that. That's. I struggle with that.

six months later I picked up a drink, you know, and it has nothing to do with her. But it was I was ready to, but it was a little bit of a push and I was pissed off and I was like, Why is my sister a 45 with two young children? You know, I have to, you know, have to die of this horrible disease. the youngest of the family. Everything, like everything was fucked. Everything was fucked up about it, right? and I asked why, and I don't need to ask that. Like, why not? Why not? It happens to

every family. It happens all over the place, you know? So I don't think I don't ask those whys anymore. I don't think that somehow I'm being persecuted. You know, I don't think people are out to get me right. That's the other thing you hear like, no, he's out to get Steve. Nobody's out to get Matt. to make my life harder. so, you know, it's a it, it's something I don't, you know, I don't I've learned after doing the steps and working with a sponsor and going to meetings and talking.

Yeah. One of the things we do, Matt, we sit in rooms with people who have a hell of a lot less than we have right?

Like, there's

a very restrictive income. And I'm sure Dave doesn't want to leave Connecticut because he's been you know, he's been living here his whole life. This is where all his friends are. And I'm sure he knows that he can go somewhere else and and make a new friendship and community. But Mm he's hmm. not a young man. so I'm sure he doesn't want to. But Dave is willing to make that choice and make that change because he knows that it'll probably be easier from him, you know, and that he'll probably

have an easier time of it. So I know he was planning on doing it. I know he got delayed some, you know, part of me was happy it got delayed because I like Dave, Rig. Me too. I'm happy to have him around. I'm happy to see him at meetings. So I'm like, Good. You got delayed for a year. Good. I get to hang out with you for another

Oh, yeah. I'm happy that I'm around. He he it's very easy to compare against somebody like him because when you see he is one of these people that if you see at a meeting, you know, this is going to be a good meeting, that he's going to bring good sobriety. And if he opens his mouth, there's probably nothing you're going to be able to top with what he says and you're going to learn something and he's going to put you at ease. There are people like that. So there are times that I compare.

And it's hard because I know some people who were sober when I got sober and they didn't stay sober, and they have been bouncing in and out, in and out, in and out. I saw one of those people the other day. He's wearing shorts. So I say he had an ankle bracelet. He had some jewelry on. That's that's tough. That's not my situation. Mm hmm. that's Dave. B is one of the people I think of when I think of that stuff, because he no longer is married. He lives by himself. He's retired. He probably has

less money. He's always looking for a boarder there, and he always has it together. He walks into a meeting, he's smiling, he's laughing. I'm not saying Dave's life is perfect. I'm saying he seems content with what he has, the things that he has in life feel like they're enough. And that includes his level of sobriety. Mm hmm. Oh, yeah. I'm happy that I'm around.

He he it's very easy to compare against somebody like him because when you see he is one of these people that if you see at a meeting, you know, this is going to be a good meeting, that he's going to bring good sobriety. And if he opens his mouth, there's probably nothing you're going to be able to top with what he says and you're going to learn something and he's going to put you at ease. There are people like that. So there are times that I compare.

And it's hard because I know some people who were sober when I got sober and they didn't stay sober, and they have been bouncing in and out, in and out, in and out. I saw one of those people the other day. He's wearing shorts. So I say he had an ankle bracelet. He had some jewelry on. That's that's tough. That's not my situation. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Oh, yeah. I'm happy that I'm around.

He he it's very easy to compare against somebody like him because when you see he is one of these people that if you see at a meeting, you know, this is going to be a good meeting, that he's going to bring good sobriety. And if he opens his mouth, there's probably nothing you're going to be able to top with what he says and you're going to learn something and he's going to put you at ease. There are people like that. So there are times that I compare.

And it's hard because I know some people who were sober when I got sober and they didn't stay sober, and they have been bouncing in and out, in and out, in and out. I saw one of those people the other day. He's wearing shorts. So I say he had an ankle bracelet. He had some jewelry on. That's that's tough. That's not my situation. Mm hmm.

He he it's very easy to compare against somebody like him because when you see he is one of these people that if you see at a meeting, you know, this is going to be a good meeting, that he's going to bring good sobriety. And if he opens his mouth, there's probably nothing you're going to be able to top with what he says and you're going to learn something and he's going to put you at ease. There are people like that. So there are times that I compare.

And it's hard because I know some people who were sober when I got sober and they didn't stay sober, and they have been bouncing in and out, in and out, in and out. I saw one of those people the other day. He's wearing shorts. So I say he had an ankle bracelet. He had some jewelry on. That's that's tough. That's not my situation. Mm hmm.

long time. It took me till and I told this story when I was living in this house and somebody came to me and said, Hey, do you ever feel like you don't belong in this house? And that's the first time I ever heard anybody say those words, that that really went to the heart It's. of how I felt, like I felt like a fraud. And this was a woman who lived in a bigger and better house than than me. And her husband was a Ph.D. and taught, taught at a seminary. And like, they had a really,

really nice house. And I can remember, like, almost jumping out of my chair saying, Yes, yes, I don't feel like I belong here. Like for my whole life I compared the negative. I always thought, okay, well, somehow I don't belong here like some you know, something's wrong. And then but today I've gotten to the point, Matt, where I just first of all, I realized that life is too short, man. I really it's one of the things I have.

It's. And it's, you know, I feel like we've lost a lot of people, a lot of friends lately. At least I have. and it's something that it's It's. really made me think. It's really made me think that you know, life is very short no matter what age you live to. And it's really important about making sure that you appreciate the things in your life and, and today I work really, really hard to do that. It's not easy. Life is not easy. I just I care about the little stuff less. I care

about the little stuff less. And I look for I look for the bigger things. I look for the, you know, the walk in the woods that I, you know, seven miles. I was out there, I hiked for 3 hours. Right. Not a lot of people, which is the way I like it. And I like to be completely alone. But not a lot of people, but people to talk to few people here and there and really, really a really good time. And that's what I live for today.

stuff. When I get into my head around, I don't have those issues of people in the family who are in dire health. And

And I'm the same way. Like I, I don't have to be my lowest weight where I was, you know, four years ago or whatever. That was where like I was high school weight, you know, I was like that that way. Like, I don't need to be there. That's too hard of a weight for me probably to keep realistically, but I do want to be at a weight where I could do hiking. All right. Well, I could hike like I get it today. I know what I want. I know what

I want today. I want to be able to be in shape to go hike up in New Hampshire and go do some of those big hikes. Agai, not just getting out of bed, doing them without trying, but being able to be in a place where I could do a little bit of work, get in shape, and then go tackle some of those really, really big hikes where I have to be strong, I have to be able to do it has nothing to do with how I look. It does have a lot to do with how I feel, right? How I feel,

how I feel my own skin. I will tell you this like I've watched it my whole life. I've always been this chubby kid myself growing up and, you know, weig my whole life. My whole life. I fought it. And I would look at people who were much heavier and fatter than me, if you will. and they're very you could just see they're really comfortable in their own skin. And I was I always felt like like especially I would look at people like, man, that shirt looks

only one piece of my life. And there's so many other pieces of my life that are just absolutely, you know, knock out of the park. Home runs. Yeah,

First thing I said to her is, why the hell didn't you reach out? Don't you realize there are people who would be willing to support you and just listen? And she said, Well, I don't do that, okay? And I know of a peer who woke up and her husband was dead next to her. He had had a heart attack just next to her. And I've been really thinking about some of that stuff. When I get into my head around, I don't have those issues of people in the family who are in dire

health. And it also reminds me, go get that cardio, go to the gym, do some of the stuff less for your vanity and do it for the interior health. Because I look around at the people at the gym and I see people older than me who have rippling muscles, and I'm like, Well, I don't have rippling muscles. And it bothers me when I see things on Instagram with the before and after pictures that these people get sober and they get ripped

and super thin. And I don't know if I'm any thinner or fatter than I was, but I don't feel like there's been that difference there. And so I think, what did I do wrong? Well, in the end, these problems are about me. If I really think about it, when I think about the weight stuff, if I comparing myself to other people, this is also going back to I'll be happy when I feel less than unless I'm thin and ripped. I'm a loser. I'm not worth it if I'm at the weight I'm at now, if I'm in the

physical conditioning. But when I get to that point, then I have reached that nirvana where everybody will accept me. The same thing with the jobs as I look at other people in higher positions because I haven't moved up as fast. There must be something wrong with me, and the worst thing that I ever did is I talked to a recruiter who was like, Well, you've been in that position for ten years. People are going to look at that and be less willing to hire you. And that sent me freakin spiraling.

Well, no, the company he works for is a terrible company. I won't impugn them, but they're terrible. Well, in the end, these problems are about me. If I really think about it, when I think about the weight stuff, if I comparing myself to other people, this is also going back to I'll be happy when I feel less than unless I'm thin and ripped. I'm a loser. I'm not worth it if I'm at the weight I'm at now, if I'm in the

physical conditioning. But when I get to that point, then I have reached that nirvana where everybody will accept me. The same thing with the jobs as I look at other people in higher positions because I haven't moved up as fast. There must be something wrong with me, and the worst thing that I ever did is I talked to a recruiter who was like, Well, you've been in that position for ten years. People are going to look at that and be less willing to hire you. And that sent me freakin spiraling.

Well, no, the company he works for is a terrible company. I won't impugn them, but they're terrible. Well, in the end, these problems are about me. If I really think about it, when I think about the weight stuff, if I comparing myself to other people, this is also going back to I'll be happy when I feel less than unless I'm thin and ripped. I'm a loser. I'm not worth it if I'm at the weight I'm at now, if I'm in the

physical conditioning. But when I get to that point, then I have reached that nirvana where everybody will accept me. The same thing with the jobs as I look at other people in higher positions because I haven't moved up as fast. There must be something wrong with me, and the worst thing that I ever did is I talked to a recruiter who was like, Well, you've been in that position for ten years. People are going to look at that and be less willing to hire you. And that sent me freakin spiraling.

Well, no, the company he works for is a terrible company. I won't impugn them, but they're terrible. Well, in the end, these problems are about me. If I really think about it, when I think about the weight stuff, if I comparing myself to other people, this is also going back to I'll be happy when I feel less than unless I'm thin and ripped. I'm a loser. I'm not worth it if I'm at the weight I'm at now, if I'm in the

physical conditioning. But when I get to that point, then I have reached that nirvana where everybody will accept me. The same thing with the jobs as I look at other people in higher positions because I haven't moved up as fast. There must be something wrong with me, and the worst thing that I ever did is I talked to a recruiter who was like, Well, you've been in that position for ten years. People are going to look at that and be less willing to hire you. And that sent me freakin spiraling.

Well, no, the company he works for is a terrible company. I won't impugn them, but they're terrible. in the end, these problems are about me. If I really think about it, when I think about the weight stuff, if I comparing myself to other people, this is also going back to I'll be happy when I feel less than unless I'm thin and ripped. I'm a loser. I'm not worth it if I'm at the weight I'm at now, if I'm in the

physical conditioning. But when I get to that point, then I have reached that nirvana where everybody will accept me. The same thing with the jobs as I look at other people in higher positions because I haven't moved up as fast. There must be something wrong with me, and the worst thing that I ever did is I talked to a recruiter who was like, Well, you've been in that position for ten years. People are going to look at that and be less willing to hire you. And that sent me freakin spiraling.

Well, no, the company he works for is a terrible company. I won't impugn them, but they're terrible. in the end, these problems are about me. If I really think about it, when I think about the weight stuff, if I comparing myself to other people, this is also going back to I'll be happy when I feel less than unless I'm thin and ripped. I'm a loser. I'm not worth it if I'm at the weight I'm at now, if I'm in the

physical conditioning. But when I get to that point, then I have reached that nirvana where everybody will accept me. The same thing with the jobs as I look at other people in higher positions because I haven't moved up as fast. There must be something wrong with me, and the worst thing that I ever did is I talked to a recruiter who was like, Well, you've been in that position for ten years. People are going to look at that and be less willing to hire you. And that sent me freakin spiraling.

Well, no, the company he works for is a terrible company. I won't impugn them, but they're terrible. The same thing with the jobs as I look at other people in higher positions because I haven't moved up as fast. There must be something wrong with me, and the worst thing that I ever did is I talked to a recruiter who was like, Well, you've been in that position for ten years. People are going to look at that and be less willing to hire you. And that sent me freakin spiraling.

Well, no, the company he works for is a terrible company. I won't impugn them, but they're terrible. Well, no, the company he works for is a terrible company. I won't impugn them, but they're terrible.

not happy. Maybe I should pick up a drink or maybe I should, you know, look somewhere else. Or maybe I should do whatever it is and and the truth is, just like you said, it's all about me. You know? It's all about me. My happiness is not derived by anybody else's viewpoint or actions. Actually, you know, one of the things people say happiness is

put on, you know, bug spray. And so, so this whole point, as I'm coming back to the car, I'm looking all over to see if I lost this thing. And I get back and I had been charging it and it was still sitting there where I was charging it. Right,

do like having it. But the truth is, with all the apps and stuff on your phone, it's become a less, a less useful tool to me than it used to be, you know, because almost everything that it does I can do on my phone nowadays. But anyway, so but that's one of those things, right? Like, you know, I don't have to worry about it. I mean, other people don't have to worry about that because they don't have a whatever it was was probably a $250 watch. Again, I

didn't buy it. My kids bought it for me for Christmas one year, but I don't want to lose it for that either. But my point is I didn't. I did. And and it's something that, you know, I have to worry about and other people don't,

I need to really. And I one thing I learned on this trip, like when I get there, I need to sort of take a moment and sort of get organized right in my brain that my, you know, physical thing in my brain and and and doing I thought the exact same thing like when I get a little bit under stress there it's it's hard and, you know we're not alone with that. A lot of people struggle with that and I same thing I wouldn't feel like a failure, but I was thinking, hey, maybe the strap

broke. I was trying to think like maybe a strap broke, maybe didn't put out. Like, as I said, it was it was sitting where I left it. I had never put it on my my wrist. So all, you know, I worked out in the end. But, but again, one of those things that I worry about a can really can really throw me sometimes.

You don't have to do that. Like, I will talk in order to try to save that meeting to make sure that that guy, your friend doesn't leave with that. And I guess the other thing would happen if I was in that meeting and I saw a new person and I saw that happen, I would go up to that new person at the end of that meeting and say, Hey, this, I'm sorry about this. This is not the way this meeting usually goes. Or, you know,I would let him know that that this is not

the way it typically goes. The other thing is, is that this person probably really isn't really into it, you know, so it may have been half right. So it may have been hard for them to get something out of the meeting anyway.

you're a friend. If your friend wants a, Mm hmm. they'll be able to find a meeting that works for them, right? Yeah.

don't want to talk. And he's been willing to talk to me so I'll see him and he does talk to me tonight. He must have got my number for somebody else. He says, Hey, I just wanna let you know we've been talking about sponsorship. And I told him I had a long discussion with them last week. I'm like, I'm not shopping for a sponsor. You first of all, I'm not shopping for a sponsorship. I'll do whatever you need. You know, if you need help, I'll help you. But you need to get a sponsor.

Like you need to get one. You need find somebody. Here's what you should do. Go to Friday night. He's talking about going to the Thursday night meeting.And like those two meetings you can come out of there to sponsor, right? You can come out of there with a sponsor, right? You just got fun. And he texted me today, said, hey,

to do this. And hopefully he's a young guy. Hopefully he'll be able to stick around and get some good sobriety. So they really do. They really do.

Yeah. Listen, you know what I'm like. I even told them, like, you don't. You don't get the whole picture. Trust me. You don't. You don't see it. Thank you. But you don't see the whole picture Hmm. anyway. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Me?

in any of my meetings. But I have seen it happen before and I have seen people take totally different and irresponsible or or not irresponsible or bad taste, bad ideas on certain things. And if that happens, I immediately put my hand up and I just put my opinion out there like, you don't have to think like that. You don't have to do that. Like, I will talk in order to try to save that meeting to make sure that that guy, your friend doesn't leave with that.

And I guess the other thing would happen if I was in that meeting and I saw a new person and I saw that happen, I would go up to that new person at the end of that meeting and say, Hey, this, I'm sorry about this. This is not the way this meeting usually goes. Or, you know,I would let him know that that this is not the way it typically goes. The other thing is, is that this person probably really isn't really into it, you know, so it may have been half right.

So it may have been hard for them to get something out of the meeting anyway. And maybe it wasn't bad, as bad as they were thinking. Right. So there could be some other stuff going on there too. Right. Right. Yeah. If that's the problem, the guy person's going on too long. Absolutely. I mean, there is a limit. Like, and if it's a newcomer and your ass is on fire even now, but even that I've

seen it happen. Like, even that you what you do is you cut them off gently or not so gently, depending on who the person is and how well you know them. Maybe they're just like that. And you don't have to be gentle with them.You just have to be tough with them. And then you say, Hey, let's, you know, grab somebody after the meeting and you can you can finish up your your conversation, Right? So, yeah, it's going to happen if

you're a friend. If your friend wants a, they'll be able to find a meeting that works for them, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. Um, yeah, right. Now, you know something that we. I know we both try to make sure that especially new people come in and. And they have a good experience at meetings that we're at. I think we've done a great job at our Monday night meeting. We've had some people come in. I really do. And everybody there. Yeah, And everybody is like, Really?

You've made me feel comfortable. You made me feel, you know, And that's I mean, I feel great when I hear that. And people have come in and they're staying. And then there's a guy that the young guy whose name happened to be Matt, also new guy, has been coming to our Friday night meeting, I guess, for like three weeks now. And and I've been talking to him. I talked to have a new person comes in and if they want to talk, I'll talk with them. Sometimes they don't

want to talk. And he's been willing to talk to me so I'll see him and he does talk to me tonight. He must have got my number for somebody else. He says, Hey, I just wanna let you know we've been talking about sponsorship. And I told him I had a long discussion with them last week. I'm like, I'm not shopping for a sponsor. You first of all, I'm not shopping for a sponsorship. I'll do whatever you need. You know, if you need help, I'll help you. But you need to get a sponsor.

Like you need to get one. You need find somebody. Here's what you should do. Go to Friday night. He's talking about going to the Thursday night meeting.And like those two meetings you can come out of there to sponsor, right? You can come out of there with a sponsor, right? You just got fun. And he texted me today, said, hey, it's fine. You know, if I'm the sponsor, he told me who it was. I know this person. I'm like, I think it's a great choice and thanks for keeping me.

And he said to me, Thanks for being so supportive. I mean, that message right there, right. That message is why I go to meetings. So because and all I did was talk to this guy. That's all I did talk to him 10 minutes before the meeting, talked to him after the meeting a little bit, and then try to try to guide them like, hey, you need to do this. And hopefully he's a young guy. Hopefully he'll be able to stick around and get some good sobriety. So they really do. They really do.

Absolutely. Was was one of my strong points for a long time, especially when I was a dry drunk and they said I still could be a prick once in a while. But I do work on a lot harder. I mean, I am much more compassionate and much more empathetic than I ever used to be, right? Yeah, right. Yeah. I lived that double life my whole life. I still have cousins and I have a lot of aunts still living there. They just thought I was the cat's

meow. They did, because that's what I showed them, right when I was what I was in their presence. That's what I showed them that. And yeah, they have they had no clue and they still don't have an clue. I have some cousins, especially my my mom's side cousins on my father's side. They know that we hung out, we drank together, we party together. But our mom's side, like they still. Oh, my God. Yeah. Listen, you know what I'm like. I even told them, like, you don't. You don't get the

whole picture. Trust me. You don't. You don't see it. Thank you. But you don't see the whole picture anyway. Me? Oh, me too. Me too. Yeah, right. Hey, Ma. Thank you. Well, if it's my regular meeting and somebody really is trying to hijack the meeting, I, I wouldn't stand for it. Right. I don't you know, I'm not shy in those things. And so I would you know, I would first of all, I'd listen to try to figure out if this is somebody trying to hijack it for them. But I would always and

I've had this happen. I haven't this hasn't happened in a while in any of my meetings. But I have seen it happen before and I have seen people take totally different and irresponsible or or not irresponsible or bad taste, bad ideas on certain things. And if that happens, I immediately put my hand up and I just put my opinion out there like, you don't have to think like that. You don't have to do

that. Like, I will talk in order to try to save that meeting to make sure that that guy, your friend doesn't leave with that. And I guess the other thing would happen if I was in that meeting and I saw a new person and I saw that happen, I would go up to that new person at the end of that meeting and say, Hey, this, I'm sorry about this. This is not the way this meeting usually goes. Or, you know,I would let him know that that this is not the way it typically

goes. The other thing is, is that this person probably really isn't really into it, you know, so it may have been half right. So it may have been hard for them to get something out of the meeting anyway. And maybe it wasn't bad, as bad as they were thinking. Right. So there could be some other stuff going on there too. Right. Right. Yeah. If that's the problem, the guy person's going on too long. Absolutely. I mean, there is a

limit. Like, and if it's a newcomer and your ass is on fire even now, but even that I've seen it happen. Like, even that you what you do is you cut them off gently or not so gently, depending on who the person is and how well you know them. Maybe they're just like that. And you don't have to be gentle with them.You just have to be tough with them. And then you say, Hey, let's, you know, grab somebody after the meeting and you can you can finish up your

your conversation, Right? So, yeah, it's going to happen if you're a friend. If your friend wants a, they'll be able to find a meeting that works for them, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. Um, yeah, right. Now, you know something that we. I know we both try to make sure that especially new people come in and. And they have a good experience at meetings that we're at. I think we've done a great job at our Monday night meeting. We've had some people come in. I really do. And

everybody there. Yeah, And everybody is like, Really? You've made me feel comfortable. You made me feel, you know, And that's I mean, I feel great when I hear that. And people have come in and they're staying. And then there's a guy that the young guy whose name happened to be Matt, also new guy, has been coming to our Friday night meeting, I guess, for like three weeks now. And and I've been talking to him. I talked to have a new person comes in and if they want to talk, I'll talk

with them. Sometimes they don't want to talk. And he's been willing to talk to me so I'll see him and he does talk to me tonight. He must have got my number for somebody else. He says, Hey, I just wanna let you know we've been talking about sponsorship. And I told him I had a long discussion with them last week. I'm like, I'm not shopping for a sponsor. You first of all, I'm not shopping for a sponsorship. I'll do whatever you need. You know, if you need help, I'll help you.

But you need to get a sponsor. Like you need to get one. You need find somebody. Here's what you should do. Go to Friday night. He's talking about going to the Thursday night meeting.And like those two meetings you can come out of there to sponsor, right? You can come out of there with a sponsor, right? You just got fun. And he texted me today, said, hey, it's fine. You know, if I'm the sponsor, he told me who it was. I know this person.

I'm like, I think it's a great choice and thanks for keeping me. And he said to me, Thanks for being so supportive. I mean, that message right there, right. That message is why I go to meetings. So because and all I did was talk to this guy. That's all I did talk to him 10 minutes before the meeting, talked to him after the meeting a little bit, and then try to try to guide them like, hey, you need to do this. And hopefully he's a young guy. Hopefully he'll be able to stick around and get

some good sobriety. So they really do. They really do. Absolutely. Was was one of my strong points for a long time, especially when I was a dry drunk and they said I still could be a prick once in a while. But I do work on a lot harder. I mean, I am much more compassionate and much more empathetic than I ever used to be, right? Yeah, right. Yeah. I lived that double life my whole life. I still have cousins and I have a lot of aunts still living there. They just thought I was the cat's

meow. They did, because that's what I showed them, right when I was what I was in their presence. That's what I showed them that. And yeah, they have they had no clue and they still don't have an clue. I have some cousins, especially my my mom's side cousins on my father's side. They know that we hung out, we drank together, we party together. But our mom's side, like they still. Oh, my God. Yeah. Listen, you know what I'm like. I even told them, like, you don't. You don't get the

whole picture. Trust me. You don't. You don't see it. Thank you. But you don't see the whole picture anyway. Me? Oh, me too. Me too. Yeah, right. Hey, Ma. Thank you. Well, if it's my regular meeting and somebody really is trying to hijack the meeting, I, I wouldn't stand for it. Right. I don't you know, I'm not shy in those things. And so I would you know, I would first of all, I'd listen to try to figure out if this is somebody trying to hijack it for them. But I would always and

I've had this happen. I haven't this hasn't happened in a while in any of my meetings. But I have seen it happen before and I have seen people take totally different and irresponsible or or not irresponsible or bad taste, bad ideas on certain things. And if that happens, I immediately put my hand up and I just put my opinion out there like, you don't have to think like that. You don't have to do

that. Like, I will talk in order to try to save that meeting to make sure that that guy, your friend doesn't leave with that. And I guess the other thing would happen if I was in that meeting and I saw a new person and I saw that happen, I would go up to that new person at the end of that meeting and say, Hey, this, I'm sorry about this. This is not the way this meeting usually goes. Or, you know,I would let him know that that this is not the way it typically

goes. The other thing is, is that this person probably really isn't really into it, you know, so it may have been half right. So it may have been hard for them to get something out of the meeting anyway. And maybe it wasn't bad, as bad as they were thinking. Right. So there could be some other stuff going on there too. Right. Right. Yeah. If that's the problem, the guy person's going on too long. Absolutely. I mean, there is a

limit. Like, and if it's a newcomer and your ass is on fire even now, but even that I've seen it happen. Like, even that you what you do is you cut them off gently or not so gently, depending on who the person is and how well you know them. Maybe they're just like that. And you don't have to be gentle with them.You just have to be tough with them. And then you say, Hey, let's, you know, grab somebody after the meeting and you can you can finish up your

your conversation, Right? So, yeah, it's going to happen if you're a friend. If your friend wants a, they'll be able to find a meeting that works for them, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah. yeah, right. Now, you know something that we. I know we both try to make sure that especially new people come in and. And they have a good experience at meetings that we're at. I think we've done a great job at our Monday night meeting. We've had some people come in. I really do. And

everybody there. Yeah, And everybody is like, Really? You've made me feel comfortable. You made me feel, you know, And that's I mean, I feel great when I hear that. And people have come in and they're staying. And then there's a guy that the young guy whose name happened to be Matt, also new guy, has been coming to our Friday night meeting, I guess, for like three weeks now. And and I've been talking to him. I talked to have a new person comes in and if they want to talk, I'll talk

with them. Sometimes they don't want to talk. And he's been willing to talk to me so I'll see him and he does talk to me tonight. He must have got my number for somebody else. He says, Hey, I just wanna let you know we've been talking about sponsorship. And I told him I had a long discussion with them last week. I'm like, I'm not shopping for a sponsor. You first of all, I'm not shopping for a sponsorship. I'll do whatever you need. You know, if you need help, I'll help you.

But you need to get a sponsor. Like you need to get one. You need find somebody. Here's what you should do. Go to Friday night. He's talking about going to the Thursday night meeting.And like those two meetings you can come out of there to sponsor, right? You can come out of there with a sponsor, right? You just got fun. And he texted me today, said, hey, it's fine. You know, if I'm the sponsor, he told me who it was. I know this person.

I'm like, I think it's a great choice and thanks for keeping me. And he said to me, Thanks for being so supportive. I mean, that message right there, right. That message is why I go to meetings. So because and all I did was talk to this guy. That's all I did talk to him 10 minutes before the meeting, talked to him after the meeting a little bit, and then try to try to guide them like, hey, you need to do this. And hopefully he's a young guy. Hopefully he'll be able to stick around and get

some good sobriety. So they really They really do. Absolutely. Was was one of my strong points for a long time, especially when I was a dry drunk and they said I still could be a prick once in a while. But I do work on a lot harder. I mean, I am much more compassionate and much more empathetic than I ever used to be, right? Yeah, right. Yeah. I lived that double life my whole life. I still have cousins and I have a lot of aunts still living there. They just thought I was the cat's

meow. They did, because that's what I showed them, right when I was what I was in their presence. That's what I showed them that. And yeah, they have they had no clue and they still don't have an clue. I have some cousins, especially my my mom's side cousins on my father's side. They know that we hung out, we drank together, we party together. But our mom's side, like they still. Oh, my God. Yeah. Listen, you know what I'm like. I even told them, like, you don't. You don't get the

whole picture. Trust me. You don't. You don't see it. Thank you. But you don't see the whole picture anyway. Me? Oh, me too. Me too. right. Hey, Ma. Thank you.

I there are times, especially under stress, that I don't remember the things that I'm doing and that's how I lose things. I just can't focus under certain circumstances. Before we end, I have a question on another topic for you. I have a friend who is not a member of a 12 step group, but they're traveling. And so the person decided they wanted to try an AA meeting. They're out of town. Great idea. And the person didn't get a lot from the

meeting and they asked why. A person said because somebody shared and they just hijacked the meeting. What? And they asked me, What do you do in that situation? So if you're the meeting chair and somebody decided to hijack the meeting, what would you do? I won't stand for no baloney. I'm sure there's some of that. Yeah. I told this person that if I was the chair, I would probably mildly interrupt and say, I want to make sure that we

can get to everyone. If you do have more that you want to share, I would recommend stay after the meeting, grab somebody and have the conversation. Yeah. Mm hmm. They don't. They just wanted a little recovery while they were traveling, and it played into their mindset. But I also told them McDonald's, you can go to any McDonald's and they have a system down that the hamburger is going to taste the same no matter what McDonald's. There is no quality control. And alcoholics Anonymous and there

are lousy meetings. And I said, this is why I still go to meetings, is I want there to be good meetings for people who are new, who don't know otherwise, because there are there are meetings where the people are totally out of control. And if you've got somebody and that's the only experience they have, they're going to walk out and say, AA is a joke. And so it's I look at it now, it's my responsibility because I don't need to take anymore to be a good example and to maybe have a

strong opinion. Sometimes when it makes sense for the group, because I truly believe that you need people who set a good example to show what is possible, what you can goal set against. So that's why I said I feel bad that you had that you got a bad experience because you went to a bad meeting and that's not how they all are. Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine.

Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better. I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah.

I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody next week by everybody. Before we end, I have a question on

another topic for you. I have a friend who is not a member of a 12 step group, but they're traveling. And so the person decided they wanted to try an AA meeting. They're out of town. Great idea. And the person didn't get a lot from the meeting and they asked why. A person said because somebody shared and they just hijacked the meeting. What? And they asked me, What do you do in that situation? So if you're the meeting chair and somebody decided to hijack the meeting, what would you do?

I won't stand for no baloney. I'm sure there's some of that. Yeah. I told this person that if I was the chair, I would probably mildly interrupt and say, I want to make sure that we can get to everyone. If you do have more that you want to share, I would recommend stay after the meeting, grab somebody and have the conversation. Yeah. Mm hmm. They don't. They just wanted a little recovery while they were traveling, and it

played into their mindset. But I also told them McDonald's, you can go to any McDonald's and they have a system down that the hamburger is going to taste the same no matter what McDonald's. There is no quality control. And alcoholics Anonymous and there are lousy meetings. And I said, this is why I still go to meetings, is I want there to be good meetings for people who are new, who don't know otherwise, because there are there are meetings where the people are

totally out of control. And if you've got somebody and that's the only experience they have, they're going to walk out and say, AA is a joke. And so it's I look at it now, it's my responsibility because I don't need to take anymore to be a good example and to maybe have a strong opinion. Sometimes when it makes sense for the group, because I truly believe that you need people who set a good example to show what is possible, what you can goal set against.

So that's why I said I feel bad that you had that you got a bad experience because you went to a bad meeting and that's not how they all are. Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine. Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better.

I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah. I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can

stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody next week by everybody. Before we end, I have a question on another topic for you. I have a friend who is not a member of a 12 step group, but they're traveling. And so the person decided they wanted to try an AA meeting. They're out of town. Great idea. And the person didn't get a lot from the

meeting and they asked why. A person said because somebody shared and they just hijacked the meeting. What? And they asked me, What do you do in that situation? So if you're the meeting chair and somebody decided to hijack the meeting, what would you do? I won't stand for no baloney. I'm sure there's some of that. Yeah. I told this person that if I was the chair, I would probably mildly interrupt and say, I want to make sure that we

can get to everyone. If you do have more that you want to share, I would recommend stay after the meeting, grab somebody and have the conversation. Yeah. Mm hmm. They don't. They just wanted a little recovery while they were traveling, and it played into their mindset. But I also told them McDonald's, you can go to any McDonald's and they have a system down that the hamburger is going to taste the same no matter what McDonald's. There is no quality control. And alcoholics Anonymous and there

are lousy meetings. And I said, this is why I still go to meetings, is I want there to be good meetings for people who are new, who don't know otherwise, because there are there are meetings where the people are totally out of control. And if you've got somebody and that's the only experience they have, they're going to walk out and say, AA is a joke. And so it's I look at it now, it's my responsibility because I don't need to take anymore to be a good example and to maybe have a

strong opinion. Sometimes when it makes sense for the group, because I truly believe that you need people who set a good example to show what is possible, what you can goal set against. So that's why I said I feel bad that you had that you got a bad experience because you went to a bad meeting and that's not how they all are. Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine.

Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better. I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah.

I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody next week by everybody. Before we end, I have a question on

another topic for you. I have a friend who is not a member of a 12 step group, but they're traveling. And so the person decided they wanted to try an AA meeting. They're out of town. Great idea. And the person didn't get a lot from the meeting and they asked why. A person said because somebody shared and they just hijacked the meeting. What? And they asked me, What do you do in that situation? So if you're the meeting chair and somebody decided to hijack the meeting, what would you do?

I won't stand for no baloney. I'm sure there's some of that. Yeah. I told this person that if I was the chair, I would probably mildly interrupt and say, I want to make sure that we can get to everyone. If you do have more that you want to share, I would recommend stay after the meeting, grab somebody and have the conversation. Yeah. Mm hmm. They don't. They just wanted a little recovery while they were traveling, and it

played into their mindset. But I also told them McDonald's, you can go to any McDonald's and they have a system down that the hamburger is going to taste the same no matter what McDonald's. There is no quality control. And alcoholics Anonymous and there are lousy meetings. And I said, this is why I still go to meetings, is I want there to be good meetings for people who are new, who don't know otherwise, because there are there are meetings where the people are

totally out of control. And if you've got somebody and that's the only experience they have, they're going to walk out and say, AA is a joke. And so it's I look at it now, it's my responsibility because I don't need to take anymore to be a good example and to maybe have a strong opinion. Sometimes when it makes sense for the group, because I truly believe that you need people who set a good example to show what is possible, what you can goal set against.

So that's why I said I feel bad that you had that you got a bad experience because you went to a bad meeting and that's not how they all are. Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine. Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better.

I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah. I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can

stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody next week by everybody. I won't stand for no baloney. I'm sure there's some of that. Yeah. I told this person that if I was the chair, I would probably mildly interrupt and say, I want to make sure that we can get to everyone. If you do have more that you want to share, I would recommend stay after the meeting, grab somebody and have the conversation.

Yeah. Mm hmm. They don't. They just wanted a little recovery while they were traveling, and it played into their mindset. But I also told them McDonald's, you can go to any McDonald's and they have a system down that the hamburger is going to taste the same no matter what McDonald's. There is no quality control. And alcoholics Anonymous and there

are lousy meetings. And I said, this is why I still go to meetings, is I want there to be good meetings for people who are new, who don't know otherwise, because there are there are meetings where the people are totally out of control. And if you've got somebody and that's the only experience they have, they're going to walk out and say, AA is a joke. And so it's I look at it now, it's my responsibility because I don't need to take anymore to be a good example and to maybe have a

strong opinion. Sometimes when it makes sense for the group, because I truly believe that you need people who set a good example to show what is possible, what you can goal set against. So that's why I said I feel bad that you had that you got a bad experience because you went to a bad meeting and that's not how they all are. Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine.

Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better. I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah.

I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody next week by everybody. I'm sure there's some of that.

Yeah. I told this person that if I was the chair, I would probably mildly interrupt and say, I want to make sure that we can get to everyone. If you do have more that you want to share, I would recommend stay after the meeting, grab somebody and have the conversation. Yeah. Mm hmm. They don't. They just wanted a little recovery while they were traveling, and it

played into their mindset. But I also told them McDonald's, you can go to any McDonald's and they have a system down that the hamburger is going to taste the same no matter what McDonald's. There is no quality control. And alcoholics Anonymous and there are lousy meetings. And I said, this is why I still go to meetings, is I want there to be good meetings for people who are new, who don't know otherwise, because there are there are meetings where the people are

totally out of control. And if you've got somebody and that's the only experience they have, they're going to walk out and say, AA is a joke. And so it's I look at it now, it's my responsibility because I don't need to take anymore to be a good example and to maybe have a strong opinion. Sometimes when it makes sense for the group, because I truly believe that you need people who set a good example to show what is possible, what you can goal set against.

So that's why I said I feel bad that you had that you got a bad experience because you went to a bad meeting and that's not how they all are. Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine. Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better.

I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah. I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can

stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody next week by everybody. Mm hmm. They don't. They just wanted a little recovery while they were traveling, and it played into their mindset. But I also told them McDonald's, you can go to any McDonald's and they have a system down that the hamburger is going to taste the same no matter what McDonald's.

There is no quality control. And alcoholics Anonymous and there are lousy meetings. And I said, this is why I still go to meetings, is I want there to be good meetings for people who are new, who don't know otherwise, because there are there are meetings where the people are totally out of control. And if you've got somebody and that's the only experience they have, they're going to walk out and

say, AA is a joke. And so it's I look at it now, it's my responsibility because I don't need to take anymore to be a good example and to maybe have a strong opinion. Sometimes when it makes sense for the group, because I truly believe that you need people who set a good example to show what is possible, what you can goal set against. So that's why I said I feel bad that you had that you got a bad experience because you went to a bad meeting and that's not how they all are.

Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine. Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better. I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you

identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah. I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody

next week by everybody. And so it's I look at it now, it's my responsibility because I don't need to take anymore to be a good example and to maybe have a strong opinion. Sometimes when it makes sense for the group, because I truly believe that you need people who set a good example to show what is possible, what you can goal set against. So that's why I said I feel bad that you had that you got a bad experience because you went to a bad meeting and that's not how they all are.

Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine. Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better. I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you

identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah. I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody

next week by everybody. Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine. Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better. I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you

identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah. I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody

next week by everybody. Yep. Instead, I. Perfect. Empathy and kindness go a long way that you can make an impact. No, not mine. Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better. I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you

identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah. I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody

next week by everybody. Ash Butters told me on the nicest person on Instagram sobriety, and I said, You have no idea what a prick I am. You have no idea how awful I could be if I chose to be. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better. I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah.

I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody next week by everybody. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Right. And I feel better.

I feel better being nice and empathetic and helpful to other people. I do. Well, we'd love to hear what your feedback is on things like this. Do you identify with. I'll be happy when I get to a certain point. Are you all or nothing of. Yeah. I'm not going to go on that hike unless I can reach the Appalachian Trail and do a good 15 miles. Otherwise, it's just not worth my time. You can reach us at our website, Sober Friends podcast while you're there. Join the mailing list so that we can

stay in touch. Why don't you subscribe to the Instagram channel at Sober Friends Pod? Steve, thanks for another great show and we'll see everybody next week by everybody.