well hello all you beautiful people you know what time it is ladies and gents guys and dolls and everyone in between gather round get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on because it's time for smut club here's your hosts chelsea and hannah hello and welcome to smut club hey everybody hope you're having a good day um we're here to talk about smutty books we sure are i'm hannah i'm chelsea we are both therapists and we read a lot of smut um well so like we're
we're still in january in 2022 when we're recording this episode um the end it's like february starts next week how many books have you already read this year and how many of them were smut i mean all of them were smart valid um 31 books this year holy [ __ ] hannah you like you have read a book a day and we over a book a day to be totally fair to be totally fair i was already like three quarters of the way through three books at the start um that'll do it yeah you know so that
really put me over the top well i mean i thought i was doing pretty good and i'm at 19 books for the year that is pretty good what did you set for your reading goal on goodreads 300.
so here's the thing i've read over 200 the past two years but i also don't like to put that pressure on myself because i'm like i feel like then when you're like oh you're behind schedule then i get stressed out and feel like i need to read quicker and then i'm like not actually reading for enjoyment and i'm just reading because i'm stressed out and have this goal to meet yep so last year i had set my goal is 52 books and so i was like okay a book a week feels very reasonable and then i
read like 204 books and so this year i set my goal to 150 books knowing that i would probably still go over but just like not stressing myself out about it in the process so well i set my goal for 200 books last year and then wound up reading like 330 something so i was like let's just
go with 300. if i don't meet it that's fine that's still a [ __ ] ton of books right and i like honestly my husband says that all the time i'm like i'm behind on books and he's like the [ __ ] you mean you're behind on books behind who right especially like when i like i have to keep it in perspective like i look at my friends reading challenges on goodreads and i'm like cool they said 12 books they were shooting for one a month and i'm sitting here and i'm like i'm i've only read 19
books in january and my husband's like you need to get the [ __ ] over yourself because probably this is not a problem so that said today we are going to review neighbors by stylo phantom phantom bless you yeah honestly i've always read her last name i'd love to know how to i mean the e on the end has always made me say fantome um it's a fun name could be fantomy oh fancy i know fantomy i i don't think i'm gonna say fantomy like that's not what i'm gonna default to sure
to be fair i don't really know if i need to mention it again but probably not stylo phantom so that feels like i don't know i don't remember the word for it but you know where you have a bunch of letters and then you make up words from those letters anagram maybe it feels like one of those like her name is actually like stacy fit phipps or something i know none of those letters don't really match but we can definitely have a dedicated episode where we look into this and see some more okay um all
right so this is the book is neighbors and this is a love triangle book we haven't we haven't had a fun love triangle yet okay also it's kind of a love triangle it's kind of not a love triangle you'll understand as we go through this journey so the three main characters we need to familiarize ourselves with you have katya she's the main love interest she's 23 she's a professional baker because you know she's like i went to culinary school and like then i like had this internship and
now i'm like in charge of their bakery and i am like a small celebrity baker in san francisco and there's like at least a several month waiting list to get my baked goods not a euphemism but it also can be sure we'll we'll get there then we have liam he also goes by eden his last name is edenhof and people call him eden well that's really confusing right so you have liam katya calls him liam but everyone else pretty much calls him edam and then you have woofrickstone
we all know y'all i struggle saying woof i really love wool frick wool frick stone i nailed it and if you want me to say it that slowly every time i i think i can properly pronounce it oh just okay so say wool whoa well y'all legitimately so i have to drive a little over an hour to get to chelsea's house and the whole way here i was trying to think of ways to coach sure to say the word wolf so that we could get through this without me dying i think we're just having to commit to me saying
woof or you're we're gonna have to commit to me going wool every time i say it and that's going to be a process so woof rick woofrick stone carry um he's a real estate mogul so you have katya she's a professional baker woof is a real estate mogul i forgot to mention liam is a sex club owner naturally um it's called the garden his last name is eden you see where we were all so clever um and we will learn more about them as we go so we we open up and katy is like i'm
single i need to make a dating profile i'm sad i don't know i just like need some whatever is happening in my life so she like makes a dating profile on eros the dating site and it's kind of like is this what my life has come to and mind you like i feel like this this book i i need to check the publication date but i feel like it was pretty as common as online dating is now and like the way we all like view online dating now like hell i met my husband on bumble and i feel like
that's a common tale these days like no one yeah it doesn't feel like it's like a a spicy detail anymore when you're like oh i'm at my i met my husband or i met my partner online you're just like oh yeah like everyone meets online these days we're in a [ __ ] pandemic how else are you going to meet people to be fair i married my husband several years before the pandemic so that's not why we met on bumble but we did still meet on a dating app i met my husband in rehab because we
were both working there well you were both working there but lest we forget that your husband thought you were a patient he did he did it was my first day and i didn't know where to go and he asked me who my therapist was and i was like i am one i am the therapist and he was like oh you're the new girl and that is how i met my husband what a love story i know it's really magical for everybody okay so you all met and it was magical and you weren't a patient because that would have been
a lot of ethical issues a lot of them yes correct yes so katya makes this profile and then it's like what does my life come to shuts her computer her roommate is like i'm going to be helpful and so she opens her computer and updates her dating profile to be like i love strip aerobics and pole dancing and like really makes her sound like more of a party girl i mean she is is any of that true is she in dystrophics no she wears a lot of chinos and donna karen chinos a 23 year old
girl wearing chinos and like white ivory cashmere sweaters is kind of like she's like very like buttoned up yes very buttoned up very conservative so this profile is not congruent with who she is as a human so liam sees her profile and he's like oh i live in their the her apartment building there there are two apartment buildings that are identical and she lives in one he lives in the other and he's seen her in the lobby and he's like holy [ __ ] that's my neighbor
and he's sitting there with his business partner richard stone who's like no wait richard richard mason is the business partner so he's sitting there with richard mason who he calls ricky throughout the book and he's like holy [ __ ] look at this girl look how hot she is and he's like yeah cool fine like whatever she's a hot girl like tell me if it's worth it i don't give a damn it doesn't yeah yes so liam then like waits until he sees katya in the lobby and like asks her out and
is like oh like i saw your dating profile and like honestly i probably like i thought you were cute but i wouldn't have asked you out before then because like you just kind of seem buttoned up with your like pearls and cardigans and she knows sure so then she's like what do you mean like don't underestimate me so like yes like let's go out on a date even though like at the same time she's like i don't do strip aerobics i could kill my roommate for updating my profile but then like every
time he's like yeah i wasn't gonna ask you out because like you don't seem like the kind of girl who's into the [ __ ] i'm into she's like don't underestimate me and so she agrees to go out with him and then when she's getting ready for the date her roommate is straight up like is that what you're wearing and she goes it's donna karen so like that's our energy yikes so she goes and meets liam in the lobby and he's like i own a club and so she's like okay like i'll go to
the i like i want to see your club and she's like is it like a book club is it like a dancing club is it like a discotheque like what's happening at this club and he's like i own a sex club oh my stars right and she's like and he's like is that is that too much for you and she's like don't underestimate me so i just want to i just want to be clear chelsea has some notes for this book open on the table right now in front of her and in all no no no you'll ruin it you can't get
there yet i can't well i'm already there you're already there but just get no one else okay well so they like she goes to the sex club with liam and then like pretty much every few minutes he's like we get it like you proved it like you're you're cooler than like i gave you credit for like you don't have to commit to this and she's like what do you mean commit to this i just like want to experience all these things and so then he's like showing her around his sex
club and they start like going at it in one of the booths and he's like why don't we go into my office and i can like have someone bring us drinks and she's like no i want to stay out on the floor here and so then she's like he's stripping her and he like pulls the partitions closed and the sex booth of the sex club also for the record they're only allowed it's a it's a multi-floor club it's two floors they're only allowed to bring one alcoholic beverage down from the upper floor so
there's only water served in the sex club so everyone can make appropriate decisions right which is is accurate yes it is accurate and i actually really appreciated that but like he pulls out he's like oh here's like my my bottle of tequila like i keep down here that's mine's like but like he does ask he's like so like how much have you had to drink like on a scale of one to ten how do you feel she's like four i'm like pleasantly tipsy and he's like okay so like you aren't gonna like
regret all of this tomorrow or like not remember any of it right well that's nice right so like there is like i'm like there is some consent conversations which i really appreciate we love consent we do love consent so they're going at it they bone in this booth and then like somehow her ass gets involved hold up hold up hold up hold up hold up i could have worded that better but i also could have worded it worse that's not an accident i mean so i feel like every
every girl who has hooked up with a guy in college has experienced them telling you that it's an accident it's not a [ __ ] accident so no but she like her like i forget if like he mentioned her ass or if like she mentioned her ass but like at some point they were like oh like that'd be like a future date and she's like you don't know unless you try and like so then suddenly this girl who's a prude and has she's like i've had sex with two men and sexual experiences with four men total in my
life um is getting railed in the ass by liam edenhoff the garden of eden at the sex club called the garden and that is what is in all caps in chelsea's notes it just says anal with an exclamation point in all caps in in all caps i felt like it was important and i needed to remember to mention it and it takes up like three lines of text like it's okay it's a dotted page it is not like three full lines it is three full lines those would be some small ass lines that would be smaller
than college print paper oh well then it's fine carry on it's like two and a half lines of college print that just says anal with a giant exclamation point okay so there is that so then like the next morning katya wakes up at liam's place and like they like went back to his place kept [ __ ] she is hungover still a little drunk whatever he like kisses her goodbye like it's like let's like we'll i'll see you when i see you kind of kind of energy right like let's do this again kiss kiss
bye yes yeah and so then like the next scene is kind of like the next few scenes are like katya kind of processing and like liam processings like tattoos kind of like talking to a roommate and being like oh like what what's am i into this like i can't believe like this is so out of character for me but i also was really into it so like is this really out of character for me do i need new clothes that aren't on a karen to represent who i am as a human and then like liam is talking to ricky
and like they're like how did the date go and liam's like yeah like i think i like want to see her again obviously one would hope right like well and there's also this whole dynamic where like he will keep making comments and she's like stop underestimating me but then like she'll like make slightly self-deprecating comments and he's like stop putting yourself down i'm like but also like you kind of keep unintentionally putting her down by like all of these assumptions you've made
about her as a human without conversation but that's you know a tangent i just like i don't know i felt kind of strongly about it when i was reading it because like there's really she's like stop underestimating me and he's like i couldn't believe how like effortlessly sexy she was but then like she'll make comments and then like so are you under are you only underestimating her sexually like i think that's what i was really trying to figure out but that's that's not
really gonna we aren't gonna do the full review on that thought process so then katya is telling her roommate about the sexual experience with liam over the phone while she's at work at the bakery sure that is the place to talk about having accidental anal in a sex club yes your first time having anal on like a kind of date with a stranger like it really just seemed like a dare more than a date so while she's working while katy is working the bakery like the
the door chime sounds and then in walks in her childhood neighbor woof woof rick stone rick stone nailed that [ __ ] you really did i'm really proud of you thank you i really appreciate that you're welcome so he walks in but it's kind of like he's like on his phone and not fully paying attention and like she sees him and it's like holy [ __ ] this is like my childhood neighbor who like i had a crush on like i used to like creep out my window when he was swimming in his
pool because i thought he was like the hot older guy and he's like six years older than her but like he's not fully engaged when he's there and then he's like oh like i like need to place an order and she's like cool well like we have a wait list so if it's like my like my waitlist is at least three months out and he's like wait what like well i guess our event is actually in five months so that's fine but like kind of seemed like surprised by that but like doesn't really acknowledge that
he knows her at all like she recognizes him and then it's like getting more and more frustrated because he's kind of being like flippant and dismissive so woof because that's his name wolf like they like place the order they leave and then his assistant walks back in with like a business card and it's like be here at 7pm and she's like what and like is this about the order and the assistant was like no this isn't about the cupcakes meet him here at 7pm and so she's like okay why wouldn't i
so um because of all the true crime documentaries that have ever been created that's why right i'm like i really she's a little too trusting yeah i don't think it's related to her donna care and apparel i don't know if they're not related though so that's what i'm considering fair point i'm sure it's no surprise she shows up to the bar at 7 pm to see him and like once again like he's like kind of engaged with her and it's like he'll like put his hand on her thigh but then
like he's like on his phone and like kind of looking around like seems bored when she's talking and like not really into the date honestly he's like loki a dick throughout the date but she's just like i could feel my panties getting wet like she's like they're just like this like tension building between us and i'm like really because like you it seems like he's like not that into it even though he's the one instigating all of this so it's a little bit confusing it sounds like some like low-key
gaslighting like a little like it's not i wouldn't say it's like bully romance at all but it's like definitely this like weird dichotomy where you're like he's just a dick to you why are you so into this so then he drives her home and just like drops her off and she's like okay well like what what the [ __ ] was that because she's like why are we here what are we doing and he's like well like this is most people would call this a date when they like eat food and she's like i
thought this was about a bakery order like you didn't even acknowledge that you knew me how was i supposed to know that this was a date so he like drops her off very quickly and then she's like telling her roommate about it and then suddenly there's a knock on her door and like woof is there and like kisses her and they're like okay let's go like how how awesome is that but then she's like oh no there's two guys what am i doing and so then the next day she's leaving her apartment and down in the
lobby liam is waiting there and liam has been waiting for her for a while because he never got her phone number whoops that feels like an oversight on his part so much so and then he's like let's go for tacos and he's like really into tacos like liam's whole energy he's obviously really into tacos among other things i see what you did there thank you thank you very much well so like here's like liam's energy throughout the entire book is like so we also find out he owns the
apartment buildings that they live in like they have worse they'd previously been owned by his aunt or someone and like they were like left to him and he is a twin brother or some [ __ ] his brother is a doctor and isn't in the picture well not until future books there is a book about his twin brother um so yeah like he like owns these buildings that he kind of like happened into then like had money then like he'd been working at the sex club then he wanted to own it so
he got like ricky to invest and so then he has a business partner but like his entire like energy the entire time is like 32 year old slacker surfer bro who just wants to eat tacos and get stoned every day like not really aspiring too much happens to have a ton of money because he inherited this and owns the sex club exactly right right right so liam asks her out for tacos and then wolf is like hey you're like we're going out again and like meet me on saturday and then she's
like oh no what do i do like i said yes to both of them in my head i'm like you could say no to one of them or you could say yes to both of them babe like you have not committed to either one exactly i'm like i really feel like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself you like if you don't want to to say yes to both of them don't and if you do don't put this pressure on yourself you don't owe either of them anything like you are in a relationship with either of them sure you had anal in the
sex club the first time you met liam you don't owe him a relationship you don't owe anyone anything so your wild oats babe like do your thing so while she's hanging out with liam on their like taco date she like says like hey like i'm seeing someone else like i just like wanted to let you know like it's it's super new we've only gone out like once we're going out again but like it's super new and then like he's like cool so what do you want to bone and she's like well like i like feel like
conflicted about this because there's this other guy and then he's like i'll keep it strictly vag you know the true gentleman that he is so thoughtful yeah he's like i'll keep a strictly badge like we don't need to go anal again i'm like so then it's fine what a generous offer but he seems like a generous lover to be totally honest right yeah yeah so she's like thanks but i i i think we'll pass this time so then she goes out on the date with with woof and like once again he's like he's kind
of a dick like it feels like he's like nugging her throughout this date like i'm kind of like what is this like passionate romantic tension between y'all that like you like he just kind of seems mean yeah but you also seem into it so live your life i am not here to judge people that's degradation kink you know what i'm saying like if you're into that you're into that but like that needs to be a conversation and i think that's like the thing about a lot of these books it's like it's not a full
conversation and they do even say like katya mentions in this book like later on she's like oh liam always like is hesitant to touch me and you like whenever like he's about to do something like he like makes eye contact with me like asking for permission and she's like wolf just kind of like takes what like he's like what is his and so yeah like there's like kind of that relationship and so like she mentions that like there's another guy as well that she's
been sleeping with because she's trying to be upfront with both of them and then honestly i don't really fully remember all of the details she he like makes a comment and then like she goes into the bathroom and then she's like i'm like i want him and i just i'm feeling the sexual tension with him so she takes off her panties in the bathroom okay yep and then she walks out of the bathroom and like hands him her panties and is like these are yours like i'm i'm
into this and so that's one way to do it but also it's it's like the restaurant in the ground floor of the office building he owns that his offices are in like getting there was very little effort for him not that it needs to be effort i just wanted to make note of that like he just went downstairs from his office yes but he tells like the gm of the restaurant like hey we need the room for 10 minutes for 10 minutes yeah i specifically remember noting for 10 minutes we need the room for 10
minutes i'm like well that's a little bit of an insult well yeah i'm like okay so so we've already established that apparently liam is a generous lover and wolf here is like give me a cool tin he's to his credit he's still generous just more efficient well when i think of hot sweaty sex i think of efficiency so well yeah because it's like a high intensity workout you get that heart rate up quickly we're into hiit thank you so then he's like all your like she like
had given her her panties and then she's like he's like all of your panties belong to me like you belong like just very like we're a thing now and like your mind whenever it is yeah like very very possessive wasn't like making comments like would would the other like would he have [ __ ] you on the table like making comments of that capacity where are you liam would have he owns a sex club like calm down wolf yes he would have thank you for asking but i don't think that's
the answer you wanted in this situation so you set yourself up for some disappointment ultimately so then liam gives after after this date i don't really remember exactly when in the timeline liam gives katya a key to the roof of her buildings that way like she can go up and like hang out in stargaze and like it's their place like no one else has access to it and so it's their special place for just the two of them to hang out and so she's like oh like how sweet and like wonderful is
this and then he's also like hey because it was in your bio i went ahead and did you a solid and signed you up for some for a strip aerobics class um candy with an i is the instructor and yes she did bone liam historically sure um because when she first moved to san fran um she frequented the sex club before she found out that stripping was her real passion in life good for her yes so now she's a strip aerobics instructor and liam has signed katya up for this class with his former lover with his
former lover but that's a bold move but like everyone is kind of liam's former lover is his energy good for him right like like their first date walking through the sex club like everyone was like eden how you doing man like why haven't you called me like everyone is knows him in a sexual capacity so after the like he also he doesn't attend the the class he's just i signed you up for this and then drops her off the class and he's like i'll pick you up afterwards
so after the strip aerobics class she's in the shower cleaning herself up because she's super sweaty and he like shows up in the women's locker room of course he does and then i'm sure we're all surprised to hear they bone in the shower i'm shocked by that there is shower sex underlined with an exploration point you're not allowed to see my notes anymore if you're gonna ruin the surprises forever you already said it i did you're right you did try and tell people about anal too soon i
did i'm sorry it won't happen again i just got excited so yes they have shower sex and like she's completely naked and then like he's like she's like haha it was so funny because his clothes were completely wet because his jeans were just around his ankles this whole time and then we took the city bus back to our apartments and i'm like hold up hold up hold up the jeans around the ankles just reminds me of a a male toddler using the bathroom like trying to pee
like that's not like around his ass i get you know like just low enough but around the ankles as well it was aggressive enough sex that they they shimmied down from his ass to his ankles they shimmied because of the zhuzh i get of the shower sex and the strip aerobics so yes like we kind of continue on this on this journey katy is like hanging out with woof and like they're going on like lunch dates and like having fun very proper in her donna karen yes and then like she's like
hanging out like bringing tacos to liam and like they have the other like they have their late nights she sure is bringing tacos to liam she is definitely well she's brought liam her her tacos twice are they carne asada fish oh my gosh she brought her fish tacos i hate this euphemism so much i'm so sorry also all i can think of is
like the intro to like colt 45. yes yes good morning ladies with the fish market okay so she like she katya brings brings liam tacos not her fish it's just like real tacos like actual taco actual tacos um to him at work and like and surprises him with with lunch and then like his business partner ricky's in the bathrooms like she still hasn't met ricky but like he's like oh like do you want to meet him and she's like oh no it's fine like i didn't mean to interrupt and
so they kind of leave and like cute dates continue like so liam is way more like the planner and wolf is way more of like the i'm just gonna show up at your place and be like why wouldn't we be hanging out like right i'm free you go with me so why wouldn't we be hanging out like she shows up at her house and like for like chinese takeout and like she gives them a manicure so there are these like really sweet date moments between them but i also feel like they weren't
highlighted and represented enough in the book so most of their interactions that we read about are all like he's kind of a little bit of a douche and like kind of an [ __ ] but then they're like more like these montagey interactions where you're like oh like i see where they're developing their friendship and their relationship well but it doesn't seem like the intention is to be sweet it seems like the intention is like the way you're describing it it's not that he's like you know what i
had some time and i was thinking about you so i picked up chinese so i could come over to your house it was like i'm free and kind of horny and was like obviously katie's gonna be free i think it's somewhere between the two like i don't think it's like a i'm i have nothing to do when i'm horny so why wouldn't i be doing this right i think it's like he does legitimately like her but just like the way he like processes and handles things and like you learn more about like he had a lot
of like familial pressures on him growing up and like his parents had a nasty divorce and he had to like help support his mom and like sisters and at one point in the book even says he's like they feel more like my daughters than my sisters because there's like a eight to ten year age difference between them like he was financially supporting them for a lot of this um but yeah so like it just kind of seems like he's it's more of like just like neighborhood and claim it and just more of like
yeah i want to see her so i'm going to show up and obviously we're going to hang out feels like more of the energy than like i'm horny and have nothing to do if that difference makes sense yeah it does yes it does so we like we go on this montage of like the she's she keeps hanging out with both of them i mean is she banging both of them well that's what does that say she has started to turn liam down and is like i feel weird like i don't really like think i like want to do anything else
with you i like i don't feel like ethically i feel like not comfortable with the both of you and like i i'm developing stronger feelings for him so i feel guilty like more of that sort of energy i'm i'm apparently team liam because i did not like that i could tell you're like you're like [ __ ] actually don't [ __ ] him that's the problem [ __ ] liam instead apparently yes so then like wolf and and katya have a date planned and like he has to work late so he's like texting he's like just
coming up to my office instead so like his assistant like lets her in then he like it's still like another hour or two and it's just more of this thing where like katya was like oh if he was gonna be late she's like i mean like i went when he said go but like i would have liked to go home if we weren't gonna but she's like yeah really likes him and it just kind of like goes with whatever he says and then in his like office and on the conference table in the
conference room somewhere in his office she like gives them a strip tease this night and then they like bone all over the office well good because she learned all of these skills from the strip aerobics class that liam signed her up for thanks liam right like he's really coming in clutch for her sexual experiences with another man he is coming in what a game but not her clutch not her clutch not her fish taco not her prison purse oh no that's what happens when you work in
community mental health too long you refer to a vagina as a prison purse sure do don't miss those days or those i'm smells telling that for what it is oh god you can't unsmell it you guys any of it so like she gives him the striptease and then like the next couple scenes it's like katya gets home and her roommate is there and like in the middle of the day and she realizes like her roommate is unemployed and like lost her job but has been like lying about it this whole time
and like felt bad and then katy's like oh my gosh like i'm such a shitty best friend and roommate cause i didn't even notice because i've been so like preoccupied with these bros so like let's drink let's have a great time let's like have a good night at night yes and then she's like oh can you bake me that cake and then katy is like no because the [ __ ] oven in our apartment is still broken and i keep running our management company and i've even mentioned it to liam and like
nothing's happening and she's just like annoyed that she can't bake her roommate a cake because she's a baker she's a professional baker with a waitlist who has reached so you go to your bakery dumbass honestly i was like you couldn't go pick something up this is literally what you do right like i feel like you could have been more resourceful than you chose to be but instead you just chose to like get [ __ ] faced with your roommate and that's also a fine life choice you you couldn't
have cake you had alcohol so like we say as sipping our bota box our dark malbec ripe rich and smooth nighthawk black argentina um bota box we are not sponsored by buddha box but it'd be a lot cooler if we were as we sit here and continue to drink from the box that also like y'all aren't here with us but we have this box like within like arm's reach so we can refill on the go as needed throughout our storytelling it is pretty uh vital to our storytelling at this juncture it really is like
like alcohol isn't a necessity but it does make this more fun by a lot especially if you listen to the master of salt and bones episode you needed a lot of alcohol you needed more alcohol than we had recording it precisely and i know that because halfway through recording it i went i wish i had another alcohol i wish i had another alcohol not another drink another alcohol i mean chelsea tomato tomato tomato tomato well done so very quick tangent very early on dating
my husband he had text me and was trying to say tomato tomato but because of the same smelling i just read the text as tomato tomato and then i was so confused like why did he just disney tomato tomato he was saying tomato tomato i get it now but yes if you ever see it in in print it never makes sense unless they add an h in the second one oh i have seen that that did help but if you just see tomato tomato no one reads that and it's like tomato tomato i knew what
they meant no you read it as tomato tomato and then you're confused so apparently it worked for him so right all right going back carrying um katya is getting [ __ ] faced with her roommate tori because tori lost her job so she's trying to make her feel better and she like calls wolf incessantly and he like he's like you better be like picks up like after like the seventh time he's like you better be dying like what the [ __ ] why do you keep calling me and she's trash and she's like i i miss
you and like i'm well i'm going to see my family and her family was like two hours away and carmel carmel carmel i don't know how they pronounce it in california i know different cities pronounce that city differently so carmel feels the most biblical which isn't really the vibe of this book and caramel feels the most delicious so so dealer's choice on how to proceed but she's like she's like you won't even see me for five days because i'm going home to see my family but she's like
trash when she's like calling him so then like the next day liam stops by her place and is just like checking on her and hanging out and she's packing frantically because she's like i need to i need to get ready i'm running late to to head back to my hometown i imagine she's a bit hungover yes um she's hungover and just kind of frantically doing all this she does ask liam to hire her best friend tori at the sex club because tori has a lot of hospitality experience
and if there's one thing that's really important at a sex club it is hospitality well also i'm just gonna say like she ends up thriving and loving her job there but what really made me laugh was she was like he was like well like i'll start her like upstairs like we don't start like on like the actual club floor like you started like the bar upstairs and then tori in the future is like please i was up there for five minutes but once it was clear like i have i'm
like a great waitress with a great rack and i'm like good with a till they move me downstairs and i'm like good with it i was like to hand out water what because that's all that's happening downstairs you don't need a waitress downstairs unless you're handing out water and condoms and lube which they have in each of the table booths so you shouldn't need a waitress for that right right unless i i mean could you could you order off the menu if you wanted a bug plug or something like what
i don't remember a menu in the book but that would be a great addition to the sex club and honestly tori thrives so much she ends up like becoming the gm so like if anyone created a menu that had butt plugs on it it would be tori bringing that to the table really creating her own job good for her yes we love tori she's a great hype woman she's a great best friend she has a future book plot twist it's the book about liam's twin yes and that one is a journey holy [ __ ] i
forgot all the like i'm pretty like there's like some human trafficking in that one it's a it's a journey we'll review that at a future date so then liam leaves katy is trying to get everything ready and then wolf suddenly like shows up at her door and it's like she's like i like i don't have time for this like i'm like i need to like get a car because i forgot to reserve a car for my two-hour drive and he's like you don't need a car i'm driving you and she's like what do you mean and he's
like no like i'm i'm going home to see my family as well so i told him i would drive you and she's like okay and like they get home and then like his mom has told katya's mom like yeah like he decided he was coming home after she announced that like she was visiting so like that's kind of sweet in its own right like there's not a lot of communication there but then like in the future she's like why did you like come come with me and he's like because five days is a long time and you're like oh
like there's like these like kind of sweet moments but the look on hannah's face is like these are not sweet and she's still very like it she's very clearly team liam i don't like it but like well and i think if i'm remembering correctly whoops mom isn't even in town the first night like he's like oh i'm gonna go home and visit my family but like she's not even like his mom's not even there yet so like katya and her mom were gonna go out to a nice dinner and he's like oh no
like that what that restaurant won't do i'm gonna like cancel like that reservation and give us a reservation at this place that's like way nicer and way better like the best place in town and like trying in his own right and then she like sees him swimming from her bedroom window and then it's like oh this is like all of my childhood fantasies when i was like watching him swim and thought he was super hot but
like he was 18 when i was 12. so like not a thing weird yeah so just like when it's a crush that kind of energy and so she's like yeah like all of this like all of my childhood dreams could be fulfilled here it's like she goes and joins him in the pool but there's just like a lot of like is it is it like this with the other guy like is he like this with you just in a way where you're like so it seemed like you were okay with there being two dudes but like the way you're acting
makes it feel like we're not actually okay with there being two dudes and then kashia's mom is so excited that she's home and because they live in like the very rich burbs stop reading my notes hannah i see you reading my notes and laughing we'll get there i don't even know which one you're reading i'm hiding my notes from you at this point hannah notes can no longer see my notes okay she's laughing at all of them they're amazing i might take pictures of them in the future
please do so we can post them on social media later because they're fantastic well so katya's mom decides to host a barbecue because they're very popular in their neighborhood and everyone is excited to be invited to this barbecue and because katy is home why wouldn't we so then like woof's mom helps host it because they're neighbors like people are going like between their yards but then katya gets like all kinds of jealous because she sees wolf like with his hand like with
his like arm around like this blonde girl and she's like who the [ __ ] is this hoe like not all about this life and then i'm like you have also been [ __ ] liam so let's keep this in perspective but she like is like i'm not about this like kind of keeps drinking and then decides to like go to bed early and then liam sneaks in through her bedroom window hmm it's very high school right and he's like oh like fulfilling all of your like high school fantasies kind of energy then like they bone
in her childhood bedroom which like is a weird energy to me yeah to be fair my parents have moved so often that was never an option for me to bone in my childhood bedroom but i don't think i'd be into it yeah right no so they bone and there's like she like she wakes up and she's like oh like he's not here and then like he was downstairs making coffee and like talk to her mom it's like her mom knows he slept over and then like awkward yes but it was also a big thing because he never
invites women to stay the night at his apartment he's only had one woman ever like stay the night and so katya never stays stays the night they never sleep together and so it was a really big deal because he stayed and slept over after he snuck into her childhood bedroom so she's like oh wow like what's happening here like this is really progressing and he like made coffee and talked to my mom and so on and so forth and then like they they're hanging out she's drinking her
coffee and she like tells wolf like that she has substantial feelings for him and it's like i'm like nervous because like i think i like actually really do like you and i don't really know what to do with that and he's like okay thanks for telling me and like it doesn't doesn't really reciprocate kind of as is his way and then they take a nap and they they like fall asleep and then when she wakes up he's sitting there and like clearly looks like he has some inner turmoil going on and
he's like i have a business deal in san francisco i have to go back and she's like oh okay oh yeah like no that that's fine like no problem and he's like i'll send a car for you she's like no like don't worry about it like i can get back myself and he's like i'll send a [ __ ] car for you that's what i said i was gonna do and she's like okay fine i'll take care of all my car or whatever um so like it kind of leaves awkward and clumsy between them he leaves
and then she just like doesn't hear from him and so she's like hanging out with her mom trying to stay busy they're like hanging out and baking and having fun she's like told her mom who's always been a more conservative woman that she's like seeing two men and her mom was like oddly like accepting of the idea and so then she's like oh well like maybe like i don't need to be as like uptight as i've always been and like i've put this on myself so she takes the car that he got back to
san francisco but like still doesn't really like doesn't hear from him there's no interaction or conversation between them then liam decides to be really sweet because he's liam and that's what he does and he takes like a kiddie pool and like brings it up on the roof and so then they can like sit up on the roof and like put their feet in the pool and hang out and have this great time hashtag team liam yes so like that's happening while oh if it's like ghosting her yeah
so has she tried to reach out to him at this point and he's just not responding yeah she definitely like gets trashed and like is very upset about all of this like he's not responding to her i'm sensing a pattern right and letting trash in reaching out to wool well twice but feels like a pattern one more time and it's a pattern and also for the length of a book i guess twice can still be a pattern so like she's like puking everywhere and like liam comforts her and is like the
sweet stand-up guy that like liam is and so um i want to make sure i'm not getting out of order here yes so then katya feels really bad that like liam took care of her while she was like puking crying over another dude so she like goes and was like talking with liam and liam's like i need to tell katya that i think i'm in love with her because like i'm gonna like shoot my shot i'm like i'm just gonna go for it and then like right as he's about to say it his business partner calls ricky calls and
like they get into a fight and so katy is like all right like i'm i'm kind of leaving like you have whatever conversation you need so then we moved to a scene where katya is at a wedding venue with one of her baking clients what are they called is there a more official name than that i don't know customers yeah like a customer who had hired katya to make her wedding cake and this is like a super affluent customer she and it's like a customer like you're rooting for for i think her name is
lauren she has like four kids and her husband had died and so she'd been like working alone and then met this man who had like obscene amounts of money and just like worships the [ __ ] out of her so like i don't know if they have a book i would totally read it if they did i'm like what uh what a fun little i'm like i'm really rooting for the side character here so they're at the venue talking about the cake and talking about like where it will go and all of those details
katya still has not heard from wolf through all of this so i'm sure we're all surprised that wolf walks in to this venue while she's working while she's working with some business associates and like they're doing their thing and she's doing hers and she sees him as like what in the actual [ __ ] oh my stars tell me because i think i know so she goes and is like hey can we like can we talk like it's like trying to engage with him and he's just like a straight up
dick the entire time is he the crew he's not the groom okay he i really thought he was gonna be the girl no i really thought he was gonna be there that would have been the oh my god oh no the coup de gras right no we are rooting for lauren the side character bride she is not with wolf but like he's a dick and like she's like you like what happened like where did you go and he's like i don't you want from me like i met your mother i was like i've been kind to you i drove you
home i let you [ __ ] some other guy while we like this whole like i let you yeah i let you [ __ ] some other guy like you were the doll girl next door like go so like essentially is like calling her like a naive [ __ ] for all of this and she's like naive [ __ ] feels like an oxymoron though you know and yet still applicable to katya because like she is very naive well if you guys can hear brandon he doesn't like the sound outside brandon is chelsea's yes brandon is my dog he
he hears some sort of sound that he is not chill with right now and keeps barking a little bit um so if you hear it sorry i don't he's he's going to town he thinks he's a lot bigger than he is as he sits here he also has an anxiety marking problem so he wears diapers so like i don't know watching a dog with a diaper bark at something doesn't really feel as intimidating as he's going for and to be fair he is larger than most pugs he has a bigger body he is a bigger bodied pug
i actually i actually remember thinking that when we went to pick him up and he was like the cutest little like chunk and i was a junk but i remember seeing his parents and being like oh they're like bigger pugs like he's not gonna be a dainty buddy he's gonna be a chunky boy and that's boy b-o-i-e-i-i-i it sure is right chunky boy yikes please don't ever do that again i can't guarantee i won't but i also didn't enjoy it when i did it so he's like i let you [ __ ] some other guy
you're like you were the dull girl next door like did you really think you were special did you think you were my girlfriend and she gets so pissed she takes the cake from the cake tasting and throws it at him good for her and then they get in a full cake fight in front of his like like he was there with some clients who were looking to buy this venue she's there with lauren and they're in a full-on cake fight so to be clear in chelsea's notes and says can't find underlined
with an exclamation point but i swear to christ i thought it said cockfight which is why i was laughing it was a flavor of the cake what was your wedding cake flavor coffee i have a lot of questions of what that flavor would be chicken ours our wedding cake was chocolate orange oh i like it i love chocolate orange i make a really excellent chocolate orange brownie actually oh i accept you did an offer just letting you know whenever the time presents itself i accept noted um so
yes there's this whole cake fight it like they get separated and then like wolf leaves and then like it does cut to a scene where wolf is like [ __ ] man that got really out of hand i feel really bad for all the [ __ ] i did but like what can i do now i'm like that's like very like this like self-deprecating tone where he's like i'm like bad news and i knew like she would ultimately leave me so like i needed to like make she deserves better yes like i need to like make her leave me before
before she left herself and then i was sad and alone so like i feel better about how this played out this way right ugh so um then she's like crying on on the roof afterwards and like liam comes up and like checks on her and is like yeah tori called me because your boss called your roommate because like the then you called your boss because you got an a cake fight in their venue big yikes right and so she's just sitting there and she's like he was so mean to me like i can't
believe these the things that he said like i'm i'm not gonna waste another thought on like on wolfrickstone that feels like a lie you are you are correct absolutely you are correct so like liam like doesn't really respond outside of just like sitting there and like being encouraging and like being supportive and then he asks her out on a date because he's like i like i really like you i know this is like a weird time i know this is a weird place i really think i could be good for you like
will you please give me a chance and so she says yes to going out on this date with liam even though like she's like i feel like i'm gonna be disappointed and i don't like it just wait you might still be disappointed but but we're just gonna prolong the disappointment and then also like her boss calls her and is like you work so hard and you've never taken a break so why don't you take a paid sabbatical for a little while because the cake fight indicates that you need a [ __ ] moment also
what a generous bakery i don't know if i've ever heard of like a baker getting a sabbatical i mean it is california you right the 23 year old baker working so i'm like yes she's she's put in so many years to this to she's worked she needs a sabbatical at 23 but that's just me being an [ __ ] so she goes on this date with liam i'm like bless it it's it's so painful to read because he's so sweet he cares so much like and she's just like not into it and like he like tries to like like kiss her at
one point and she's like like made me nauseous and just like is really like i'm like struggling and like is like i'm sorry like this this date isn't ending with a happy ending like this date is ending when we get back to our apartment and he's like the sweet angel baby he is and it's like super understanding and realistic about it so i'm really sad so she is like i need to just like go and sort my thoughts out and so she just like leaves the apartment building like hops on a
train and just like isn't really thinking and just like wanders and wanders and then gets off the train and walks and walks and then it's like i'm gonna burn it down i've never seen before luckily it's a very affluent part of town it's a very safe part of town but she like walks and is like at this park and there's a fountain and does she get in the fountain i don't remember she gets wet at some point and does she sure she does that she does um yeah but i like i don't remember if
she fell into the fountain or if she thought it looked nice so she stepped into the fountain to cool off whatever but so she's like in this park and just like lost to her thoughts and being like oh no what am i gonna do and then suddenly she hears someone like what the [ __ ] are you doing here and lo and behold like woof is there [ __ ] that guy right and so he's like what in the actual like why are you here like and she's like why are you here and he's like well this is where i live and she's
like i didn't [ __ ] know that because you never invited me to your apartment so like how would i know you lived on this side of town and then like he starts being kind of flirty and he's like just like come back to my apartment with me like we'll talk about this and he's like no i'm not going anywhere with you you dick and then like it like escalates and he's like no like you are coming back with me and so consent matters to everyone except wolf well but like he gets very like like no
you're gonna come home with me because i'm who you belong to like just this very like weird she well and like her dress got wet and so then he like gives her his dress shirt to put over it and then he's like very much just like i don't want anyone seeing what's mine and she's like what do you mean what's yours because like you told me i was a naive [ __ ] and the dull girl next door and threw cake at me and he's like yeah we were both at fault and like the
situation she's like i could have pissed on the floor of that venue and i would still be a less fault than for how you handled that situation good for her right and so then he's like [ __ ] this like throws her over his shoulder and it's like you're coming back to my apartment with me that's very caveman and we're not into it right but then like but as he's doing this he's making like there's this like tension this push and pull where he's like i'm like i'm no good for you i'm a bad man
and just like she's like what and so then they have a heart to heart and they like start to have some like real breakthrough conversations because she's realizing like oh no he just like did that to self-sabotage because he thinks he's not good for me and so like she's like very willing to just like readily accept him back and because he's definitely gonna be disappointed so well and so like when they were in the park he was like i have like a 8 a.m conference call
tomorrow morning i can't be out all night just come the [ __ ] home with me it's like they stay up late all night talking and like engaging like reconnecting and like really clearing the air between them and then when she wakes up he's there like walks in with coffee for her and she's like i thought you had a conference call and he's like no i'm where i need to be like this is more important and so they like have this very long reunion it's they decide that like they're together
and moving forward and so then i don't know if it's that day or the next day but at some point he's like hey like i gotta go i have a business meeting i need to make it to but like it's just like a investment i need to clear up and then i'll be back like this shouldn't take long it'll only be a couple hours cool cool he's like will you be here when i get home and she's like yep absolutely i'm not going anywhere and so then while he's gone she starts to feel really guilty about liam and so
she's like i need to go talk to liam and clear the air and just like explain and like not leave him out of no men's line like i owe him that some closure exactly for my poor sweet precious liam true and so katya it's like all right well i i can go to the garden and like have this conversation with with liam before wolf would even get back so i'm gonna go run and do that really fast oh no and is he at the garden yes it's not i don't i don't think this is where you think it's going though oh no
um this is about the part where if you don't want the ending of this book to be ruined for you you should probably stop listening now and just go experience it for yourself um but if you don't mind it being ruined i'm going to continue so she goes and katya gets down onto the basement level where his offices are and then she is through his office door she is like hearing a conversation and then realizes it's woof and liam in the same room talking and like being
like i got there first like talking about this competition like they were trading stories and so then you hear me like well fine like all if you don't tell her i will and so then like katie's like sitting outside the door like what the [ __ ] like trying to process what all has been happening and um liam calls her to be like because he'd been like if you don't tell her i will and so then her phone starts ringing and like they hear it and then she opens the door she's like i would have answered
but like i'm here and then she realized so um wolfrick stone goes under the name richard mason wolfrick ricky ricky stone mason yep we see and so they were business partners all along and that's terrible so when she dropped tacos off and his business partner was in the bathroom it was who was there knowing who she was and then she's realizing like they're like no it's like well no it started when it started it was just funny because like he saw you on the dating
site and then like we were kind of trading stories and then she's like oh she was like oh so i [ __ ] liam on the club floor and we had anal then the next day woof showed up to her bakery and like starts putting together all of these pieces and then she also finds out that um masonry management who's a subsidiary of one of wolf's companies is her property management company so then she's pissed that her oven still hasn't been this entire time jesus christ yes like
she runs out and is like i need to get the [ __ ] out of here and like they follow her and they're like we'll take you we're so sorry like like like as she's like so this is what you did like when you say it that way it sounds really bad so when i say what you did it sounds like yes but like and they're like well at some point like stop becoming a game and it like stopped becoming fun and we like both actually had feelings for you and like it became very real and she's like [ __ ] both of you
i'm not into this and then she's like i'm i'm out of here and so liam is like i'll take you home and the wolf is like i'll drive you and she's like both of you need to get the [ __ ] away from me i'm not going anywhere with you so then jan the bouncer shows up jam jan j hey n not jam but honestly that's an even better name so jan the bouncer shows up and he's like you all need to get the [ __ ] away from her wouldn't it be yawn if it's a man only if he's swedish
i've never thought about it of all of the details that is the least important i feel like you're getting caught up on the wrong details so yawn shows up and is like you all need to get the [ __ ] away from her and please tell me she ends up with yawn no she does not but liam's like i'm your boss and he's like i don't give a [ __ ] like you're a deplorable human being and if i see you talk to her again or like treat her like this like like i'm throwing bows or to quote
hannah you're gonna catch these hands i haven't heard you say it in a while so just need to bring it full circle thank you um it's like jan takes her home drops her off with her roommate she's still on the sabbatical from the bakery at this point isn't paid it is a page maker he sabbatical i'm in the wrong business right i definitely have underestimated the baking industry if i knew i got a paid sabbatical after a cake fight just saying not a [ __ ] fight they're
different and not a [ __ ] fight a cake fight so john drops her off with her roommate make sure she's okay and then katya like wakes up in the middle of the night and is like [ __ ] all this [ __ ] and so she like puts on all this makeup and puts on like these like [ __ ] clothes um or just more revealing than donna karen if you will which is really any clothes right that's a low bar right at one point she was like someone's like are you wearing that she's like it's j crew i'm like
girl have some self-respect no offense to j.crew or donna karen you all do great work for more specific audiences we don't live like i'm currently wearing an alice cooper t-shirt where he is biting the head off a bird and has blood dripping out of his mouth so donna karen is not my aesthetic in all fairness no it is not so she takes these like new sexy photos and then uploads them and reactivates her arrows dating profile good for her and is like i'm taking control of my life and then
her roommate walks out i was like everything okay she's like yeah let's go back to bed and that's how the book ends on that cliffhanger are you [ __ ] kidding me i am not [ __ ] kidding you that is the end of neighbors i hate that when will you stop recording will you please tell me who she ends up with i will thank you yes i will i will tell you or i could just review the second book which i think is called neighborhood there's neighbors neighborhood um there's four so the first two are
clearing up this whole love triangle um and then the third book is about the one she doesn't end up with and like their new love connection okay who is woof's assistant is the main like interesting interest in that one and then the fourth book is about liam's twin and the roommate tori cool with the human trafficking or whatever the [ __ ] happens drug running i don't fully remember something of that capacity that's a that's a review for a future time so yes
that is the cliffhanger of neighbors i can't believe you just did that the ultimate love triangle that honestly doesn't really feel like a love triangle like it's that's why i said it's kind of love triangle and it's kind of not because there are two dudes involved but she's clearly like leaning towards woof the entire time it's like oh like there's a connection there like she views like liam as more of a best friend yeah i hate that but then ultimately both of them betrayed her
yes they did but like when you start to think through like the conversation where liam was like i knew like she'd like ultimately leave me and i was or like the conversation with wolf where he was like i knew like she'd ultimately leave me and like was i'm no good for her so i just wanted to pull the plug before she could and like that whole conversation and energy because then she's like no like i like i won't leave you i'll fight for you and then like all this [ __ ] happens and then
i'm like oh damn girl you played yourself she did she did so yeah we'll have to review the next book at a future date and time if i'm being completely honest i feel like the second book could have been a novella instead of like a full book um so there is that where i was kind of like cool this didn't the second book feels like messier yeah like we didn't have to do so much yes exactly yeah but um so yes it starts with a dating profile where she's wearing her
very conservative clothing and ends up having anal in a sex club and then it ends with her finding out two dudes have been playing her this entire time who are both super into her but neither of them have been honest and into her in different ways clearly yes like they have she has a very different relationship with liam than she has for sure and i think that's a hard thing is like oh it's not it's not the same relationship but like liam is just like very lovable
yeah and wolf is very like hard yeah but then also like the entire book kind of feels like it's leaning towards like she's like oh i just have this like innate connection with wolf yes that's how you say it wolf yes so she has like this full relationship with him but like when like so and i forgot to mention when she's overhearing her conversation liam is like i saw her first and woof is like she was my neighbor in childhood so technically you didn't and then when her
phone starts ringing like she opens the door and she's like technically wolf is right we've been neighbors since i was five so he has he would have dibs like just this like really like shitty like like yes i don't i don't like that like i don't know like women are not for dibs dude like i once had a dude i like had all right i had this ex-boyfriend we we broke up and then like stayed in that like weird best friendship where like we weren't dating but then like no one else
could date either of us because we were still always together but we weren't a couple and so at one point someone had been like oh yeah well like you and whoever and i was like i don't like we are nothing anymore they're like what you're not and i'm like no and this fool literally went dibs to my face i was like that is not how this works if you are interested that is not how we communicate that you guys did like no consent matters consent matters you can't just call dibs
i didn't think i had to say that out loud in 2022. jesus christ if ever there was a time you needed to say it out loud it probably is 20 22.
oh god am i laughing or crying oh that's fair so unfortunately this i feel like this one ended with a little bit more of a downer in this cliffhanger um but we can circle back in the future if you guys would like to know what happens if you're like no everyone in this book sucks i'm also not offended and we don't have to we don't have to venture back here yeah your feedback matters let us know guys your feedback matters your feelings matter you matter so on that note we love you
thanks for listening um i guess really fast we didn't we didn't rate this one oh so how many cupcakes what flavor are the cupcakes oh no in the book they were angel food cupcakes well i was going to say what are [ __ ] flavored okay i'm going to rate this book six and a half out of ten no not and a half i take back my half six six out of ten [ __ ] flavored cupcakes a solid sixty percent what kind of frosting oh like what kind of what kind of frosting goes with [ __ ] cream cheese
i hated everything about that holy [ __ ] i hate you right now chocolate frosting is ever better there's no wind here you wrote anal with an underline and an exclamation point it can't be chocolate frozen um it also yeah you know it can't be a lot of things it can't be vanilla for obvious reasons but do we want cream cheese no so what we don't have vanilla or chocolate or cream cheese strawberry maybe a nice meringue we just put a meringue on top we'll go with the meringue tell me about
the [ __ ] flavored cupcakes with meringue it's six out of ten is it i'm so ready to be done with five and a half five and a half [ __ ] flavored cupcakes with mares yo my cheeks hurt so bad i can't and on that note we love you thank you for being here thank you for joining us for this um what what frosting flavor would you choose we love you guys so much thank you and good night good night