What a great episode of the Sober Friends podcast you are about to hear. This is a special episode. It's a collaboration with Last Drinks with Mars. Compton. Mars Compton. Does Breakfast radio in Australia. She was the original host of The Australian version of Total Request Live on Australian MTV. She's traveled the world. She has been incredibly successful in morning radio and she's one of us. Somebody who decided to quit drinking and took her last drink. Ne Year's Eve of 2014, seen in
this episode. That'll be both on the last drinks feed and the Sober Friends Feed, Feed. We talk about her last drink. We talk about her career in Australia. I share a lot of stuff that you have probably already heard me talk about, but we talk about it in a different way. And with the advent of technology, we can have this conversation on two different coasts to different parts of the world. I learned that Mars, even being on radio, is an introvert,
much like me. I found out that even though she was interviewing bands from all over the world, i getting felt up by Fergie, that she felt like she was an imposter. Interviewing these people, You are going to love this episode. Now here's Mars.
I love doing collabs because it's more bang for your buck.
Oh, yeah,
Obviously joining me on my podcast and I am also joining him on his podcast Across the Seas, it's Matt from Sober Friends Pod now. You're based in Connecticut.
yeah. East Coast, United States not far from New York City,
And you are fully sober.
fully sober since March 21st, 2014. We're pretty close in
We
our sobriety
are close
dates,
to 100%. Well, can I can I jump in first and ask
of course.
you about your last drink? Can you tell me about your last drink?
I can tell you all about it. It was two days after my youngest daughter was born. My father
Oh, well.
in law brought over a bottle of white wine and I went and grabbed that bottle. And I must have gone through three quarters of it. And I didn't finish it. For whatever reason, I saw that there were three quarters left and I looked and said, I can't finish this. I can't go through this whole bottle. I have to stop. And no idea why. And that ended up being the last drink I ever had. Put it down. And there was no intent to stop drinking. And I did.
Wow.
And it really wasn't intentional. For another month. I would drive into liquor stores and a drive in. I'd sit there and the wheel would kind of come out of my hands and I would drive away.
That's why it's almost like a spiritual experience.
Very much so.
You know, and and look, people have their opinions about spirituality and spiritual and all and all of those things. But that is such a unique story that I do feel like when people have and will get into what you're drinking behavior was like prior to that event in a minute. But
Right.
when people have problematic relationships with alcohol, t very thought of not drinking can really cause a lot of anxiety,
Absolutely.
feelings of impossibility, hopelessness. And this idea that you have to you're just forever going to be white knuckling forever just going and not drinking, and it's going to be a struggle. And I think for a lot of people, those early days are a real struggle because you're battling with so many things that are happening in your physiology, with your mental health, with your relationships.
But to hear that you just somehow had this feeling that you had done and then you were done is really quite interesting.
It ended up that I hadn't drunk for a while, and then maybe a month later or so, I was watching an American TV show called Switched at Birth. One of the main characters was in recovery and she found a boyfriend and he owned a bar and he handed her a glass of wine and I could see the look on her face that she knew she was doing something she shouldn't be doing. This was not smart. Put the glass to her lips. And as the liquid was going past her tongue, you could see the change on her face.
Wow. In that moment, I looked there and I said, This is me. I have a problem. And for the first time I looked and said, Alcohol's the least of my problems. If I really want to stop drinking, which I have to do because I know I am an alcoholic now. Everything in my life has to change. And I felt like my body was on fire. The only way to describe it was wearing a wool sweater on the inside and it burned. And it didn't stop burning for weeks. And every
Wow.
moment of every day was around. I have to drink, I have to drink. Have to drink, hav to drink. And I didn't feel like that in the previous month. For whatever reason, I was being shielded. But I was set up for that, for that moment to stop drinking. And it hit me all at once.
It sounds like you got switched at birth, like as in your sober self switched into you when Yeah. your youngest daughter was born.
Right.
Somehow. So tell me about your relationship with alcohol leading into that bottle of wine or almost bottle of wine incident
Matt.
just after your daughter was born. What was. Were you a daily drinker? Day drinker. Weekends only. You know, how. How hard did you go
I wasn't a daily drinker. I didn't drink in the morning. I almost had rules in my mind. I had rules that I couldn't do things at certain times because if I did, I was an alcoholic. My
Yeah,
father was an alcoholic. He drank one of those big jugs of Gallo every day. My mother had problems. My stepfather was an alcoholic. So I was Wow. surrounded by this.
Okay.
And I was never going to be an alcoholic because of that. I was never going to have those problems. So I had all of these rules that I would try and stop drinking after two, or I would only drink at night, or I'd only drink on weekends. But when I stopped and tried to control it, I couldn't enjoy it. I was miserable and when I enjoyed it, I could have no control. And I drank alone. I drank Mm hmm. in secret and
Yeah.
there were even those times I tried to control it. And then there were times that next thing you knew, a six pack was gone.
Yeah.
And I couldn't explain why.
Yeah, it's so interesting. So I call what you've described. I call the invisible boundaries, which are. It's how we bargain with our behavior. And we.
Oh, yeah.
We justify what we do by saying things like, Well, I'm only I only drink at night. I only do this so I'm not as bad as that person. And because
And
we have these little parameters, we convince ourselves that means that we are okay because we're not that bad and we're not doing it there or here or whatever. And even maybe subconsciously you were like, Well, I'm I am alone in drinking. So it's kind of okay because no one else has to see this or deal with this.
yes.
Right? But what I think my encouragement to anyone And. who's listening going, Oh my God, it's like, read what gets me is instead of giving us all these invisible boundaries, is actually asking yourself the one big question, which is, why am I drinking? Not how much, what time of day, what type of liquor? Or excusing it because, well, I had three days sober this week, so I'm a lap instead of doing the numbers do the feelings bit, which is why do I actually feel like I'm doing
this behavior? And then from there you can start to kind of have that conversation with yourself about, well, if this is why I'm drinking, maybe, as you said, it's not about the alcohol, It's about all this other stuff like family upbringing, childhood trauma. We all have so many things, you know, that that we carry with us and we try to manage and cope. And and what have you. So that that's definitely my echo from this story that you've shared so far is to the numbers. Doesn't help anyone right
No. No one. It's not about the numbers and it's not about the DUIs and it's not about being homeless, which I thought it's about what does alcohol do to me when it's in my system? And MM. when it comes into my system, it's really hard to stop. And I could stop maybe at two, but it's hard. It takes effort. And then my mind is going nuts. That's not what normal people do with alcohol. They have a drink, they're fine, they stop.
Yeah. It's a really, it's such an interesting place to arrive where you. It's like thinking about your behavior rather than just behaving your behaviors, you know? And I don't know if that's something that happens as we get older or our season of life changes and you've all of a sudden got added responsibility because it's another family member or whatever it is, at some point you do arrive at this place where you're like, Huh, How come? What? Why am I behaving like
this? W am I doing this? And, and yeah, like I said, from there you can really start to unpack the whys and then it's it's a bit of work, you know, like it is. It's a bit of uncomfortability for those people just sitting with feelings and actually processing them and growing from them and, you know, learning a bit about ourselves.
I struggle with spirituality and you talked about it earlier. Spirituality
Yeah.
for me is a journey. Yet I think it's not that you got older, that you stopped and something hit you. For me, I think something touches upon you from the universe to get you to stop. And I'm a firm believer those of us who have stopped drinking have done so because there's some type of purpose in our life that we were chosen to help other people. And I think that's the difference between those who stop and those who don't because they don't have
another explanation for it. I tried doing this a lot of times and I never could get it through my head. I had a problem, but this
Mm
time everything change and I had a different mindset than I've ever had in my life and I can't explain it.
So I have a mild obsession with Oprah Winfrey, which regular listeners to my podcast will understand. This will be brand new news for listeners of your podcast, Matt, and she has this saying about how the universe speaks to us in whispers. And at first it will be this tiny little pebble in the in the very still like, and that pebble drops in and there's a little tiny ripple effect. And if you don't notice that, then there's a little rock that gets dropped in and there's a bigger
ripple. And if you don't notice that, then there's a bigger rock and then there's a brick. And then at some point the whole world comes crashing down. And it's this idea that there are these things that are signposted for us along the way. And sometimes we miss them all until we get to that crucial crossroads line in the sand Big
deal moment. But I think for a lot of people who have become sober, if they think back about their journey, they can be like, Oh my God, that was the pebble, that was the rock, this was that moment. And because the thing with alcohol is, is it rewires our brain and it changes the way we think. It's really difficult to see those signs and it also gives us huge lapses in memory function. And so we don't remember the signs even if we do
see them. So the alcohol one is a real double whammy for people who are stuck in that cycle.
I also love Oprah because I have learned a lot about listening from her. If you ever want to be a great interview, watch Oprah and watch how she does it. She speaks very little, asks one word and gets people to open up. I love that analogy, and the only thing I would say is different for me is you have to skip a rock. It skip and then hit me straight in the head to learn. I need to learn from pain
Wow.
so I can
Well,
identify with that analogy.
and I guess in a way that is self-awareness. Yes. Because if you know that about yourself, then that's great for you to know about yourself.You know what I mean? And I think this the sobriety journey is it's less about alcohol and it's more about discovering ourselves and how we function in this world without booze. And that is more about us honoring ourselves than it is about any amount of alcohol. You know, like as much as drinking wasn't my whole story, but it was very much a
big, big part of it. But I feel like sobriety is the whole thing, you know, like I'm I'm obsessed with being sober. It's
Michelle
it's my passion. It's it's the you know, because it's so good you want to share it with everyone. Whereas alcohol, I was always trying to hide it. And I was, you know, downplaying how much I was drinking because it felt and sounded bad, whereas with sobriety, you don't need to downplay how awesome sobriety is. You just people notice that on you as well. I don't know if you found this map, but when I stopped drinking after a few months, people were like, Oh,
what's going on with you? Like, have you you been washing your hair more? Like, What going on? And I'm like, Yeah, I'm just not putting poison in my body every day of the week anymore that I've just literally changed one thing and it's having a really big impact. So I'll just keep going.
What I've noticed was I didn't get that. What I noticed was my kids wanted to be around me more. They Oh, were more engaged. They sought me out and I noticed a difference because it wasn't quite like that before, which was a little bit of a slap in the face of, Oh, I don't think I was the best parent at that point, because clearly they were repelled by something subtly. But then when they started to really seek me out, I noticed this has to be sobriety.
That's so that's like the best reward, you know, like getting your family
It's
back,
a great reward.
even though, you know, they weren't far. But there would have been it sounds like walls up. There would be barriers. Barriers
Oh, absolutely.
to entry. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. So I know I absolutely know that there'll be someone listening to this going, Well, it sounds really easy,
No, it's
but
not.
I, but yeah, but I think it's going, I think it's going to be impossible. So what's, what is your advice to someone who is, you know, really looking at their relationship with alcohol, realizing they're in this blame shame drinking cycle, wants to get out? Not really sure how to do it. Terrified about sobriety.
It's not smartphone culture. That's the one thing that you have to be good with, that you have to be patient with a smartphone society. There's an app for everything. I mean, you can get a cab within minutes now. And that's amazing. That's not how sobriety works. It's not going to work in that timeframe. The first few weeks could be painful. You could have
withdrawal. That's okay. The long term is you are going to be better because there are periods of time that first six months a year I had emotions that were all over the place. Mm. So I think the thing is, if you're thinking of doing this, some expectations that the first few days, some pain, once you get through that you won't have that anymore, but you will have emotions all over the place. If you do and you feel like you're losing your mind, you're not.
This is normal and you're starting to feel things that you never have before. What is going to be great that the payoff is, is as time goes by, things get better and better, that you're able to handle things you never could think of handling before, that you have these superpowers that you'll be able to go to a restaurant or a bar or a social situation where you like. This is going to be tough because I've got a drink coming in at home and you have the superpower
of I'm free for this. I see these other people getting wasted. It's not going to be me and this feels awesome. You will have moments where you feel awesome that you have never felt in a different way and you'll realize there are tools that I now have that allow me to live a life better than when I had booze. You're going to think that booze is going to be something that you're white knuckle for the rest of your life and that you're taking something away. You are not
going to feel that way. You're going to feel better than you ever have in your life. And you have to trust me because there's no way of believing it upfront. But all of us who have long term sobriety really have this. So it must be true.
I could not agree more. And what I will say is I remember my first day of not drinking was easy, mainly because I was hung over and I had nothing to do except first stay in an air conditioned hotel room on the beachfront at Narrabeen and eat pizza for lunch. But the next few days were pretty tough. And then I have had really easy days and really, really tough days
ever since then. But when you feel like you are losing your mind and I understand what you mean by that, what I think is you actually get in your mind back because Yeah. you're not actually alcohol impacts our cognitive function. And so that's how your brain works. And so then your brain informs your feelings and our feelings inform our behavior. And everyone's brain is seeking pleasure. It's just what we do
with pleasure seekers. And so at some point alcohol is fun for most people, and then it just becomes this like really terrible cycle. But you will feel out of sorts because you're just not used to feeling your feelings because alcohol rewires everything and makes it all completely scattered and hazy.
And
So
numb,
those first first few weeks is you feel all weird, but that's actually how we are feeling beings, you know, And like we're human beings, not human doings. And so you it's just actually your body recalibrating to how we are supposed to experience life. And we and it is meant to be wild in the aisles and up and down. And it's not just this plateau, which I think alcohol can do for us Sometimes it can. It levels us out. It takes away that pain.
It temporarily distorts our function enough for us to not feel. And so when you're coming back to your self and you're not drinking alcohol, it is just the true human experience that you are having for the first time for some people in their entire adult lives. And it feels weird, but you do get used to it. And another thing that I wanted to add is that I agree sobriety is my superpower. I truly, truly believe that. But sobriety will not stop life happening.
of
And
course,
I feel like I need to mention this because everyone just wants a magic bullet and an easy ride, and that doesn't exist. And I think that when you understand that alcohol is not going to stop parents passing away,friends getting sick, terrible stuff happening, loss of job divorce, it's not going to stop those things happening. But what it will do, it will give you a clear mind and a whole heart so that you can actually deal with those really big life things effectively. And
efficiently. And that is this the superpower of sobriety. So it doesn't stop the bad stuff. The bad stuff will still come and happen, hopefully not all the time, but it's just the way life throws out. It's very, very unpredictable. Sobriety isn't going to stop that, but it's going to give you this like it's the keys to the kingdom, man. It really is.
to me, you learn tools in recovery. If you really get serious about this, those tools give you the solutions to get through those bad things. When my only solution was a glass of wine, a
Right.
glass of scotch, I lost a parent in recovery, had to deal with a stepfather that I hadn't dealt with in eight years through that whole period of time. And it was incredibly uncomfortable. And never once did a drink come into my mind. I didn't need to get through it. I knew that this is a short, acute period of time. This is awful. But I have the tools and I have a crew who are going to help carry me through it that care about me.
Yeah,
And that's what got you through. I never had that when I was drinking. I was a loner. Now who. I do it with other people now, and we can rely on each other when we have those bad days. You've talked about this in your podcast before of Don't Do This Alone. And
100%
I would say that's incredibly cool. Incredible advice
And you know a alone year alone is somewhere that you end up when you drink. But that's how I did a lot of towards the back end of my drinking career. I thought I, I found myself saying no to going out with friends and staying in and drinking a bottle of wine by myself. And it was mainly because I didn't want the friends to judge how much I was drinking, because going out and not having that much alcohol had not had become like, That's not
an option, right? So you do end up alone in the in those dark places. And when you commit to sobriety, it's it can be really challenging to tell someone that you've been in those dark places and have an accountability
partner. And my advice would be to start with start with a very, you know, someone near and dear who's just going to love you through it all anyway, like whether it's a bestie or a brother or a mom or this, you only need to tell one person and then try and find someone who's actually down the road, try and find someone who's done 365 plus days of sobriety so that they can be not just your accountability person, but your encourager to go, Hey, like I'm
still going. And this it. These are the compounded benefits of sobriety. So that's what I kind of encourage people to do. And then the other thing is, is just arm yourself with resources. And we're so lucky in 2023, there are so many podcasts. Look at us
yeah,
go, we're on opposite sides of the planet right now.
right.
Completely different timezones
Different
connecting
days you're
different
in the future.
days. I am in the future and the future is bright, my friend, you know, but connecting about sobriety, there are, there's so many books and I've written one of them called Last Drinks and there's you know, there's guidelines, there's online community forums there. There's even there's a place you can go where you don't you can actually be anonymous. It's not AA, but it's like an online anonymous type scenario where you there's just so many options.
Yes.
There's Reddit threads is everything, so you can immerse yourself in that knowledge. And the way the algorithm works is you just punch in hashtag, so be curious and all of a sudden your fate is everyone who is sober, curious, or pumping out content or, you know, advice or ways to go about being sober or managing
sober curious thoughts. And then you're immersed in your bubble and it makes it it's like this really beautiful bonus that that we have now that eight years ago, when you and I stopped drinking, there wasn't really any
No.
of that at all. For me. It was when I go to an alcoholic, it turns out I do. I think by definition I was, but I was like, I actually don't resonate with this definition. I'm something else, but I don't know what that is. But it at least gave me permission to explore sobriety for myself when I kind of did it on my own terms, which is why I've written the book, because I feel like there's a whole kind of group of people in that grey area of drinking
Yeah.
where they're like, I'm not this. I want to be this. How do I go about it? And I'm like, Well, this is what I did, and I haven't had a drink since. So it worked for me. It might work for you, it might not, but at least throw it up against the wall and see what sticks.
I would have wanted this book in March of 2014. As you're describing this, this is exactly the place I was in because I believe the alcoholic was some guy with a long beard and a trenchcoat and maybe boxers underneath or not. And somebody who's homeless. I didn't see it as somebody like me who had a job, had a house, had a family, never got in trouble with the law. So I must not be an
alcoholic. And I think you can reach a lot of people who have these problems because they can't stop when they control it and yet have some guidelines that can resonate with them. I sort of have a question for you about this, because your background to me is exactly in this type of thing. To me, you shouldn't have an alcohol issue. You were veejay on total request live. You're known in your country. You have a big radio show. You're somebody that if you go into Wikipedia, you can find your name.
Yeah, If you're on TV, you have to be somewhat attractive. And there's only a certain portion of the population who have a face for TV. So how could it be possible that Ms.. Compton had a problem with alcohol and felt the need to stop?
Yeah, well, b thank you for saying those lovely things. I think, Matt, what happened is I just didn't realize the bigness of all of the things that you mentioned I didn't realize were impacting me. So I think it was a classic case of I had these really big dreams as a young person, and then they came true and I had no coping skills on the other things that can come with attaining a level of fame or notoriety. So the big overarching one for me that I did not realize at the time was
imposter syndrome. So I got my job on MTV and I remember I went out to my the car park and I rang my dad and he was and I was bawling my eyes out and he was like, Oh, sweethea, I'm so sorry. Like, you know, there'll be another two of you. And I was like, No, Dad, I got the job. And he's like, Why are you crying? Like, I'm really overwhelmed. I don't like, I don't believe it. I don't believe I'm worthy of this thing I have had on a pedestal for my entire life to
Did
achieve.
you feel like you fooled them?
Yeah, I did. I felt like Ashton Kutcher was going to, like, knock on my car window and be like, I did I. I didn't believe it. I was like, how? How has this happened to me? And I think part of the appeal of me in 2004 when I got my job on MTV was I I did really come across as the girl next door, really passionate about music. I am a great communicator.And I think that I was really just taking a lot of diversity boxes for them at the time as well, to be
perfectly honest. But I got this big job and then all of a sudden my whole life changed overnight. I my salary doubled from where I was working at a radio station to being a Vega. It still was terrible money, but like at the time,
Yeah,
my salary doubled. I all of a sudden I'm on boats with Good Charlotte and interviewing Blink 182 and getting flown business class to Rome. Right. So I didn't have time to catch up. And so and the thing that is the currency in the MTV culture in, you know, the land of the rock star is alcohol. So all of a sudden I'm at work and there's beers at 4 p.m.. And so you just indulged. And I feel like it helped me feel okay in those rooms where otherwise I was standing there going, I am the
odd one out. Like I, I am always like when, when is the when are they going to figure it out? Like I'm just a regular human and I feel really, really insecure. So I think the drinking thing for me solved that internal problem of I don't feel like I deserve to be here, but I'm here, so I better make the most of it. And then by the time I was in my thirties, I'd been through a divorce and my my parents had gotten divorced and I went through a divorce. I it was just a lot of big life stuff
came at me. And then alcohol really just became my coping tool. So as much as And then the other thing that happened is when I was about 29, and so I'd been on MTV for about five years and I had this really kind of big moment where I was like, I don't feel connected to this brand anymore. And I actually resigned. And so resigning from your dream job is a big deal because everyone has their dream.
And then I actually had a dream, got the dream, and then I got to the other side of the dream and I'm like, What's the plan now? So there were a lot of just really big things in my life that happened that I had zero coping tools for. And so alcohol became my multi-tool of coping because it just dumbed everything down. It numbed everything. It helped me deal with that social anxiety before every live show, every event, every red carpet, every
international flight. And so it just solved that big internal problem that I had. And then what I kind of realized when I got out of MTV and then into radio is like all these problems following me around. Like it's not a TV problem. This is a me problem. So within that year of 2014, I really I realized that the drinking thing was heading in a really dangerous direction and there wasn't like a huge everyone's like, oh, what happened? Like nothing happened. I just realized that I didn't
want to keep doing this. And I just knew if nothing changes, nothing changes. And so I had to change something. Otherwise it was just not going to go in a great direction for me. And by 2014 I was exhausted. I had just been through some big life stuff that I was avoiding facing, and so I decided to just put on my big girl pants and face it. But that really is kind of the sober curiosity that I experienced in that year. So to answer your question, God, that was a long answer. It's
it was
because
a great answer.
it's because I yeah, I really suffered imposter syndrome, which for people who are like, what does that even mean? It's just it's not feeling my self-worth was zero. And that sounds ridiculous because of all the things that you said that I've done, which, like my face was on billboards, I had loads of money. I interview Jared Leto, like, but on paper my life was amazing. But internally I didn't believe it. And so that internal, I was living in crisis every
single day. I was waking up in crisis mode because I had to go and be this girl on the radio or on the TV, and I didn't believe who she was. So when I got sober my first month that I didn't drink, I read in my journal every day. And then in the second month I reread my journal and that's when I actually, for the first time in my adult life, had self-compassion and realized, Oh my God, there she is. She's so broken, she actually needs a
bit of help. And then I went and I spoke to a therapist and that was a really good decision as well, which is probably a bit of advice for other people
Yes,
too. Therapy is regardless of how that looks for you. Talk therapy is great, but there's there's lots of different therapy. But absolutely investigate those. You know, all of those options.
I went back and in doing research on you, I found a sizzle reel that you have on YouTube from. I wanted to see what you were like before recovery. you. And I'm watching you. This must be like, 13 years ago. And I'm like, She's really good at this,
things.
really good at this.
Thank
And
you
I can identify through your eyes of doing this and being with big bands and, and, you know, having Zac Efron have his arm around you or Fergie. And Fergie did something weird to you in this sizzle reel. B
Yeah, she
and
she was hitting on me harder than Zac Efron.
I was very clear, very clear and feeling like if you're in the room and Fergie's like touching you in a strange way, you must
Then.
feel a normal person would feel an equal. And I could see through your eyes, I'm the fraud here. What am I
Yeah.
doing? I don't belong. I not on your level
Yeah, 100%.
because I have felt that way.
Yeah. And I don't think you need to be on TV or, you know, being hit on by
Now
a rock star to. To feel out of sorts. And, you know, the other thing that I've realized now in sobriety, and again, another reason why I think I gravitated towards using alcohol as my coping mechanism is because I am actually
take
an introvert now.
me to
I have a job that requires me to be very extroverted and have lots of extroversion. And so when you're a good communicator, a happy on a stage in front of 50,000 people hosting an event have done it, I can be in these really big places and be okay. But to recharge I need alone time,
me
I need
to.
space. And I never realized that about myself. So what I would do is I would avoid being alone and I would just go to the next party or the next gig or the whatever. And my life was so busy and full. I never had a recharge for like 50 years. I did not recharge my own batteries, so I was just running on caffeine, alcohol and adrenaline for most of my adult
life. And it was inspired to I recognized like as much as I have a really big personality and I love connecting with people and communicating, I've been described as bubbly and she has called Spot write. I love my couch and my pajamas and a hot water bottle and nowhere to be. And and that is so surprising to people because they're like, Oh, but you like you're such a social butterfly. No, I'm not a social butterfly. I felt like I had to be a social butterfly to keep up the appearance that I
was okay. And so I think, you know, those really big paradigm shifts in sobriety are encouraging when when one slaps you in the face, like the day I kind of what happened was like, I've become an introvert, which is so confusing for people to understand about me. But then you get to have a conversation about what introversion and extroversion actually are. You know, I'm an extroverted introvert. I just I like being alone and I can tap into my job
and then get out of my face. And I'm really comfortable filling my cup up in the right way now, whereas I never realized how I needed to fill it up before.
I think some of the great radio and performers are introverts. Johnny Carson in the United States, King of Late Night was an introvert, and for me, I feel like I can come alive and have a way of talking to people that I feel like I have no business talking to because of this podcast. But when the microphones in front of me, I can be the person I always wanted to be. When I don't have a microphone in front of me, I can feel inept and I have to imagine 9 a.m. comes along and
the mikes go off. You must be gassed.
Yeah, it's some days I said this to my co-host the other day because we had, I don't know, just like a, just a bit of a silly show. I don't know if things went wrong as they do in live radio. And we had like one of our callers was just like went rogue and it was, you know, a few things that which make for great radio. But I said to him at 903 when we switched off the microphones, like, I feel like I've run a marathon today, like I am,
Yeah,
I'm flat out exhausted. And so was my job in breakfast. Radio is exhausting. It's also I get 3 hours of escapism and I think that in sobriety for me has, you know, it's been a really safe place for me. And I've had a lot of grief in the last two years of my life. So being able to actually come to work and kind of switch off is
like how I would use alcohol. I would use alcohol like after my write, my drive show in the afternoon, I would flick off the microphones and open a beer or a bottle of wine, whereas now, like we flick off the microphones and I'm like, I've had my bit of escapism and my my silliness, my fun, my, you know, being frivolous. We do serious stuff, too. But on the whole, like, we're entertainment based, we're like, we're not hard hitting news. And so we get to
have a bit of fun. And I get this little kind of tiny escape, which feels really nice And then I like to spend a bit of time by myself, not in people's faces or is
If I had my way, I'd probably just stay here. COVID was great for that. I had
Yeah,
to learn how to re-enter with COVID because I now work from home and it was easy for him to have the excuse of I can't go and be around people because there's a health emergency. And when things started to open up again and people took the masks off, it was terrifying. And I realized I have I to treat this as though I'm mourning what was in the past and comfortable. And I have
to work on reentering. And I almost have to be like I have to be in that panic situation of going to the store, taking off my mask and being around because I'm not used to what the norm was. That's how I did it as a process. But, you know, as an introvert, that needs to be alone. It was scary, safe for me in a bad way.
I think a lot of people would agree that the lockdowns and the COVID pandemic is horrendous as it was. What a timestamp in history it was. The the introverts dream like you,
Oh, yeah,
you, you like, Oh my God, I don't even have to be around. In fact, like the government's telling me to not be around people is kind of amazing.
I've just
But
been
I remember
a patriot.
when I was when the lockdowns lifted here we went back in and out and what have you. But I remember going to a cafe for the first time in ages and like with my mom and I just had forgotten how to order a coffee and go and take a seat because we're so used to those, you know, minimal cafes open for takeaway only and you just done takeaway and then go back home. You've had your hour of exercise. And I just really think to my mum, like, how do we do this again? What was so weird?
I felt like I was doing something wrong. I shouldn't be here this long. I shouldn't I'm be having a glass eye. It just it was that training of you get in, you get your stuff and you get out and you do it as fast as you can.
Yeah.
Are roots. The world will fall apart, and then you're expected to do it again. And like, how do I get out of that fear mode?
Yeah, it was that was, it was just an intense. I mean, yeah, I always am. I'm a COVID pandemic survivor. Yeah, Some people, some people aren't. You know, I'm one of the lucky ones. And I didn't didn't get it. As far as I know, I've done a bunch of rat tests or negative, but I've seen people be terribly, terribly ill Yeah. and for the greater good, you know, the greater good, we we stayed at home and we you know, we really passed up some of our freedoms for a blip on the radar.
Yeah, exactly. So I'm amazed that the people who got sober during the pandemic, I don't know if I could have done that. There were
well.
people I met who that's when they got sober. And I'm like, You are my hero.
I'm the
You
same.
have?
I am. But I've met schools. There's two schools of people that really stick out, and it's the people that got sober and the people that really leant into drinking during the pandemic, because you could go to a bottle shop and buy a bottle of whatever and you didn't have to be anywhere but on Zoom for a really long time.
Yeah, So it went, I think either way, I think there's a lot of people that came out of the pandemic with like a really big dependence on alcohol and that and and, you know, vice versa. And then I think there's some people that came out of the pandemic who were like, I need to drink, because all of this social anxieties I. flared up again in me and I don't know how to interact with
other humans anymore. Like it's so there's yeah, I think the result of that is so varied, I guess depending on people's situations and personality type probably plays a bit of a role. Psychology definitely. But I think regardless of how that played out in the pandemic, I know now that there is an upswing in sobriety and sober
curiosity. And I think, you know, again, as I said eight years ago, nothing there was there were none of these conversations, you know, and the idea being sober meant you had a hardcore drinking problem that was very shameful, that was very stigmatized. And I think now it's not at all I think now people can just go, Do you know what? I just don't want to drink. And people are a lot more receptive of that being a good enough reason to not drink alcohol.
Here's how I know that something has changed. Companies figured out they can make money off of us.
Uh huh.
There are so many dry wines and beers not like the suds in a bottle that they used to sell. Like really even hard liquors that have no alcohol. It sober bars, sober clubs. There is this culture around where you can be sober, maybe even just for health benefits. And there's so much to do. And it almost feels like the worm has turned towards when you're drinking to excess. It's sort of like if you're a smoker, not Mm quite. hmm. But I almost see like there's a pendulum swing that
way. And that was the thing that really lit up for me. If something has changed because companies figured we can make money off of this, and when companies Yeah, can make money off of it, you know that something is changing and probably changing for the good.
Absolutely. The the non-alcoholic drinks market is the it's the predictions between now and 2025 are just astronomical is billions and billions of dollars and companies big alcohol abhorrent. You know it's still it's still profiting the big alcohol Mm hmm.
brands but still they're pouring their money and their marketing instead of pink washing brands now which is creating, you know, those alcohol brands that women can drink to feel sophisticated by putting it in a pink bottle and giving them a free handbag, they pouring. So many dollars
I
into developing non-alcoholic brands. And I have zero problems with that. I'm not a non ALC drinker at all. I don't
mean,
it's
neither
just it's not my thing. But you know what? It solves a big dilemma for a lot of people. And for that I'm really grateful that there are options where people can mindfully drink, where they can, you know, decrease the amount of alcohol that they are in taking, which means they're going to be, you know, functional with a clear head for a little bit longer. And All of those steps are great little steps, steps that I never had access to. So I'm definitely grateful for those for people
who it works for. It just doesn't work for some people. And that's fine too.
I feel like so much has changed and changed for the better in sobriety. I don't feel like we've been sober that long. Like, it'll be next year. It'll be ten years for me, but it still feels like I'm new and
Yeah,
we're about in the same ballpark. I don't know if it feels that way to you, but it just feels like things changed so fast in that regards. In the positive and
Yeah.
I it's like whiplash.
Yeah It definitely I, I felt like a rebel when I stopped drinking. I didn't know. I didn't know a sober person. I don't think not that everybody I hung out with, you know, had an issue, but I just didn't know a sober person. And so I was the sober person that I knew. And within like two or three years, I had people reaching out going, Hey, you haven't had a drink for a while. How did you do that? Or like, you know, you you look at what's going on there. Like, you know what, what diet are you on?
Or I'm like, It's not a diet. It's just not drinking alcohol because I'm not putting poison in my body. But it did. It's it's shifting quickly and then, you know, it's that whole Malcolm Gladwell tipping point scenario. And we're
Yeah.
there now. And so now because I think big alcohol's onboard and there's products in it now, it's pushing the narrative. It's like it's not just solving a problem, it's it's pushing the narrative of not drinking alcohol is okay, and there's all of these other things you can drink instead.
I'm kind of curious, you being in media, what fields do you have? One of these types of things that feels more like your normal work? Is it this podcast on recovery or is it the Breakfast show? Because these are totally different topics, totally different things. So like what feels like this is my norm and this is my vocation.
is such a great question. This is the heart work for me. This is why I'm on this planet, is to have these conversations and help people get sober. That's why I'm here. So this is incredibly important to me. And I have a job on radio that I love and I'm really good at and that facilitates this. Also pays the bills, puts my kid in day care and does all of the things. And so I'm very lucky that I
love my day job to pieces. And I have an amazing team who if I ever say, Hey, I'm going to do a potty chat, then they're fine because they know how important this work is. And it's not to say that my breakfast show isn't important, but I'm not saving lives Mm in breakfast. hmm. Radio one Like I said, it's entertainment format. It's we're there for the lulls where background noise to people's crazy, chaotic, hectic mornings
right. And I don't I don't have that out of whack where I think that that is actually more important than what it is. It is what it is. And I love it and I'm great at it. And that's really good. But this for me, having conversations for more than 4 minutes without having to throw to a pink song is really satisfy lying for me. And I just know that this is helping people. But and the flipside is also that the radio show is also a great platform to have these, you know, mini versions of these
conversations. And I'm obviously talking about my book that I've written and, you know, promoting this podcast and we give away Non-alcohol holic brands on our show as prize packs, you know, which is again, back in the day, you could win a six pack of beer on a radio show and
Right.
we're like, Hey, we'r you some famous soda. So when you go to your friend's barbecue on the weekend, you don't have to drink alcohol, but you sold it for you sober. We can do, you know, stuff like that. So I feel lucky that I get to do both. I'm I guess because this is, you know, my passion. And the other thing is my job. It's hard. They're they're one in the same. And one can't exist without the other. I can't do this unless I have the radio job, you know?
Absolutely. But you are doing some good work doing Radio one because morning radio is somebody is inviting you into their job or driving to their job when they could be very miserable going to that job. And you might be the only person they know that's sober and you come off as happy and chipper. And if gosh, if Mars can do it and she must get up at an ungodly hour and is able to do this, maybe it's something I can do to
Yeah, I think so. I try not to overthink that. I get in, I get into the show and I hang out with my co-host and we both have so much experience in radio. Like, we we really just have a really good time and it's super fun. We Have had messages from people through Instagram mainly just saying, Hey, just so you know, I'm in a really dark place and your show is actually helping me get through it. And that's just so lovely to know that we do brighten up people's days occasionally. And, you know,
that is really, really nice. And if I can share my sobriety on that platform for somebody tuning in. Absolutely. And one thing I will say I do, when people find out that I'm on breakfast radio, the number one thing people will say to me is like, Oh my God, like, what time do you have to get up in the morning? And I'm like, For ten. For 10 a.m.. Like, I could never do that. I'm like, That's exactly why I am, because I do.
And I it's not I think it's not about my attitude isn't I can't because if you can't, then you're right. And it's the same with sobriety. If somebody tells me, Oh my God, I so wish I could be sober, I just can't drink, I can't stop drinking, I'm like, okay, you know, I believe people when they show me who they are. And if you tell me that you can't, I'm not going to try and convince you that you can. I'm just going to keep doing my thing, which is knowing that I
can. And hopefully then that might inspire you to realize that you actually can, but you've got to believe it for yourself. The same with the 410 alarm. It's like I could never get up at 410. I'm like, Yeah, but you might be able to if it's something that you love like I do because I love it, you know? And I don't, I don't complain. I get really tired, but I don't complain because I realize how much of an honor sitting in front of a microphone every single morning is. I know how I
know how special that job is. So that's why I love it so dearly.
I know how different the radio industry is in the United States. And those are special jobs to have. They don't grow on trees. There's not a lot of local radio in the United States anymore. It's syndicated nationally.
Yeah.
So I love that you can talk about the fact that you appreciate what you have. I'm not sure you'd be alive now if you didn't stop with what you were doing and being on radio and having to wake up early after almost ten years, you
Yeah,
you I think you would have been at a breaking point.
I've. I've thought about it. So in 20. So I quit drinking in 2015. And in October of that year, I lost my job, which is so hilarious. It's not funny, but like it is now. Because I think back and I remember thinking to myself when I was drinking, I was like, Man, I just I don't want to keep drinking because, like, I don't want to get to a point where I lose my job because I'm drinking so much. And then the irony is, is that I got sober and ten months later I lost my job. And Mm it wasn't hmm.
because I was sober, it was just because there was a management change and a shift in brand direction and, you know, there's casualties. And I was one of them. It is what it is. And at the time that was really horrible. That was one of the toughest things that I went through, but I went through it sober. I didn't have a drink. Even the day that I found out I didn't have a job anymore. And then I was unemployed for a period of time and that was
really hard. But I have, on reflection, thought to myself that that was the biggest blessing because if I didn't get sober that year and if I kept drinking and then had of lost my job, I don't know how I would have coped. I don't know which way I would have spiraled. But I, I don't think it would have been a good spiral. So the fact that I was sober when I lost my job was maybe the making of me and
my sobriety. And I don't like to think about what might have happened if I didn't get sober, because I think that you're right, Although I don't like I, I actually don't want to let my mind go there Mm hmm. because it is that scary. And then, you know, and then my son doesn't exist. And then there's so Mm many hmm. wonderful things that I have that are so precious to me that don't get to happen. So I am just so glad that I had my
last drink. I it was I've made some terrible decisions in life and I've made a couple of really good ones. And that was one of the really, really good ones.
We're coming around in that full circle back to the ripples in the pond you're talking now about. What are those ripples that might not have happened, that push off into the future? The fact that you have a child, your legacy will move on for decades beyond when you're gone. And that doesn't happen. And I'm for my kids because I'm a parent. I don't want them to go through what I did. But you've
I know I feel like parenting is so intense.
yeah,
Like, man, it is I, I have like, I'm already grieving. Like when Henry grows up or he goes up a shoe size, I'm like, Oh, like
me
hiking
too.
ways. I'm just an absolute mess in a in an amazing way. I love these kids so much. And you're right, I don't want him to ever feel any pain. But they're gonna because
Mm hmm.
they're humans. And I guess my role how I see it is to it's not even about shaping him because he is who he is, my Lord. But it is about equipping him to be a great decision maker and to want to contribute. That's the pressure. That's the only pressure I put on myself as a parent. It's like I want him to be able to make good decisions
and want to contribute. And I think if if those two qualities are there, I think everything else gets tied up because then you have compassion, you have empathy, you have kindness, you have patience, you have all of these things that come with those two qualities.
And you can be a great example. And God forbid he runs into problems, you at least can be an example.
Yeah. I mean, yeah. Watch this space. Men will say somedays I have parenting wins, a then other days I'm like, I'm really bad at this. This is too hard.
So the challenge for me, talking about hard things is being the lead on a podcast, and you're the lead on the podcast. So when do we end this thing? This try feels to like it's a good time to to wrap things up. you?
And I would anyone believe this is the first conversation we've ever had.
I have loved this conversation.
Me
I was
too.
so
We.
nervous going in like, she's a big Australian star. Who am
Oh.
I?
Oh, no, you are. You're amazing. And thank you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I just know that your stories are absolutely going to help people. So I do appreciate you. I'm going to let you wrap it up.
Okay, well, Maz, tell us how we can find you.
You can find me on Instagram, Ms.. Compton, or through my podcast, which is last week's pod. They're probably
How can
the
we
two
get the
main
book
as well. And the book is through my website. Ms.. Compton Dotcom. I keep it pretty, pretty easy.
Pretty
What
easy.
about you? Where can we find you? Mat
You can find me on Instagram at Sober Friends Pod on Facebook. At Sober Friends Pod. The website is sober friends pod dot com.
Amazing.
That's where you can find us. And you can find both of our podcasts. A that you find podcasts, it's anywhere and you should listen to both.
Thank you, my friend.
You're welcome. Ms.. We'll see everybody next week. Bye, everybody.
by.