well hello all you beautiful people you know what time it is [Music] ladies and gents guys and dolls and everyone in between gather round get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on because it's time for smut club here's your hosts chelsea and hannah [Music] [Laughter] good evening or morning or whenever you happen to be listening to this and welcome to smug club i'm hannah and i'm chelsea and let's do this so today we decided to do we're just jumping we're like
no frills we're like we are doing this [ __ ] [ __ ] today doing this because honestly chelsea told me to read this book okay and it happens to be a seven book series and thank god i'm so excited for this whole journey genuinely it is one of those seven not including prequels none other including prequels and other books within the same universe sure is it really whatever it's all in maine it's terrible it is one of the worst one of the worst things i have ever experienced and i loved every
minute of it yeah like it was a train wreck that you couldn't look away and you're like this is truly atrocious and i am turning the pages of this book like like someone is paying me to do it i need to know what happens even though the whole time you're reading it like i highlighted some quotes that i'll have to find yes do it they were really atrocious terrible all right so the book is called no ordinary billionaire by j.s scott and just so y'all are aware js her first name is is jan and
if you are in a safe place and not driving or something please look up a photo of jan immediately okay but do you think that that's an actual photo of j.s scott or do you think like someone's like yeah like i go by jay scott my name's jan but it's really like a 40 year old dude writing bad erotica or do you actually think it's an older woman writing bad erotica it's still bad erotica either way bad smut so i almost just said something really terrible along the lines of like given
the photo it could go either way yeah you're not like honestly i think when i first read like oh j.s scott she goes by jan and then when i looked at the photo i was like is she real like i didn't doubt it until i looked at the photo and then it almost felt like a little like murder she wrote yes like she is attempting a smolder in the photo she is attempting a full smolder to the point where i didn't even realize it because i got to the end of i think the second book and was so
just flabbergasted by what i saw in the about the author that i took a screenshot and texted it to chelsea and said this is our dear friend jan and like yeah so anyway no ordinary billionaire um so no ordinary billionaire what's it about that's what we're here for uh-huh and they're spoilers they will all say that at the beginning of the last one they're spoilers just expect them always i don't know what you're doing listening to us if you aren't expecting spoilers
you should probably adjust your expectations um or just read the book before you listen to the podcast yes so no ordinary billionaire is about a billionaire who he grew up with money he grew up in a billionaire family with an alcoholic abusive father and so he's like i don't need my money i'm just gonna move to l.a and be a detective a homicide detective homicide and he has four siblings three brothers and a sister yes and so as a homicide detective the book opens
where dante the homicide detective the billionaire homicide detective has been shot a lot like several times several times and his partner is dead no yep patrick patrick yes man i got that right patrick was shot in the head and dante was shot several times trying to protect him and then he was eventually able to kill the perpetrator who was in fact a serial killer yes yeah so dante feels a lot of guilt yes over the survivor skill they're very specific about the kind of guilt he was
feeling and it was survivor's guilt are you sure they didn't mention it enough times in the book maybe i should go back and reread it and make sure it was survivor's guilt let me double check so dante his siblings there's a city in maine and they own a peninsula and once they're billionaires because they're billionaires and that's what they do they own a whole peninsula so his one of his brothers that you'll meet in this book but has another book dedicated to his love journey um he decides that
he's not going to like tell all of his siblings that he's building these houses because he wants them all to live there but he like builds a house for each of his five siblings or four siblings on this peninsula yep so that they're all like millionaire sibling neighbors on a peninsula that they all own so they have a sort of compound and all the houses have guest houses which isn't relevant currently but will be eventually yes so maybe not even in this episode you'll have to keep checking in
my future episodes stay tuned y'all because it just continues to be terrible so dante injured in the line of duty has to move to maine to his mansion in on this family peninsula to recuperate and recover and there's and he's like 30 or 31 years old and there's a hot young doctor in town named sarah so this is just honestly my favorite so she so this this woman is 27 years old all right and she is like mensa level genius like she's [ __ ] brilliant and finished college at like 12
right and then like went to med school and then she was an internist at at a major chicago hospital for a little while and for some reason which is alluded to to being somewhat traumatic in the beginning of the book she decides to move to this small town in maine because she doesn't want to be in chicago anymore right yes and she also like and this is no knock on the homeschooled community sure she does have a homeschool energy about her like like the whole thing is like she's very
sheltered she doesn't have a lot of experience she's like very naive because she spent her entire her entire life learning her father is deceased and her mother is an academic who's just like you need to find someone to marry who's your same iq level so you can procreate and contribute to the scientific community with your genius children yes yes so she is making a house call for dante so he he's coming to whatever the [ __ ] ames yeah it's a place in maine so so he has gone there to recuperate
with his uh one of his brothers who lives permanently on the peninsula and his other brothers are coming to like take care of him whatever like he's realizing he's had a distant relationship with his siblings and like they've never been that close and he's like oh but they all like showed up when i needed them when i when i like got shot yeah i guess that's like a nice thing to do and i'm like yeah no [ __ ] when you get shot the people who love you and care about you
show up and help make sure you're okay i didn't think that was revolutionary apparently it was and so dante should talk to someone about that yeah not me no i'm also not taking new clients for the record so sarah the hot mensa level genius doctor shows up to dante's mansion making a house call and she knocks and nobody answers and then she is like oh my god what if he's like hurt in there like what if he's passed out or something and so she tries the door and
it's unlocked and she starts yelling for him and nobody answers and then she finds him in the basement like working out that's where his home gem is right in the home gym obviously so he has several cracked ribs and a couple of bullet wounds he was wearing a vest hence the cracked ribs so she finds him like lifting weights and she's like what the [ __ ] are you doing like what are you thinking she doesn't say [ __ ] because she's very professional but she's like what are you doing you
need to stop that and he's like i don't need a babysitter and she's like i'm here to take care of you and he's like the only way you can take care of me is to turn around and bend over and she just ignores that like that's not even i'm not even exaggerating or making a joke like that's literally the words that come out of this man's mouth or that were written by jan [ __ ] jan god damn it jan honestly i like i text tana while reading this one and i was like i was trying to highlight a few just
like hilarious passages to me but then i was like oh no i need more context because this is all so funny and then i was like oh if i keep highlighting it's just going to be the entire chapter and i was like i'm just going to highlight the whole book because it's all so comical to me also i would like to know this book is like pretty well reviewed yeah like 3.9 stars with like tens of thousands of reviews yeah hold on let me pull it up yes it's a lot so while hannah's looking up what the
actual rating is so this this exchange goes down and then sarah is like i'm just here to take care of you just take your pills and is like trying to like debate him and dante this is now in the kitchen they're no longer in the gym and she like pours a glass of water and has his pills are there and then she's like take them and he gets pissed and he swipes like the glass off the table and it shatters on the ground and sarah is barefoot in his house yeah so it had
been raining so she took her shoes off when she went into the house to not whatever jan clearly set it up so that sarah would cut her feet yes so yes and however she got there sarah's barefoot dante swipes a glass off the table in anger the glass shatters and sarah just like walks on it accidentally i'm like i'm still a little confused but then like her feet are very bloody and so then she's like i'm fine and all it's i don't have to we don't have to work together and it's
like whatever i don't she's like you will not take me to the hospital i'm your physician and then she limps home on bloody feet um and dante feels real bad p.s 3.91 stars 19 200 nice round number ratings on the goodreads so like really well reviewed all these yeah um so yes sarah has janky ass feet now because they are cut up uh-huh and she's like i'm a physician i can handle this myself and it's all superficial so it's fine and i'm just gonna bandage them and it's
fine and dante feels real bad so he calls his brother who lives on the peninsula grady grady's married to emily they have another book it's the prequel i haven't read it yet um he calls dante and his letter dante calls grady and is like hey what's i need to like make this up to sarah and so he shows up at her house with lobster rolls and then discovers lobster rolls are fantastic and eats several of the lobster rolls so he showed up with six of them and she was like please have some and he was
like no they're for you and she's like you are a dumbass i can't eat six lobster rolls like i am not a sumo wrestler like she doesn't say that but that's what i imagine she said she could eat several she's like they're so good i could eat all of them i don't she might have said it yeah because honestly it i could have misinterpreted there's a high chance i did i had a decent amount of wine before i drank this book so um yes also had a decent amount of wine now thank you bota box
we drink a decent amount of butter box and we're not technically sponsored by bota box but it'd be a lot cooler for if we were yeah so i was drinking butter box then i'm drinking box now um i don't fully remember where we were at other than dante he brought the lobster rolls oh no because i was legitimately thinking because i however i think i may have misread it because i remember thinking she was like i could eat all of these because they're so good then i was like
where's she gonna put all that food and like can i was like how big is a lobster roll and then i spent a lot of time thinking about the size of lobster rolls not focusing on the book but there wasn't a lot to focus on at this point so i didn't feel like i was losing sleep you know to be totally fair there's not a lot of folk a lot to focus on throughout well so like just kind of speeding up maybe there's too much to focus right well all right so then dante makes out with her it's like i'm really
into her yeah and like makes out with her and she's like i'm your physician we can't what about my ethics um yeah and so then she decides she's like gonna refer him out to another doctor in town and then he's just kind of like automatically assumes like cool we're together she's mine right and mine is a big word he says mine a lot like it's like always italicized like what is that finding nemo like the the seagulls on finding me nemo like he's just like mine fine fine
it does yeah that's a great yes it does feel that way because i'm like cool we get it you're possessive right and it's super cute and we love that but i was like we like don't we don't we don't well i'm just like there are scenes where he's like and she was wearing a pair of shorts that went almost to her needs that that would have looked so bad on someone else but on her they were so sexy and i'm like right i have never in my life seen a pair of bermuda shorts
i've gotten hot and i think like that i was like no there's this is an attraction listen as a bisexual woman no no we don't do that as a bisexual woman you also aren't into bermuda stream i don't know i can't speak for lesbians i mean i could call my sister in check but i feel pretty confident that just generally bermuda shorts are a no you know like i feel like bermuda shorts or what i wore on my middle school youtube yes yes mission trip yes because they had to go
past the tips of my middle fingers yes yes thank you oh the we we can talk about purity culture and a whole i'm sure there's a book about it that we can read at some point religious trauma is for later and there's definitely plenty so dante and sarah he decides he's into her she's like we can't because i'm your doctor and i have ethics and then she decides she's gonna refer him out but like doesn't really tell him she's gonna refer him out um but then he requests a different doctor
anyway before she can refer him out yeah yeah that's fair yeah so also we forgot to mention that she's like a music prodigy oh yes and so the youth center which is really just a community center because there's also elderly people bingo that happens but i'm like that's not youth it's the elderly it is for the old and so they the youth center is this like really bougie community place because grady dante's billionaire brother had donated a lot of money in the prequel
and like revived it and so they're like it's not like a normal youth center there's like a ballroom and i'm like i know a major grand piano like a beautiful expensive grand piano they're like here's a bunch of really nice instruments for people who might want to learn them at some point right so sarah teaches piano to children but she also plays for the olds before the bingo yes pretty bingo they like they show up like a half hour early and she does like a
little piano concert for them and that's when the bermuda shorts happen so dante shows up to like watch her play and he's like i will [ __ ] her on that piano bench as long as she's wearing those shorts i've never been harder in my life i will work around the shorts i don't i don't think he was trying to work around the shorts i was trying i think he was really trying to fit them into it he's like how do i make these work for me they're all part of this so i don't fully remember everything that
happens hannah's better at the details i'm better at the general storyline um so like dante and sarah are hanging out and you're like cool what's really happening you guys aren't really a thing yet you've like made out once like we're still in that territory and then they he's like he takes sarah home and they get to sarah's house and sarah's house has been destroyed just absolutely trash what did the wall say like die [ __ ] die [ __ ] yeah yeah like all of her clothing has been cut up
everything she owns has been completely destroyed all her furniture like everything's ruined and luckily we forgot to mention coco the dog luckily she had coco with her when this transpired so coco was safe don't panic i know you didn't know about coco till just now but don't worry no animals were harmed in the making of j.s scott's no ordinary billionaire which i appreciate because i would have stopped reading you know that's valid if something happened to the dog i'd be like this is like
[ __ ] up [ __ ] knife handle in the ass all right but damage to an animal cruelty i'm not i'm out i'm out like if you want to stick a knife up your ass you live your life but you do not harm an animal in the making oh my gosh i also hope someone listens to this episode at some point not knowing that we reviewed dinner vipers so they have no context when we're talking about a knife up yes if you haven't listen to that just just pause now and go back and listen to episode one where
we talk about den of vipers and all of this will make more sense thank you sorry if the ass knives have traumatized you so so sarah's house is destroyed and dante's like you're staying with me so he then is oh but also you find out like you get a little bit of detail of why her house is destroyed because that is pertinent yeah yeah so the cops show up and the local cops are like sarah this might be connected to what happened to you in chicago and dante's like the [ __ ] what
happened to you what happened i'm a homicide detective she's like mind your own business and he's like you're staying with me so he takes her home to his home on the peninsula that he owns on the sibling peninsula on the sibling peninsula and so then so he then like calls in some favors i guess he does something shady to get all the details of what happened to her in chicago and then she winds up coming to him on her own and telling him that she had a patient
that was hit by a drunk driver he and his mom the mom died the son lived but was very injured and she really liked the sun and was helping him but then the sun coded suddenly and kind of unexpectedly while she was in the room with him and his dad was there and they were not able to revive him so the son died and then apparently the dad was real upset understandable but he decided to kill her not understandable and thank you for that caveat you're like totally understand why he was upset did
he try to kill her don't understand like maybe there's a line so he tries to stab her to death in the stairwell at the hospital because she likes to walk everywhere she does she enjoys the walking she does which dante does not like because she's like i'm just gonna walk around town i'm gonna walk home from the youth center and he's like you can't walk home from the youth center it's not safe get in my car yeah well like just like a little unnecessarily like territorial and
aggressive throughout the whole thing that you're like we get it you feel inadequate and like to whip your dick around it's fine at least that was my interpretation yeah well and it's all packaged it's very protective but it's like this is like really it's just controlling and weird yeah it feels like you don't have great boundaries or a great understanding of what a healthy relationship looks like and so instead you think this is normal right and instead of being normal you're
just like super possessive and dominant and just like perpetually shouting like mine right right and so so she she tells him all of this right and he's like i'm gonna kill the bastard because the guy got away and she lived because she was in the hospital a luckily yes she was like if i hadn't have been in the hospital when he cut this i would have died she was stabbed 20 times 20 times 20 well you find out later it was with a pocket knife right but regardless like i i
have worked with a lot of people right and one of the people i've worked with was shot five times and like he by the cops and he very nearly died like real close and like i also know somebody that was stabbed like six or seven times and she like came real close to dying and so it's like 20 times dude like were you not trying honestly that was my exact cause like later they're like it was a small knife it would have been worse it would have been more lethal but i'm like 20 you're
just not good at killing someone well and also it's like she he wasn't stabbing her in like the thighs and the arms or the back or something he was stabbing her in the torso like there's some vital stuff in there well and you you see the scars very soon actually that's a whole thing that we'll get to momentarily but i i did have that thought where i'm like so 20 stab wounds is a lot like the chances of being like i was stabbed 20 times and miraculously all vital organs were missed
um just doesn't feel realistic or true to myself because that's what we're worried about with this whole situation is that it's realistic no ordinary billionaire the homicide the la homicide detective billionaire being realistic and we'll get to why that's even less realistic that the son of a [ __ ] stabbed her 20 times and didn't hit anything vital so anyway so she comes downstairs and she's like i can't sleep and he's like well you should be resting or you've had a
tough day and she's like he's like i want to [ __ ] you but i'm not gonna do it now because you're all upset and she's like and like i just when you say that that is almost verbatim like he's like very aggressively sexual and she's like yeah i'm a little tired and he's like i want to stuff my [ __ ] and your wet [ __ ] and you're like hey i didn't we're like she's like i'm a little peckish like i could go for a snack and he's like i will snack on your house yeah and
you're like i don't i just really wanted some cheese like i will devour your hot [ __ ] and it's like okay yeah you're like i really it didn't need to go that hard right but he he's like i guess this is j scott's version of him being like chivalrous or something where she's like i'm he he says like i'm not gonna [ __ ] you because you've had a hard day and you're emotional so and she's like you won't like what you see when i'm naked anyway and so she takes off the shirt that
she's wearing and his shirt his shirt right because all of her clothing has been destroyed abs so she takes off his shirt that she was sleeping in and like shows him all her stab wounds and he is like cover yourself because he can't handle it because he's about to like jump her bones but she thinks that he's like ew gross cover it up so she runs out and then he's like oh [ __ ] that's not what i meant so yeah it goes upstairs and they [ __ ] oh no we're gonna break that down a little bit more so
yes everything that you just said very much happened technically true where like also i kind of wish that like they had written the scene where she took the shirt off from her perspective and then when she ran out zenith switched to his perspective right because reading it even from his perspective i was like oh i already know where this is going he thinks he's being chivalrous but he doesn't say anything outside of like cover yourself because in his head he's
like i don't want to take advantage of her she's vulnerable right now so he's like cover yourself you need to go rest and sleep and she's like oh like you i knew like i told you like you wouldn't like what you saw anyway and like runs out and it's like distraught that like this dude that she's super into doesn't find her sexually attractive when really he does and so it's like i i do wish that that part like reading it from his perspective i was like i see exactly how this is going to play out
but i almost wish like i could have experienced the initial half from her perspective because like i feel like that was more pertinent yeah but yeah so then she like runs out and she's like i know you like wouldn't like what i what you saw anyway and like you like wouldn't think my body was beautiful because i have 20 stab wounds in my gut and so then he's like [ __ ] being chivalrous i want her to know i'm gonna conquer her [ __ ] is eventually like it's kind of a
general tone so he goes into her bedroom mind you he's still recovering from some stab wounds throws like a concussion or something like he's injured like broken ribs yes yeah shot so he throws her over his shoulder which he has no business carrying a grown-ass woman because as we said he's injured and takes her to his room and then handcuffs her oh yeah i forgot about the handcuffs yes like their first sexual encounter also also worth noting sarah's only sexual experience was with a fellow
medical student they had sex one time it was not life-changing as no one is surprised by um it was not good it was not life-changing he dumped her the next day and she's like i don't get all the hype about sex or whatever i'm just uh smartly about procreating the species procreating because i'm a genius and i need to like pass that along to other people right the world needs my genetics yes so like this is really for all intents and purposes her sexual awakening yeah i might be getting
into this a little too much but i'm like no you're right it is because she has had one sexual experience ever is then like i'm gonna take this shirt off show this man my naked body feel rejected by him right and he throws her over his shoulder and then handcuffs her right and then is like you're arrested and she's like what am i arrested for and he's like fleeing the scene of the crime and she's like what's the crime i don't i honestly don't fully remember this and he was something about like
giving him a hard-on or something i don't know it was like fleeing the scene of the crime and causing arousal something that you're like what the [ __ ] is happening uh-huh so then he changes the handcuffs where he then handcuffs her to the bed frame yeah and i would just like to note this is her second sexual experience ever ever in life and this feels a little much like read the room dante this feels aggressive uh-huh and so then he goes down on her changes her world rocks
her world whatever happens right well and then she like she's like the handcuffs are hurting me because she knew that he would take her out of them if he thought they were hurting her so that she could touch him yeah she was like i really want to touch him but i know i'm handcuffed so i'm just gonna lie and tell him that they're hurting me so then he'll feel bad that he hurt me and then i can take the handcuffs off and touch him and you're like what could you have just told him i
wanted to touch him yeah so then they [ __ ] plot twist then they [ __ ] yes and so then like she's now told him the whole story about what happened in chicago she also has panic attacks anytime she gets anywhere near a hospital but that's her only i this did stand out to me that's the only side effect from almost being murdered that's her only trauma response only trauma yeah from she's like i get panic attacks when i think about going inside a hospital i'm like that's all that's the only
20 stab wounds 20 stab wounds and you're like i just can't go in hospitals anymore i'm like i think maybe we need to process this a little bit more right so then he like dante decides he's going to be her protector like he appoints himself the protector so he doesn't want her to go outside because the madman who destroyed your house is probably still on the loose so like you can't go anywhere without me don't worry about the madman that is holding you hostage essentially
don't worry about this is it yeah and cuffing you to the back man who handcuffed you to a bed worry about the madman who gave you panic attacks for hospitals to be fair so dante is like you can't go anywhere without me you have to stay in the house he doesn't want her teaching her piano lessons or playing for the old people at the bingo and whatever so eventually oh oh oh and also so he starts learning more and more about her like that she never learned how to ride a bike
so then yeah so you start to learn all these things where like because of the academic educational upbringing that she had that was so like focused on her being a genius she never really had a true childhood right so dante then takes it upon himself to give her this childhood so he like teaches her to ride a bike he buys her a doll it he does all these stuff did the doll part make you feel weird as well yeah that's just me yeah i'm like you're buying a grown-ass woman a doll and
she's a little too into this doll she was very into the doll it was a victorian like replica situation good news guys if you're into dolls the second book in this series is about the girl who ran the doll shop who hand makes the dolls so all that's going on and she's like you can't keep me inside forever you're gonna have to go back to la eventually like you can't keep doing this blah blah blah blah so she eventually talks him into letting her teaching the teach the
lessons again right yes like he's he's starting to be like okay like you can like go on your house calls for work and like i'll go with you and so he's like starting to be like okay like we can go back into the world a little bit but like the working theory has been that the dude who wants to kill her is still in town right right but she's also like i gotta like do something and move on with my life so she also we left out so all her clothes were destroyed and grady's wife so the brother
mil the billionaire brother's wife we love alliteration billionaire brothers bride [Laughter] nailed it um he so she buys sarah like a whole new wardrobe with dante's money and sarah's super uncomfortable and so emily is the wife's name so emily and this chick named randy who's another random friend her name is miranda she goes by randy in town they are around this whole time like talking to sarah and telling her like we think dante's in love with you and she's like what no
no he just let you spend like thousands of dollars on a new wardrobe for me and he like buys me all these things and like had he he didn't buy her a new car no that's the second that's the second book that's another brother get stoked for that review in the future um shout out for the forbidden billionaire so then um so the the girls are around they're supporting and that's relevant because they're supporting her like pursuing dante she goes back to the the youth center
she's playing the piano dante has checked the whole building to make sure that it's safe and then somehow this man yes after the concert has ended the old people are starting to clear out they're starting to go to the bingo room and leaving the music room and dante and the police chief have checked the youth center yes to make sure that it is safe and everything is okay yes and then somehow the dude whose last name i don't remember um really mad dad shows up so if i can't do alliteration
i'm gonna do rhyming so the really mad dad somehow shows up and puts a gun to sarah's head and he keeps emily the the sister-in-law and randy the other friend in the room and kicks everybody else out including dante and unlocks the door and locks the door which i'm also like how like logistically i have some questions about this i'm like cool so he's holding a gun to sarah's head and everyone including dante just clears out of the room except emily and randy well like he i guess said something
about them having to stay yeah it wasn't it wasn't clear no there was a lot of clearing around dane yes jan can you rewrite this scene and come back to us jan please email me like i don't know maybe we'll have a website someday and you can email me about what the [ __ ] was supposed to be happening in this scene because i have a lot of questions so regardless of how it happened emily randy and sarah are in the room with the guy with the gun more alliteration and then sorry and then
sarah because she's a mental level genius is wanting to protect the other two women so she's like trying to figure out how to get them out and he's talking about how he wanted to quote use her which i guess was like a euphemism for rape her and so she's like well you're not gonna be able to rape me if these other two [ __ ] are here so you should let them go i guess but also before he can she convinces him to let them go um we find out why he actually wanted to
kill her and it's not because he's upset about the death of his son and his wife it's because y'all you weren't ready for this he's a a serial killer the windy city carver the windy city carver that is infamous and everyone knows about the serial killer who's never been caught and so he's upset because his wife and son died and that meant that he lost his cover for being a serial killer and even dante's like even i've heard of the windy city carver out in l.a
and so you're like oh so plot twist it's honestly like i don't feel like i needed him to be the windy city carver he could have just wanted to kill sarah because his son had died and that would have been enough anger for me it was not at all necessary well and i'd also just like to bring up a quote please do um please so dante then is like how did he get in and then he like goes outside and sees a window to like a room that like is supposed to be a windowless room that
was covered and that's how he like broke the window and got in and he's like i was listening on the other side of the wall and was like trying to figure out how to make my move i was gonna bring this up it's horrifying and then he was like i decided he like decided to make his move once he heard the dude talk about cutting off her nipples yeah and yeah yeah i just really love the line i'll take your nipples for a reminder of how much i enjoyed slicing you up john john told
her now sounding crazed then he sounds crazy also y'all that's a direct quote from the book and i'm like i have some questions about his trophy case because like aren't like just like pepperonis i'm getting like an ed geen vibe like was it a nipple belt you know oh because ed gein did make a nipple belt was is it like a like like a sort of uh edging situation on a lamp uh are you doing like are you cutting the nipple in half so they're half circles for an additional trim detail face
scallop a scallop scalloped edge yeah a scalloped edge made of nipples yeah so i don't know that line really stood out to me when he said i'll take your nipples for a reminder of how much i enjoyed slicing you up and i'm like that scalloped edge on my lamp is what i look at whatever i want to remember that i enjoyed slicing you up and that's what honestly pushed dante over the edge so he busts in right and goes for also please no this is 75 of the way through the book right it's like so we
should be at 85
you know like we should be at 85. so dante basin saved the day in the process of saving her he falls and strikes his head on the platform that the piano is sitting on and um still somehow gets up and continues to fight this guy he tells what's her noodle sarah he tells sarah the main girl the book what's her noodle you knew who i met i did he tells her to run and instead of running out of the room she runs in front of john who's trying to escape and knees him in the balls which then gives
dante the opportunity to shoot him in the face or the chest i don't remember also worth noting at one point sarah is like you can't rape me if there's other girls in the room which i also feel like he could he could have i don't want him to please really hear me condoning or endorsing but i'm just like i don't really feel like given where he was at in life like that was what was stopping him yeah yeah like where there's a will there's a way but also like uh like morning father is plenty of
cover like he didn't need exactly i'm like you're distraught that your kid died i really didn't need a serial killer but it was funny because like she convinces him to like let randy and emily out and then she was like you need to go tell dante that he's the windy city carver he'll know what that means and you're like right like that's what's important like don't tell him that i love him or like that oh you know i whatever like there's no declarations it's like tell him he's the
windy city carver k bye like what truly okay i guess whatever so then dante sustains a head injury he does so uh john is dead and dante is injured and so so sarah he gets injured and sarah is like the emt show up and they're like we'll handle this and she's like i'm a doctor let me handle this and she's like i'm gonna hop in the ambulance and like so good news guys she overcomes her fear of hospitals she does because she doesn't notice that she's in a hospital because
she's so fixated on dante yes honestly like the way that they're healing each other is really beautiful and not at all codependent not at all and we forgot that part of the way that dante heals from all of this is like he has a lot of survivor's guilt and after he like swipes the glass and sarah cuts her feet she tells him that he's a [ __ ] idiot and he needs to pick take his pain medicine because patrick the the partner wouldn't want him to be in pain and patrick's
like oh or dante's like oh yeah that's that's true i should take my pain meds and i should call patrick's wife and son and so they remember that i love them and i'm here for them and it's like okay so sarah so dante's healed from the survivor's guilt sarah is healed from the cuts on her feet i like that we i mean to be fair her feet cuts healed a long time ago they did and also she's healed from the hospital phobia she's now more real only her only trauma from almost being
murdered and stabbed 20 times was a fear of hospitals and good news dante's head injury and her almost being murdered again right um led to her getting over this fear because she didn't even realize she was in a hospital because she was so focused on dante's recovery and you know a madman threatening to rape her and mutilate her horribly was like all good because she was focused on dante so then there's a lot of like well dante's leaving like we can't really be together
dentist is going back to l.a there's a timeline so then dante is like come with me to la i love you whatever and she's like well i'm gonna need at least a month or two to like work out my patients and he's like two weeks and she's like nah man like legit it has to be a month or two like i can't just leave these people and he's like okay so then he gets on the plane to go back to l.a and his brother's private plane worth noting this is not a commercial flight
they're billionaires they're better than that he doesn't have a commercial plane or he doesn't have a private plane um but he does enjoy using his brothers yes and um the flight was delayed and sarah doesn't know that so she texts him thinking that he'll get it when he lands she texts him telling him that she loves him and there's a lot of other [ __ ] in there i don't remember like it wasn't just a like cool i love you like it was like a lot of things that she said it's
like i need to like really like tell you like these i need to like my feelings like let me count the ways whatever so he gets it because the flight was delayed and he's like oh my god and tells the pilot to like we're not leaving and gets off and is like i love you too this is amazing and then they [ __ ] again and also the chief of police of the town had been offering dante a job this whole time and dante had been like nah dude like i gotta go back to la and then he's
like well because in in la he was a homicide homicide detective and um he was offered a job with the aimsport amesbury [Laughter] so yeah the like the chief keeps offering him jobs that he kind of keeps like turning his nose about them because he's like i'm a homicide detective right like in the book his hair is not that long in the book his hair is pretty short but i imagine when he says homicide detective that he's doing like a really legit hair flip like an over the shoulder i imagined it
as a crew cut hair flip well i mean just like it grew out for that scene like only when he's only for that scene he put a wig on to flip his hair and then he took it off yes yeah yeah yeah so regardless he's like you love it here your life is here i don't know what i was thinking i'm gonna stay with you forever i love you let's get married and she's like okay and then she's like maybe next year and he's like no next month and she's like the [ __ ] i need at least a year to plan a wedding
he's like no you don't make it three weeks which is weird right it is weird like what's the rush man like she's she's already locked down like what are you trying to do something he's like no i won't wait won't wait a year for you to be my wife and i'm like okay but like does it really change anything in the dynamic of y'all's relationship it doesn't you're already living together and raising the dog coco like why do we which was also like a rat looking dog that he initially
didn't like and then it was a chihuahua poodle mix or something something and i remember that because i have a pekingese poodle mix that we call a peekapoo and i believe in the book they call it a cheapo i had a lot of poo growing up and then um my loss of who was a female and she boned a [ __ ] poo and their puppy breed we just called them muds because it felt better than calling them lots of shitty poos which is where we ended up they were the cutest though i bet yes i bet yeah my peekapoo
is a mess well that's here hannah why don't you tell everyone tell us about your peekaboo let me let me tell you about my peekapoo so he's a pekingese poodle mix his name is gizmo he is nine years old and he is paralyzed so he does not have the use of his back legs and i have to wear diapers he does he wears diapers um and he doesn't always need them um so here's the thing the only reason i agreed to go on a date with my husband was to meet the dog because i had me i had seen him on
facebook and i was like i i need to meet that because it's the cutest thing i've ever seen and my husband's well aware that like gizmo is the ultimate wingman and now gizmo serves as a therapy dog so i bring him to work with me a couple of days a week and he hangs out with my patients and gives them love and stuff they pass them around during group and oh i bet they all love having them super cute my favorite my favorite was the 60 year old man huge dude like massive man
um had been homeless right before he came in had lived a hard hard life done a lot of years in prison saw gizmo and got down on the ground with him during group and just started loving on him and he was like contributing to group but every now and then he just leaned down and he'd whisper and he'd be like good dog i love you brother that's like the purest thing ever it was so precious so um that's about gizmo the peekapoo um maybe someday i don't know you guys will
meet him somehow i don't know he talks a lot he so he lost his bark in the accident but when he gets really hyped about something he sort of makes these little squeak sounds which are magnificent they're really adorable they're very very cute so um maybe someday you guys will have the pleasure of conversations with gizmo but for now that's the story of the peekapoo but coco was a cheapo coco this dumbass dog in this book is like honestly just kind of an annoying
afterthought throughout the whole thing like here's the thing it's to like humanize dante well yeah cause it's so it's sarah's dog and then like dante's like annoyed and he's like what what the [ __ ] is this little rat thing and then he's like oh i hate this thing but in that way we're like you know how like secretly yeah like dad's a big we're not getting a dog and then they're like i'm gonna build him a custom yes precisely like very much that energy so like dante's like this dog sucks but
he's also like i'm obsessed with this dog and would lay down my life for it maybe not that extreme but pretty close but pretty close and so yeah so 75 of the way through the book we really hit the finale where we find out that john is a serial killer who was also a grieving father i really only needed him to be a grieving father i really agree yeah he really wasn't grieving he was honestly sad that his son and wife died because they were a cover for his which is like no they weren't
you like what he was like i've like never been arrested and like no one like assumed it was like a family man with a son and a wife and i'm like i have some other questions i just like don't believe if you stab someone 20 times and failed at killing them that you are as good of a serial killer as you think you are right well that's why i said like i sincerely doubt that she was just sort of like needed a transfusion and was fine after being stabbed 20 times by [ __ ]
serial killer who'd apparently killed like 10 or 12 women before that yes there were so many and then they were like oh well you know now that we know he's a serial killer that does make sense because the deaths kind of dropped off around the time of his son's death and i'm like yeah cause then he went to boston or new york or some [ __ ] and started killing women there but whatever so so dante gets off the plane yeah and is like i got your text message and she's like oh i thought you wouldn't
get it till you land i'll still move out to california for you and he's like no i really like it here and my family's here and that's the end of the book basically yeah so like the final 25 of the book really feels like it could have been resolved in like a chapter it's just like a couple of sex scenes and them talking about whether they should get married in six months or in six weeks i mean to be fair i think a lot of what we do here is just describe the plot of a
book outside of the sex scenes to note like hey if you remove the sex right this is the plot we're looking at what do you think about this plot do you feel like it holds up without sex to be fair to be fair to be fair i did describe a lot of the sex and den of vipers but that was the majority of the plot well also in your review of den of vipers the description of sex was far more necessary i do feel like this was like go with me on this i feel like it was still pretty like vanilla there was a
lot of sex and outside of the handcuff scene up front which i we let's just go back was her second sexual experience ever in life and he handcuffed her to a bed right i do feel like a lot of like their normal sexual experiences i'm like oh this is just like normal sex normal sex he did spank her a lot at one point oh i forgot about the spanking yeah you are correct yeah although like compared to a knife in the ass like if that's the barometer we're using some spanking is like pretty chill
yeah i feel like when ass play is involved that's just a different conversation so just ask play in general not not knife play but ass play is the line for you no it's not a line there's ass play and there's knife play and sometimes those form of marriage um interesting word choice okay sometimes those come together in this book there was some spanking they did come together yes they did come for sure there was some faking there was some handcuffs uh-huh but outside of that i'd say the
sex as a whole wasn't like that risque it was just like sex right and there was a little bit of like it's so urgent we have to do it in this semi-public place but it was there was nothing that was like oh my god i'm also gonna say this and i don't know if you felt otherwise there was a a lot of sex and a lot of that like i wanna shove my [ __ ] and you're throbbing hot [ __ ] right there was a quote i don't fully remember what it was that i sent hannah i just
remember the word juices and laughing like i want to lap her juices oh that's what it was i want to lap her juices like they were nectar yeah or something like that and like here's the thing that line shut down any arousal that may have been happening like yeah and but i'll also say for as much sex as was in these was it was in this book at no point was i was like this is a rousing right like at no point was like this is hot i was like yeah so they're boning what happens next
and i don't feel like that's a mark of a great sex scene right but also i just want to put this out there because i imagine that we are going to review the other two or all those are the other six we're gonna review all of them because they are horrifying but just to be clear they are essentially the same book like every single one follows the same formula and i just love it i just love it so much that was like and i will review these at some point as well j.a lowe yes um
yes you already know but there were the first two books in that series i legitimately think they were based on the same word document like i was like i don't i think she just did a control f and yeah changed the name and did a replace like even down to like a scene where to be fair the first two books in her series and we'll get there at some point um the the first two books were about twins and one was the one brother and the one was the second brother and there was a
scene where both of the brothers not at the same time in each of their respective books went down on the the female and the female like closes her legs and it's like no i know men don't like to do that and he's like no i want to do that for you and i'm like really he wants to lap it laughs at her oh my god but like but here was michael i was like really both of these brothers had this identical experience like i'm just saying start a new word document at the very
least change the phrasing so it doesn't feel like the same she was thinking she would release those books far enough apart that nobody would notice yeah she was not prepared for you and i who are just like you mean there's seven books in this series i'm getting through every single day within a week okay all right so no ordinary billionaire the first of j scott's sinclair series yeah so i i'm thinking like lobsters like how many how many lobster rolls are we ready lobster rolls
i'm like out of five so for enjoyability of like like is this great literature absolutely not but did i really enjoy it and did it make me laugh a lot and would i potentially rate it again yeah so i feel like four i would go with four lobster rolls like 3.5 lobster rolls okay okay yeah and but i feel like those are like in the you rounded it up i did i round it up yeah but i wrote it up because i feel the same way like objectively was it great literature absolutely not
no it's never getting a pulitzer and did it lead to a lot of really hilarious conversations with people and like did i laugh really hard when i was reading it yes was i meant to laugh at the book i don't think that was what she intended based on her headshot no that's not what she intended no she thought this was like gonna be like the sexiest of books well according to thousand two hundred people on goodreads it was well they also fall between our three point five and four point eight roll 3.91
we rate this book 3.91 lobster rolls we do we do and while we have enjoyed this time together that we've had with each other and i guess with you dear listener i think we're done now yeah i think i think we'll circle back honestly i might need a reprieve before i i review the second book because because they're essentially the same so yeah because you already listened i'm just going to change a few key details i can just put those in the notes for this episode and you can re-listen to
this episode and just imagine those other details yeah but to save you that we will review it at some point because it's that bad and wonderful and magical so we love you we don't know you but we love you and we're excited you're here and have a good day have a good night i don't know what time it is thank you a good night good night and good luck