foreign [Music] hello All You Beautiful People what time it is ladies and gentlemen Guys and Dolls and everyone in between gather round something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on cause it's time for smut Club here's your hosts Chelsea and Anna hey y'all how you doing today hey everybody Welcome to smut club I'm Hannah I'm Chelsea this is where we Day drink and talk about trashy room ensembles we read except being pregnant only Hannah is day drinking and for
clarification too I am the one who is pregnant and because she's pregnant she's drinking for two just to make sure we clarify this no no I'm not pregnant I'm drinking for Chelsea in solidarity thank you I'm I'm drinking Welch's sangria while we're not sponsored by Welch's it'd be a lot cooler if we were yeah we would also love to be sponsored by Boda box um except because I'm not drinking the box was really old and Hannah poured like one Sip and a look on her face I
was like we don't we you can just throw it out you don't need to drink that I'm so sorry but it sounds like you're the only one who drinks it it was it was no longer to quote my husband Rich rape and smooth nope no although when I was like cleaning out the sink I there was like a drop that like got on my finger and I licked my finger and I was like son of a [ __ ] that's good and then I was like do I have a problem and I'm like no I I just haven't had anything to drink in a minute months and
months and months and months and months not that many months months and months and months and months and months yeah girl I said it five times and I'm five months pregnant so fair enough fair enough we go pardon me um all right so today we are reviewing pen pal by JT Geisinger um I wish I had alcohol for this well like I was texting Hannah about this when I was reading it and was like I was like Hannah that's a 35 Mark I was like gonna recommend it and then I'm
like now I'm 60 in and I don't know if I want to finish it and now that it's finished I can't decide if I loved it or I hated it um I was also describing it to my husband around like the 35 Mark I was like okay it's like this is what this is the premise and this is what's happening and like there's ghosts and creepy things happening and we don't know and she's like um uh like she's not a trustworthy narrator and we like there's ghosts and I'm things that's I can't
think of the other word paranormal yeah that is creatures perfect I'm not drunk and my husband was like oh so it's like a sexy Scooby-Doo I was like yeah and then it took some turns and I was like is that sexy or is it weird Okay so instead of just giving vague things let's just please jump let's hop in setting the scene Kayla so we meet Kayla um she is a children's book illustrator we are meeting her the day of her husband Michael's funeral oh um yes like like the book opens she is
at his graveside like someone gives her like a tissue like people are sobbing and she's just kind of like shrouded in grief doesn't really fully know what's happening um we learned that there was an accident on New Year's Eve but we don't necessarily know what happened we just know there was an accident on New Year's Eve she's at her husband's funeral um when she gets home there's a letter like a mail letter to her from Washington State Penitentiary um and she's like
who brought the mail in like oh yeah and she's like but it's one of those things where she's like honestly it was probably me she's like I don't [ __ ] remember I am right like my husband just died it says not my priority I probably brought the mail in our house cleaner Fiona probably brought the mail in and I just like forgot how to say out of mind so she opens the mail and opens this letter and it just um oh the name on the outside of the envelope is Danton Alighieri what a name
what a name and I'm probably butchering that last name there's a lot of [ __ ] vowels in it I'm like I saw a tick tock yesterday where this guy went through words in the English English language that he feels like should be spelled differently because dyslexia yeah and it started with tongue yes I stopped watching after tongue but I saw that Tick Tock well by the end he said I feel like the English language should be like Wheel of Fortune you have to pay more for a vowel this [ __ ] is stupid
it's pretty funny and accurate yeah yeah like I saw something in the last week that was like the word q is just the letter Q followed by a bunch of vowels that are unnecessary very much so very much so so this letter is from Washington State Penitentiary um the name return address is not Dante this is gonna be fun I am I'm having fun all right so I'll say I used to think like when people would talk about pregnancy brain that it wasn't I was like that's just people being dramatic
it's the realest thing like I I will like even when I was outlining this book I would look down at what I wrote and I would like be getting words mixed up and like I'm like no like I know the order but I'm like I was just typing really fast and like speaking is difficult and I forget words and we'll get through it we will so Dante not daunton sucks to be you if your name is daunted damn um Danton alligary you said it again just call him D or something Jesus my husband's in the corner just like
nodding at Hannah we're not that far in and this is [ __ ] brutal Dante damn it Dante Dante Dante Alighieri I got it right that time right you did you did so good so Dante Alighieri has is the name on the return address um and the letter just says I'll wait forever if I have to uh and she's like the [ __ ] like I mean is it addressed to her specifically yeah okay so this wasn't like dropped off at the wrong house or the wrong address or something no it is like addressed to her
from the State Penitentiary and she's like what is I don't I don't know what's happening so you know I think as a lot of us do it felt like a really human moment she was shrouded in grief gets this creepy letter and so she poured herself a really large wine good for her drink it went to bed um when she wakes up in the morning there's a like huge leak in the kitchen and we find out um before Michael passed away they had bought this like 5 000 square foot Victorian house that was like beautiful
and wonderful and they were gonna like fix up together but it was definitely a project house that took a lot um so she's like getting buckets to fix the Bleak and then Fiona comes in Fiona is her housekeeper who we are meeting and like Fiona sees her and is like shocked and she's like oh like are you are you staying here like after like with like whatever gonna happen like losing like you're staying here because and Kayla's like I mean like yeah like for now like it's a lot of house but like
it's mine it's mine I live here like I probably don't need 5 000 square feet to myself and I was I mean I was thinking about it when I was reading it because my husband like our house is like 2200 square feet on a basement that is roughly an extra thousand um and a lot of like the basement is like storage and such but I was like God forbid something ever happened to my husband our house is way too [ __ ] big for me I'm like and that's like a whole extra house yeah like I was like I I
don't even know what I do with 5 000 square feet if my husband were alive which she is thankfully I love you we should we should get him a mic at some point because he sits there and definitely has great commentary to be added um so Kayla's like yeah Fiona I'm staying here like maybe not forever but this is where I'm at for now um Kayla decides to write Dante back and is like what are you waiting for he's like I'll wait forever and she's like for what for for what color me intrigued
like what's this letter for like what is this supposed to be um then a week later she gets a response and the letter just says you well okay that's not I don't feel good about that neither did she so she just put the letter in her underwear drawer and moved on with her life she's like okay that does not dignify a response yes she's like that's unsettling I don't know what to do with this so she's like I'll just put these letters in my underwear drawer and pretend like I don't have them and
move on then over the next week like we are getting haunted Victorian Mansion vibes from this house like the lights are flickering light bulbs are exploding the doorbell keeps ringing and every time it rings and like she like goes to open the door no one is there and so she calls a handyman we meet Eddie Eddie's a complete stoner like everything is groovy he's reeking of weed he's our Shaggy yes he is the Shaggy and this sexy Scooby-Doo um and she like Kayla keeps getting headaches
and so while he's going around and like seeing what's up with the electricity and all that stuff She lays down to like handle her migraine um Eddie like walks in her bedroom not realizing like she'd been laying down and he was like oh yeah like I used to have headaches all the time and then I started seeing a therapist and like I realized a lot of it was like things I needed to process that were weighing me down um and she's like I don't know if I'm gonna do that but thank you and he but
he also tells her that the roof is far too large of a project that he he's like this is outside of my scope right he's like but the good news is your electricity is fine just like buy better light bulbs she's like but the lights keep flickering and the bulbs keep exploding he's like yeah it's probably because they're poor quality like I checked everything it's fine go see a therapist kind of his energy right um and so she's like well thanks so much I guess for nothing and then he leaves um
she I'm not gonna lie what I'm about to say is becomes pertinent later in the book and so I hadn't initially put it in my outline but then later when it became permanent nah pertinent when it became pertinent not permanent I knew what you meant thank you thank you for that you know I had a teacher when I was in like eighth grade and he um Mr miklos and I still remember him talking about like he's like yeah what's the point of correcting someone if you knew what they meant you're just being
an [ __ ] right it's apparently he said [ __ ] because like it was to a group of like 13 year olds but I always like really apprec he's like why are you putting someone on blast unnecessarily if you knew what they were trying to communicate right but I'm willing to put myself on blast and if I keep calling people daunting here we are so yeah when I realized it was pertinent I was like oh I feel like it happened somewhere around here but I don't quite remember so gotcha if
someone decides to read this book and then is listening to the podcast don't come at me for this if it's in the wrong spot um but Kayla wakes up with some bruises on her neck and like one is in like the yeah like one isn't like the shape of like a thumb print and she's like where did these bruises come from and then she's like trying to look it up and online and it's like bruises can like it can be a vitamin deficiency it can be like like there's a lot of things that
could cause bruise like that could cause you to bruise easily in the shape of a hand around your neck I didn't say the shape of the bruise is what what happens with a vitamin deficiency I'm just giving myself a clear picture she's clearly discounting some evidence that she is not safe there's a lot of justification and a lot of like I just must not be fully with it because my head is in a million places because I just lost my husband right um what happens from there
I don't know oh well I forgot when Eddie was like yeah all the lights are fine just go to therapy when Eddie leaves all of the lights start flickering and she's like what the [ __ ] um well she goes downstairs there's another letter from the penitentiary and when she picks it up all of the lights in the house go out and she's like well it's happening I love how giddy you are telling me about that I attack with my shoulders you do my sister is a hairstylist and one time
she was doing my hair and this like pop of a song came on I don't remember what song it was but I just vividly remember my sister going wow your shoulders are really taken on a life of their own there and I don't think that's just my dancing I think that's just my state of being sure yeah sure you and Pat Benatar sorry she has a lot of shoulder moves there are a lot of shoulder moves when you said Pat Benatar I thought of um during years ago there was this like it
was probably 10 years ago at this point there was this like a YouTube clip called moves like Jagger yeah or no it was like do your best Jagger or something like that and these dudes like had a bet going and they could call do your best Jack or any point you had to stop what you're doing and do your best Mick Jagger impression but like they kept like becoming like increasingly inappropriate places did you like at like a funeral right one was like during sex that's what I also thought of um
so she gets this letter mind you she put the other ones in her underwear drawer and was like this is weird I'm Not Really Gonna engage with this and then the letter is like you may think we've never met but I know you in every way someone can know another I know the shape of your soul I can still taste your skin there's like some poetry [ __ ] thrown in there and you're like this is intimate [Laughter] well yeah I mean if a random felon were to send me a letter to tell
me he remembers the taste of my skin I would have a lot of questions about if we're in a sort of uh Hannibal Lecter situation am I in the Silence of the Lambs what is happening right now yeah that wouldn't feel like a romantic Overture to me would you just put it in your underwear drawer and move on I honestly don't know what I would do I feel like I would shred it I would like feel like I'd like take photographic evidence yeah and then be like this is very unsettling so like Kayla her head
starts like running down the list of like all of the potential reasons for Dante's letter and she's like is it a scam does he thinks I like have this house that I like have money because I don't have money she's like she was like but he's not asking me for money what the hell so she's like I don't [ __ ] know what to do with this um so while she's trying to like figure this out there's a knock on the door there is someone there this time it's the roofing company and they were like yeah we had an
opening a week early so we thought we'd come out and take a look here we meet Aiden um layrite Lee right I don't it has a lot of vowels everything in this book has a lot of vowels well Aiden is one of our top three most common names for a a male character in these books so that is also yeah we've we've reviewed have we reviewed a book with Maiden before I know I've definitely I reread the wall of Winnipeg and me by Mariana Zapata like two weeks ago and right that's Aiden
we've made a lot of references to the name Aiden but I don't know that we've actually had a book with the with a male character named Aiden Stone Aiden Black Blackstone Stone that's master of bone and salt yeah there's a lot of those it's like it's like you know there's more names right um so we meet Aiden the roofer dude he's pretty Gruff there's like this like you're like is this banter or do you guys not like he like do you hate each other like it's like very like quick-witted but he's
like it's 10 grand and she's like I don't have 10 grand and he's like okay bargain with me and she's like two grand and he's like 9999.
and she's like if I don't have 10 grand I don't have one dollar less like he can tell she's not in a good place things are not going great and he's like he's pretty Gruff and pretty rude and she kind of calls him out on it and he leaves um and well he leaves not her house sorry I'm give me a second to remember what happened um he he leaves her like she calls him out for being rough he's like okay well like let me go like look at everything and like figure it out he's like but
it's a big project it's probably going to be 10 grand it's like kind of what's Happening Here she definitely has this moment of grief she while he's going and like assessing the situation that's what happened I got ahead of myself I don't think he gave her the quote yet he showed up was like kind of a Gruff [ __ ] and then like she's like doesn't say my husband just died but like it's like kind of about to burst into tears and he's like oh okay I'm gonna go see how about the
damage is nice to meet you so she sends a letter back to Dante that's essentially like I don't know you I have no money please don't contact me again I'm gonna get the like a detective friend of mine involved if this continues um and then puts the letter in the mail when she comes back in that's when Aiden gives her the quote for like gotcha ten Grand and she's like yeah I don't have that but like he can tell like she's not doing well she's not in a great spot so he's like
all right I know a guy who can do it for five grand and she's like is he licensed and insured and he's like it's me I'm I'm the guy like oh I'll be here tomorrow to do it whatever and he leaves he shows up the next morning there's definitely more like sarcastic back and forth between them um like he's still pretty Gruff she's like should I write the check to Godzilla and he's like should I bill it to the dragon lady with sad eyes like jeez dude right and I was like Dragon
lady was far enough we did not have to comment on her emotional state damn dude yeah that's where I'm like is this banter because this doesn't it feels hurt ful badger which I guess is just sarcasm right with like sarcasm always has that curdle of truth that depending on on how it's presented you're like oh yeah this doesn't feel like good-natured banter I guess is what I'm saying that is very fair and so when he's like should I build it to the dragon lady with sad eyes she's like you should
leave she's like I don't think this is like a gonna be a good thing right just let my house fall down at this point just get away from me yes and so she's like or what he's like all right I'll leave but like call me if you change your mind your roof clearly has a leak that needs to be fixed um so she goes she decides she's going to go visit a local grief group and try and join a support group after the passing of her husband she meets a woman named Madison who's like not really like
no one else in the meeting is really like talking to Madison or engaging with her um but we also learn like Madison's at the group because her like daughter was like her four-year-old was abducted and never oh God yeah like and then um Kayla's like so is this group helpful for you and Madison's like what do you think and so Kayla's like I think I'm gonna leave like right like this was a mistake yes so she goes she leaves the grief group does not stay for it goes to the bar across the street
guess who's there is it Aiden it's Aiden the roofer who are my stars we're all so surprised that was sarcasm see see there was a curdle you nailed it I did yeah nailed it um he comes over to her at the bar they start talking he asks where her husband is because she's still wearing her wedding ring and she just gives a vague like he left me like doesn't like go into all the details doesn't tell him anything um he can tell she's about to cry so he like leads her away from the bar back to
the booth that he'd been sitting in and then definitely starts hitting on her very aggressively like like tells her like he finds her attractive wants to take her home and make her come which I'm like bold move my guy bold move interesting choice the dragon lady with the sad eyes however I bet I could turn that frown upside down like what sorry I just really liked that we went frown upside down after like her husband died well that's what I'm saying that's why it's so ludicrous but I guess he
doesn't know that her husband is dead yeah that is very true um he like gives her a little kiss that feels electric or some [ __ ] like that they always do the electric jolt when our skin touched right my notes literally say gives her a little kiss that feels electric actually I meant to say little kiss I accidentally wrote title kiss but the sentiment holds and then my notes say she is like wow that is bold and and he is like but also accurate like it's kind of the general
she's like no you're really coming on strong and he's like all right well like let me know if you change your mind if you do I actually live Above This Bar of course he does of course he does she decides to leave says goodbye and that they do know like she says goodbye he says good night like she's like goodbye he's like good night like okay like it's not as permanent as goodbye okay feels like semantics but all right isn't that what a lot of these books are yeah I guess um I think it's home
finds a letter in the mailbox at least they're not like showing up in their house yes Dante from the state penitentiary um is like I can't answer your questions but I'll always tell you the truth like here's this like Poetic stanza like what do you think like these letters you're like what is he what this makes no sense so this is around the part where my husband called it sexy Scooby-Doo she goes to bed and then wakes up hearing the floorboards creaking like on the on the
stairs don't like that no not at all and so like she goes into her bathroom gets the flashlight that they kept under the sink or something okay I'm like that where most people keep their flashlights I don't know what do you have a flashlight yeah where do you keep it we have one in our linen closet and one in our bedroom on the dresser on the dresser we had a power outage not that long ago and we just never put it away that answers I was like I was like one if you and your husband are doing some
freaky [ __ ] I mean nope I'm gonna leave it alone I'm gonna own is what I'm gonna do but okay it is I'm like it does feel like if you have like your linen closet in your bathroom or something like that I don't know when like when I was reading it it's a weird detail to get caught up on but I was like why is the flashlight in the bathroom where's your flashlight if you say your bedroom I will not say my bedroom um I know my husband has one or two in the basement sure
we have like a Cleaning Supply Closet by our front door and that has like a basket filled with like all of like the small ones that like we've somehow collected over time there was a year where my husband was gifted two flashlights for Christmas nice um one was like just like a stocking stuffer from my parents and this was like our first year of marriage um and my aunt always spends Christmas with us so my husband gets like one flashlight in his stocking and he's like
dope cool whatever it's a flashlight and then my aunt actually like gifted him a flashlight that like he like had to unwrap and then it's like the first Christmas and he's trying to be chill and like figure out like my family Dynamics at the holidays and she's like I'm so sorry I wouldn't have gotten you a flashlight if I knew you were already going to get one and he's like no no no it's so he's like you know working in like event production like you never know when you're gonna like he like
sold it very well and like when we like got home he's like do you think I made it okay it was like the purest thing I was like yeah and you really can't have too many little flashlights on hand it's true I think our problem is that like we don't need them very often and then I never change the batteries so having a lot of flashlights is really not that helpful right it's none of them work well we could go on a whole thing about where you keep your batteries but I want
to hear more about sexy Scooby-Doo why does where do you keep your batteries feel like a far more intimate question I know I realized it as I said it I was like oh I didn't like that for the record we keep those in the Cleaning Supply Closet as well noted I guess we were gifted I think the following Christmas like one of those like industrial battery Keepers where you can like put like all different sizes and like you can even test the voltage is that the word that I'm going for
um yeah I think I think my mom just like went in to Costco and it's like I'm gonna [ __ ] [ __ ] up today and then we all got it um but yeah so anyway she goes into the bathroom gets the flashlight gets dressed and like feels like she's being watched and she's like this is like creepy this is unsettling I'm in this 5 000 square foot house alone not here for this [ __ ] she grabs her keys takes off um and then where do you think she ended up Hannah did she go to Aiden's yeah yeah she did yeah
I I wish there was a bigger plot twist here but it's exactly what we expected so she goes to Aiden's it's raining outside because they live outside Seattle like of course um she tells him the whole story of I mean not the not the dead husband part of the story but like the creepy my floorboards were creaking I felt like I was there and someone was watching me he's very calm very supportive um gives her some dry clothes to wear she gets bold and decides to like drop
the towel he gave her to dry off and they start going at it of course they do I wanted this like a week after her husband's funeral let's give her some credit let's go two weeks well I mean I'm not saying that it's bad or wrong I'm just saying like this feels like a I'm not I'm not saying it's bad or wrong what I am saying is I have a very hard time conceptualizing being in a place where I could be intimate with someone else two weeks after my husband passed
away right that's what I'm saying yeah like I can't identify with that but also I'm not here to judge how people process their grief that's the therapist in you I know it is I I yep and by not judging how people process their grief you mean in session you keep your [ __ ] together then afterwards you call me and you're like listen to this [ __ ] I just had the weirdest [ __ ] session of my life um yeah so they start going at it he very much like very dominant in the
bedroom takes control very like they're like I I think the thing that that killed the sexy Scooby-Doo for me in this book is that they're wasn't a single sexual encounter that I conceptualized as arousing got it okay um because I I wrote down the quote I don't know he stops licking to suckle my [ __ ] like he's drawing milk from a nipple Jesus Christ I hated everything about that I hated everything about that I have so many least favorite parts of that sentence you just
you just compared your your [ __ ] to a nipple Jesus he stops licking stop don't say it again I think I'm just still processing like I'm the one who read the book and wrote the quote and I'm like really oh my god um they bone also there's like no concern about a condom like there's no like conversation about I'm like what is that also usually will throw me out of a scene like if there's no discussion about like any kind of birth control or like are you clean it's like two lines like can we
not just say those two lines so then I can like we can just all be on board with whatever stuff it is one without I'm like and I was like not each time unless like each time you're like I hear the crinkle of the condom wrapper I was like okay I can work with that right but this like I was like wait what this first time like that's the part that like always suspends belief for me yeah but also if it doesn't suspend belief for you no judgment I do have some questions all
right all right true story I once had a counseling client oh God who was um having sex with a new sexual partner and it still makes me laugh to this day I'm terrified I don't know well he was like do we need a condom and she was like yeah yeah we do like oh God and then like in the height of passion he like Whispers in her ear you make me want to get tested oh no oh oh no I was like is that what did it for you and she was like I don't think I'm gonna see him again I
was like that feels like a fair assessment I was like there's nothing sexy about that like you I was like this is your first time sleeping with her and you're like that fixing it on Raw dogging it so now they're like a few months ago or last year at some point there was that trend on on Tick Tock where everybody was using the sound that was like Hey little mama let me whisper in your ear that's all I can think right now okay you make me want to get tested I'm like
I on I I don't know if I could keep a straight face no I wouldn't no okay no so back into this scene with the milk nipple [ __ ] I heard it yeah yeah they bone he like tells her she's staying the night like oh well he's still lodged inside her when better to make demands really I don't know if there is a better time yeah probably like we said that a little sarcastically but then I'm also like also there's there's our kernel of truth there's our kernel of Truth compliance oh oh so much about this
um they talk there's a little bit of banter they have round two this also like part of their like sexual scene if you will is he's like oh like you're my little bunny and she's like you gotta catch me and she like runs around his apartment and he like catches her and like she calls him her lion and he calls her his little bunny or his little rabbit I hate that there's some light spanking yeah I'm like I hate it deeply yeah um so they shower together after all of
this they kind of have a heart to heart he tells her um he'd never hurt her he does vaguely allude to like he hurt his father we don't know the full details of that but like it like to like protect his mother he hurt his father or something of that capacity and she's like I'd never judge you for keeping someone safe like what is happening um also I would like to know only now after they've already had a few rounds of sex do they talk about being clean in STDs and chances of pregnancy
and then he makes her breakfast it's a little late for that yeah I'm like a day late and a dollar short oh and I hope you got that dollar because you're gonna need Plan B because you didn't have that conversation right Lord help us um so they go back to Kayla's house he insists on like going through and checking it and making sure everything is fine everything is safe blah blah blah um he tells her he has a friend who installs security systems um and he's gonna call his friend to
come out help her out give her a good give her not give her a good deal because she offers to pay and he tells her like it's emasculating and she's like well can I pay you like like can I can I pay your friends for the security system can I pay you for the roof and he's like no like I'm a man okay and then tells her if she brings that paying again she'll get spanked so does she bring up paying again well I don't want to ruin the book can I there's a lot of staying spoilers yeah
there's a lot of spanking in this book um we then meet Jake Jake is Aiden's best friend since like high school he is installing the security system she's like I don't really want anything fancy ask Jake about what it cost and then he goes Aiden said you know what'll happen if you mention money I was like does Jake know what'll happen because if right like ah sir yes now it is like Jake is very protective of Aiden he's like Aiden's had a really rough life he deserves all
of the best in the world I like don't [ __ ] him over I want to make sure like he like sees her wedding ring and it's like he's my best friend like I'm very productive of him um they they decide on the security system he starts working on it and then as they're like shaking hands and figuring out what their deal is moving forward she like looks out past her him into the window into her yard and there's someone like watching her from her yard oh yes and so someone is watching her
and then like she like turns back to Jake and then turns back to the window and the person's gone sexy Scooby-Doo it's not so wow Jake is installing the security system Kayla goes to investigate her yard she goes over to where um like the tree where the dude had been standing and it's rainy because it's Seattle um and it's really muddy but there's like no footprints in the mud at all she's like what like there's no tracks that anyone was here um she does look down and sees a 1937
type D Buffalo nickel okay in the mud and she picks it up and she knows exactly what it is and knows all of those specific details because her husband always carried it in his pocket it was like his good luck charm like it's like a nickel that has some Rarity thing so it's like worth like twenty five hundred dollars or like something like that so like she knows the specifics of it we learn a little bit more about harassment at some point like he worked at the University as a
professor he's like a [ __ ] like math genius or something like genius IQ very academic highbrow level um so then she's like freaking out because she's like where did this nickel come from that it is like in the mud where this dude had been watching me um she asked Jake she's like can I get like motion sensor notifications through the app and he's like yeah but then it's like a lot of logistics of like but it'll like you'll also get the squirrels that run past and
she's like yeah maybe we'll like I'll turn that feature on in the future um and then Jake's like all right well like hope I see you around because Aiden frequently feels like the third wheel with me and my wife and great to meet you um Aiden gets to her place later that night says he's like so sorry my meeting went long I'm gonna go put like a tarp on the roof and she's like but it's dark and he's like okay so and she's like well what if you fall like it's dark out right right right and
he's like well one I don't fall two what happens if I do like why why does that matter like kind of just being like getting her to admit that like she cares so she in which I'm like her husband just died man this all feels real soon um yeah he puts the tarp up she writes another letter to Dante like responding while he's putting the tarp up it's very rambling like it's just a lot of like I don't really know what's up what's down I'm like not doing well Everything feels
chaotic like just kind of that kind of energy um but then she's like do I send it do I not she's like I'm just gonna put it in my desk drawer like not gonna send this letter um then Aiden it like it felt like Aiden like puts the tarp up and like leaves without saying goodbye and she's like what like that why did you leave without saying goodbye like yeah that's weird right all of it's kind of weird um it's like she's not thrilled about it she's sitting there with the buffalo
nickel trying to figure out her life trying to figure out how her dead husband's buffalo nickel ended up in the yard with a dude I've been watching her that she hears the floorboards Creek in her bedroom above her head like someone is walking above her I don't I don't like that no neither did Scooby-Doo or Kayla or yeah yeah that's fair so um she like checks makes sure that her new alarm system is indeed armed um like here's it again goes to check nothing is out of place
um and so she's like so weird and when she goes downstairs and like turns on her kitchen lights all of the cabinet doors are open all of the doors are open all the cabinet doors are open and she's like feels like she's being watched suddenly like a jar of honey flies off the shelf shatters on the ground so this isn't relevant to this whole parent well it is but so my husband back in the day he was a manager for a department that had 24-hour shifts so every now and then he would have to go
in on Third and cover right and there's one building where he worked where nobody really like no patients were there it was a healthcare facility no patients lived there or stayed there or anything um but sometimes staff would use it um if they had like a second to first shift or something like that so they would use it for breaks or they would use it to sleep instead of driving all the way home so when he knew whenever he worked third and he knew that someone was staying
there would he [ __ ] with them he would [ __ ] with them 100 because the rumor was that that building was haunted anyway so he would like open all the kitchen cabinets he would put all of the chairs on top of the kitchen table um it was like a little cabin situation so he put all the the chairs on the kitchen table he once spelled help with wooden coffee stirrers did people ever catch on that it was him no incredible just the legend that that building was haunted gained More Steam
I would lose my [ __ ] like if I were like the one sleeping there then those things happened yeah hey there's my puppies we'll get you right back to the show in just a moment but first do you like us maybe maybe love us cause we sure love you if you do love us don't tease us at least in those ratings and reviews wherever you're listening right now maybe even send us over to a special sexy someone that would enjoy getting smutty with us because you know the first rule of smug
Club is to talk about smut Club all right I won't keep you any longer let's get back to the show [Music] like in my heart I wanna believe that I'd be like there's a rational explanation someone is just like pulling pranks right I don't but I don't I don't know if that would be the case it would freak me out much like a freaked Kayla out so she understandably ran into her office like locks the door wedges herself between like the couch and the wall and just like sits there and like trembles until
sunrise um but in the morning she wakes up like starts kind of rationalizing things and like doesn't really trust her memory and she's like maybe I opened all of the drawers like I don't know like I'm not I haven't been in a good place um she starts cleaning up the kitchen and sits down to work on um one of her illustrative projects to meet her deadline um but instead of like working on the illustrative project she starts sketching the dude that had been in her yard and she's like he looks like
Vaguely Familiar but I can't like I can't figure it out I can't place it um she does look at on her desk a wedding photo of her and Michael and she notices on her arm there's a thumb print shaped bruise in the picture in the picture from her wedding photo and she's like I feel like I'm missing something here like I'm missing a piece of all of this um Aiden calls he tells her to come over she's like okay I'll be there in 10 I'm like what we really whatever so they bang I imagine yeah I'm just
like not a huge fan of them but like they are the book but that like obviously there's a lot of other stuff to the book but I'm like it's been like two weeks man I don't know he answers the door like she jumps on and like they like jump on each other immediately she asked why he left out saying goodbye he like doesn't like really give her an answer um they decide on a safe word cheesy no cheesy is their safe word terrible I couldn't keep a straight face saying that no no bubbles
um he like tells her she's his that she'll orgasm when he tells her she can come um says he wants all of her like physical emotional Spirit like just this very I'm like very possessive I'm like okay you offered her a deal on her roof you guys met at a bar she freaked out y'all [ __ ] once you came back to her house you're telling her she's yours like right I just can't get into it um um but he's like I want all of you and she's like okay and he's like you're not ready yet like he does have the
wherewithal to recognize like I want these things with you something's going on right it doesn't really seem like you're there but that doesn't prevent them from having great sex he cleans her after the sex how do you feel about those scenes when like they like go get like a a wet washcloth um I feel like there are some times yeah it depends it depends sometimes it's like that's really sweet and thoughtful and other times it's like yeah I don't like it no that's very fair
he falls asleep after this she's laying awake wondering if she was a good wife like having kind of this like a digital crisis um we then learn while she's sitting there pondering all this that her husband fell off their boat and drowned yes and she was with him and like heard laughter all around her but she's like who could I tell that to I'd sound [ __ ] crazy and it's very Double Jeopardy yeah do you remember that Ashley Judd movie wasn't it actually cut it was Ashley
yeah thank you was it it was a judge sister it wasn't Winona was it Winona it was not Winona sorry and then like the boat had like drifted off in the dark kind of energy um in the morning there's more sex it's also now escalated where like she's calling him like sir or master in the bedroom uh so here's the thing right like I I'm not I don't kink shame no you do your thing and at the same time usually when an honorific like that is used there's a big discussion beforehand about that happening
yeah like the context for it and what it means and what it entails they clearly skipped several steps I feel like that's the theme of their relationship right like he like tells her to like ask permission to speak and like she needs permission to speak like in sexual scenes like not like okay okay needs permission to come she sits on his face which is apparently a first for her because he's like sit on my face and she's like permission to speak and he's like
yeah and she's like I don't know how to do that I'm like it's it's gravity baby girl like day 69 orgasms all around okay I thought we could just wrap that scene up real fast thank you they discussed their relationship um again a little too late uh yeah it's like all of their conversations are like the post-coinal Afterglow and I'm like no no we needed a pre-coital not post right pre um but he's also like in this conversation he's like I'm really into you but like I don't want to
get hurt and like should I call it now because I know you have some [ __ ] you need to like work through um they talk about it over breakfast he tells her he's building a house um on the island so like he's living above the bar while he's working on building this house because he's doing a lot of it single-handedly um they once again talk about like the parameters of their relationship because she's like can I see the house there am I allowed to see the house like what what are we where
are we yeah um she gets in her car and drives home but when she gets in her car on the dashboard of her car is the 1937 d-type Buffalo Nickel nope no Hannah that's what happened you can't just say nope that is the book no I don't like that that's creepy yes I mean I usually like creepy things but that's different level of creepy well so like she freaks out because she vividly remembers putting the quarter in her drawer also worth noting because I think I forgot to say this earlier that like
um she'd specifically ask Fiona like not to clean Michael's office she's like I'm not ready to go in there I'm not ready to touch anything and she's like that's where the nickel would have been so like right how do they get out and nickel is following her then Nicole is following her not someone's placing the nickel no the nickel is fine the nickel itself is sentient and following her yes so she gets home she like looks out the window into her backyard and
there's like a little boy playing in her backyard don't like that either and she's like what like where is this child's mom so she goes outside and then like the boy is gone she can't find the little boy it was just playing in her backyard is this having like a stress-induced psychotic episode right now maybe maybe not I'm not going to ruin the book for you um but she's like I'll check the security tape and so when she goes to check the security tape it's all fuzzy like it's all like
there's no footage like it's all pixelated or like static or something yeah um in the morning the alarm goes off like waking her up and Fiona is there to clean and Fiona turns off like the house alarm and Kayla's like how did you get the code like how did you know the code it was like how do you how do you think I got the code okay let's like I guess I gave it to you I just don't remember and Fiona's like yeah you did sure like kind of I don't know just like this weird interaction I I
[ __ ] with Fiona well we'll learn more about Fiona um like Fiona can tell that Kayla's out of sorts and she's like maybe there's a ghost in the house right she's like do you believe in ghost and Kayla's like I don't I don't think I believe in ghosts and Fiona's like well they believe in you like yeah and so Fiona's like maybe we should have a seance like get rid of the ghost in the house like have these things been happening have you like noticed like lights flickering and things moving and
like are you having lapses in your memory and she's like yeah into all of the above yes and Fiona's like well my sister is a medium and like of course she is yes um and Fiona's like yeah I'll call my sister we'll see what happens if you're if you're engaging with the ghost it's important to not tell the ghosts they're dead they don't always like that I just love Fiona you're like it's a very Sixth Sense thing to say yes yes it is like they're talking about like how temperamental ghosts are
um that it's humans jobs like help them find closure um but yeah like Kayla tells Fiona about like the headaches and the memory loss and like also about like the little boy in the yard and all like The Oddities that have been happening um and then she because she's like I don't know here's the thing I you never know what the [ __ ] Kayla's gonna do Kayla isn't like you know what I should do I should mail my rambling letter to Dante my prison pen pal okay not daunton Dante I got better see um
and then she like goes to mail the letter to Dante and then suddenly it Dawns on her that like she's like maybe the ghost is Michael good and you're like oh maybe who can say so it's now oh brilliant deductive reasoning there Kayla listen Kayla's making it at this point um is she Kayla's barely making it at this point she it's a week later she gets a letter from Dante um and oh because I think in her rambling letter she like said something like what are you in jail for like I don't even
know and he's like I'm I'm in jail for loving someone too much and doing nope and doing what love required of me that is a more emphatic no than the sentient nickel for me yeah nope doing what love required of me I nope um Aiden calls and he's like why haven't you called me and she's like uh was I so like what was I supposed to and he's like well I was giving you space to sort yourself out but then I hadn't heard from you and like then they're just kind of she's like
well you could have called me bro and so he's like all right well come over now like get get here because I miss my sweet bunny I just [ __ ] I hate it I really hate it um oh then my notes say I don't know man long oddly aggressive sex scene where she calls a master he chases his Bunny and kicks in the bedroom door ends with anal bedroom door and this like game they're playing he kicks in his own bedroom door he's committed to the game I'm like I know like sexual scene like
like yeah like it's I'm like that's just a lot man you're like [ __ ] kicked in your own bedroom door she starts crying after sex just from like the emotional overload he asks what she needs um they talk a little bit about him like walking away mid-conversation like not necessarily answering her questions like because I think that's that's the other part that's like really frustrating me reading this is that like he's very Elusive and so it's very much like
you're my little bunny I want all of you but like you don't get all of me yeah like we don't [ __ ] know any like they're not from what we're reading like there's not real conversations happening I'm like they're just banging yes yeah like which is fair that's fine but like which is fine but like oddly aggressively intimate for people that you're like have we built that intimacy no no we [ __ ] have him Chelsea said let me answer that question for you the answer is no it wasn't rhetorical here's
your answer he draws her a bath gets her his one gets her a wine it's like bringing in cheese for her to nibble on well now I'm on board with Aiden you're like he passes that's the shift do I have to call him Master maybe will he hand feed me cheese in the bathtub worth it um she like is debating telling him about Michael and is like I should give him more detail he does admit we do officially learn he killed his father nice to protect his mother because his dad was an abusive piece of [ __ ]
um he assumes like Michael is hurting her from kind of like the vague things that she's saying and is like I'll kill him for you well that escalated right he's like I'm falling for you I'll kill him for you after the bathtub he goes down on her I I really hate the term [ __ ] nibbling I feel like that right and I feel like that's on your face the Grimace oh my God okay nibble is a word I do not [ __ ] with in sex scenes and books nibble and slippery should be banned
I can deal with slippery I cannot deal with slippery Slippery Nipples the worst I hated everything about that um so the next morning he takes her to see his property it's beautiful like the frame is up there's no drywall or anything yet um he asks if she wants kids in the future they're just right like it all feels disjointed yeah she tells him that she had a miscarriage when she was pretty far along um but then like like the memories blocked like she can't remember all of it and
she is like kind of freaked out by that no she lost her child at some point um they kiss it heats up the weird bunny sex thing continues literally here are the quotes I have from this scene and I hate everything about this and I apologize in advance such a hungry lion I hope you can run on an empty stomach she takes off into the woods he catches her real quote my naughty little rabbit needs to get [ __ ] in the woods doesn't she I'm going to [ __ ] you so hard bunny
you're going to take your Master's [ __ ] on your hands and knees totally naked in the middle of the Woods I hate you a little bit I just looked over at my husband and he's just slowly nodding in the corner like he's like what the [ __ ] are you reading oh my god oh also that's not the end of the scene Jesus Christ can it be I'll wrap it up real quick that's what she said apparently she didn't I've had no conversations about rapping oh um so like she gets away again in the
woods he catches her he holds her against a tree while he spanks her ass and continues once again I think in a very non-sexy way more quotes my little [ __ ] [ __ ] time to take your Masters come there's one thumb in her ass one thumb in her mouth well he [ __ ] her in the woods I know it's not a question I wish you guys can see Chelsea's hand gestures right now because they're so exaggerated they're just oh my God the scene was exaggerated enough I didn't need that I mean
I also feel like Vance and I have been unintentionally mirroring each other just putting our heads in our hands and shaking our heads because we need it to stop [Laughter] my outline like my notes just say there is nothing arousing like I was like oh I think that was around the part that I was like I changed my mind I can't I can't do this do I even want to finish this book um he does break like he breaks down afterwards and like gets really emotional and then like it's like that
was too much and we we really didn't talk about sexual boundaries in that capacity and then she's like comforting him and it's like no like I was here for it um they go back to his place they shower again he bandages all of her wounds from the cuts and scrapes from the forest floor sure yeah um Kayla gets home she finds Fiona cleaning Michael's office oh no and she's like didn't I ask you not to clean in here and Fiona's like did you I don't remember and Kayla's like yeah please leave this
office alone and she's like okay no big deal so um Fiona's like hey I spoke to my sister about the Seance she said we need to do it at the next full moon which is like three weeks from now and Kayla's like I don't think we need to do the Seance I think I'm gonna try therapy instead good call right um Fiona how will a therapist help your ghost problem I'm like I just love Fiona's energy out here um this whole conversation is still happening in Michael's office and
um Kayla looks on Michael's desk and sees like a newspaper folded over and it's an article that has like a picture of Michael that says local man drowns and she's like hasn't seen this newspaper article before is like very upset about it um but it's also like I don't remember bringing this paper and like did fionaire like how did this paper end up on my dead husband's desk about my dead husband um she goes up to her bedroom and sees like a human body shaped like
indent like on like the side of the bed that like Michael always slept on like that's been made this whole time right um like the the doorbell keeps ringing no one is there she's just like getting more and more frazzled so she she calls Eddie for his therapist recommendation Stoner handyman Eddie she's like hey man what you got for me she's like he sounds high as [ __ ] um and he's like yeah my therapist's name is Dr David Letterman and she's like like the guy on TV and he's like no like
my therapist we're here for Eddie we really are um so but she's like I can tell Eddie's hi this conversation's not really going anywhere um but he like tells her like he's like yeah he's in this office building at this intersection so when they hang up um she tries to go online she cannot find Dr David Letterman online and show so she's like okay you know what instead I'm just going to go to the office building and see if I can like schedule an appointment there so as she like pulls up to the
office building and parks and is getting out of her car there's a restaurant across the street and when she turns around she sees Aiden walking in with his armor around a curvy brunette uh oh and she's like oh [ __ ] and like hops in her car like he's like I'm just gonna leave never mind right but it's like sitting in her car kind of freaking out there's a knock on her window Aiden saw her and I was like what are you doing here she's like oh I was just out running
errands and he's like why are you lying to me like there's clearly and he's like he's very unhappy that she's lying to him um and then she's like I saw you on a date I didn't want to be weird it's weird I'm just gonna go and he's like get out of the car and she's like okay so she follows him into the restaurant we then meet Deb it was Jake's wife oh yes that like they've all known each other since high school Deb is super excited to meet her it's like I've heard so much about you oh my gosh
and then Kayla ends up joining them for dinner and then she's like Kayla's kind of sitting there pondering how she got here because life has escalated a lot that like her husband died now she's on this like [ __ ] double date yeah we took a sharp left yes she like I'm just kind of sitting there like zoned out spinning her wedding ring like having an existential crisis and clearly like misses a question that Deb asks so she's like what sorry yeah sure whatever and Deb's like I need to go to the
bathroom why don't you come with me do I think it's weird the girls always go to the bathroom together sure it's never been my thing I've never I've never needed a companion to travel with me to the bathroom not for those reasons like well I'm also like how long is your girl talk gonna [ __ ] be right I don't know I even our Middle School bathroom like the girl's bathroom had a couch in it what not a nice couch maybe I misremembering I don't I don't know but that seems like
a lot it was it was a lot I I do remember feeling that um so she goes to the bathroom with Deb Deb's just like a sweet angel baby who we love um when they get back to the table like Aiden and Jake like stop talking very quickly like I have clearly been in an argument and then Jake confronts her about like don't like toy with my my man here he's my best friend he's been through a lot of [ __ ] he deserves everything in the world so like what are what the [ __ ] are you doing
like clearly like looking at her wedding ring and she's like sorry I've been through like a really big life transition recently I'm separated from my husband um that still doesn't really like tell has not told anyone that her husband is dead I'm not understanding that why are we not just saying that yeah exactly that's like a lot of conversation you're like it'd really clear a lot of [ __ ] up if you just like admitted this yeah um but what she does also say at the table is like
oh she's like I'm really struggling through this big life transition but I will say sorry y'all here's what just happened I'm gonna tell you all of the details of what just happened I felt something crawl and hit my foot yeah it was Hannah's wedding ring that's like a silicone ring that fell off her hand when she was playing with it I'm gonna grab it real fast but it's like a darker it's a really pretty ring thank you yes I really like it um it's like a purple and green iridescent
but the way it was rolling and the way it felt on my foot I thought like a cockroach was crawling on my foot and I was trying to keep my [ __ ] together and then it fell on its side and it was just Hannah's ring so sorry I will say my husband plays with his silicone wedding ring all the time and like we were in a Mexican restaurant and I just see it like like mid-conversation where they're with his parents I see it just like fly out of his hand and I was like
well that's gone like I was like we're not crawling around this Mexican restaurant fun to fiddle with it is it's just enjoyable I'll try to not do that right now no when um when I'm working out a lot I'll wear like my silicone ring and I feel like I'm always like playing with it yeah I don't know anyone who has a silicone ring who doesn't play with it but I will say I want thousand percent thought that ships a cockroach on my foot and was like keep it together Chelsea you're fine
um okay so she like admits that she's had this big life transition she separated from her husband but then she also tells them she's like yeah when I saw um when I saw Aiden have his arm around Deb I like it really made me realize how much I care about him how in this I am and how much I like want to be in this and agent's like me too and then they kiss and then she looks over his shoulder and sees the dude from her backyard who'd been spying on her in like the front
window at the restaurant watching her um and then like she like has a moment Aiden's like is everything okay and then when she looks back the dude is once again gone and she's like yeah sorry I just like I thought I saw someone that I knew um when they leave the restaurant items like you'll be punished for lying to me it's like can we not with the [ __ ] spanking anymore so much spanking yeah in this book so much spanking I I didn't need it he like they're talking and he's like
call me when you have some clarity like I like you you like me you have a lot on your plate call me when you have some clarity and she's like when what like what does that mean what what do you mean by that and he's like when you're ready to take off your wedding ring like that ah that'll be a probably win he's like now kindly get out of my car that gets kind of like the energy here so the next day she's like decided she's going to drive back to Dr Letterman's uh
Dr David Letterman's office but then on her way past she passes a psychic and is like who needs a therapist and you can have a psychic she's like 10 reading you son of a [ __ ] I'm in oh um when she knocks on the door this like little old woman opens the door like just like stands here and stares at her for a second then closes it again and she's like the [ __ ] so she like knocks again and then a much younger like clearly the woman's daughter and she's like oh yeah
come in for a reading blah blah blah and so um she they're like okay what do you want to ask the deck like for your tarot reading and she's like how do I move on for like how how do how to move on from my husband essentially um several intriguing cards get pulled if you will the Ten of Swords the lover and the death card and the psychic is being like you've had a betrayal your current love life will cause you great pain there are things you need to purge of
your life from your old baggage because it's weighing you down and like she's like what like I don't know what to do with all of this and then she was like do you want to pull an extra card to see kind of like what you should be like purging yourself from and she pulls the magician um and then the psychic is like you need to let go of your Illusions she's like yeah exactly deep sigh I hope the ten dollars was worth it she like tries to pay and leave and the psychic is like it's on the house I'm
praying for you no right um Kayla writes a letter to Dante more rambling confused about life tells him she's failing in love tells him about um fiance Fiona's Seance not fiance Fiona suggested Seance Dante responds and he's like you're not controlling the storm and you're not lost in it like you are the storm like you are the one with the power right who needs therapy when you have a prison pen pal not Kayla Kayla needs a lot of things none of which are to be called little bunny yeah
um so it's now two weeks later she still hasn't seen Dante the doorbell keeps ringing no one is there every time she checks like when she pulls it up like no one is there um she hears laughter and the little boy is back and she's like wait is this the child I miscarried like she's like really trying to like connect all these dots here um she is staring through the window and the little boys in the yard he sees her they make eye contact he like screams at the top of his lungs and so she like
goes outside to try and talk to him when she goes outside he's not there and then when she looks up he's standing in her bedroom window looking down at her but she's like we would have crossed paths in the house like right how did all this work um so she's like [ __ ] this force herself a very large wine the lights flicker she goes to bed she's like I don't even care anymore truly yeah like she texts Aiden and she's like I miss you and he's like I miss you too and she's like can I see
you he's like are you still wearing your wedding ring it's like no and he's like did you take it off right before you text me she's like maybe and then and then she's like can I come over master I'm like it's weird stop it's weird no one needs this [ __ ] um so once again she pours herself more wine decides to go to bed um Fiona comes over looks at Kayla and she's like you are not doing great and ask Fiona she's like Fiona what do you do when someone's giving you space
You don't want and she was like you mean like they they closed the door but you want it open and she's like yeah and she's like knock nice right I like that we like Fiona's energy here Fiona the doorbell rings again there's no one there like Fiona like goes to answer it there's no one there um the television turns on and like more light bulbs explode and then Kayla's like yeah so maybe let's just do that [ __ ] Seance like it's time let's do it um Kayla responds to Dante's letter
about her being the storm and it's like I feel like she's like your storm advice wasn't really helpful I feel like I'm drowning I feel like I need a life vest like I need something to save me like I'm not doing great um so the full moon is now like the next day Fiona and her sister Claire show up Claire's just as great as Fiona we're loving their energy here and it's like the perfect creepy night all of the rain in Seattle the wind all of that kind of [ __ ] and Claire's like I
think we need to have the Seance like the spirits are directing me to have this in Michael's office and so they're going to Michael's office Claire's like you need to remove um any jewelry any phones anything of that capacity um you need to take off your wedding ring and so she takes it off and puts it in her pocket she's like not on your person like we want it out of the room so she like puts it on the desk um like on like right on top like the news article about Michael
um the Seance begins and like the spirit is like responding like like Claire's very much doing like knock yes for once knock twice for no kind of questions and it's like okay did you know um did you know anyone in this room when you were alive like are you the only Spirit yes like did you know anyone in this room when you were alive like was it Fiona was it me no no was it Kayla yes um and then or Claire's like what what do you want like what are you needing and then it starts writing
through her like Claire like a ghost possession situation yeah like her hand starts shaking and then on the paper the word that's written is Revenge and then like the wind gets crazy all the candles go out Kayla feels like a brush of something against her face and like loses her [ __ ] and screams and runs out of the room Fiona and Claire follow they find Kayla in the kitchen cowering like in a ball all of the cabinet doors are open again um and they're like do you want to
continue and she's like no I [ __ ] don't I don't I don't want to continue thank you for asking um the doorbell rings and she's like no one's gonna be there when they go and open the door there's a life vest there ah yes and so she was like wait I think I I think I know who's haunting me I think it's Dante she's like because I told Dante in that letter I needed a lie fast suddenly there's a life vest outside the door and so Claire had initially been like yeah I have a few
like it's a full moon it's a busy night for for mediums and then she's like I'm Gonna Cancel my other appointments for tonight because this just got juicy and so Kayla goes and gets all of Dante's letters and so they like start looking through all of them um and she like Claire's like have did you ever end up calling the detective to see if he knows him and she's like I didn't and they're like you should call so um when she like she finally decides she's gonna call the detective to ask
then Claire goes to get Kayla's laptop to also look up Dante um when she comes back with the laptop the 1937 D type buffalo nickel is on top of it and then suddenly Kayla's wedding ring falls through the ceiling and like lands on the table what oh no yes um I will also say if you have any interest in reading this book which you must be in to bunnies or [ __ ] if you are gonna read it um from here on out it's pretty much like all spoilers like it's not spoilers
because it's the end of the book but like it will ruin all of the secrets and surprises for you so like it might be worth bowing out now um or just like if you want to keep fast forwarding until we get to the ratings um yeah I'm not gonna read this so no tell me no you will not I will not if you do I have more questions um so yeah the wedding ring drops for the ceiling the storm keeps getting worse it's getting crazier it's getting louder and then Claire is like you need to call
the detective right now like we don't have much time and Kayla's like what like what do you even mean what yes so Kayla calls she's like can you connect me to like detective Peters and he's like are you a friend or like like the front desk lady is like are you a friend of his and she's like no he helped me with like a a case a few months ago and the lady's like well I can't connect you I'm afraid that's not possible he's he passed away from Sudden cardiac arrest what and
Kayla's like the [ __ ] and like just like ends the phone call doesn't know what to do um Claire opens the laptop because she's like well let's look up who owns the house before you and then the like it's like why is the deed under someone else's name and Kayla's like it shouldn't be it should be under like Michael and Kayla Reese but the house um was bought by another couple in January of this year and her husband like the accident was like New Year's Eve um and then she like hears the little
boy running around again and she's like how does he fit into all of this like everything is just like building chaos in this moment right is Caleb dead who can say well can you please because I wouldn't know I'm gonna get there I'm gonna get there real fast so um Claire says that she's going to call like the um the police station back and is like hey sorry my friend just called um wanting to speak with this detective um she was hoping to send flowers to the funeral
um how long ago did he pass or so just dropped by this news they're like oh like you missed the funeral like he died six months ago and Kayla's like no he couldn't have died six months ago I spoke with him on my on my doc two months ago about all of this um and then Claire's like you have to understand here that there's very few people who can communicate with Spirits mediums true psychics cats people with schizophrenia gifted children and other ghosts although they don't recognize
each other as such and then as pieces have already clicked for you Hannah pieces start to click for Kayla uh-huh where like Fiona's shock at seeing her after the funeral oh um and being like Oh so like you're staying here and like none of the roofers ever calling her back when she was trying to get quotes and like how the security system would only show static it like was not actually showing her anything so Kayla like starts freaking out starts sobbing and then goes to get Eddie's
business card she's like no like Eddie I just I spoke with him and then when she picks it up like she realizes it's like old and dated and like looks like it was printed a long time ago and calls the number and they pick up and they're like Homefront handyman like three generations strong and she's like I need to speak with Eddie and they're like is this a joke she's like no I need to speak with Eddie and he's like my grandfather died in 1974.
uh oh so Kayla starts like freaking out more and more and then Fiona is like called her name and holds out Dante's envelope and is like read the name and Kayla reads it and is like Dante aligari so what and Kayla and Fiona's like no see it like really look at it then when she looks at it the letters start rearranging themselves and it says Aiden layrite Lee right whatever the [ __ ] his name is and it's an anagram for Dante sure yeah see that's why there are so many [ __ ] vowels
no one accept any vowels um Kayla like starts losing her [ __ ] more runs into Michael's office unfolds the newspaper and the the full title of the article says local man drowns wife oh [ __ ] she starts screaming the windows shatter Fiona and Claire like run into the office and then she looks like sees the little boy like cowering behind them um and then Kayla like realizes she's like oh that little boy lives here with his parents who bought this house in January right right right
um also realized and she's like it finally like she finally remembers she finally realizes Michael didn't die Aiden did Michael killed him and then killed her so now we get a little more context yeah it's all making sense now right I mean not really but like maybe you got a system belief for like this entire [ __ ] yeah um so we switched to Fiona's perspective and Fiona's like like Bennett is the little boy his mom runs in she's like you should take him and get far away
from this office Kayla has suddenly disappeared from where she'd been standing we then switched to Aiden's perspective like this is just like a monologue for Aiden like there's not there's not action sets so we're just like this is where a lot of the pieces connect okay so we learn he is a convicted felon he did indeed kill his father when he was a juvenile and was protecting his mother he is very much in love with Kayla um Kayla and Michael married very young before Michael's mental illness got
really bad and he decompensated um Michael is indeed a mathematic genius who worked at the University um but he also was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenia and narcissistic personality disorder what a double whammy well and also also how they kind of describe it in the book is like yeah when you combine a narcissist with a very paranoid person you have someone who's not gonna like be consistent in a treatment regimen right um and so he keeps going off of his meds
um Michael and Kayla had separated after he kicked her in the stomach while she was pregnant oh um and caused her to miscarry because he thought aliens or some [ __ ] like that had impregnated her and then he like continued to decompensate um then after their separation he started following her so the dude following her was her ex-husband and all of these like glimpses right um and then like I guess the first time that there had been any like maybe awareness that Michael wasn't
doing great was the day before their wedding some small things that I'm off rattled him and he like grabbed her arm and left the Bruce uh the thumbprint uh-huh so then we go back we're now back to Kayla four months ago um she had just separated from Michael it's like holds a little funeral um and berries like in the backyard a box that has like their marriage license her wedding rings and like their sonogram photo um and then goes to Aiden's house and he's like do you finally have the
clarity you need like and she's like I do and then um they start making out he throws her on his bed she lands on a book it's a book of poetry it's the Divine Comedy by Dante Alighieri I'm [ __ ] up that man's name I'm so sorry everyone um then like they're like discussing the book discussing that their names are are anagrams and they have this like beautiful four months together and then we get to the accident on New Year's Eve where Kayla and Aiden had decided they
were going to take the boat out to watch the fireworks when they get on the boat Michael is there and has a gun pulled um and Kayla like it like clicked she's like oh [ __ ] like Michael's like he looks home like I think he might be like living on the boat um oh yeah like really not doing well at all um Michael thinks Aiden is CIA and is like trying to steal his like math formulas Kayla's trying to intercede and is then Michael like thinks she's CIA too um Aiden's like trying to be the Martyr
and like get Kayla off the boat right and just a very chaotic scene as a whole um Michael ends up shooting Aiden she like throws herself on Aiden's body he ends up like pistol whipping her she comes too as he's like tossing her overboard and then she's like he reaches for and she's like oh he's realized like something is clicked like he's going to help me out of the water and instead he strangles her on her neck yeah got it on her neck um and then his buffalo nickel falls
into the water like while he's drowning her um and that like fireworks are happening and he's laughing while she takes her last breath because he just not well so that's one way to say it yes um Kayla awakens and it's like the present again if you will she's she's not alive and she like sits up and like looks around the house and is like yeah this these aren't my decorations this isn't my furniture like it's my house but it's not my house um and we learn like the new owners had
kept Fiona on and so like when like Fiona turned off the alarm they had given her when she was like how do you think so then like when Fiona was like you can't tell a ghost they're dead right right it's like all of these things um and then the doorbell rings and when she goes and opens the door it's Aiden and it had been him writing her like trying to communicate and like get to her the entire time and he's like did you like the life let the life fast and she's like nice touch it's kind of
like tonally and then she's like but why were the letters from the State Penitentiary like what and he's like she was like was that where you were is that a something about your past and he's like no that's a hint for the future that's where Michael is and they're like let's go haunt him what a romantic anything and then we get to the epilogue which is a forensic interview of Michael who is like honestly thinking about cluster B um I think it reads a little more like
anti-social narcissistic like not just narcissistic I'm like more of like a cluster B situation yes I'm like it's not just narcissists yeah from like hell maybe that's just my perspective um but like because Michael's like I shouldn't be locked up people with genius IQ shouldn't be like I'm a contributing member of society I was having a psychotic episode like I shouldn't be held accountable and they're like well if you're saying like you are mentally fit to stand trial
then that doesn't matter right you can't have both um and so like wow like and he's just like being a complete Michael's being such a dick to the doctor like this entire time and um then the doctor is like yeah if you're deemed mentally competent to stand trial like there will be evidence that's introduced um of you having an affair with that woman who was like sobbing at the funeral of you taking a life insurance policy out on your wife like all of these different things but
while he's talking to him suddenly Michael's fixated on the wall behind him and then starts like freaking out and is like it's them and they're like he is responding to internal stimuli and then he's like stop saying that word and the doctor's like what are they saying and Michael goes Boo and that's how the entire [ __ ] book ends what yeah so what a journey it was such a roller coaster because early on I was like I'm here for the injury I'm here for the suspense I'm
here for the sexy Scooby-Doo then we just went sexually weird for a very long time in a way that I could not get on board with this is like the Sixth Sense meets um A Beautiful Mind yes also my husband is sitting here like these are all of the words he wants to say yeah that's what this is this is a sixth sense Means A Beautiful Mind meets double dip Double Jeopardy is what it is and some Poltergeist and a little bit of Scooby-Doo yeah so quick pivot during um work this week we were had a team
meeting and there was a question asked that was like okay if you had to choose a male and female actress to play you in a movie who would you choose they don't have to look like you it's just like who you'd want to play you and I chose Kristen Wiig nice um but then I was like I can't think of a male to like play me and I I have some chronic laryngitis issues and my co-worker goes Chelsea I'm getting strong Matthew Lillard Vibes for you and she's like I think he could do a lot with your
laryngitis um and I was like reading this book and already had the term sexy Scooby-Doo in my head I was just thinking about when he was Shaggy I'm like to be totally fair though like I love Matthew Lillard though he's he's very endearing they're definitely yes well and I was like I'll go with Matthew Lillard because I can't think of anything else and then when they circled back to me at the end of the meeting they're like have you thought of anyone I was like I'll keep
Matthew Lillard but I'll also maybe throw in Owen Wilson yeah I can see it yeah um so maybe Matthew Lillard will start in the movie adaptation of pen pal that would be awesome well because like all right reading the premise of pen pal I was so intrigued because the premise was really like gets a letter from the State Penitentiary that's like I'll wait forever and she's like for what for you and then like there's a it's like it's something to the effect of there's a knock on the door
and it's her pen pal or like something like that but I'm like okay nowhere in here do we mention [ __ ] ghosts like I wasn't really expecting the Paranormal side of it so I was like okay I'm here for this but it was such a journey and I disliked so much of the journey I like that it ended with them haunting the dude right um I don't know I feel so conflicted about this book well I feel like our rating scale should be nickels I was gonna go with Scooby Snacks oh yep Scooby Snacks is better
like depending on different parts of the book I would give it varying levels of Scooby Snacks sure like up until like 40 I'd probably give it like four out of five Scooby Snacks eight out of ten yeah I can math um I can't I'm so [ __ ] at math um as we all know everyone here has heard me trying math so many things at this point um but then I feel like I like go like 1.5 or two Scooby Snacks out of five that might still be generous two out of ten Scooby snacks that feels too low three foreign
do you like just hearing my internal process I'm loving it break it down well then I'm like okay like I feel like when it got weird and there was the weird sex in the forest I was like that we're down to like yeah two one Scooby Snack no matter which way you slice it you only get one right but then like how it ended and wrapped up it kind of redeemed itself for me in some ways right [ __ ] man so what I'm gathering is that we're looking at like a three out of five I
was literally I was like 2.5 out of five so five out of ten yeah I feel like a 50 is a really solid okay it has its moments it has its Ebbs and flows but I think that's where we average out to so five out of ten Scooby Snacks is my the is the highest I can go that's my final offer I will accept I know you aren't gonna read it would you rate it a different number of Scooby Snacks no I mean I like the idea of the story is pretty cool and unique that's not I hadn't read something like it yeah yeah
it's Unique so I feel like that bumps it a little and also if you can't get through the sex scenes without going or like a full body like cringe then that's gonna bring it down so I feel like 50 makes sense sucking my clits like milking a nipple stop it I just did have a full body cringe I didn't like that I don't like that no there's nothing arousing about it no it was nothing arousing about stupid thing to say I just don't okay now the word nibble can get can get the [ __ ] out
I'm not here for it okay five Scooby Snacks final offer let us know what you guys would rate it let us know what you think this one I feel like is a really it could be very polarizing I feel uh that's yes that's literally what I was about to say I was like I feel like I can see it going either way not for me um but for some people I could see it going either way I agree I think it'll be really polarizing because I will say I feel like when I first pulled it up on
Goodreads there were a lot of like five star reviews and then I feel like the last time I put it up on Goodreads the first review I saw was like one star and I was like I get it because I hadn't finished it and now I'm a little bit further so I'm like 2.5 like on Goodreads since you have to round down like you can't do like half like I would give it two not three on Goodreads yeah I feel like there are some books that'll do a half rating and I'll like round up I think this one I
would I would round down I feel like that's fair I mean yeah so thanks for going on that all the way around that Journey yeah all the way oh [ __ ] hell um I think we all need a palette cleanser after that Journey yeah I'm gonna uh probably need some more rum for to if I'm going to be able to continue remember when I told you I needed alcohol for that one I do remember and you get you you get it I do so we hope that all of you are responsibly enjoying whatever you choose to partake in to relax
thank you guys for joining us we love you we miss you let us know your thoughts we can't wait to hear him have a good day bye smart [ __ ] for this week's mud [ __ ] we hope it was good for you cause it sure was great for us if you're digging what we're doing it would mean a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now maybe tell that sexy someone to Linda senior we love you we appreciate you we'll see you next week stay spotty [Music]