Hey, viewers, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends your sensibilities, you might want to skip this. Viewer discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids.
Gabe, it's time for Cruising Confession. Now, I'm going to ask you this age old question. Are you a top or bottom?
I don't see how that's any of your business. No, I'm kidding. It depends on the day, in my mood and the partner.
Okay, Yeah, I mean I think I lean maybe more toward topping from you. Yeah, I got I'm a tums girly. My stomach is like it's the ibs. Yeah, it's the ibs for me. No, it's not even that bad. I just like I have a harder time bottoming, I think, and it's something I've learned through life, and I try to keep an even keel. But yeah, sometimes I'm not topping or bottoming. Sometimes I'll do something else entirely. Yeah, how much?
Like, Oh that's a good question. I am like nine.
Percent top okay, but I will say currently I'm in my bottom era.
Oh my god, we found christ time. I'm so excited for you. This is great, this is spectacular.
It's been fantastic, I will say, because I think it was like you, I really struggled to find that balance in like stemic issues, and I think I've got something that works really well. So like I'm more confident in my bottom. Meaning now I have another question for you. Oh, okay, have you heard of sides? I have? Okay, I first heard about it online.
My understanding is that sides are people who prefer non penetrative sex. Yeah, which is like it's my understanding as well. Right, Yeah, it's like that's a mood everybody's in. Sometimes that's an option on the UH on the catering menu, if you will, at the buffet of gay sex. It's interesting to me too, that side is sort of like developing as this identity.
I didn't understand the necessity for it at first.
I was like, you always have non penetrative sex, you can always just be like I'm into oral, I'm into masturbating, whatever.
Why do we have to like label it totally?
Yeah, So like I get it, but I think because people are always asking the topper bottom question, it does sort of necessitate this like alternative or this other like category of how a person prefers to engage with their sexual partners.
Yeah, so I get it. I get it.
But I also feel like in every situation, in every person I meet, I'm not always feeling topper bottom vibes from them, Like I don't I want to be intimate with you sexually, but I don't. Necessarily the penetration is not the part that I'm really that interested in.
No, I do know what you mean.
It's like sometimes I don't I find someone really hot, but I don't want to fuck.
Yeah, I just want to like get naked and roll around exactly see where that goes, and like maybe later we can get there.
But like, I just want to be naked with you. Oh, that's so sweet. Thank you.
I've been waiting for you to ask for so long. Well, in case you had guessed. In today's episodes, we are talking about all things sides, and we're inviting the Messiah of masturbation bait, Banded XCEL, who stops by to chat about why he identifies as a side and what led him to create the Order of the bb XL and nationwide Network for Masturbators of Color. Welcome to Stiffy's Cruising Confessions. I am Gabe Gone, I'm.
Chris Patterson Rosso. Each week, Week's More the sublime world of queer sex, cruising and relationship will.
Be talking to queer folks of all kinds. Ask them questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations.
A lot of us are discovering ourselves in cruising spaces. This happened to me at this toilet stall, in the library or the airport. I feel like everybody's gonna fuck a little harder here.
Damn.
So I've been like the neighborhood flat and I took pride in that. I was so afraid but yet so intrigued. And the more I gave him, the more he could take.
If you're having sex on Sniffy's, you already have a moral deficit.
Our guest this week is a legend in the making.
Bait Banded Xcel is a groundbreaking hip hop artist, content creator, and its self proclaimed messiah of masturbation.
He's also the CEO and founder of the Order of the BBXL, Babros and International Network for Masturbators of Color, which you can find at bbxlbabros dot com. His debut single, beat that Dick Up has become an anthem in the beater community. His album Chronicles of a Bat is in the works now. You can find this adult content on OnlyFans and just for fans at bait Bandit XL.
Welcome to cruising Defessions bait Banded XCEL. How you doing, what's going on? You're feeling welcome. Do you remember getting any messages about masturbation from your parents?
Ooh, so my sex talk at the house was it was corny as hell. Man at the time. I had my stepfather. He told me and my brother at the same time. Oh okay, and me and my brother, you know what I'm saying, Like, you know, we had that talk, but it was it was just weird. It didn't give me much information. Okay. I think he wanted it that way.
Okay, Yeah, I was like, damn, at least you got one. We didn't get one at all.
I didn't get one at all.
My mom ordered a book and my brother and I opened this back and it was like a book about what's happening to my body in sex?
And like that was the talk that's wild. Yeah, at least you've got literature that I grew up in Florida.
Man, Like sex education in Florida was like, these are condoms you will die if you don't use. We're done right, Like it was wild. I do remember the growing up. I experimented with masturbation, like once I hit puberty, and I would obviously masturbate in the mornings, like I would masturbate and then shower, and my parents realized that I was spending too long, so they would just.
Turn off the hot water on me.
It was so rude. I was like this anti.
Masturbation campaign to stop.
I'm like it was wild.
How about you?
Did you ever experience anything like that where you kind of had to like hide at first while like your body and stuff.
I definitely had to hide some things. I remember when I first got caught and I lot my ass off about what it was too. I did the shower thing, and I also would take long because you know, after you shoot your night everywhere, you know you gotta wash. So so once I figured like you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna start doing this in the bed. I wouldn't go to bathroom the morning, I had a rag
I would just use, and I used it and used it. Okay, So one day I came home and my mother was in my mother fucking room cleaning it and she was underneath the bed, and as soon as I walked in, she was like, what's this? And so I told her I was being lazy and I didn't want to get up to get t ship about blowing my nose on it.
You're blowing something, yeah, so big Bendy. We've talked a little bit about sort of, you know, growing up and learning about your body and masturbation, but I'm curious, at what point did you start to think about your sexuality and other people and sexual experiences with other folks.
I knew that at a younger age, like I was attracted to both men and women, but I definitely at that time didn't know like what gay and bisexual any of that shit was, you know what I'm saying. I just knew that I like both, you know, and I don't even know that there would you know what people's opinions about that will be? And at what point into your life did you encounter the term side? So that's
new for me. You know what I'm saying because I just knew that there were people who consider themselves either solo sexual or they just only you know, did mutual masturbation and or sex. You know, that was it. That's not really a name or nothing like that for it. So it's new to me. I guess that just has to be a name for you know everything. Yeah, what is it being aside mean to you? I think for me, being a side is specifically being into everything except for penetration.
You know, as tops they love to penetrate, bottoms love to be penetrated, verse they love it both ways. Sides they just simply want to engage in everything else except for penetration. I think it's really simple, but unfortunately people do make it complicated for no reason.
Truly, And just like you can be a top one day bottom another, like maybe you're your side for the week. I did also want to try to unpack a lot of the conversation that's happening online surrounding sides. What are some of the judgments that you see, not just when it comes to size, but like Baiter's queer folks engaging in non penetrative sex and naming it.
Yeah, man, we get the whole childish thing a lot, you know, what the hell is aside people, I think that everybody knows what that is. But people have just taken this you know, fake outrage way too far and try to, you know, draft up these tweets online to bash the Bay community. Like I said, I just I don't get it, you know, I think that, Well, what I can say is, I'll tell you a short story.
One time I had a Bay party that was like a pregame to a sex party linked up with you know, a friend from the community who was hosting the sex party that started like midnight. So I was like, Yo'll let me host a bag party at the spot from like ten to midnight. So we got to midnight, the second party started, but the betas was still there and
the whole circle. So a couple of bottoms came in and saw like all the betas like standing in circles, and they just was you know, circling the room trying to sendify signals saying something, and and the betas was just doing the damn thing, and two of them got
pissed off and left, you know. So what I think it is is some people just can't fathom because of the limit of their own sexual experiences, that two people can only want mutual masturbation from each other, you know, And it's about the experiences and the and the the way they feel that make them desire something like that. So you would never understand, you know, you got to be open to it. So fuck all that shit.
Man like you mentioned, we've always had terminology to describe acts besides topping or bottoming, right, mutual masturbation, oral, It's like there's many, Yeah, So it's like, I think we've always known that there are options outside of this, But yeah, I think the itself is sort of news, sort of identifying a community or a group of people. And I think, you know, just to I'm curious about your understanding because my take on what I've heard and read is that
it seems like not all sides are against anals. Some might be more into oral or mutual masturbation than anal, Some might have penetrative sex occasionally. So it seems like kind of a fluid word. Do you have the same kind of understanding or viewpoint on it?
It is fluid, Honestly. You can go from talking about people who identify as sides versus those who identify as a beta, you know, those who like the act of masturbation with a solo, mutual, large group. Because you don't have to be a side to enjoy being a beta. You can also be a top, bottom, whatever, So I'll believe that. So it's like man sexuality in itself is
just a spectrum. But I guess we just have to have these certain labels so another person can know what you are into and what you're not into.
Yeah, so let's actually talk a little bit about the baiting community. I think for a lot of people out there, maybe the pandemic was the first time they might have heard this term or kind of seen like a baiting zoom room, right. I think a lot of the sort of safety precautions we had to take meant that masturbation, either like in front of somebody or being shared digitally was sort of like one of the few ways we could be intimate with people.
We were living with at the time.
So I'm curious, did you also discover the baiting community around this time or was this something that you've been involved with or saw earlier.
I didn't see large zoom baits until the pandemic. Now, prior to that, I remember chat wounds on Yahoo Messenger. I remember ouvuvu. Yes, I had OVU when I first got my first apartment alone. You know, as a beta, getting your first apartment alone. It's over, bro, every room, listen, every surface, every if I can get up there, I'm up there. I'm doing it. Okay. So I discovered uvo around that time, so I was having like one on one, but like to the point where they were like fifty
plus guys in a zoom like. That didn't start happening for me until the pandemics.
Talk to me about your community, your online community which is now international.
Yeah, BBXLVA bros. It came out of the pandemic and came out of I actually listen. I was not the first person, of course, to ever host zoom baits, but I developed the pattern. I was consistent with putting them out there. I think I had like a schedule I used to do like Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays during the pandemic,
and then it just grew and grew and grew. So it got exhausting because you know, we would be on their baiting and then somebody would have the link and get on there and do something stupid or whatever you know, start screaming, playing loud music, doing whatever you know. So we had to become more secretive about the process. So emailing everybody became so much I created a digital group and then it progressed until becoming an organization. Bbxl BA Bros. Yeah, yeah,
that's amazing. Everyone's there people who identify as all sexual positions, but they know that they would love to have a space that they can celebrate being the beta.
When did you shift from the online sort of zoombait sessions into in person events.
When bbxl BA Bros. Began to get bigger wet, there was a point we wanted to stop and cap at two hundred members, and then even that wasn't enough because of demand was still coming in twenty twenty one. So everyone would always in the group chat talk about how they really wish like the pandemic would harry up and be over so we can all try to meet each other.
Because inside this group we have been going for at least a year now, people have built friendships, people have built bonds, and so once the pandemics start clearing up just enough for people to come outside and start going to public places again, we jumped right on and start having parties. Some of our parties were in hotels first, and then we moved on to like getting airbnbs and and different venues like that. So that's amazing. That's amazing.
I think we all know the spaces for black and brown people are very important, but I'm wondering why you felt that it was specifically important to create a bait space that was focused on your community.
Especially in my experience, there are more black and brown men who have not been able to open up their sexuality in certain ways due to many reasons, most of all family, you know, religion, things like that. So to create a space, you know, bb Excel Bate Bros. For those people, you know, those men to come in and just you know, so to speak, like their hair down and just be themselves in their bait energy like that was that was very important to me.
Have you like received messages from people who have been like, thank you so much for creating the space really needed.
How has that impacted you and how does that felt To get those messages? They mean a lot and it lets me know that all the work I put in to really make bb ex La Bros. What it is Today's worth it. Man, I lost the like a lot of nights asleep, you know, putting things together, as I said, you know, designing all you know, all the flyers. I designed our website from scratch, you know, which is really nice. Thank you so much. Appreciate that. You know, do you
watch mostly baiting porn? No, There's a wide variety of things that get my dick card. Okay, listen, I have a lot of things that you know that that I love to see. I'd love to see the bookmarks. What are some of the key all right, all right, all right, so I watched I like, first of all, exhibitionist, you know, public porn. All right, I love to see. I love to watch some hardcore fuckings. Sometimes I do watch women as well sometimes, but I only watch like videos where
they make themselves squirt. You know, that's kind of interesting squirting. Yeah. Oh, I watch videos of guys, you know, doing oral sex and women until they squirt in their face. That turns me on. I'd love to see, you know, the bottoms with the dildos and the fucking machines like that's yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fuck machines are a whole other level to set up involved in having to execute that alone.
The investment truly.
Yes, And also do you get a custom made does somebody make it for it? It's wild, but fuck machines are Yeah, that's a next level expert pro move.
It's a wide variety of things that turn me on.
I'm curious how much of your day would you say it involves baiting? How much time do you usually spend on it? You know, just creating content or for self pleasure?
Oh that's well, I'm gonna edge your mostly, you know, and that is something I've grown into and it works better for me, especially with creating content every week or you know, just trying to make sure I got a good nutshot for those who subscribe. You know, people pay their money. They want to see, you know, you got to give them what they want to see. But I do have boundaries about that as well. But you know, working from home, for me, I can bait whenever, you
know what I'm saying, whenever I'm feeling it. I just gauge my day. Sometimes I take thirty minutes and take a smoke break and stroke, you know, then I'll you know, get back to my work, you know whatever for another hour. So take another break, do it again. So if I ain't got nothing to do. Sometimes, you know, I wake up with the expectation like let me set my my you know, morning up, so I can go ahead and get a good bait in, you know for the first
half of day, especially like on a Saturday. That's all we call it, Saturday bait community, you know, a good day to just get comfortable and beat your day.
A lot of the contents I watch on Twitter is etching, and I'm really fascinated by it, and I try myself to do it, but like I just can never sustain.
So you got to practice, you gotta know, Like how I got there is learning what my pressure points were, where they wear all my dick, what made me more sensitive. And I tried to, like just through practice come up with a combination of like moves that I could do that are pleasurable but don't exactly take me, you know. And then I started testing myself like, oh my edge
right until I feel it. And then sometimes I will go almost a little too far and just like you know, not just a little bit, but exactly the whole thing. You know, That's just how you get better at it, honestly for me, So I just have to practice more. Just practice more, you gotta. But you gotta be patient, you know what I'm saying, Like, you gotta put the time in. You can't like you know, you can't rush it, bro y'all gotta take some time. I've done it. I've
edged through a whole football game before. My god, absolutely, how long are those? Sorry?
That's literally.
Oh man, I like reacting And I was like, wait, I don't know. It depends on the game, if they're going to ot, if they call a lot of timeouts. So what are we talking? Bassline? Alright, so baseline, like for me, my personal baseline. I mean sometimes I go between on average thirty to forty five minutes of edging, you know, and like that's just one edging session in
the day for me. I like the edge because I like to feel horny o day sometimes, you know what I'm saying, especially like if I wear my rain out stuff like that.
So yeah, all right, when we come back, we'll be talking to bait Banded XL about being the world's first ever beta rapper.
Stay tuned, welcome back. We are here with bab Bandit XL.
Now, bag Bandit, I want to talk about masturbation music, which is a genre I have recently been introduced to thanks to you.
There have been famous songs about masturbation.
Prince has dracked you off, and of course the vinyl has I touched myself.
I think you are the first artist to completely.
Devote your musical output to masturbation, which has to be some kind of achievement. I can't imagine anyone in the history has done it before. So I'm wondering where did you get the idea to start creating music about masturbation.
I'm gonna be honest, like, I've always loved music. I've done music in my normal life before, so this was like something I don't want to say a joke. It was just something I was doing for fun. I was feeling good, of course, you know, and I was just playing on this app that I discovered during the pandemic, so I, you know, I just wanted to see how it would sound if I made some little joky song
about beating your dick. And I, you know, first I just put it out to my bros in our group, you know, and then they was like going crazy over yo. So I never expected that response. Man, I never expected that. And then I was like well, let me put this
on Twitter and see what happens. And then came a beat that dick Up challenge where people would like videos and then you know, stroking and nothing to the song with the song on the background, nominate another bro, and then you know they the next bro do the video. You know, So it became a whole thing. And so I never expected that. Never expected that a lot of people have used it and you know, like college videos
on porn Hub and stuff like that too. I never expected to be this big and that it was on Apple Music, Title, Amazon, all all that stuff. SoundCloud is everywhere. You got it untitled. That's that's what.
I was gonna say.
It was like.
I love that releases. Yeah, and then we saw a video of You're performing at live at a venue I think it was Lambda Club here in New York, which is amazing, Like it's like a high energy song, but it's so funny because there's also like a trio of people making out in the background.
So let me tell you that was an interesting show. Bro, like that show because that was at this Lambda Lounge. Shout out to Lambda, the owners of Lambda and Lando overall. They have landa lounge and Lambda the club in Brooklyn. So this was at Brooklyn and so anyway, that that night they had an event called meat Fest. So I was the opening.
Yeah, who else could open?
Let me tell you something. They talk about demon Tom on the internet right there, and there was this couple that came in and then this third guy. So I don't know if they were like a trouble. I don't know what they were, but the whole show, they was like vibing to the music, but they were making out the entire show, filling up on each other. When I got to beat the dicker, they start grabbing each other's dicks. I was just like, Yo, this is a vibe.
Yo.
I wish everybody could be like this at every show.
I was like, that's your target audience. It's like, regardless of who's listening, they're getting hard out of that.
It was like you didn't even have to be yes. And who makes your beats? Do you make them? I do not make my beats. My gut, I don't make them. I definitely work with a wide variety of engineers and producers who you know, pull music together and outsaid that, and so what happens when you're like, can you make me a be and then you come in and drop
the verse, Like what is their reaction? Like it was a crazy experience because you know, they didn't know they was getting when I came in and I got in the booth and I just said, all right, I'm just gonna close the door. And there was a wheel window right here too that sai, I'm not even gonna look over there. I'm just gonna start rapping. Just keep going. Yeah,
we did the take. We did like the first big chunk and it was dead ass silent in the room for like a little minute, and he was like, all right, so where you want to start from? It was, you know, after a while, it was like, you know what, he came. He came to me. He was like, you know what, you got an interesting, you know thing going on, but your music hits. It sounds fire Like I appreciate that.
Yeah.
Yeah, when it's an album coming out, definitely go and drop this year. I just want to make sure it's perfect. Chronicles of a Beta is really I really want that to be a beta diary for me to really give people who don't understand, you know, what being a beata is, or at least just understand my life to give them a you know, a deeper size. Most of the songs are telling the story about a bit experience that I've had,
or a bait experience that I fantasized about. So and I write all my ship, write everything, so you know it's coming straight from my experience as my heart.
So we were talking about it a lot, but I think it's time we take a listen to your biggest hip.
Beat that dick up.
Yeah, that's all right here for all my baby bros. You already know what time it is. Go ahead and lock that door, put your headstone, turn that all your mother, Get comfortable and beat that dick.
Beat that dip, sit back, relax on the wandrn out. Get lost in time.
That beat that dick.
Beat that beat that mother fuck.
Sit back, relax on the wind, your mind the fu out, get lost the time.
I'm my boss, I'm my bait. I ain't got time to be I hate that if I ain't beating my best. Believe I'm getting paper busting that one busting later, losing count got later in my room, get my b b X up. Bata is going up and down my tongue all night long, beating down the Bush called me King Kong that you know my dig the words of the song he said, don't punish man, but don't never do me.
Wronge be that could beat that dick up. That could beat that dick up, that could beat that mother beat that dick up.
Sit back and relax, waand your mind come the fuck out get lost.
I love it, Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love it sure over the head gets me every time.
Like you know that looks like you know what I'm saying, So you know, say that for later, Yeah, say that for lady. You know what I'm saying, get your get your night jumping off right, you wish you the happiest edging.
Thank you to try.
I came with you and like you know how it's going because like yeah.
Shoot me a dm be like all right, you know, but you know we can talk. We can talk about that. I gotta like get better, just like take your hands off. Yeah. Also, loosen up your grip sometimes, loosen up your grip sometimes. Well, I mean, if you want to last.
You know, you know what I'm saying, And I think I have to go with it with the mindset that like you're not doing this to come that part, all right, I want to thank Bag Band Excel so much for stopping by.
This has been a blast, This is so much fun.
Thank you. Where can we find you online? So yeah, find me on Twitter, find me on Instagram, Bake band Excel Official dot com that's where you can find me. If you interested in being a member of b Excel Bake Bros. Hit us up on Twitter, BBXL Bake Bros. Or bb Excel Bagbros dot com. So yeah, thank you again, thank you.
When we come back, we're going to be playing our special side edition of our favorite game, Pump or Dump.
I can't wait and be right back.
I know, all right, welcome back. It is time to play our favorite game here at Cruising Confessions, Pump or Dump.
Remember, pump means we love it, we're all about it, and dump means the exact opposite.
We do not want to see it again. Let's get it out of here.
Absolutely, we are starting with peas and carrots.
Dump. I'd say dump too, Yeah, I mean you can't make chicken pop pie without peas and carrots.
Yeah, but like that's all together in the one thing. Carrots is on a side. Yeah, it just gives like Midwest frozen vegetables.
It's giving Midwest frozen vegetables.
I hate that.
I understood that perfectly, and it conveyed what you needed it too.
Oh man, Next up on our lists Nancy Reagan. Oh, the throat out herself. Yeah, she walks so competitors could run. Truly, I hate any Reagan. It's a dump.
Sorry, No, I'm not sorry.
Uh, you're gonna hate me. I'm gonna say, pump, You're gonna pump.
The woman who married one of the worst people to handle the HIV eights crisis as president.
She had me a throat. I'm sorry.
She was at the White House when they actively denied the existence of h No, no, no, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But like if we're thinking about it, just from the context.
We're just thinking about her work, not your husband. Yeah, just like throat goat, and like that's a pump to me, being a throat oat is a pump. Being Nancy Reagan is a dump. Okay, all right, can we separate the artists from I'm done. I'm done here, I'm fine. Let's go into the next one. We can have a difference of opinion.
It's okay, but yours is problematic and you will get dragged for it online.
So that's fine.
That's fine.
I'm saying, as a throw go, I have to support another throw go.
You know what, you know what, Chris Blerding a lot about you.
I like the community.
Well, I help you and the corpse of Nancy Reagan have a wonderful time building community together.
Next up we have Robin Robin as an Batman sidekick another side There have been several iterations of Robin which everyone turns into Nightwing and has the juicy booty.
That's the one I like.
Also Joel Schumacher's Batman and Robin with the nipples on the outside. Life changing gay experience. Really, that was my awakenings, all right. Next up is toothy blow Jobs. The concept of a toothy blow job. I think we can do this together, dumb This was quite the episode, that was and I learned a lot too about like sort of how folks think of self pleasure and the expansive possibilities when you look at the baiting community or masturbation or
any form of solo play. It's really obviously like one of the first sexual experiences I had was with myself. Yeah, but I don't really think about you know, the time that I put into self pleasure. So you know, I think one of the best pieces of advice we got today from bait bandit was be patient.
Yes, and loosen your grip yes.
And I do want to say that I'm really glad that we got to do this episode on sides and baiting as well. There are so many possibilities for sharing what your preferences and identity are on stuffies as well. So like obviously y'all are very welcome to come base. I mean, you can organize a group bait session.
You can identify as a side, and now with all the new filters, you can filter out if you're looking for just other sides to hang out with, which is also amazing.
I was on the last night actually looking for a circle jerk.
I love you. I was out trying the new endowment filters just to see what the average size in my neighborhood is, you.
Know what I mean, just to see what's neighbor We want to thank our guests today, bait band x L. Look for his album Confessions of Abater coming later this year, and follow him at bait band XL on all socials OnlyFans and just for fans and if you're a black and Brown masservator, definitely check out bbxlbaitbros dot com. Thanks for watching, See you next week.
Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is a production of the Outspoken podcast Network from iHeart Podcasts. It's directed by Adam Barron, produced by Stevie Williams and Cameron Femino, and executive produced by Eli Martin. Cruising Confessions is presented by Sniffy's, the ultimate map based cruising platform for gay, by and curious people ready to cruise. Check out the map at Snippy's dot com and follow Sniffy's on socials at Snippy's app.
Good job, Good put, Job Put Joe