well hello All You Beautiful [Music] People you know what time it is ladies and gents Guys and Dolls and everyone in between gather around get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on cuz it's time for smut Club here's your hosts Chelsea and [Applause] Hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea and today we're talking about smut this is the podcast where we do that in case the title didn't didn't give you a warning this is what we're here to do
and sometimes we Day drink while we do that I'm not doing that today so that whole intro was just full on me that's just there's you being and you there's that oh no what what there was a situation recently where like someone looked at me and I was like I'm completely sober I'm like I have nothing to blame but this is all me but myself I don't mean to brag you're welcome but yeah I was like cool cool cool cool love this that's also like uh cuz I went to Seminary for grad school and I got
reported for drinking because it went against the code of conduct and someone reported to our like housing director that they saw me walking in drunk and I was like well I drive myself everywhere I have like no family here so wouldn't do that like I'm not disputing that I have had something to drink but like I wouldn't drive yeah like I'm not sure what they're referring to and I looked at the apartment manager I was like you know me I'm pretty loud pretty clumsy so
like there's a decent chance I was completely sober and he paused and he goes touche like and that is why I didn't get evicted being clumsy helps we love to be known for something that is my claim to fame what book are we doing today Maneater by Emily Antoinette that sounds like a Regal name it does doesn't it yeah yeah okay I have not heard of this one I found it on the Tik Tok it's technically a prequel um so in I I did read the first book in the series and this is about the
the first book is about the son of this couple okay so this is said in the 80s it's like 40 years in the past um that hurt right yeah cuz when I got to the epilog and it was like 40 years later 202 something and I was like good like oh great that was like when uh our roommate told us for his 26th birthday he was thinking of doing a decade themed party and I was like what what decade we think in' 70s ' 80s maybe even the '90s getting crazy with it and he goes I was thinking the early 2000s no
no wow I was not ready for that pain to be so visceral right the other day at work we admitted somebody and their birth date was 2004 and I was like no like I was like oh my God that was fully 20 years ago holy [ __ ] oh no uh when people started saying I don't need to check the rest of your ID it starts with a one yeah that that also hurt yeah or when people refer to us as being born in the late 1900s that one I find kind of amusing but also kind of like makes it sound
like we're vampires or something like oh you're from the late 1900s like yeah I am you're like ooh is this a Dracula retelling and you're like no no like like Bill Gates was on the scene we're just talking about when Britney Spears was on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse um like and Ryan Gosling oh yeah and Justin Timberlake Christina agilera yeah I think so there were a lot of them yep that started out there mhm mhm just fascinating to look back on and like see all of the moments of like Child Actors
and be like oh my God this makes sense why why you haven't been doing okay for so long we really do get it we hope you're okay we're so sorry there are resources and supports quite frankly I don't know if I have the Specialties that you need probably not no no no no that's also like okay when Kanye got involuntarily committed to the hospital yeah my only thought was like I shudder to think of being the person who wrote that paperwork oh yeah no thinking about the intake because we had somebody
recently that had this Fantastical story and we were all like okay so we're looking at potential delusions like we're looking at right we're doing all this Diagnostics and then she met with the psychiatrist and the psychiatrist like you guys it's it's real what like she's telling the truth and we were all like oh oh [ __ ] like so I can see some like old white woman who has no idea who Kanye is like sitting down to do his intake and like making notes well I'm thinking when he actually got invol
voluntarily hospital when he actually was outside his mind but like being like the crisis worker who gets called to his house when he's in his yard and you're just like writing on your little clipboard being like least restrict least restrictive measures are not appropriate for these reasons like as evidenced by 100% um but but also to your point once they get there and then you're like is I what part of this is real what part of this also the old classic of is is this a
mental health diagnosis or are you just a dick right because that's also a common thing I'm like no great question this isn't a narcissistic personality disorder he's just an [ __ ] yeah yeah believe it or not that mean those are the same yeah they're not interchangeable no yeah but people like to pretend that they are they sure do well there was that uh there was a psychologist on Tik Tok and she was like the one who was like your mother-in-law isn't like this diagnosis
your like exboyfriend isn't to this diagnosis and I was like thank you louder for the people in the back people are often just people like yes they're not diagnosable they're just I also yeah I think that there are moments where like no one I would hate to be judged by my worst moments oh my God yeah right yeah I mean we all have traits of something in our worst moment absolutely and then we also just all have seasons that like we're growing that like we don't know things and I'm
like I don't want you to hold me to what 13-year-old Chelsea said God right I'm like I I've tried to grow yeah and I I believe that I have most of the time I think I've come a really long way yeah me too yeah me too I was a talking to a client recently about uh using the practice of like when you're having when there's something that you're like [ __ ] on yourself for in the present and being like okay if 5-year-old Chelsea was here right now what would I say to her about this or if
13-year-old Chelsea was here right now like how would I communicate to her about it and my client was just at me like and she's like that's going to be so hard to do I was like I know girl it does not feel good to practice self-compassion at that level doesn't I actually have a picture of three-year-old me that I keep in a place where I see regularly so that I can do it more easily yeah it's me on my play school slide with my hair all out crazy my naturally red
hair yeah because we had it on our shag carpet because Florida is too hot to have a plastic place School side outside so that is awesome I went up and down it so many times in my footy pajamas the static electricity made my hair stand up well that's adorable I know I'm like I can have compassion for that kid that's cute as hell 1,000% but it's funny because you're like okay so what would you say to like 32y old Hannah about this like 32y old Chelsea I'm like man I become so much
less kind when I'm like well current me is like I've never been old than I am now so I should have figured this [ __ ] out already right my my husband like asked me once he's like what would you say to current you about that and that was my response and he was like that backfired in a way I did not that didn't go how I think it was going to go oh my God okay so back to Maneater back to Maneater so actually some of this is really relevant because our main guy Shane has some very intense anxiety
okay he has a really tough time being social and that's like a very common theme so he is a witch and he's brand new to town so this is very Supernatural um and there are lots of different kinds of soups in this world and so is this in and I'm sorry if you said it and I missed it is this in like a modern city or is this in like a it's in the 80s that's how we got here in the first place well no I I still understand that it's the ' 80s but I'm like is this like
the 80s in like New York or Milwaukee or is this like it's a small town it's called Moonville and that's the okay or maybe not I don't remember the series is moonveil so maybe this is somewhere else but regardless but a small town smallish town full of soups yes so um he is a private investigator and he's trying to get his business going having just moved to town and so he is going around to different businesses hanging flyers and stuff like that um and uh he walks into
this like new AG shop and he hears people like [ __ ] in the back and he's like I should leave and like knocks over an entire like stand of stuff and he's like Jesus Christ like oh my God oh my God oh my God and so um I I don't know if there's a way to ever exit something like that without accidentally making noise no there's no way to do that gracefully no no and he is startled as hell he is a 25-year-old virgin and he's so painfully awkward he's like you've
got to be [ __ ] kidding me like I just oh my God like I just want to hang some flyers like and so I just want to be able to pay my bills why is this happening I just want to get my business off the ground so the shop owner comes out and immediately recognizes him as another Supernatural because he spelled the Flyers so that other Supernaturals would know so it be more easy he would be more easily hired by Supernaturals which is what he wants like calls to like ex yeah so she um is like
Absolutely I'll hang this up for you sweetie like you should come to our coven meeting like the next day or something uh and he really doesn't like social Gatherings but he knows that he needs to go he's like I have to network but at what cost he's like well I've been wanting a coven like I want other people to practice with like this is important to me is there any like so he just moved to town was like there like a tragic thing that he was he's just new to town it's never mentioned yeah yeah
get kind nice that it's not mentioned yeah we really don't get much backstory for either character in this but it doesn't feel like the story is any less yes you know engaging well and and I appreciate that cuz I feel like there are some books where I'm like we didn't need this much backstory and now this book is like 200 Pages longer than I would like it to be yes and this book is only like 170 I think oh heck yeah yeah it's meant to be more of a Nolla MH entry into the world to set up the
actual Series so um so the actual series I'm assuming the books are longer and this yes yeah the first book is called behold her and I think it's around 400 pages okay um but also really good well I know like uh the ice Planet Barbarian series that we just reviewed like each of those books throughout the whole series I think is and I I I might be off on this but I think they're all like 200ish like they're all of them shorter right but I guess if this is more of the
prequel mhm uh she kept it short I I appreciate yeah a prequel in that regard yeah and it's really like it's really nice the way she sets up the world in the 80s and then brings it back like in more present day it's just a really cool way that she did it but um poor Shane is so so incredibly awkward and he keeps feeling like this shop owner who's maybe in her 40s keeps flirting with him and he keeps being like surely not I'm misreading that and like just moves on and like
pretends like maybe not like it's okay it's all going to be okay she's just trying to be nice to the new kid in town everything's cool don't be weird so the next day he does show up to the Cen meeting and he immediately is like weird Vibes in here like I hate it I don't like it because everyone is like checking him out very obviously and making like weirdly sexual comments is it a a witch's coven it is yeah it's a coven of witches I wasn't sure if there if if other
Supernaturals Supernaturals had covens as well that is not disclosed but I don't think so um this one's just witches and like stuff like one of the guys comes up and kind of makes a little bit of an advance with him and he kind of like backs up and the shop owner who's the only one that he really knows is like oh sweetheart don't worry about him like he's just another appreciator of nice bodies and he's like what well and I also like that we like the shop owner is the only one he really
knows does he he like went into her shop well knows her name like you know like that's the ex it's not like he's like oh she's a safe space and all this he's like no I've seen her before and that is the only heard her banging somebody like that's really all I've got um so he's like holy [ __ ] if they brought me here as a virgin sacrifice and he's like no they can't tell I'm a virgin right he's like no surely they can't tell okay maybe they're just weird he's like moving on he's like I
would be so pissed if I die a virgin it's unacceptable so that'd be such a weird thing right like like how can they tell like they're all like we smell the Virgin on you can smell it on you that's why we invited you here we just got a good waft of Virgin um so he they keep talking about this ceremony they're doing this ceremony they're doing and he's trying to find like trying to do an Irish exit and like or say he's going to the bathroom and not come back cuz he's really not
enjoying the energy here but they pull him into a circle but he does not participate in the Chant that they're doing and um he actually breaks out of the Circle as they finish um what they're doing which is summoning a succubus so they summon a sex demon and it he's like this is the most incredible beautiful creature I've ever seen in my life holy [ __ ] she's got like purple skin and this long black hair and these big wings and a tail and and she's topless and she's wearing a glitter
thong and platform heels and he's like what the [ __ ] he's like oh my god um so not the same at all so similar but different okay well before we actually successfully summoned the succubus and I was we talking about he ended up like in the circle but didn't really want to be then just like tried to like bow out of the circle one time when I lived in Nashville a friend invited me to this house show cool I'm broke this is a house show I'll go have fun sure um and so at one point
one of the artists who was playing at this house show wanted everyone to get up and like get into a group hug and like sing the song together and everyone from where I was seated was participating and I only knew the friend who had invited me and then suddenly I'm in the circle singing this song and I go where the [ __ ] is Amanda and Amanda is like on the couch and she's like hell no I wasn't joining that circle of people I didn't know you just left me here and then I was like
can I Can I exit gracefully and I was like I think I just have to like back out backwards really quick yeah I just had to let that whole song play out and then like went to get a drink and then I just like couldn't get back to my seat after that similar energy from Shane yes um but no sex demon no sexon that's not what we were trying to do no or maybe it was I think I blacked out a little bit totally fair totally fair and understandable um oh I forgot to mention
so this is dual point of view okay um so next we get l so L is our succubus she is [ __ ] pissed and um she was working her shift at the strip club on the pole and just vanished Into Thin Air and forced into her demon form I would be very annoyed by that as well yeah she's real real mad I don't think it like bodily autonomy ever really I've processed that in that regard when you're summoning things yeah so that becomes really re relevant because the leader then begins demanding
that she feed on all of them and [ __ ] all of them or they're not going to let her out of the circle and she's like dude she's like first of all I don't have time for this second of all like what the [ __ ] like seriously so she has no interest in any of it and that's like some bold assumptions 100% yeah we summoned you so now you have to [ __ ] all of us or you can't leave obviously you want to you're a succubus right and so um did you see what she was wearing glitter
thong well glitter thong and Winks she wanted it she really didn't she didn't she didn't she didn't though and so she is about to just do it like do what she has to do so that she can go back to work because she does not have time for this when all of a sudden she notices this really cute red head step into the break in the circle and he he goes the [ __ ] off he is like how [ __ ] dare you she did not consent to any of this back the [ __ ] away from her and is like like
comes riding to the rescue right and like grabs her hand and pulls her out of the circle um and he's like you are like this is assault she did not ask to come to your weird [ __ ] orgy and all of the the other witches are like crying and they're like we need this she's like we need this okay like no she's like I still didn't consent you weirdos right like what about uh no I like that their whole excuses but we're so hard up right like they're all clearly [ __ ] each
other too like that's the weird energy that Shane's picking up on is like they regularly have weird orgies like they clearly are fine this is a weird sex cult so um see I wasn't sure initially if it was going to be like a coven of suc You by yeah yeah yeah or something of that capacity this isn't what I was expecting no me either okay so um she finds Shane completely endearing because he's doing his best not to look at her boobs because she's fully topless in her demon
form and he's like like laser focused on her eyes like so like trying so hard not to look and um then all of a sudden he starts unbuttoning his shirt and she's like okay so like he's giving her his shirt right but her assumption is he wants his dick sucked because he rescued her from all the other ones and he's like it'll be so much easier for me to focus on your eyes if your tits are covered yes so she's like okay I get it like she says it out loud and he's like
no no no no no no no like I just thought just thought you'd be more comfortable we're standing on the sidewalk I just I just thought you'd be more comfortable with a shirt on my heart I know I know and he's like but only if you want you don't have to cover up it's completely okay just whatever you want whatever you want um and she is like blown away that he is so thoughtful and like not trying to get anything from her and so so um he keeps calling her ma'am and she's very into
that um so then he offers her a ride back to work um and does she live in town yes okay yes everybody's local um and um he is still like just adorably self-righteously angry on her behalf and she's like it's really okay like I'm a succubus it happens all the time he's like absolutely the [ __ ] not it's okay like no way also I'm just going to like if they want to [ __ ] us succubus that bad they can just go to the strip club yeah well and she I mean she still has
to consent I just mean like they don't need to like summon her from across town right I thought when we were summoning someone no they were far further away no she wasn't like in the demon realm having a great time yes no um yeah so he is like going off about I can't believe they would just assume that you would [ __ ] them because you're a succubus and then he's like of course you can if you want to obviously you can do whatever you want but it should be what you
want and so um she is just like really taken by how adorable he is and so she invites him to come to the strip club the next night to see her um and um it's then the next night like she gets out of the car it's very cute she's like so are we going to like bang in your car then he's like no no no I've enjoyed this time we've had together because she still doesn't believe him that he's like really this kind and sweet and so the next night she's working and it's like getting on 11:
11:30 and she's like ah he's not going to come like this really sucks I feel so emotionally invested in this I know right um and I didn't even read this one I know I'm going to add it to my list now it's really good so she's like really disappointed and like the other the like the bartender and some of the other dancers can tell some things off and she's like well like I met this guy and I really thought like but it's okay it's okay well Shane has been outside in
his car for an hour trying to work up the nerve to go inside because he's like maybe she doesn't actually want me to be here like maybe she just felt bad like I don't want to make her feel weird but then she did invite me so maybe she does want me to be here she does still have my shirt she told me I should come back for her shirt well and he's like cannot the anxiety is like off the chain that it hurts my heart when people live with that level of anxiety all the time
I know like it is exhausting it and I know some people can like get annoyed and they're like just make a [ __ ] decision and like just and I'm like that's not how this works if I could I would yes because thankfully I'm not like this all the time and I've done a lot of work on it but I absolutely have had moments like this where it's like paralyzing and it's really hard to explain if you haven't experienced it but like plus his little heart he works his nerve up and he's like I'm doing
this and he goes in hell yeah and the bouncer is like enjoy your night kid like he's so he's freaking out so so bad like everybody can tell and the bartender is like is this your first time honey and he's like well yeah and she's like well I can call over so and so like if you just want to talk like I bet she would love that and he's like no no no I'm actually here for someone I'm looking for someone specific and she's like you're here for candy and he's like um
yes he's like is that her name is that L like yes and so um he is about to like fully lose his [ __ ] and like just back out when the bartender is like hey sweetie before this next dancer comes out maybe go see if you can get a spot near the front Okay and he's like what and of course it's l and she comes out and essentially dances just for him and he's like this is the most incredible thing that has ever happened to me like be cool everybody be cool like sh sh you're gonna [ __ ] this up
everybody shut the [ __ ] up like oh my God so Ella is so excited that he's here and um he's just this adorably sexy nerd that's a little rumpled and obviously very very nervous and um she's worried that he's not actually into her because she keeps like going to like touch him a little bit or like do whatever and he's like locking up and she's like Shane if you're not into me that's really okay sweetheart like you can just tell me I don't mean to make you uncomfortable
he's like no no no no no no no please don't stop he like oh my god well do you remember my so-called life yes I just remember there was a scene where it was like the narration of from like the nerdy dude's point of view his name is escaping me but the girl put her arm or her hand on his arm and like the voice over was like finally my first direction from actual female contact like literally yes truly yes and he's like I'm just really trying to not embarrass
myself by having you you touch me cuz I will get too excited yes and so um he like he's like but here's the thing is like you're a goddess and I just want to get to know you and I want to take you out for coffee and just learn more about you what makes you laugh and then I want to take you out to dinner and learn all of your hopes and dreams and like and he's just like on and on and she's like okay honey we're going to go to the champagne room okay and he's like okay
he's like I think I brought enough money and she's like no sweetheart you can you can pay me if you want to and I'll give it back at the end if it's hotter for you if if you're paying for it okay and he's like okay he like does not know what to do with himself he's like freaking the [ __ ] out and so um L decides she's going to give him a lap dance um but he's like you have to promise to go get that coffee with me though before you do that and she's like seriously he's like no
like for real like you have to promise and so she gets very dominant she tells him like to cover the cameras with his magic um and then she's like and now you're going to make me come and he's like yes ma'am I I captain and so um he he gets real like weird and she's like what's wrong and he's like I just I just need you to tell me what to do I've never and then he like locks up and he's like I just want to make sure I'm doing what you like and she's like okay and gives
him step-by-step instructions to an incredible orgasm for her and she goes to return the favor like he's fingering her or whatever she goes to return the favor and he's like no no I'm okay and she's like you don't you don't want me to and he's like um I already um cuz just touching you was so amazing and all the sounds you made were really incredible and um I'm I'm good but I know I know and she's like holy [ __ ] like he was in that into my pleasure like I've never been with anybody everybody
assumes like I'm a succubus and like I'll just enjoy whatever right whatever you do to me is going to be fine um and so she's like this is amazing and I'm so excited for coffee she's like I'm glad I said yes to the coffee now yeah so then um and he's literally just like uh like open the window and I feel the breeze and I jiz in my pants 100% he's like very embarrassed but also like kind of laughing a little bit about it as well like so he's a good sport about all of it and
she teases him a little and it's all very cute I'll say this it feels endearing how you're describing how it's written right yes and I don't know how I would handle that in the moment right that's a very good point that's a very good point yeah cuz I'm like oh reading about I'm like oh this is so sweet and like and that's very much how it set up right yeah but in real life but in real life I'm like I I don't know like that's not a situation I automatically know how
to navigate right right well she's like would you like me to go get your shirt from last night for you so you can hold it in front of yourself when you walk out he's like no that's okay you can keep it he like does a little spell and like scurries out and she's like this is [ __ ] adorable which I I think is kind of like what she's into like she's got a little bit of like a Dom almost mommy kind of energy and so I think that she likes that that he's like a little bit like he's not as
experienced and he's you know figuring it out and super willing and sweet I think she's into it I think if it were not that energy it would be like seriously well literally what I was just thinking was I'm like I feel like that's the only way to play it if that's where you're at because if you're like not that experienced and you're trying to be respectful and figured out you can only play it as like the show me what you like right because when you try and play it as I know what I'm
doing and then everyone's like oh no not that right no oh that not there there not that like it's a lot of that conversation right to the left take it back now y'all one hop this time actually kind of but anyway um yes I do think it's just like a general like if you're inexperienced there is something about just like owning that in an authentic way versus being like I know what you like and you're like but you really don't right but that's often true of like any new partner regardless
of how much experience you have like not everybody likes the same things everybody's different and so which is also a very funny thing in because in all of the books pretty much every single one yep it's like electric from the jump it's never been like this with another partner before and I'm like I don't know if there's ever been a time where like the very first sexual interaction I was like we're just in each other Souls right no notes like no there are there are lots of notes you
not lots of not lots of notes at least two usually you know not lot even if one of them is good job right but like there are notes versus the books of just like incredible the whole time well and I think that's part of why I liked this is like they're very obvious with their communication with each other both ways about it um and so it felt more approachable like more authentic in it well it also seems like if like if she has a little bit of like the Dom mommy stuff there's also just
something I appreciate the approach to like her being a succubus that's not what everyone thinks of as like the stereotypes and she's like no I like I like to be treated kindly right with respect is cool yeah big fan but it is interesting because until she got summoned across town and was annoyed I'd never really thought before about mhm uh what demons were doing when you summoned them what you were interrupting right like some poor schmuck is like having coffee minding his own business trying
to have breakfast like what do you need now we all need to [ __ ] you damn it I just I just poured that cup like I really just wanted to finish my eggs you guys Jesus Christ like I was at a funeral I don't know why that wherewe I went okay kind of um so he anyway he does a little spell and scurries out scurries away and he she writes down her number he's going to call her all that because again this is the 80s so it's land lines all around so um Shane plays
Dungeons and Dragons with his friends um none of them are witches they're all varying kinds of Supernatural and um wonder if that experience if that changes your experience of playing Dungeons and Dragons I imagine that it might um but I don't know um forever and always I will love that keym peel sketch Dungeons and Dragons and [ __ ] yes it's a classic I haven't thought about that in ages I'm going to have to go watch it again I'm probably we can do that when we stop recording this we
should do that because it's it's Peak Excellence I just remember when he like rolls the dice and he's like a lot of titties fall out like something yes and they're all like yeah they're like oh a cool dude is playing with us okay he's like we're going to the strip club in Dungeons and Dragons all right once sorry I keep taking us off topic no it's I'm I'm liking it it's good oh well thank you you're welcome so we're playing Dungeons and Dragons with our friends and um his
best friend encourages him um to call El again because he has called and left a message and it's been a couple days and she hasn't called back and he's like [ __ ] he's like so should I call her again like he doesn't have really any experience dating and so he's like is calling her again weird like is she it's not a double text if it's been several days right exactly does get that whatever the 80s equivalent of a double text was calling twice in a row probably
so his best friend is like listen dude if you really like her call her again one more time and if she doesn't respond then that's that's your answer right and so he makes the call and Ella is so excited to hear from him she's like oh my God this is amazing I'm so glad you called again you didn't leave your number when you left that message and he's like yeah I too am glad I called again yeah he's like oh right so they make a date for the next day um and he is so
excited but then he's like oh my God like I have a really hard time like controlling myself around her I should cast a spell on my dick so that I won't just randomly get hard as soon as I see her cuz that would be weird Okay so not quite the same we're going to put that on a t-shirt not quite the same I once heard this story of a of like a middle school freshman in high school I don't know someone young was about to lose their virginity and they like planned with their like girlfriend
that they were going to do it after school that day so they put the condom on in the morning yes yes that one oh oh kiddo no no no just wore it all day comprehensive sex education is important you guys like just for the record even if you believe abstinence is the the option is the right choice comprehensive sex education is still necessary yeah it's necessary and important and to be fair I don't think that anybody who believes in abstinence only is listening to this
podcast pretty sure they they were weeded out from the top like if you are going to prove us wrong on that front hit me up please do yeah yeah I have questions I would like to know you but anyway so Ella is super excited um and she tells her cousin all about it and there's some illusion to like Elle has some baggage from previous relationships where guys really kind of disparaged her because she's a succubus into thinking that like you know she was basically like a super [ __ ] and you know
whatever people treating you shitty because they're making assumptions about you based on your appearance 100% yeah so really grabby with a woman because of how she looks it's almost like this is a social commentary a little bit yeah yeah yeah oh what um so her cousin just tells her to be careful she's like the cousin um who uses they them pronouns um says you know I love you and I want you to be careful like I'm glad you have somebody that you really like please be careful so I think
that is valid feedback very much so we very much fans of the cousin um so Shane decides to bring flowers and then he's like oh my God that's really weird is that weird for a first day to bring flowers that feels like it might be weird but I have already had my fingers inside of her so maybe flowers are okay he's like I don't know and he's about to like Chuck them cuz he's already rang the bell so he's about to like Chuck them when she opens the door um because the pink is the same color like the
dusty like rose pink is like the same color as her skin in demon form and so he thought of her and so she's just super touched oh my God he's so I know and um he says oh hey by the way like you know we're about to go for coffee whatever but just so you know I'm going to report the coven to the Paranormal Council in town and she's like really he's like yes yeah like what they did wasn't okay yeah and she is like flabbergasted that he would do that because no one has ever done anything
like that for her in the past um and so then they talk some more about um Sam Hayne which is a witch holiday coming up and um Shane doesn't really have plans but um cousen Z often throws a party that usually devolves into an orgy they're all succub so they just kind of do whatever they want um and he offers to go with her if she wants and she's like you'd be into that and he's thinking like surely they will have snacks and I can hang out by the snacks while Elle has a
great time and then when she's ready to go I can leave with her and we'll just I'll get to meet her cousin and her friends do you want to go to this orgy with me what's the snack situation honestly like he gets it um and so they just have a really cute first date and um it lots of getting to to know you Elle is worried that she's too boring when she tells him like she just wants like a house and a pet and some kids and like to live her life and Shane's like same like
soulmates like he's so like hard eyes about the whole thing um and so um Shane is like oh you'd be a great mom and she's like really seriously because in the past like when she's mentioned wanting kids to Partners they have immediately been like you'd have to stop being such a dirty [ __ ] [ __ ] for that like just really hateful things so the fact that he is kind to her but also clearly genuine about it is like mind-blowing for her it's unfortunate how often basic levels of kindness are
uh y the bar is on the floor and people still trip over it yep like it is wild yep yep um but that's kind of the whole thing through this is that Shane really does raise the bar in my opinion repeatedly um but they get to know more about each other she's 37 he's 25 um they both have longer lifespans they don't live like forever forever but they live longer than normal humans um and so she invites him back to her place and um he's really excited but he's realizing that the spell he cast on
his dick sick didn't work and so he has been walking around with like a raging boner this whole time he's like super super love that for me great I shouldn't cast dick magic at 4:00 a.m. got it like might wear off took him that long to like find the spell so so um I would have uh done the dick magic sooner but it took me a while if I had only known so El gives him this incredible [ __ ] and it turns out the spell did in fact work he can't come so he just stays hard and she's like oh my
God like are you not into this right now like what is happening and um I also Imagine that's a weird thing for her as someone who's like their sexualness is just like their thing their thing like it's innate to every fiber of their being he just like blurts out I can't come and she's like well okay then she's like well then I will stop torturing you and he's like thank you oh my God like he's like oh my god do you remember the movie Crazy Stupid Love Yes when they go to the like the School
parent teacher conference and Steve Carell had [ __ ] merca to and she's like yeah the kind of guy who lets a woman go downtown for 45 minutes because he was nerous and Juliana Mo's like ew my God my your poor jaw like honestly yeah 45 minutes like are there water breaks for that I'm like that's really where you're like this is a hand job and my mouth is on the end like this is yeah we're phoning it in at that point like far too long my my jaw would not survive well I would lose my number one
dick sucker trophy if you listen to ice Planet barbarians if not check it out or don't and just live in the Curiosity of why Hannah is going around being like number one dick sucker right here and you're like wow that's a lot of confidence I I'm saying I would lose my number one dick sucker at that point I'd be like listen it's not worth it yeah I don't know what my time limit is but it's it's def not 45 minutes definitely 45 yeah definitely less than godp speed to you if you're like no I
feel like I could go for 45 how can you I don't know if I want you to teach me but I do have some questions I'm like can you get TMJ from that like i' be like concerned about long-term Health ramifications you're like listen I have a bit of lock jaw that's not going to be a problem is it oh no mm- not good not good uh um so anyway so he blurts out I can't come yes and then she's like Okie do so then he basically tells the whole story that he's a virgin and he was nervous about
this whole thing and that's how that happened and um she decides that she's going to tell him a secret since he told her a secret and she says that no one has ever been in love with her before um and he is like what how is that possible he's like not possible not in love with her right yeah yeah um so um Shane is with his best friend they're they're doing something and um he like blurts out to his best friend that who is a wolf shifter that he is really nervous to go out to dinner with her
like he's a virgin he has no experience he doesn't know what to do d d d he's freaking out freaking out and his buddy is like whoa he's like okay okay sit down we have work to do and he gives him like a crash course in eating [ __ ] he's like here you go Bud he's like my ex was not with me for as long as she was because of my personality let's be honest like I know what I was bringing to the table Yeah 100% so the dinner date goes great um and they do cute little secret
swap like that becomes their thing and he's like I'm bisexual and she's like me too like Okie do and he's like oh thank God she's like have people made you feel uncomfortable about that and they have like a cute little bonding thing um so L's secret because that was not her secret is that she wants this is not relevant to the story but is hilarious she once accidentally peed on someone during a lap dance and she's like he's like L how why what the [ __ ] and he's like crying he's laughing so
hard and so she tells him the story that like it was a really busy shift and she didn't realize she had to pee until she was halfway through and it wasn't like a full thing but like he tickled her and so a little bit came out and I tried to tell him that I squirted but I don't think he believed me incredible it's so good it's so good and so then he's like after that he like would you like to come back to my place and she's like yes it's just so cute um question mhm cuz I I don't know much about
succubus mhm uh do like anatomically are there differences cuz I know when she's in her demon form her skin is a different color so we will get to the specifics of it but yes okay um she has wings she has a tail in her demon form her demon form in her human form she's like regular you know when you said she was in a glitter thong and had wings but was in her demon form I was deaf imagining like Victoria Secret it didn't like compute that WIS for her act yes I was like oh yeah I
didn't even think for her dance number it like didn't dawn on me that they were attached to her person yeah no that's part of her person okay so Shane they get back to his place and he asks permission to eat her out um and she's like yeah like okay and so she gives him a little bit of instruction but like he is a champ and um clearly has a little bit of a praise King going on and as soon as she comes he's like may I please do that again and she's like Jesus Christ like
this the perfect man like oh my god um so then um a few days later Shane is having a party with his D and D friends for Halloween um he is super I love that he made some friends when he moved to town he did he did he needed witch friends or thought he needed witch friends but he did have a couple of people that he was getting close to well he he might need witch friends but like not witch friends that are like also like a secret sex call yeah no he literally at one point in the book is
like I am literally never speaking to another witch again never again um but anyway so he is having this D and D party at his apartment with his friends for Halloween uh he is super obsessed with L and um bummed he can't see her cuz she's working but he finally tells his best friend that she's a succubus cuz at this point he did not know that and he's like Jesus what he's like a succubus dude like oh my God so he's freaking out very cute bonding stuff going on um
so then the club turns out is closed the strip club is closed because of a power outage and so El decides to just crash the party like she just shows up at his apartment and at first she like kind of freaks out that maybe he doesn't want her there like what if he has somebody else in there like oh my God and then he's just so happy to see her she's like oh okay like maybe that's my other stuff So eventually like she gets to know everybody she convinces two of his
friends to bang not out of like a weird cuz she feeds on Sexual Energy she doesn't have to have sex with people to feed but like when she got there they the best friend and Shane tell her that like those two have been dancing around each other for months and they're driving them crazy like and she's like bet I got it and so so um she said watch me work friends yeah she's like everyone take a seat and so then the party eventually clears out and they start making out and um she like kind of goats
him a little bit into revealing that his fantasy um is for L to be in succubus form while she sits on his face and [ __ ] him with her tail and so he is like you won't want to do it he's like before says it she's like you won't be into it you won't like it like it's too much like no no no no and she's like babe I'm literally a succubus just tell me what you want and she gets very excited and they make it a reality yeah like it's very sweet that he's like you won't like this at all and
she's like no I don't like people trying to coerce me into sexual acts I haven't consented to right I'm all about this right no into things that you want to do right I'm into making your fantasy come true because I like you right so then afterwards he like gets up to like start doing after care and she's like what are you doing she's like sit down and he's like but you're a goddess and you just let me have that and like I should and she's like sit down it's my job to take care
of you okay like everything's going to be okay and so it's like this whole thing where like she does for him um and then it's the night of the cousin's party and Shane is panicked about the orgy um and Elle is like we can just go and say hi like she can tell he's nervous he's like I can just introduce you to everybody and then we can we don't have to stay for the orgy we can leave after you grab some Ruffles chips right ruffles have ridges so um he's like no no no no like I'll I'll just
find the snacks and I will hang out by the snacks and you can go have fun right and um at first she's offended and she's like you think because I'm a succubus I'm just like jumping on whatever like is that what you're into like you want me to have sex with other people like like help me I'm really appreciating their open communication through like moments like this where she's like is that what you're wanting and he's like no well he what he says is like it cuz
she's like I don't want anybody else when I'm single like sure whatever but when I'm with somebody I'm monogamous like just because I'm a succubus doesn't mean that like I have to get dick down all the time by anyone and he's like no like he's like please let me explain I I don't want you to be limited if you want other people that's okay with me like I know sometimes you need that I know you can feed at work like and that's great I'm happy for you for that and like it's okay with me like it's
it's cool um and uh she's like yeah we're not going to go to the party we're going to [ __ ] like right now cuz she's so like no one has ever like supported her in this way and so um he also accidentally says that he loves her he's like I love you so much that like I'll just whatever makes you happy makes me happy like and she's like hold on time out what did you what was that what do you so um she reciprocates the love they finally [ __ ] in the kitchen um she's
giving him instructions he bangs her from behind um and then she goes into succubus form and rides him and she has tentacles inside herself oh like open up and like hold on okay yeah yeah yeah so largely Anatomy is the same mhm one key difference sucks you in sure does well I don't know how many tentacles maybe more than one key difference um but you get it but um after they come a lot and there's a very solidifying moment um she's like hey Shane I want four kids and he's like that sounds
awesome sounds great love that for us so then um a little while later it is Sam Hayne they introduce the cousin and the best friend they're all together um to participate in like a a new beginnings ritual with Shane since he doesn't have a Coven and he just feels really hopeful for the future and that like things are going to be great and he makes a charm that will protect L from being summoned against her will again and she's like are you serious and he's like yeah and I
heard from the council like that coven isn't allowed to meet without outside supervision anymore it's a slap on the wrist but like at least they won't be able to do that to anybody else and then he offers to spell her cousin like a charm so for the same thing so that they will be safe from summoning and 's like oh my God she's like I love you so much she's like how did I even find you if I hadn't have been thank you for saving me from future summonings but if I hadn't
been summoned to that weird party we never would have met exactly so then that's it the epilog is 40 years later and um L is telling their four kids the story of how they met and the four kids who are in their 30s are like Mom please for the love of God please so this book is essentially How I Met Your Mother but for succubus yes yes okay um and um L uh apparently it has become a running joke through the last 40 years that she's like well you know the same [ __ ]
for 40 years does get old maybe I'll trade it in she's he's like whatever makes you happy my love like whatever you like it's like princess brides like as you wish yes it's 100% as you wish um and and um it's just love all around their kids are happy and grown um one of them is moving away their son is moving away and kind of the story of why he's moving and all that stuff is the first book in this series okay um because it is not a happy story um of why he's moving but they're
just like really happy and they have the life that they planned and wanted and he even says or she actually I think says like I'm really really glad that weird sex cult summoned me he's like me too and that's it it's like cinnamon roll joy and just warm coziness yeah I don't I don't know what I was expecting yeah but I also feel like this this is like when we recently uh did Butcher and Blackbird yes and you're like okay well like with the content going into this I'm expecting it
to be like kind of dark and ominous and then you're getting in you're like why is this so delightful it was so cute and like refreshing and I'll say that the first book in this series is dark like it is much darker are they so just like with with the series moving forward is it like each kid has a book does it follow the one so I don't think that each kid has a book because one of them I think is supposed to already be mated from the epilog from what I can tell and
the first book follows Max who is their only son and he's the youngest but I could be wrong the second book isn't out yet but it's definitely darker there's like a lot more violence and a lot more like other stuff going on in that book so this is like a really nice introduction to the universe and introduction to the um prejudices that L struggled with which is kind of a theme in the first book for her son and so it's just really nice like it's just cute well I I feel like like the whole
book is them just being like oh no can I be accepted for who I am yeah and like is this person safe and the other person be like yeah like why would I judge you for that why wouldn't I be yeah yeah like the whole time mhm cuz even like the the final party where she's like you want me to [ __ ] other people and he's like no not like I want you to have what you need in life mhm I want your needs to be met yes he's like I know you can feed at work and I'm glad and that's actually
even a thing I didn't even hit on but like one of her regular customers is another Supernatural and he's known her for years and so she's talking to him and he's like do you need to feed and she's like not really like I have I have a boyfriend now out and he's like I hope it's not like those other [ __ ] and she's like no no but like I'm happy to give you a dance if you'd like and he's like that won't upset your boyfriend and she's like nope he's super supportive and she's like so proud to
tell him that um and that's just kind of the whole thing is them just being proud of each other it's really nice yes yeah like people that are both just like overcoming a lot of in and in their lives and just like supporting each other through their personal growth and development that sounds delightful more of that please cozy as hell okay what's the rating system glitter thongs I was going to say orgies I don't know Victoria Secret wings um I guess sex scult how many members of the sex scult
is that the total yikes um maybe glitter thongs I'm good with glitter thongs that feels right for us you're like oddly enough glitter thongs feels like the safest option glitter thongs feels less gross than sex cult members that's good yeah right that's good let's keep it that way um I'm going to go out of uh 40 because we went 40 years in the future with the epilog m um and I'm going to say like a solid 33 damn like 32 33 like I really really liked this book okay yeah I didn't like
the next one as much because I was expecting more cozy sweet like supportive stuff and there was some of that but it was significantly darker and I wasn't ready for that mhm so not necessarily bad just like not what you expected going in based off of the prequel exactly I think if I had U paid more attention to the synopsis of the first book you know touche and adjusted my expectations I might have liked it more but yeah this is like a 32 like it was really really nice high rating yeah
that's a lot of glitter thongs so many glitter thongs yeah that's one a day for you only have to do laundry once a month yeah because even if there's 31 days in the month if laundry day is day 32 you're golden you are thriving yeah but also like if there's an issue that month we have a spare just one for the whole month though yeah so you got to plan accordingly make sure you're up on where you're at in your cycle anyway so I don't know yeah I started weird I ended weird
it's bookended you know hey Hannah it's a safe place to be weird thank you yeah we read things of all different capacities we really do yeah and and I think that's part of the beauty and charm is like going on that journey and being like what are we going to learn today buckle up everybody and quite frankly I learn a lot probably because I grew up in a repressed Christian household right so there are things I'm like wow this is amazing and everyone's like this is a Tuesday you can do that so
okay not the same but I went to Duncan for coffee the other day and I realiz see how this feels now I realized that you can get two different flavors in your iced coffee oh yeah and I was like oh my God I was like this is amazing and I went to work and I was like listen listen to one of my employees I was like listen this probably is not groundbreaking information for you but this is lifechanging for me did you know and she's like yeah yeah I did know that I was like cool cool cool pass it
[Laughter]
on yeah I love those moments I know yeah it's like when we went to visit some friends who were living in Europe and my mom tried Nutella for the first time and brought back 36 jar of Nutella because she thought she couldn't get it here and to be fair it is far more like normalized not like it was not in every store back in the day but you could def still buy it in the states yeah but no all of us were like shoving Nutella in our luggage cuz it's so good and we had
30 plus jars of it that we were bringing back and if you want your iced coffee at Duncan to be a little bit Nutella esque two pumps of mocha two pumps of hazelnut nailed it thank you you're welcome what a pro tip and on that note let us know how many glitter thongs you would rate this one let us know what flavors you put in your iced coffee that might be controversial Hannah's might not be the only option but a slightly Nutella esque iced coffee is an intriguing option for
sure yeah yeah we're not sponsored by Duncan but it'd be a hell of a lot cooler if we were that is accurate or Boda box or Duncan and Boda box so we can have the uppers and the depressants all in one we're into that so anyway I don't know we're into that we're into the sponsorship are Jesus Christ are we into sponsorships or are we into substance use yes it's not it's not either or it's both and [ __ ] and on that note don't forget to like And subscribe and we will
see you next time smut [ __ ] bye smut puppies well that's it for this week's mut [ __ ] we hope it was good for you cuz it sure was great for us if you're digging what we're doing it would mean a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend us an ear we love you we appreciate you and we'll see you next week stay smarty [Music]