EP 88: Sleet Princess by S.J. Tilly

Well, hello all you beautiful people. You know what time it is. Ladies and gents, guys and dolls and everyone in between. Gather around. Get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on. Cuz it's time for Smite Club. Here's your hosts, Chelsea and Hannah. [Music] [Laughter] Hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club. I'm Hannah. And I'm Chelsea. And this and this is the podcast where we are two licensed therapists who sometimes daydrink and sometimes don't and review smut books of varying

caliber. I almost had it. I think you did a beautiful job. Thank you. Today is a drinking day. Clearly, penog greater box. Yep. We are still at this point as of this recording. We are still not sponsored by Boa Box. Yeah. Be a lot cooler if we were. It would. Uh cuz I'll also say, and this is by no means trying to like Boa DM me. Not not trying to make that happen. It if you wanted to, you could though. I'm enjoying this pino more than I expected. Oh, me too. Yeah. It's not as sweet as I

thought it would be. It's nice. Yes. I think I normally lean Chardonnay. Me, too. But I sometimes feel like the the Boda Chardonnay has a specific aftertaste, which I don't mind. I'm just not always looking for it. Sure. Um and so I'm enjoying this pino as cuz I feel like I typically do the Chardonnay or the rosé. Yes. Mhm. Mhm. And you know what I won't do though? What? Soft blanc. M. No. No. I'm not a grapefruit girly. Me either.

And that is a a hard one if you don't like the acidic fruits in that regard. Speaking of that, on my way here this morning, for some reason, I had the thought that um cuz I I guess I saw an advertisement for the new um lavender latte at Starbucks. I was like, "That's interesting, but I hate lavender." And then I had the thought and I was like, well, I did really like that lemon and lavender lemonade or something that I had at

Chelsea's. I'm going to try it and it was a mistake, but I paid $6 for it and so I drank it anyway and I just committed to it. I like a iced lavender latte, but I don't know if I've had lavender as a hot like in a hot beverage option and I don't know if I would enjoy that outside of tea. It was it was cold, but for me it was the the like the flavor itself was fine, but then behind it was like lavender and I was like you can very easily overdo Yeah. the floral notes with beverages.

Yeah. It's a fine line. It's a rookie move. Yeah. Yeah. You know, Starbucks a bunch of noobs. Maybe because I had CO two or three times, maybe my taste buds are different now and that's why I liked the lemonade, but that wasn't it. I think it was just better balanced. So, I'm just going to admit that I don't remember serving you lavender lemonade. You did? Or honey lavender something. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Wasn't it lemonade? So, I have uh True Honey Tea Company

makes a lavender lemonade tea bag. I had if it was iced, I steeped it in a I made like a cold concentrate. Yes. Oh, that was Yeah, I should make more of that. It was really good. I forgot about that. Yeah. See, they did the right amount of lavender. That's why we like it. Nailed it. Take note, Starbucks. All right. So, all that said, today we are reviewing Sleet Princess by SJ Tilly. Is this hockey? How'd you know? Well, I was like, this is going to go one of two

ways. Either she's going to be like an ice princess fa situation, but that's not usually the energy you bring. Sometimes, but not usually. Yeah. So, I was like, feels more like hockey potentially. Yeah. So, this one is hockey. Great call. Um, and this is actually the fourth book in the series. It's the final book, but they're all standalone. Um, so there are like references to the friend group a lot in the book, I think.

I'm like, and all of the names are based off of like whatever the dudes like freaking nicknamed the girls. So, like I think it's like sleep kitten, sleep sugar, sleep banshee, and sleep princess. I got to be honest. If a man's nickname for me is Banshee, probably not. No, I don't think that's a person I want to be romantically involved with. Yeah. It's not giving that you like the person, right? It's not giving like enjoyment of the relationship. It's not the kindest nickname.

No, it's giving you screech at me like Yeah. But you know, some people are into that. That's true. That's true. Yeah. And so we love that that nickname is available to them. To them. Yeah. Fair enough. Fair enough. Okay. So, but this one is sleep princess. Yes. This opens with Luke. Um, Luke is one of the co- captains for the Minnesota SLET, the NHL team. He is, uh, I think he's 36.

Yeah, cuz at some point I think he says like his birthday is is coming up and he'll be 37 soon, but like it's passive, so could be off on that. Um, he's close to retiring. Like I was going to say that's getting up there for a hockey player. Yes. which is kind of where he's like, you know, like all of my like friends and like peers have found love and are kind of like entering that next season and I I too would love to find love and I only have so many years left in me. I

don't rebound like I used to. That sort of energy. Um he is in Mexico for his cousin's wedding. That's nice. Yes. Was that a previous book? No. Okay. No. Uh they do that sometimes. Well, they do. They They really frequently do. No, but he is his uh the cousin's best man. Okay. And so they are going on a run and working out together and just like getting a workout in at the gym before all of the wedding festivities kind of start. Switch to Natalie. That's who we meet next.

She is also at the resort resort for her cousin's wedding. Not the same wedding. Okay, that's a good distinction. Yes. This is not like they're not in the same wedding parties together. Like it's not there's not that much happened to be in the same place. Yes. They are at the same resort, right? For some reason in my head when it said that they were each there for their cousin's wedding, I was waiting for it to like be the same wedding to the point that like they flew home and were no

longer in Mexico. And I'm like, "Oh, so it's not I was still waiting." I don't know why I built that in my head. Well, because that I mean that feels like a book I've read, but where you know, and then they dance together and then they have a one night stand and she turns out to be pregnant and 6 months, you know what I mean? Like, yes, that's kind of a tropey thing, you know?

1,000%. and like the oh we were like making eye contact and like the jokes like in the ceremon like those sorts of like cute moments and things like that. That's not what's happening here. Different weddings. Um she actually I don't I think her cousin she's not in the wedding party cuz her cousin didn't do wedding parties. She's just like there for the wedding but the bride is still kind of bridezilla and is like I need all of my friends who are here like all of my girls like we're still

going to the gym. We're still like doing so one of those like I'd say she like doesn't have a formal wedding party but just has a bunch of friends that seems like like house party might be a better term for it. Right. And so they're like we're going to the gym and Natalie is not thrilled. She's like I'm on [ __ ] vacation but like right okay you're the bride. I guess I'm going to the gym. Like I'm not loving this but I guess that's what I'm doing. So um back to Luke it. So this book

there are so many chapters. Holy [ __ ] It's like the book is like less than 400 pages and I think there were like 120 chapters. Yes. Like and especially there are a lot of chapters like and it goes pretty much back and forth every other chapter on point of view. But like there will be a chapter that's like four sentences and then the next page is another four sentence chapter from the next person. So like things do kind of move quickly in some regard and but it is a lot of

back and forth. Sometimes it feels relevant, sometimes it really doesn't. Yeah. Um so Luke is on this run with his cousin, walks into the gym, immediately sees this like beautiful woman just laying out on the weight bench reading her Kindle. I like that a lot. He's like, I am into her. I would I I need to know more about this situation. So, he just walks up and goes, "Mine Sharon, Princess Princess." Um, clock it. Page nine, his introduction to this woman already has

the nickname. That might be a record. It might be. Yeah. Yeah. Cuz I know when we just reviewed Twisted Love, you were like, "The nickname shows up at 25%." And in my head, I was like, I know I'm reviewing this book soon, and I can't wait to beat Hannah's record. I don't know if we if we I don't know if you can top page nine. That is early, especially when they've they don't know each other. They've never spoken. Yeah. This isn't like a they grew up together, brothers, best friend sort of trope.

You're probably the only one who can get away with that on page one, right? But I'm like, page N is so freaking early for the nickname. Well, generally in real life, when a guy calls you some kind of nickname at the gym or when you're on the street, at a restaurant, whatever, it's not cute at all. No. Like, it's usually extremely either condescending or just like generally creepy. Like, that's not that's not good vibes. Well, and they each have a couple nicknames throughout the book for each

other. So, like he calls her Princess, Green Eyes, or Little Royal. Okay. Like the whole like going between the three. And he has a couple Mr. Muscles. Nope. Player. And I think there there might be another one, but I'm just like, Lord, so many freaking nicknames. So, uh, she is startled when he's like, "Mind sharing?" And like drops her Kindle. He grabs it and just starts reading. Mhm. And it's a sex scene. I'm sure it is smut. It is indeed smut. And so she's like, "Can I have that

back?" Like reaches for it. He's like holding it out of her arms reach. Finally gives it back to her and he's like, "What's your name?" And she's like, "Princess is good." And just like walks away. You know all you need to know. Thank you. Uhhuh. And she's like, "All right, put in my time at the freaking gym. I showed up, right? I'm going to the beach now. I'm on vacation. Let no man stop me. I'm not a freaking bridesmaid. Don't give me tasks. I didn't sign up for this."

Yes. Um, so she is down and swimming and and just like kind of floating in the water. Luke goes out and is at the beach immediately like clocks the pink swimsuit and he's like, "Yep, there she is. I'm here. Hello." So goes out and like swims out to her, but then startles her and she just like goes under because I'm sure. Yes. I'm like as any of us would do if we're just floating in the ocean and someone startles us. Um, and so then he's like apologizing and he's like, "It's you can push me

under if you want." And she's like, "I'm not gonna." And then like before she finishes the sentence, just dumps some. And he's like, "Good for her. I I respect it." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good for her. Um, they introduce themselves, start flirting, like very hard from the jump. This like instant attraction. She's from outside Chicago. And uh and he's like, "Oh, like because he says he plays hockey and I forget exact but like it's something where he's just like oh you live outside Chicago so you can't

claim Chicago. The sle is your team now." And you're like what the good sir you don't know this. Your face is so unimpressed. Well I'm just like hockey never heard of it. Like, how do you know if she even is into hockey? Like, why are we assigning her a team? Which is okay. All right. Well, I think it was more of like a Oh, so you play like he's like, you're not Chicago. You said you live outside Chicago. So, like sle is your team now. Which still you're okay. Roll your eyes. It's fine.

Well, it's giving desperation, but go ahead. Like, okay. Well, she's into the desperation. It's working for them. Hey, different strokes and all that. Good for her and him, I guess. I like that every single thing that Luke's doing, Hannah's like unimpressed. Please move on to the next. And I'm like, and then he did this and you're like still unimpressed. Hate it. And I'm like, Natalie does not seem to feel that way. I'm happy for both of them. They really found each other. It sounds like Oh, I

mean, we're pretty early still. I imagine there's some plot. I I imagine there's a plot. Maybe they had been out in deeper waters and he ends up like swimming them back into like slightly shallower territory. They end up kissing. It gets heated. Uh it would probably get more heated, but then someone on the beach calls for her and it's like one of it's not her cousin, but it's one of the non bridesmaids and she's like, "Well, I guess I probably got to go get ready for

the rehearsal." So, she kind of takes off and he's like, "Well, I'm going to swim around for a minute and then I I too will get out, but no need to scare the children right now." Oh, no. You go ahead. So awkward. He's like, I will stay where I am. What's that episode of Community where the guy from Subway has sex with Britta? It's a whole thing. But they listen to them having sex and the guy from Subway is like, "Unacceptable. You're fired."

And then he's like, "And then if someone would hand me my coat, I would make my way out." And everybody's like, "Your coat is next to the door." And he's like, "If somebody would hand me my coat and everybody's just like, "Yeah, that's what it makes me think of. Hand me my coat. hand me my coat. All of the things I think of with community, that's not one of the But like when you

said it, I'm like, "Oh, yeah, I do." But I whenever I think of Brida, I think of her organizing the political protest and when she goes to protest something and no one else shows up and then she sees them all walking by and she's like, "What happened guys? I thought we were all like gonna like fight for the animals together." And they were like, "Well, I ate a cheeseburger and then I wasn't cold anymore." Yes. And as someone who's been predominantly meat-free for over a decade, Yep.

I was like, "Oh, is that the answer? I'm always [ __ ] cold." Oh, no. Have a cheeseburger. The solution. Absolutely the solution. Supplement, I suppose. So Natalie is my urine supplement would also be helpful. Anemia runs in my family. I should get my labs done again soon. It's been a minute. Preventative health matters. Mhm. To be fair, I got my lab work done probably about 6 months ago and then my doctor text me and said, "It came in. When are you free to schedule?" And I said,

"Let me get back to you." And by the time I get back to them, I'm gonna need new lab work. That was already spilled over six months ago. Yeah, my bad. So, okay, Natalie is at her cousin's rehearsal at this point and Googles Luke because Yes, that's what you do. Yes. And so, as she is uh looking at her phone, her dad sees it and is like, "Oh, let's let's start with one team." Haha. Because apparently Natalie's and her dad, they own Wagner Corp. I don't know. Um, it sounds like general business.

They do very lucrative. She has like a trust of like a 100 mil that like she's never even touched because she doesn't need to based off of her like the So her dad just bought the NFL team in Minneapolis. Oh. So, he just bought the biters and they will be Yep. I didn't name it. They will be moving to from Illinois to Minnesota. Oh. Very soon because he just bought this team. Um, which she's like, "Yeah, I wasn't really didn't want to lead with that with

meeting Luke." She's like, "When do you tell them that you're moving?" And then when they ask why you or like because my dad just bought an NFL team like right right I don't really know how to slip that into conversation or be like well the sleep will be my team in about a month. Yay. Wink wink. Yes. So later that night she is creeping his Instagram and does what all of us have accidentally done at some point. Yep. Likes a photo.

Yep. Too far back and is immediately like [ __ ] and like tries to unlike it, but like by the time she unlikes it sees that she has a new DM and she's like, "Oh, okay." And so like he's sitting there and he's like texting her and then like his cousin is like annoying him and he's like, "Remind me why I like room with my cousin and any room with like where where you're staying h like that sort of energy and she's just like you can have the floor room 112." All right. So he just takes off.

He's like, I will not wait for her to change her mind. What a wingman. Yeah. Goes, "Great job." Just just knocks on her door. They She opens it. They immediately start going at it again, right? Uh then there's a knock on her door and it's her dad and he's like, "Hey, I brought ice cream." And she's like, "Fuck, [ __ ] fuck." She's like, "Sorry about this." and kicks him out. But she has like a swim up pool off the back. So, and he just like laughs. Swims out.

Yeah. He's just like this. It's a story kind of energy. And he's like, well, carries his phone over his head and just like wads out. You're 36 years old, bro. Hannah, my husband is 36 years old. Dead ass. Tell me Vance would not do like in if the circumstances were right. like I you're like I take it. He would and my husband who is fully 43 would likely do the same. So yeah, in my head Matt was still 40. Yours keep moving though.

Yeah. I just feel like on Facebook I saw that it was his 40th birthday and would have bet that that was within the last year and I'm realizing no I'm wrong and it was not within the last year. Last night I was asking him like you know if you needed anything checking in whatever and he was like I mean not really a surprise [ __ ] would be nice. And I was like, "What level of surprise?" Like, like, "Do you want no warning? Do you want a lot of warning?" Like, what?

Is it just like a I want to suck your dick right now? Is like that what you're looking am I just like, am I taking the wheel here? Cuz that's different energies. I'm open to both, but like I need more information. And he goes, I want to be so surprised that I go [Applause] And I was like, "Okay, I'm vastly overthinking how to achieve that level of response." Okay, I guess I have to jump out of a closet or something. uh pop out of a cake like a stripper. I remember there was this dude that uh

I don't know. I think he was like a detective for Nashville PD. Uh I don't know. I knew him because I worked crisis and we worked very closely with law enforcement. He was law enforcement, whatever that that was. Sure. But he was my age, my co-workers age. him. Uh we were at a training and uh me, it was me, a male coworker, and then this dude who is law enforcement, whatever that is.

Sure. And they were talking about first dates and like what level of intimacy happens on a first date and if a girl puts out or things like that. Sure. But he's like, listen, he's like, I'll always pay the bill. Whatever you want to give. Like a [ __ ] like never expected. Always appreciated. Never expected. Always appreciated. And Vance will still say that to me now. I like that. Yeah. He's like never expected. Always appreciated.

Yeah. And I do feel like at any point in time if you're just like want me to suck your dick? That is the That's the level of surprise right there. Yeah, you don't need to jump out of a closet. I don't. That's gift enough. You're really right. I'm overthinking it. Or when we're done recording, we can go see what mask options you can buy to really commit to the bit and surprise him. Matt already has most multiple masks of various horror characters. I can just not the Jason mask cuz it's a hockey

mask so there's not a lot of room. Wh see horror masks make some people's dicks twitch and it makes other people's dicks invert. And so that is where we shall leave Hannah's husband's dick. I don't know. Never expected. Always. Always appreciated. That's going to go on our merch. I hope you jump out of a closet and that's what he says. That would be full circle, wouldn't it? That really would be. Yeah. So, he sneaks out from the swim up pool. The next day is the wedding. The

weddings happen. and no one gives a [ __ ] I don't even know if I know the name of the bride. Like, I don't even know if I know Natalie's cousin's name. They probably mention it. It wasn't really relevant cuz she didn't also really like her cousin that much. It seemed like this wedding was more of an excuse for her to go on vacation. Yeah. It was more of like a my dad loves his brother and I love my dad and so I'll show up to my cousin's wedding.

That makes sense. Mhm. But pretty much as soon as the reception start, Luke is like, "Well, I think it's time I go seek out Natalie." He's like, "There are only so many other places weddings can be happening on this island." Mhm. Not island, it's Mexico in this general vicinity. This general resort. Sure. Yes. It works well. He finds her. Uh they bone on the beach. It's secluded enough. He did also steal his cousin's condom.

His cousin whose wedding night it was who only brought one condom for the wedding night. Wedding weekend. I had extra. To be honest, I feel like that's on the cousin. Why are you only bringing one? Yeah. I'm like, but also if you know your cousin only brought one and it's his wedding night and you steal it from him, that is pretty shitty. that if you know it's his only one, that's pretty shitty. But also to your point, it's your wedding night and it feels like you could have prepped more going.

I feel bad for your new wife. Do better. Come on, man. Do better. Yeah. Uh yeah. Yeah. So they bone on the beach and then like as they're walking back his name is called and he's like, "Oh, it's like people like from the So they just kind of like part ways and sure and move on." And so the next morning they fly home individually which like starts a text montage. Um there are a couple different text montages that we'll have throughout this. And so throughout this like you

can tell she's traveling for work. he's also traveling for games like they facetimed amidst the travel and um he asks her about her travel schedule for the week and she has a free night. She has to be in California the next day um but has a free night and he has a game in Vegas. So she agrees to have a layover in Vegas to go to his game and see him. H yes. Uh, so that said, he also like he does he still does not know she's loaded, right?

She's just they're just like living their life, having this like flirty banner. It's also one of those things where like his mom has always been like, "You got to look out for gold diggers." Like you're like a professional athlete, right? And so for some reason that comes up a couple times in the book and then it's like, "Yeah, and she's not one." So that's convenient. Anyway, it's like kind of how it read to me like a little a little too passive. I was like, why

did we reference this? We could have just It seems unnecessary. Yeah, at least was my interpretation. Sure. Oh, it could it doesn't sound like it's relevant to the plot. Yes, exactly. Um, so she just bought herself one ticket cuz that's all she needed and it is right next to the penalty box. Very good seat.

Mhm. And um as anticipated as well as I'm sure you can anticipate what Luke gets in gets thrown into the penalty box with Zach who I believe was the if I'm remembering correctly was the main dude in Sleet Sugar. Okay. Yes. Zach is with Izzy Sugar. Uh and her dad is the coach of the team. Oh, okay. Yes. So, Zach and Luke both get thrown into the penalty box and then Luke sees that she's sitting there and Zach is immediately like trying to like elbow him back like, "Who are you looking at?

What's happening?" And Luke's going to play [ __ ] cool, man. Shut the [ __ ] up. Yeah. Get back. Get back. Uh, and he sees that she's wearing a sleet jersey and he's like, "Turn around." Like, so she turns around and it's just a blank jersey. Not Zack. Luke is like, "The fuck." Like good for her. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and she's like in her inner monologue, she's like, "Well, I wanted

to like get a jersey. I didn't think he would want me to wear a friend's like name, but I also don't feel like we're at a point where I'm like wearing his name on my back." So, very presumptive. Yeah. She's like, "The blank jersey felt like the safe appropriate move, which I agree with." I'm like, I I do feel like I would also go blank jersey. Definitely. Yeah. You met him last week, right, in Mexico? She seems to have a better understanding of where they are in the process than he does.

Yeah. I Well, I also feel like she's a little I'm like, you haven't told him that you're like, there's some things that you're not telling him. She's hiding a lot of stuff. Yeah. And he's like, I really like this girl. Like, what's not to like? I'm just going to like keep doing this until I learn something that informs me otherwise. Right. Right. Which I also appreciate that like cuz you know some people go into relationships looking for the excuse to end it.

Right. Yes. Mhm. Mhm. And it's was kind of refreshing to read about like a someone who wasn't fighting it along the way. Yeah. but also isn't like overly golden retrievery, if you will. Um, so yes, he is unimpressed and like in in his head he's like, "I will buy her a new jersey immediately and that one will go in the donation pile cuz who needs that black jersey? That's not doing anyone any favors." Which is very sweet. And then he winks at her before he goes back out on the ice and people

definitely see it. Like people behind her are like, "Do you know him?" Oh [ __ ] And she was like, "Uh-huh." And one of the girls was like, "Is he good?" sort of energy. Yeah. She was like, "Good." Oh, and I didn't mention this when they had the beach sex. But it was so good that once he pulled out, he collapsed on the sand but forgot that his dick was still out. And then he's like, "Oh, no." That's why I made the face I made when you said they had sex on the beach. I was like, "Yes."

Oh, hell no. Hell no. No. Hot in theory, less in practice. And honestly, not even in theory because in my head, all I think of is all of the like we would go to the beach at night, Clear Water Beach when I was like growing up. And there were some sand dunes. And it wasn't uncommon that like people would like go hook up go hook up in the dunes. But you know who else went in the dunes? Everyone who needed to pee.

Also correct. Yeah. Oh, and definitely had some friends go behind some dunes and find some people. And I'm like, that is what I'm imagining in my head. So, I'm glad no one interrupted them, but I'm also like it's hard for me to like imagine getting there sexually in that situation. Yeah, cuz I Things are going to be scratching that shouldn't be scratching. No, you can never get rid of all the sand. No. Yeah, I think I still find some. I haven't been to Florida since 2019.

Is that actually I think that is true. I said that a little faciciously and then I was like actually yeah my bad should go see my family soon. Uh they finish the game, they win, they go out afterwards and it's sweet because they start out at the bar with all of his friends and once again who all have their own books of like they get to meet her and they all have a fun time hanging out together. And then Luke and Natalie decide that they're going to go like explore the strip and just like have

some time for them. They like get the giant drinks, you know, the ones and the, you know, the specific cups that I'm You'reing I'm mimming that no one else can see me m that are like symmetrical where they have like the funnally top on the top and funnally top on the bottom and long and skinny in the middle. Thank you. Yep. Thank you for describing it perfectly. Yes. On the strip and at like amusement parks are the are the places,

right? So, they get their drinks and they're just kind of walking and they see this like kind of alley kind of just sidewalk that like goes maybe like 20 yards back and that has a door at the end that there's like a bouncer outside of and the door has like a pink glow around it. And so they start to walk up and the bouncer's like, "Sorry, like closed event." And then as they get closer, the bouncer's like, "Holy [ __ ] you're Luke Anders." And Luke's like,

"Yeah, man. Want my girl to take a photo?" Like, and so they're just having a great conversation and the bouncer's like, "You you really here for this party?" And he's like, "Yeah." And he's like, "Okay." Like, "I can't let you take the drinks in, but like doors open." And sure. So they go in, they're having a great time, drinking, vibing. Uh the DJ is hyping everyone up. Just a great dance party all around. Like, but like the DJ's

hyping them. He's like, he's like, "Look at your partner and tell him you love him. Tell me your hoare is over. Like, make out like you mean it. Like, and everyone's just like, "Yeah, like having this great time." They're like, "Okay, we're going to go back to our hotel now before this turns into an orgy." Like, uh, yeah. And as they get to the edge of the dance floor, they're like people standing there and they're like, "Okay, we need you to sign like the like the waiver."

And they hand him hand like a party favor bag. So Luke takes the bag and she takes the paper and they they go back to the hotel and have great sex, you know. Sure. At least I'm pretty sure that's why. Less sand. Yeah. Less less Sandy and more condoms. I imagine uh he tells her like he doesn't want it all to end. And she tells him, "I'm moving to Minnesota next week." And so she does tell him and he's very excited about

that. Yeah. But she just tells him that her company's headquarters are moving there. Right. does not say my dad just bought a pro sports team, right? I mean, technically true, but not the full picture. Yeah. Which I mean, I guess it was enough. I mean, they've known each other a week. I could see on her side like also being cautious of Yes. people taking advantage of you have that much money, right? You got it.

Yeah. You have to be a little bit guarded about who you let in and what all you tell them. She's like, "Oh, you're so cute. You make what a professional athlete makes. I'm in the 1% of the 1%. You're adorable. Like, we are not the same. Have you heard of Blue Origin? Oh, no. Why did you say Oh, no. They all lived. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

I I don't think Katie Perry loved her response, but I loved when I got to tell you what Kesha posted a picture of herself because she and Katy Perry hate each other. Mhm. She posted a picture of like cut cropped her eyes out and it's just her drinking out of a Wendy's cup and there's no caption, there's no hashtag, there's no nothing. She just posted it and I was like, "Oh, the petty." Oh [ __ ] Yeah, cuz honestly that was my favorite part was Wendy's.

Yes. Yes. Can we send her back? And everybody was like, "A corporation shouldn't be tweeting things like that." It's like, okay, well, why? Yeah, just fire the Gen Z social media coordinator. It's f like Right. Right. the 22-year-old who just graduated and got their first job in social media marketing. Like, okay. I'm like, I think the rest of us think they're crushing it. Well, apparently they got up there and Katie Perry like unprompted just started singing What a Wonderful World.

Like, nobody asked you for that, Katie. I was watching Josh Johnson. Me, too. Yes. When he was like, "Why? Can't you just sing it like Louis Armstrong?" Well, also, he's like, "It was 11 minutes in total." So, you went about like 5 minutes up there and over half of that you're like, will you shut the [ __ ] up? We're singing. Wendy's does go hard on their socials though. Yeah, I do. I can appreciate it.

KFC, I don't know if KFC goes hard, but what I appreciate is at least historically on X when it was at least called Twitter when I was on it. I don't know. I don't know if this is still the case, but um KFC only followed 11 people total. Six guys named Herb and the five Spice Girls total. That was all they follow. That's very good. I was like, I respect you guys a lot. That's very good. I was like, didn't see that one coming. I like it a lot. Well played, KFC. Well played. Which

also hot take. Some of my favorite fast food fries are KFC. I don't know that I can accurately recall what a KFC fry tastes like. I haven't been there in years. It tastes delicious. That's all you need to know. Noted. Yeah. It's like less seasoning than like a Checkers fry. Sure. But I don't think Chick-fil-A fries are very good. I hate the waffle fries. Yes.

I was talking to somebody else this week and I I was like I like is it a safe enough space to I don't mean to make a controversial statement, but like I really don't like Chick-fil-A's food. Like in general, I don't think it's that good. I would rather go to Popeye's. It's not any kind of political statement at all. I just really don't like their food. And they were like, damn. I was like, I'm sorry. It felt like we were having this like intense heartto-he heart.

They're like, "Oh, wow. I've learned so much about you." And you're like, "You did?" Yeah. Yeah. I've kept it in, you know. I finally feel safe to come forward. I hope this doesn't change how you see me or how we interact in the future, but yeah. Doesn't change who I am as a person. It just, you know, it's my truth and I choose to live it. We should do a fry off one day with just like all of the different options. Yes, Vance brought me home some Arby's curly fries recently.

But I feel like the thing with the curly fries is like some of them are like real curly and some of them you're like that's just kind of like a slightly that's a normal fry that leans a little to the left. Yeah. That we're calling Yeah. Yeah. a curly fry. And so I do think because they're not consistent across the board, it's hard toudge to back the Arby's fry as much as I used to. Unless I'm also getting a Jamoka shake. Ooh, only Jamoka, no other flavors. No, I will not be taking questions.

I pass an Arby's on my way home. That might happen. I hope it does. Yeah, I want that for you. I want that for Matt. Thank you for that. Yes. Um, so they start going at it in the elevator as they are going up to her hotel room and also like Luke is realizing like cuz she she ended up booking her own room at the hotel they were staying at just cuz she was like I didn't want to like be presumptive. Yeah. But they like get up to the room and he's like where's the where's the

bed? And she's like in the other room. Like it's like a full assuite. Yeah. He's like this suite is insane. He's like she clearly has money. Like he's like she clearly is doing well for herself with whatever that is unless she's making very poor decisions with a credit card. Like Yeah. Yeah. And he's like and she's not giving that energy. Mhm. But like I think the thing for me is I'm like you didn't ask the questions, right?

We could have had the answer. We could have had the conversations around this. Um so they have the the great hotel sex and then the next morning her alarm goes off and she's like, "Shit, got to get to the airport. Got that flight. That's real early. She takes all of her stuff into the bathroom to get ready. And as she's like refolding her jeans, she like hears a crinkle, pulls out the paper, opens it, and it's a marriage

certificate. So like the people standing on the edge, she's like, "Oh, we signed it, then they signed it. They were the witnesses." And the DJ was an officient. Yep. Look at your partner. Tell them you love them. Tell them your hoe era is over.

like what vows% yes but like the whole time you were reading it and I tried to set it up accordingly but like as you're reading it you're like is this going where I think it's going is this what's about to happen because as they're like signing the paper Luke is like oh yeah like I go to parties as a professional athlete yeah NDAs are super common like the photo release that's kind of what it seemed

like Yes. And so just like they signed it without like looking at it just so that they could move on cuz they were they were so horny they ended up married is really kind of what happened if you think about it. I almost just said a real bad thing. Go on. You should say it anyway. I was going to say I knew a lot of of people from youth group who did the

same. So I'm so sorry. Oh no. And most of the people who got married for that reason realized that it takes more than that alone to have a healthy relationship. Yeah. And some of them figured it out and some of them did not figured it out with the next person. Yeah. They learned lessons and they moved on. Yeah. I'm like the hormonal Mhm. shift of being like, "Hey, I know she was the first person besides yourself to touch your dick." Mhm. Doesn't mean that that's a great life partner. Yep. Mhm.

A lot goes into a marriage. Like so much goes into a marriage. Like when I feel like a lot of those like couples you're like oh you like you got married so young you you kind of did figure it out together cuz you you grew up together. Exactly. And sometimes you grow up together and sometimes you grow Yeah. up together apart like you know 1,000%. It feels very hit or miss like I Yeah. cuz you you see those couples now where you're like, "Yeah, I I see where you guys made sense and I see where you

still made sense." And then you look at the couples that you're like, "You got married before your brain was developed." Yeah. And like didn't understand everything that that entailed, right? And let no one vilify you for the fact that like you had to learn some lessons along the way. Of course not. Yeah. cuz I'm like I don't know. I think people can be like so cruel and unforgiving in those situations and it's just like man context matters. It does. Yeah.

And sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes it's still just okay. Whatever. Also true. Yes. So Natalie finds the marriage certificate and is like the [ __ ] And is like Luke wake up. And he's like well like if you want to go again before the airport. She's like I don't. This is serious. She's like, "My pants are on and yours should be too." Very serious. Yes. And he's not that upset about it. And he's just like, "Well, didn't see this coming, but enjoying it. Enjoying

getting to know her so far." Is kind of his like That seems like the energy of this guy the whole time. Her dad shows up and he has to swim out of her room. He's like, "Cool." He's like classic Natalie, right? Like cuz you've known her for 24 hours and you're like that's just Nat known each other for a week and we're married. I mean she seems pretty chill. So Well, cuz the bag that he grabbed had two like hot pink silicone wedding rings. Very good.

In it. Yes. So they're like, "Well, we'll sort this out, but we have flights to catch." Sort of like got to keep living. Fly safe, honey. Yep. And so spouse of mine. Oh, spouse of mine. So then there's another like cute text montage of before she's moved to Minneapolis. Uh but they're like preparing for she's like, "Hey, I'm like I've talked to my lawyer. I'm like getting like the papers written up so that way we can just like enol it, call it call it good." Exactly. And we can just move on and

like we'll we'll keep dating. But like Mhm. that this can be a very simple silent resolution to this situation. There doesn't need to be any press. We don't need to make it weird. Yes. So, it's I guess it's probably been a week, however long it was until she like officially moved to Minneapolis. And so, Luke is going to her office to meet her to sign these divorce papers. But he like checks the address when he gets there and he's like, "Byer headquarters. Why is Natalie here?

like what am I? Huh? This feels weird. Like what am I missing? Why is she here? And so he walks in to to go meet her. And but as he's walking in and getting in the elevator, his phone starts blowing up. Cut to Natalie. Uh-oh. Yeah. So cut to Natalie. She's nervous because she knows that Luke is about to arrive. She hasn't seen him since Vegas. Right. Before Luke can get there, her dad charges in because someone from the hotel released the video footage of them in the elevator.

Oh no. And so Natalie is also supposed to take over as CEO for sure this for her dad's company, but has to like prove her leadership at like and the board is already crying nepotism. So she has to really like stay in line. And so her dad's like, "I can't believe that like you would just like be so foolish, jeopardize your future." Yes. To get like just making out with like a pro alet like the the hell are you doing sort of energy. And dad is big mad about all of this.

And she doesn't want to screw over her promotion. And so she's like, "It wasn't a random hookup. It was a he's my husband. It was a couple on their wedding night. Yep. Is that really better? Yes. I impulsively married somebody in Vegas. It's not that I hooked up with someone. I impulsively married them in Vegas. No. Well, if we we're not mentioning the We didn't impulsively marriage him. Is that like being what was it we said? Tangential. Tangential. She didn't impulsively marry him cuz she

didn't know she was marrying him. So, it wasn't an impulse decision. We're not mentioning any of that. We're just saying this wasn't a random hookup. My husband, this was a couple having an intimate moment on their wedding night as newlyweds. Get at me. Like, what are you going to do? Right. Have a freak out because I'm your father and I didn't know you were dating anyone, much less marry them. Yeah, that is like for how close her and

her dad are. I'm like, "Huh?" So, at this point, Luke has like arrived as she's kind of like saying like that last section to her dad of like this was like a couple on their wedding night. And like her dad like sees like Luke kind of sitting there and he's like, "So, you're the guy who married my daughter?" And he's like, "Yes, sir." Like is kind of, "Uh-huh, sure am."

Yep. And so dad storms off and like tells Natalie he's like disappointed in her in her choices which like is shitty and him lashing out. Well, it also feels a little bit like I mean if she were a dude like I doubt it would have been a question or an issue. To his credit later in the book Mhm. they do clear the air and he's like I didn't respond well to that. And he's

like and quite frankly you're 32. the fact that it took this long for you to end up in any tabloids or pop like with any pop photos like Mhm. Yeah. Like I Right. I'm I didn't respond well, which I did appreciate that followup. And so her dad storms out and then there's just kind of this like awkward silence between Natalie and Luke because he's like, "You just introduced me as your husband." Yeah. So thought I was here to get a divorce.

Like was wearing my ring, but like guess I'm going to leave wearing my ring as well. Like the [ __ ] And so she's like, "I'm sorry. I like can't let him cut me out of the business." And he's like, "So this is a financial decision." And she's like, "No, no, no." And she's like, "But like if like the board like got wind and he's like, "So this is a

political decision." like right I'm being used now kind of deal and like and he even is straight up like why should I go along with this right what's the benefit to me here exactly and she's like well that like the sleet wouldn't like it either like think of your sponsors think of the team like this paints both of us in a negative light and just kind of like we're both high-profile whether we but that or kind of blackmails them and like strong arms them and it's like it'll like [ __ ] up

the end of your career as if is this how you want to go out? Yes. And like like it's not that like explicitly stated, but like very much like that is like the energy and he's like well like tosses Yeah. like tosses the ring pouch on the desk to her and he's like I guess I'll keep wearing this like [ __ ] you very much. I don't think he actually says that but just like Yeah. Yeah. takes off. It's like no longer thinks she's chill. Yes. And so he's big mad and she's like,

I understand why he's mad. Like I like this is a shitty situation. I wish we could have talked it out a little bit more than like how it just played out, but like she's like, well, got to call my PR team and ask them to like release a statement and like this, that, and the other. And like so she's just still kind of handling it amidst all of this and is like I'm going to give him a day to be mad and then I'm going to reach out and like try and follow up.

So then switch to Luke. Luke's mom calls him and is like your aunt called me because she saw it on ESPN. It's like the hockey player in the AIS and like what like I didn't know you like you had sex with the sleep [ __ ] Jesus, mom. Oh, yeah. Like, okay. And he's like, "We don't." He's like, "That Sleeput is the name of one fan group. We don't call them that. That's not what we call our puck bunnies, Mom." Well, and she's like, "So, what would you call her?" And he's like, "My wife." My wife

is mic drop, Mom. Yep. You get it. So, the next text montage, but this text montage is all Natalie texting Luke and him not responding. And like a couple days are going by and like there's like hey like can you call please call me back and then there's like a you'll talk about our marriage in a postgame interview but you won't respond to like my messages. And like after a week she just sends a message and is like you know where to find me. Like I'm I'm not reaching out anymore. You're

traveling. I'm traveling. Like hit me up when you're in town, I guess. Yeah. Whenever whenever you want to talk and be an adult, you know where to find me. But like I've reached out several times with such a weird shift for him because he was absolute desperate Dan at the beginning. He was like, I'm I'm following her around. Like I'm finding her. I'm looking for her. Showing up for her, inviting her to my game. I'm doing this. I'm doing that. And then now he's

like, I hate her. Like you knew her for a week, bro. Well, and to his credit, now that he's calm down, it switches back to his point of view and he's like, now that I'm not really heated about this, like I get where she was coming from. That was the best way forward. and he's like, I I need to reach out, but we have some like away games coming up and I like want to like be here, be here, be set, be be ready for it. And

so he's still dragging his feet. And I think that honestly frustrated me because I'm like, just reach out, bro. Just you can just text her and be like,

"Hey, traveling. want to talk when like you could have said anything at any point in time but like Natalie's dad invite like extends an Oliver and she's like hey Natalie like I know like we have like a biters game this weekend like and you should like invite Luke and she's like oh yeah and then she doesn't because she's like why am I going to reach out to him but then like Luke sees the photo of Natalie and her dad in the owner's box and is like [ __ ] like what did she tell her dad like

how did she explain why I wasn't wasn't there. Like, that's shitty. Like, I should have been there. And he's like, "All right, we have like I think it's Monday cuz he's like, "We have an away game tomorrow on Tuesday." He's like, "Our our next home game is Thursday. I'll be back. Going to like settle all of this then." Yeah. Yes. Yeah. So, it's now the home game. Okay. Natalie is at the sleet game because her dad owns a team and they were invited by the owner of the hockey team of the

sleet. So they're in the owner's box and she's like my husband doesn't even know I'm here like I am wearing a jersey with his name on it at least like trying to play the part but like I did receive the feedback provided. Yes. And she's like well I'm here. I'm like, "Okay, yeah, this is great." Oh, we have plans for after the game to meet at home. Yep. Like, so the owner, however, I'm going to have another sip of wine. Go for that. I'm going to have two more sips of wine.

Have as many sips as you need. But that makes me concerned about what you're about to tell me. Makes me think I should buckle up in some way. Do you have more wine? I do. Oh, should I should I hit that? Okay, don't be nervous. This is an excited sip. So, and Natalie is like trying to be chill. And the owner being very gracious is like, "Oh my gosh, of like you probably want to go down and say hi to him before the game. Like, I'm so sorry. It like didn't even occur to me.

Like, here, like, let me have someone take you down." And she's like, "Fuck, yes, this is absolutely what I wanted to do." So, so they ride down the elevator and when they like when the elevator opens, she just looks at the attendant and is like, "I know my way." And she's like, "I feel like a [ __ ] but like I can't have anyone with me cuz I I can't have any witnesses." She's like, "Okay, my plan is to hide for a couple of minutes and then come back, then go back upstairs, say I saw him,

and move on with my day." Okay. So, she like makes a turn down a hall and then like hears all of the hockey players and she's like, "Fuck." So, she like tries to back up, backs up, collides with someone, they both hit the ground. She has collided with the mascot. What is the mascot for this? Blizz. Is that like what's his name for the the Philadelphia team? Sure. Don't worry about Yeah. Could not. I can see him. because he's so distinct. He's like a giant muppet.

Yes. I kind of pictured it as a white version of that. Like Blizz like Blizzard was how I Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sleet. I don't know. They're all kind of snowy, right? Yeah. I really That's going to Is it Oh, I'm going to have to look it up later. That's bothering me a lot. Um, so when Blizz went down, Blizz hit the ground harder than she did. So she got back up. Blizz did not. Blizz. Bliss sprained his ankle. But Blizz is also like, "This is my second game and I can't get fired.

Please tell me she doesn't put on." And she's like, he's like, "I'm going to need He's like, "You are Blizz tonight." And she's like, "Fuck." Cuz she's like, "How do I make this right?" She's like, "Do I go up to the owner's box again and like explain to the owner what happened? I just accidentally tripped over each other cuz I got turned around." And so she's like, "Fuck it." Okay. She's like And she's like, he's like, "Do you know how to skate?" She's like, "Not

well." And he's like, "But you'll you can stand on two feet." And she's like, "Uh-huh." So he's like, "All right." He's like, "They're about to call you out. She can't even get the costume up over her jeans." So she has to like go down to her bra and underwear to get this mascot costume on. And she How tight is this costume? Aren't they usually pretty baggy? It doesn't matter. I'm sorry. I'm getting caught on the wrong things again. You know, I think it depends on the on the costume.

Like, is it a bodysuit? Once again, from community, the human being. Yeah. Like that situation. Cuz now that's what I'm imagining. You said like a white human being. And when they made the butt flag. Yes. A plurabus anus. That's a different book. So, so she's in the costume in her underwear. She's in the costume. She's in her underwear at this point and she skates out is not doing great. Like skates out is like supposed to be waving the flag

overhead. It's like like it switches to Luke's perspective and he's like, "Yeah, like Blizz like came out a couple beats late." Blizz is kind of holding the flag like a like a jousting stick like like locked in the armpit. Interesting. Blizz falls and Luke is like Blizz's ass looks really nice tonight. And he's like, "Oh my god, I didn't just think that about Blizz. Like, get your [ __ ] together." And he's like, "What a weird thought. Move on with your day." And it just like

doesn't get better. It goes back and forth between their perspectives. Like she at one point is like, "Okay, well if I hold the flag higher, then I can't trip over it, but then lifts it too high so it like gets caught on the net above the glass." And so like she goes down again and each time like like Luke is like, "What is like is he drunk?" Like yes. And he's like alo like that ass is really filling out that

suit. Like what is happening? That's what it has to be some kind of weird tight situation for him to notice the shape of her ass. Truly. Well, then like between periods, Blizz has to go back out. No, but she's wearing sneakers that time, but it's like a t-shirt cannon situation. like she slips again and like to the point that like Luke is like watching it on the television between periods and like almost says like have you guys noticed like Blit like should we go check on Bliss?

But then it's also kind of like I don't want to be Has anyone else noticed that like Blizz is really filling out that suit cuz like that's a weird sentence. Well, and I have to imagine in the owner's box they're like what is she did she die? Like what is she doing down there? like just assuming she's watching the game from a lower like something, right? Yeah. So, this continues the whole game. Every time Blizz like she is Blizz the entire game, but you know what? Good for her.

Yes, she committed. She's like, I want to cry. I kept falling. She said literally zero good options. Like, do I just leave this poor schmuck that I just shoved to the ground or like I'm not going to be the reason he gets fired, right? I'll figure it out. And so she's like, "All right, I have all of my clothes. The game is over. I pose for all of the [ __ ] pictures as

the freaking mascot." She's like, "I just need to find a room that has a lock on it so I can like change back into my clothes and be done with this nightmare." manages to collide in the hall with Luke this time, of course. Right. So, he sees Blizz again. He's like, "Oh, Blizz isn't steady on their feet." Goes down, but the head pops off and he's like, "Natalie." Like, "Holy shit." Okay, that's pretty good, though. That's pretty good. Well, and like as soon as they make eye

contact, she starts crying. Oh. And he's like, "Are you okay?" And she's like, "I fell down a lot." And she's like, "Yeah, you did." And it's like trying not to like laugh. And he's like, "Oh, sweetie, baby. Honey, she's so stressed." It's like when your toddler gets stressed and you're like, "Oh, sweetheart, you're making ridiculous sounds." He's like, "I saw." Yeah. Okay. So, not quite the same. As you know, I used to work in youth ministry years ago. I do know that.

Um I the weekend I moved to Texas and went on staff at this church. They had a volunteer summit and they wanted like the most recent volunteer and it didn't dawn on me like I'm a new intern like I probably shouldn't raise my hand. I'm not a volunteer but I raised my hand. I was like it's my first day and they're like what? Like they're like we thought you were a plant sort of energy. Like it

was that like welltimed. So I go up and I'm doing the game and well no before the game this is [ __ ] So they're like what's your name? And I was like Chelsea. Then whatever next the next question they asked I answered and they go tell us something about yourself. And I completely blanked. In a room of 400 volunteers at a church that I was going on staff at of people I'd never met before. They asked me to tell a fact about myself and I just went, "I really like cats." I mean, that's true.

And the woman running it just went, "And she's single, ladies and gentlemen, and just moved." Yes. So, what a burn. That's very good. Oh, yeah. She's a badass. I still adore her to this day. So, like a couple weeks later, I'm meeting one of the random pastors on St. Like this. Everyone knows who I am. I don't know any of these fools. So, I'm like, "Oh, hey, I'm Chelsea. I'm like the new like youth intern." And he goes,

"I know. I was at the summit." Like the way he said it was this like condolences. The way in which Luke said to Natalie, "I saw." Yeah. Like, yeah. like there's something about when the A is emphasized on Yeah. that's like oh no. Yeah. You're not wrong. So they he apologizes and he's like I'm so sorry. He's like I wanted to reach out. He's like I got her in my head. I didn't know if I should text. I didn't know if I should call. I just like I'm so sorry. Like we I for everything. We need to

clear the air further than this. He's like you were right. I want to I want to talk. I want to listen. Like, let's have this conversation. She says she missed him. It all escalates very quickly and they start making out. It's a very easy reconciliation. But I will say, while she's in the Blizz costume because that's very good. Oh, it gets better. Oh, I do appreciate that like while it escalates, they are both like and we know we'll have to have a conversation after this, right?

So, they start making out. He like pushes her back into the locker room so that way they have some privacy and is like at like his locker cubby. And so he's like, "Turn around, bend out, like let's like get you out of this Blizz costume because I need to [ __ ] you immediately." So they like, "Get part of the Blizz costume off." Um, but the like the section around the neck, they can't get undone and like they're just like, "It won't release. We can't figure it out.

They're too desperate to bone at this point. So she like she's like begging him to bone her. So he just grabs either side of the crotch seams and pulls. So just like has torn a hole in the crotch of the Blizz mascot costume. She bends over. They start going at it. They just start [ __ ] And then suddenly they hear, "What the fuck?" I was going to say they didn't lock the door. They didn't lock the door. They didn't lock the door. This is

a public space. And the poor mascot who has to wear this next time. They're not returning it after this. Get it dry cleananed. Like what do you do? Get it dry cleananed and pit a note to it that says they purchased a new one. Thank you for an incredible night. Like what? Thank you for an incredible night.

So the what the [ __ ] is Luke's best friend Jackson Jesus what who the first book sleep kitten is about him and Ken that could be worse that could be worse than his best friend but Jackson is like I'm not friends with cheaters pull out a blizz right now pull out I'm not friends with cheaters And L is like, I'm not going to do that. And Natalie just kind of squeaks like, "It's me." And Jackson is like, "Oh my god." And looks like, "Yeah, get the [ __ ] out, man."

So, first of all, Jackson is a real one. Yes. way to stand up for a girl you don't really know. That is that you hung out at a bar once. Yeah, that's so lovely to be like, I know you have a wife. Unacceptable. Pull out a blizz right now. Your wife could be [ __ ] Satan. Haven't met her enough to know. But I do know you have one. Yeah. And morally, this is I don't I don't [ __ ] with people who do this. Yeah. So Jackson leaves, they finish, and then Jackson's like, "Can I come back?"

Yeah. And Luke's like, "Why were you standing outside the door?" Like, "Fucking leave, man." And Jackson's like, "Maybe you should thank me for telling the cleaning crew to return in 15 minutes." It looks like touche. You a real one? May have rolled up with not quite the attitude here. It's been a weird day. I didn't read the room.

Well, and so when they go to leave, they see Jackson talking to someone and it's his wife Caitlyn in her cart because she had to drop off the keys cuz Jackson couldn't get his keys cuz they were in his locker. But Jackson's like, "Hey, Caitlyn wanted me to invite Natalie to girls brunch on Sunday at the house." Which was so sweet. And Luke is immediately like, "Yep, she'll be there." And Natalie's like, "The the I don't know these girls.

Do not sign me up for social engagements for people I do not know." Um Luke ends up driving her back to her hotel. It's a perfectly fine hotel. I'm imagining it as like a courtyard Marriott. I don't know, something of that capacity because it sounds like it's like a fine enough hotel, but there's like it's like getting later in the evening and there's no one at the front desk and the doors open automatically and he's like there's no like people there's no security and you're like

Yeah. And she's fine. Yeah. Like it was but like Luke is having his caveman moment, right? where he's like, "I can't let my wife stay here unprotected." Unprotected. What do people think is happening? That's half the time I'm reading these books. Like, what do you think is happening? Most people move through the world fairly safely on a day-to-day basis. Like, there's not a cabal of bad guys out there plotting

against innocent women. And she stayed there for two weeks while you literally didn't talk to her, right? You ignored her and she did fine. Yes. So, but Luke now that he's all in. He is all in. Right. So, he is very like they like get to the room and he's like, "Grab your bags, pack your stuff. You're not staying here. We're not doing this. You need to stay with me where it's secure." And I do appreciate that Natalie's like, "Hold up.

you didn't talk to me for two weeks and I reached out repeatedly like you made a conscious choice. You don't just get to like make this one now, right? And that like takes the wind out of Luke's sales a little bit. And they they clear the air and he's like, "I felt used." And like my ego was hurt and like when I come like I realize like that's what it was, but like my my ego

was hurt and I didn't respond well. And she's like, "Well, I also want to apologize because I wasn't trying to like guilt you or like blackmail you right into a marriage even though that is what I I did. I didn't intend to be coercive, but I could see how it was received as coercive. Exactly. Is kind of that response. And so they're like, "Okay, well, we still like each other. We still are curious about seeing where this will go.

So like, let's date." Yeah. Let's just like we'll stay married because that's easier for everyone else. Like, we'll just keep dating. It'll be fine. if at some point in the future we we break up, we'll just sign the divorce papers when we break up and kind of do it all then. That's kind of the the thought. And she's like, "When we break up?" I'm like, "No, that's not how the full sentence read, but like way to latch on to the part that made you feel the most insecure, as we all tend to

do." Yep. Mhm. Mhm. Oh, yeah. Van said something to me last week. I don't even remember what it was, but he's like, "I don't want you to internalize this or read into it or like feel any type of way about it." And then whatever he said, I just like started crying. And he's like, "But I literally told you I didn't want you to feel it. I warned you not to do this." Which I know is not what he meant, but that's very good. Yeah. I was like, "I know. I know. This is just on me and it's not on you."

That's you know those moments. I was at lunch. Obviously not the same. Um, but I was at lunch with a bunch of people. I think we were getting Mexican and most of us ordered like true hot food and somebody had ordered a taco salad and all of our food came out and then like a full 5 minutes which is a long time for a salad. Yeah. Later her food still was not there and one of the other people went she was like why is my food last? I feel like my

food is always last. And one of the other therapists at the table went, "You should really internalize that." So now we just say that to each other. That's a good line. Yeah. Anytime anybody says anything, we're just like, "You should really internalize that." Yeah. It's very good. I feel like between that and never expected, always appreciated, we cover a lot of bases. We really do. Yes. So, they go back to Luke's place.

His condo is lovely. She like walks in and she's like, "This is what I would pick for myself. Like, this is like a stunning space. Very excited to to be here and kind of see where where things, but also like she fell so much as I was going to say, is she hurt?" Because I imagine she's bruised up a little bit. It's actually an Epsom salt bath.

Yeah, it's really sweet. He like makes sure she's like taken care of and he like gets out a salve that he's like rubbing on like her elbows and he's like rubbing it into her feet when and she like falls asleep with him like taking care of her after she fell on this the ice. I fell so much. I saw Yeah, you did. So fast forward, it's now a couple days later. So, it's time for Sunday brunch. And she's very nervous because she's like, "I don't have a lot of girlfriend." She's like, "I'm really

close with my dad." And then she's also like, "Luke, like you're probably the person I'm next closest to." And then Luke also like has a moment where he feels like a dick because he's like, "We're also friends." And I just like ghosted my friend for several weeks, right? When she was going through something.

Yeah. like she was going through something was move like had a lot going on and like feels that guilt and that weight of like I mishandled this which I did respect that like he owned um and so he's telling her he's like it's fine like you'll go you'll have like you'll make friends I promise they're nice like it's going to be okay very much so um bless it so it is it's going super well at at the brunch. All of the other girls, well, three of them have books as we kind of named earlier.

And then Kaitlyn, who's married to Jackson. Jackson has a sister named Steph. Steph is also there and is a side character in all of this, but does not have her own book, at least in the series. Maybe she has another one. I don't know. I haven't delved into it that deeply, but they're all having a great time. Izzy, who like her dad is the coach, who's she's so sweet, and she's like, "Well, like I like want to make uh Natalie feel like comfortable."

And so I got her a welcome gift. And so they're all sitting there hanging out and like drinking their mimosas. And Izzy's like, "So I got you a little like Blizzed animal." And Natalie turns like beat red. Caitlyn starts dying laughing. And Natalie's like, "Oh fuck." Like, did you tell her? Like, how did this like what's h am I being hazed? Like, is that why they invited me here? Oh, poor thing. And so, like, then Izzy like realizes like how Caitlyn's she's like, "What?"

And then Megan, who is Banshee. So, Caitlyn is kitten. Okay. Izzy is Sugar. Okay. Megan is Banshee. Okay. And she does. Yeah. Okay. Um, she is fun and she does screech. Uh, but they're so they're all there and then Izzy's like, "So, what am I missing here with the way Caitlyn's responding?" And so she tells the girls everything. Natalie does. Yes. Oh, honey. Like, and she's like, you know, [ __ ] it. Yeah. She's like, if I'm going to make friends, like, let's be friends.

Yep. I'm I'mma tell you. I'm going to tell you exactly what happened. Let's see if you really meant it when you said you wanted to be my friend. Well, and then I forget who, but one of them was like, "Wait, so did you just put the suit on for sex?" Cuz they're all laughing at like the Jackson being like, "Pull out." Which is very I'm not friends with cheaters. Oh my gosh. Um, but yeah, so one of the girls is like, "Wait, so did you just put the costume on for sex?" And then Natalie's like,

"No, I was Bliss the whole night." But then all of them were at the game, right? Cuz all of their husbands were playing. So they're like, "They were in the wag box." Yeah. Girlfriends, "Holy [ __ ] you fell so much." We all saw like it clicks for them. They're like, "We were wondering why Blizz was suddenly so unfortunate." this bruise is from and she just imagining her like so Steph uh when brunch is wrapping up.

It seems as though she is has someone that she's secretly dating, Natalie saw her get dropped off by someone but like didn't know that she was kind of maybe like telling something she shouldn't. So they're like, "Wait, is like Steph seeing someone? Is she not?" So when Steph goes to leave, they all sneak out to like follow her. And Natalie's like, "Girl gang, I guess this is what we're It's like she's got all of her stuff." Yeah. She's like, "I guess this is what we're doing."

Carrying her Bliss stuffy. Yes. Well, and it's like so when they sneak and like follow Steph. Steph is getting into Alex's car. Alex is Caitlyn's brother. Okay. But also Izzy's dad, the coach, is now dating Caitlyn's mom. Okay. Who's Jackson's mother? Like just all of the Sure. Sure. Sure. the different

connections. So they're like, "The fuck?" Like they all sneak out and have this just like cute girl gang moment and then all of the guys are coming back around the same time and all kind of see it happen. I'm just imagining that she's like, "I don't know what any of this means, but everybody's real excited about it." Yep. That would be like, "I'm just happy to be here. I guess we're doing this." Yeah. I like it. Well, and so she's standing outside with like her bag and her new

Blizz stuffy and such. And so Luke sees the stuffed animal and immediately gets mad at Jackson and turns and is like, "I can't believe you told Zach." Oh no. Oh no. Yes. In front of all of them. And Zach is like, "Told me what?" And like then the girls are all kind of laughing and Izzy's like, "I didn't I don't know." And then like Megan is whispering into her husband's ear cuz she's like, "Sorry, we don't keep secrets. Going to go ahead." So then Zach's like the only that is banshee energy.

Yes. Well, and so Luke in front of all of them like looks at Jackson and he's like, "If you want to harass me over the Blizzang, harass me, but like leave my girl out of it." And then Zach's like, "The the Blizzbang? The [ __ ] are you talking? You had sex with the new mascot guy?" Yeah. And Natalie's going to be like, "Oh my god, shut up. It's not what like whatever you were thinking. Shut your [ __ ] mouth, dude. Was it's probably my favorite part of this whole book is that whole section.

That is excellent. Yes. So, there's another text montage. They're both on the road like she with between her travel for work and his travel for away games. Like, there are texts where he's like, "We're missing each other by 6 hours." And she's like, "I know it sucks." And is really lame. Uh, but I guess they have there's a fundraising event. Uh, so whenever their schedules align for them both to be back in town, there's a fundraising event that he's going to go

and like support her at. That's more for like her world than his. Mhm. Um, I read too far in my notes and was like, he fingered her when? And I was like, oh, that's going to happen. Yeah. It's good to know there's something to look forward to. They attend. They have a good time. There's references to other couples in a way that like I'm like this couple might have another book. Might have a book. I didn't read into it.

There's probably another series that's like connected to this one or whatever. Exactly. Well, cuz it's like the couple that like at their table at the fundraising event like owns the hotel chain of like who where they were staying in Vegas when the footage got released. So they're like, "Just let you know, we like fired the person who released that footage of you." And they're like, "Okay, thanks." Like, yeah, you a real one. We We made it out. Okay.

Yeah. Um, and within that I' I' like I know we always talk about like a solidifying [ __ ] in a book. I feel like it was more like a solidifying like relationship moment of them like, "Oh, like we're showing up for each other. This is how we engage." like realizing where their worlds overlap and like, "Oh, you know that person? They're here." Huh. And that's more how I like felt reading it in this moment was them just kind of realizing where their worlds over overlapped.

Sure. Um on the drive back to his place, that's when he fingers her. Something to look forward to, you know. Um but also worth noting, they're not in a limo. There's no like divider between them and the driver. They're just like in an Uber. They're in the back of like whatever. Yeah. The town car that she has a driver for. And he did lay like he opened the door and like helped her get into the car, then laid his jacket over her lap in case she got cold and like fingers her under the jacket.

Okay. You know, bold move, my dude. Sure. If that's what works for y'all, that's what works for y'all. Newlyweds, I guess. But like, okay. Yeah. I'm like I'm I'm like, "Oh, that is that feels very high school to me." But like, that's cool. Yeah. I'm like, "She's 32. You're 36." Huh. But, I mean, if everybody was into it. Yeah. If everyone's into it, the driver might have been into it, too. No one asked him. At least, not that I know. We're not here to judge. Exactly. Um, so

it's going well between them. He fingers her in the car. They have great sex when they get home. As things kind of continue moving forward, he still has some away games. She's getting nervous that she's like, maybe not nervous, but she's like, I'm like starting to like really like feel strongly for him. He hasn't invited me to any away games. Does he want me to show up? Does he care? Am I Where are we at? Is kind of where she's

at. She's like she's starting to feel more invested and is like I don't he is my husband but like he's not my husband. Yeah. It's a very weird place to be very thousand% limbo. Yes. Sort of situation. Um and then Luke is also like okay he's like I'm absolutely falling for my wife. I think she's like the best thing ever and like I need to like tell her and like have like a bigger conversation about it soon. He's not great about having conversations in a timely manner

when he thinks he should have them. I'm not getting a sense of urgency from Luke cuz I don't think he realizes that like there should be urgency there, right? Cuz I think he's just like, "Yeah, it's just like we're Christmas. We're vibing. It's how it's playing out." So, he ends up planning a super cute date for when he gets back in town again and teaches her to actually skate and teaches her to stop and everything she needs to know to

be more successful. Should she fall down less, you know, should she ever end up in a situation where she sprains Blizz's ankle again, she'll be better prepared for for what will happen. Um, so things are continuing to like just go very very well between them with that. It's a very cute date. She's very excited when she's like successful at skating and is feeling a little bit more

confident. And when they get back to his place that night, he goes to shower and she's sitting on the couch and she's like, I she's like, I really like am starting to have some strong feelings for him. And like I feel guilty about strongarmming him and like I know like we've progressed, but I don't know where he is. And like I like want to do something sweet and special. And she's like, "Oh, I know." She's like, "I'm going to book us um a stay at the resort where we met in Mexico."

Yeah. And his laptop is just like sitting on like the arm of the couch. So she grabs it and opens it and is pulling up and she's like, "What? There's a suite called the princess suite. That's perfect for us." So like she like goes and starts booking it. But it's also linked to his phone and text messages start showing up on the side. And so a text pops up and it's from Luke's cousin and it just says like squared away that mistake marriage yet. And she's like

mistake marriage. She's like, "Accidental marriage feels different than mistake marriage." So she's like, "Oh, is that what he's calling it?" Exactly. And uh Luke's like, "Lol, like not yet sort of energy." And his cousin's like, "Well, if you need more motivation, like Molly was asking about you." And he's like, "Molly?" And he's like, "Your first love." And he's like, "Cool. Thanks for letting me know." And then his cousin says something like like, "Have you told her yet?" And he's

like, "Not yet." And the cousin's like, "Well, like not telling her is just going to like make it harder." And she's like, "What is this conversation?" And like Luke is like, "Yeah, I'll tell her soon." Or like whatever it was, but she like closes the laptop and is like, "Fuck." Like this is not what I thought it was. I Right. I read too much into it. Yep. We are not aligned. I have stronger feelings for him than he has for me. I forced him into this.

I feel very bad about this. So, she just like decides to like go like she just like hops in bed and like pretends to be asleep and is like I don't want to talk to him. I'll figure this out in the morning. So, the next morning she takes off for work, but like leaves the signed divorce papers on the dining table like with a handwritten note. And she's like, "I'm going to come clean to the board. I'm going to tell them everything." Yeah. I just need to like I don't want you to feel obligated to

stay in this. Like it's not worth it. And so like Luke wakes up and is like, "Oh man, I'm so bummed she already left for work. I like can't wait to see her. She's like the best thing in my world." Then when he's like brushing his teeth, he sees her silicone like wedding ring on the counter and he's like, "She never leaves that laying like what?" So he's already like like his gut is telling him something's off, but he hasn't fully like put the

pieces together yet. So he like goes into the kitchen is like making his coffee and then he like grabs his laptop to do some work. And when he opens it, he sees that the resort is up and he's like, "What?" He's like, "Was she going to book it?" He's like, "We absolutely should. Like that'd be like so fun." And then he like sees that the texts were up and he's like and his gut is like just starts sinking. He's like, "Oh." He's like, "This is not good." And as he's reading, he's like,

"Oh, [ __ ] This is not good." And then he looks kind of beyond his laptop on the dining table and like sees the folder and opens it and there's the note from her that's very much like the I described it in my outline as like a handwritten martyr note, right? It's like, "Sorry for pushing you into this. I can't make you play along. It's not fair to you. Like, right, right. I'm going to make this right. When you find someone to love, like,

she'll be the luckiest girl. And he's like, "The fuck?" Like, "What are you talking about?" And then like looks beyond that and he's like, "Sign divorce papers." And he's like, he's like, "This is not what I wanted to happen here. Switch back to Natalie. It seems as though she has just broken the news to the board and is like coming clean with all of them and is at is at the board

meeting. And as she's kind of like wrapping up everything, she just hears like wife being shouted and like Luke comes in and she's like, "Don't worry about it. It's done. I I told the board everything." And he's like, "I did it." Yeah. And he's like she's like, "I told them the truth." Right. And he's like, "That we met in Mexico and I wanted you immediately. Is that the truth you told them?" He's like, "That you kicked me out of your room so your dad wouldn't

catch us? That that night in Vegas was the best night of my entire life?" Like just very He's like, "That we're perfect together. Like, what all did you tell the board? Tell me everything." He's like, "And I don't know what you why you wrote that in your note." He's like, "Cuz I'm not getting married again. Cuz I'm already married and I'm not getting divorced." So, like Jackson doesn't [ __ ] with cheaters. So, I wasn't the mascot. That's my bestie. I mean, I made it to win it.

Can't disappoint Jackson at this point. Yeah. Declares his love, gives her her ring back.

uh very much the scene in like the romcom movie where like at this point like I don't know when they've collapsed to the ground and are having their private moment then they like kind of look up and see like the whole board has like moved and is like what they say they whispered that part like everyone is very invested cheering for their love her dad is like this is the sort of leadership I've been looking for Stop owning your actions and moving forward. We'll work on the CEO transition

immediately. The company's yours in 6 months, which does feel a little loose if I'm being honest. Okay. Yeah. You know, I was like, we're choosing our moments in this. Um, and that's that's the end of the book. Oh, there are three epilogues. Oh, the first epilogue they have a renewal ceremony. They have a actual wedding. Um, and I'll also say within the epilogues be because this was the fourth and final book in the series, they do like final like point of view,

right? This person's pregnant, this, you know, this person is moving to another country, whatever. Them watching the other couple get married, having like just like reminiscing together. Yes. So like the first epilog they have their renewal ceremony. The second epilog they go back to Mexico and she had a new Blizz costume made that had strategic snaps.

Nice. Yes. Oh, but when they I forgot to mention this earlier, but I was like, "No, no, no." when she when they boned in the Blizz costume at one point she's like he's like sit on the bench so I can take your skates off or like whatever and she's like I can't sit down I'll make a mess. He's like we're not leaving this costume here. Like this is coming home with us. Like so she like folds it under herself.

So I'm like I'm assuming Blizz had multiple costumes on hand because if they only had one it makes sense to have more than one. If they Well, if they only had one they would have been [ __ ] Yeah. So, one can hope that they had two but none had the strategic snaps of epilog. Luke is a big fan of the strategic snaps. And then epilog 3, I don't know. All of the couples are happy. Some of them have kids, some of them don't. Their kids are now playing hockey. It's moving on to the next generation.

The end. Hm. Okay. It seems like a like a a warm read. Like there is some strife and stress and and plot, but it's not like super intense. It won't take you out. Quickly resolved. Like it's not like it the miscommunications draw on for a third of the book and that's the whole plot. It's like, well, and honestly, I feel like I like kept blinking and like I'd be like, "Oh, I've read 20%." Just like with how quickly this one moved because it felt like a lot of it both.

I'm like overarchingly not a lot of time passed, but it it did feel like a lot of time had passed with how it was written. I did read all four. I think SJ Till's writing continues to improve. So, I feel like this one was like the the most well-written of the four. I'll say Sleek Kitten. I was like I couldn't for until like I couldn't tell you what the girl's name was. He just called her kitten. I'm like [ __ ] hell. She has a name.

She's a human. Like there there has to be more to the story, but I don't remember it. Right. And so I do feel like we progressed sure through the four and they are fun. I would recommend them. But I'm also kind of like yes like what what did they do for business? I don't know general business but she knew she could do a lot of good as the CEO.

Really, basically all you need to know is generational wealth, but not so much that you're like lizard people, but like enough that like they're not regular people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're not like us. Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. They're not as as wild as they could be, but they are We are not the same. Yeah. That's that's the energy cuz I feel like there were things that I'm like, "Oh, we just we're not going to like look back on that. We're not going to figure out that next step."

Okay. I don't need to look deeper into this book than this book is willing to go. Sure. And sometimes I do recognize that I ask more of a book than it's willing to give. Yeah. I knew exactly what I was getting. It gave exactly what it promised it would. It met expectations. You get it. So, what what's the rating scale though? Like mascot costumes. Skates. Yeah, hockey skates maybe. Yeah, skates. Yeah, silicone wedding rings. Let's go skates.

Okay. Out of there were four books, which means that there have been eight main characters. If they each own a pair of skates, that's 16 skates total. Oh, okay. That kept going. It really did. Well, I was going to go eight skates, but 16 felt nicer. 16 does feel nicer. I'm going to go like 10, okay, out of 16 skates. Okay, hear me. And I mean this in the best way I can mean it. Mhm. This book won't change your life.

Sure. Yeah. like whatever comfort hockey romcom you're looking for that's not too deep. Yeah. Yes. This is it. Right. This feels and I don't know that I can explain this fully, but it feels like a self-care read where it's not like bully romance. There's no enemies to lovers. There's no big trauma. It's just a light-hearted, nice, warm, comfy Yes. Read. I think that is a great way to describe it. Yeah. Yeah. So, 10 out of 16 skates. Okay. Sure. We could math that down.

Well, that would be five out of eight. Five out of eight. Yeah. Yeah. Look at us. I'll add it. I'll add the series to the list. Yeah. I would recommend it. It's a fun series. Uh the the one with Jackson and Caitlyn, the very first book has like the I think it was going around on TikTok, but there were two books that kind of had a similar scene where uh like the kiss cam was on the girl. Yeah, the other one was what? Icebreaker or No, no, it wasn't Icebreaker. It Something Hearts.

It doesn't matter. Nikki Lawson. Feel like I can name the author of that one, but I can't name the book. I do remember that the dude on the cover of the book looked too young for me in a way that I was like, "Oh, that's uncomfortable. You're a child." Yeah. I'm sure you're a child who can legally drink, but in my heart, you're a child. Yeah. No, I feel that. Yeah. Uh, something hearts, I think, was the

Nikki Lawson one. So, they both had the kiss cam scene, but I do know like the first book in the series had gained some momentum and popularity because that scene had like gone viral. All right. I enjoyed like I think I've honestly read all four of them within the last like two months. So, like they are very easy to pick up and put down between other series when you need a break. Palette cleanser. Yes, absolutely. It's a very good

palette cleanser. I've already downloaded other SJ Tilly series to read. Um I I don't know what to expect of any of them. I I just went, "Hell yeah, I'll I'll download it. I'll see what happens." Sure. Well, why not? I like to live on the edge like that. I know you do. You know, with the mildly spicy Rob Mhm. Mhm. Mhm. Yeah. like mildly spicy. I don't know. Everything's a It's all relative.

Is it no longer mild? If there like do you have to have multiples for it to no longer be mild by our standards at this point? I don't know that you can draw a straight line like that. No, you're not wrong. Is there some like, you know, I don't want to say what do I want to say? monogamous rather than poly sort of dynamics that go on that are that are a little spicy. Oh, well, and I know we've kind of talked about this before. I feel like you can read a book where they're having sex

and there's a little bit of anal play. I don't know, a pinky in the in in the anus and you're like, "Ooh, wow. That's real kinky." In one book, right? Like, woo, that was It's all how it's written. Yes. Because then there are other books where you're like and then he tied her down and blindfolded her. You're like, "Shit, a finger in the anus was just first base." Like in literally literally like he's flogging her like what and you don't know where it's going to land, which does make it a

little hard to to figure. It's all relative. Yes, it is all relative. So, with all that said, 10 out of 16 skates, five out of eight. If you like to do additional division, um, let us know how many skates you would recommend and rate. Please let us know if there are any other books you'd like us to review in the future, and we will see you next time. Bye, smart puppies. Bye. Well, that's it for this week, Smut [ __ ] We hope it was good for you, cuz

it sure was great for us. If you're digging what we're doing, it would mean a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now. Maybe tell that sexy someone to lend us an ear. We love you. We appreciate you. And we'll see you next week. Stay smiley. [Music]