Hey, viewers.
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends your sensibilities, you might want to skip this. Viewer discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids. Chris, Yes, would you say you are a very verbal person when you're in bed with someone.
I'm actually not.
I do a lot of talking outside of the bedroom, and that's where I feel like I.
Can shut up. Though I do like nonverbal things of like affirmation.
But I'm not like one of these people that like has like a list of things that I say when I'm engaged in the acts.
What about you, I would say, I am.
I like receiving encouragement and I like vocalizing when I enjoy things. Yeah, but I would say that I'm not like verbal, Like I think there's a lot there's like porn verbal and there's like casual verbal. Yeah, And I think some people think they've got to be like.
Porn verbal, yes, yeah, And I'm not into that yeah, because it feels performative.
I mean, for me, I'm like, oh, am I in my college impropit group again, like do I need to yes?
And what's our setting?
What's your intention? What's my intention for me? I'm like trying to do dramaturgy in my head that takes.
Me out of the space, and then I'm not into it because then I'm like, we're living that drama.
I mean, I'm pretty against I'm a loud mouth in all aspects of my life for you, and sex is truly no different good for you, which does bring us to the topic of today's episode. In sexual situations and spaces, it can often seem like silence and nonverbal communication are the most reliable way to let your partner know what you want. After all, if you speak up, you do risk ruining the mood or breaking the fantasy butt.
In today's episode, we're.
Going to teach you how to use the voice to have better and hotter hookups.
Welcome to Stiffy's Cruising Confessions.
I Am Gabe goin, I'm Chris Patterson rosso Each week weeks four, the sublime world of queer sex, cruising and relationship will be talking to queer folks of all kinds, ask them questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations.
A lot of us are discovering ourselves in cruising spaces.
This happened to me at this toilet stall in the library or the airport.
I feel like everybody's gonna fuck a little harder here.
Damn.
So I've been like the neighborhood flat and I took pride in that. I was so afraid but yet so intrigued.
And the more I gave him, the more he could take.
If you're having sex on Sniffy's, you already have a moral deficit, Gabe.
Yeah, have you ever heard about verbal porn?
Like like, yah, fuck me harder like that?
Like, what's no, this is a little bit different. It's like a subgenre. Yeah, okay, it's a little bit different.
So what it is.
It's audio tracks that are designed to take you to an erotic headspace, right, so like people do these recordings. It's almost like ASMR, but for like sex.
I was gonna say, it sounds like a like a horny podcast. Yeah, but if so this one, Yeah, yeah, welcome. Maybe you're listening to verbal porn right now.
So here's the thing. We have some examples. Do you want to hear a something?
Oh?
Absolutely, Are you kidding? Yeah?
These are by induced Priapism who puts these tracks on Patreon. So let's hear the first track. This is called happiness.
Spelled just sort of. Viewers called penis h A P P E N. I s, Oh what you're doing there? You a little masturbator? Are you masturbating?
Oh?
I couldn't sell because you see, happiness supposed to be fun. Wait, and you don almost like you're having fun.
Oh my god, I'm in my head about it.
If you're having fun, you'd smile.
Oh my god, I'm screaming it right now.
Just give me a little grin, the like.
Growishness, but then like the undertone of the happiness, my smile, happiness smile.
Bigger people put up like YouTube videos of them doing a hell on their own and you get like.
Figure there you go, Oh my god, I just want you to have a big dopey grin while you watch your porn while you touch yourself.
Kind it is kind Okay, that's enough of that.
I truly feel like I walked into the art gallery of my college's art departments and the gay guy that I've had a crush on for three years is like, Hey, I'm doing my senior thesis projects and yeah, and.
This is it.
It's it's queer soundscapes to get you hard. I am kind of obsessed. Also, this can't be easy to edit. No, Like I know, I've seen a lot of videos on porn streaming sites where people kind of egg you on, Like there's like the Popper training videos to like verbal daters. But this is really interesting because I don't think i've ever heard like just audio trucks.
This is like a mantra.
I would start my morning with smile, smile when you masturbate.
You know what.
And I would play that as like a morning mantra. I will not play it when I'm in my sexy mood.
No, yeah, you know I played before to like get in the mindset like hours later.
But it's like you gotta start your day, start your day with this.
Yeah, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm going to do that later exactly exactly see where smiling.
So this was effective? Yeah it was. And you can't tell but I am masturbating right now. Oh my god. Yeah it's wild. Okay, you want to hear another one?
Oh wow, yes, absolutely, yeah, this one is let porn entertain you.
Well, it has okay.
Hey they're masturbate or I heard you're having trouble falling in love with porn and I'm here to help you out. It is completely normal for porn addicts to lose interest in pornography from time to time. Normally it's your body signaling you to do other.
Things, like other than the monks chanting in the background. We both know they're changing chanting phography as.
You and so your only other option, of course, is to find a new appreciation for porn, one that truly compliments your porn addictive lifestyle.
First and foremost.
I need to sit back like a three B.
Yeah gets that I would have had a crush on in high school. Yeah, and then comes out years later, and when we hook up in our hotel events.
From wanting to be more addicted to porn, you're just taking your addiction way too seriously.
Oh my goodness, I feel like I'm getting verbally done. Yeah that was.
Well, that wasn't an experience as a sober person talk about your.
Triggered by this.
I was like, uh, should we be leaning into the addictions of events? You gotta babes. Yeah, you can't be calling in late because we're still jerking in.
Yeah, this has got to be like a very specific maybe like fetish, right, having somebody like like kind of enable you dom you into being like, oh, I'm like wow over porn.
That's that's my impression. Yeah, that's what good is. Right, let's go to the next track. I need to hear this next one. So the next track is called how I approach verbal Okay.
I just thought like I would teach you just how to verbal bate just a little bit better. If you can already hold a conversation while you masturbate, then you should be fine and honestly.
Love doing Probably then just started.
May not live in a place where you can, you know, be verbal when you masturbate. You may live with roommates or family, and that's completely fine. Maybe someday you'll afford your own apartment some day. This is so aspirational work I love. And so first of all, you're gonna need to masturbate. You're gonna need to touch yourself. Okay, that's
that feels very pleasurable. Yeah, do this by stroking your penis, looping it up and stroking it really fast, or if you finger your hole and digging around or you could play with your nipples, or you can use the massage or whatever you want to do. Just fucking masturbate, you know. And step simple too, of course, would be you gotta
open your mouth. Oh you know, just open your mouth, just let it slack, you know, just keep it open so open that I could go in there and now and I was like to have their mouth open with drool coming out on the perch to say some stupid ship around the verge, to say something that makes them really horny. So keeping a nice open jaw, nice open mouth is really fucking important for verbal then that's a good first step to learning how to talk while you
masturbate is actually moaning a lot. It really is no different than you know, somebody learning how to speak for the first time. It really is just like penis speech therapy.
Just moan a lot, you know where and does medicaid coverund come out and just moan.
That's that's a great first steps. Listen to the sound of your voice. Feel how good it feels to talk while you masturbate, To moan while you masturbate, really just enjoy how your voice sounds and how your voice feels. That's that's what most verbobaters get out of it, you know, and I'd say the next natural step is moan while your tongue's hanging out. You know, your tongue gets a lot of use throughout the day. It gets really worn out to particulate words and use it in different speech patterns.
And I can't very about dis muscles, so you know, relaxing it just sticking your tongue out while you really really pleasurable. You have to just stick it out and go like, you know, you can just really try that out, to just let it flop out of your mouth.
Oh what a journey. Yeah.
Yeah.
What I found interesting is that as he's breaking the steps down, I'm like, oh, I could do this.
Yeah? Is this the future of porn?
I love the idea of like porn on the go, like yes, Like I could see someone listening to this on the l train, Yes, and just not knowing and having like a little secret to themselves.
I don't know if we tried to make one of these, what do you think it would sound like?
You do it?
Why not? Do you want to take like the main role and I'll do the background sound. I'm much better at the background. You're better. I love switch off. I like the harmony. Let's find the harmony. Okay, you know what I mean. You picked the note and I'll find the harmony.
Okay, great, Okay, so let's give it. Let's give it a show. We kind of have to get close to the mics for this one. Ah, you woke up this morning this morning and realized you needed to run errands, which is an unpleasant thing to do.
But then.
You walk into your bathroom thinking that you don't have any toothpaste, only to find your boyfriend already woke up and bought some.
Doesn't that cut you hard? It's the poetry. Now.
Well, thank you to Induce Priapism for this wonderful prompt and auditory experience. Please check out his Patreon and Twitter using the handle induced Priapism.
When we come back Toomic Dash shops by to talk about what it means to be a verbal affectionate dom see you after the break.
All right, y'all, welcome back. I am thrilled to welcome our first guest.
Thoma Dash is a black, gay, left handed, near sighted, outspoken entrepreneur, writer, activists, and sex worker. As the CEO of fag Rag Magazine, he publishes Evocative Fine Art LGBTQI plus magazines, which have editions in New York City, Fire Island, and Provincetown. Toomic also serves as the executive director of the Black and Brown Equity Coalition, a nonprofit advocating for qtpo C equity on Fire Island.
And he also used to cut my hair. Yes, welcome topic. That's like a pint tumple threat.
Right there is wild business card just says doing the most.
You know what I do the most?
Yeah?
Too much? In New York fashion, right truly.
Tomic, I saw that you describe yourself as a verbal affectionate dom What does that mean to you exactly? And how do you think that sort of describes not just your voice, but like your sort of demeanor and energy with other folks? I, like I said, I default to being domb but when I do that, I also like to.
Shower my partner with affection like in between, right, So I let them know the things that I'm going to be getting into, like the things I might want to say or the things that I might want to do. I let them know that there is like a punishment aspect and there's a reward aspect.
Right, Okay, yeah, we're looking hole for immunity.
So it's like, you know, I like telling guys what to do. I like guys who can follow direction, and so if they can't follow direction, there's going to be some kind of like punishments involved. So when I approach that, I like to invite the guy over and typically start with punishments.
Right, Okay, yeah, a my co hosts perking up.
And the reason I like to do that is because, like one, I'll go through the things that, like, you know, punishment might intel in my intel slaps in the face, it might Intel spanking, it might Intel flogging, it might intel. You know, all these different kinds of things. And if you say that you're into these things, and we can start with the punishments, I like to start and let you let me know if that's too much. So I start light with all of them. Right. So I'll set
somebody down in front of me. Usually like guy gets into like a sub position, like on their knees in front of me, and I let them know. Okay, so we're gonna start with punishments. I'm gonna start light with everything, and you let me know if I can go harder. Right, And that's before we even start fucking. Sometimes my clothes are still on, and so I'll start and I'll be like, Okay, that's good. Can I do harder? Yes, I keep going harder.
And then when I get to like a threshold and I know that when we actually do start fucking, this is where I this is how hard I can go.
Oh wow, what a great in the heat of the moment, we're not like figuring that out.
Yeah, because if you let me, I will slap the shit out of you.
Yeah, okay, let me introduce you to my mom. You have a very similar ethos in life.
Yeah, yeah, and I and there have been times, like in the heat of the moment where I have like gone and slapped the ship as somebody. And I remember with one guy who was like a friend for a long time and like we ended up hooking up. This was after I cut his hair, not you, this is
my sister. We were fucking and I just like, damn well them and he like turned around like like a mad woman in a telenovela, just like that shock right, and he was like not my face and I was like, I am so sorry, like it just kind of you know, And that was like something in the moment where I was like, Okay, I need to check myself on that, you know. So yeah, having being able to start that way is super helpful. It's also hot.
It is It's like a very sexy way to sort of communicate what limits are, what is enjoyed and what is not, and I think there are ways to do that. Everybody's like, oh, do we really have to ask for people to consent? And I was like, yeah, you do, and it doesn't have to be like may I do this, may I do that. It's like you can kind of communicate very clearly about what's going to happen, make sure folks are okay with it, gauge where limits are, and
then start playing. Like that sounds like a really lovely and very hot way to engage in four play especially.
I was just going to say, it's like, it's really hot for play.
Also, some guys don't think that they're into something, but if you say you're going to start really lightly like, they try it and they're like, oh wait.
A little light bulb goes off.
Yeah wait a minute, Yeah, I feel like I'm going to start with playful slaps. Then guys are like, okay, yeah, I can try that and then before you know it, they're like, oh yeah, keep going, keep going. I'm like, okay, cool, we just unlocked a new level.
Yes, I'm really bad at the sex talk, but I would like to get better at that.
How do you suggest I start that?
There's two ways you could do that.
I think.
One way.
I feel like you just five more ways. While you were thinking about.
Yeah, I was gonna say one way you could be like in the mirror, yeah, before somebody broke in a you know, before somebody comes over, hype yourself up and just like practice it. I think another good way to do it is to hook up with somebody who is verbal. You know. One thing I really love to do is make guys repeat stuff after me, especially guys who like
aren't verbal. Yeah, and if they're like nervous about it, maybe I'll make them do it with their mouthful so the full words don't have to come out.
You're like, I'm helping, Yeah, of course. Yeah.
I really love making guys talk with their mouth Okay, okay, yeah, I love what right? And sometimes like guys are really kind of like timid about it, you know, like say something and be like, you know, even if it's easy like say thank you, you know, and they'll just kind of like look at me, and I'll be like say thank you, you know, until they do it, and then it's just like eventually they're like, Okay, this is what
we're doing, and then they get into it. So I think that's another way to like, you know, get like hook up with someone who is verbal yah and can like bring that out of you.
I'm curious, do you have sort of a persona that you take on when you are doming that is different than Tomic in real life that helps you kind of be less self conscious?
Yeah, I mean Tomic in real life is total like pussy, like serving pussy. Clarify that. Yeah, my persona is my daytime persona is very different than my in the bedroom persona. Like there is a code switch that happens for sure, And I don't know how that happened, you know, I don't I was into it for I got into sex work.
It may have come from just like watching porn and also like seeing the way like black tops are portrayed in porn and maybe me have feeling like there is an expectation for like the way I should show up and kind of like leaning into that and then I just maybe kind of like stuck with it and like ended up enjoying it. I don't I don't know how to you know, tell someone to how to switch into that into that mode, you know, because if you don't own it, it's very obvious.
Yeah, you know.
I saw this one interview with Jill Scott on The Breakfast Club and she was talking about how she's like such like a dominating woman, right, and she's like, you can't just be like a man who comes in and like tries to just like tries to tell me what She's like, if you can tell me what to do, you can tell me what to do, but if you cannot tell me what to do, you cannot tell me what to do.
And it's but yeah, such a It's like I'm like, you know that makes sense, Yeah, truck.
Yeah, Like it's not hot if like someone's coming in and like trying to like play this role and being like trying to be a dom it's like girl, yeah.
Right, And that's maybe the response I get. Okay, girl, I didn't know it was you taking off the blind hole.
Yeah, that's not saying don't try it, you know. I feel like there's always hopefully someone where you can like go into a space where you're comfortable with exploring things. Maybe it's not something that you should be trying with like a one off, you know, but if there's someone who like you, are regular with or comfortable with and they want to like try something new, then try that.
If you were going to tell me to do something, how would you tell me to do something?
What if I tell gable to do?
Okay, Oh, this will be interesting, this will be very interesting. All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna Jill Scott.
You.
I was like, if you can't tell me what to do, you can't tell me what to do.
But yeah, get on your fucking knees. Okay, yeah, okay, yeah would you? Yeah you just get you get a you add a fucking and you say it with vigor.
Yeah, it's like it ran, I have to own it. Yeah. Yeah, I can never fully commit, you know, but I meant to.
Okay for real.
Oh, these aren't my genes. I'm sorry, these aren't my genes. She's like to give them back time. I'm curious.
I feel like enthusiastic consent is a phrase Wese often these days, it's relatively new to describe something that people have been doing for a long time. How besides the sort of preamble for play that you told us about, do you think of incorporating enthusiastic consent both into your work and your personal life.
I always like to do check ins, you know, so like in the middle of things, Like even if we did kind of like agree to something in the beginning.
It's just like, how are we doing?
Like throwing that in there, it's like doesn't break character, it doesn't make anything weird. But just like doing that little check in, it's like very helpful, and it keeps everybody like feeling like, Okay, this is good. We can keep going, you know. Yeah, and yeah, I think that's what I think. It's just a good check in is always always very helpful.
I love that. That's a really good piece of advice.
I also like to check in during breaks, because that's when like the demeanor comes down.
You know.
It's like if we're like laying there and like taking a little break and like making out or something, it's just like, how are we doing? You know, is there anything you don't like? I also like to tell guys like, don't feel like you have to endure anything, Like the
point of this is for you to be experiencing pleasure too. Like, I know it feels like this is very me centric, but I want to make sure that you are having a good time because that is also what like gets me off, and we should both be having a good time here, right, Yeah, So I think that's another great reason for breaks, and that's another great time to make sure that everybody is consenting and having a good time.
And I think at the end of the day that still is a form of enthusiastic consent, right, regardless of the however enthusiastic the delivery sounds. You're taking the time to like check in during the act, take breaks, and like drop the persona.
I mean, this is something I love doing. Like just looking down at somebody where you're sucking them, being like you good? Is this cool?
And hearing the very excited yes is to me kind of a turn on, but it's also a great moment. So there are just so many places and ways that you can check in during sex, especially with like subdom play and like kind of like more physical play. I think those things are really important. And the fact that you have like a practice and a system. I think says a lot about how much care you put into it, for sure.
Yeah. Yeah, part of that can verbo veer towards being corny.
If you don't own it. Yeah. A couple of weeks ago, I went to a sex party and there's this one guy who was just kind of like yeah, fuck yeah fuck him, you know, and I'm just like.
Can you not please you know, that's the best way to clear a room.
Yeah, honestly, they should bring in that guy at three point fifty nine every bar.
Fuck true.
I was like, what are you dumb? Yeah, but I will say for I mean, I remember when I was editing porn.
I'd be going through the footage sometimes and I think when people run out of things to say but want to feel like they're like I'm putting my all into it, what you.
Get is just fuck fuck yeah fuck fuck yeah.
It's like just a series of funcks.
And I was like, we gotta we need to whip out a physaurus, baby, like we need un vocabulary. I need some Like it doesn't even feel like they're responding to what's happening. It just feels like they're going into sort of an automated It's like straightcorn like that.
Is like such a straightcorn thing to do. Like I feel like we don't do that as much in like gay porn, Like it's more authentic, it's more real and like when you can tell when it's not totally.
Well, Atomic, thank you so much for stopping by. It is really good to see your face.
Good to see you. Thank you for having me.
Of course, where can people find you?
I am at toomic T O M I K to the number two point oh p O I N T zero on everything.
On everything right across the world. Awesome. Well, thanks so much for coming in. We love that consistency.
And when we come back, we are going to be talking with a very notable and very sexy Daddy is going to teach us about a new sex practice that will help you better communicate with yourself.
Oh god, what is that like?
On exposure?
Welcome back our final guest.
Deale Corpino found his confessional voice at Queer Underground Literary Salons, where he first started reading his salacious writing about his youth spent as an object of lawe. His debut novel, Bonds and Boundaries was just published, and it's a collection of short stories which explore conflicts between chosen and biological families, sex work interactions, and the afterlives queer people must often
build over displacement and loss. For decades, Dale has kept meticulous records of his own sexual history in sex journals, some of which inspired the stories in Bonds and Boundaries. Welcome, Dale Corvino.
How are you doing.
I'm doing great. Thanks for having me over.
Talk to us a little bit about the book.
I'm so excited about this book. It came out in October.
It's a collection of short stories which I've been working on over a decade, and there's a level of auto fiction in all of them, Like they're pulled from my real experiences. I'm processing my childhood trauma as a queer gen xer. I'm processing my sex work interactions, the loss that you experienced inevitably when you get to be somebody my age, like processing the grief of those losses. So like,
that's what I think of as afterlives. The middle section is actually all sex work interactions and characters and scenarios, and that's those are all pulled directly from my sex work diaries because I was like a by the hour hustler in the early two thousands, and.
I made a fabulous living.
So I started journaling diary keeping just to keep sane through it all and also like to keep an account of what I was picking up, like learning.
I love this idea of taking Jordan winters and writing them to sort of stories. I kind of wish that I had done that. I'm currently writing my book and I kind of I have forgotten so much, but I love this.
I think it's just really really powerful work.
I wanted a depiction of a sex worker that was like a little more real to my experience because a lot of the depictions in lit are like damaged or drug addicted or like seeking needing redemption.
You were like, on my journal, this is me.
And all of those things can be true, but it was not my experience. So I'm just trying to like bring a different representation, like for me, honestly by that our sex work was my redemption, Like it really helped me to understand my place in the world.
Strangely enough, No.
I love that you've printed out some of your sex journals.
I sure have.
Yeah, I mean, like I just wrote one from I went on this six city book tour and as a matter of fact, I had a Sniffy's enabled hookup in five of those six.
Would you look at that's a great ratio? Yeah, very that's very good.
And one one I r L encounter which happened at a bar, which was like a cute throwback right, so if you want, I can read you.
Love to hear this?
Yeah?
Please?
This was super last minute. I was invited by a close friend to participate in this sex worker festival and it was organized by sex workers who had figured it all out like the week before. They screened an amazing documentary and some really strong short films in progress. I was invited to read in the literary program set in a somewhat grimy but charming theater today on Town. When I got there, I said, this place smells like cheetos and weed, and one of the organizers said, welcome to Tucson.
After the festival, I started chatting with this guy on Sniffy's Hello, which is Matt based, so you know it appeals to my travel logistics oriented mind. I was chatting with this solidly built Mexican stud whose position relative to mine was close but ever changing. Turned out he worked in a nearby body shop and was running errands. He was discreet with the photos he shared, which I'm usually not about, but the ones he did share were enticing.
One photo of a thick, purplish bushy cock, a tight, hairy Torso I got him to come over, and he wouldn't let me put it in my mouth. But we got on the bed, pulled down our pants, pulled up our shirts, and stroked each other's cocks while looking intently into each other's eyes, his brown and glassy like agot. He wanted more, and I told him I'd be back soon, But I'm not even sure that's true.
The way we say that, yeah, no, I'll be back, I probably yeah, I'm never where else can you go?
I'm not.
I also love the idea of a discreet guy being like, putting my dick in your mouth is perhaps too intimate, but sitting next to you and masturbating and looking at you is not.
It was strangely more intimate than like the standard procedures.
Totally, yeah, for sure. How many of these sex journals do you have?
Oh gosh, okay, so can we look for for decades? This is These are the tranporium reports, So for decades like that's that's probably a full decade of travel sex Travel Sex Diaries.
There's pictures, Yeah.
There's pictures.
There are screen shots, most of those.
That really actually that whole thing tracks from like Craigslist hook ups, Craigslist, M for M hook us to the house and in all these different US cities and amazing. The way it got the the way I got started with that is I have this friend he was like one day I ran into him and he was like, so, how's the Tramporium?
And I was like, what is that?
And he was like, you know, the Tramporium. It's like the sphere of trampiness that you go travels with you where we go. And I was like, whoa, that's intense. So I decided that I was going to write the sex Diaries as reports to the Tramporium, which I this is I kind of defined as a kind of quasi governmental body that overseas.
The sexual system came out this great. So they're written as like official reports.
Oh my god, this is I love this.
You you write on page eight, this report is submitted to the Tramporium in hopes of its acceptance into the record. Everything recounted here is one hundred percent unembellished truth down.
I love it.
I love.
No fictive memories here, bitch, I remember that dick with great detail.
Yeah, I mean I was really holding myself accountable to no embellishments.
Yeah, I like that. Do you feel obligated to do that more with your sex journals than with your writing.
In the book.
There are definitely embellishments. There are things that didn't happen. There are like fictional departures from a baseline of truth. Some of the stories are like almost happened verbatim, And I think that's the freedom of fiction. But I like having, like, at least my processes. I'm kind of grounded in my diary keeping, which I think, whether it's sex writing or other writing, is like, at least for me, it's a
level of accountability. I used to try to write things like when I went through college, I used to try to write my way into the person that I thought I.
Should be, or like that academia expected me to be.
And like, at least when I started writing sex tires, I was like, no, this is my voice, so like it kind of redeemed writing for me, because up until then I was a pretty fucking pretentious writer.
It was the same thing with me when I wrote my first stand up set, or tried to it's horrible. I was like, oh, I should emulate this person. I should be like this person that I like. And then you get upstate on stage and you try to read those words or remember those words and make it sound like it's you, and it's not. It feels like a a simulation of something else that's that's not quite ringing.
And so I think, you know, when you give up the pretense, you're like, this is me and it's kind of gross sometimes, but sometimes I'm really cute and you just like embrace all the messier parts what comes out, I've realized, And I think having an immediate audience there to affirm is much easier than you know, publishing and then going around the country and figuring out how people
feel about it. But it's great for in the moment you could just be like, oh, I said this thing that I was not prepared to say I thought would be oversharing, too confessional, a little messy, and it goes great. So it's finding your voice is kind of just like letting go of every reference and expectation and.
Just be exactly yeah, just using your voice.
I'm imagining some of our audience might be curious if you had any tips for starting your own sex journal, how would you recommend folks go about it if they're interested.
I mean, I would definitely say start out with the assumption, with the with the baseline assumption. That's for you and you alone, right, whatever that means to you. And then also I think it's I think it's kind of like maybe the hardest thing to describe sex in a way
that's compelling. So if I'm gonna just like say, you know, you don't know where to start, I would say, like read Straight to Hell's Straight to Hell was this series of like zines which was run by this guy Boyd McDonald, who I think started in the seventies and it was
later Billy Miller who took it over. He had a very distinct voice for describing sexual encounters, and it was like people would write in like, you know this happened to me at this toilet stall, here in this in the library, or the airport, or you know, I have this, and he, you know, he had a strong editorial hand and he would always like finesse the sexual descriptions in a very particular way, Like I remember, like he always used to say, like things like he sniffed of my balls.
He sniffed of my musket ball, all of this.
Yeah, so deal, Before we let you go, I did want to ask. We've talked a little bit about the impact journaling has had on you being able to look back and sort of track moments in history. But I'm curious now that you had a chance to look back, incorporate some of those journals into your work, publish some of them online, what do you think journaling throughout these different phases of your life, whether sporadically or consistently, has kind of done for you and both your personal and sex life.
The way I was trying to help people understand what it was they wanted, I think journaling helped me understand what I want right, so, like all of us are figuring it out. It's like a hell we are. It's like an ongoing process. So if you start journaling, I think you will find that it helped to figure out what you really want.
Our last guesstomic is a sex worker who describes himself as a verbal affectionate dom And you were a sex worker too. Yeah, I'm curious how did you sort of approach the dominant persona. Did you feel that it was something separate than you, like a different voice, a different vibe, or was it sort of woven into who you were day to day outside of sex work.
I think it was definitely being a dom verbal top from either Brooklyn or Long Island in Italian. My worker name was Dominic, so it was like in the name, Oh there you go, that's built in the it's kind of built in and even now, like I fulfill that role for a lot of adorable young man on the apps and on the platforms, and I'm not complaining.
Yeah, no, great person, not at all.
And one of my favorite catchphrases which I find I say a lot is get in there.
Yeah, and I also where to wear. Yeah, I'm very curious. Get in there, Get in there, get in there. Yeah, we're not just penetrating. I'm sniff this is like, Yeah, you.
Know, there's a lot of Dad's son role play. Are you going to service Dad the way he likes it? Get that mouth to work, boy?
Okay, Yeah, these are classics.
I love that.
All right, Dale, thank you so much for coming in and sharing your journals with us. It's been absolutely a pleasure.
It's a blessed. Where can people find you?
I am, my name is my name Dale Corvino. It's I'm only one apparently like and you can find me on Instagram, you can find me on Facebook, you can find I have a website of my name, Dale Corvino dot com. And the memoirs coming out from CNR Press in September kept Boy in the Afterlife.
Amazing, so keep your eyes peeled for that. We we did so much this episode. We did a lot. I'm really a jam packed episode. I'm proud of. We're really feeding the girls today. We are feeding the girls.
I had never heard the verbal porn audio track no, but I'm definitely gonna check it out.
I'm so interested.
Thank you to induce Prietism for opening the gate into a new genre of porn I did not know about.
And then we had Tomic, oh yeah, who was so great, so great, And then we ended with Dale, who was fantastic, which was really really inspiring. It it was like, oh, maybe I should be writing more, especially since I'm writing my own book.
I'm going to start putting pin to paper.
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