Celebrating 3 years Sober together.

Colin (00:00:07): Hi. Rachel (00:00:07): Happy birthday. Colin (00:00:08): Thank you. Colin (00:00:09): Happy anniversary. Colin (00:00:12): Someone said it's birthday and not anniversary. Colin (00:00:15): Why do they say birthday and not anniversary? Rachel (00:00:17): Because they celebrate birthday night. Colin (00:00:20): Well, it's our anniversary. Rachel (00:00:21): I feel like you... Rachel (00:00:25): like I'm growing up at least in sobriety so I do feel like three years old about Colin (00:00:30): right now I guess you're right it makes more sense to have it be birthday I just Colin (00:00:34): misspoken with anniversary but I was like people say soberversary yeah soberversary Rachel (00:00:38): okay so it still works but yeah people will say like happy birthday but welcome to Colin (00:00:42): sober banter welcome to sober banter I'm three years sober Colin and I'm three Rachel (00:00:47): years with a few more hours sober Rachel Colin (00:00:51): There you go. Colin (00:00:52): Always getting that extra hour in on me. Rachel (00:00:54): Well, I liked that I used the comparison that we talk about how we do not judge in our sobriety. Rachel (00:01:03): And I think it's really cool that I had my last drink on the 21st. Rachel (00:01:08): You had your last drink on the 22nd. Rachel (00:01:10): But we both got the desire chip. Colin (00:01:13): A few last drinks on the 22nd. Rachel (00:01:15): We both got our desire chip on the 22nd. Rachel (00:01:18): And so we actually compromised. Rachel (00:01:20): And that's our sobriety date because that was when we said we weren't going to Rachel (00:01:26): drink for the next 24 hours. Rachel (00:01:28): So we go both ways. Rachel (00:01:29): So you can either do it the day of your last drink or you can do it the day that you get your chip. Rachel (00:01:33): Either way works. Colin (00:01:34): What I mean, is that something that's talked about in the sober community? Colin (00:01:38): Like what's more common? Colin (00:01:39): Because I always had the impression that Colin (00:01:42): your sobriety date is like the day you decided to quit drinking and walked in to Colin (00:01:49): rehab a church whatever program yeah self-will i think it's 50 50 to be honest i've Colin (00:01:55): heard both like last like this was my last drink but Rachel (00:01:59): I think it's again, Rachel (00:02:00): when you say makes sense, Colin (00:02:02): because what if someone had their last drink, Colin (00:02:04): but then went to a program a couple of days later and it's like, Colin (00:02:08): well, Colin (00:02:09): when is there actual sobriety date when they stopped drinking or when they found a Colin (00:02:13): program like a couple of days later? Rachel (00:02:15): I think it's when you kind of say like, Rachel (00:02:17): I'm committed to the like, Rachel (00:02:20): again, Rachel (00:02:20): whenever you take your desire chip or whenever you write down like in when I got my Rachel (00:02:26): big book, Rachel (00:02:26): I mean, Rachel (00:02:27): I wrote down my sobriety date. Colin (00:02:29): it was 11.22 so you wrote when you got your big book you went on yeah 22 not 21. Rachel (00:02:35): right okay okay because the day before i had no idea what a was i and i really i on Rachel (00:02:42): the 21st i had Rachel (00:02:44): I had no idea I was going to get sober. Rachel (00:02:47): You know, like I just didn't want to live. Rachel (00:02:48): I was like, yeah. Rachel (00:02:50): I mean, Rachel (00:02:50): obviously alcohol was a problem, Rachel (00:02:51): but at the time I didn't see, Rachel (00:02:54): I was like, Rachel (00:02:55): the problem is my mental health, Rachel (00:02:57): not the amount I'm drinking. Rachel (00:02:59): Right. Colin (00:02:59): Problem is I can't stop the party. Rachel (00:03:02): Like at that time. Rachel (00:03:04): But I think I was just so, I really thought I was going to get drove to the loony bin. Rachel (00:03:09): Yeah. Rachel (00:03:11): So the compromise of like just go to a 6 p.m. Rachel (00:03:15): meeting was like, Rachel (00:03:17): and you're sure you don't want to just take me to like, Rachel (00:03:20): you know, Rachel (00:03:20): 72-hour hold and... Colin (00:03:24): Shock treatment. Rachel (00:03:25): Yeah, I don't know. Rachel (00:03:28): So again, Rachel (00:03:28): it's like... Rachel (00:03:29): And that meeting was I heard what I needed to hear to be like, Rachel (00:03:34): there's a lot... Rachel (00:03:35): I have a lot of similarities to these people. Rachel (00:03:38): And I wasn't expecting... I didn't know... Rachel (00:03:41): What AA was like. Rachel (00:03:43): In my head I think. Rachel (00:03:44): I thought it was. Rachel (00:03:47): People like sitting in a circle. Rachel (00:03:49): All sad. Colin (00:03:51): I guess. Colin (00:03:51): Because I had never put much thought into AA. Colin (00:03:54): And I think. Colin (00:03:56): At the time, Colin (00:03:57): I thought it was kind of like those groups in the movie Fight Club, Colin (00:04:01): but he never goes to an AA meeting. Colin (00:04:03): He goes to like meetings where people have like cancer and they're going to die. Colin (00:04:08): So they're really dark and gloomy and stuff. Rachel (00:04:10): Yeah, that's what I figured. Rachel (00:04:11): I'm like, they're sitting there with their coffee all sad. Colin (00:04:13): And so that's what I assumed AA was, not realizing like nobody's necessarily dying in AA. Colin (00:04:20): Like in Fight Club, Colin (00:04:21): he's going to like these people that have diseases that are going to die and Colin (00:04:25): they're like mourning groups. Colin (00:04:27): This is completely different. Colin (00:04:30): But yeah, AA was a lot different. Colin (00:04:33): There's someone in one of the groups I go to now. Colin (00:04:35): Yeah. Colin (00:04:37): and he said how do you know where the meeting it was someone was he was giving Colin (00:04:41): directions to a meeting to someone in like an elevator it's in this big building Colin (00:04:46): it's like well how do you know where it is and he's like well just when you follow Colin (00:04:51): the laughter because i don't think people realize how much laughter is in aa it can Colin (00:04:57): be a really serious place but it can also be a really fun place oh yeah where the Colin (00:05:02): people are sharing and the Colin (00:05:05): the way everyone can relate, Colin (00:05:07): regardless of who you are, Colin (00:05:08): your background, Colin (00:05:09): your beliefs, Colin (00:05:10): you have that one thing in common and it is the, Colin (00:05:16): The things you would go to, the lengths you would go to to get drunk or to get what you need. Colin (00:05:21): Yeah. Colin (00:05:22): It's just so ridiculous. Colin (00:05:24): And you look at it now and you're like, that is so beyond silly and stupid that you just. Rachel (00:05:31): Like our cat running through the blinds right now. Rachel (00:05:34): Sorry. Rachel (00:05:34): That's what I was distracted by. Rachel (00:05:36): I'm like, you were doing great. Rachel (00:05:37): And Kit Kat is just ruining it. Rachel (00:05:39): I think the other thing. Rachel (00:05:41): the way that my grandma would describe it. Rachel (00:05:45): And again, Rachel (00:05:46): so this is definitely where the times have kind of shifted is if you saw a bunch of Rachel (00:05:51): people that don't necessarily look like they're in a, Rachel (00:05:56): like, Rachel (00:05:56): like a friend group, Rachel (00:05:57): but they're all smoking cigarettes next to each other. Rachel (00:06:00): That's how, you know, it's an AA meeting nearby. Rachel (00:06:02): Yeah. Colin (00:06:03): But I mean, see a sign that says foot doctor. Colin (00:06:05): That's how, you know, there's an AA meeting around the corner. Rachel (00:06:09): Some people are even not smoking that they're on the terrace and they're kind of. Colin (00:06:13): You see a group of people vaping that don't look like they'd be friends. Rachel (00:06:17): Like, but yeah, I was like at Dallas North. Rachel (00:06:18): There's not really no one really smokes out. Rachel (00:06:20): So I don't see any at least like maybe they do. Rachel (00:06:23): And I know Preston group. Rachel (00:06:24): I don't see anyone smoking outside. Colin (00:06:27): There's a few smokers at the one I go to in downtown. Colin (00:06:30): Yeah. Rachel (00:06:31): Yeah, those might just be homeless people, though. Colin (00:06:34): We've had a few homeless people in the meeting. Rachel (00:06:36): And you know what? Rachel (00:06:36): That's fine. Rachel (00:06:37): Like, Rachel (00:06:37): I mean, Rachel (00:06:37): as long as no one is rude or dangerous, Rachel (00:06:41): like maybe they'll hear what they need to hear because a lot of people who are Rachel (00:06:45): homeless do have a drug or drinking problem, Rachel (00:06:48): you know, Rachel (00:06:49): and it was. Rachel (00:06:51): I think that was another part of like. Rachel (00:06:57): When the day came of. Rachel (00:07:01): quitting drinking again there was nothing in my head that I thought drinking was my Rachel (00:07:07): problem it still wasn't even that day I wasn't like I have a problem with drinking Rachel (00:07:13): it again was all about like I just didn't really want to live anymore and at the Rachel (00:07:18): time I didn't know why I just knew I was very unhappy it wasn't until I started Rachel (00:07:25): working the steps that I realized it was Rachel (00:07:30): being able to not live with alcohol and not being able to live without it or maybe Rachel (00:07:34): it was through sharing at the meeting but you know it wasn't i wasn't immediately Rachel (00:07:39): like i'm an alcoholic i need to go to a meeting like it took just kind of the Rachel (00:07:47): guiding and again there was no pushing because i think if you would have pushed me Rachel (00:07:53): I would have probably fought back, Rachel (00:07:56): but no one, Rachel (00:07:57): all I was asked is to go to this meeting, Rachel (00:08:00): just be open-minded. Rachel (00:08:01): And I had agreed to it other than, you know, being drove to a hospital. Rachel (00:08:08): So, I mean. Colin (00:08:09): See, that's funny because I a hundred percent knew alcohol was the problem in this household. Colin (00:08:16): But I also thought it was the solution at the same time. Rachel (00:08:19): Yeah. Colin (00:08:20): So that was kind of the cycle I was in. Rachel (00:08:22): I mean, I think I kind of knew. Colin (00:08:23): Because I was like... Colin (00:08:25): I mean, Colin (00:08:25): there was one time I remember we were talking to your parents and they were trying Colin (00:08:29): to do some weird counseling with us. Colin (00:08:32): And yeah, I know. Rachel (00:08:33): My mom listens. Colin (00:08:34): Yeah, I know. Colin (00:08:35): And she might remember this. Colin (00:08:36): But as I think like her husband was talking to me, Colin (00:08:40): your mom was talking to you in different rooms because they could tell we were kind Colin (00:08:44): of having issues or problems. Colin (00:08:46): And in my head, Colin (00:08:47): I remember thinking, Colin (00:08:48): I just wanted to say out loud, Colin (00:08:49): be like, Colin (00:08:50): okay, Colin (00:08:50): we all know the problem's alcohol here, Colin (00:08:52): right? Colin (00:08:53): And I wanted to like look at everyone like, Colin (00:08:55): We all know, no one's addressing it, but we all know alcohol is the problem. Colin (00:08:59): We all know it. Colin (00:09:01): And I didn't say it, but I thought it. Colin (00:09:03): And so I knew for a while, Colin (00:09:05): like, Colin (00:09:05): yeah, Colin (00:09:06): alcohol is definitely the problem here because the days we didn't drink when we try Colin (00:09:11): to go on our stints and we make a day, Colin (00:09:14): two, Colin (00:09:14): three days. Colin (00:09:16): you know, we'd be fine. Colin (00:09:17): And you'd be like, oh, I feel great. Colin (00:09:19): And making dinner. Colin (00:09:20): And then by day three or four, it was like, wait, look how good we did. Colin (00:09:25): Let's treat ourselves. Colin (00:09:26): And then just back into the, you know, that cycle. Colin (00:09:32): All right. Rachel (00:09:36): All right. Rachel (00:09:36): Thank you for listening to Sober Banter. Rachel (00:09:38): See you later. Rachel (00:09:40): Bye.