well hello all you beautiful people you know what time it is [Music] ladies and gents guys and dolls and everyone in between gather round get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on because it's time for smut club here's your hosts chelsea and hannah [Music] hello everybody hi welcome to to this day's episode of smut club um we've missed you we have and we miss you so much and we missed our girl j.s scott jan so much we decided we needed to review
the third book in the billionaire series um this is going to be a joint review and honestly we're just gonna need to take a break from her after this because we were like we've committed thus far and we just have but damn i feel like they're already painful and then you re-read them and they don't they don't get better with time and age no they they don't if anything the plot holes become more gaping yeah that's a fair i when i was kind of doing my reread of
this book because i knew we were going to be recording it i just i had far more questions than answers yep as we went along and i find myself identifying with the female characters less and less because i'm like i can't can't relate man i'm kind of like have a backbone and maybe believe in yourself a little bit yeah because all of these women are like you've already heard how we felt about mara mar okay it was mara and jared and then the first one was dante and sarah
and then the the prequel that i haven't read but i think you've read hannah i have is grady and emily and that actually is important for this one so that actually is an excellent segue into our prologue we start our prologue for the billionaire's touch is is this one the the forbidden billionaire the billionaire's touch i don't know the billionaire's feather i'm just making [ __ ] up i'm sure it'll be one at some point i don't remember the first one um no ordinary billionaires no ordinary
billionaire well and then i think the pre the prequel was a billionaire's christmas because i think we forgot they have money sprinkle a little hallmark in there so okay so in the prequel with grady and emily the whole thing is that emily was dating this guy emily is the director you may hear brandon my dog y'all i'm sorry brandon has no boundaries he just wants to be a part of everything we're always doing we we even gave him some cbd treats this morning and he is not vibing yet so
these things happen it's okay he's just gonna live his best life with his little clicky clacks on the wood he literally got his he went to the groomer and they ground his nails yesterday so i'm dumbfounded and impressed i mean he knows what he's about so anyway so the whole thing with the prequel is emily who is the director of the youth center in ames port was dating this guy who stole all the christmas money oh my stars and so she's super upset and she goes to grady to try to get the money
i just i i just need y'all to know um so hannah's feet don't touch the ground we're at a table and my like my breakfast i'm not that short she really isn't that short but also these chairs aren't very tall so i'm not quite sure what what the disconnect is um but my husband had gone to the liquor store earlier this week and i was like hey could you pick up a bottle of diplomatico rem because it's delicious and wonderful and if you haven't tried it you should we also weren't sponsored
by diplomatico it would be cooler if we were but the bottle he picked up had this great gift set and it came with these two like diplomatic glasses and it was a very fancy looking gift set because they didn't just have a bottle they had a gift set for the same price so now we have the glasses um but because hannah's feet don't touch the ground my husband just snuck into the room and slid the box at the diplomatico and the glasses came in under her feet so she would have a stool
and that is what just happened i was like is brandon behind me or something i'm just gonna pretend that's not happening but it was just vance and no it wasn't the dog it was just chelsea's husband coming in with a footstool i guess i'm very comfortable thank you vance so anyway so the prequel grady and emily right and emily is over the community center in aim sport right so emily is trying to figure out how to get the money for christmas because apparently despite all the billionaires
all over the place in this tiny main town they don't have a lot of money and so some of these kids like this is their only christmas tears whatever so she goes to grady to ask him for money and so all that is in the prequel why that's important for the prologue is her best friend randy decides that she is going to email the sinclair foundation to request a no one's donation just like the general foundation to shoot her shot and just like contact sinclair foundation dot org or whatever
sinclair foundation dot org like nothing is personal about this but she's like i'm just gonna email this whole foundation and be like you don't know me but we're this tiny town in maine called aimsport and like she signs it what it like she signs a concerned citizen or something it was kind of very like allah like sleeping in salat sleeping in selattle y'all sleeping in seattle yes yes so she did sign it um concerned in ames port i guess um so yeah concerned resident of aimsport
and she's emailing from a generic email address at the youth center because she volunteers there well she's emailing from her email account yes but her full name is miranda but she goes by randy well but that's not in the email address it's not it's like a like a generic one that she uses through the foundation that is not connected to her name that's how she stays anonymous well damn y'all i just thought it was because it was m something clearly y'all i've read this book twice
and i couldn't bring myself to give a [ __ ] about the finer details so so glad we have hannah for these you're welcome um i'm i'm a sponge so so she sends this email that is like please help us you know blah blah blah and then multiple months later right no one has responded she forgot about the email grady saves christmas anyway um we know that because of the prequel and sorry if we ruined it for you spoilers um and so then the eldest sinclair brother is going through the emails for some
evan reason evan and let's let's not forget evan was very prominent in mara and jared's book he was he rescued mara from the fire in her house um and then made out like he was he was coming after her yeah jared was not into that he like made a power play so his brother wouldn't be a [ __ ] and would just ask out the girl that he liked so that's what we know about evan he's serious he wears suits exclusively exclusively like almost like barney stinson on how i met your mother like the way they
described evan i was like does he do it i'm like does he have a silk sleep suit because that is the energy they are giving them think about that i was like does he have does he have like flannel pajama bottoms or is this are we like what sort of sleepwear i imagine it's a flannel suit with a flannel tie i'm just gonna agree with that because i want it to be true so evan reads this email and he's like the audacity and so he responds and is like uh why would you ever
think that we would help you like that's the dumbest [ __ ] i've ever heard we helped like people with real problems not small towns for christmas yeah we're not your personal santa or some [ __ ] or he said something about like next time direct these sorts of requests to the north pole or something like that like snarky like we'd help people with real problems like not people like in a town that's not even on a map or like [ __ ] like that and randy is like i guess audacity was on sale and she
snaps back and so she she gets a map and highlights aim support on it and attaches it to the email and like does a whole thing and he's like i'm into that but they never sign their names right on these emails so that is the prologue yes they are starting to develop this relationship we do find like as their pen pal relationship continues they each sign it with a letter and so she's signing hers with m like her sign off in her email says m for miranda this is what i was getting
confused with her email and then evan is signing his off with s for sinclair would you know be everyone's logical guess here yep so um i guess i know i mean honestly i don't even know like these books are a disaster you guys we're really doing our best so you know who didn't do their best the bot that wrote these like if i have to read the phrase elemental desire one more time i will lose it we'll get there so anyway um it the book opens with evan coming to town on his jet for his sister's ball
she's throwing some kind of a party yeah like so there's like a a bigger ball that happened we are children um there's like a bigger ball that happens at the end of the book but then like i think hope had just had a kid that's the sister and so he was like was coming to meet the sister or not meet the sister nephew meet the nephew and his cousin micah sinclair hitched a ride on his plane and he has the next book that we won't be reviewing until next year we're that's that sounds like a
2023 review because maybe a late 2022 but lord help us i i don't know if i can bring myself to do more of these yeah so they are coming in and um i don't know what i don't even know what's happening well like they're coming in and like it's honestly just a lot of like evan in his head and then he's like and i don't even he's like yeah like i mean like i want to see my sister he's like but i hope i don't have to see randy and her like she's always so annoying in her stupid face but like
kind of in this like her stupid cute face that i just want to kiss is kind of like the energy behind it i don't know am i misreading that no you're right so so evan and randy have been paired up in all of the weddings um that have happened with all of his siblings so they're constantly being thrown together and so and he's like she hates me she either is completely ignoring me or she's insulting me but then she's also like i tried to talk to you and be friends with
you and you didn't respond and were kind of a dick about it so i let go of that dream and just figured you didn't like me and it is what it is i was a dick back right so we have evan coming to town and then where randy's story is starting off is her foster mother recently passed away yes um about a month prior yeah like within like a very very recent passing um and she had told her pen pal about this passing yeah um and then the pen pal discloses that he is going to be in maine and
she's like oh my gosh wait he's going to be in aimsport and then she's like what do we do and then she's like there's a storm coming did you know that the weather's gonna get bad and then she's like okay well have a good time i have a date with arando who the rando is liam something liam and tessa own the lobster the lobster roll shack sullivan's um something or other seafood or something i don't [ __ ] know but we love alliteration so we were both gonna guess it we do i'm
sullivan steak and seafood that's the one so we do love some good alliteration so randy is talking to her pen pal he knows all about her recent grief and they have this ongoing joke that they always talk on date nights because they're both homebodies and never go out and he she's like i have to sign off and he's like got a hot date and she was like i don't know if it's gonna be hot but yes she's like i do actually have a date and he's like what yeah but she doesn't know he's in ames
port she just knows he's in maine um and he says he's visiting family yes i guess you're right he she just i remember her like like it's saying in the book that she was like he's here in my head i'm like wow she really knew aimsport but you're entirely right she's just been in this state i mean maine's not that big is it it's not that small that's fair well also something we need to know i'm pretty sure when evan was on the plane he is um touching for comfort the stone oh yeah um
that beatrice sent him with a letter that he was gonna be married within six months yes and i don't know if y'all remember this or honestly if we mentioned it because it's a weird aside of all of these books but like beatrice has given each of these couples in each of these js got billionaire books um matching stones and she's like i it's gonna be your soulmate and i know it and so then she so evan is like reminiscing on this and like has the stone in his pocket and he's like
well i doubt it but i'm not gonna like be mean to this old lady and then randy um beatrice took it a step further she like told her her mom would like her mom would die but then she'd find love yeah she was like she will not survive the winter but she will find love or some [ __ ] i don't know and i'm like i also like beatrice was in the last book just like kicking it at the farmer's market yeah and in her like bray pink tracksuit and she has another older friend whose
name i'm forgetting something with an e elise or something or maybe i don't it doesn't matter agnes i don't it could be it's a it's a name that starts with a vowel that's all we know here's the thing we're really trying to like we've both reread this but we did and we are struggling this much to get through it so all right um randy tells the dude her pen pal that she does not know is evan that she has a date she's like i don't know if it'll be hot but i'm going on this date and then
um and i'm i think she says i'm going for coffee then evan decides to go to the coffee shop because he's like maybe i'll like see someone on a date and i'll like be able to figure out who my pen pal is because he doesn't know it's randy at this point either and he's like i'm not just gonna sit here like a loser i'll just go to the coffee shop and be a bigger loser but then he gets to the coffee shop and he's like i don't know why i thought this was a good idea i'm just gonna leave so he
literally just went to the coffee shop ordered a coffee and then and then decided to leave but in the snow in the snow but as he's stepping out the door he just like stops in the walkway yeah and then someone crashes into his back and supposedly what no one saw this coming randy um so she spilled her mocha all down his back well and then i don't know he's kind of a douche like he really is like she's like oh my gosh i'm so sorry okay yeah and he's like it's my favorite
coat and she's like i'll pay to have it cleaned and then he's like like like she could afford to get like a coat of this quality cleaned on a teacher's salary but then like the dude loki's like i have the exact same coat like i have a duplicate of it yeah i already own two so it's not the end of the world if if this one doesn't come together i'm almost like you're a billionaire how much can you love this [ __ ] coat right why like why the attachment right and maybe it's because of his you know
his special needs we'll get there we'll learn about his special needs later in a very confusing way that i still don't really feel like i learned about his special needs and so then randy crashes into him um he doesn't realize who she is we don't quite know what happened yet but she crashed into him and then he insists on like walking her to her car and he's like it's not safe he's like it's snowing anything could happen and she's like [ __ ] i live in maine like
yeah she's like this is not los angeles like i can walk down the street you nut yeah she's like it's a very safe area it's just some snow i know how to live in snow and evan is like i'd rip my own heart out before i let anything happen to her and you're like where is this coming that is a strong reaction so he does he walks her back to the vehicle and then just decides to pin her against it and make out with her a little bit well and they also realize that they have matching stones from
beatrice oh right right right because he like insists on taking her car keys to open the door for her or something and like they like fall out of her purse i don't really remember but then like what you have an apache cheer i having a patch each year oh my stars and then evan's like come to come to hope's party with me the sisters party and then randy's like i think we should pretend this didn't happen and as she's trying to say it like evan like shushes her like puts his fingers over
her lips in his sentence and it's like no we're going to this party together and she's like okay she's like well i guess since he put his finger to my lips and wouldn't let me talk i have a date to the party now so romantic right so all right then randy gets home from this exchange um oh we we forgot so randy was supposed to be meeting her blind date at this coffee shop he stood her up which we do learn in the future he was sick yes he was sick and didn't have her contact info which i don't
understand how that can happen in modern day i guess he had her home phone number but his sister was the one who set it all up so he didn't have randy's cell phone number which again like as previously mentioned the the gaping plot holes only become more confounding well i'm also like who has a home phone yeah i'm like what era is this book set in because like social media you could slide into her dms and be like hey so sorry i'm sick like i feel like you have options you do um
and how far back do we have to go for this book to have taken place where you didn't have those options i don't know but regardless she did not have her date and so she she reaches out to her pen pal and she says she basically talks about making out with evan but she doesn't name him she just says my date wasn't there there was this other guy that i hate he was there he kissed me i don't know i feel really weird about it and evan's like um no you need someone who's gonna treat you right
like absolutely not do not give this guy the time of day that's [ __ ] but then also is like we should meet and she's like no yeah so evan is [ __ ] on himself unknowingly unknowingly shooting at himself it's a whole thing and then we cut to like the blizzard is getting worse and um and evan decides to ask his sister hope to go to the grocery store with him to buy randy supplies to make it through the blizzard because she lives a little bit further out of town yes and he's worried
about her trying to drive in her purple suv i don't know why that like stuck in my brain i was like this do they even make those is that a custom paint job what the [ __ ] whatever her purple suv he's concerned that it won't make the trek because it's a smaller sport utility vehicle so i also just i i i don't know he has a lot of money so he doesn't really have any problems let's also note that like when he decides to deliver all of these things to randy he
has the sinclair family's personal plow and go out on the road in front of him that's right that's right so that he could make sure the roads were clear and i'm like how much are you spending on a personal plow but he's a billionaire so he doesn't he does whatever he wants but there so he's at the store with his sister and they are buying um sorry chelsea's cat is trying to get into our boda box of wine and again while we are not sponsored by bota box it'd be a lot cooler if we were
we have an empty and a half md on the table because that's where we're at today well you know how it goes when you get to the bottom of the box but you still got one so you gotta take the bladder out to do what you gotta do for some more wine and so i took the bladder out and my cat is fully grown at only six pounds bless up craig he's a permanent kitten but he is he's trying to get into the top of the boat a box um because he knows if it if he fits he sits it is very much his energy in life
good for you craig live the dream right okay so evan is at the grocery store with hope buying supplies for randy including dog food which will wind up being relevant later yes and then hope keeps like putting things in the cart and then evan keeps taking about and being like these are all so unhealthy and she's like well you asked me what randy's favorites were and she has really poor nutritional understanding so right she likes all of this [ __ ] put it back in the cart and then as hope and
evan are just talking about randy um hope calls her miranda yeah she calls her miranda and then evan starts to like realize like wait do what and then he's like did did her mother like her foster mother recently pass away and he's like oh my gosh how did you know that and oh [ __ ] and then he like has this big epiphany moment where he realizes that they are indeed pen pals um and then his sister's like sum things up like this is very unlike evan so then evan
spills his guts to his sister not just about randy about a bunch of childhood trauma yeah um and stuff that was very misdiagnosed um yeah and we don't find out what that is yet no but he just goes on and on about it's like sweetheart she was asking you about your [ __ ] pen pal why are you telling her about being beaten regularly as a child like how did we get here well damn hannah way to turn the page i mean i mean we're gonna get there for sure um but then hope is like
okay i'll help you land randy and so then they mention it later in the book because then suddenly evan starts wearing normal clothes that aren't suits and hope took him shopping for normal clothes so he would seem more approachable yes and she did tell him you need to tell her who you are right then that you are her pen pal yes right now and he was like okay right so then evan gets to randy's house with all of these supplies right as the power goes out at randy's house because
of the blizzard and oh no and it's randy and her dog and what's a girl to do and her generator's not working right she she didn't have time to get it looked at because her foster mother recently passed away and so i just love that this is the third book in a row in this billionaire series where like in the first like 30 of the book some [ __ ] goes sideways and the girl just has to go stay with the guy yeah well she's like i can go get a room at the end and he's like no well
well yeah because he was i think she was on the phone with hope at first when he was getting there and so she's like no let evan take you back to the sinclair peninsula because they all have their homes on the and guest houses yes and these guest houses and all of them have their the siblings all have homes at the sinclair she makes up some weird [ __ ] about you can't stay with hope she just had a baby and he she's like yeah but her guest house he's like nah
well and i'm also like the way they've described all these houses and former books and like each of these houses is at least 10 000 square feet not including the guest house right how big is this [ __ ] peninsula how big is the baby no guest rooms available there's no room in the end so and then she's like well i i i have to bring lily who is her dog and he's like she she can't stay here and randy is like no i can't just leave my dog at home in a blizzard and he's like okay i guess
well and then all right on there i think it's like on their drive back to the peninsula i was like this is where i just was really like evan is a complete piece of [ __ ] where he's like oh so like um did your foster mother recently pass away hope hope told me she passed i'm like [ __ ] no you knew because you're her pen pal and this was the prime opportunity to tell her that you'd put these pieces together and instead you completely lied to her face and i didn't really respect you in the first
place and i am quickly losing no i wouldn't say what minimal respect i had there was no respect left because there was none to start with it's bottoming out and then i don't remember how it happens exactly but randy is emailing with her pen pal who is evan again and says something about um this guy that the pen pal originally was like stay the [ __ ] away from that guy and now he's like you should really give him a chance right and so then you're like evan is
emailing her being like no you should really give your you should meet your pen pal and you're like you are truly the worst but i also love that like while all of this is going on like randy and evan are kind of like i guess like we need to like clear the air and she was like i just wanted to be your friend and he goes i'm sorry i hurt your feelings and she goes okay i forgive you and then he's like i'm going to call you miranda i'm like and she's like please don't and then they bone
yeah and then she's like i don't do oral but then he also doesn't clarify if that's giving or receiving and then just goes down on him yeah he's like i'm assuming because it's from his perspective at that point he's like i'm assuming that you did not mean that you weren't game to receive but doesn't clarify and doesn't ask so i kind of feel like there were like three strikes you're out right in a row yeah and like who respects you yeah like as the leader of the sinclair
felt like i'm like how do you whatever i'm [ __ ] him this is how i feel about evan throughout this entire book i was just like i was like yeah another example of fm being a complete piece of [ __ ] it was like how i felt most of it kelsey has a lot of feelings you guys about evan i really do i'm like you are the worst he is well and i'm like it's hard to read in a book that's essentially a love story and not be rooting for them at any point no and then so then he so they they don't even
make it into the house really or into the bedroom they they [ __ ] on the couch and then he leaves her there because she fell asleep and he goes down to his office and has the dog with him and he's like dogs are pretty cool like sitting there petting her and then after he's like should we just leave your dog in the middle of a storm right oh he's like no now that i've been around one not so good so then he hears a scream oh no and he's like i will kill anything
that's made her scream and like runs up the stairs and randy is having a nightmare and so lily goes up and is waking her up did i skip something i think we i think we skipped but honestly it's all the same i like i don't because like she fell asleep and then when she woke up he'd fed her dog steak oh yeah i forgot about the state and then we honestly maybe that is what happens next but we cut in the book to like just all of the sinclair siblings where like hope takes it upon herself to have a
powwow with all of her siblings to disclose their older brother's childhood trauma that he hasn't [ __ ] told anyone about and she's like i just felt like they all needed to know i'm like that is not how that works she's like he didn't tell me not to say anything so must be kosher right and then micah cousin micah has a meet cute with ted with tessa where she's cleaning and he was showering and then she didn't hear him and then he's like what are you deaf or something and then she's like
yeah i actually am deaf you you other piece of [ __ ] and he's like claire pieces of [ __ ] the sinclair shits he's like oh no yeah he's like oh my bad i feel really shitty but i know asl so we can we can go forward with that this person who knows asl is just chilling being super ableist about this poor woman who's deaf and is like oh well let me do some sign like what whatever no honestly all of these characters but then you're right then randy's having a nightmare and then evan finds her
and then i honestly then he she tells him about her childhood trauma yeah is that what happens in her adoption yeah but like so and he's just pretending like he's never heard any of this as his pimpo well some of it he hadn't heard because she discloses that her mother was a prostitute she doesn't know who her father was they lived in a building of prostitutes that was close to her mom's corner and all these women kind of looked after her and stuff as she was growing up and then
when she was like 11 or 12 or something her mother was murdered and just never came home and so these other prostitutes were looking after her while her mom was gone and then dfax family services shows up and it's like you're going to foster care which obviously turned out really well for her because then she was he tried to force her into the foster father try to force her into oral sex because he knew her mother was a prostitute right so that's that's part
of it is that in her nightmare she kept saying over and over again i'm not a [ __ ] i'm not a [ __ ] and evan's like what the [ __ ] is happening right now and so she tells evan all of this and explains that she ran away at that point and was living on the streets and did some pretty terrible things to eat they're not that terrible she like stole some stuff which is totally fair when you're starving i feel like yeah i mean i feel like we all judge people until we're in that situation and
then it's very justified but she tried to steal from who ended up being her foster parents and they caught her red-handed while she was trying to steal from them oh this was in california by the way yes and then they took her back and they like pretended that they were like long-lost relatives who did have custody also did we actually ever clarify what evan's trauma is no so evan [Music] is dyslexic um that said the way his dyslexia is described throughout the book um
reads very much akin to how the dsm would describe the autism spectrum yeah just in a way where like parts of it you're like yes that is a symptom of dyslexia in other parts of it you're like that feels like we're reaching yeah so like obviously switching up letters difficulty with reading comprehension difficulty with number sequences um and like math in general can be part of it but then it's like and and that's why he has a hard time understanding jokes and it's like that's not he can't
read social cues that's not it yes and so there's pretty much all of evan's like childhood trauma is based around him having dyslexia right which he doesn't tell her yet yes he does not tell her this but we're like we're we've gotten pieces of this from the conversation with hope and the conversation they had after than the conversation she had with her siblings but randy does not know about this yet right um but then all of his siblings are like treading lightly because
they didn't know then they feel bad because he was abused as a child by his dad because of his difficulties including like withholding food from him and really restricting his diet and stuff like that because i guess he's a little bit chubby so that's why he eats the way that he does he won't eat anything that's like carb heavy or sugar heavy oh yeah his coffee order yeah was like a black coffee yeah something like that well honestly that makes a that makes more sense i couldn't
remember why i felt it was worth noting because my next line on this book says feeds him cake they get naked this is the description so she makes spaghetti and he's like this is a lot of carbs and he's she's like you should eat it and then he explains that his dad like withheld food from him and now he understands why she eats with such gusto because she knows what it's like to be hungry and then she feeds him the cake that she made and it's very sensual and
then they got naked and then she saw his scars from his abuse yeah and then like now they have that trust there right so now she gives him a [ __ ] and he's like no don't you don't like it and then right and she's like maybe with you i do yeah and i'm like this isn't how trauma works you guys that's not oh god in heaven i just can't i just it stresses me out so bad yeah so then while they're boning there's like one of those moments where he's like you're mine say you're
mine and i'm like one of these weird claiming moments and they realize afterwards they didn't use a condom and then she's like it's okay i'm clean and then he's like yeah i wasn't really worried about you being clean i was worried about like accidentally knocking you up and she's like damn and then she's like oh he doesn't see a future with me right and like he's like he doesn't want to knock up a [ __ ] daughter and like like wow we really leaping like have you seen like those like memes
where they're like don't jump to conclusions and then it's me jumping to conclusions and it's like someone like on one of those like three-story trampolines like this is what it feels like here he's like i was just worried about getting you pregnant she's like i knew he wouldn't want to get a horse daughter pregnant and you're like i really don't think it had anything to do with your upbringing i just think like he didn't want to have children that's more believable for how
trauma works than just suddenly being cool with a bj like that's more in line with how trauma works so at least she got something halfway bright hey there's my puppies we'll get you right back to the show in just a moment but first do you like us maybe even love us cause we sure love you and if you do love us don't tease us tell us in those ratings and reviews wherever you're listening right now maybe even send us over to a special sexy someone that would enjoy getting smutty with us
because you know the first rule of smug club is to talk about smut club all right i won't keep you any longer let's get back to the show [Music] so then so then she's like shutting down and evan's like what ha what is happening so he goes to his brothers right yep he goes to the brothers who have all had these books and so now they all think they're relationship experts and then he tells them what he said and all of his brothers are like wait you [ __ ] said that
you should start groveling like do you realize how that came off and he's like no and then he's like i just didn't he's like well like dyslexia's genetic and so i didn't wanna i don't have children because i don't want them to like relive my upbringing right i don't want to curse future generations right and so then his brothers are like yeah you still need to like explain this to her or she's going to think it's about her so then randy while she's a teacher third grade
is that did i make that third grade elementary age teacher yeah and then she volunteers at the community center doing tutoring for special needs yes for special needs kids and so she is at the community center in one of her tutoring sessions and then realizes like evan is leaning against the wall watching her and then he starts being like it's gonna take him like four times longer for word recognition this much longer for this and then like starts telling randy all the stuff and she's
like oh [ __ ] he knows all this because he also has dyslexia but she's also like i know that because i have a masters in special needs education thank you you know that too honestly low-key remind like the mansplaining yeah which like i get that it was like a first-hand experience yeah um no that reminds me of when i had an ex-boyfriend trying um he had been diagnosed with anxiety and then was this is when i was working crisis and so i'd like work a 12-hour shift and then
at the end of the day and big how's your date and he's like horrible i'm like really because i had someone spit blood on me today so tell me how how horrible your day was i have to get tested for hiv for the next six weeks because for six months because you know yes and then he was like i was just like i don't exactly remember what happened i remember he started trying to mansplain to me the connection between depression and anxiety and i was like i have a [ __ ]
degree in this i'm licensed in this it's literally my [ __ ] job hey you 22 year old college musician barista i mean no judgment but also judgment but also everyone i dated when i was single so there is that no they weren't all in college there were age there was an age there was an age but yes i just remember he really tried to mansplain depression and anxiety to me and i'm like this is offensive on so many levels um and also i don't give a [ __ ] that you had a bad day because
in maslow's hierarchy of needs you're doing great kids yeah yeah my empathy is gone get away from me right and that was also probably when i knew we shouldn't be dating i'm like i don't give a [ __ ] about your bad day and that's a bad sign it is yeah right yeah i'm like maybe we shouldn't be dating if i'm like i do not care that you had a bad day um all right so going back to evan mansplaining dyslexia to someone with a degree in exceptional education and then randy's response is like well
i'll help you find your happiness yeah he's like that's why i didn't want to have i didn't want to get you pregnant and she's like what oh well you you wouldn't be your dad you have so many resources this child would be so loved and whatever sorry i don't i still just like i don't give a [ __ ] about evan but we're here so then it's very much like your ex it feels like she's like i don't give a [ __ ] right you're not wrong um so then evan emails randy as her secret
pen pal is like so what's your favorite flower like i'm like how this girl has not pieced this together at this point is well because he was thinking i'm gonna send her flowers to write whatever wrong i've committed but i don't know what kind of flower she likes so i guess i'm [ __ ] well no i understand his motivations i just still think it's really obvious that he's the pen pal it is kind of yeah and she just like really has not put those pieces together but then it's like he asked
he asked her what her favorite flowers are and then he's like oh it's like how are things going with the guy and she's like not knowing it's evan she's like it's not that serious he's leaving town like i'm just having fun we're like it is what it is and it's fun for now and but like evan like keeps fishing and but she's like he's leaving after this week so there's really nothing else going on and then we cut to another micah and tessa scene which i'm like i yeah he goes to sullivan's steak and
seafood to eat and to just watch her be there i guess and is like i'm super into that and her brother liam who stood up randy on the date previously is like stay the [ __ ] away from my sister she's been through enough she's handicapped and he's like she looks fine to me bro maybe you should simmer down but i'm also like if they're gonna get their own book i don't know why we keep did she not have enough for this book so she started throwing scenes in for the
must be it must be because they do get their own book and i did read it and i regret it deeply every time i read another one of these i'm like i regret my choice they're like palette cleansers for me after i've read something really heavy i read another one of these [ __ ] videos that's how i read them too i'm like i'm like oh i just read a really good really thought-provoking book i should read some more js scott yeah it's like i just had this incredible meal and now i need
a bonbon that i'm gonna forget that i ate in 10 minutes like that's what i need and that's what these books are like they're just like not even in an entire dessert they're kind of like cotton candy yes it's exactly like cotton like they just disappear you're like that was fun but like that was very short-lived yep and there's a little bit of an aftertaste and you're like yeah you drink some water and you're good you have a slight stomachache after and you don't know why
so all right randy's favorite flowers are calla lilies yes and then she goes to her foster mother's grave yes and foster father because they're they're both deceased at this point you are correct both of them are deceased both of their graves she goes and there are calla lilies on the grave with a thank you card attached she's like who would be thanking them and like leaving kel and like i'm like [ __ ] can you really like are you do you like do you have do you have
dyslexia i mean i wasn't gonna make that joke i got to say are you teaching the third graders or are they teaching you well and like somebody shoveled the walkway to their gravesite and like cleared the snow and left a single calla lily with a thank you note right and then it's just this like poignant scene where like randy is crying and it's like i think i can start healing again now and we're like just like beatrice with her [ __ ] patchy tearstone predicted um
so then there's a family like evan like the sinclair siblings are all gathering evan's siblings are all hanging out and everyone's noting like oh like evan's like chill and like seems happier and is eating carbs um and randy is there yeah and randy's there and like talking to them about this progress and they're like obviously you're in love with him and she's like no right she keeps denying it and then they do like she in helping evan find his happiness they do some yoga together
they try to do meditation meditation and then she just like [ __ ] him and that's the message she's like no close your eyes and lay on your back and then she just like hops on his dick and she's like take deep breaths he's like if this is what meditation is i'm into it right well i also just remember mid meditation evan started telling randy about like her childhood abuser being dead oh yeah i remember thought about it because evan was like i need a name to know who try
and forced you into sex acts when you were in foster care um and so then he i'm like what were you gonna do evan were you gonna hire a hit man like so he would have done it himself with his bare hands [Laughter] i'm a man could he order himself a plane ticket that's all i'm wondering i mean he has a private jet you're right yeah the dyslexia has no impact on his flight status he has assistance for that yes the perks of being a millionaire billionaire not just a millionaire
because the last book in this series you guys is only a millionaire just for the record what the [ __ ] just for the record who fell out of the family will no that one's about liam how is liam a millionaire don't worry about it he co-owns a restaurant in a small town because he used to be a stuntman in hollywood and developed all of these like i don't know what they are these like devices and things to make stunts safer for movies and so he's collecting royalties and made bank so
anyway yes don't ever besmirch the sinclair name by using the m word the m word millionaire um yes so mid-meditation evan is like i just want you to know i did some research and your childhood abuser is dead he did and so then she's like okay lay on your back and we'll do some meditations obviously the meditation we're trying is not effective so let me try it with your dick inside me right i'm like that's that's not i mean if you're gonna do like tantric yoga then do tantric yoga
don't be weird all i'm saying is when i used to live in nashville i once led a meditation seminar at a local library and i led them through several different types of meditation and let me tell you this was not one we did at the library at no point i was like all right lay on your back take out your dick and for the record in case it hasn't been made obvious by all of our previous episodes we're very kink affirming right there's no shaming here like none like live your truth it is entirely okay
i also didn't want to get arrested um at the public library also my husband was not in attendance and i feel like there would have been a lot of questions if i let a meditation hour at the library can i get a volunteer and he's like i'm like hey honey i got arrested because apparently the type of meditation we did at the library was too progressive um right so there's meditation sex and then what happens after that like i don't really feel like there was much plot
there there's none it's just like and then we disclosed we were abused and then we [ __ ] and then we go to a party and then we [ __ ] and then we well and then oh that's what happened um evan as pen pal evan randy still does not know that evan is her pen pal because he is a mystery piece of [ __ ] and also she has no deductive reasoning skills honestly it's on both of them at this point um but he like pen pal evan emails her and is like oh it's like how's it going with your like new guy
like did you change your mind about like if it could be more and then she says like i could never love um i could never fall in love with a man like him um but then like as soon as she sends the email she's like i was lying to myself because i'm already in love with a man like him but then obviously like evan is gonna be salty about that he goes into a full tail spin about it so they previously the um the party the ball that hope was throwing had to be postponed because of
the storm so it's finally the day of the ball is that what happened yeah i could not bring myself you had notes i took note of the things i thought were important and that's why i wrote down meditation sex i did not write down priorities the ball was delayed due to the blizzard priorities so then anyway they're getting ready they go um oh stoke's the driver so they get into the evans bentley or rolls or whatever the [ __ ] he's driving or not driving he has a driver and um
randy's like what's your driver's first name and he's like i don't know she's like is he a new employee and he's like no he's been with me for years and she's like are you serious right now and so she finds out the man's name is jerry he is very advanced in age he has six children and three grandchildren i just made that [ __ ] up i don't know i think it was the opposite i think he had three children and six grandchildren and like two great grandchildren i don't know i did not take notes
well apparently i didn't take notes on the right things that's why we do joint reviews because they work obviously so she finds out all this personal information about him and finds out that like his daughter was sick and evan giving him a job like saved his daughter's life and he's like i'm gonna drive for him until i can't drive anymore and evan's like wow i'm a dick i can't believe that randy found out this information that quickly oh we've left out that at some point
randy explains to evan that only her mother ever called her miranda and it's very like it's a trauma trigger for people to call her miranda and he's like son of a [ __ ] i will never call her miranda i literally do not remember this happening i don't remember when it happened i just remember that happening because i was like also i just don't like it when people don't use the names that they request to be called like why are you going to do that i don't like she's
like i go by randy and he's like i'm calling you miranda she's like it'd be a lot cooler if you didn't and he's like i don't give a [ __ ] because i'm a caveman yeah he's like maybe you'll like it when i'm moaning it when i make you come and she's like probably not generous offer still gonna pass on being called miranda still a no for me thanks so they go to the ball yeah they get to the ball and then i'm not sure where evan went but liam asks randy to dance yeah he just didn't
ask her and he also doesn't drink ever but decides tonight's the night after he sees her dancing with liam yes and he's like she smiled at him like like goes full [ __ ] caveman at no point like i'm like hey you could have just walked up and been like may i cut in but instead like his brothers are like holding him back because he's like fight me bro she's mine i can't believe anyone would encroach on my territory grabbing his lapels and like shoving him and liam's like bro dude what is happening
like i just was trying to apologize for standing her up can you not be who you are right now right like it was there was nothing like sexual happening but her dress was low-cut in the back and his hand was on her bare skin or something i don't know um i don't know if that's true but it feels right that i said it i agree it does feel right that you said it because i think in my head there's like a 70 chance that that's what happened because i really just didn't care
and then like randy and evan leave the main room and go to a bathroom for a confrontation and because one of the brothers is like randy you need to get him out of here and calm him down and she's like bet on it and then she takes him and [ __ ] him in the bathroom well and i i don't really remember what happened i just remember there being really dramatic like we can't have forever but we can have tonight so i'm like so so [ __ ] me in the community center bathroom is that what
we're going with the peak of romance so well my husband's birthday is next month and i was taking some time off work so instead of planning a trip somewhere i'm just going to find our nearest community center bathroom if that's the peak of romance noted obviously my husband's birthday just passed and i did it wrong so our anniversary however is coming up we were gonna take a trip and go see slipknot in concert but i will cancel that immediately as you should this is also far more
economically priced because community centers have to be open to the map so accurate instead of going out of state for a slipknot context also another thing i just want to mention oh god because yeah no that's how i feel about everything in this book i'm like oh [ __ ] another thing to mention she's like wearing her dress and then in the bathroom [ __ ] she's like has her silk stockings and her garter belt and i'm like are garter belts just real i know we've
talked about this before but are garter belts just way more common than i'm realizing because like there's a peak of sex appeal and i've never i have never personally worn a garter belt never and yet they're acting like you can pick them up in a five pack at walmart i've never looked you're like maybe you could i mean i can neither confirm nor deny i've never worn one but i've also never looked to purchase one i've never tried no i'm not disputing they can be sexy sure
maybe i am in some situation i mean like but you really think about it it's like it's just a weird band that goes around your waist like why yeah and i have i have a weird weirdly proportioned tips for that so i don't think i'll ever wear one but that's a story for another time noted well okay so then during this like garter belt silk stocking community center bathroom sex well he [ __ ] her from behind so they can look at each other in the mirror as as true love takes place we do need to make
note for your anniversary my husband's birthday um but then she like she says i like she like tells him i love you like while she's coming she like screams i love you right which i'm also like this community center is full of people for a [ __ ] party and nobody hears the [ __ ] fest well grady paid a lot of money to renovate it so i imagine there was sound proofing obviously that would be the first because a billionaire came in and soundproofed the community center
bathrooms so him and his siblings could bone in there top priority yes exactly so she's like as she's orgasming she's like screaming her love for him and then he's straight up like well then how come you said you could never love a man like me and she's like i never said that she's like what the [ __ ] are you talking about and then she's like oh what you're my pen pal son of a [ __ ] what and then she gets upset and is because he's like well how could you say that
and like how could you say could never love a man like me and then she's like because how could i love a man that doesn't exist which is just the dumbest thing ever and she was like she didn't say she's like i didn't say i didn't love a man like you i said that i couldn't because you're leaving you're going to leave me and you're a billionaire and i'm a [ __ ] daughter and there is clearly never a future for us so all i can think about when the it's like the [ __ ] daughter whatever is the
store the junk man because there is a a franchise called the junk man's daughter in five points in atlanta and i used to love it there i used to go there all the time so every time she's like the [ __ ] daughter i'm like the junk man's daughter and that's not it doesn't make sense but neither does the book so you're like so it's on brand so it tracks so randy leaves she runs out disheveled disheveled and stokes the driver is like i'll take you home and she's like no evan's gonna need a ride and
he's like yeah evan can wait for once in his life you're a sobbing disheveled woman not really sure the status of her attire at this point it's not great no and so he drinks she's crying obviously her makeup is [ __ ] her hair is probably all messed up because evan is not a gentle lover [Laughter] he's not he's not um so then evan goes to the bar with his cousins with micah and the other one julian yes yes yes yes and so okay and i know they have future books micah makes like high-end [Music]
extreme extreme sports equipment and then julian is a famous actor he's a movie star yes he's a movie star so there at the bar evan is drinking basically for the first time in his life and spills his guts to his cousins about this meanwhile julian is antagonizing their waitress basically who is kristen who is sarah dr sarah from no ordinary billionaire she's also her secretary yeah and best friend and best friend who broke her foot in the second book which is how mara became
a bridesmaid and sarah's wedding because this is the only town i've ever seen where someone's like i broke my foot i can't be in your wedding so i found another bridesmaid for you i'm like no if i were a bride and someone was like i found a bridesmaid for you that you don't know that's weird that does remind me once i was in a wedding for one of my really really good friends from graduate school and she was super stressed because her husband's family was a lot they're like they were a lot
to deal with um and her family was very well to do had a ton of money um they're from turkey like very very different people meanwhile his dad was a baptist preacher oh wow from florida a lot of culture clashes happening so much happening and so she had selected like three of us to be bridesmaids you know four of us or whatever and then his sisters were like we're gonna be bridesmaids too right and she was like yes [Laughter] so that's how his sister pumpkin came to be in the wedding
her is that her gifted name i do not believe that was her given christian name i never learned the real one and we got super smashed in key west together i never learned her real name i got smashed in key west with a bridesmaid named pumpkin who inserted herself into the wedding party is the most florida [ __ ] i've ever heard and i don't remember the other sister's name but it was something like pookie or something stop i'm serious i don't remember but it wasn't it wasn't great it doesn't
sound like it was right yeah i don't know i had an old roommate who i was not in her wedding which i was entirely okay with but she had 10 bridesmaids and one of her bridesmaids oh i knew a girl who had 18 bridesmaids it's too many yeah i don't even like 18 people truly i do not but um i forget which one i was going to tell a story about because they both have great stories the one with ten they both honestly have great stories from both of these weddings but the one with ten one of the
bridesmaids was like if i'm not in your wedding i'm not attending your wedding and in my head i'm like damn don't let the horde don't let the [ __ ] where was that going somebody help me don't let the door hit you on the way out was where i was we haven't had enough to drink for that we really haven't this is like i've had one glass of wine over the course of like an hour and a half there's zero reason this is just who i am as a human which is kind of worse it is kind of um
or better but yes but she like legitimately had a bridesmaid that was like if i'm not in your wedding i won't be attending it and she was like well i guess you're in my wedding then and am i i'm like [ __ ] you are not going to be at my wedding at all then and i'm entirely okay with that yeah i didn't have any bridesmaids i didn't even want to invite my parents to my wedding but my husband is softer than me and he was like well i really want my my grandma to be there
and if my grandma's there then obviously i was like this is give a moose a muffin he's like if we invite my grandparents then we have to invite my parents if we invite my parents we have to invite your parents i was like oh my god i literally just wanted to go to the courthouse i did not want to do this but in our county that is very fast backwards they did not do courthouse weddings what yeah because they didn't want to be forced to marry same-sex couples so they just stopped doing all
marriage ceremonies of any kind oh my god yeah so we had a friend perform the ceremony on a dock on the chattahoochee with our parents there and matt's grandparents and my sister one of my sisters i had two bridesmaids that feels like a good number my sister and my best friend of 20 years well i was i was a [ __ ] like straight up like i'm not even gonna lie so a couple of my friends were like let us decorate the doc because i was like i legitimately don't care i just want to sign the
marriage license like i don't i don't care that's just not who i am and they were like let us decorate i was like you can come and decorate but you can't stay for the ceremony like i don't hold that boundary i literally didn't invite anybody else like you guys can't stay thank you though and then after everybody was like well what are we gonna do now i was like i don't know what you guys are doing but matt and i are going to dinner thanks bye so i love this story i was like i don't
know i really appreciate that like we have several friends who have gotten engaged since since we got married and whenever they're like what's what advice would would you give and all those things i'm like it's a day about you but inadvertently it becomes a day about all of your friends and family trying to love you really well and how they want to be loved and then it inadvertently becomes about them yeah even though all they're trying to do is love you terrible so
my mother was like so we can't invite anybody and i was like if you want to throw a party mom you can throw a party and you can tell me when to show up but i'm not paying for it and i'm not planning it and i'm not doing it so she did that six months later they had a huge party oh and i was like this is nice and weird was it people you like some of them oh that's you know better than zero of them some of them but i was like okay then all right now so our our trick for
our wedding was that we got married at a vineyard five minutes from my parents house nice and my parents live in the middle of nowhere in the mountains in a town that doesn't have a stoplight and it but it's it's so stunning they live on a lake in the mountains like off the appalachian trail absolutely beautiful um but it is not a place you get to by accident right and so it was very much one of those weddings that like we'd love for you to make it and we have zero expectation
that you are going to show up when the nearest airport is like almost a two-hour drive away right so we had a lot of no's for that reason and while i was very sad they couldn't make it i also wasn't was not sad they couldn't make it um anyway so i don't know how we do so all this to say evan and randy and um so where had oh so evan is getting trashed for the first time in his life with his cousins the movie star and the extreme outdoor equipment maker and he tells them everything and they're
like bro what the [ __ ] are you serious you've been sleeping with her all this time and you knew who she was and you didn't say anything well and also we did forget to mention a while back there was another cutaway scene like right before the ball started tamara and jared from the last book oh they're talking about how like all of the siblings knew about the pen pal situation so like everyone at that point was under the impression that randy already knew and i'm like man i'd feel
real dumb if i were randy and found out that everyone else knew about this super betrayed yeah yes i'm like no you should be pissed about this so randy it's like the next day i guess and randy is like i'm not gonna check my email i'm not gonna check my email i'm not gonna check my email and then she checks her email and she has a message from evan that's like have you ever done something really stupid she's like not really no not like your dumb ass ass she's like no and he's like well i have
and so they do this exchange and then she's crying and then evan is behind her somehow yeah in her house not his house because the storm has passed she is back in her own house now yep yep and evan's just there and he's like you should probably marry me and then she's like okay like and then that's really the end of the book man i hated that book so much like all right what's our what's our rating scale for this book did we do jam for mara's books and she meet was the
jam maker i don't remember our rating skill for that one i don't know um i how many calla lilies that's all i can think how many like one dead one that's been on the grave for a while and we left out that he was apparently going back every single day to leave a calla lily for her dead parents do we really think he was doing it or do we think he was paying he probably had an assistant do it and she's like why did you do that and he was like i was thanking them for being
there for you and saving you when i couldn't and she's like you didn't [ __ ] know her that i didn't know i'm misplacement like that don't make no sense like i guess this was no it wasn't sweet he like you tried to get there and you couldn't no like i'm like the entire book you were manipulating this girl and you knew and i have very little respect for you but i'm also like i also have i don't really have much respect for randy because just like the other girls in these books
these dudes are like committing these atrocious acts against these women and then they're like i'm so sorry and that girl's like i will marry you now like hell mara had her house sold out from under her her the house she grew up in where her business was where her business was and jared was like well i just knew because i'm an architect that the house wasn't safe and you were gonna die and like yes the the house did ultimately light on fire and burned to the ground she had turned
to the ground she had to be rescued no one is disputing that but i'm like there are other ways to do that and at no point you like like did jared not think like i could tell mara that this is why i sold her house or like not sold it this is why i i purchased her house so i could save it but i'm like i just feel like all of these large things are happening where i'm like we're very quick to forgive and i'm like i'm not like saying we need to be holding grudges but i'm also like it
sounds like maybe more than like two hours of separation when you left a party crying like you might need more time than that to really process yeah and micah the cousin was like dude what is happening like this woman is running out of the room disheveled and sobbing and here you come with no buttons on your shirt because she ripped them off that's not a good look bro what the [ __ ] are you doing i mean and evan's just like i can't help it i'm dyslexic and i'm like that's literally
nothing to do with the moral choices you're making right now so should we do it out of billionaires how many billionaires how many billionaires um like a billionaire who's living below the poverty line is what i'd give it a billionaire who's lost it all yeah like someone who had a billion dollars put in their bank account and then they refreshed their bank account and it was gone and it was gone is what i rate this i was gonna say like like one and a half billionaires which
would be like one billionaire in one millionaire [Laughter] so terrible it would be dante sinclair and liam sullivan there it is yes um precisely i will rate it one billionaire but it is not the billionaire that this book is about amen well and that's the other thing that i hate about this book and a lot of these books in general is it's like the women like their whole character development is is some trauma that happened and it's like they they can have stories outside of that
like does it have to be the terrible things that happened to them that that drew them to these men like i don't apparently trauma bonds are not the only bonds we can have other ones healthier ones we can have other ones in fact we encourage you we did to have healthier ones um we would love for you to find a therapist if you're needing one but like evan sinclair you need a therapist my guy yeah and i don't want it to be me i can tell you that much i do not want you as a client
much like and i can't remember i've said this before like whoever and voluntarily committed kanye west to a psych hospital i have the power to write commitment papers yeah um am i so glad i was not the person called to have to go write commitment papers on kanye west yes yes i am like go get another therapist but you need one yes it's like britney spears therapist well she was under conservatorship would i want to be that person no do i want to be that person now that
she's out of conservatorship and has her freedom back yes call me brittany please thank you i love you all right so we're gonna rate this one billionaire um not the billionaire that the book is about where we'll rate it we'll rate it a dante dante he seems to be the least atrocious of the sinclair bookstore yeah but is that just because we're so remote from it but i'm like the lapd detective billionaire so maybe i'm i'm maybe he's not maybe just a just a different billionaire one elon musk
that is my final offer i'll rate it one jeff bezos we're gonna go full lizard person thank you i'm really sorry that you guys had to listen to this wow i apologize y'all thank you for joining us on this journey it was it i i hope it wasn't nearly as painful for you as it was please don't give up on us we'll do better next time um but j.s scott will likely not be doing better next time no thank you for your effort jan please stop well she's a bot can't stop won't stop
she just keeps it and refresh and it gets another story she sure does so thank you all for joining us catch us on the next one please don't leave us after that review because we hated it too but we love you but we love you have a great day bye next week on smack club i think whenever she fell to route she just described it as her flower tingling i'm like is that what it like is that what we're saying like you're just aroused like oh like my dick twitch i don't know
we can bring my husband on and interview him i'm not gonna put him on the spot and ask but i'm like that is like a question i am definitely not gonna ask yeah hannah i think it's great that you're not just gonna like go up to my husband and be like can i ask you about your dick and how it twitches does it twitch yeah if so it like is it an exaggerated twitch like is it a little wiggle like what's happening down there are you just gonna like make really intense eye contact
you're gonna be like blink if you're a dick twitch blink once for yes and twice for now like blowing on his eyes to see what happens is that where we're gonna end up here well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ] we hope it was good for you because it sure was great for us if you're digging what we're doing it would mean a lot if you take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now maybe tell that sexy someone to let us in here we love you we appreciate you
and we'll see you next week stay spotty [Music]