well hello All You Beautiful [Music] People you know what time it is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and everyone in between gather around get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on cuz it's time for smut Club here's your hosts Chelsea and [Applause] [Music] Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and this is the podcast where we are two therapists who review books what last episode we're literally like we've really nailed our elevator pitch
on this show and I feel like the look in your eyes is like is this right yeah um yeah so this is smut Club yeah we are two licensed mental health therapists Y and we like to Day drink and review trashy romance novels sometimes I was going to say sometimes classy really rarely classy usually trashy yeah usually trashy yeah and Welcome to our very special Thanksgiving episode woo woo I think this is uh not that really anything as special about it outside of the way the
calendar fell where it's just like actually being released on Thanksgiving Day right unless I looked at the calendar wrong and it's not being released which is possible but enjoy your either soon to be or I hope you enjoyed your reing Thanksgiving holiday or if it is Thanksgiving enjoy your Thanksgiving lot to be grateful for folks so much including today's book well do we have that to be great for what's it called Hannah it's called Full sack which okay I'm going to deeply regret this
question and it might be addressed within the book at some point so when we were talking about books for Thanksgiving and we landed on full sack uhhuh I was like yeah that seems like a Thanksgiving like name and now I'm like is it it feels more like a Santa like a the the gift sack you know right right right um no no what to all of it because I had the same thought after I outlined it but it's definitely a Thanksgiving book um and that it takes place on Thanksgiving so
so why is it called Full Sac oh honey okay I'm just going to save my questions until we get further into full sack by Leila Fay that's not real it's not but I like it Leila Fay it rolls off the tongue very nicely it feels like a um a very Southern first yes it's like le la F something LE Smith name right but it's not and say is spelled f AE oh yeah that makes it feel even less real correct and Leila is spelled like Eric Clapton would spell it the traditional way yeah mhhh
yeah we work in mental health and have worked with lots of clients with varying names over the years but it is always funny when you're like trying to get someone's name and I remember I like said to a woman one time I was like yeah their name is Jordan spelled traditionally and there was like a long pause how else would you spell she was like could you spell that for me and in my head I'm like what is the non like maybe a y maybe I knew a guy whose dad was Donald and so his name was Jordon
like with an O instead but like that poor guy yeah and it was pronounced Jordon if you said Jordan his mom would get annoyed uh it was one of those situations but I'm like if you say Jordan the traditional way that's not one that I thought you'd be like oh there's a lot of options like the river Jordan like I don't know you're like like Michael yes you're like we there are only so many options for the normal spelling because it's just the normal spelling right yeah the traditionally
accepted spelling yeah like I I feel like if you say I uh my name is Ashley spelled traditionally right with an ey and not an EIG H or whatever yes yeah so I really thought it was the same but nope I still wonder when I'm like Jordan spelled traditionally long pause can you spell that for me I'm like what what is what was the option we were going to go with as our personal traditional way like we all have our own family tradition so if yours involves spelling a name differently no judgment no
judgment okay so leil la Fay yeah the very real human has written in a Thanksgiving smut book called Full sack and this is actually I discovered the sixth in the series they're all Standalone but they're all holiday books are they all the same like are they all Thanksgiving or we choose a different I think it's different holidays I didn't read any of the other ones [Music] um one was enough for me personally um and isn't it great when you can read one book by an author go I know everything I
need to know yeah how efficient of me well recently this is so ridiculous I started a series that was like 28 books long okay and I was like this will be good was a motorcycle club it wasn't I was like this will be a good like I can put it down and pick it up whatever kind of palette cleanser I figured I'm ashamed to admit I've read 15 of them and was like I hate these and I was like yeah no I I hate them a lot which book did you start to feel the hate I think like pretty early
but I kept hoping that like because each one followed a different couple and like there were a few of them that I did en right and so I was like okay so maybe the next one will be like this earlier one or whatever and then I was just like at one point I was like oh my God this is awful I'm so done I was reading a series years ago it had like eight total and I think I made it to like halfway through the fourth or something and I was literally just like I I can't do
this anymore yeah like we we've really tried mhm and you know know for all of those people much like my best friend's husband who told me you just need to get through the first however many seasons of Lost before it gets good and like things like that actually I feel like that wasn't the situation with lost I feel like lost started strong and then really fell off yeah um but then I feel like they're like it got bad but if you stuck out for a couple Seasons then it
got better and I'm like I am my heart I'm going to say I'm not the person to stick something out for several seasons on the off chance it'll get better but I do read several series on the it'll get better it will get better right yeah but yeah at some point I'm like it hasn't yet and I'm unwilling to commit to the rest of the journey for it to get there right and but you know cherry-picking this book because it happened to be a Thanksgiving book and reading it was enough for me to say you
know the rest of the series probably isn't for me I don't need to go back and read the others so yeah getting into it tell us more we open with Jennifer um who is our main chick and she is in the super gross dark alley and she's really nervous she's in like her skimpiest dress and her highest heels and she is going up to a door that has a raccoon painted on it and she is just continuously thinking how desperate she is to save her cat who is named Mr pointy and he's three and he's very sick and
all the vets that he she has taken him to they've all told her like he he's not going to make it like if we were in nature this wouldn't even be a conversation yeah it was like oh he's got like maybe a cool six months like enjoy that time like there's nothing we can do and she there is this being who is called raccoon um that supposedly um can do anything um and like provide anything can like make dreams come true so there's essentially a magic Genie named raccoon correct and um it it keeps
alluding to like she knows the price she understands the price and she's willing to pay it but we don't know what the price is yet we just know that she is desperate and she is willing because she wants to save her cat um and so um she do you have a cuz you and I both big pet people and all of all of your pets have extra medical needs they do most of them yeah yeah I guess not are do any not is Georgie uh so Georgie has some messed up ears okay um because he was out for so
long but that's probably going to get better and he'll be fine okay but then we have our fat cats that most people forget that we have Annie and Lizzy who are fine they're just fat I absolutely forgot about Annie and Lizzy I know everybody does because we don't talk about them because they're just living their best life yeah and all of your your other pets do require a little bit more they do energy and attention mhm so is there a numeric threshold where it's if if what they need is over blank
amount like that's the monetary limit you know I don't know I I think it's more like if they're going to be in pain that's so I can keep them around yeah I'm not I don't I'm not going to do that um cuz like that happened with my pit bull who was 14 and they were like we probably could maybe do something she might live an extra year whatever and I was like no I'm not going to put my 14-year-old dog through that yeah like no no and it wasn't about the money it was about like her
1,000% I remember like we had some family friends and their cat got ran over oh and the vet was like we can perform this surgery it's not like that it'll work it'll be five grand if they live or die and they were like no problem and like the cat died like 5 minutes into the surgery oh and I was like I if those are the odds I'm probably not spending five grand right unless I suddenly enter a different tax bracket that I don't foresee happening in my like near future right right but
yeah I just find that to be a very fascinating conversation with like how different people approach it because I'm like I think I used to have like a far lower number and then I like married my husband and he's like my credit card has a very high limit 100% yeah and I'm like you know touche but to your point it's really come coming down to like the quality of life absolutely yeah yes and Jennifer wants her cat to have a great quality of life yep and knows the price
she's willing to pay yep which I already have a feeling might be different than the price I'm willing to pay yep but we'll find out so she enters the door that has the raccoon on it and she sees this super hot guy with like these weird yellow eyes in the room um and her cat who is generally pretty standoffish like immediately loves him like she lets him out of the carer I guess it makes sense that she had the cat with her but also you she's wearing her like fancy dress
and her highest heels in this alley with her cat yeah okay I left that out she has the cat um cuz initially when she says like I need your help with my my cat he's like the guy's like no I don't do resurrections and she's like no he's alive and he's like oh people never bring me live animals this is great and so she like lets the cat out and immediately he's like Twining around raccoon who is the name of the guy mhm Twining around his legs and like all up on him is our main love interest named
raccoon 100% yeah God damn sure is okay and so um he agrees to help her um but then he like approaches her and she's like trying to build up the nerve for the price which it turns out is a [ __ ] and it's like well known he'll give you whatever you want for a [ __ ] and and so he's like when's the last time you sucked off a stranger like come in here in your your [ __ ] outfit whatever um so we're just going into the weird aggressive dirty talk off the rip yeah okay yeah
also my vet has several doctors at the practice are you ranking who you would blow in your mind right now no I was honestly thinking I haven't met them all so I can't make a fully informed like into decision here but I will say depending on like what my cat's Health needs are a [ __ ] actually I've heard worse prices tongue to tip for 500 so call back to previous episodes for those of you who've stuck around and the incredible show I'm sorry featuring Andre Savage and Tom ever
Scott a bit of trivia for you yes um so he is like she's starting to freak out like he's cornered her against a wall and she's like I know I have to do this I'm willing to do this but she is clearly very uncomfortable do we know how old she is in her early 20s I think she's like 22 listen we just reviewed an entire book where that the girl was like 18 and every decision she made made was that of an 18-year-old girl so I just wanted to know if This Woman's brain was fully
developed not quite but more so but closer yeah okay so he tells her like listen this is not the place for a blushing virgin I don't know what you think you're doing here um and while the usual price is a [ __ ] it's different for pets and she's like what like well I take back my statement about my vet's office pets are different and he's like so what you're going to do is take me to your family Thanksgiving because all of this is taking place on Thanksgiving day because he only makes deals on
holidays I don't know and there are a lot of arbitrary rules it feels like in this are all of the original books in this series all about raccoon I don't think so holiday escapades it seemed like they were about different creatures I don't know fair enough you know what I don't have questions it's fine we can practice acceptance that we're never going to know because we're never going to read the other books well maybe I will I shouldn't say never um so um she wasn't planning to go to her
family Thanksgiving she does not get along with them they're all [ __ ] nuts and she has no desire to spend the day with them um and uh uh she's like fine like if that's what I have to do for my cat then that's what I'll do but like I need to go home and change like can't show up to family Thanksgiving looking like this yeah um and he is like no you wore this to see me why can't we wear it to see your family you innocent little [ __ ] and there's lots of like
things like that in here where he calls her Like a Virgin [ __ ] and it's like what are you saying like the Madonna [ __ ] complex is supposed to be two separate people like not the same one you know you've misunderstood right but that's like throughout the whole thing he's doing that um but she's super into it like she clearly has like a little bit of a degradation Kink that she wasn't even aware of until he started speaking to her that way um does she put the words degre
to it at any point or is that you no that's me okay making assumptions I would have just loved if she was like wow I wasn't aware that I was fully into degradation until this moment I've learned something about myself so there is this video of this huge like bouncer guy picking up a smaller guy in a bar who is being like super inappropriate and just carrying him out and one of the the comments on the video was that man could disrespect me and somebody said tell me you have a degradation Kink
without telling me you have a degradation Kink and I think about that regularly that man could disrespect me I mean I do feel like if that's what you're just like openly commenting on things you're like you you know yourself I hope you do if not you going to learn sharing it on the open interwebs cuz someone going to go don't tap me with a good time and then you're going to go whoa that is not what I thought was going to happen and you're like you literally put disrespect me or
that man can disrespect me right like okay so he's like no why can't you show up to your family's Thanksgiving looking like my little virgin [ __ ] right okay and then demands that she get on his motorcycle and for some reason this is the point where she's like oh no I can't get on your motorcycle I'll find another way to save my cat and he's like get on the [ __ ] motorcycle really that's the Jailbreaker here he's like okay so he like straps the cat down and is like I promise the
cat's going to be fine he's like curled up snoozing in his little carrier he's like he's going to be fine I promise I wouldn't do anything to like put Mr pointy in danger okay um so she tells him that he has to swear on his balls that the cat's going to be okay and he's like you better feel to make sure they're there otherwise is it even really a swear and so she straight up grabs his balls and like my notes say something moves in his pants which freaks her out unclear if this is a
usual growing situation or tentacles that's what my not say he's a raccoon why does he have tentacles I don't know wait Hannah are tentacles going to show up at some point no this was 100% she like grabs his crotch and she's like something moved in there and I'm like like a regular something like it's like it's getting hard or like is something happening yeah you're like like you just like didn't pay attention in middle school health class right or like something like there's a curse happening
in there there's some other kind of anatomical situation that we should be aware of um that's I don't know that's the first place my notes went to which means my brain went there but anyway I like that you said notes initially I don't know Chelsea it's just the first place my notes went the notes you wrote you're like damn it and here okay this is a direct quote watching him on the motorcycle makes her V vagina salivate no no thank you yeah how no yeah yeah this was the point where I almost
texted you to be like oh like oh my God yeah okay so that's happening and um she is continuously reminding herself that um he's a Manor like he she's like I don't care if he makes my vagina salivate he makes everybody's vagina salivate right he gets [ __ ] from like anybody no he only gets [ __ ] on federal holidays there aren't a ton banking holidays like I don't think he's out there making deals on National dut day you know what I mean I didn't get that far in the series
to know um so um and she's also like I would have had to get my throat checked for an STI if I'd had to give him a [ __ ] and like you like weird things like that um I'm like okay so we're now worried about Conor of the throat all right um it's like it seems like she's annoyed that she has to go to her family Thanksgiving instead of giving him a [ __ ] so now she's calling out things like and he's such a Manor we wouldn't even be in this situation if I could have just blown him
in private but now we have to go to my family holiday yeah and you're like and she's like why am I so turned on by this m like okay um so initially on the motorcycle she's like freaking out about the whole thing but then she like really enjoys the vibration um and also while you haven't explicitly said this some part of this that I'm just telling you that I'm filling in is I know Jennifer was like the number one name of like the late 7s early 80s and so when we were saying she's in her
early 20s I'm fully imagining that this is like 2004 I know so many Jennifers like a ridiculous amount of Jennifers a ridiculous amount I mean my sister-in-law is a Jennifer I know so many Jennifers see yeah I know a lot of Jennifers and so I was like like trying to not Envision them as you're reading it cuz there are sometimes where you like read a book and you're like they have the same name as this one person I know and this main character is a badass way to represent
and then there are some books that you're like why would you do this to all the Jennifers of the world right like a Jennifer Jennifer I was rooting for you we were all rooting for you you get it um yeah so so she's super into the ride the ride right yes and they get to her parents house he pulls up in parks and he says um that she needs to kiss him because he is going to pretend to be her boyfriend and that's like the excuse for why he's there we still don't understand like why
are we having Thanksgiving dinner instead of a [ __ ] like I don't like why are we doing that but that's what he wants and so Jennifer doesn't get it either and so she's just going with it I'm going to pretend to be your boyfriend to explain why we're at this family holiday that your family's not even expecting you to be at right right so she's like I'm not kissing you and he like pulls her into him and pulls her dress down because her ass is fully hanging out cuz she was
wearing this like super tight clubbing dress on the back of a motorcycle and so it rode up and um so she she says I can't believe my cat trusts you and he says what can I say I'm a [ __ ] charmer of course he does so obviously the story is going to continue to develop yeah it sure is I just can't imagine this relationship lasting well so the thing is that she finds all of this endearing like he's funny and like cute for her this situation oh that's how she's
experiencing it we are experiencing it differently very differently very differently yeah um but you know good for you Jennifer someone for everyone 100% yeah and part of it not for me me either um but she realizes like hold on a second I'm never going to see this man again like once we have this Thanksgiving together I never have to see him or be embarrassed by my family's Behavior or anything ever again so I'm just going to roll with it and have fun like because she talks about in her
previous relationships her family has always scared off like previous boyfriends because they're so [ __ ] out of pocket um so well he all raccoon uh raccoon also seems to be a bit out of pocket uh yeah mhm a little bit Yeah so so she's like calling her family's Bluff and bringing someone who's even more out of pocket yes how can we one up the out of pocket this how can we find larger Pockets I was honestly just thinking more of how like girls are always excited to have pockets I
know yeah pockets are pretty awesome yeah and if I could have jeno jeans siiz pocket that is not a jeno jeans siiz pants in reality yeah H saw someone was complaining about a brand recently and they're like if you're wearing these pants I'm automatically not into you and I like hadn't heard of the brand and when I looked them up I was like oh that's the new jeno got it ah got it cool cool cool cool cool this feels great and jenos came back of course they did I'm like
just make sure you hem them before it gets rainy that was always a thing though like to have them frayed in the back and like whatever yeah it was always a balance of like having them look cool and frayed but also not long enough that if you were you were wet to your knees yeah you were wet to your knees or like you like would just trip on them like you like couldn't walk in them right yeah I remember a lot of extra fabric I remember my mom always like cuffing like
the neighbor Hood kids pants when they'd be over and I'm like you're probably ruining like in retrospect I'm like you're probably ruining the aesthetic that they think they're going for but you're just out there going you literally keep tripping just let me help you you don't look cool you keep tripping that's such a mom thing to do though and unfortunately it's absolutely something that I know I will do like I am I am that person we all know it like I don't want to be but it's always like
oh like I see that you have the let let me help you let me make this easier for you but I will ask for consent before I start cuffing people's jeans and then if they don't accept my help I'm going to laugh in their [ __ ] face when they fall down when they fall in their Jingo je hopefully they will go out of style by the time Ford has friends over like I mean we've got he's one and a half right now we have time at the time of recording his one and a half by the time this episode drops would be
probably just shy of his twoyear yeah if he's I don't know if they make baby jenos I hope not that sounds dangerous yeah he already struggles to walk as it is exactly he sometimes like you know how like toddlers would do like the Tippy Toe walk he walks like a normal ass kid with both feet on the ground and then sometimes he forgets and then he just like starts Tippy Toe walking but then like realizes he's like unstable and then he just looks more drunk and he
just like Falls across the room going between normal walking and Tippy Toe walking he's like a yeah and I'm like he I I swear he is absolutely sober looking at him I was like but I get why people say that toddlers are just tiny drunk humans cuz they are some messy [ __ ] yeah oh most of what they do is pretty out of pocket oh but it's so cute yeah but only because they're tiny humans when grown humans do that it's not cute that is also true as someone who's probably done a Tippy Toe
walk when I've been drunk not cute I've been cuter yeah not my best moments and yeah if I'm ranking them okay so he pulls her dress down y to make sure her butt is covered but and she's like I'm just going to accept and embrace this I don't have to see my family after this I don't have to see him after this it's just going to be me and my cat living in peace yep my healthy cat my healthy cat as long as we get through this dinner yep so her mom answers the door and is
really weird like Stepford wifey um and she tells her mom that raccoon's name is Howard because she realizes she can't be like this is raccoon because that's [ __ ] weird so she's like this is my boyfriend Howard and he is deeply offended by the name Howard um he's like do I look like a [ __ ] Howard seriously what his legal name raccoon uh no we find out eventually that it's Thornton but that is mentioned one time she never calls him that his first name is Thornton yes I went to elementary
school in middle school with a guy whose last name was thoron H it was like Jack thoron or something it was like a strong that's a good name it was yeah but I I feel like thoron is more of a last name to me yeah uh again it's like such a throwaway thing like she asks at one point like wait a minute is your real name raccoon and he's like it's Thornton like okay and that's it my bad raccoon um but anyway um she tells raccoon that her mom just ignores anything she
doesn't agree with so like don't be offended if she doesn't even acknowledge you like that's the level of like she ignores anything that doesn't fit for her that's an interesting sort of familial chaos yeah it gets worse um so they put the cat in the guest room and um she is like awkward around him like he's he's wanting to touch her and like get closer to her and she's like pulling away from him like what is happening like she's like you aren't actually my boyfriend right and she's
like I was willing to give you a [ __ ] when it was for my cat but like you like literally anybody can suck your dick like I I'm not into this right now like um and he's like oh well if that's the problem that's no issue like you are I I want you to be my monogamous girlfriend for real um and we'll definitely [ __ ] by the end of the day like no stress on that um wait what what no pause stop yeah we took a hard pivot hard pivot I wasn't ready hard pivot I still don't think I'm ready
so we've just fully left the a [ __ ] for your cat's life yeah to I don't want a [ __ ] I want to be your fake boyfriend at your family Thanksgiving uh to I want to be your real boyfriend yep and will [ __ ] by the end of the day where your whole family can hear you scream that was the end of the sentence Oh No thank you yeah yeah and I well you know that unfortunately not quite the same our favorite segue are you going to tell the story about I'm going to tell the Toy Story yeah you are yes
so earlier this year uh my husband and I and our son we decided we were going to go up and visit my parents who live on a lake um and so we were going to go spend the weekend on the lake with them for fourth not for 4th of July it was for Father's Day my sister and brother-in-law are also there for Father's Day weekend just felt important to know all of us are in this house the whole whole family is whole family is together for this and as I'm packing for this I see my vibrator as an
option of something I can pack and I go we're we're a young cool couple still we might have a son but we still get it in yeah I'm going to be a little edgy I'm going to be a little daring I'm going to pack my vibrator for the weekend family trip for Father's Day on the lake all well and good we go through the whole trip we all have a great time hanging out um at one point I had like when I was unpacking my suitcase I showed V I was like look what I brought hahaa and
like put it under the pillow didn't think anything of it moved on with my life moved on with my life to the point that we're an hour and a half into the drive home from my parents house and I look at van and I go did you happen to grab the vibrator and he goes from where and I was like oh [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] me this is not great oh no and I like I text Hannah yeah you did and I'm like Hannah we are like over an hour away from my parents house I just realize
that we like left the vibrator under the pillow there and now I don't know what to do and I like text my cousins as well we were like brainstorming like Okay so do you let them know it's there do we leave it as a surprise and I was like I don't really feel any need to draw attention to this they will find it at some point when the sheets are changed um I'm just going to move on with my life and move on with my day I order a replacement and move on so um several hours later we have
made it successfully back home it's like a 4 and a half so it's like the evening at this point and they apparently changed the sheets MH because my dad texts a photo he takes a and like text a photo of my vibrator captioned missing something with like a crying laughing emoji but the problem was my dad didn't check the text thread so he thought he was sending it to me my husband him and my mom just like the four of us but instead he sent it to me my husband him my mom and my mother-in
law I forgot about that I wish I could forget about it because my mother-in-law just like puts a question mark on the photo she's like why is my son's father-in-law texting me a picture of a fire it's like a closeup photo as well like and my dad just goes oops haha wrong thr and she just thumbs uped it and moved on with her day and we haven't spoken about it so I'm like I don't does she think we were all on the wrong thread does she know it was ours we have
not discussed it at all but I don't need to no but if ever you're having a bad day I just want you to stop and think well has my dad texted my motherin-law a photo of my vibrator today cuz if not I think that's a helpful refer and then your mom shipped it back to you with a greeting card God the greeting card was the best part my mom did mail it back with a like also just like she had like [ __ ] bubble wrap laying around their house like she like put it in protective layering um and
then the sent it with a card that had balloons on the front and said let's party and when you opened it it said woohoo so glad you can be reconnected with your special friend love you Mom and Dad yeah also when we were texting on the correct thread that did not have my mother-in-law on it my mom went yeah when I found it I just thought oh are they leaving me a tip no Mom Jesus WEP no Mom that is not at no point was I leaving you gift vibrator unpackaged under the pillow of your guest bed yeah
so that absolutely happened yeah it did feels like a fever dream at this point but like I when so my phone was having a hard time loading the text and so I didn't actually see the text from my Dad I just saw it said like a a text from Terry my mother-in-law and so I like open it and I just see a question mark but I don't know and I was like what would this question mark and I was like what would my dad be I was like surely how no this doesn't the math ain't mathing there's
no way that these would be connected I was like Vance I need your phone I need your phone right now I need your phone in this minute and his text had come through properly we have different providers and so uh I I don't think I caught my breath for a solid 20 like I was in tear is laughing on the floor like I could not get it together I could not like my abs hurt for the rest of the day after that I was like I okay yeah yeah so um well that's not exactly what raccoon is trying to accomplish here
like the I'll have you screaming so loud your family can hear it maybe you'll get a greeting card after Jennifer except your mom congratulations your mom doesn't acknowledge things that make her feel uncomfy yeah although I don't think my mom felt uncomfy I thought I think my mom thought this is a great opportunity to roast my daughter and she took it and she nailed it if I'm being honest yeah great work kudos to you kada very impressive okay so he's now like you're gonna be my girlfriend also
just so we know mhm how long is this book 10 50 something pages okay that tracks yeah it didn't feel like there was really enough time for this to be fully developed be fully baked we moving a swiftness yeah so they are like he has her against a wall um and her 16-year-old sister walks in dressed like a novice which is a nun in training she's wearing like a long brown skirt and like the the partial wimple or whatever I don't know what it's called um oh I I was about to say is it called
a wimple I've never heard that well like in a habit the head covering is a wimple I don't know if novices wear wimples I have never heard the word wimple before so I just learned that today and this is a great word to use we're saying the word wimple so many times it's a fun word to say it is also my mother's maiden name is Whipple huh like the don't squeeze the charman okay yeah and this is why she sends me greeting cards when I accidentally leave my no further explanation I think I
think we've all learned a lot about me today yeah we have more than we may have anticipated it's good okay so her sister shows up dressed like a nun in training and not I'm assuming not just dressed like one it's not like Halloween like she is a none in training if she was just dressed like one and wasn't one I would have more questions that would be weirder yeah so she's 16 and she calls them how old do you have to be you know I don't actually know um um but she
calls them [ __ ] Sinners and like storms out of the room I don't think that's a word nuns use and readily raccoon's like so uh you never told me your sister was so devout like what is happening right now you never told me did you know I had a sister raccoon in the hours we've known each other if that at this point [ __ ] what's my middle name what's my last name for that matter um so Jennifer explains that like her sister has converted to several religions through the years like every
time she sees her she's a new religion um and so like once she asked Jennifer's boyfriend for his blood and SN for a spell and the guy like ran from the house and like never returned um so that's like Jennifer's experience with her boyfriends like they just get freaked out by her family doing weird [ __ ] um like there's one about like her sister was on some kind of vegan thing and like was telling everybody about how meat is murder anytime they would eat she would like berate people for eating
animal products and all like her sister's just like a very unique individual someone who feels their feelings and feels them fully yes and expresses them LLY expresses them even more than she feels them yes yes um so they actually have she and raccoon actually have like a pretty good laugh about the whole thing um and she thinks that you know this is really nice um but also he's an insane person because he's like hey you're my girlfriend now like if that's what's holding you back
monogamous no problem and she's like what are you saying to me so question does he only Grant One Wish per holiday or does he any however many however many he can get in like a lot but there was something about her yep okay yep yep keep going so he like do you want to be that special or do you not want to be that special for him uh uh personally no thank you like I don't think I want to be that special to anyone that's a lot but like outside of my husband no thank you oh yeah
mhm okay yeah sorry keep going I just no it's okay I have some some thoughts on it some feelings on well and you're going to have more um because he he kisses her super passionately tells her to like grind down on his thigh and stuff and they are like super into it um and she realizes like she can't do this with him like she actually is a virgin he doesn't realize that he was kind of like mocking her with like being a virgin but she really is and she's not super experienced and she does not want
to be like Swept Away by this dude that she doesn't know that she doesn't really trust which also for giving her some credit I imagine that like if you are not very sexually experienced and you're about to give someone a blowj job who that is their primary source of payment I understand why she was feeling super stressed and anxious okay that is that is some helpful context right yeah um and so she like bites him to get him like off of her because she like kind of
realizes like oh my God like we're making out super hard and like I'm really turned on and like this is freaking me out and so she like bites his lip to get him to back off and he responds that like I knew it was you I'm a lucky man will make beautiful babies wait and she's like what what the [ __ ] are you saying to me and he just like leaves the room and she's like okay so she goes to the bathroom to like clean up her makeup and stuff and um she then starts to realize
like oh my God he's downstairs with my family by himself like oh [ __ ] and so she like Sprints down the stairs and um her aunt is just openly propositioning him like I know that my niece probably can't take care of you the way that I can like like openly like you could get it like in the living room um and where to shoot your shot I mean good for you I guess she's like in her 60s and like just doing what she wants do she also have a cat that needs saving apparently hey so
um and and like Jennifer is in his lap while this is happening like oh he like pulled her into his lap when she came down the stairs and the aunt is continuing to be like oh that is extra that's not how I thought that I thought like she like walked in the room and it was like happening like ended was like how I was filling in that narrative not a hey I'm clearly here with your niece and she's like but why be here with her when you could be here with me instead
exactly and you don't even need to be here with me I've just got some holes you might like right what a line I know it's so much I've got some holes for you so he shuts her down and is like you know I used to [ __ ] anything and I absolutely would have banged you um but I only have eyes for Jennifer now so have a great day and like leaves it that and it's like okay what huh so then so cuz she bit his lip then he's like I always knew it was you yeah and then he left and then and told
her they would make beautiful babies together and the babies right and then she's like I don't know what the [ __ ] is happening then goes downstairs and her aunt is propositioning him he pulls her onto his lap and is like I Only Have Eyes For This specimen in front of me right if only we had met hours ago I would have [ __ ] you but now that I've met your niece the answer is no like that's literally only we met on Thanksgiving Eve this could have been a whole different
situation yes you get it so um Jennifer's brother is in the room and he freaks out because raccoon is like I only have eyes for your niece and she's the only one I'll be [ __ ] so thank you so much and her brother is like I will [ __ ] fight you and raccoon's like okay kiddo like you're adorable and immediately just pins him and is like you are ruining your mother's perfectly lovely Thanksgiving I'm not going to be hearing any more from you today all I will be hearing from you is how can I
help when you ask your mother how you can support her you are a little [ __ ] and just like shuts him all down is he actually a little [ __ ] or is it yeah no like it does feel like a reasonable thing to be like hey I'm going to be protective of my sister but that's not the energy it's he's like he clearly has anger issues and there's like little stuff sprinkled in about his anger issues this is an ongoing thing like he regularly flies off the handle for little to no reason um okay so it's not
like nice chalous big brother moment it's not protective it's just okay I was misinterpreting that it's like an intermittent explosive disorder kind of moment more than anything um some impulse control issues happening there yeah okay so then raccoon tells Jennifer to go upstairs because he wants to base her turkey again direct quote so I mean one would have to hope if you were just casually put listen I know sometimes you get a couple drinks in when you're doing your outline
you Choose Your Own Adventure how you describe things and I could totally see being like it's a Thanksgiving book and T basted her turkey heo I do feel better that those are not the words you landed on yourself yeah my outlines are sometimes a journey in and of themselves um but this isn't that so I mean it is but in a different way so um I know his name is Patrick but at some point I just started writing out Big Daddy p and every like that's that takes longer it does it's
like it's like what was that one where like his name was Fallon and I called him Jimmy the whole time oh or like cinnabun whoever was yes it was the same book it was how to get drunk and save a demon or whatever or that time I got drunk and got drunk and saved a man I had a whole experience on that book go back and listen to that one if you have not it it's a journey That's a classic it is a classic yeah so she thinks that he's asking her to go upstairs like Jennifer thinks that
raccoon is asking her to go upstairs because he's going to be like hey so your family is [ __ ] banana pants and I'm out like did he already say the word space her her he did yeah but she based on her experience cuz that's always happened with all of her previous boyfriends as soon as they meet her family they're like out um and so um they get up to the room and he kind of looks at her for a second and he's like hey would you do you need to cry like that's okay cuz she's clearly really
upset and so he just holds her for a little bit um like a good five-hour boyfriend does yeah so thoughtful so she so mindful so demor all of these like what the [ __ ] does demure mean Tik toks are incredible by the way yeah it it was super funny because Vance was even he like I keep seeing the word demure everywhere and I was like let me show you the Tik Tok he's like oh this makes so much more sense now very deure very mindful very remember that how we showed up to
the interview is how we show up to the job so my friend is a high school teacher and she made a bulletin board about how do we act in the hallways very demure very mindful like she made up I love how quickly like this Tik Tok took off and like cuz I saw someone posted uh like it looked like it was more like Elementary age but like they had made classroom signs that were like talking about like sharpening your pencil before your before like subject very mindful it's the
best so okay so he's being very sweet and is actually he's like he's like do you need to cry because like this is a [ __ ] lot he's like you can cry like that'd be okay like like I get why you weren't going to invite me your long-term boyfriend to family Thanksgiving like I totally understand so um she I don't remember how exactly it comes about but she confirms that she is in fact a virgin and he's like hold up hold up hold up for real he's like you grab my dick and balls for
real he's like wow in retrospect there were some very charged moments for someone who's never had those experiences before yeah he's like oh okay damn so he then tells her that he is like they are genetically compatible and he is not human and I mean he does have yellow eyes so I feel like we can't we can't be that shocked here no I mean I feel like definitely the the groundwork has been laid keep going Hannah anyway for Hannah was just having some really great hand motions to really
uh show the groundwork being late my I needed my hands to help me find my words you get it I do unfortunately that is a very real thing um and he's like listen you are compatible I've been looking for you like and I want to like is this like a faded mates thing it seems that way but like not because it he doesn't say like you're my f you're the only one right but it's like I've been looking for a compatible human and it's you like I I finally found you um and so he tells her like I want to
tell you everything but I can't focus because I'm so turned on I'm having a really hard time explaining myself which feels like such a straight guideline like listen baby I know that we need to have this super deep emotional conversation but like I'm just so attracted to you in this moment I got to bang one out first until I come we will not be able to use full sentences so what you going to do about it so she offers to blow him she's like okay he's like I want to have this serious
conversation but my dick is just too hard for it and she's like no problem let me help allow me to meet that need that I thought I was going to have to meet anyway we literally could have started and ended at the [ __ ] and this book wouldn't have even happened we could have um so he says like yes and this is perfect because I'll show you how I essentially give people anything they want but the price is a [ __ ] I'll show you so what do you want like what what
do you need right now and she says a toaster I need a toaster and he's like perfect get on your knees okay go on so exact words are get on your knees and daddy will get you a new toaster so she okay is this Drew Cary on the prices right thank you for saying Drew Cary instead of Bob Barker because that feels Blasphemous somehow I couldn't do Bob like that we couldn't do Bob like that oh my God so okay I I won't have questions yeah hold your questions cuz it's going to
get worse so she blows him he tastes like apple cider and he tells her that he can change his taste depending on like what people are into um and so I like that you said apple cider and I heard you say apple cider vinegar no and I was like not the flavor I'm hoping for in that moment but also great for my long-term Health needs excellent for my microbiome but like not good for my taste buds I don't know why I did that voice sorry for my microbio you're like I can change the
Taste of my semen so I made it healthy for you you son of a [ __ ] it's like on Parks and wreck when Leslie is like they offered to put kale in my milkshake you guys my milkshake also thinking about parks and wreck when they like upped all of the sizes so like the small was like child SI child size was like over 500 o or something ridiculous like that's the child size the sugar problems with sedums yes okay so he has changed is it his seen is the is he changing the SE
flavor it's the the precom flavor like his flavor okay so it's not like he's changing the flavor of the whole ollipop no yes yeah just the Tootsie Roll filling yeah I hated that but I didn't really feel like I had better lollipop analogies well again hold it cuz it's going to get worse so as she is blowing him like he's starting to get to the point where he's about to come and he tells her to grab his balls and feel and she's like oh it's growing and is toaster about to pop out of his dick and
a toaster shoots out of his dick yeah 100% you no no Hannah yeah you take that back I can't because that's what Leila Fay wrote I understand why it works different for pets yeah so like he like pulls back from her and shoots a toaster onto the bed yeah it's teal apparently she's very into it yeah so she's super confused by the whole situation yep yep she is but he won't answer any of her questions and he's like no can't answer anything until you sit on my face and she's like what what's
going to come out of her just regular [ __ ] oh thank God no toasters were involved in the making of This orgasm I'm like you just heard a little chirp and a little so chick pops out like I'm Terri ified of what happens in this book now not relevant however there was there's this single that came out recently called my body is a dive bar and this the the refrain from that song that plays on my in my head on repeat like all the time is um if you ask for one I'll always
bring two because my face is a bar stool waiting for you and that's like such the energy here where he's like babe I get that we have a lot to talk about but like listen not quite the same but also reminds me and I think we've talked about this before of that rap song my cousin wrote and recorded that was like I only deal with nines and T unless she's a seven and bringing her friends which is honestly still such a good lie it really is actually yeah yeah okay so he's like sit on my
face yep and so she does she's nervous but she goes for it obviously um is that her first time yes okay yeah her first time giving a [ __ ] her first time receiving yeah so it's not just that she's like of a virgin as far as like actual penetration it's like the overall her sexual experiences as a whole right have been relatively limited up until now brand new yeah um and so um she has like an incredible orgasm and she was not quiet um he did want her to scream for her
family to hear and she does and um he's talking about how much he'd like to [ __ ] her and there's lots of dirty talk involved but then somebody screams downstairs oh and she's like oh [ __ ] and he he tells her before she like runs out of the room I'm keeping your panties don't flash anybody cuz she's wearing this like super short dress he's like I'm not giving these back good luck and like so they get downstairs and her cat has eaten the turkey and so her mom had
like screamed and is now like curled up in a ball on the floor crying and panicking because there's no turkey and so I how what like I understand understand that a cat is a carnivore and is going to be eating some meat and how much of the turkey cuz I can't imagine that a cat took down a whole family bird so she says like we can just cut around the part that he ate like it'll be okay like you know and her mom is like it's ruined like we can't okay yeah so the turkey does still exist we're just
catastrophizing right and Jennifer offers solution her mom is not receptive to that solution I offered solutions to my client in session yesterday and she didn't want any solution in 40 minutes in I was maybe like what do you want so I had somebody who was very upset with me a couple of weeks ago and she was ripping into me like as a person like going in and I was like okay okay so um I just want to be very clear about what your what your goals are for this conversation do you want me to respond
or are you just wanting to to vent your feelings because either one is okay I just want to make sure I'm meeting your needs here and she was like no this should be a conversation and I was like Okie [Laughter] doie okay well you clarified here we are yeah so buckle in buddy because you just called me a lot of names so anyway um so being a clinician is really like the best thing ever such a unique experience but there are those moments where you're like this is really
showing me my Humanity in a way I did not anticipate today yeah and you're like I might need to sit on this one a little bit much like Jennifer and raccoon here right but likey actually maybe not like them we get fired if it's like that yeah not in a professional setting yeah at any point just with our husband my joke went off the rails anyway hard left anyway so raccoon with our husband so raccoon is like we'll get another turkey no problem and and he's like just get on your knees for me yeah
drags Jennifer back upstairs and she blows him I was joking Hannah while touching herself I apologize that I keep ruining the plot twist in this book because I keep just making what I think are outlandish jokes and you go correct yeah so I deeply apologize cuz I'm not trying to steal your thunder in this every time I've guessed I've been like surely this is so ridiculous this isn't what's going to happen oh it it's what happens all right so yeah she blows him while she's touching herself they
both come a turkey shoots at his dick like before they go go upstairs he's like do you have a roasting pan like to her mom and he's like I don't want it to fall on the floor or anything and so is it a raw turkey no no it's fully cooked um is it fully seasoned yeah mhm but they are um he's like we we're going to have to heat it up cuz it's like body temperature so he's like we can pop it in the oven for like a cool 20 or 30 Skin's already nice and crispy no need to panic
that is mentioned that the skin is crispy that is mentioned okay keep going so I love that you're doing a self hug right now but like around my neck like it's like extra I'm like I'm like trying to fully ground myself I see that it's not going to help so Jennifer is like super fascinated by this she's like oh my God look at that and raccoon starts to freak out that he has scared her away he's like oh my God like this was too much I'm so sorry like this was too much the
tur the the toaster was fine the turkey's the problem he's like please don't like leave me like uh please whatever please don't leave this entire relationship we've built over the last 6 hours hours so she is actually like super grateful to him but she feels really weird about feeding her family turkey that came out of his penis um yes Jennifer Yes penis turkey because when they say where did you just get this turkey from what's your answer we'll get there so [ __ ]
hell raccoon is like why do you care like they clearly don't care about you you just gave me a [ __ ] to save your mom's Thanksgiving like who cares where the turkey came from she's like well you know that is great perspective and he's like you know and we can heat it up like well we're going to put it back in the oven so it's not like it's it's going to be sterilized or whatever like it's fine um I remember when I was in high school I worked at a country club and me and
several of the servers I was the only server there who was a minor right um and so it was also one of those things where I was like the normal hospitality industry Dynamics were very much in full swing and I was just sitting there and too Youngy yeah but one night I ended up going out to Applebee's for drinks after our shift ended and you could tell one of the girls I was I forget what happened but like she annoyed the server and when the drinks got delivered
she goes she probably spit in this the other girl goes alcohol kills the germs just chug it you're fine that was and I'm like yeah yeah I mean to be fair if she's spitting in Tequila you're probably you're you're going to be be fine on that yeah you're probably going to be okay like shitty of her but also who cares really yes and that's what I kills the germs who gives a [ __ ] like we're going to we're going to heat it up it's fine but she like can't do it she's
like okay no you're right but then they sit down to dinner and her brother this whole time by the way is like serving food and like respectful and not a dick and so she's like before the family can eat it she's like the tur the turkey came out of raccoon's dick like and uh no one acknowledges it and they all just eat it and it's delicious so okay just thinking about if I'm at my family Thanksgiving and everyone is serving their plates up and they're sitting at the table and we're
about to have the full meal and I shout this turkey came out of Vance's dick I would expect some sort of reaction right like you need some Hound all what the [ __ ] yeah like I don't think my family is just going to go give me my fork and knife right like we're not going to just casually eat the dick turkey no we're going to have some questions about the dick turkey their family culture is clearly like steeped in denial so like yeah they just eat the turkey but it's not even steeped in
denial because she literally told them right but they're denying the information are they denying it or are they just accepting it and going Believe It or Not Jennifer not a deal breaker for us you know that's not disclosed I'm making an assumption yeah cuz she I mean she did tell them she did tell them and that's her whole thing she's like well I warned them she's like she like clearly I'll eat the dick turkey I put my mouth on the Dick delicious and I got a new toaster out of it
juicy seasoned well succulent was there stuffing in it you know I don't know okay honestly I feel better that that's not described I get that sorry keep going so then he is touching her under the table until she really can't take it anymore and she's like okay so we're going home bye everybody like love you bye and um she is worried about riding on his motorcycle without underwear on cuz she's had no panties on this whole time and he reveals that he has a tail that
he can um like magic away but he lets it out to warm her vagina on the motorcycle so they do that and he's like teasing her the whole way way with it um she doesn't she's lost her key somehow for her apartment so she blows him to make a key like this like it's we're just [ __ ] for days like we're three [ __ ] deep yeah so another one in this afternoon right and this one's in an alley because they can't get into the apartment building so like she blows him to make an apartment key I'm also
just going to like thr throw out something crazy if you don't like it you can send it right back locksmith could have been could have been what if he was a locksmith and that was his yep no no problem I can get that door unlocked just let me unzip my pants my dick is the key oh my God I'm sorry I could only unlock doors on federal holidays yeah so logically they're locked out of her apartment and she blows them for a new key that perfectly fits her door obviously yeah so then
they get into her apartment and she's really like kind of nervous about oh God like we're are we going to [ __ ] now like I don't know and he tells her that he just wants to hold her and like explain what's going on like he realizes this whole day has been a whirlwind for her and he wants to like explain what's going on so he tells her that his great-grandfather was a Tanuki which is a Japanese raccoon dog right um you get it and so they are literally the logo for fight
entertainment is a Tanuki my husband's Media company that oh yeah Tanuki Mario it was a yeah uh not going to lie I was walking through Target and this girl was like look daddy raccoon Mario like she was like it's some sort of animal he's like yeah it's a raccoon Mario and he's like having this sweet moment with his daughter and I was like I'm not going to ruin it but as as I was walking past I was like it's a Tanuki but he's having a sweet moment with the daughter so I'm not going to
take it from him but like right you are misinformed right it is a Tanuki a Japanese raccoon dog it's a Japanese raccoon dog and according to this book they are magical and um I wouldn't be surprised by that would have to tag my my husband in for more I think that there is lore cuz I looked it up to like look up the pictures and stuff there is some lore that they are magical um but I I don't know that it's like the way it's described in this book I don't know that
culturally we're honoring the Tanuki um so I feel like we're not honoring a lot of things in this book yeah so um there's a whole thing about like his dad didn't think he was a Tanuki like he didn't think it passed to him are shifters they are technically um but they don't shift very often um okay so Tanuki shifters who don't actually shift very often but have Tanuki like powers powers so um his dad didn't think it passed to him until he was having sex with raccoon's mom and when he came he
didn't realize like he made a wedding ring and she had to go have it like surgically removed because it like embedded inside of her and it was like a whole thing and that's how he realized like he did inherit these Powers um and so a a full-blooded Tanuki I guess is able to come however and make whatever but because he is only a part to Nuki someone else has to make him come right so raccoon Shar for explaining Hannah I apologize for laughing I get it so raccoon shares that
like he had a girlfriend before and she got tired of constantly having to help him because he explains that like his balls are a magnet for magic and they have to be like it has to be expelled or he becomes like he's in pain because of it okay again very classic straight guy response I feel like um why are you doing this to me why are you leaving my balls in this state you know blue balls can can be fatal like okay buddy the Magic's just too powerful unless I let it out
exactly so then Jennifer is like well I'll be with you like I'll help you like thank you for explaining everything like it has been like 8 hours at this point no we're fully committ my my mic in a fit of rage damn it Vance sorry so fully committed and he's like let's go pop your cherry literally direct quote so he's like it was just such a burden in my last relationship that I had to expel the magic and my balls so often and she's like oh my gosh she was so over it
what a poor unfortunate experience that you've had let me help you yeah he's like I'd be watching watching TV with my girlfriend and she'd like half-heartedly give me a hand job because she just couldn't be bothered I'm like okay buddy so anyway yeah and you know what me [ __ ] too right because he says it's like 10 to 12 times a day at his like peak of his magic and he's not there anymore so it's not going to be that much but like that's what it was when he was with this girl and I'm like baby
girl did you have to wear a brace like the carpal tunnel alone holy [ __ ] develop CJ I lost my enthusiasm around [ __ ] number six [ __ ] like I I can't keep this level of excitement up for 12 10 to 12 blow jobs a day you are getting a lackluster handy at some point it could be sex but also that is too much well never want a chance a toaster shooting inside of me well we'll get there so no so sexy times in Su okay cuz he's going to help her pop her cherry okay right lots of
degradation talk she's super into it um and he is very sweet to her he's like you're so perfect I'm like afraid you're going to disappear cuz you're so amazing he kisses her belly and he's like this is where our babies are going to grow um and he says that he will make his pre-com sterile and he won't come inside her um because he knows she's not ready for all that so he's like I get it it's been a cool eight hours we can hold off on making a baby um a gentle it's
implied so she plays with his tail which she realizes is an erogenous Zone which is a whole thing has some nerve endings yeah okay and then when he finally comes he pulls out and shoots off confetti and he's like congratulations on your deflowering yeah I don't know if it's worth that the party confetti is coming out of his dick or if someone hit a party popper neither is good so just imagine Hannah just imagine losing your virginity and the guy reaches over and Pops a party
popper and says congrats on your deflowering really de flowering is the worst of that whole scenario for me yeah I think it depends on if he's still inside party popper uh-huh yeah that would be a problem for me I'm sorry keep going so um that's it the epilog wait what the epilog that's it the book ends with him shooting confetti out of his dick and saying congrats on your deflowering yeah and then Jennifer is on her period she's on her couch she's miserable raccoon is
moving in with her um and he's like oh I'll run to the store for whatever you need like give me a list whatever um and she you can't give me that many [ __ ] back to back she's like well what I want is hot buttered rum with whipped cream and takes his dick out and blows him for it and he like comes into a cup okay this is the third time that I made this joke and you've been right um and then she uses his tail as a heating pad and then just crwl up on the couch together and that is the end of the
book huh mhm mhm huh mhm wow yeah thanks Leila Fay mhm huh I've this whole time I've been like what's the rating scale here is hot buttered rum is it confetti is it toaster ovens is it cats you know we have the same toaster oven and it's a pretty awesome to want to go toaster ovens we can okay we can go cute cute toaster ovens go cute toaster oven um I'm going to go out of eight cuz I assume that's how many hours they knew each other um based on context clues um oh I forgot
to say so he tells her that the cat was healed from the beginning because that's one of his powers I forgot to mention the cat the cat's fine so there's that wait no yeah you stop this man healed the cat before they even went to her family's house I don't love that no it feels very manipulative and ick yeah just tell her man yeah just tell her hey I already healed your cat non issue didn't even have to to come for it m and my payment will be you coming me coming to your family
Thanksgiving yeah what an interesting take on Thanksgiving yeah yeah MH MH so eight toaster ovens eight toaster ovens um three yeah I mean four would be 50% yeah three feels goodish you know because it was a unique story I've never read anything like it I can say that with confidence and like there's other stuff in there like he tells her he can't like make her a car because his sack can only stretch so far so like but he can make her as much cash cash as she wants so
like there's other weird stuff in there like it's an interesting story um the character development I felt like wasn't there at all I I I don't think Leila was going for character development in this one no but I wasn't invested in them or like their story I it felt like it was more for like and then a toaster shot out of his dick and like you know which is cool if that's what you're going for that's fine you get a toaster and you get a toaster and you get a turkey like okay
I still have more questions around this only happening on banking holidays well I think that's just when he chose to make himself available like he he will reverse most people work the other days and then don't work on banking holidays and he's like I exclusively work on banking holidays and I expect my girlfriend to satisfy the 10 to 12 times a day I need outside of well it's not 10 to 12 times anymore it's like once or twice a day which still I'm like oh my God yeah well there were three on
Thanksgiving but one of those to be fair was to save the family holiday sure yeah three out of eight toasters yeah the third toaster with the button pushed down so uh let us know what you're grateful for um sorry oh I don't know dude this whole thing I was like what the [ __ ] I was not ready uh there's there's no buildup like it opens with her going to see him to give him a [ __ ] to save her cat and then it ends with him taking her virginity it's like that's it and it's like Okie
doie here we are I guess but you know isn't that the tension that a lot of people feel on Thanksgiving is it my eye I know you're twitching so hard you just started twitching so hard oh my God okay okay so three out of eight eight yep I was about to say three out of five is like that's too many three out of eight toaster ovens yeah maybe one of those Toaster buttons is pushed down who can say yeah it got us talking I'll tell you that it is definitely a conversation starting book
and we can thank it for for what it's bringing to the table in that regard um yeah let us know if you've read this one what your thoughts are if you've read any of Lea's other works yeah let me know if I should check out the rest of the series because I'm into a weird book I won't lie um this one caught me off guard I think that's the like at no point so the last book we reviewed the last book that we reviewed was like the the twin brothers super spies and the super spies
and every single plot twist quote unquote was something you absolutely saw coming like from the moment you started the book so you're just like oh yep oh wow that happened I didn't know and I feel like this book I genuinely was going oh wow that happened I didn't know well you kept making jokes and I was like Auntie and it yeah and I'm like surely this is so ridiculous and you're like but is it though and it is yeah no it really is that ridiculous yeah it is
yes full sack ladies and gentlemen full sack by Leela Fay um don't forget to like subscribe rate review comment all of the things send us a message we would love to hear your thoughts on this um because I feel like I have a lot more thoughts on on this I will say by the end I was rooting for raccoon I was like okay like he's taking care of her it's nice we always love a book when you can root for a man named Raccoon by the end at the beginning I was like yeah I um am still not necessarily
a raccoon sympathizer quite yet I wouldn't say that I'm like a huge fan but I'm like okay you know I understand a little more yeah no very fair okay we are at a zero Baseline on raccoon we don't hate him give or take he's also not the hero that we're like absolutely backing yes that's fair we're going hey raccoon we see what you're bringing to the table and we honor it and we respect it and shoot some more confetti out of that dick my guy sure and until then we will still be sitting here
recording other books so see you next time smut [ __ ] see you next time well that's it for this week's smut [ __ ] we hope it was good for you cuz it sure was great for us if you're digging what we're doing it would mean a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend us an ear we love you we appreciate you and we'll see you next week stay spoty [Music]