Heaux Church

Hey, viewers.

Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends your sensibilities, you might want to skip this Viewer discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids.

Put your pussy, put your put your pussy up, Put your pussy, put, put your pussy.

Welcome to Sniffy's Cruising Confessions. I'm Gabelon Sadez and.

I'm christtison Rosso. Each week we explore the sublime world of queer sex, cruising, and relationships.

We talk to queer folks of all kinds.

We'll ask some questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations, and provide practical advice that you can use at home. Jo put Joe, pussy, put Joe, put put your put put your.

So Yes, Chris so Gabe.

Today we're going to talk about a topic that is it's fraught, it's charged.

We're talking about religion.

Yes, yes, Before we dive in, I would like to know did you grow up in a religious household?

Were you spiritual or religious at all?

Yeah. So it's interesting because my mom wasn't very religious my grandmother was, but growing up in predominantly white neighborhoods, my mom thought that going to a black church would be a go way for us to build community, and so that's what we did. We would like drive almost an hour to the black part of town. But what happened was the kids were really nasty to my brother and I. They teased us a lot at about like I don't know, twelve or thirteen. I just like begged

I hate because it felt like I was going to something that my parents wanted to go to to like try to fix something in their life.

And I was like, I'm good. So this is a bit of my my lore.

You don't know.

I used to read at church. Oh, from the ages of ten to fourteen, my parents made me read at church. So like they were like, how do we channel this, Like obviously faggy child's energy towards something that we so they were like, get up on stage, great idea. So I'd be like reading from first Philippians like seek not Shelter from you.

It was not I just made that up.

Oh yeah, that's real.

And then it was in Spanish, so.

It was like, oh yeah, this is a whole nother layer.

Whatever, you know what I mean. It was like really bad, insane. So that was my life for a while. And obviously all the old ladies flocked to the faggy child who would read a church and I'd be like, you're gonna be such a great young young man when you grow up, and you're going to marry a beautiful wife.

And I was like, oh, we're.

Not, okay, we aren't seeing ida yea very like gentle indoctrination.

You're so talented and handsome and straight, right, yeah.

All right. It is no secret that being raised in religious communities or households that have negative views on sexuality can impact queer kids in dramatic ways as we grow up, and for.

Those of us who know this experience, we know it can sometimes take a really long time, sometimes years, to recover from these harmful teachings, leading to a string from those who claim to love us the most.

It can change our fundamental relationship to religion and force us to question whether we want to worship a god who we've been told doesn't like our very existence.

Many of our guests over the past three seasons have been people who have used their queer adulthood to prepare their trauma and embrace their sexuality. But our guest today is taking it one step further. They're forming a new church, a hoe Church spelled hgaux, and they're here today to spread the gospel.

Our guest today, Brandon Kyle Goodman, is a writer, actor, host, and sexual and mental wellness advocate, best known for their work on netflix Immy nominated comedy series Big Mouth, and it's been off Human Resources as well as Amazon's Modern Love and ABC's Avid Elementary.

In twenty twenty four, Brandan Kyle Goodman launched their incredible podcast tell Me Something Messy on our very own iHeart Network.

And now they're undertaking their biggest endeavor yet, making their off Broadway debut and their original one person show, Hoe Church, a celebration of self love that features spirited storytelling, divine music, and all things holy to heal the parts of ourselves that shame tries the erase.

Presented in association with Lena Waithe. The Hoe Church is open now through November eighth, at ars Nova in New York City.

Absolutely go please.

Tickets are available at ars Nova NYC dot com.

Welcome to Nippy's Cruising Confessions, The Honorable Revenue in the making.

Brandon Kyle Goodman, Hi, how are you Ho Seminary Ben, it's been sexy.

Thank you for bringing your ministry to the heathens.

Of New York. Oh my god, my pleasure, my absolute pleasure.

So now, without telling us too much, we're giving away the show.

What exactly is Ho Church?

How did it come about?

Oh?

My goodness, what is it? Well, it's my it's my baby, my brain child. I like to describe it as Pee Wee's Playhouse meets Doctor Ruth with a sprinkle or a dash of Wendy Williams if you will.

Okay, So, like haven't seen the show? That is a perfect description.

We call it like the sex education for adults, but in the framework of children's shows, using that nostalgia of learning or Sunday school to talk about the things that we do not talk about, which is our bodies, our desires, our love, and our families and our trauma, but in a way that feels safe, relatable.

I love the Doctor Ruth comp sustainable and watch her on the Oxygen.

Networks Clomb back to back, an elite block of television.

What a great comp right, because I think we are kind of lacking figures like that. It's really hard to find resources as an adult or even a young adult these days to talk honestly and without shame about sex, right.

Yeah, And that's the key is like how do you talk about these things without feeling shame? Like I think doctor Ruth was. It felt comforting because she was like a grandmother and you talk about these nasty things and she was always like uh huh, and you do this and you do that. It's like, oh yeah, that energy where if the person receiving it isn't like, oh scandal, then you w on the receiving end also get to be like, oh Okay, this isn't this isn't a big deal.

I would love to know what your definition of a hoe is.

Yeah, well, you know, I spell it h gau X and I say it's the bougie, it's upgrade. But I define a hoe as someone who commits to the liberation of themselves and others by thoughtfully interrogating their relationship to sex using curiosity, communication and compassion.

Oh yeah, the three c's, the three c's.

Well, how did you go about kind of developing this this working definition? What was it in your life that kind of helped you hone in on this?

Well, I wrote on Big Mouth for a while, and then the pandemic happened, and I'm still working on the show, and I ended up becoming one of the people talking about race and identity and intersectionality, which you know, I was very grateful to be able to have my platform to do that, but also, like I like telling dick jokes,

So I love mess.

I love mess Murray Condo.

I actively engage in mess sometimes. I do say this.

Difference between messy and sloppy messy were not sloppy. MESSI is human like just like perfectionism is a fallacy. So being messy like going through life, like figuring things out.

You might function up, but that is.

Part of it, you know.

But sloppy is like, that's a different girl.

I don't.

Love it.

Therapy love readable.

I do you feel like MESSI is natural? Sloppy is intentional, right.

That is it?

Yes, that's exactly So for our listeners, what does the whole church look like?

Like I'm walking in for the first time to mass What am I seeing?

Well, you know, the designers Launce Emote in the third and civo Ark Nosey and Matt Lazarus, who are set projections and lighting design just really teamed up to build a fucking church. So when you walk in, it looks like a church. But the archways are modeled after volvas, and if you look on the floor there are volvas, and my like runway is.

A penis and the stained class windows are penises.

But I also wanted.

It to feel like it could be architectural digest like.

That was the thing we wanted.

Wanted to feel like something You look at me like, oh, that's actually beautiful, and then when you look a little closer, you're like, and that's a penis.

You know.

The hope is that it immediately makes you feel joy, the same way that when you saw Pee Wee Set, or you see Sesame Street immediately go, oh my god, that's I want to be there.

I want to touch everything. Speaking of Pee Wee and Sesame Street, there are puppets, are there? There are puppets. Yeah, I love puppets. We love puppetry.

Yes.

Greg Corbino, who's our puppet designer and puppeteer, is just a genius and we've been working with him from the inception of the show. The first puppets that we had were Pussy Puppet and but Whole aka Pussy Pussy is modeled after Earth the Kits, so she has a very like Darling but hold a model after Beaker, so he doesn't really.

Love that.

And then Floppy, who is our emotional penis who can only get hard when he's emotionally connected, so there's.

Room for floppy to grow.

Yes, yeah, I mean there is something kind of inherently phallic about church symbology. I feel like the Catholics love a like hard dick hidden somewhere in their imagery.

We got the columns. Jesus on the cross is carrying it.

He's grunted.

Jesus is always hot, like always bodied.

And I'm wondering why who is painting Jesus for all those years?

Yea, all those gates. I'm something exactly.

That was.

Yes, from Michaelangelo to you direct connection.

Now in the show, you use.

Your own experiences to kind of share why you founded a new church that celebrates host So let's dive in. Could you tell us a bit about your experience with organized religion growing up and how that kind of impacted your sense of spirituality and identity today.

Yeah, I mean the show starts with me sharing that I'm a PK, a pastor's kid. So my grandmother was

But then we also did like Buddhism.

We did Ancient Egyptian ideology, we did the Secret we did like just she was like always bouncing around, always searching, and so my spiritual background was kind of started with Christianity, but then also got exposed to all these other things. And so I just had a fascination with religion and people's ways of worship. When I was in my twenties early twenties, my mom became born again after my grandmother passed away, and so then.

My mom went right back to the church and harder way than my grandma.

My grandmother was dope actually, like she was like Jesus was king, but like she wasn't like fire and brimstone, And for some reason, my mom's return to church became very fire and brimstone, and so that preated a rupture between us, and so we haven't spoken in about fifteen years. It really forced me to like rebuild my own church for myself. I think what was interesting to me is that my mom tried to get me to go back to this thing, but I was already raised, like she'd already raised.

A very kind of open minded person.

She'd already taken me through all these different things, and so it was hard to put the girl back in a box, you know. And so yeah, with that, with that relationship severed, I just started to ask more intentional questions about like what is belief, what is spirituality?

What is it to me?

What do I want it to be? Who is God?

And so all of.

That exists inside of who Church, which is really just asking the audience to critically think for themselves what works for you?

What do you want?

Just because you were told one thing doesn't mean it's true. I'm I use a Walt Whitman quote in the show, re examine all you've been told in school or in church, in any book, and dismiss whatever insults your own soul.

And so that to me is like the anchor of the show, like, just re examine it.

If you like it, you like it, but if you don't, you get to say, oh, I don't actually like this, this actually don't work for me.

Let me go find something else. Were you close with your mom and your grandmother and when you came out, and what did that process look like.

When I came out, I was like twenty. My grandmother that point was in the nursing home. I never actually came out to my grandmother, but my mom, Yeah, I did come out to her. We were very close and we remained close after I came out. Then after Grandma died, that's when it flipped. So that's what made it jarring, is that, like her flip happened at my apartment that I lived with my boyfriend. So she like came over to the apartment that she'd been too many times to like read me Bible verses.

It said my life was a sin and so you're just like okay, and the Bible verses are she found.

She found the good one and.

I guess has opinions on shrimp, has opinions on core people, has opinions opinion.

She was spiraling one night and I don't like any of this is a crash.

She went to a red lobster and an it she sweater and had a mean gay server.

That's what happened.

And there are like three solid verses that she she read to me all from like Corinthians, Liviticus, and the first Book of Timothy. And it was just like, oh ship in the moment, I mean, if I can go back to that time, there's like a disassociating because there's true confusion, Like you know, the first one, I was truly like, okay, cool, great, yeah for sure, the sexually

Huh, so wait, tell me what this is about.

By that last one, I was like, Oh, all the dots are putting together. We put our parents and our families and pedestals. Yes, and so especially I think as an only child with a single mom, that's my world, Like that's my constellation. Naturally, I'll do anything to not fuck up the stars. So my brain is telling me everything else besides like oh no, this is homophobia that's happening in front of your face. And so it was

Obviously we end up talking about religion with so many guests, just by virtue of the fact that we ask them about their coming out, and a lot of people will often point to, like, religious parents, we're sort of religious

That is the heartbreaking part. The heartbreaking part is that like, I'm here, I'm right in front of you. This is a book, and it's a valuable book and a holy book, but like.

It doesn't have to do anything with what's happening right here.

It's hard to compute, it's hard to process because it's like, well, we've had at that point twenty years together. Why wouldn't you go, oh, this doesn't make sense because I'm in front of this person, right, But instead you're going, oh, you don't make sense.

It's a betrayal.

Yeah, it's a it's a betrayal because you know, family is supposed to be where you are you're safest, and when that doesn't happen, it's a death, it's a it's a grieving that you have to go through that you don't even realize is a grief because when you say it's like my mom, like my mother isn't dead to me, Like that's not the thing, but it's like, oh, this relationship has died, Like even if we were to reunite, it has.

To be a different relationship. Same, like this version of us is gone.

Yeah, and that's devastating because I loved that version, but I also multiple truths get to co exist. I also realized that that version wasn't actually real because I wasn't able to be my full self and so that version hinged on an authentic version of me or withholding right, we haven't actually had a real relationship yet.

Yeah, and that's why I felt with my mom for so long.

Yeah, I was like, oh, we don't really know, we don't really know what I feel like I got into my late twenties before we spoke to each other honestly, Yeah, Okay.

We have ideas of each other or you have an idea of me. And that's also like a very Caribbean where like it's not allowing your child to become an adult to keep them in that child box. That's a level of control that like I think we should examine and we should like pull a thread at it again. If you choose it beautiful, but also some of us are choosing it by default as opposed to really intentionally be like.

Is this okay? Is this the type of dynamic I want to be itt.

Were you raised in a particular denomination of Christianity or was it one of those kind of open turns.

No, it was some Moravian, which is a Moravian which is like Protestant.

Get this wrong, but it might be like Swedish or some shit. It came to Trinidad, Oh wow.

What our churches were Black and Caribbean, which is also interesting because it came to the islands obviously colonization, and it was something that the culture took into the States because my grandma's church was here in Brooklyn. You know, Caribbean is like wild you know what I'm saying, like Calypso and we are very like in.

This church, just pulled together ways quiet.

You know.

It's just like interesting to be like that's not culturally yours and yet it's what we have held on to.

And if you trace that back, why is.

That now our culture when like homosexuality for example, like you know, Caribbeans famously do not fucks with homosexuals, right, But then if you like go back and you're like, oh, but in African cultures, homosexuals were there, trans folks were there. We were not homophobic, we weren't transphobic that hours, and yet we've adopted it.

How do we shake that?

And also how devastating that is that we've adopted these things that actually don't belong to us, and we're used against us and now we use against.

Our own Yeah, and we're like really set fast in that too. Yes, why are we holding onto this because we're scared? Scared? No, yeah, we don't know any other way.

And also, there is a powerlessness that we have as humans, and there are these things that allow us to feel our power. It's a false sense of power. But I understand why you're homophobic. I'm not excusing it, but it's like it makes you feel your power and all you want is to feel like, oh, I have some control over this. So if I can tell you that you're wrong or you're bad. That gives me a fake boost, but a boost Nonetheless. My mom was a theater actress, so like a lot of my godparents are gay, I

Right, I'm working for some power.

How do I get that back?

I can't bring my mother back, and so I can control my child's sexual orientation. I couldn't understand it then, but fifteen years in retrospect to go, oh, yeah, you were just trying to find yourself again, find your footing, and you didn't go to therapy.

So you know, what is it like for you to sit on that stage and to be sharing this thing that still feels like an open wound. Yeah, on stage in front of an audience of people.

It feels necessary and not for me, but because I know other people have similar stories and kind of feel like how I felt fifteen years ago, which is like the world is over and I will never be able to come back from this, and so it feels necessary to say it because it's like you will come back like look, we're in Ho church, like, yeah, here, you know what I'm saying. So it feels I don't want to say it feels good, doesn't feel bad. It just

Share with you. All right, when we come back, we're going to step inside the Hoe church and learn some of the teachings of Pastor Goodman so that we can become even better Hoes. Is that Is that possible?

I don't know.

You're gonna have to say, let's get in touch with the body of Christ.

All right.

Now that Brandon has taken us to church, it is time to do as Florida Governor's time immemorial have.

Have accused us of doing. We're gonna indoctrinate you all the whole church, all right.

In this act, we're going to hear some of the commandments you should follow to be the best Hoe that you can be. So, without giving away the entire show, I'm curious, how does a ho church start instructing its parishioners to have better sex? What are some kind of crucial teachings or places where you're you're starting from the first.

The biggest thing is that it starts with you, right that when we think about sex, we always think about the other partner or the other person, and it's really about like, well, what do you want? What are your desires that you can communicate. That's why I say it's like gently interrogating your relationship ship, what's your relationship to it, and being able to be brave enough to say what you want.

I give an acronym the show called BEMA.

Which I've written about, so it's not a giveaway, but BEMA is a way to help you identify your turn ons, body environment, moods. So it's like, where in your body do you want to be touched, kissed, licked? So like I like my nipples sucked. I like my neck kissed. Environment where do you like to have sex? Like it in the kitchen. I like it, in the bedroom, I like it in you know, the park? Mood is like how are you sitting the vibe? I need a candle, I need clean sheets, I need cookies.

Do I like work specific cookie?

I like a Choco cookie for aftercare?

Like you because after you when you come, if you have yourself a nice little sweet after baby changes your life.

And then like what are the props that you need for play or the accessory so lingerie.

Lube, lubelube, yeah, you know, cock rings, like because when people say what turns them on or like what are you into, it's like I'm into blowjobs and like, yeah, that's fine, but like give me more specifics. I say, like put that acronym in your like your notesap and as you discover things, just add it to the list. Oh I like that, or I don't like that, or oh I fucked in Central Park.

And I really love that. Add that to your environment.

Or I smelled this like lavender Vanella candle and that really did something for me. Write that under mood just a way to start to know who.

The fuck you are.

Otherwise you just like let it go happen to chance, and I think that that ends up having worse sex because you're not able to curate. I think being a hoe is about curating the vibe that you want, curating the kind of sex that you want, as opposed to just letting sex happen to you.

Because we're too old for that, too grown I'm not having bad sex.

I'm not doing it.

It's a waste of ceber.

If I'm douching for as long as i'm doing talk about that.

You think I'm douching to come fuck for two minutes and your fuck is girl again, you're a stairwells ye what love?

Get out of here with overhead lighting overhead and.

Not even a nice little rug on the stairs, steel.

In the corner, we're doing it.

I'm out, I'm not.

I'm oh, I fuck somebody. His apartment was the dirtiest thing I've ever seen. Like I do say in the show, I lost my clothes, like because he took my clothes off, and then after I like literally couldn't find it, like literally hat But when I was leaving, I fully saw a mouse run across to his ship, and I was like, I'll never be here yet. I asked for something to drink, like water, and all they had was like kool aid, like red kool aid.

It was like it was.

It was wild.

It was wild, but but it was also very good.

Dick, it's always the messy. It's the ones with a messy that's the thing.

You know, when it's messy, the dick is probably gonna.

Hit well, Okay, actually it sounds like that apartment was sloppy.

No, I'm messy. That apartment was slopped, right, it was sloppy.

So we've talked a bit about kind of embarrassing maybe sexual forays. Okay, but as you are discovering your own holy word and path, how did you deal with any sexual shame that you might have held onto growing up as you sort of became more independent, more confident in your beama approach to sex.

Yeah, I mean it's my community, or you know, I call them my hommunity.

That's what the point of home Church is.

I say, like, being in safe spaces with supportive people talking about sex signals to yourself that you are not alone and you're not to be ashamed of and that you matter. And so it was my friends and being able to have these conversations and like, what.

Did you do last night?

I have some nasty friends, Like I'm not the biggest hoe in my group, and to like to hear it and to like receive it and to like share and to like learn from each other makes you go, okay, like this is normal. It's people telling us that we're not normal people. Who are repressed on their own terms, and it's like mm hmm. Everybody wants to be out, and the more they protest that they don't they do,

It's about freedom.

It's about freedom to use your body and have sex in the way that feels good to you. If that's with everybody, if that's with one person, if that's every day, if that's once a month, that's up to you. But it's like the freedom to choose what you want to do is what I think AHA is and that triggers the fuck out of people. I mean, that's why the

Very upset by that. Liberation is scary for it, it's.

Terrifying, well, especially for organized institutions like the church.

Who need the control. Who needs you to be afraid?

I'm always like church is beautiful, but like if you were in a church where the person on the pulpit is telling you that their word is law. Something's off here, somebody that's translating something and giving you space to critically think beautiful, but like you are both the shepherd and the sheep, not just the sheep. So like that energy of like just defer to somebody, and usually it's a man.

Nah, babe.

They don't know what they do and they like the control, and you got to get from under that thumb.

What is the most religious part of sex for you?

There's so many parts of it that are incredibly religious

It's funny.

I mean, we've had some guests who I guess would engage in what some would call more extreme sexual activities, whether you're pushing your body to its limits in like a physical way or a sort of endurance way, but some of them do talk about how you kind of almost reach a meditative state after something like that, And so I think it's so interesting how people kind of find clarity find that then, like for some people it's walking on the woods, for some people it's prayer, for

So to get to that place to be.

Like, what is my spirituality, what is my meditation, what's my ritual, my belief system?

And your body is a temple?

Right, And so sex again, whether it's you masturbating by yourself or with the person or with a group, is you engaging with your body and learning what your body likes and also what it may not like. And this all you have is this. So there's nothing more spiritual than getting to know what brings it pleasure, what it likes, what it doesn't like, so that you can give it more of it, what it wants, and make sure you keep it away from what it doesn't want. Like that

They don't know if.

Like when people go I don't like, oh yeah, then you're really not connected to yourself. If you can't tell me if you like your nipples played with or not, then like you haven't even done that to know if this feels good? Oh interesting, yeah right right, And not a judgment, but it's like, oh, you're so you're so removed from yourself that you haven't even tried to see. I'm not saying you got to get fisted to know,

So touch yourselves, touch yourself right in that wild how so much of religion is like, don't touch yourself. So many conservative religions, right, don't touch yourself, don't ever, don't ever engage, yeah, with pleasure or your body.

And it's like, I mean you see the way they dance period read that. Yeah.

I had a woman come to the show and afterwards she said she was She's a forty year old version and self proclaimed church girl. He said to me, I realized after watching this show, like, what if the shame wasn't mine? What if this shame of having sex.

Was given to me? It's like.

You're given that shamean so then you don't explore yourself, you don't touch yourself.

You got one life.

Yeah, you gotta lay some of the shit down and like figure out how to live it for yourself.

Don't let other people dictate who you should be, how you should live.

I have a mentor, Ellen Barber, who says, take what you need, take what's useful, leave the rest, And I feel that about any any religion or any spiritual thing you engage with, Like, take what you need, take what's useful, and the rest of it drop it. You have to take what works for you, not what worked for people who aren't even here anymore.

Yeah. So in this show, you mentioned that you grew up with all the fear and anxiety amount HIV aids that a lot of us kids from the nineties experience. How did prep aiding your journey to becoming a better ho.

I think what it did was it gave me ownership over my body. Because I can't really control how another person takes care of their health or if they were getting tested regularly, or but I can control that about myself, and so I think PREP gave me a little bit more autonomy. It gave me a peace of mind. It gave me a way to take care of myself as opposed to hoping that this other person was also going to be taking care of themselves.

To have my own autonomy in that. Did you find yourself experimenting a lot more?

Yeah, I would say probably yes. Even just like prep aside, I always say, ahoe cares about their health and you care about the health of others. So it's like, oh, this is what kandaria is, this is what syphilis is. Allowed me to start to be like, Okay, now I can be curious, and now I know how to take care of myself and take away the shame from it.

Talking to your friends about it and be like everyone gets.

Something and like they're all treatable.

Yeah, yeah, which is wonderful.

I took my doxy this morning period this morning too. I had a lovely weekend.

Yeah, it sounds like y'all went out this weekend.

I love that. Right.

So, Brandon, your hip podcast is called tell Me Something Messy, which I love.

But now we're going to turn the tables on you.

Oh my god, but I'm wondering, what is your messiest cruising confession. It can be about actual cruising, could be hook up, it can.

Be any Oh yeah, like tell me something messy.

Madrid Pride. Well, I'm sure this happened a lot of us, but I met this very cute guy. It's tall, beautiful. I like them tall for whatever reason. I like them shore too.

Just thank you, thank you for making me feel everyone's.

Everyone's walking, I like, I like. So we went to the bathroom.

I started sucking him and then you know, he ship and the toilet print was out and there was a line of people waiting, and you know, ship out of water is not is very polent.

So as soon as that door open.

So he took a ship. After the fun.

No no, she pay so he like leaves and he grabs the like last bit of paper towel that's the that's in the bathroom.

Obviously the smell is traveling down.

At this time he comes back, We're trying to like, oh whatever, my best friend, I'm like.

Can't do anything because it's just ship all down.

Cleans it up as much as he can, and of course so apologetic and I'm doing my best because you know, it happens. So I'm like trying not to make him feel shamed. So I'm like, it's cool, We're good.

I don't worry.

At Saint time, like texting my best friend and I was.

Like, get me out of here, leave best friend, swoop me up and water like, water like water like, I need to get this off.

But that was Yeah, that was a wild night. The thing about poop, though, is that it lingers. It does awesome because infections exactly. God, I swear to god.

I got a ut I once and I went to a walk in and the nurses like, men don't get U T I s And I was.

Like, baby, gotta leave.

Let me tell you, let me tell you. Granted, this is like eleven years ago.

This is all right. Now we've reached the end of the interview, but there's still so much more we want to know about you. Yes, it's time for some rapid fire questions. Are you ready? I'm ready?

Okay, So the first one is describe your Sniffie's profile picture.

I don't have. I don't have one.

The first photo you would send somebody if you're talking to them.

I'm talking to them.

It's gonna be a face bit because I want to make sure that you like the mug first.

The booty will get my attention. The mugg will seal the deal.

Yes, I'm a I'm a face card. I like, please don't let it decline. You know what I'm saying sufficiently because I'm like, I just want to work. And then depending on what she's the verse really so am I dealing with my verse bottom top? Because I got a nice dick pic of me standard to the side. You see a side profile.

Get.

Smart, rap.

A lot of it. Okay, they never are. Describe the last person you sucked in three words.

Tall, bald, hairy, on Okay, that's half a Brooklyn. So work, We'll track them down. Give them the three options, your place, third place or a third place third place?

What would that secret? Their place?

Hotel work, this nice little fancy hotel room, because then I don't have to worry. Like they come in, they clean the sheets, you can leave, you know, like a water room service.

You get a little support for figuring the vibes. All right, what's the corniest opening line that has worked on you? You have beautiful lashes? You think that's corny? Absolutely?

Because to me it's corny because like you're you're I know you do on line love Like why you look at this much of my eyes like this?

How could I not?

Chris, let's talk after. Do you think my lashes are pretty? They're gorgeous? Thank you? Yeah, thank you, You're welcome. What's the next question, please?

I think we all have beautiful lash.

Wow.

All right, what's the last place you hooked up with someone?

The lasts of their apartment?

Okay, yeah, cute, it's cute.

It was like, I love fucking in New York because y'all, because I also love a view and so l everything is like short and so ITHI was not bad.

We love tall places too.

Yeah, y'all got like, you know, high rises, so like it was like on like the seventeenth floor.

That was like, that's why I said.

When he told me that, I said, what apartment?

This is seventeen?

I was like, Oh, when the apartment is letters and not a number, that's when I'm like, oh.

Let me dress up for the absolutely.

And the last of our rapid fire questions.

What is your most controversial take related to sex, square, life, cruising, anything, anything queer.

I think it's okay, Like my best friend disagrees with this, but like if we're at a party and we fucking the same guy and I come in that guy, I think it's okay for my friend to put their dick in there. Come in there too, Yes, my friend says, no, Like if you already came in there. I don't want to put my dick. I don't want your come touching my dick.

Okay, Okay, I see both sides of that.

You see what break it down?

Because I still there are certain friends that I will go to a sex party with, but I will not have sex with that fucking someone. Then your com is on there. I'm that's why. Why because we're family, because it's in a way. But yeah, but there are also some friends that I would like absolutely get in there after them.

Okay, but there's.

Like ten loads in there.

What does it matter?

It's probably just yours this this field. You've had an experience recently, But how would you know? But if you never told, they wouldn't know.

Like where do we draw?

Okay with the same people, but like you're not okay if my com is in there?

God, that's crazy.

Maybe it's not crazy.

I'm crazy. But I'm going to ask the friend group. I'm going to get in the chat tonight.

I ask the viewers write a sane how about you leave a comment below? Is it weird if you're close to somebody to come with somebody right after they came in them? Yeah?

I feel like that's that's like, that's a Brooklyn pastime.

You know what I mean?

That is?

Like, are taking answer? Yeah? Absolutely absolutely. We have one more thing lef to cover, Brandon.

We have heard some of your cruising confessions, but next up in our show, we are going to have a listener call in and share one of their cruising confessions anonymously.

Would you like to stick around and listen?

I would love to. Amazing, Yeah, the park was hot. So this one time I was at this bisexual guy.

Has and somebody from an anonymous account threatening me, saying that I better watch myself as I leave the building.

And then I eventually amassed to stay the night and I wake up the next.

Morning and he had like.

Three filing cabinets in front of the door, and like what four or five laundry baskets in front of those filing cabinets.

I'm like, should I be concerned for my life? I'm leaving this building, Like what's going on? I was holding on to my pocket knife with.

A death grip. That was so scary. I was never scared.

Yeah, he was saying that that person is crazy crazy eggs crazy crazy man.

Okay, so let me get this right. You're at a hookups place and the crazy X is clocking who's at the same location, then messaging them to say you better watch out because I'm going to kill you.

From an anonymous account. So the person at the apartment is like, first, so are you hosting what?

You know? We just need to you?

And then why did they spend the.

Night Right after the first message? I'd have been like, I actually have to go, but.

Well you're getting curled up into bed and you hear scar and it's like filing cabinets against the door.

No, I would have hit the group chat, dropped the location, called the car, and gotten the fun.

I must have been good because you gotta be.

Like the head on that dick, like what is going on?

But also for the gotta be like, it's my crazy ex. It's like if you knew this, if this has.

Happened before, Yeah, because you had a system.

It's the filing cabinets and the lottery basket. What those laundy right? First of all, that would make my pussy clothes immediately, what do we do?

I'm also like loving the detail that was never explained of So I was at this bisexual guys, is that coming?

Because that's anonymous profile, so it could have been.

Could have been a woman. It was a hysterical woman.

I just feel like it wasn't a necessary detail, didn't.

Do anything to the plot. Okay, I guess they just wanted us know that they can pull it.

Bisexual work, bisexual representation.

I love that absolutely, A lot of interesting details sprinkled in the bisexual man the switchblade I was holding.

Couldn't imagine if my ex was just like messaging people on sniffees, like after all my hookups, I would be like, call the lady, Call the lady because you need a lady, because you need lady. Kay, you know what I'm talking about on the one that gets you on the couch talking about why why are you hitting up your exes?

But I also fight first. I'll swing first. Okay, now I have a crazy ex is doing that. I'm a swing first because you already telling me that you about to do something wild.

Yeah.

I don't need to wait, right, I don't need.

To wait to figure out you know what I'm saying, because you know you know who you I'm not.

I'm not waiting for you to make the move. I will make the first move for you.

Love you was the head of the whole church. What's your like official penance that you would assign them? How do they need to fix this or makeup for this block?

Everybody there? We go.

Yeah.

Yeah, safety comes first.

And so if you're ever in a situation that you don't feel safe or with somebody who didn't take care of your safety, like that to me, like on a real level, that that partner not telling you that this was a situation is not taking care of your safety. Yeah, And so that person, they might be a good person, but that's not ready.

For you to be in relationship with them. Yeah. Love that.

Five Hill, Mary's in a block, that's where's Yeah, absolutely great.

I love that. If you want to hear your own cruising confessions on an upcoming episode of this podcast, you can call our Cruising Confessions hotline at three zero two two one nine three eight nine eight. That's three zero two two one nine three eight nine eight.

And obviously we have to thank you our guest, Brandon Kyle Goodman.

It's been such a pleasure getting your story, getting to learn more about your show.

And just kind of shooting the shit. This has been so much fun, truly that much my dream.

But before we let you go. Where can folks find you online? And where can they get tickets to Hot.

You can find me at Brandoncylegodman dot com and that's where you can also get tickets and on.

Instagram Brandon cal Goodman.

Very easy. You don't just put money bay, you won't find me.

Yes, and it's a good follow.

Do it? Follow me in these eyelashes.

Look.

Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is directed by Adam Barron, produced by A. Menda Kuper and Cameron Femino, and executive produced by Eli Market.

Cruising Confessions is presented by Snippies, the ultimate map based cruising platform. We're gay by and curious people ready to cruise. Check out the map at snippies dot com and follow snitches at snippis app.

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Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Healthy Sexuals dot com. Put job, put put jot, put your pup