Couples Who Cruise Together

Hey, viewers, Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex. Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends your sensibilities, you might want to skip this. Viewer discretion is advised. It's definitely not for kids. So game.

So, Chris, question for you, Oh uh, have you ever gotten cruising for a third with a boyfriend or a partner?

So in college, my very first boyfriend, I opened up our relationship and it did not go well in our early twenties, I don't think we had the emotional maturity to deal with that. My boyfriend now and I have been dating for seven years and for the very first time I think we have as a pair started dating someone. Oh, which is very funny. Yeah. So we're like together and we lived together and then we met this guy and we thought it would sort of be like a one

When is that going to happen?

I don't know. I hate making things concrete. It feels so straight to be like what are we okay? But like okay, okay, but what are we no? But it works. It's really nice. We've got a good flow, You've got a nice trust and I think we understand that there's like more of an emotional connection there. But we will also hook up with other people, so you know, we'll

In this episode, we'll talk to a married couple who cruise together and throw their own sex parties about how they make it work for them. Then Gabe and I are heading out to hear some cruising confessions both hot and horrific.

Chris, I love it when we're cruising together. Welcome to Stiffy's Cruising Confessions.

I am Gabelinzilers, I'm Chris Patterson Rosso. Each week weeks flore there sublind World of Queer Sex, Cruising and Relationship.

We'll be talking to queer folks of all kinds, ask them questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations. A lot of us are discovering ourselves incrusing spaces.

This happened to me at this toilet stall, in the library or the airport.

I feel like everybody's gonna fuck a little harder here. Damn. So I've been like the neighborhood slot and I took pride in that.

I was so afraid but yet so intrigued, and the more I gave him, the more he could take.

If you're having sex on Sniffy's, you already have a moral deficit. Our guests today are two of my best duties. Leo and Jordan. They met it at sex party in twenty sixteen, have been together ever since. In twenty twenty two they got married, and today they throw the super hot New York based ex parties j xx L and Comfort Daddy, where you can find me working sometimes.

Welcome Leo and Jordan. Well everyone, thank you. I wanted to start at the beginning with your story. Chris said, you met at a sex party, and I wanted to know more about the meat cute story.

I pursued Leo first, and it took a few times, but I had started working close check at this sex party that happens in Manhattan. I had seen him out before as a shape shifter. I don't know if he knew it was me that was cruising him all this time before at different events and whatnot.

I saw Leo.

I came up to Leo and I said, hey, I think you're really cute. My advances were not received accepted.

Look at that little smile, You're like, Look, I was busy.

Yeah, And then we came back to the July party, and you know, I said, let's try it again, and I got a no for a second time.

So then for the party in.

August, I was doing close check and I said, we'll do you know, to myself, We'll try it again. And with that I had said to Leo, this is the third time I'm asking you out, and I won't do it again. I got the phone number. We kind of log cabined it, you know, very quickly. Right after where I would stay the night, I would stay two nights. I would go back to get my long weekend of clothes out of my dresser where I was living in my apartment.

Here we are today, Yeah, yeah, what's your experience of Oh yeah, that's what I I was like, version.

Of the truth.

It's true. He did ask me three times. I was attending that party each month. I had previously dated someone younger than me and that did not end well.

Oh okay, so now we're getting like the background, all the content.

So my fear in trepidation sort of kept me from, you know, saying yeah, right, right now, let's go. So then we after my birthday, we went on an official date at this restaurant in our neighborhood, and I said, before the date, I'm like, we will not be hooking up tonight. We've both seen each other in action, We've seen each other naked. We you know, we know a couple of things about each other. And we had a

And then we capitulated that did meeting at a sex party make it easier for you to sort of approach this topic about anaship.

I can speak from previous relationships that that was always a.

Huge tension point.

And when I decided I was going to pursue a relationship with Jordan, I knew that that was something that was definitely going to be needed to be worked out and very clear. I knew, because I am a man of a certain age and he was in his twenties, that neither of us were to be tamed.

And I also think.

That when you're in, you know, in a relationship, you want the best for the person and abundance for the person. The situation that we met in, we both know that we both have sexual appetite, so it was that we weren't going to deny each other that where you always opened from the jump. Once we became we made it official boyfriends. Then it was my idea that we actually start hosting our own, oh fun party, Yeah right, And it started like who we would have in our own home, in our apartment.

So I'm curious the first time you all hosted a party together that was a bit more explicitly sexual. What was sort of navigating that like for the very first time once you had officially started dating.

We invited a new friends. They were new friends to me, They were friends of Jordan's and I believe he said out loud that he hadn't been with one of them sexually, but he was looking forward to it to it and then you know, going through that process with him was actually kind of nice to watch.

Yeah, I've seen her inaction.

You know, she brought she brought the room together, and we need a unifier now more than we are here to foster relationships. Is it easier to kind of avoid the pitfalls of jealousy when you know the other person that you're hooking up with is also partnered.

There's a level of comfort, But cruising other couples there's not necessarily a free radical and they're hungry. We both demand a level of respect from our suitors. You know, somebody's going to be into one more than the other. That's just kind of that's natural, right, you know, if you're not so into the other one, you have to at.

Least be nice and respectable.

When we sense that that's not the case, it's they you know, they get checked off the list.

To nip that ship in the butt right away, because it only then like it's a death. It either is a death by a thousand paper cuts or like you know, a cat bite where it festers under the skin kind of thing.

We both had previous dalliances that we were still friendly with after we made our book. You know, we became official, right and they either kind of got on board with it or they kind of fell by the wayside. They was almost like we had to reacquaint ourselves with them.

I kind of appreciate the pragmatism, right. It's like I have a similar scenario with my partner. He's much taller, he's white, has like ginger hair. I'm a short perto Rican dude who's like Harry all over. We are very different types, as you said, right, and I think we usually enjoy playing together, and there are moments where it's like clear somebody's a little more into him than me,

Is getting a little like right to deny that that exists in engaging with another solo person, another couple people that liked you one day and don't like you another day kind of thing. It You know, you have to take it into account. You know, I love a quip in a one liner and say you can't have either of us if you're not into both of us. Kind of thing, and that is easy for people to get or at least in.

Two right to understand.

It.

Yeah, we're going to make sure you're listening. You're not going to hear it, you will listen to it.

What other boundaries did you say? We had a boundary of condom.

Condoms outside of the two of us, and even at our party if other people are having row sex, you know we have condoms and offer But everybody there knew that if they were going to get together with.

Us, they were going to have a condom on. But I'm curious what goes through your head when you're at one of your parties and maybe you see the other person playing with someone else. I'm sure that there are varying levels of jealousy that have changed over the years. But what's the way you two found to kind of cope with that stuff and communicate through it.

I would say, well, it gave me a view sort of behind the curtain, because I feel like we become more aware of each other's appetites.

Practices.

I've walked by and Jordan's busy with like five people and I'm like, wow, you go, you go with.

But we know that we know that we've either you know, chatted with him about it, I had to drink about it, or allowed in him saying I want to see you do that to him next time.

When we when we first started, there was this bottom top dynamic and I was determined to not let him get all the dicky.

And you know, being a you know.

Total top is actually quite tiresome, isn't it.

Yes, it's a little tire sound.

And then you know, and Jordan would always been like, oh, I'm ready to go again, let's go again, and I'm like, I'm you're gonna give me a heart. So I knew that, I knew that he had appetites more than just my one staunch on top so fulfilled and the opposite of that, like I've been, you know, steadily on my journey of trying to take more and.

More okay, and you know, and some pretty large ones at that. Yes, girl, I've seen you this. You know.

It harkens back to these like settings and rules or topics about how we do what we do, and it is a piece of our personal relationship that extends into these public fears.

I think we keep the air of our gatherings very casual. Yes, like me trying to take a dick in this sling. Jordan's walking by and.

I'm like, oh my god, come hold my hand, can cheer me on.

But there's a betting process for your parties though too, like sure, and it's kind of rigorous.

I would say I like to keep I like to be very thorough, direct and very clear about what the what the what the vibe or environment of the party is going to be. You know, we don't allow like condom shaming. You know, if any shaming shaming.

You're into it, say hey.

If you're not into it, say thank you and keep it stepping because somebody's going to want you to feet later.

Literally, we are going to take a quick break, but when we come back, we'll be asking Leo and Jordan for their tips if you're looking to start cruising as a couple of yourself, and we'll learn about their exciting new party Comfort Daddy. More cruising confessions coming up.

Something special nou Sniffs in the summer, Something special about all of my anonymous the first. Something special about our collective care and pleasure. Something special about sniff He's in the summer. Something special about a map of local dick and toolepics. Something special about safety and the humburgs oh N.

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That was Snippy's in the Summer by Clovis Gaynor. Now we're talking with Leo and Jordan, the hop Ways behind the new Parties, j XXL and Comfort Daddy. Now y'all seem to have made your open relationship work. What would you say to the couples who are interested in having a sort of a relationship that you have.

The biggest piece of advice or encouragement that I can get from my perspective is to be open to it not working out like you planned, and to be able to be flexible and move within that or away from it.

There's safety in numbers. I would say, as a unit, go into more of an event atmosphere rather than just taking on just a third, because then the dynamics of that are just so intense that you know somebody's going to feel left out. Where if you both go into let's say, you know, an inferno event, there's just so much more to look at, talk out. You know, you can make friends, you keep it, you know, you keep it familiar and casual. Our policy is that we only

How do you see other couples navigate sort of cruising together or those spaces.

I see a couple in their like sort of joined at the hip and they only move around together. In my mind, I think, oh, well, they're still in that honeymoon stage where you know, there's I'm sniffing at some kind of insecurity in there. I also think that attending an event like hours, you know you're going to work through that, and there are going to be insecurities at the beginning of any relationship, but I know who I'm

See what pops I mean. It will say for myself. It took a while for my boyfriend and I to open up. The relationship was about three four years in.

You have to know that there's going to be discomfort or it's not going to work out the way you think it is. And again, flexibility within.

That and in going to these events, I mean some people go to them, you know avidly, or you know they're regulars, And I feel like the more you do it, the more as a couple, you go to these events, you build confidence not only in each other but yourself.

Well, there is something kind of fun, right about seeing your partner do something or try something that you haven't seen in them yet and seeing that kind of come out in them. Have either of you ever faced judgment from friends or strangers for other being in an open relationship or for throwing sex parties.

I know we're in a corporate environment, but in my saying that is that I am very open with my escapades, with my practices, with you know what I'm doing this weekend. If someone asks, right leaving like freely and openly and having no shame, I think that turns some people off or it maybe it brings out their own insecurities in themself, so then they're gonna downplay what you do is being

It also removes some of that judgment, right because then, like you were saying, there's this, it's carte blanche to have the conversation or whatever the conversation might be about. And so where somebody kind of down noses.

Like eye rolls.

It's then an opportunity that like, okay, this might turn into a game to convert them and bring them into our house of worship.

Right.

So I'm curious about things from the other party side of you. Right, So, like, what should cruisers know before they start hooking up with couples.

You might cruise a couple on a bad day for them, Okay, you know, yeah, you.

Kind of don't know what what you know, what went on before they went on stage?

Right, Yeah, somebody approaches us because like you know, we are out there, our shirts are off, or we're in our jock straps or whatever it might be. And you have to be prepared for not to go how you think it, how you have so maybe planned it or thought it might.

On the other hand, you will. You can walk into a very warm situation.

You can walk into everything that you might have and so flexibility with understanding.

I like charisma.

Yeah, I would say be charismatic and friendly and to keep it in a light place, be open and and and forward, but not intrusive.

No, I like that too, And I think not being intrusive is a is a very great guideline, right, because you're a guest star in this couple's world, right. I mean what I'm hearing is your place, Yeah, in a very gentle way, in a very gentle way, know your place right and be and be good at it. Yeah, earn your place too, writ of course. Okay, So I am curious a bit more about JXXL and Comfort Daddy. I know you've been a regular attendee, but I'm curious

JXXL was, you know, an invite only we rent the space, so we were I felt like we were entitled to make, you know, pick and choose our list. And like I said, it was about like Vibe referrals, there's some intimacy there. It's not competitive, it's not CD. What Comfort Daddy is offering is more of a like diversity. It's a very evocative party title. Let me tell you, I saw it in my eyes lit up.

I was like, yeah, because.

It's all the different meanings were Comfort Daddy Daddy.

But I'm don't you come for Daddy exactly.

I've had to ask myself like, what exactly are we doing bringing it more into the public sector With Comfort Daddy, it is a you know, it's a public facing I'm calling it a public facing event.

There'll be a variety of music our DJs.

I think, are you know, unique in their in their offerings, and you know it's not your cookie cutter pots and pants like circuit music. Again, like a level of intimacy that's not competitive. It is almost like a celebration of I would say, like manhood. You know, guys in their jocks, you know, kind of bearing bearing all. You know what you're getting when you go inside. Yes, all right, well, thank y'all so much for stopping by. How can people find you online? And how do we get to your party.

At j x x L community community spelled the dictionary Way is our instagram for JXXL.

That's how you can find Comfort Daddy.

Yes, and then in order to come to one of the JXSL parties to know somebody, somebody, you got to talk to us, make a good impression.

I love that.

Thank you both again for coming. This has been such a lovely conversation. All right, when we get back, Chris and I will be cruising over to one of Brooklyn's hottest new night spots to hear some piping hot cruising confessions. We'll see after the break. Hey, welcome back to Snippy's Cruising Confessions.

We are here at Animal Bar here in Williamsborg, New York. It's the hottest new bar here in the city, and we're just gonna be asking people what it's like to cruise as a couple or as a single who cruises with couples. Tell us about the time that you've hooked up with couples.

I hooked up with a couple.

They were beautiful, a very I would say, like famous Instagate couple. Okay, I was planning on hooking up with them, and while at the same time also talking to another guy. The other guy and I were chatting and he was like, oh my gosh, you're planning on a cooking up with this couple.

I hook up with them all the time.

Should I also join? So the four of us ended up actually hooking up together, which was so much fun.

I had a great time.

And do you normally hook up with couples?

Is that like your thing, or I wouldn't say that it's normally my thing. I think it's like if the right moment presents, if I'm into both of them, if clearly they're there to both play.

Together, I'm into it.

If there's like a weird dynamic or there's like some underlying vibe that I get that there's like a weird jealousy component to it's not my thing. I am currently in a monogamous relationship.

Have you all ever talked about inviting a third into your sexual activity.

I think that the way that we think about it is an open relationship is something that you do separately, or that there's not a conversation you have to have before you hook up with someone else. For us, I don't think that makes sense. I think only playing together is something that we would do. It would only make sense if we both are really into it and both

So Keith, how long have you all been together and when did you decide to open up the relationship? About two years and I don't know.

It was kind of from the beginning we decided that like it worked well for us.

We found that it really helped to connect on the expectation of monogamy versus non monogamy at the beginning, and that just makes us smooth all the way through.

So if I can ask, what was your most recent experience with a third or with a group, like, it wasn't really anything that was like out of the norm for us.

It's kind of like a routine hookup with someone and we aligned on a lot of the things that we liked at the beginning and kind of like made sure that.

The third was into it as.

Well, and it played off very smoothly from there. So communication and expectation setting work really well, and it just felt natural. We find confident knowing that we like know what we're doing and we can kind of provide and experiencing the other person as well. That isn't like awkward or like we have to figure out our own shit while they're like kind of along for the ride, Like we can kind of just make it clow smoothly.

Have you found there are any like kind of ground rules, Like we talked to a couple earlier this episode that told us they won't hook up with anyone if the third isn't into both of them.

I think the biggest thing for us is just knowing that the other person is like planning on hooking up.

There's like no secrets.

There's obviously a very interconnected community of gays in New York, so you just want to make sure that you don't like potentially hookup with someone or get involved with someone that is contentious to your partner.

Let's say that you all are cruising tonight, assuming you might be looking. What's like one sign that someone might be approachable or someone you might be interested in.

Just a look and like a second of like prolonged eye contact and like a very innocent, simple like expression of interest usually and then you kind of know from there, Yeah.

That little smirk that you get, Yeah, yeah, the one you're giving them right now.

Yeah. Yeah. Issue. We are here with a very lovely guest. We've managed sharrangle Edward. Do you have any memorable stories you'd like to share with us? Yeah?

No, I mean I dated a couple for about six months and then it got it got kind of weird. One of them got jealous, but it was fantastic experience. I learned a lot about myself and yeah, which is great. I don't want to write like I'm a power top gave nose. I have this thing where I can come.

Like multiple, multiple, multiple.

Times without pulling out. I mean like twenty one times at twenty two times in my record. But they loved that, and so it became kind of like a selling point for one of them, and then the other one got jealous.

Yeah, do you feel like there's like a bit of pressure with that? Oh?

Yeah, before they meet popular Like, how many times are you gonna come?

I'm like, I don't know.

I can't predict the future, but sometimes it's.

A lot depends on how well you do your job. The minimum is like four or five times.

I think the better question would be, how are you going to make me come? Yeah, right, let's get that. Let's flip that. I'm pretty good at that.

And so have you as a couple hooked up with a third or yeah?

I mean to be honest, I like to watch the guy i've been dating get fucked Yeah, and then kind of fucking matter.

But yeah, it's more I like.

To watch more. Otherwise I like to be watched by a third when I'm fucking at Yeah.

Any advice for people who might be in open relationships who want to hook up with.

A third Yeah, I think just be free, be open, be curious, Like I was in a lot of monogamous relationships and the one that's once I opened it up, it's been very hot, to be honest, like, I would recommend it if you're emotionally available.

And talking to your partner. It's really good. Out of five stars, ten out of five. Yeah, you heard it here first, and that's how many times he's coming. We're here with Matthew, also known as Midnight Radio, one of Animal's favorite DJs. You can find spinning here on the regular.

I'd love for you to tell our audience a little bit about what it's been like for you as a single person in cruising with couples.

You know how like Nicki Minaj's verse on Monster is the best verse. It feels like that.

You're the Nicki Minaj verse anytime you're featuring. Of course, of course, Matthew, I'm curious, what was your latest took up experience with a couple?

Like we hooked up, they broke up. I ended up with one of them. And two years later we broke up.

Oh did they break up during the hookup or like afterward? That would be pretty fire, though, if you had that power, if one of them was like, you know what, I'm actually done.

No, it didn't happen quite that quickly. But yeah, I think inevitably one could fall in love with a single person the other one gets angry when we have an issue that can work out for the single person or it could not as a single person. You have to remember you have no say. You might be the featured artist, but you have no say.

Tonight we are here with Michael. Michael, thank you so much for joining us. Are you in a relationship right now that's open or are you here cruising for couples?

No? Actually I met with a friend, but I'm in a relationship for eighteen years. Yeah, I'm in an open relationship.

How long were you into your relationship before you and your partner decided to open it up?

Five years. It was in Italy and we were talking about that. Everyone has it in his mind, and it was like and then we said, okay, let's open the relationship, but it will be a little bit like a Pandora box, you know. We decided to take this risk and it worked actually, and.

Can you talk a little bit about what the evolution was like.

I had this obsession that we we have to be in a treism relationship more than less or to do a treism. It was not easy because I fall in love with the with the Italian with an Italian guy.

That's relationship in Italy. Do you have any advice for people who might be looking to open up the relationship or join another couple.

To be in an open relationship, you have to be very in a good relationship to yourself and in a good relationship to your partner, and very honest, because if it became kind of competition, it could be very bad for the relationship. So I would take care when I open the relationship if if I'm able to manage it.

We are here with as well and Jay, are you open? Do you hook up with other folks a lot together?

So yeah, we just open a relationship about less than like six months ago. But when it comes to actually using it in practice, even less than that, I had a couple threesomes, a couple of individual interactions, but nothing too crazy. So I would say we're still relatively new and still exploring.

I love that you've got like your driver's permit for that openships, but we're working towards the full license. We are going slowly with it.

We both understand that we're both individual personalities and we're working together as a team versus being a little bit more possessive about it.

I love that y'all are the Jujubi and Raven of open couples. Yes, all stars one. Yeah.

I love that your twenties are for figuring out yourself. And I feel like I spent like my first six years of my twenties kind of figuring out myself and that's when I got into relationship afterwards. But at that point, I knew myself so well. I knew what I didn't want and what I did want, so that I feel like I was the most prepared for when a relationship

Talked about it before we even decided to be boyfriends, so we actually had a really honest discussion when we first started talking to each other.

Seriously in terms of what we were looking for.

Honestly, because I had seen relationships that were close to me in open relationships, and I think that they were some of the most beautiful relationship that I've seen in the queer community. So that was something that I was like, Oh, I was always very drawn to that because it's just like for me, at least, I was a very sexual person. So it's just like it was gonna be hard for me to be monogamous to someone from what I thought, and it has come easier as the way.

But I will say I still have.

My sexual urges and things like that, and I feel like it doesn't have to mean anything other than that. Like to me, that's my ideology. It's different for everybody, but that's just how I think of it.

And tonight we're here with Walker.

Well, I'm in an open relationship when I came here tonight, so I'm from Albuquerque, New Mexico. I was in a relationship with this guy who lived in Santa Fe at the time, and he was always telling me about this like big like bear daddy couple who had a hot tub, right, So.

We were gonna go hook up with them and be in their hot.

Tub immediately a selling point, right, yeah, But then me and him broke up, unfortunately, but I still wanted to get in the hot tub. So I hit the guys up and they were into me. So I drive up to Santa Fe. I go hang out with them. I'm like sitting in their living room for a little bit. You know, we're having the chat beforehand, we're getting to know each other a little bit. So I'm like, come up to the bedroom. I think it's time. And it

Right.

At least he's self aware, right, No, right, right? Right? So this is not where I thought this story was going. This might be the wildest story we had. You're like, I thought the pigamog may he was into raunch but he's actually a cop.

So so I get upstairs and they're like, are you into handcuffs? And I go, I've never tried, but I guess i'd be open to it. And he's like, well, you know, I'm a police officer. So he pulls out his like police grade handcuffs.

Right, I'm sorry, not the state sponsored handcuffs.

Okay, all right, So I'm on all fours. I then get onto like my chest, knees up right, I guess, butt up on my knees on all fours. I'm trying to paint the picture. Hands, please do, please do paint the picture for us. Hands behind me. They fucked me for all of like five minutes. Like there was like an hour and a half build up. They fucked me for all of five minutes exactly, and there was there

I'm all, but.

What about the hot tub?

And they didn't let you back into the hot tub, so there was no hot tub.

I drove home with a load in my butt, and did you tell your excess story?

No, he doesn't know.

Oh so if he's a viewer listener of the pod, maybe he'll reach out.

Well he might now, Miss Albuquerque if you recognize Walker and you know what happened. I appreciate the referral, but it didn't turn out as expected. I'm so sorry, God, I'm so sorry for you. Thank you. I really need all the sympathy I can get. Maybe y'all better ask follow up questions when you see the PIGAMOCHI. That's all I'm saying again. I want to thank our guest today, Leo and Jordan and the team over at Animal in Brooklyn.