foreign hello All You Beautiful People you know what time it is ladies and gentlemen Guys and Dolls and everyone in between gather round something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on cause it's time for smut Club here's your hosts Chelsea and Anna [Music] it's a really good theme song it is I love it Advanced it a wonderful job making that animal well hello everyone and welcome to smut Club I'm Hannah and I'm Chelsea I I paused like I I would pause because
I was distracted it's still my name is it that's good I was like and I'm oh no wait this isn't something that's going to change it's I'm Chelsea um and if you hear the little click clack on the ground or the heavy breathing that is Brandon the pug who we also love um but listening to him review a book would it would be a different sort of podcast it oh I I'm not like a huge ASMR person me either I don't get it and is that like is that the sort of thing where it's kind of
like cilantro where either like you [ __ ] with cilantro or you don't [ __ ] with cilantro is that like how is that what ASMR is where people are like hell yeah I want to listen to people click their nails and Whisper no I don't I don't like that in fact it makes me deeply uncomfortable like certain certain ones I'm like like I physically cringe I'm like is this my mesophonia or is this genuinely like weird and gross you're what so mesophonia is a thing where certain
sounds like it's it's like an anxiety thing where certain sounds make me like physically like I like cringe and curl up like the sound of a fork on somebody's teeth makes me one of them yes okay very specific sound Sister Act 2. go with me on this I realize this is already pivoting so Sister Act 2 like the whole movie no no no no no okay that movie slaps but the um the scene where Whoopi Goldberg is trying to get her classes attention when they're all like acting
and like her nails on a chalkboard even as a kid every time like I've seen that movie more times than I can count but every time I knew that seems I'd like be plugging my ears because the sound now mind you I won I don't think I've ever ever actually heard that word before um but two I definitely I get a lot of like sensory overload like I I realized I'm a highly sensitive person like if you've ever read a book about that like you know you know what it is for people
who are not in the therapy space um yes I realized I'm like a highly sensitive person and so I get sensory overload very easily so I've always kind of equated it or thought of it through that lens versus like there's like specific sounds but yeah I'm like you don't know I can't do that sound yeah I'll definitely get over stimulated but there are also certain sounds that just irritate me like I people love guided meditations right YouTube whatever different apps
I cannot stand like I have like two people that I can listen to because everybody else is so [ __ ] breathy that I can't listen to it I'm like why are you trying to weirdly seduce me right now this is gross I don't like it so when I did my yoga teacher training I did like the Intensive one where it was like three weeks Monday through Friday 6 30 a.m to 8 30 P.M um but from 7 P.M to 8 P.M each night was like our meditation thing like portion where we'd like try different
types of meditation like some were guided it's not like some like binaural beats like all of those different things like we would do a walking meditation but girl I'm like we have done at least four hours of yoga today on top of all of the other like educational things and now you are asking me to end my day laying on the ground listening to a meditation and you expect me not to fall asleep setting you up for failure they really were and I honestly didn't give a [ __ ] I
was like what are you gonna do are you gonna kick me out of school because I I was like if anything I'm taking what my body needs so I understand that I passed this portion really all this to say Brandon won't be doing a book review so we got a little off the rails thank you for coming on that Journey with us so Chelsea tell me what are we reviewing today well what are you reviewing because I'm not doing it oh Lord okay so today we are reviewing Desperate Measures bye
bye oh I didn't know we were doing a bum oh I didn't know Desperate Measures by Katie Robert there we go um Katie is with two e's not an ie because she fancy like that because they fancy like that didn't she also write neon gods written a lot I'm actually not probably maybe I'll have to look it up later um I had been watching a tick tock where someone was like talking about the most sex per page kind of like book that they'd read and it was um a book by her not this one I want to
say it was called like gifting my gifting you to my best friend I don't know something where the title you're like I see where we're going right I don't even need to read it because I I got it from there yeah you're like there's not going to be a lot of plot here nope and quite frankly plot's not what you're looking for there right that's not why you pick up a book with a title like that yeah that's like reading anything by Nikki Sloan and being like I'm here for the plot yeah I
know you right right we don't have to lie to ourselves we can be honest that's true yeah and I've read a lot of Nikki slum which is fair well one Series has a decent amount of plot does it though I don't know okay tell me does desperate measures have a plot um it Loosely has a plot so this is like the whole like Disney villains right um okay this is the first book in like the Disney villains where like this one is Jasmine and Jafar the next book is um like Hades and Meg and Hercules okay okay
I think they're like seven books in the series and I'm pretty sure you can choose your own adventure like I they are standalones you meet some of the characters what whatever right I've read Desperate Measures and I'm halfway through the second one but like it just the second one like you know those books that you're like it's just like my mood like I will I would read this in another time but like what I'm looking for today is not this yes yes so one of those okay
so this is the love story of Jasmine and Jafar um if consensual non-consent makes you feel uncomfy you're gonna be a bit uncomfy today fair if like baby girl daddy makes you uncomfy you will also be uncomfy today um I know we've talked about this several times on the show but I like they say daddy so much in this book that like I always think about when I looked at my husband and I was like would you want me to call you Daddy and he was like could you say it with
conviction I was like I don't think I could especially now like having a having a baby I was like trying to hand Ford off to Vance and I was like I was like do you want to see your daddy and Vance was like it's still me he's like I know it's not sexual at all he's like it makes me a little uncomfortable I still know I was like what would you like our child to call you he's like pops dad I was like oh you know straightforward classic option but yeah there have been a few times where like
say like Daddy and I'm like yeah yeah like not for me am I more likely likely y'all I'm only like three sips of wine in it is also worth noting um Hannah and I are drinking red wine but didn't want to get wine teeth so we are drinking it through straws they're comically large we have like those big like silicone smoothie straws in our wine glasses but it's working so there's that it works for me sorry [Laughter] so all right um we open on this book meeting Jasmine
we switch points of view a few times but like it doesn't really matter nothing really matters yeah in life you know let's just get existential for a second so like yeah I was like taking notes on this book and I was like do I even need notes for this book let's see how kind of far we get so Jasmine is in her room in her dad's Palace Mansion um and like it's very much a gilded cage she's never actually been she's like 25 years old has never been off property um
but it's like very smart right and her dad has betrothed her in a business deal to Ali right you see AKA Aladdin Aladdin yes right this is an arranged marriage situation yes and Aladdin is not the hero of this book um so you know we're like I don't know that he was really the hero of the movie If we're honest but we'll get into the the we can get into the details of Disney's problematic history later or never there's like as a kid you were just not aware of
any of those nope things at all okay so she's in her room she knows that like she's like being sold off essentially as part of this like business deal and she's not about it and she hears her bedroom door open and she has like I don't know like a letter opener or some [ __ ] in her hand that she's like whoever came into my room it's Jafar it's not Ali and in this is Jafar still her dad's like main advisor I'll tell you in three seconds oh okay my bad my bad you're getting ahead of me
Hannah sorry not really it's all once again does does any of it matter yeah so Jafar was her dad's top advisor and Jafar essentially just came in and was like everything is mine now your father is no longer in play I've dethroned your father this is my territory everything in this territory is mine you are mine it's a bold move bold move Jafar bold move and she's like Okay so can I just leave and um would you mind giving me my trust fund to my right and he's like run and if you make
it to the door before I catch you you're free to go and she's like do I want that I don't want that but then like there's like a narrator voice being like she does want that like it's pretty much how like the whole like consensual non-consent is written out throughout this book it's like her being like I don't want this and then in her head she's like yes I do it's like oh they kind of write it this whole time um yeah and so she's like okay so like what if you get like what if you catch
me before I make the door he's like then you're mine body and soul and she's like so I either get to go completely free with my trust fund or you own me right cool right I wish I wish we had more background because this for me is like damn Jafar like do you even know her do you even like her like is this just a new thing for you like we have a little bit of background that comes out throughout the book we're like he's worked for her dad for five years and like
they've always kind of like looked at each other across the room and like had that like sexual tension but like nothing had ever happened right we will find out far later once again I'm deciding it doesn't matter I'm keeping no secrets this book's a [ __ ] show um like we find out later that like he had been working towards like taking like betraying her dad and taking everything over but then when her dad sold her off to Ali it like moved up jafar's timeline so that way like
he could keep her safe got it yes got it so he's like you have to count a ten so she like takes off to the front door guess what Hannah does she make it she doesn't she doesn't make it to the front door and this is very much he like tackles her on the tile floor in the foyer of the mansion and she's like I don't want this I was like and he's like are you sure you don't want this because you're like pussy's dripping like right it's just like that's most of the book is her being
like I don't want this and he's like your body tells me otherwise let me put some fingers up there and tell you that you're lying [Laughter] so yeah so I have worked in a lot of different places in mental health treatment okay okay follow me going on this journey I need my silicone ones you do so I thought of this I'm not exactly sure why but um at one of the places I was working there was an incident where we knew that two patients had engaged in sexual activity
it's not that rare but also not great so our risk manager pipes up in our treatment team meeting where we're discussing what needs to be done and she starts talking about the incident report and how we need to make sure that we have one for digital penetration and that's all I could think of when you just said that I don't know why it's never happened previously on the podcast where I've thought that when you've said it but all I could think of was her going
digital penetration before nine o'clock in the morning every time he's a digital penetration in my head I just go digital digital get down which really makes me think about in sync a little differently um yeah I see you processing right now in a way that you're like oh [ __ ] I didn't like that okay so essentially jofar plows her on the foyer floor um and we're back yeah and we're back and but like she's like we both know what did she say like we both know I can't make you stop I won't make you
stop um and then like when when all said and done he's like let's not pretend you weren't into it you were and we're gonna do that again we're gonna do that a lot like you made your choice you didn't make it to the front door you're mine now but we also learned her they have a safe word it seems like we entered the book with them already having a safe word but I don't fully get like where the safe word like came from the safe word is Raja the tiger yeah which also I had a cat
named George based off of who I loved and like it was truly a a parent's blind love because I thought that cat was the most beautiful cat in the world and now I look back at photos and I was like everyone was right she was a little ratchet looking oh well she was a Devon Rex which is the breed of Craig um our our current cat and so like looked like we gave her a shitty haircut but which is like naturally like that but like produced a lot of body oil and would just kind of leave like a belly oil
trail and this is all I could think of every time they'd say they're [ __ ] safe was it belly oil was a belly oiled Devon Rex cat named Raja yeah um also maybe not my best helmet I may have told you this story before so when I moved from Florida to Texas for grad school I couldn't take my cat with me like Russia had been purchased as the family cat but was very much mine so stayed with my parents and the thought was like yeah when I'm done went in grad school for a few years I'll take her
back well my parents became the primary Caregivers for my great-grandmother who was like 98 years old at the time passed away at 100.
I don't know how old she was at the time anyway um my cat hated my great-grandmother like didn't hate a soul it was just like a normal cat who wanted to cuddle except for my great-grandmother would like bite her but like old people's skin is like so thin yeah and my parents were like Chelsea we have to get rid of the cat she keeps biting your great-grandmother and I said keep the one that will live longer laughs the comment was not well received no um I know we're all very surprised it
was not my best moment I was really sad but then my parents like we'll get you a new cat when you finish grad school and that's how I actually got Craig oh I wonder whatever happened to Raja I don't know she became a safe word her spirit lives on in Desperate Measures oh gosh if that's her spirit I have bigger questions okay so anyway yeah so they like have the safe word that like is Raja we it I'm like where like we never really know where the uh maybe I missed it but it felt like they
were just like oh yeah we have this word let we both knew but I'm like where did it come from anyway so like Jafar loads her up it's like we're going to my penthouse and like bless him he's not a good man but he is like oh like as they're walking to the penthouse he's like oh I took her she doesn't even have shoes on I'm going to pick her up and carry her into the penthouse because I'm not like a total [ __ ] but also on the way there he's like so like are you on birth control and like
you didn't think to ask that before you tackled her in the house and just like had your way with her like yes yes um and then he's also kind of like she could have made it stop with one word and she didn't like at no point is she using her safe word and I want to be very clear about that is like throughout this entire book it like it truly is like consensual non-consent from that vantage point of like she has an out that she knows is there that they keep coming back to and like she's aware that
she's not taking her her true out if she wanted it right and she trusts that he would stop if she used it yes right well because I guess like he like said something one time a long time ago like before the book start where it was like she used the word and he like backed off immediately like whatever he'd been saying so like we do trust that he would actually respect and honor her safe word um yeah so then he's like all right well I gotta go out I gotta do some business
um she's like I don't have any clothes here he's like you can earn your clothes and then he's like and I would like you to be kneeling and naked at the front door when I get back when are you getting back who can say just be there that's a no for me yeah I know so yeah it's a no for Jasmine as well if we're being honest yeah because he leaves and she's like [ __ ] that noise I'm gonna go Snoop so go snooping finds his home office and in his home office is like trying to
guess his computer password and like a little green light pops on and she's like oh like there's like a camera that turned on and she's still trying to guess his computer password and isn't getting it right and the office phone rings and it's Jafar and he's like so what are you doing in there and what will I find on the video when I check it and she's like oh it's not like a live stream he can't see me so then she just like masturbates while on the phone with him
and like comes and then like hangs up like what we got from six to midnight real quick yes yes what okay yeah he's like good for her and she's like let me back up and she's like and I stuck my fingers in my [ __ ] and I'm like so many fingers in your [ __ ] and that's hold on and then after that she's like all right well still not gonna go to the door and kneel so I'm gonna go to my bedroom and lock the door and go to sleep but like also I was kind of like thinking she's like oh
wake up she she wakes up to Jafar like breaking into her bedroom where he's like you were not where you were supposed to be um so this is like a weird Master Slave brat thing he does call her brat a lot yeah like I I wouldn't say full like Master Slave which is the kneeling at the door is Master Slave vibes I think he's really looking for a submissive in a but then it's also like I don't know we'll get into it like later in the book where it's like like he is trying to keep her in the
penthouse to keep her safe and he's like yeah like she's not gonna have to stay there forever but in her head she's like I've just traded one cage for another right um so is she on birth control oh yeah okay no so she I just realized we never answered that would it matter though probably not probably it was more for me the fact that I'm like you didn't you didn't check proactively right whatever this whole book so he tells her that like someone's gonna be coming the next day
to outfit her in some clothes then they're going out the next night and she's like I don't want to and he's like I don't really care what you want and she's like give me my trust fund and let me go he's like if you want your trust fund like he's like if you really want to go prove it say say your word say it like you don't have to stay oh so that so he's like the word is not just for sexy times the word is for all of this say it now yeah okay okay I'm not keeping you here I'm not holding this
money over your head you have to say one but I'm also like okay what would you would you have actually like I think like sexually he would have respected the word but I honestly don't know if he would respect the word if she was like I I want to actually leave right but it's presented as though he's like okay if you really want to go you have it out right you haven't used it that's on you so the next day The Stylist arrives we meet Tink The Stylist yeah there's tank will meet hook later oh
oh yeah there they cover a lot of different so do Tink and hook get it on in a later book they're like seven [ __ ] books Anna probably I'm gonna have to look it up I I don't know if I can commit to reading all seven of these well I would probably pick and choose like I would probably read a tank and hook one and then I would just see what the other ones were and if I was into it I would read it that's fair instead of trying to roll straight through well and so like Tink
works for she's a stylist but like she's affiliated with the underworld that's like the sex club that's run by Haiti so she's kind of like giving these details of like that's where you're going tonight as like this sex club and like if you really like is trying to help out Jasmine and she's like if you really want out you could like make a deal with Hades but like that's probably like last last case right what am I trying to say like maybe don't do that worst case scenario worst
case scenario not last case scenario I'm like I think the word isn't there on the tip of my tongue um but then Jasmine's like okay like thanks also I noticed you only brought me a couple of like really [ __ ] dresses is there any underwear is there any jeans and things like I brought what was ordered like I don't yeah so we switched to jafar's perspective really fast and I just wouldn't touch it again I just hit the mic stand with my hand and it bounced and I'm not touching it anymore
we have a new setup this season and it it involves more body awareness to not hit the mic we're adjusting we're adjusting so I apologize if they're like loud noises that you're like what the [ __ ] was that um it's us trying our best square that leaves us so I need a silicone wine straw Break um do you have any questions about the book so far what are your thoughts so my thoughts uh interesting premise I like the premise right yeah it's a cool premise um a little confused about it I mean we
just we just escalated real quick just right off the rip yeah we did without a lot of context which again if you're in the mood for could be great um and I am thinking that Katie Robert did write neon Gods which was also a Hades spoof that makes sense but it wasn't Hades and Meg and Hercules it was like different was it all of the furies no it was Hades and then this girl he he's like a like a crime Lord essentially um everybody hates him but he's into like a lot of voyeurism you know
seems like the man had been into voyeurism I'm looking up neon gods I might need to add it to my list or do I need to add it to my list I did enjoy it I haven't read the second one it is Katie Robert yeah I haven't read the second one but it sounds like there's a similar theme because in um neon gods they're very clear about they have a written agreement before they enter into this relationship they have like a clear understanding of where everybody's lines
are safe words all of that stuff which I really appreciated because in a lot of these books with like non-con and like dubious consent and all that other stuff like it's never really just yeah it's not like in a way that you're like there's really no clear boundaries just like gross and really uncomfortable yes but with the way that she wrote neon gods and it sounds like sort of in the way she wrote this one it was like oh so this is maybe not like you know the the
Pinnacle example of how we engage in a healthy BDSM Dynamic but at least it's closer than most of the other yeah stuff out there you know so I appreciate that yeah it's like you know it's a weird thing when you like read this much month that you're like oh I really appreciate them like writing and like like consent consent yes we love consent we do and I do agree I think there's like a lot of books where they're like this is so hot and I'm like this is like setting you up for failure
and like absolutely setting you up where it's like oh that was never a boundary was never clearly like outlined or discussed and now it feels icky um okay so we switched to jafar's perspective real quick we learned that like Ali is in the wind uh oh jafar's men are like trying to find him trying to capture him he is not to be found so jafar's like gotta keep her locked up like gotta keep jasmine safe until we can find Aladdin um because Aladdin does is not pure in
his intentions sure Jafar is though so we can respect that you get it yeah Jafar is a true gentleman here um so like he gets back to his place and Jasmine is swimming naked because you know she doesn't have swimsuits because right he didn't order those before we do what we have to like just this is neither here nor there but because he was like yeah and she was like cutting through the water and like really like booking it in the pool and I'm kind of like if your titties aren't in a swimsuit
right flat in the wind yeah if they're just water if they're just flapping in the water how much does that slow you down I would imagine a bit it makes you less water Dynamic not aerodynamic right yes and I think it also depends on what sort what you're working with like for some people it may be kind of a non-issue for others of us we'd be getting a black eye do you remember it was like my this was one of my favorite jokes as a child and now I'm looking back no that's
the right look on your face Hannah so it was like a blonde to brunette and a redhead like when like blonde jokes were like yeah Peak comedy right and talking about how there was this like swimming competition down this River or whatever and it was like a breaststroke competition and so everyone's lined up they they start going and down at the Finish Line like everyone is coming through and they're like man it has been like an hour and like the blonde like still isn't here
like the redhead has made it the brunette has made it yeah and then when the blonde gets there at the end and they're like what took you song she's like well I don't wanna I don't want to start [ __ ] but also I don't think that's how I communicate with this joke as a child right um but like I don't think the other swimmers were using their breasts was my favorite joke as a child oh I think we just learned a lot about me I think I just learned a lot about I gained a lot of insight and a lot of
things make sense now between that and the cat yeah yeah yeah we're learning so much okay um so Jasmine is swimming her breasts are making her less water Dynamic I don't know the right word for It Whatever Jafar is watching her um nothing really important happens in this scene at all except at one point she's like you're so bossy I should call you Daddy and like I'm like oh I'm watching a kink be born right like this is where this originated is that like she like calls
him daddy like jokingly once or twice and she's like maybe I like that am I into that yes yeah there's also a lot of like good girl which we were talking earlier about like and I know we've we posted it on our Instagram story but like the Russ book talk yep where like I just keep thinking of every time Jafar says good girl in this book I just hear it and Russ's singing voice with Russ's aggressively sexual thirst trap tick tocks right good for him man yeah carry on
but he has another song called handsomer where he says I'm five six but the money make me six five and I'm like is he actually five six I'm gonna have to look that up oh it's such a good yeah it's I'm I know I mean how tall is but the money make me six five she said I love your songs I told her to list five I like that yeah I mean I'm gonna look up the song but it's called handsomer how tall is Russ yeah we need to know how tall Russ is this is very important
um he's a cool five five he gave himself an extra inch oh no he gave himself an extra inch y'all that means he is about an inch taller than me which means he is two inches shorter than me bless his heart you know it doesn't seem to be stopping him I mean no judgment good for you bro like we're already like you're doing great he really is we love a Shortcake energy so all right in the car to on the way to the underworld that night Jasmine's wearing one of them
[ __ ] dresses where like they're like the front went down between her blow between her boobs and the back went down even lower than that and there were slits on both sides that like went all the way up to her hip bone and I'm like so she's one strong Breeze away from like full nude yes yeah no one really seems upset about including her so on the drive there they do confirm that like Jafar killed her dad didn't just like knock him out of power but like he did
um and then he tells her that like at the underworld she needs to be like silent and obedient and like eyes towards to the ground and we also are starting to realize like yeah Jasmine has never been in the real world at all like right she has never been anywhere outside of like her family grounds and property outside of this Penthouse that belongs to Jafar so like she starts to have some anxiety throughout the night and he does he actually like is very sweet about managing it um
but yeah when he's like you need to be obedient and silent and she's like what do I get if I do and he's like I'll take care of that pretty [ __ ] tonight like you were gonna do that anyway like don't make that out to be good really you were gonna do that anyway I'm like really okay you're just doing what you're gonna already do but we're just re-labeling it yeah got it um and then then he's like what do you want as a reward if you obey and she's like I want
it like it was before like I want you to force me and I put quotes on it but I like lick my [ __ ] daddy make me come and I'm like I wish that you hadn't and then he goes down on her he gives her a [ __ ] you previous episodes if you had like context for that joke for me everybody gets a [ __ ] he goes down on her in the limo so they get to the underworld she's a little bit nervous um and that's where we also meet Meg Megara one of Haiti's Furies his favorite of the furies I would say Obviously
um and Meg is like she is exquisite like look at you go Jafar you want to share and he's like if she's into it um and then when like Meg walks away Jasmine's like you told her you'd share me and he's like yeah you really don't seem that upset but like okay like Whispers a lot of dirty [ __ ] in her ear and it's just kind of like not saying anything that you don't want like right like calling her Bluff essentially yes like this whole book really I'm and I'm
giving way more detail than it is needed for as much as is actually happening Hades meets Jasmine that happens um they go to like the main Lounge area where like everyone's out in the open and like a lot of business talk is happening and like Jasmine is realizing like oh part of her being here is like Jafar to show like the power that like he has taken over her father is no longer in play and she's there with him and like kind of like being used as a pawn a little bit
but she's also like I get that appearances matter and like I'll be like you're a good girl okay baby girl good girl Daddy not none of it matters so they're sitting in the main club room and um she's sitting on his lap like and he is fingering her and then hook walks up and like Jafar is having a completely like normal business conversation with hook well engaging in digital penetration yeah while engaging in digital digital get down that's it from now on that's it you you see um and then
like jafar's like what do you like what do you think of that business exchange like after hook walks away and she has come all over his fingers or whatever the [ __ ] happened and she's like oh I think he's nervous that like you're gonna like make a play for his territory in jafar's like oh like you're pretty perceptive of business for someone who who is engaging in the digital digital get down during that whole conversation um wait what else did I even oh oh I skipped a whole none of it no
sitting in the mid Club room she's on his lap he's rubbing her leg and under boob she spreads her legs to give him more access he says Wicked girl maybe I should just blindfold you and put you in a spreader bar then let everyone take turns eating your [ __ ] until you're begging for mercy and then we meet hook I apologize that I really got this plot out of order honestly I don't know how we could have moved forward with the review without that context it made all of the difference it did the
book would have made no sense no if we didn't have Jafar saying he was going to put her in a spreader bar there's a lot of like next time I'll let everyone take a turn um the only person who gets a turn outside of him later in this book is Meg like I was gonna say knowing full well he's never going to share her with another man that's never gonna happen I don't know well there's seven books in the series maybe they'll make a reappearance who can say um so then he like realizes that she was
perceptive in that conversation and he's like you were like such a good girl what do you want as your reward and she's like make me Daddy Hannah it's then like two or three chapters like 20 Pages worth of just like sex like one of those where it's like is this scene over and then it's like no it's not yeah it's like they're like [ __ ] around yeah and then he's like wait hold on and then like Tink shows up there's there's a whole costume change she's then like dressed as a school girl
they moved to a different room and the sex club Playhouse called the underworld like that's an office then they're like playing out some of their fantasies of when like he used to see her walking around when he was there doing business with her dad and like it's I'm like I just had to take a moment to look it up because it was like hearing you describe it I was like wait a minute was neon Gods like part of this storyline am I misremembering was that Meg it absolutely was not so she wrote
two books about Hades I just had to look it up really quick because I was like wait what was her name because I wasn't positive but no it was Persephone so she has a hair if it was Persephone it was Persephone and neon Gods so it was she has Hades and Persephone book and then she has Hades and Meg book I just had to like clarify because I was like wait a minute this is all very like for Hades man right get it um but it I was like this is very like reminiscent of neon Gods like a lot of the vibe
one of my favorite classes that I took in undergrad was um Greek mythology because it was literally just storytelling every class you'd sit there and you'd be like what happened what Greek god got someone pregnant this week like what Greek god [ __ ] a human this time um yeah so then like I'd say it is worth noting that like jafar's like you like would like wanna want people to watch like want to be on display and then she's like writing him and he like flicks a switch behind him
and like defrost the window because they're in the sex club and there's like a bunch of people watching them go at it and she's like I'm into that yeah so like that happens she passes out from all the orgasms they like sleep I hate it when that happens find a nickel for every time I had six or seven orgasms in one night at a sex club right called the underworld yeah I'd have zero nickels I was gonna say what are what are we buying um from the Dollar Tree nothing because with inflation
well yeah I I would be still nothing Nicholas not not a man named Nicholas classic mix-up sorry I was so bad that was not my best joke I liked it it was just bad it might I was gonna say not my best joke not my worst joke it might be my worst joke as I said it I was like I deeply regret this um yeah so she passes out after all of the orgasms and then when she wakes up in like the bedroom where they spent the night Ali is in the bedroom uh oh yeah and he's like you know like Jafar killed
your dad like I don't know maybe he says that now maybe he says it later Ayanna it doesn't [ __ ] matter um but it's like I'm gonna rescue you from your father's murderer and she's like no oh no and he's like I'm you're mine and she's like [ __ ] and then he like takes off then Jafar shows up and jafar's like oh like she looks out of Swords I must have like gone too hard last night and she's like Ali was here and he's like oh well that's no good so I go and like tell Hades then Hades is
like oh I'll rescind his membership that's that's really all that happens there okay we didn't think to rescind his membership previously well why would he have rescinded his membership previously I don't know I thought he and Jafar were tight so I figured I mean I think they're tight but like in that way where like business associates who both have a lot of power are tight we're like a lot of [ __ ] goes down under like like at the underworld which gives Hades
even more power right so I think like unless something happens it's like you ain't special like right you can be besties but unless someone like [ __ ] up and breaks the rules I have no reason to kick them out I think it's more of the energy so then like when that actually happens right they're like okay well we're send his membership that makes sense um I don't know they go back to the penthouse and like Jasmine's like don't like don't lock me up like this is like my
like that last night was like my first taste of the real I'm like girl you have been three places in your life you have been on your father's grounds jafar's penthouse and a sex club like what a life so is she a virgin when Jafar took her at the palace great question she hasn't been anywhere where she like bang him she was technically a virgin is how I believe she described what does that mean um I think that just means that a dick had never entered her but that plenty of toys had
oh okay yeah okay I think that is really fair enough how we're gonna describe that I feel comfortable leaving it at that um they like have a conversation that night where she's like don't like lock me up like my dad and he's like I'm just trying to like keep you safe um and she's like I don't just want to be a pawn and I like that's really where the tension starts to come in where she's like I'm I'm more than just upon in everyone's business Deals they go to sleep she wakes up he's not there
but he gave her a phone that just has his phone number and tink's phone number they have phone sex that's all Tink comes over brings more clothes Meg is with her though this time so Meg brings in another rack of clothes and there's actually like normal human clothes there's jeans this time not just like [ __ ] dresses well that's nice right and Meg offers to help Jasmine Escape and it's like would you like my assistance like I I can help but the steal expires in seven
days like so you don't need to you don't need to decide right this minute but like you've got to decide at some point um so Jasmine is like thinking that over and thinking it through when Ali not Ali when Jeff Farr gets back and her and Jafar are like sitting and having dinner um and she like asks them like oh like how was work like what were you up to today and he just kind of like deflects and is like so if you thought about like do you want to go to college like what are what do
you want to do now that you like have a little bit more freedom than you have before and she's like oh well he's clearly not telling me the details because he clearly is still just viewing me as a pawn and all of this right right um and I'm just a possession and it's like and like it switches to jafar's perspective and like he can like see that shift and he's like I don't know what happened but like she just like shut down some right I [ __ ] up somehow but I don't know how
but we also learn Jafar is real stressed out because when they were out looking for Ali that weekend six of his men went missing oh I was gonna say show that right like babe I'm sorry I'm not all the way with it today six of my men are missing because I'm trying to find a man who's trying to capture you right if we were a little bit more collaborative and communicative communication man right that's like it's I'm like not that I want to be Jafar and Jasmine's couples therapist
because quite frankly hard pass yeah and I don't love doing couples therapy me either did you have a lot of couples before like when you weren't working like in a treatment facility I had a few mm-hmm but I just always you know anytime there's family or you know couples it's always like yeah I'm always like none of you are you're all terrible yeah yeah like you're just all terrible occasionally I'm like you're the less terrible person but I can't even really engage with that
you're like you're causing the least amount of conflict in this but you still aren't blameless right and I think that's the thing is like everyone always thinks they're blameless yes man well also let's let's note if you were charging insurance for couples counseling insurance pays out so much less for couples than for individual therapy and couples is so much harder because you're man you're just managing more people it's more to like navigate and mediate like I remember
doing a couple session and this was like at the start of the pandemic they were in such a big fight they called in to zoom from separate rooms of the house and were screaming at each other so loud you could hear it picking up on the mic from the and I'm like and I was literally like if y'all can't use your inside voices in the next three seconds we are ending this session because none of this is productive and I'm like I don't get right like yeah couples work is just like it's a different level
but like I feel like people who like [ __ ] with couples love it love like I was overseeing in clinician and she's like I only want to work with couples I don't like doing individual talk therapy and I'm like let no man stop you right I'm like because that sounds like a special kind of hell to me to only do couples therapy I feel that way about working with kids though as well like people who are like only work with kids I'm like my God and it's not the kids themselves it's having
to deal with their parents usually that's the issue oh my gosh like it's bad enough working with adults the parents are like ghosts in the room but working with kids it's like oh God no no no no like hats off to people who specialize in that well yeah especially because like the parents are the problem most of the time absolutely and then they're like my kid won't stop doing this and I'm like maybe if you stop doing that they would stop responding in that way
no you you're not right um [ __ ] me right okay my favorite is when they show up first and they're like we'll do anything we can like we want to be supportive of our child and make sure that they have what they need and like we're here to help and I'm like oh my gosh that's so awesome here are some tips and skills for you to try and then they're like we won't be doing that no but like what are the tips and skills for my child to try right 100 yeah you're like that's not what I meant
when I said I was going to be supportive I thought I was going to support their behavior change not my own behavior change get the [ __ ] out of here um okay so all that said switches to jafar's perspective and yeah he could have just communicated more whatever um but they do end up having a little bit of a real conversation about the future where he's like what do you want to Major and she's like I've literally like I've never been afforded this opportunity like I I haven't put a lot
of thought into this but like probably software engineering he's like what software engineering and she's like yeah a lot of the measures in our business and our company are archaic and like we could expand into the digital digital get down world that's not the digital penetration world just like inter more of like like they could just expand the modernize yes modernize and he's like oh wow like she's so smart and like she said like we like she thinks the boss is like team a power Duo
running the legal underworlds together I don't know um then he's like I have a surprise for you Meg is there it's another probably like 20 Pages worth of sex I don't know they have a giant threesome a giant threesome I say giant just because there were so many pages I was like oh yeah it's still going oh yep good for you yeah well I'm like there's even like I remember there's like this moment where he's like I don't know like suck my [ __ ] or something and she like starts like
almost like get excited to it and she's like oh no wait I'm supposed to pretend I don't want to hahaha I don't know bless it yeah this is far more detail than is needed at all so yeah they have this big threesome um the next morning Jafar is gone Jasmine calls me again is like I'm accepting your offer I want out and Meg's like okay like I got my plan in place be at the elevator at this time like because I guess I forgot Jasmine I'd like tried to get in the elevator
previously from the penthouse and none of the buttons would work like you needed like a code or something um so escapes down into the car when she gets in the car we find Mega's there with Hades who had already made a deal with Ali oh no yes so then they're like oops sorry about your luck kid we already made a deal she's like I made a deal with you he's like but but he made a deal first so we're handing you off to ollie uh oh who like puts her in like the trunk of a
car and dries off and she's like drives off not dries off I realized I said that very quickly where I think we all knew what I meant but I did yeah I was following thank you um so this is a frying pan fire situation like she's out of the frying pan and Into the Fire yes it shook me sorry did you see the look on my face when you're like it's a frying pan fire situation I was like what yes did I just speak French or something like that was your face just now for real for real yes um but that is
an accurate description and so she's like I'm gonna kill Aladdin Ali whatever they're calling him um switch to Jafar jafar's man calls him and it's like Jasmine's gone and jafar's like okay just keep a man on her like she needs to be able to spread her wings a little bit I get it and they're like no no no you're not understanding like she's gone like in the wind yes like we think Aladdin has her and so Jafar realizes that like a deal was probably made with Hades he goes to the
underworld and Hades like won't see him and um they turn him away but then as Tink is Lee or as he's leaving Tink walks up like hands on like a note that said like lets him know that Ali has Jasmine at her dad's Balthazar I think was her dad's name I don't know his old grounds and property um but like on the Note like Hades is like now we're even I think from like when Aladdin had like gone into the room when he should not have and they resented his membership and all that
[ __ ] right so this is Haiti's plan to get Ali to Jafar this wasn't necessarily like a full betrayal I think Hades just makes a lot of deals got it and because then he he can collect a lot of favors right so I think it was less about like overtly helping Jafar and more like Ali had made it into the room we [ __ ] up from like our Like rules of our sex club here so like this evens the scales yeah I'm like less of like overtly trying to help him and more just like
I no longer owe you any favors for our [ __ ] up got it yeah yeah yeah um even though he handed Jasmine over right but it seems like we could have done that without endangering her but whatever who might have split hairs but if the deal was that he to get Jasmine right whatever what's next I just realized it doesn't matter yeah like I was getting caught up in it and then I was like wait a second you're like I really need to understand this and you're like no I don't yeah
um yeah so Jasmine is back at like oh not I'll eat Jafar is like okay I'm gonna like get my troops together I'm gonna go save my woman and then we go to Jasmine Jasmine is at the grounds Ali is not a good man like probably smacks her across the face at some point her father smacked her across the face at the beginning she had a bruise pistafar off I don't just you know coming full circle abusive men um she gets close enough she kills Ali good for her Jafar shows up to like save her
and all of the men who are there have now like pledged their allegiance to Jasmine and then he we all have Ollie's men pledge their religion well because like you realize like some of the men had been like balthazars before that and like and then some of the men had maybe been Jafar like everyone just kind of like lots of messy loyalty yes a lot of messy loyalty everyone pledges their loyalty to Jasmine including Jafar when he gets there and then she's like but you can
still be in charge in the bedroom I don't there's more detail none of it matters that is um the end they probably thought okay they are now going to rule everything together the end the end yeah so I'd say it's like probably a 200 Page book and I'd say that probably like over 100 Pages or sex if I well maybe less I don't know by the time you include digital penetration probably half the book is daddy baby girl digital penetration costume changes other kinds of penetration yeah a lot a lot of
penetration yeah um a lot of nudity like they're like there is plush and titties flapping in the water hippies titties yep titty slapping in the water really she will not win the swimming contest so what is our rating scale I was just trying to think of like what's the rating scale for this like like rajas but that feels weird given your your tied in the name maybe we could do tigers we could do tigers okay yeah um I'm gonna say Wicked tinks looked at Little Tinker Bells Little
Tinker Bells spreader bars oh I'm sorry Hannah took a sip of her wine through her giant silicone straw as I said that and was not prepared and almost just put it out all over our like very light colored couch so glad you kept that in spreader bars sure whatever makes you um no I think I think tigers it's a safe choice I don't know because like if you're thinking of it in the grand scheme of like all of the different books that we read like I think for its specific genre and what
it's trying to accomplish it's it's good right you know but I think like if you're looking at it in the context did you spray wine on your hands got it that I got it on my face incredible um but like I think for its genre and for what it's set out to do it accomplished it right um but I also don't think anyone is going to read it and be like this is a great literary Masterpiece right so for what it is it achieved its goal yeah was it enjoyable I I would say towards its goal it's
enjoyable okay yes I would say like once again if you're reading it for like a lot of plot like you just have to know what you're getting going into it right um so I'd say if there are 10 tigers I would give it like I like feel like I'm trying to rate it on two different scales yeah I would see you trying to figure out like towards its goal and for what it is it it did what it intended to do but like in terms of comparison to other books that maybe were a little richer if yes short yes so
I'd say like probably five Tigers out of ten or like six Tigers out of ten if I'm trying to marry those I think honestly it's probably like six tigers if we're looking at like it's set out what it's trying to do it's not going to win any awards maybe it has I don't know um like no shade Katie yeah just saying like there's there's enough plot that like to to carry you through so yeah I'd say I would say six out of ten Tigers I know you didn't read it I did not from my great retelling
for the best retelling of all time I would support six I'm doing suppressed your judgment [Laughter] that's so much pressure so oh so the reason why I can trust and support is because I did read neon gods and I did it that whole like clarification on the consensual non-consent and all that stuff is really like that matters to me yeah and so I'm like okay so for what it is especially given that I will support the six yeah six out of ten Tigers final offer did
you read um LJ Shin's new Thorn princess I would be curious your thoughts because like talking about like consensual non-consent where like there's a scene where like like that's what he's really into she walks in on him having sex with a woman who's also into that like she doesn't know yes like then like she has like sexual trauma and like it's a whole messy add that to my list and we can do a joint or something on that one later in the season yeah possibly I would just
be I'd be curious your thoughts regardless I yeah that one might be a messy review I don't know I I like LJ Shen a lot yeah but I also feel like her books either like really land for me or they really don't like like yeah I was like hell yeah or I'm like well we finished it right we can mark it as a red on Goodreads yep closer to my annual goal yep how many books did you set as your annual goal this year 300 100 yeah I don't know if I'm gonna meet it this year oh really yeah oh damn I mean I
might but I'm at 81 I think that is low for you while also still very far considering when we are recording this it is spring yeah yeah yeah so only a couple months into the
year and you're already at 81. yeah I well because historically I've set my goal as like I like hit 200 for a couple years then last year when I was super pregnant I think I hit like I had been like powering through and then I just like hit a wall yeah and I think my goal I lowered it to 150 and then this year I was like don't set yourself up for failure like you don't need to like set a high goal like you have a less than one-year-old child so I set my goal I think as like 50
books for this year to my head I'm like you know like a little less than one a week pretty much one a week since there's 52 weeks so if we split that math on those those last two books right I was like okay um and I think I'm somewhere in the 20s yeah so like we'll probably surpass yeah but I also I don't know I'm like why set myself up for failure right you know where I'm like I'm the one setting the goal I don't need to like at least like I don't need to be stressed about it I'm like also
even if I stopped reading if I didn't read any more books this entire year I've still read a lot more books than most people than a lot yeah yeah like I was scrolling through Facebook and a friend was like I it was at the end of 2022 and she was like man like I I hit my goal of reading 10 books this year and in my head I was
like 10. what I call that January right but then I was like I'm not like I was like no no judgment yes but I'm also like if you are not a huge reader like 10 books is a lot and you know what let's also own when people are like I only read 10 books this year most of the time they aren't reading desperate messages by Katie Rob like they're probably reading you know like something like Swan Song by Robert McCannon that's like I don't know more than a thousand pages and it's like
this Epic Journey that you go on yes and it's just doing the most there's no romance in it at all like there's not really any romantic relationship happen that's what people are reading when they're reading 10 books a year or they're reading they're like this is like self-help like was it like where the crawdads sing or like or uh culture yeah yes where I'm like oh they are reading books that like maybe hold a little more weight in substance yeah then I'm like
I'm reading a book called triceratops and bottoms so like let's keep things in perspective so like not like but just one of those words like oh 10 books and I was like good for her but then in my head I'm like man I didn't hit my 150 book goal for this year and like we're all doing great we are we are all doing fine we are and with that in mind if y'all have read Desperate Measures let us know what you think yes let us know share your thoughts how many tigers would you choose a different rating
system yeah we did just come up with that on the fly so if you I would be surprised if we can come up with something better I know that's a big plot twist that we choose a different rating system on the fly every time I don't know usually obviously clearly we put a lot of thought and energy into the rating scales well so bless my sweet husband who like does all of our like back-end production and all of that stuff and gets everything ready for like social media but he will um
when he uploads it to YouTube he'll normally like for the background try and choose something that was pertinent to the show and there are so many times where I'm like the [ __ ] did you choose that background for and he's like because that was your rating scale of this book and I was like oh [ __ ] it was and he's like yeah Chelsea I didn't just choose Hugh Jackman that was one of my favorite that was amazing that was amazing it was just Hugh Jackman's face
it was good right but yeah it's really good there are several times were like I don't even remember and my husband's like yeah I I'm just I'm not out here choosing these things willy-nilly like they are pertinent to the show there's a method well damn yeah so Tigers it is Tigers it is rajas yeah still really there was no conversation about their safe word they just like had a safe word which okay that neither here we had it we do which is more than most great stories okay
but I hear someone moving I I don't know it sounds like Brandon followed by Vance yeah sounds like my dog fell on the ground which he will do when he's following you around for food he'll like not pay attention and then slip in a fit of joy and he's like I also get excited about food I'm highly food motivated and I'm ready for a snack oh yeah it's snack time okay six out of ten Tigers let us know what you would rate it um not just rate that but feel free to like subscribe give us a rating on the
show on whatever your preferred streaming platform is it always goes a long way yeah and a friend yeah yeah tell friends yeah no we've had this conversation before I'm like you know know your audience oh you're cool friends don't tell your narc friends okay we can't wait to see you until next time have a great afternoon [Music] I hope it was good for you cause it sure was great for us if you're digging what we're doing it would mean a lot if you'd take a minute
to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now maybe tell that sexy someone Linda senir we love you we appreciate you we'll see you next week stay spotty [Music]