Well, hello all you beautiful people. You know what time it is. Ladies and gents, guys and dolls and everyone in between. Gather around. Get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on. Cuz it's time for Smite Club. Here's your hosts, Chelsea and Hannah. [Music] [Laughter] Hey everybody and welcome to Smut Club.
I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and this is the show where we're two licensed mental health therapists who sometimes daydrink and sometimes don't while reviewing romance novels of varying caliber. Wow. [ __ ] nailed that. You really did. That was smooth as [ __ ] I know. I was like, honestly towards the end I was like, "Oh [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] Am I about to lay down?" No, you just did. What? Did you see that guy who was flirting with Simone Biles
while she was like judging him? Yeah. He wore a uniard that said IHeart Simone on it. And then he stuck the landing of his vault thingy and but then from standing when he stuck the landing he flipped and landed with like his arm incredible like horizontally and he like winked at Simone and she was like immediate nine. It was hilarious. I'll have to see if I can find it. Oh, that's fantastic. Not quite. That's how you landed. Thank you. I love that I landed that way. That's such a long
story. No, I was thinking of um Wipeout. Yes. That Well, it's they renewed it within like the last couple years, but it's John Cena and Nicole Buyers. And it's really funny because they just do like the voiceover, but they're there at like the final challenge, right? And there was one where someone was like, "John, I love you. I love you." Like shouting to him. He's like, "Yeah, thanks. I love you so much." And Nicole's like, "I'm right here." Did you forget about me? Okay, cool. Good luck.
And that's I was like, all of the other judges sitting at that table are like, I'm right here. That's pretty good. Me. Um, okay. That is Wow, we really tangented. Tangented. Yep. Mhm. That's a word. Mhm. Is not. What book are we reviewing today, Hannah? I should just stop before before I Yeah. Today. I didn't even finish the sentence. I should just stop before I And you're like, you should today. Okay, we got this. Reentered.
I feel like you nailing the intro is like a bad omen now because we've just tangential and we can't we just tangential and we can't get off. Twisted Love. Twisted Love is what we're reviewing by Anna Hang. So fun. Also, I think I just I got cocky. I nailed the intro and I got too copy. I think we both did. So, anyway, Twisted Love. Twisted Love by Anna Wang, which um Twisted Love is a book that was gifted to me by a friend
of mine. Shout out to Lauren. Um and she bedazzled the whole cover of the book, which I showed you before we started recording. You did? And it super cool. Is beautifully done. Mhm. Mhm. Well, cuz when you told me that you had a friend who' like bedazzled a book for you, Yeah. I was already a little jealous. Um but I was also like, "Huh, I wonder in like I was like, "Do you read the book after you bedazzled?" Cuz in my head, it seemed like it'd be like really heavy.
Yeah. Yeah. And it whatever kind of bedazzling she did, it was like really lightweight. I was like, "Oh, I am here for this energy." Yeah. And it's a fun texture. My problem is I'll get too into it and then I'll have I'll run out of places to display it and at some points some point Vance will be like Chelsea we can only have so many bedazzled books displayed in our home and there could always be more. Yeah, we've got a decent amount of square footage. I see no reason why I couldn't
keep bedazzling to my heart's content. I don't think you should confine yourself. I guess I will need to move back to physical copies instead of my e-reader in this situation. That would be the the main barrier. Yeah. I don't think I would want to bedazzle my e-reader like well not the front for obvious like but I don't even like the back like I think texturally that would wear on me after a while. Yeah. So anyway, Twisted Love. Twisted Love by Anna Hang. And this one
is a series. Is this is a series, right? It is a series. Um I have not read any of the others. Is this the first in the series? This is the first in the series. Yes. Um they're all um I think sort of interconnected standalones. Got it. Um well uh I So I haven't read this series, but I every time you told me you were going to review it, I said with full confidence I was like, "Oh, yeah. I've
definitely read that." No, I read her other big series, the king of wrath, king of envy, king of like whatever that one is, but I frequently get them confused, but I am realizing I have not read this one. Yeah. Yeah. I thought I had read it also when she gave it to me and then I was like, I'm going to have to look cuz I think I've read Nope. I I haven't. Something about this book,
it just has one of those faces. So, but also I haven't read this one in a way that like I have read this one and yes, we'll we'll get there. Which I think is how I felt about her other series where I was like I haven't read it but I've read it. Yeah, I haven't read it physically but spiritually I definitely have read it. Um so we open with Ava Chen. Um and this is dual point of view. Okay.
She is. Oh, so the other thing I wanted to tell you before we get fully into the review is that this book, there are several chapters that are extremely short and we move back and forth between like different events and different perspectives and different things. Kind of it felt clunky when I was outlining it. I don't think it would be clunky if you were just reading it. Yeah. You're like reading it. It made sense. Trying to explain it feels a little bumpier,
right? So, there may be some parts that I sort of skip al together or just sort of barely mention. Well, the great news, Hannah, is you won't know. I've never read it. The others might. So, this warning isn't for you. They're not here. They're not. This isn't about them. Don't at me. That's I guess what I was trying to do with that whole explanation for how I felt like you're like I realize I'm going to be missing some pieces. Don't come at me for it. Yeah. I didn't think
you wanted a 4hour review. Literally you're like we're long form but I will also say there were some moments when I was like what? So, if something doesn't make sense, please ask because maybe I do know, but you know, I'm I might might not I'm fully willing to ask. I know sometimes before you'd like me to. I've tried to get better at that. I've tried to stop ruining the plot twists of your books by guessing them. You might not get this one cuz it was it was a little
it was out there. Um, so Ava, okay, is she's not having a good day. It's a very terrible day and she is stuck at a bus stop in the rain. She's late for her brother's going away party. It's a whole situation. So, she's a student. She's a photographer. So, she had been on a job. Mhm. And thought she had plenty of time and now she doesn't. The funniest thing, Hannah, is that as you're saying this, my first I just went, "Have I read this?" Well, spiritually spiritually.
Spiritually, yes. Um, so, um, she, it's kind of mentioned in here that she has almost no memory of most of her childhood before nine. And there is trauma in there, okay? Like there's definitely trauma and she has PTSD around like bodies of water. So, pools, lakes, oceans, that kind of stuff. Spiritually, I have absolutely read this. Holy [ __ ] If we get to the end and you're like, "Oh, no. I've definitely read it. I'm going to fall out." Like, no. The body, the fear of the
water sounds very familiar. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So kind of like a because of this trauma, she has repressed memories and so she she doesn't remember anything before age nine, but she doesn't do well with with water, right? Okay. And her brother, older brother, is also extremely overprotective and they are like definitely trauma bonded. So, um, you know, for all of the books we read, you're like, and they're definitely I was like, "Oh, no. Where they're like trauma bonded." I was like,
"Oh, okay. Still not great, but that could have been worse." Yep. I wasn't sure where that sentence was going. So, she calls her brother who is at his own going away party that she is late for. And um, he is midbang and she can hear that and he answers. He did. I can't remember if she called him like back to back or or something, but he was basically like, you know, where are you? Why are you always like this going off to these photography jobs that nobody knows where you're going and
like who you're with? This is unsafe. What? And then he's like, "Someone's on their way to pick you up and hangs up the phone and she's like, "Someone who?" Like, how how do I know? Who is it? Like, it's his best friend. His name's Alex of Of course. Yeah. So, he is 26. He's mega rich. Definitely like How old is I'm sorry I missed that. She's like 22, I think. She's a senior in college. and um he has been best friends with her
brother for eight years. They were roommates in college all through college, have stayed best friends to the point where Alex celebrates all major holidays with them because he doesn't really have any family. Mhm. Um but she has never really talked to him like they are not close. He's very aloof and gorgeous. OBS. Um, if he was aloof and ugly, she wouldn't care. Yeah, she'd be like, "This is makes sense." Even more convenient. I'm good with that. Yeah. Um, so she is clearly really irritating to
him when she gets in the car. He's like really short with her and like snappy, which is kind of his baseline apparently all the time. Okay. Um, but they go to pick up the cake for the brother's party and he tells her that the whole time they've been in the car, her shirt has been completely see-through and she's wearing like a bright red lacy bra um under a white shirt. And I was like, "Okay,
f sure. All right." And so he's like livid that she would even think about getting out of the car when her shirt is see-through. and he's been staring at her tits this whole time like and so she's really embarrassed and mad. Um I remember when I used to work crisis and we had like multiple like units on our like property that like we would have patients stay at, right? And we had a new girl start and her shirt was real
transparent. And I was not the one who had to have the conversation with her, but like the supervisor who did have the conversation with her when she laid out, she's like, "Do you understand like the safety risk that this poses when we like aren't mindful of these things?" And like the girl was like, "It didn't even dawn on me that like Well, what a bold thing to do on your first day at a new job to wear a see-through shirt."
I mean, it might have been like the end of her first like it was like within the first maybe not the first day, but like still like I think it was just more of like I don't think she realized how transpar like it was one where like when the supervisor went to have the conversation, you could tell she was not prepared to have that conversation that day. She's like, I I did not see this coming. I did not realize what I was wearing was inappropriate. Oh my god, I'm mortified. I will never make this
mistake. Yeah. Like just cute like baby angel who just like truly like didn't the the lights in my bathroom are different than the lights here. And like I didn't I had the I went to meet a friend at a coffee shop one day and I looked down and I was like my shirt is see-through. And she's like uh-huh. And I'm like [ __ ] She's like I thought we all knew. I'm
like I'm wearing a cardigan. Like you didn't tell me to like close my Well, looks like I'm wearing a see-through shirt to work cuz I'm going there from here and I don't have time to go home first. Button it. Yep. Yep. I was like, "We are pivoting. Someone tell me." You know, Alex might have been a dick about it, but at least he told her. At least he told her. So, um, she really hates him, and she's just glad she doesn't
have to deal with him very often. Like, yeah, strong hatred cuz he also, this takes place in like the northeastish area. Well, not, no, not really northeast. It's like DC, Philly energy. And so, um, above the Mason Dixon. I mean, it is northeast from where I currently am, so that counts, right? But we're not thinking about our listeners, Hannah. Where are they located? A lot of places. Yeah. Tag yourself. Tell us where you're from. And then think of wherever Philly and DC are in
relation to that. and just like fill in the blanks accordingly. That if you're in the UK, it is southwest. Um, is it south? I was just going to go west. I don't know. I need to look at a map. We'll we'll look at a globe later and determine that. But regardless, I'm not keeping him on track here. This is This is on me yet. She doesn't have to see him. He's frequently a dick. She's what? She's thankful for the ride, but also thankful it's over, right? And um Alex doesn't even So, we switched to
his point of view. He doesn't even want to be at this party, but John is his best friend, so he's here for the party. Whatever. So, John's not even Josh isn't even at his own party. Oh, he was. He was banging somebody in a a bedroom. Were was Was the rest of the the group in the room with them? I don't think they were all in the same room. I'm just saying this is the house party. If you left the party to go bang someone, you're not technically at the party anymore. She said he could be in the
house and not at the house party. You're right. I apologize. So, um, uh, he is just generally agitated about everything. Um, and he's also annoyed that he keeps looking at Ava and like checking on her um, throughout all of this. Um, and he's like, "She's way too much like sunshine for me. Like, I have particular needs. Like, no face to face, no feelings, no kissing." I'm like, "Are you Julia Roberts?" But it feels like so much right now. Um, and so, um, you know, he's irritated
that he finds her attractive. So then the brother comes over, Josh, and he's like, "Hey, I have a favor to ask. I'm obviously I'm gonna be in I think it's Central America for the next year. Please watch out for Ava." Like, I I'm not comfortable being so far away from her, blah blah blah blah blah. Meanwhile, I'm like, "Your dad supposedly lives like an hour away. Like, why do you Well, I was literally about to ask, do they have family? Is it just the two of them against the world?
It's the two of them and their dad. Okay. Their mother um completed trigger warning suicide when they were children when they were like seven. Oh, okay. Um so, Alex, Josh says Alex is the only one he trusts. Her ex is harassing her. He knows any of his other like buddies from college would just try to [ __ ] her. Like, he really wants somebody to watch you, Alex. you won't try and [ __ ] her.
Yeah. And then that's the other thing about this book is both of them have PTSD and there will just randomly be flashbacks. So this is the first one where he has a flashback about a bunch of blood and dead bodies and we get no other information. Um what was he former military? Like did I No, we don't have any information about like we just know his childhood wasn't great and he was raised by his uncle. Listen, Hannah, here's the thing. While some days aren't
wine days, today is a wine day. Today is a wine day. And I'm not sure what questions I've already asked, which is fair. So, some I'm like, I don't know. I was like, I might have missed this, but I don't think I should interrupt to clarify. Please do because at this point I may think that I have already established something and never said it. though. Um, but he is like he doesn't want to agree to this, but he is what are you going to say? No. Right. That's a weird thing to
do. It feels like when someone asks you to be their bridesmaid, right? Yes. You can't be like, "No, I respectfully decline." Right. That's when you're like, "Oh, no. I already had plans to be out of the country." And then you have to plan a trip to be out of the country if you really don't want to be a bridesmaid that bad. Sorry, that got really elaborate. That was so specific. It really was. I'm so sorry. Is there any specific uh story that we're That's all hypothetical. 100% 100% hypothetical.
I am not nor do I have any friends who would even think of doing something like that. Um, that is one of the things about getting older cuz I feel like in my early 20s when you'd like have friends get engaged and be like, "Oh my gosh, what if they don't ask me to be a bridesmaid? I thought we were closer. Like, what the heck?" And now I'm like, "Please, please don't. If you love me at all, if there's any love within your body, please don't ask this of me. I
will show up. I will like support you." But like Mhm. Well, and that's probably not like I feel like there are some people who are super chill about it and then there are others that you're like, "Yep, this is a wild ride and this is not in my budget." Yeah. I've been bridesmaids for both of those people. The one that's like, "Hey, ma'am, whatever. Love you guys. Let's just do whatever." And the one who was like, "We are going to Key West for a weekend."
Well, and also the problem is you don't always know what you're saying yes to until you've said yes and then you're like, "Oh, I thought they were in the first category." Yeah. I've overcommitted. Yeah. Like I didn't have 5K to go to a bunch of day clubs in Miami. Nor is that how I wanted to spend 5K if I did have it. No. No. Okay. So, Alex doesn't want to say yes, but much like being a bridesmaid, got to say yes to it. Unless he's also planning an outof country trip. No, but he is planning
revenge. And we don't know against whom or what for. But what we do know is that he is annoyed about this whole watching over Ava thing because he doesn't want it to interrupt his revenge plans. But then in the same breath, he's like, "But I've committed and that means I'm going to have to move to be closer to her." Wait, what? You get it? Like, what the [ __ ] He's like, I don't want to do it. It could really distract me from my true purpose, but I guess I'm gonna
I haven't read it. Or maybe I have, right? But I do feel like Josh was just like giving more of like a, "Hey man, if ever my sister calls you, can you keep an eye out for her?" maybe text once a week just to make sure she's alive or something like, you know, um, thumbs up this text for proof of life, like I think is what Josh was looking for. Not like a list your house on the market. Right. Right. Right. She doesn't need a
full-time bodyguard. Well, especially if it's going to interfere with capital R revenge with his murder plot. Um, and it is a plot that we will get to. So, the day after the party, um, Ava is helping her brother get all of his stuff out of his house, um, to put in storage for the next year. He has sublet the house to surprise Alex. He's moving in. He lives next door to Ava because that's how overprotective Josh is. Wait. Okay. But also the timeline of this, the party was the night before.
He's asked Alex the night before. So he was leaving and didn't have a sublet plan already in place. Yes. I don't know. I don't think that was ever addressed. But what I do know is Alex is moving in next door to Ava. Okay. Yeah. So spiritually I have absolutely read. So, she's super pissed um that her brother doesn't think she can take care of herself and everything. Um but then a couple of days later, Ava kind of feels bad that she was kind of a [ __ ] to Alex and he didn't really do anything.
So, you know, she feels bad about it. So, she makes him some cookies to be nice and takes them over and um he's really nice and like invites her in and they have kind of a nice conversation. Um, and they sort of have a weird bond because he has highly highly superior autobiographical memory, which is that thing where people remember every single thing of every single day of their lives in like full detail.
Um, for those of you who like to watch the show Superstore, Sandra had highly highly superior autobiographical memory. I forgot about that. Yeah, me too. Until I was reading this and then I was like, "Oo, quite frankly, I kind of forgot about Sandra." A and then as soon as you mentioned her the most Sandra core thing you could do. It really I'm like that feels accurate.
I do really like her. I do. But I do also feel like Superstore was really [ __ ] with it for like the first several seasons and then I was like, "Oo, y'all making some political statements that I did not need on a show. I was just here for the laughs." No. Well, and I think the last couple of seasons just weren't as funny. Yeah. Like they just didn't quite hit the same the last couple of seasons. Yeah. It's Well, I also I'm like, where were you
taking the story line? There were only so many places you could I think we could have bowed out gracefully and not made it weird. Yeah, like season 4. Yeah, that would have been a great time. Anyway, I mean, if you all want our feedback podcast, I might I might just reach out to info peacock.com and provide them my feedback. Dude, I'm going to do that just to see what happens. Like, I want
to know. Are they respond? I tried to reach out to him about like something about their app that I was actually having an issue with, but apparently like the account was under Vance's name and they're like, "Well, we can't verify you're an account owner, so we can't take your feedback." And I was like, "This is not set up to actually do anything. I shall move on." It's like a requirement of the Better Business Pure
or some [ __ ] for them to have. I was like, maybe if I want to spend time someone emailing, like if I want to spend time emailing someone, I should email my representative instead of a streaming service. Yes, exactly. I'm like, I should maybe spend my time doing other things. So, they have a nice conversation. He's right. So, he has the superior memory and Ava can't remember anything before age nine. And so, they have a little like LOL must be nice at each other about it. Um, and it's like
kind of a nice moment for them. And then Ava's like, "This is [ __ ] weird." And just like takes off. She's like, "Why is he being nice? I don't trust it." Yeah. She's like, "This isn't our dynamic." Yeah. This is weird. Um, so uh, Alex is um at an MMA fight gym that he's been a member of for a long time. And um, he finds out they're starting a new self-defense class. And he's like, "Ava should take that. like she should know
how to protect herself. And so he texts her the information and she doesn't answer right away and he starts to panic like fully and he texts her again and he calls her and she's not answering and he's like livid about it. So um how much time has passed? Like half an hour. And so then or an hour because then he goes to Ava's house um and she's not there but her roommate is there and she's like Ava is with a friend like chill out. I know right where she is. She's fine. Don't worry about it. Yeah.
And um he is like I don't really give a [ __ ] what you say until I speak to her and lay eyes on her. Unacceptable. And tells her to give him the address. And she's like, "No, but I'll take you there because I'm going to be with you because if I had time to pop popcorn, I would." She's like very into this. She's like, "I don't know what's happening, but I like it a lot." And this might be something I missed. Is there a looming concern over Ava
that's like making him this? Like cuz I know you mentioned like the ex-boyfriend was hassling her a little bit, but I'm like is that like a he's like stalking her or is this like a It's like he's still calling her and she's annoyed because he cheated on her and she's like I don't know how else to tell you. I'm not getting back together with you and he's still calling to say like let's get back together. I don't think we have all that information yet, but that's the
point. So there's no looming threat that was like the catalyst to all of this that would cause someone to freak out if they hadn't heard back within an hour. No. But the like underlying implication for a lot of this book is Alex is like, "I know bad people are out there because I'm a bad bad man. So something bad could happen to her and she's my sunshine." So that is the nickname she gets and I
think it's on page like 20. So Despicable Me three, the villain was like a 80s child star sort of energy and the the slogan his like tagline was like I've been a bad boy and that's when you said Alex being like and there are bad people out there cuz I'm a bad bad boy. I know you said man. Well, I almost said boy and then I was like it's too patronized. I I can't do the alliteration today. And was like, no, I don't know why. That was the line for me. So, Jules takes him to where Ava is.
She is doing a budois shoot as a model for a friend of hers who is in one of her photography classes cuz that's what she's in school for. That's a photographer. Male or female? It is a It's a It's a bad boy. It's a bad boy. Well, he's actually lovely. Of course he is. Alex is a douchebag. So, Alex gets there and he just like loses his [ __ ] and he like snatches the camera out of the guy's hand and like starts deleting the photos and is like, "You delete them
off your computer right now." And like all this other [ __ ] And Ava is like, "What the [ __ ] is happening?" She's like in this like strappy lingerie situation and she's like, "What the [ __ ] are you doing?" Like, like what is happening? Like like and they have an audience of like the photographers's roommate who also was home and there is watching and Jules is watching and Ava is like like Alex like like legit explain yourself.
What are you doing, my dude? Yeah. And he's like, you will never photograph her again. Ever. Don't even ask. Don't even think. And he's like raging on the inside that other men are seeing her in this strappy lingerie. And it's like, brev, we are going from like 6:00 to midnight in a way that like daylight savings time has happened. And now 6:00 and midnight feel like different times. Not like in the winter when it's the same time.
I'm talking about spring forward [ __ ] I'm not talking about any fall back. I overexlained it. I was here for it. I was like, how deep is she going with daylight savings time? That was incredible. Yeah. So, I love when I spiritually read books like this and you're like, they're like, "She's so annoying. She's so annoying. She's so mine." Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, "Wow, we really pivoted quickly." Yes. So, a few days later, all right, Alex gets her home.
She has not spoken to him. She's livid, right? I mean, she's super pissed. And so, she's hanging out with her best friend and roommate, the popcorn one, and a couple of her other friends. Jules feels like a a supporting character. We like we do. And I think she gets a book later. Hell yeah. Um but um they decide to orchestrate what they call operation emotion because none of them have ever seen Alex emote before until he went and like raged at the
photographer. Right. And they're like, I thought he was a robot this whole time and suddenly he's a screaming robot. A raging robot. Oo. Again, we love alliteration. So Jules is like, if you can't make him angry, what else can you make him? let's make a list. And so, um, she feels bad that they're kind of like making fun of him a little bit, but she's also like, I am a little bit curious, though, so I think I am
going to do it. So, that night, she winds up waking up from a nightmare um that she was drowning in a lake and she was crying for her mom. And that's all we get is that. It's pretty dark. Um, and then we cut to Alex who is also remembering his past and it's his parents and younger sister were murdered. Um, and so he was raised by his uncle and has been like on a revenge mission since he was 12. His family died
when he was 10. And so, um, basically every night because of his, uh, memory, he will intentionally relive the traumatic event to like maintain his rage. And he even talks about like that he he was forced into therapy when he was a teenager and stuff because of everything that he had seen, but it never worked because none of the therapists seem to understand that like he wanted to be miserable. Like that's in the book. Like he wanted to be miserable and so the therapy didn't help
which Okay. So he has a personality disorder. Yeah. Yeah. Mhm. He sure does. Like Lexapa Pro ain't touching this [ __ ] No, we're going to need Geodon and some other stuff. But anyway, um B52 him every day. Well, I was thinking a mood stabilizer and I was like, well, Geodon's a mood stabilizer. It does some other stuff. But I was going to say Geodon's not like the lowhanging fruit. is the one that came into my brain. Oh, lamed. Oh, I'm not just going to name
pharmaceuticals. Okay, so um Ava decides that first she's going to see if she can make Alex sad. So, she takes a walk to remember and Marley and me over to his house and some cookies. and and some cookies. He's on his way out for a date when she goes to um to see him. And uh she tells him that she was worried that he was going to be lonely because he moved out of the city. Um but since he's got a date, obviously
he's fine. She's so sorry for interrupting and he's like just come in and cancels his date and they have a movie night. Um, and my notes say they watch Mandy Moore slowly die of cancer and Alex has no response. So Ava makes a joke about him being a robot and like pretends to be looking for like a control panel on his back and is like touching him and he loses his [ __ ] and like does not appreciate that she was touching him and somehow she winds up in his laugh or his laugh his lap.
um and basically telling her for some reason that she's a naive little [ __ ] basically and like why is she so dumb? And oh yeah, here's the nickname arrives. We're 25% in sunshine. Um 25% in further than I expected. Yeah. Yeah. He's been thinking it this whole time, but he's finally said it out loud. Um, so I do feel like anytime I see a book that is labeled as a grumpy sunshine romance Yeah. the nickname is sunshine. Yeah. That is the lowhanging fruit. Yeah. It's
just right there. Um, but somehow they wind up laughing together a little bit and it's it's bizarre. So then they just go on because I'm like if somebody calls me a naive [ __ ] while I'm straddling their heart on I'm not gonna be like like the silliest things. Such a silly goose. So you're a bad boy. Jesus. So Ava falls asleep during the second movie. Ava decides to put during Marley
and Me. Yeah. She fell asleep during Marley and Me, which is one of those movies I would turn off before the end, personally. So, yeah, not a loss there. And also, quite frankly, if you just made me watch A Walk to Remember, I'm not saying yes to Marley and me next. Yeah. Yeah. Um, same there. That's a quidd pro. Like, I mean, there was no quid. She wasn't really offering anything except her presents and I think some cookies. So yeah, I mean I was more thinking like Lethal Weapon as the
second movie. What a duet which ironically one of the dudes from a walk to remember was in the TV adaptation of Lethal Weapon and then they killed him off and it was a big dramatic thing. Sure. Because him and uh Papa weighins had beef. It was a whole thing. like another like character was like, "You can write me off the show as well if y'all are going to like [ __ ] him over like that." Like it was wild when it went down. So,
not the same. Do you do you not the same, but do you remember the show beef on BET? Yes. So, I don't know why, but I was scrolling through something and saw something about 50 Cent and had this like full body memory of that time that he was on beef with Jaw Rule and it was incredible. And then how in 2018 50 Cent bought all of the tickets that he could for Jaw Rule's like coming home from prison concert and so nobody was there. I mean, it's that one is like incredible. That
one is straight up diabolical. It is so good. Yes. It's like the ultimate flex because it's like I have so much money that I don't mind giving you a significant amount of it just so that you have a shitty time. What? Incredible, man. And especially like I don't know. I think of my husband being that musician who's just like playing in a bar to 10 people and you're like, "Yeah, finally sold out. People
are here." And then it's like there's one person on the lawn seats and you're performing for them and them alone. Deeply awkward. Oh, that would not I used to uh when we still lived in Nashville, I would teach yoga Mhm. for a nonprofit that uh focused on bringing yoga to communities that wouldn't otherwise have access to
fitness. And there were like I taught like at local libraries and outreach centers and things like that, but there was one place where like the class never really took off and I was like we can just like drop this and I'd be like, "Okay, well like no one's here. Looks like I'm going to go." And then like one person would walk in. I'm like, I love teaching a oneperson yoga class.
Yeah. I was like, we're going to treat this as a one- on-one situation because if I treat this like I'm teaching a full class for just you, we're both going to feel weird about it. I'm like, this is not not the mood at all. Um, okay. So, she falls asleep during Marley and me. Yes. So, Alex puts her into his bed because he doesn't have any of the other bedrooms set up. And so, also, why were they putting all of Josh's stuff in storage that like they didn't need to? I
don't know. Not like none of this actually makes sense. So, like, well, Chelsea, those are the questions you don't need to ask. Well, no, because none of it makes sense at all. So it it does make sense to me that the logistics of the move don't make sense because much of the plot that didn't make sense in my brain. Yeah. So So he takes her to his bed. Yep. And after he canceled his date. Yep. And he feels bad that he's attracted to her and but still puts her
in his bed. So then he's working cuz he has insomnia while she's asleep. And then all of a sudden, she just starts screaming bloody murder and is very clearly having some kind of night terror. And he knows that he's not supposed to wake her up. And so he's like, I just have to watch her, I guess, and make sure she hasn't hurt herself cuz she's like flailing around and stuff. Um, is that Are you not supposed to wake someone up in a night chair? I'm learning something here. I don't know
that that's true. He just said, "Well, I know you're not supposed to wake them up because they can be really disoriented and it can make them, you know, lash out or harm themselves because they're so disoriented." And I was like, I mean, I guess, but but also when you are then able to like ground yourself back in to reality, that's good for you. Yeah. You can like name name five things you can hear, four things you can see, three things like and like we have grounding techniques
for when you awaken. Um apparently Ava doesn't but I like I might actually like legit I'm I'm curious about that. I'm going to look into that after this. So she just stays asleep. She doesn't wake up out of it. She like kind of like like tapers off and she stays asleep. So then Ava wakes up with her hand on Alex's dick in the morning and like freaks out a little bit cuz she's like, "Where am I and what is
happening?" You know, valid. Yep. And then they both once they're both up make jabs about, "Oh, you're not my type." Um, that happens in every single one of these where it's like, "Don't worry, sweetheart. I would never be attracted to you. You're not my type. Don't worry, sunshine. You're not my type. And you're like, good sir, you can't have both. Handle me. I'm reading a book right now where it's a it's a Red Riding Hood one. Um, but he's like, "Were you too kinky for that
other guy?" And he's like, "What? Did you want him to lick you?" And I was like, "That's kinky? Where?" I was like, "What kind of
licking? I don't but also I don't know what would be I don't like I mean I don't need to to hypothesize or well I was like oh but I am a little like I was like I didn't think I was that far out there but apparently you know it is interesting because I I think especially with like the amount of books we read the amount that we just kind of like know about these communities at this point. I'm like, "Yeah, I'm definitely not that kinky in the full spectrum of like how far I can see it
go." And then I talk to some people and the way in which they talk, I'm like, am I? Oh, am more okay, maybe I am more than I realized. And I was like, I really don't Yeah. I I I don't think I'm that wild by any stretch. I grew up with a lot of church repression. Like the puritanical values are strong, man. And so then may like the things I'm like,
"Oh, well, I feel wild." And then I'm like, and then I look at other things, I'm like, "Well, I'm clearly not like but then I talk to some people, I'm like, "Well, maybe I It's a spectrum, you know?" Yeah. But I also I don't I think there's something about feeling safe enough in your relationship that you're like, I don't know if I'm into that, but I'm I want to try it. And I'll try it with you. Yeah, I'll try it with you. And yeah, and I feel like you you quickly know if you're into it or not.
Oh, yeah. There's not usually a Well, huh. I don't know. Might have to try it again. Do that again. To the left. Slower this time. No, I don't think that's for me. Now that you've hit it from a different angle and at a different speed, I can say with confidence. So then um that later um she decides that it's time for phase two of operation emotion. And also just so I when we say later, is
this like the next day? Is this just kind of like Yeah, life is life and and yeah, probably within the next week she's like I'm going to move on to phase two. Okay, so this one's discussed. Sad was a failure. Operation sad was that would make me mad more than sad. Yeah. And don't tell me anger is a secondary emotion. Don't talk about the anger iceberg to me. The anger ice. It is actually a really helpful visual. It is actually. Oh god. Okay. So, um she decides the next one is
going to be discussed. And so, a few days later, she makes um I'm going to get his consent this time. Like the first time she was like, I'm just going to try and make him sad. And this time she's like, "I'm going to discuss it first." No, no, no, no. She She decides she's going to do disgust. The emotion. Disgust. I thought you said she's going to discuss it first. No, she's Disgust is what we're trying for. Not discuss. I'm really glad we've clarified that. You know, that is an
important distinction. So, um, she Okay, so she's she's justing all of these on him and she's just trying to gross them out. Yeah. Yeah. So, she makes the nastiest cookies she can possibly think of because he she has baked for him a few times and he's clearly really enjoyed it. So, she makes garlic, asparagus, and raisin cookies and takes them over to his house and is like, "Hey, I tried this new recipe.
Will you try it out and see if you like it?" And he eats one and he's like, "You made this?" She's like, "Yes, you also made those other cookies you brought over here before." And she's like, "Yes." And he goes, "These are fine." And she's like, "I literally threw up." She's like, "I tried one and I threw up and he had no response. They're fine." So, another failure. And this is an interesting energy. She's really trying. So, then she decides on happiness and she plans a picnic for
them. But um a dog pees on Alex's shoes while they're at the park. So that one didn't work either. So the next phase is supposed to be fear, but she can't think of anything that would scare him. Um she even asks her brother for help lowkey. She's like, "Hey, Halloween's coming up and I want to prank Alex. What's he afraid of?" It's like literally nothing. She's like, "Spiders, clowns. Come on. Tell him my safety is in jeopardy. That would scare him. There you go. Not mine. And it
will. No, probably not you. He doesn't seem to care about anybody except for Ava. Um and even that it's only when there's an east blowing wind. Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. Um only when his guard is down. So Ava's out with friends and um Operation Emotion is definitely a failure. And while she's just having a good time, um her ex shows up again demanding that they get back together and she flat out is like, "No,
absolutely not." And then he very quickly escalates to like calling her names like, "You're a stuck up [ __ ] Why won't you forgive me? I said I was sorry." Which is an interesting um I always find that to be an interesting approach. Yeah. So um he's like, "Who are you fucking?" like is that why you won't get back together with me cuz you're a little [ __ ] now? Like this whole and it's like excuse me. So she kicks him in the balls and um good for her. Yeah. She's pretty freaked out by
it but she's like I handled it. I did it. So then a few days later they are at a or Alex is at a gayla uh for the university and Ava shows up looking incredible. He was not expecting to see her there. And he gets really mad when she starts dancing with somebody. Um, of course he does. And he finally admits to himself that Ava is his, that he's been lying to himself all this time. We're like halfway through the book and he's just now like, "Oh, okay." So, um, maybe
I am into Ava, right? Now upon further reflection, so um he gets sidetracked by some woman he used to be banging. Um, but by the time I also feel like in all of these books that I've read spiritually, it's always a double standard with like an ex that's like a super hot beautiful. They typically want the dude back as well at some level to varying degrees of desperation. Y, but and it's always that like, oh well, they meant nothing to me, so I don't understand why the girl's
upset about it. But like if a dude looks at the girl, they're like, "I'll [ __ ] rip his eyes out of his body." And you're like, "Bro." Right. So this is the girl that he canled his date with to hang out with Ava. Oh, okay. And he tells her like their arrangement is off cuz they both had agreed to like strictly physical whatever. Um and so then he decides to um dance with Ava. He cuts in with somebody and starts saying something and she's like, "You don't really know me." And he's like, "I can
prove it." She's like, "What's my favorite color?" And they go down this whole list and he like gets every answer correct. Um, and so then he loses track of Ava as the night goes on. Okay. Question. Mhm. Do you think what's my favorite color or what color are my eyes is a bigger question in that moment? Well, she's Asian, so I feel like what color are my eyes? I didn't mean in this book necessarily. I just meant like when
we read these spiritually. Sure. I think Well, I mean, he's been staring into them while he's they've been dancing, but both questions are irritating to me. There is something like, "What color are my eyes?" One would hope that like you would like. Yeah, I can answer that one cuz I'm looking at you as I answer it. It does take a little bit more to know your favorite color. I do feel like the eyes are a gimme when they're like, "I closed my eyes and asked him what color are my
eyes right after I closed them." Like, and he was looking at you presumably. So, I don't think I ever paid attention to Vance's eyes. I don't think I like for a long time I could have told you. I'm like, he's brunette, so probably brown was like I think my answer the first time someone asked me I'm like he has eyes. They seem to work. Yeah, sure. Well, he is legally blind or close to legally blind. So, I take it back with corrective lenses. They work great as intended.
Okay, so he gets all of the answers right on her like, "You don't even know me. Let me prove it. What's my favorite color?" And he's like, "I'll tell you that and your favorite food and your favorite thing." Mint chocolate chip ice cream. It's like the whole thing. Yep. So then, um, he loses track of her. Um, and he goes to leave a little while later and he hears Ava say like, "Get away from me. like, "Leave me alone."
And so, um, it's her drunk ex. He showed up again and he has her like pinned to a wall and is like, it's messed up. But she, um, he's like going on and on about how much he loves her and this other girl didn't mean anything and please take me back and I miss you so much. You get it? So then she headbutts him in the face. Good. She's like, "Absolutely not." Like before Alex can get there, she's like,
"Go [ __ ] yourself." She's like, "I can't get him in the balls this time cuz the way he's got me pinned, but I got a forehead." All right. I like Ava more than I like Alex. I feel like Ava likable just reads young. Yeah. But like not bad, just young, right? Not in the like painfully immature. Yeah. Or painfully ignorant kind of way. just in a she's in her early 20s and hasn't had enough life yet to like Yeah, she's
acting like she's in her early 20s. And hell yeah, because also there's something about being in your early 20s where you feel a little more invincible. Yeah. There's a certain freedom that you lose over time. Yeah. There's in my early 20s I would have been like, "Fuck yeah, I'm going to headbutt that asshole." And now I'm a little bit like if I yell louder, somebody's going to
hear me. I'm in a room or in a Yeah, I am a little like I I don't know if I'm going to think through that situation the same way that I I would have 10 years ago. It hits different. It really does. Um but then Alex like then arrives and beats the ever loving [ __ ] out of this guy. Um Ava wants to call an ambulance and Alex is like, "Somebody else will find him. We're going home." And like leaves with her and he is
livid. he overheard something the ex said about, you know, last week or one of them mentioned when he cornered her in the bar. And so Alex is like, "Why didn't you tell me like he's really mad?" Okay. So, like the way in which it was discussed, Alex recognizes that it wasn't like a good interaction that they had. Right. Um, and I just feel like in some of these it's like the wait, were you on a date with him a week ago? It's clear she didn't want to talk to him.
But Alex is like extremely furious about the whole thing. But then when they're in the car heading home, she suddenly has a flashback of when So this is when we find out her mother tried to kill her. That's why she has this fear of water. Her mother pushed her into the lake um knowing she couldn't swim when she was about four or five. And so Alex is fully panicked about this because like he's pulled the car over. He's like what? Like what just happened? Like you know cuz he doesn't know what's
going on. Um so he just decides to take her to a diner, get her some coffee, get her some food, like make sure that she's okay. And so then she tells Alex more of the story of her past. her parents were divorcing and um it was pretty messy divorce and um her mom had some kind of full psychotic meltdown essentially. Um and pushed her into the lake. Um and then her dad just happened to be stopping by the house to drop something off um and saw it and was able to dive
in and save her. Um, and so later her mother died of an overdose and it's unclear, but it seems that it was intentional. So they have this like heartto-he heart where she gets really vulnerable. Um, and she admits to herself that she really does like him actually. Um, which also I don't know when you've been best friends, which I mean I guess like some of this being like repressed memories Josh wouldn't have had like context for,
but it does but the dad was there. Like the dad could have said what had happened. Well, so she knows what happened because her dad has told her what happened. Okay. And then she has these flashbacks of like her being in the water and crying for her mom, but she doesn't remember like anything really past that. Her dad is the one who told her the story. I really feel like Josh would have mentioned that this to his best friend at some point. Well, it seems like neither of them talked
about their pasts. They're both just like they're [ __ ] up and we don't really have family like that. We're not going to ask any questions. It seems like they co-signed each other's desire not to discuss the past. Yeah. Agree to Yeah. You know what you need to know. Not agree to disagree, but agree to just
not about this. Yeah, that's fair. I'm also like maybe if you're like having him move into your house to like watch your sister though and this is part of why you're so overprotective of your sister, that would be helpful context to to pass along. So, in all of this, um, Ava asks Alex if she can photograph him, and he agrees. So, we flash forward a few days to the photo shoot. Um, and she's trying to get him to show
some emotion. Um, and somehow it comes about as she's trying to evoke something so she can take a picture of it. um they somehow admit that they're into each other. Um but he's like a person can be hot and that doesn't mean like you can be attracted to someone and not be like compatible with them and like I would never do that to Josh and basically he like shuts it down and it gets kind of awkward. Um so then again several days later Alex
is in his office. Um, my notes say continuing to plan his world domination and vengeance. Um, capital R revenge. Capital R revenge. I feel like there's a Google doc. It's like revenge plot. Like there's another one called revenge draft, too. Well, and his his uh thumbnail profile photo on Google is the V for vendetta Guy Fox mask. Yes, without question. Would not bet against that a day in my life. So, he gets a notification while he's in his office of a live stream that somebody has tagged
Ava and the chick, his ex in. They were videoed fighting. What? Yeah. And so he's like, "No." and like takes off to Meline's house, which is the girl. Did he know Meline from the MMA gym? Also, did Ava ever go to the self-defense classes? She did start going after he made a second request when she got pinned to the wall. Um, fair. So, Meline is super rich also, so they run in the same circles and that's how they
met. Um, but Ava's at a house party. It is a random house party that she went to with a friend who was invited by some other friend of a friend. As is the house party way. Yep. And she winds up in Alex's ex's pool room of her house because there's an indoor pool because they're rich. That's something I left out in this. Everything is like he drove up in his Aston Martin and he had on his whatever, you know, [ __ ] Armani suit
or whatever. You said house party and I have really just been thinking about when I was in my early 20s and lived. That's the era in which I was living in Nashville. And it wasn't just house parties. It was house shows. Oh yes. Some were better than others. Yes. And the problem was house shows are too intimate. Like a house party. Yep. You're one of many. You can blend. Yep. Fade. A house show. Nope. You're locked in. Yep. And you cannot get out. Nope. It's like [ __ ] Hotel
California. It is a little bit cuz it's like if I get up to pee, are they going to think that I hate them? Yeah. It's awkward. One had a hug circle. Oh, yeah. The hug circle that you couldn't get out of. No. And I still think about my friend who brought me to the party who wasn't in the hug circle. And I don't to this day I don't know how she managed to avoid it. Um, she's just better prepared than you, you know? Probably. Maybe she just saw
it coming. I don't know. I was not By the time I realized what was happening, there was no easy way to leave the group hug. There was no smooth transition at the end. No, there was no like, I need to go refill my drink. It's like, "Oh, my arms are starting to go up around y'all." And I'm going, "Can I bring these back?" Do I strike a power pose? How do I do it? I'm going to Brenne Brown my way out of this [ __ ]
Oh [ __ ] Yeah, the struggle was real. So Ava found herself in a similar yet different situation where she somehow found herself at Alex's ex's house and she has no idea who this woman is. And but it's a rich house party. It's a rich fancy house party. So isn't that just another gala? Like what? I don't feel like people at a certain tax bracket are having trashy house parties. And not that they're trashy, but you know what I
mean. I mean I do. I don't know. But so Meline just is like, "I saw you dancing with Alex." Like, "You'll never be able to meet his needs." And D cuz he's a man with certain interest and tastes in the bedroom. And she's like, "He's into choking and degradation. If he hasn't called you a little [ __ ] he has he even really [ __ ] you." She's like all the way like this is not women supporting women. She's like off the chain about it. This is not women supporting women.
I'm sorry, but it's not. Has he even [ __ ] you yet? If he hasn't called you a little [ __ ] right? This is not supporting women. It's not. And she's like, "He'll only take you from behind. Like, there's no way you could keep up with him." Like all this [ __ ] And what do you keep up with him? Yeah, if it's from behind, there's not much work that you're doing there. Not particularly. I mean, could put a little wiggle in it, but you could grab a toy. I'm just saying it's limited options in
that position. It is. Yeah. So, Ava responds in a way that I really enjoyed. Um, and she was like, "Maybe he only did you from behind cuz he just didn't like looking at you." Like, she's like, "Have you ever thought of that?" Probably not going to help her in the moment, but I do respect it. No. Um, I think Ava this whole time has just been like handling her own. For real. She's like, "I don't need you." So, unfortunately, at this point, lest we forget, they're in the pool room.
Meline loses her [ __ ] and pushes Ava into the pool. Immediate trauma response. Like her whole body locks. So then for as much as we've been joking about their fight, I can also I'm just like, oh [ __ ] Like that's really [ __ ] up. Like so that's one thing that like in some of these books it's like oh the trauma is real. Like those are things that really could happen. Like that's how that could
really go down. And so there's a certain amount of like difference I want to give traumatic events, but also that fight was hilarious. Like we can we can experience that dialectic. So we cut out of Ava and we go to Alex and he's just gotten to uh Meline's house, but Ava is gone. He finds Meline, basically pushes her around a bit, threatens her family business. um and is like, "Where is she? Tell me where she
is." Whatever. And um Meline's friend happened to be nearby, knows about her fear of water, was able to get her out of the pool, and immediately took her home, obviously. Oh, so there was a kind human there. We love that. Yeah. The friend she went to the party with that she didn't know like all this was going on. Oh, okay. Yeah. So he gets to Ava's and her friend um is like, "She's not she is not okay. Like just for the
record, she really wants me to leave. So that's why I'm on my way out, but like you should probably stay. Like somebody needs to be with her." And they have another heartto-he heart where she has a little bit of a breakdown and says that she's just tired of being afraid. um she wants to be able to travel, but the idea of being in a plane over the ocean is like absolutely unacceptable. Um and so she asks him to teach her how to swim, and it's a very like sweet moment.
So weeks go by at this point, Alex has been helping Ava like visualize water and practice grounding skills. So he's doing exposure therapy, like incremental exposure therapy. And so, um, he's helping her with like meditation and breathing exercises and things like that, um, before they try the real thing. And not even at that that level by any stretch of the imagination. Sure. Seasons ago, could not tell you when.
Probably 10 years ago now. I remember there was a season of the challenge where there was a swimming compet like one that was like happening in a body of water. Sure. And one of the competitors didn't know how to swim. Oh. And decided to go for it anyway. In a way that like part of you wants to applaud their bravery, but the other part was like, oh no. Watching them jump in, they could not swim at all and had to be rescued
out of the water. And you're like, that was stressful to just watch you flail in the water on television knowing that there were like so many [ __ ] people immediately around you to jump in and help you and that like you were safe. But even just watching that how stress inducing it and that trauma attached to it, right? That's just like someone who didn't know how to swim. Not including not knowing how to swim attached with a legitimate fear of
water, right? I also growing up in Florida, it just like I'm like, "Yeah, this is what you do." Like everyone's a fish. She like dived to the bottom of 10ft swimming pools for batons. Like Yeah. Well, like we had classes as soon as you could crawl where they threw you into the pool and you learned to flip over to prevent drowning. Like literally as soon as you could crawl, you were being thrown fully clothed into the pool
so you can learn to flip over. We really need to sign Ford up for some swimming classes. Oh yeah. Before he turns into a little [ __ ] Can't have that. Well, and yeah, you're allowed to be a little [ __ ] if you're a child who like doesn't know how to swim, but also we are a water family in a way that I'm like, I'm going to need you to come along on that journey with us. Yep. So, thank you for that reminder to send Nathan up for swimming classes so that he can learn along with Ava. You're
welcome. But it is sweet that Alex is teaching Ava. It is really nice and they're spending more like truly platonic time together where they're just actually getting to know each other. So Ava decides to throw him a surprise party for his birthday which seems like a big swing to me but go off. So um well and at this point has anything physical happened between them at all? Um there's been a couple of moments of like she's wound up on his lap.
They woke up in bed together, but like nothing like truly sexual has occurred. Okay. Um, so he loosens up as the party goes on and at the end of the night, um, he tells Ava that this was his first birthday party since his parents died. Um, and they have a really tender moment where he's like, "My family always made a big deal of it, but my uncle never did." Um, and like I didn't want him to cuz it just didn't feel right. So, like this was a big deal for him in a way
that she didn't understand. Um, and well, I'm glad she took the big swing, Hannah. Me, too, because they finally kiss finally. Um, so then he she kisses him, but immediately he's pulling her hair and pushing her into the counter. Um, and then cuz he's a man of certain sexual interest. And then immediate he immediately he's like, "This could never happen again. you need to let go of your little fantasies that I'm a hero will never work. And Ava what is really embarrassed about
this. And so um he's like I'm just trying to save you from me like you like whatever. And she thanks but doesn't say out loud I don't want to be saved. Like okay. So again more days go by. Alex is really agitated. He hasn't heard from Ava, obviously, because he was a douche. Um, and she skipped their swim lessons. Um, so he shows up at the gallery where she
works. So, she also works part-time in a photo gallery just for extra money because while her dad is paying for her tuition, he will not pay for anything related to actual photography because he thinks it's a waste. Um, but he didn't say he wouldn't pay for school. you know, or anything. We respect that he's still paid for the degree. Yeah, we can. So, she works part time at a gallery to support her photography. So, um is like she's been ghosting her swim
lessons. And it's like, yeah, yeah, because she threw you a birthday party and you told her to let go of her childish fantasies about you. Yeah, you were really mean. Like, pick a lane, bro. So, he shows up at the gallery with a brand new iPhone and he's like, "Since I haven't heard from you in 5 days, yours must be broken." And she's like, "Alex, did you just miss me?" Like, and so she immediately starts like teasing him and [ __ ] Um, she's like, "Alex, you don't
you didn't have to get a gift. You could have just stopped by and said hi, right? You didn't have to be weird about it. It's okay. We live next door to each other." So, um, Ava at this point like pulls back from teasing him and is like, "Listen, let's go ahead and set some boundaries cuz clearly like lines are being crossed that don't need to be crossed. So, I will find a different swim instructor." Like, you know, um, we'll just spend less time together. And
Alex flips out. He's like, "You asked me. I always follow through on my commitments, like whatever." Um, and he's like, "You can't have both, man." Right? And then he's like, "No one's going to take what's mine." And she's like, "What the [ __ ] are you talking about? What is happening right now?" And so then her boss comes over because Alex is getting loud. Like he's getting angry. And so the boss comes over and she's like, "I swear to God if you make me lose my job." And he's like, "What's
the most expensive painting in here? Do you get commission?" And he spends $40,000. And he's like, "For no reason." And he's like, "We're really going to learn to swim now. I'll see you at the pool tomorrow. And like what? Oh, Alex. So, he takes her to a hotel pool. She does pretty well until she doesn't like she's she gets in the water, but like when she puts her face in the water, she starts to panic. And so, she blacks out and Alex like gets her out of the pool and she kind of comes to in his
arms. Um, and he's telling her that she's safe. um that they'll try again another day, that she did a great job, that she's going to be okay. Um and then for some reason, Ava at this point asks him to kiss her. Um and she's like, "I know what you're into." And she like starts naming off all the things that Meline said. And she's like, "Maybe I'm into that, too." And it's like, "What? I thought we were having a flashback. Now we're getting it. So, it's fine. It's fine. Everything's fine.
It's okay. It's all okay. It's self soothing. Or Well, it's not really self soothing, is it? Well, maybe. Depends on your definition of self soothing. Depends on your definition of self, I guess. So, Alex hauls her up to a room in the hotel um and tells her to get on her knees. Um, he just had a room in No, he like went to the desk and is like, "Give me your best room or whatever." Hauls her up there because I'm so rich. I want the best room for this 2hour romp. You know,
this gorgeous Ukrainian face. I forgot to mention he's Ukrainian. It's not really relevant, but his uncle is like first generation. So, but anyway, so lots of face [ __ ] He comes all over her face. Um, and then he eats her out from behind, starts calling her a little [ __ ] and then he bangs her, and then he's like, "I can't see her face as she's coming. Unacceptable." And flips her over. Um, and it was just Meline. Yes. And then he kisses her, so it
really was just Meline. Um, and so then, um, Alex realizes that he is [ __ ] cuz she's like, "You broke the rules." And he's like, "The rules don't apply to you." Like, okay. Oh, Alex. So, they [ __ ] all weekend. Um, they agree to be exclusive and agree that they are going to tell her brother in person when he comes home for Christmas. So, at this point, it's nearing Thanksgiving. Okay. Thank you. You knew that. You knew that was a coming question. I did know that. Um, so um
I mean that's a bit of time. A lot can happen between before Thanksgiving and a Christmas visit. And they also don't want to be shitty and like tell him while he's in another country. Like they they it's a face to face conversation, but they are also a little bit putting it off cuz they know he's going to be pissed. So again, days later, Ava goes over to her dad's house cuz it's his birthday. She takes him a cake and they
just eat in awkward silence. And she realizes that like they have nothing to talk about without her brother there. Like this is the first time they've been oneon-one that she can really remember. And she's like, "Oh, this is brutal actually. Like this really sucks." Um, and she's like, "I kind of feel like he hates me." Like I know he doesn't, but like it's just weird, you know? So, um, then there's kind of a montage of Alex and Ava dating. They go to the fall
festival. They're banging in bathrooms, you know, as you do. Um, young love. And we come to Thanksgiving. They go to her dad's for Thanksgiving. They're keeping their relationship a secret from dad as well. Mhm. Um, and Ava wakes from a nightmare. She hasn't really had them since she's been um sleeping with Alex. Um but she has a nightmare and she goes out to the lake behind the house like kind of in the middle of the night um and or at like 3:00 in the morning or whatever. Call
that the middle of the night. Yeah. Oh no, actually it's 4:44. That's like a recurring thing. It's 4:44 that she wakes up most nights. So her dad finds her out at the lake and she starts to panic and um Ava like fully freaks out when her dad like is like, "Ava, like why are you out here? Like are you okay? What's going on?" Mhm. So Ava recovered her memories apparently. Like as she was standing out there for like 2 hours in the cold, she
recovered her memories. And so, so her they stayed in the the house like is it is it the same body of water? I'm interpreting that correctly. Yeah, I think so. So, it was a little bit confusing cuz it was like we were at the lake house and then it was like we were at the house. So, I don't know if they had a house that was on a lake and also had a lakehouse or if you're my parents, you have a lake house and then you just
move into it full time, right? And then and then I'm like, well, it is a lakehouse but now it's just the house. You just live 45 minutes from the nearest grocery store, right? Yeah. It is also a lakehouse, but also kind of an inconveniently placed house house. House house. Yeah. So, I don't know. But regardless, okay. Um, she gets home with Alex and she's like, "Listen, I recovered my memories. Um, it wasn't my mom that pushed me in the lake when I was five.
It was my dad." Right? So Ava decides to confront her dad in Alex's office. So several days go by and Alex puts together like a whole thing so that Ava can be safe when she brings this up with her dad. Mhm. So her dad initially is like, "Sweetheart, no. Like of course I wouldn't. Like you must be misremembering that, sweetheart. I love you." Right. Like he's whatever. Um and then Alex is like
I have evidence. And what? Yeah, apparently he has evidence of her dad running a paternity test on both her and her brother and finding out that Ava was not his biological daughter. And so that's what triggered the divorce proceedings. And so he's like, "No, I have evidence that like you knew Ava was never yours, like blah blah blah blah blah." And there's like some other stuff he has. Is Ava learning this in real time? Yeah. So, Alex didn't tell her that. Her dad
said it. Alex didn't out him like that. Um, but she is learning all of this. I think Alex probably had a plan to tell her a little more gently later. Um, but her brother is their father's biological son. Okay. So, the dad essentially um uh confesses to everything. Um, it's just him and Ava. Alex left the room. Um, and he's like, "Yeah, I wanted to punish your mother for cheating on me. This was seemed like the best way to do it. I didn't want to raise like some
other man's child anyway." Um, a literal human, but okay. Yeah. And also, he's just a terrible person. And he also confesses that he tried to kill her a second time when she was nine. Like tried to smother her and her brother came home from school early. And so he smothered her pretty significantly to the point where when she came too, she did not remember anything before the age of nine. So that's why she lost her memory was because her dad tried to kill her a second time.
So Alex also has evidence that he'd been committing fraud through his business for quite some time and he had the FBI there listening in. And also Josh is there. So that's part of why it took so long to like have this confrontation. They were getting the feds and they also had Josh come back from South America. And so then Josh punches his dad in the face. So Ava confesses that she has feelings for Alex. Um wait wait wait. It it's it's so disjointed and I really
do think it reads that way. Like I don't think it's just my notes. Like I thought maybe it was my notes. Well, I'm like so Josh, you saw your dad try to kill your sister or he just interrupted and she was passed out. She just happened to come home and was like, "Hey, Dad, I'm home." or whatever. Or he was mid strangle. Yeah. Or mid smother, whatever. Um, so sorry. No, no, that's okay cuz it is it felt confusing to read. Um, so she tells Alex that she loves him and he responds, "You are the
light to my dark." But he does not like reciprocate the love. So, Alex, we cut to him. He's getting closer to vengeance for his family. Um, when he discovers that his uncle that raised him also betrayed him. I don't remember how. It's some kind of thing with the business they run. Ava's waiting for Alex at a restaurant and he is super late. We're talking like an hour and a half late to the point where I'm like that's how you can tell that she is 22 because I'd have done been
gone. I was going to say what's your time limit before you're out. Well, I feel like probably half an hour if I haven't heard from you. Half an hour. Yeah. If I if I pushing it, right? If I hear from you and you're like, "Oh my god, there was an accident. It's taking me a while. I'm still on my way. I'll get there. Then I'll wait. But like, and I feel like I'm only giving you a half hour because my outreaches probably didn't start until 5 to 10
after, right? So, if I if I reach out at the 10-minute mark, that's a whole 20 minutes to wait for a response. And if I haven't heard from you, I'm not staying. Certainly not staying for an hour and a half. Definitely not. So, he is immediately a douchebag. Um when he gets there. Yeah. And um then he explains that his phone died and he couldn't call and he's sorry. He's just had a really tough day. His meeting went long. His
phone died. Whatever. Blah blah blah. I hate it when my meeting goes long and my phone dies. It absolutely gives me an excuse to be an [ __ ] to my husband. Yeah, you get it. Yeah. So Ava um like they actually wind up having a really nice time. Ava got a photography fellowship in New York. Um, and Alex is like, "Oh, well, I'll go with you. Like, we have an office in New York. I'll just start working out of the New York
office. Like, this is great." Um, and things are good until his phone goes off and she's like, "I thought you said your phone was was dead." And um, I mean, he could have charged it, but it seemed He's like, "Oh, I charged it in the car." And she's like, "So, you couldn't plug it in in the car and then call me to tell me you were on the way? or text me back to say you were on the way. Like, why were you really late? And he refuses
to answer her. Um, and then he's like, um, I'm trying to make sure you have plausible deniability, which is super weird, but okay. Um, so she leaves really mad. Al, so she just leaves. Yeah. She's like, "Yeah, I'm not doing this with you. Like, this is actually horshit. Um, I was supposed to be celebrating that I got this incredible fellowship opportunity that I've been dreaming about. Like, I'm not doing this with you. Um, and Alex finally Sorry, I go
ahead. Go ahead. Did they tell Josh about them when he was there to take down their dad? You know, I don't remember. Okay. I don't think so. Um, I don't think so. They're like, "No, we should still sit on this." Yeah, let's hold it. So, um, Alex, um, a little bit later finally has confirmation that it was actually his uncle that killed his family. Um, and plot twist, the whole time he thought that it was Ava's dad who had killed his family cuz apparently they were in both in construction or
something. So that's why he befriended Josh in the first place. That's why he got himself invited over to their house for Thanksgiving and [ __ ] was all because he believed that their dad killed his family and he was getting his revenge on him. But it wasn't their dad, it was his uncle. The [ __ ] you doing? Yeah, right. So Ava um confronts Alex about him acting weird. She's like, "You're being really weird. like every time I try to talk to you,
it's really bizarre. Um, and at this point, Alex is working out getting his uncle out of their family business and taking it back over. Um, the uncle finds out that he's been dating Ava, so he's all worried about the uncle like going after Ava or something. It's all very convoluted. He lies to Ava and says he's just been stressed about transitioning to CEO and everything. And she's like, "Well, why didn't you tell me that you were CEO? Like, it's been like a week of you being really
weird. Like, I I could have supported you." And he's like, "I didn't want to worry you. It wasn't official. Like, super wishy-washy." Ava out here being the most levelheaded person in this book. For real. For real. Ava does not deserve Alex [ __ ] Which is why it's incrementally different from the books I have spiritually read previous to this. Yes. Cuz usually the girl is like, "Babe, come on." Like, you know, that's just
him. I love all the pieces, right? And there's some of that, but it's much more like she's 22 and less like, oh my god, she's an idiot. Like, it hurts. It hurts me. So, it's been weeks. Um, and Alex's uncle calls him and is like, "Come over to the house. I have something to show you." Or something. His uncle has kidnapped Ava. And one of Ava's friends. Alex does a villain speech cuz he's trying to like like buy time because there's somebody with
like a knife to Ava's neck. And the uncle is sitting there being a weird overlord person. And so he's like, "I never loved Ava. Her brother was leaving the country and I needed I still needed to be close to the family. I had to find a way. Like she bought it hook, line, and sinker and like all of this [ __ ] right?" Um and so ultimately he winds up killing his uncle. Um, and the guy that kidnapped Ava and her friend, he like goes bonkers. So, the cops show up cuz they touched
what was his? You get it? So, the cops show up and Ava is in a days. She confronts Alex like, "Was what you said true? Like, this has been a lot today if I'm honest and so just want to confirm like, is this what you really meant?" And he's like, "I warned you, sweetheart. like you should have let go of your fantasies, but you threw yourself at me over and over again. You made it too easy. Like all that kind of [ __ ]
So she's like, "Okay." And turns around and gets into another one of the friends showed up with a ride. She like just gets into the car. She's like, "Okie dokie." And has like no response until they are like significantly away and then she has a complete breakdown. And it turns out the cops weren't real that showed up. They were Alex's staff and he just burns the house down. Took care of that real quick. Capital our revenge, baby. Uh-huh. So, um, he's super distraught that Ava hates him, but
he's like, "This is for the best." Um, and so then Josh shows up later, like a couple of weeks later, um, and beats the [ __ ] out of Alex and he just like takes it. This is what I deserve. He's living in the self-loathing. Yes. It's 2 months later. Ava's hella depressed. Yeah, Ava's super depressed, but she decides that she's going to go swimming. Like, Alex is not going to take this from her. She's going to make it happen. And I'm assuming that Josh showed up to beat up
Alex on Ava's behalf. She told him. Mhm. Okay. So, their friendship is now over. Yep. Yep. He's like, "I would have forgiven you if you just came after me. Why'd you pull Ava into it?" Like, it's all that stuff. So, then it's 2 and 1/2 months later. So, it's been 4 and 1/2 months. One of Ava's friends shows up to confront Alex. Mhm. He's dayd drinking in his office and generally not thriving. Like he's not doing okay. So
the friend is like, "Ava's not okay." Um and she is moving to London today in an hour. Get to the airport. So she's like, "I know your feelings were true." Okay. This wasn't Jules. This was a different friend. Yeah, cuz Jules knows better. Jules would never So, Alex tries to get there in time. Um, like buys a ticket on his way to the airport so he can get through security, races to the gate, she's gone. Um, Ava switched her photography fellowship from
New York to London. So, she moved to London and she is living her best life. Alex shows up and says that he'd had someone following her to keep her safe. Um, but he was keep taking over now. He's here now. [ __ ] hell. She shuts him down. She's like, "I don't know why you're here. This is really [ __ ] stupid." And he's like, "I'm not giving up." Four weeks he follows her and she does not speak to him. But he waits outside of her flat every day and walks her to
class. Waits outside her class every day and walks her home every single day. Um, and he's sending her a bunch of gifts, blah blah blah blah blah. Does she have friends? Does she go out outside of this? Can she does like go to pubs and stuff and people are like, "Who is this fellow?" And she's like following you. Don't worry about it. Nobody don't worry about it. So, um he she confronts him. She's like, "Why are you doing this? Like, don't you
have a business to run? Like, why the [ __ ] are you here?" And he swears that he is never going to stop trying to win her back. He resigned as CEO to be with her in London. And Ava is unimpressed. Good. She remains unmoved. Good throughout that. I hope this book ends with them not together. Kind of. But a year later, Ava is moved. My notes say Ava is not moved. One year later, Ava is moved. Has he been following her? He's been
following her for a year. So, he's been spending time with her any way that he can. Whether it's walking her to and from class and stuff or she got like furniture delivered and he volunteered to put it together just so he could be in her presence. Like, he has been showing up every day with no expectation. So, this is her final art exhibition that's going on. And um he buys all of her photographs, right? He buys out her
whole collection. And then he gets on stage and I I didn't put it in my notes cuz it didn't feel relevant, but she's into karaoke and has tried to get him to sing with her repeatedly and he has said no because it's like too vulnerable and he would never. And so he serenates her. I imagined it akin to Shitz Creek when what's his doodle serenades David. I was thinking of 10 Things I Hate About You. Yes. Same energy, I think. Um, so she's into it. They wind up banging in the gallery.
It's the epilogue. It's Thanksgiving again. They're together and happy and they're having a good time in Vermont for vacation. I guess her brother still isn't really speaking to them. Like he was really really hurt by this whole thing and I think he had a lot of guilt over the dad thing obviously. Mhm. Um so they're happy together. They're both working and living their best lives and that's the end. Huh. Yeah. I liked the concept of the story because
it wasn't cookie cutter. Mhm. You know, there were I mean it was hella tropey, but it wasn't like fully cookie cutter in the storyline, but it also felt like because of that there wasn't enough like development of the character. Like their whole character was just that they had trauma. Like I didn't even get into his trauma. Like there's detailed descriptions of him witnessing his family get murdered. And it felt like that's what we were relying on for all
character development. And it just was not it was very like flat if that makes sense. Yeah. I also I don't know there's something about like I just don't believe it when someone's been a dick for that long that they're suddenly like I'm going to gravel without any expectation indefinitely. Like I mean at the end of the book after a full year he's like this was my my final push. I know you're moving again. Like if you tell me to leave you alone I'll leave you alone. Like I get it. I'll get the
message or whatever. But it was very half-hearted. It felt like he wouldn't have gotten the message. This man has chosen what he wanted to do at every point regardless of really how it impacted Ava. Correct. Yep. And like I just quite frankly, Alex, I don't believe you. Well, I think that that is one thing I did appreciate about this book was that we didn't we didn't get to see the year that he followed her, but there was a year where he was putting in the time.
And that feels like a commitment to change more so than in other books where it's like that first 4 week like thing or like 3 days or whatever and they're like, "You've changed." I'm like, "You got on a plane to London. You clearly love me." Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I will say committing. He took a European vacation. He did. Like, come on. Doing it for a full year. Yeah. But I'm like, I don't believe that that's what you do after
like the rest of this book. No part of that is congruent with your behavior anywhere else. I almost would have rather the all the betrayal and the intrigue and all that stuff. I almost prefer if that had been at the beginning of the book and like the year was him winning her back. Like I would have rather read that character development than this plot I think. Um but it I didn't hate it. Yeah, that's fair. You know, cookies. Is that our rating system? Yeah, it could be cookies. I was like
cameras. She's a photographer. But cookies. Cookies is good. She made a lot of cookies for him. She did make a lot of cookies. She gave her a cookie to him. Yeah, she did. More than once. a lot of times and in kind of shockingly public places sometimes. Okay. Which, no judgment if you're into that. A baker's dozen. A baker's dozen. Yes. Okay. So, out of 13 cookies, I would give it a a seven. Yeah. Like a little more than half. Yeah. A seven. cuz the plot was
interesting. Mhm. The characters were not like I liked Ava, but there wasn't anything really like stand out special about her. Yeah. You know, I feel like this is a book that like you read and then because you spiritually read so many others like it, you're like, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I I remember that one now." like, "Oh, that one with the dad who betrayed them." Yeah. Yeah. Like, it doesn't stand out, but it's fine. Um, and a lot of the book was also devoted to setting up the
sequels, which I did not address. Um, cuz we would have been here for 7 hours. So, you know, I I kept it to two. So, you're welcome. I don't actually know how long we've been here. Me either. Okay. Seven out of seven out of 13. Final offer. Yep. Let us know how many cookies you would rate this. Let us know what flavor those cookies are. I'm curious. Red velvet is from the book. Garlic is also from the book. So, choose your own adventure. I'm going to choose red velvet if it's
between the two. Same. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Let us know how many cookies you would rate it, what flavor those cookies are. Don't forget to like, subscribe. Please let us know what books you'd like us to review in the future. and we'll see you next time. Bye, smudsluts. Bye, smart puppies. Well, that's it for this week, smud [ __ ] We hope it was good for you, cuz it sure was great for us.
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