EP 17: Three Simple Rules

well hello all you beautiful people you know what time it is [Music] ladies and gents guys and dolls and everyone in between gather round get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on because it's time for smut club here's your hosts chelsea and hannah [Applause] hey y'all hi everyone welcome to smug club i'm hannah i'm chelsea how you doing today you know great wonderful how are you you know i think i've been asking our listeners i just decided that you met me i meant

everyone oh i guess it was the colloquial we how we doing today how y'all doing how y'all doing how's everyone doing today um um not necessarily related to this i saw a tick tock earlier this week where someone was like can a white girl with a nose ring tell me what planets are making me sad right now and it cuts to a girl and she's like earth earth is what's making you sad right now oh and as a white girl with a nose ring with multiple nose rings i was like [ __ ] man yeah here we are so

let's just jump right in today we uh what do we got we have three simple rules by nikki sloane okay um it's the first nikki sloane book i had read i've read several sins i'd say it's probably my favorite that i had read of hers um there is plot what a refreshing change [Laughter] yeah so there is plot um there's also a lot of not plot so there are parts of my outline that i was like dying laughing i was like listen it's a chapter and a half of sex like like it's 28 straight pages of

descriptive language [Laughter] so we are still meeting expectations for our audience yes it's it definitely qualifies as smut um we aren't here for the great storytelling although some books we've read have great storytelling you know and jerry's out we'll go through this one see how we feel ultimately about the level of storytelling we open with evelyn evelyn evelyn um goes by evie really only her best friend can call her eevee no one out like everyone else calls her evelyn

so like depending on how close you are to her you can call her evie okay i don't know maybe i feel the same with like chelsea and when people call me chelse like there are people that i'm like i don't know you maybe don't call me charles sure right sure that probably happens less with hannah yeah nobody calls me han no no one's ever like hey han han no i hated that and your face was immediate regret oh man no no one has ever said hey han han well my other thought was it's still it's

still two syllables it is yeah so it's not shortened it's not helping anyone um i i knew a guy in grad school named sammer and he once met someone and he was like yeah what's up man my name's sammer and the dude was like oh short for sam and he was like i didn't know how to respond to that that's magnificent short for sam no there really aren't any good nicknames for hannah that are short it's all hannah banana or hannah montana or whatever so we went to our niece's um like

disney spectacular chorus performance it was like an hour and a half of middle school chorus performances i'm sorry that happened to you some of them you were like yes slay you are killing this and there are others that you're like there are just 50 of you on stage not knowing what the hell anyone is up to right now stay in school kiddos but it was funny because when i think disney's spectacular i think all of the classics right um and like they had like a hannah montana number and like

camp rock i think i don't know i'm not i don't know the the disney of the youths we're not hip to the jive of what the kids are doing with disney nowadays no i was like oh they have songs i guess we're listening to them but yeah the the little girl who had the hannah montana solo did like so great and it was really endearing and then there was like a lyrical dancer behind her that looked like she was doing an audition first so you think you can dance and i was like you are

this is very impressive for middle school um not all of it was something i could say that about so fair enough so back to three simple rules evelyn we have evelyn evie two were friends not hannah montana um she's out with her best friend peyton who is self-described maybe not self-described i don't know this book y'all um as a hooker with a heart of gold good for her yeah so they're out to eat and um peyton is a hooker with a heart of gold and evelyn is very much like she's like this

exotic escort and i'm mousy brown and like i'm pale in comparison next or like just in that like way that i feel like every girl describes herself at the start of a smart book yeah my girl has some confidence like i'm too curvier i'm too skinny or i'm too pale or my hair is too curly or whatever it's always like my hair is not quite curly and it's not quite straight so what is it i have questions also just hair style it right they make a mousse for that they make heating tools like there are

like so many different things you can do i have several non-heat no heat curling methods just dm me or something i'll send you a youtube i might also dm you know i'll send you a youtube perfect all right so hooker with a heart of gold is the best friend peyton and then evelyn is our main girl she's like i'm kind of nondescript and mousy brown and like whatever like i just like pale in comparison next my best friend so she is a graphic designer at a marketing company um

and she has this like douchey [ __ ] boss logan who had gotten promoted and kind of like became a tyrant and is like a dick and makes people cry and everyone hates them um so evelyn gets a project back from print that she's been working on is like so excited and then when she sees the final prints she's like [ __ ] they got like the legal warning label wrong on it she's like it was the placeholder that i had been using and i didn't check it first and like [ __ ] now they have to reprint all

of this and it's gonna be like thousands of thousands and thousands of dollars so she's like [ __ ] i don't know what to do so she goes and like has to like tell logan when she's like super like nervous and scared about and then she's like she really wants to move up in this company and so she's like trying to take ownership and she's like okay you know what i own that i [ __ ] up this project and i'm going to spend my own money to get these things reprinted because we can't ask the client to

absorb that cost right right and so logan is like cool that's gonna be like roughly 10 grand or like 12 grand or like something very yes not low number so then she thinks have her best friend peyton who's like been offering her and she's like hey like if you ever need my like come work with me and so my favorite line is she's like all right i'm gonna like save the project i'm about to become a [ __ ] that feels like it it escalated real quick everything in this book escalates real quick

there's no de-escalation it's just like oh we're doing this so she calls her best friend peyton and is like hey i'm gonna take you up on it i don't think like i'm probably not gonna do this long term but it's like maybe like a one night only and so peyton's like yeah baby how much do you think you're making it's a very exclusive sex club hannah okay okay very exclusive for one night of work all right well so we learned some details about this club along the way as well um we learn

as i said it's very exclusive um i believe there's a membership fee and the girls are blindfolded and so it's like you're strapped down on the table you're blindfolded you don't know who you're [ __ ] they come in you have like a sales assistant who's kind of like handling the bids and so i but i also think like being a one night only would like increase your value yeah you're an exclusive right right i don't know how much people normally pay for these things don't either but i'm pretty sure 10

grand is a bit much so i'm inclined to agree but nikki sloan is not so that's how we ended up here fair enough um evie calls peyton and is like hey i i need in and peyton's like okay so she takes evie to her guy her pimp almo i don't what manager manager yeah let's go with man manager um for an audition and so what is an audition for this entail you have to give joseph the pimp manager a [ __ ] oh okay what a job for joseph what a hardship i mean if they're bad at it it might be

they use too much teeth i was gonna i almost said is there any such thing as like a bad [ __ ] and then i was like yeah probably too much teeth would do it um i also in college there was a guy that there was like a group of us hanging out and he was talking about how like one time a girl gave him a [ __ ] and she like actually thought that just meant blow on it um so she was just like blowing air on his dick oh i stand corrected so like teeth and just some don't ever do that [ __ ]

don't ever do that [ __ ] again yeah so joseph the pimp manager gets a [ __ ] it was a gentle breeze on my [ __ ] face well so unlike joseph i don't think that elicited the response we were going for i'm so sorry about the gentle breeze and now i'm very aware of my breath and like feeling very insecure about that so so tell me about joseph honestly my only line is joseph the pimp manager job audition there's not more details but i guess it went well enough because then i'm like

okay we need to give you a makeover to get you ready so then joseph's like go see my girl at the spa and the salon and like she gets her hair done and her makeup done and is like looking good i don't really know why you need your makeup done if you're gonna be wearing a blindfold but that's neither here nor there um so we also around this time learn about one of her about one of evelyn's best friends blake who like they've always kind of like they've had that like will they want they tension

but it's always been bad timing and he has a girlfriend and so she's telling him that she [ __ ] up at work um and that she's going to [ __ ] herself out on saturday to make up for this money um we also find out that like they hooked up on new year's eve they like made out he still had a girlfriend at that time oops yeah blake is a douche canoe he's going to be a douche canoe this entire book we're just going to do that now is this a reverse harem no okay okay just setting the stage for myself

okay i just wanted to set my expectations accordingly did yeah has my description thus far not given you great expectations of what to look forward to i don't i don't know what my expectations are but now at least i know not to expect a reverse harem i know what not to expect there's a lot that you shouldn't expect with this one well keep going well okay so yeah we we have the friend blake and she tells him about the plans to [ __ ] herself out on saturday night also i like really don't

love the word horror or like being like and she's whoring herself out it was used in the book which is why i'm using it um i just felt like i needed to give that as like a little like yeah side note yeah um so everything is going according to plan peyton and evelyn show up the club on saturday night um guess who's up outside of the club like yep and blake is like trying to talk her out of it and then like drops that he's in love with her he still has a girlfriend and so

he's like i love you don't do this if you do this it'll ruin us i'm like what us bro you have a girlfriend you asshat there is no us babe yeah like i don't know like also are you gonna give me 10 grand right now like mind your business that is the other side of it right and she's like i'm not doing this because i've just always wanted to try it there's a financial means to an end here um so at the club they meet up with joseph and evelyn gives him the signed contract

and in the contract it has all like the check boxes of like what she like will and won't do and what she's okay with on like the very exhaustive list she's checked like two things that she's okay with and then she's like wait give it back and she checks like one more we don't really know what was checked she's just she's like saying things what is she checking i mean we kind of we learn a little well actually we learned two out of the three i'm we might have learned the third honestly

i skimmed parts of this that's fair yeah as like as i had said before some of these sex scenes are like real long in a way where i'm like we get it like what what was the the 69 bottles book that happened yeah they're like this has more plot than that but there's definitely moments where i'm like okay we get it let's move on um yeah so evelyn checks a few more boxes of things that she's willing to do and then they get her all ready in a little robe and then she meets tara the

sales assistant who's gonna be there and tara's like i forget exactly what it was but it was like if i mention sports that means he's like attractive and if i like talk about traffic it means i think we can get more money or it's like things like that that she's just kind of prepping her for um and then tara gets her in the room all settled on like they're like it's not a bed in the room it's like a they almost describe it as like a surgical table that had like a leather top on it okay

and drawers underneath that were filled with like sex toys yeah or like condoms and like all of so it sounded like a kind of sterile but cozy environment intimate environment those are mutually exclusive i feel like i feel like sterile and cozy are mutually exclusive well i'm like you could just like a doctor's bed with a leather top sounds not cozy but then i'm like i guess with like the lighting is dimmed maybe it feels different i mean i guess if there's stuff on the walls and like

you know i guess it could be made to feel more plush than yeah yeah an example i think i got caught up on the wrong details i think you might be right [Laughter] so they get her on the table and blindfolded and it's like velcro straps holding her down and like one guy comes in and they're like they think they can get some more money out of him then he's really just kind of kind of window shopping and wants to like see all of the girls who are available that night

and then it's like a long time before someone comes in and evelyn's like does it normally take this long and terry's like no but a non-member has requested to put a hold on you and evelyn's like is that a thing that happens and tara's like not really that's why it's taking a long time because we don't really know what's happening here so is it blake or logan i'm not gonna tell you yet hannah fine fine fine we're blindfolded we're blindfolded um dude comes in tara is like he is very

attractive like just super sporty yeah like says whatever the initial thing is and then it's kind of like yeah that's just what i say to let her know someone is very good looking just like owns it in the room and then it's like would you like a taste and they're like scoot down on the table and so he licks her and then he's like i'd rat no no no that's not what happened tara's like would you like a taste swoops her own finger in to evelyn's bits gets some juices

and then like lets him lick them and then the dude is like i'd rather drink straight from the tap which is a line that i [ __ ] hated the look on your face says you feel the same way i'm not a fan of that whole exchange if i'm honest well and something she's like okay you can like drink from the tap and so then like during these negotiations like they start they're like 20 grand and he's like i was thinking nine they're like 15 grand

he's like 10. like how about 12 grand and at this point evelyn is enjoying herself so much while blindfolded that she's like 12 grand sounds great that's as much as i needed to cover all my debts let's do this [ __ ] and tara's like we could get more money and she's like i'm in the throes of passion he wanted to drink from the tap let's stop saying that it's not necessary anymore please oh oh god if that's the line that does it for you like that's that's the limit

of all of the [ __ ] we've said on this podcast so far that's where you're like chelsea i draw a hard boundary here i don't know something about it feels very wrong so she's blindfolded she doesn't know who it is they give her a great orgasm and then then the person who gave her the great orgasm is like i have some rules i have three rules um no asking questions rule number one rule number two is you answer all of my questions honestly and rule number three is you don't come

without my permission i hate all of those rules carry on which rule do you hate the most um well it's the combo of one and two i can ask questions but you can't i don't like that that's fair i don't like that is it does it change in this situation because i don't like those rules as a whole but no i don't think it would matter the situation i would be like um no i'm not going to answer anything if you're going to be like that but that's probably just because i'm an obstinate person

what you i know i most people consider me to be very agreeable but honestly they're wrong well evelyn's just having such a great time that she's like i she eagerly accepts all these rules she's like yes yes yes i agree to all these rules and at least three times in the book twice in this scene he says do you like having my big [ __ ] in your [ __ ] okay and she's like yes okay she has to answer all the questions honestly exactly you can't lie about that you agreed to the three there's only three

rules three simple rules what was that what that sitcom a long time ago for dating my god for dating my teenage daughter was it three simple rules eight eight eight simple rules it was eight simple rules i think that's where kaylee cowoco got hers yeah and um john what's his name never mind it doesn't matter it's not relevant at all my husband will add it to the show notes it's fine um so he's like yeah do you like having my big [ __ ] in your [ __ ] and he i'm

like bro we get it you're well endowed but also in my head i'm like does he doth protest too much like you keep saying it okay who are you trying to convince babe right like everyone in the book is like his [ __ ] is so big i'm like we get it like i think that's a lot of this book i'm like we get it and so when she says yes i am enjoying your your big [ __ ] and my [ __ ] he's like then i think it's time to lose the blindfold so he whips off the blindfold now is your moment hannah

it's logan oh my stars i kind of figured yeah well i we would have thought maybe like blake would have done something differently if like you know what i mean like yeah because he he tried to shoot a shot out in the parking lot and it didn't work so i don't imagine that you're suddenly like well i have 10 grand burning a hole in my pocket let's see how this goes so logan takes off the blindfold and then she's like oh my gosh what but like he's already inside her and still just like pounding away

um and then she comes but hannah she did so without permission you guessed it she broke rule number three so soon he just explained that we literally just talked about this evie get your [ __ ] together yeah so she comes and then he's like i didn't approve that so then he turns her over and spanks her um but like tara has to help with like redoing the wrist straps because she was on the bed um on the medical on the leather medical table not the bed awkward um i wonder how much money tara makes

like i want to know how much do you have to get paid for that yeah like what's your cut of it yeah is it like being a a busser or a bartender where you get a cut of the server's tips at the end of the night like you get a percentage of their sales because i feel like you should because she sold hard did she because she was like evelyn you can make way more money but that's what i'm saying she was selling hard evie's the one that backed out or back down i guess she didn't back out

yeah well and i like honestly don't remember i think like evelyn like needed 10 grand so with the cut that like the club would take like she needed to make 12 grand for however much she'd actually be able to take home i don't remember the numbers it was nine grand who the [ __ ] cares um so she gets spanked which was on the approved list that is something that we learned was on the approved list got it somewhere in the scene honestly i don't quite remember where

um logan like is like about to like go for her ass and she's like oh i don't think i'm ready for that and then he's like you did mark that you were okay with anal on the list and she's like but i don't think i am and he's like okay that's fine never mind then honestly for the amount of money you're paying i would feel gypped like be pretty agitated i probably would have cut two grand off the top if i had known that your ass was off limits right like here's the thing because

it was already agreed upon in the pricing you're changing the rules post pricing ah cool man and not at that price point i mean maybe probably not at any price point but like that's a decent amount of money maybe for logan he doesn't care maybe he has so much money that it's like whatever we learn that he doesn't but we'll get to that oh dear yeah so he spanks evie and then they are still going at it and then all of a sudden like she hears him like say like oh like you're being a bad girl or

something like that and then she looks in the corner tara is still there through all of them tara's masturbating in the corner over how hot it is with everything they're doing and so then he's like do you want to come join us and she's like looks at evie and she's like can i come join you um and she's like sure i don't know i've never done this before but like my body's not telling me no so sure let's try it and so she comes and joins him on the table but then it's like hey logan man like if

like tara's like if you touch me it's a lot of money only she can touch me so then while evie is bent over the table and logan is railing her from behind tara removes her panties sits on the table scoots down and then logan coaches evie through eating out tara okay who like apparently it's like a really great experience for everyone everyone gets an intense orgasm well that's good and then logan is like i would have paid 20 for you and takes off and like emmy's like wait wait like we

need to talk about this you're my boss and like tries to follow him and tara's like once they go to the payment room you can't follow them so like come with me we'll get you cleaned up and we'll get you your money and you can be on your way awkward yeah a lot of it is [Laughter] i'm gathering that yeah so evie leaves the club both blake and logan are outside at this point and she's like blake realizes that like logan was probably the dude evie was just with he doesn't necessarily realize

it's her boss but like evie like has to kind of get between them and mediate and then payton is out there as well with evie and like blake just like starts insulting peyton and he's like [ __ ] you [ __ ] i'm like nope blake you are such an [ __ ] nobody likes you no one likes you maybe your girlfriend although probably not even her at this point if she knew half the [ __ ] he was doing right yeah i just he's like an ongoing character that's like a bug bite where i'm just like oh you just

we're still there that's annoying yeah that's how i felt the entire time um evie ends up leaving with logan and they're like we should talk and so he's like i'll come with me so they go back to his place and on the drive he was like yeah well i wanted to ask you out like before i got promoted but i thought you had a boyfriend because she had a framed picture of her and blake on the desk and she's like no like blake isn't my boyfriend he's never been my boyfriend he's just a good friend he's

dating someone and she's like no one at work would care if we dated and logan's like well they would if i promoted you and you're like oh okay so we kind of see what happened they get back to logan's place my notes literally say they [ __ ] all night she sleeps over well that's nice i mean i figured that was maybe better than like just giving you the 30 pages worth of detail of their sexual escapades yeah i don't feel like i need more i feel like the description that we had of the first

round was enough for me to understand what we're dealing with yeah and this time tara is not in the room tara did not go home with him what a refreshing change so evie sleeps over and then in the morning logan's mom is at his place nope and was like cleaning and then it's like oh you must be the girlfriend he like hadn't told me about or like that he hadn't let me meet yet and and evie's standing there and like she's like what is happening oh my gosh like i don't know what to say and then logan

comes out from like the bedroom behind her and he's like yes this is the this is her the girlfriend that i hadn't let you meet yet and then he's even more like what the hell is going on i am not your girlfriend nope nope um and so when he's like yes this is her then his mom goes nice to meet you evelyn and she's like she knows my name holy [ __ ] okay so logan wasn't just like sort of into her like i want to take her for coffee this is like creepy level we do get more context we just

don't quite have it yet but it is one of those things that i'm like the awkwardness i can't imagine it's like an ick factor like the first time you sleep with a man at his place and the next morning his mom happens to be there and knows your name well let's take it back even further the first time you ever have sex with this man he paid 12 grand for it and there was another chick there and then the next morning you meet his mother and she knows your name that's too much

that's too much i wholeheartedly agree but i think even if he hadn't paid 12 grand it would still be too much it would it's just another level i feel like of just way too much yes i'm like poor evie yeah i don't i don't know what i would do in that situation i would probably do what she does which is freak out and be like gotta go have a great day and then his mom is like oh don't forget this it has your name on it and it's her envelope of cash oh god just like thanks so much and like

bolts and takes off no what a story for the grandchildren cool grandma how'd you meet grandpa well one time she [ __ ] up at work and needed to make 10 grand real fast so i paid to [ __ ] her and we lived happily ever after and that's the book so kinda yeah evelyn freaks out she goes home um blake shows up at her place and is like i'm so sorry like tries to mend fences and he's like says i love you again and then evelyn's like cool did you tell your girlfriend about all of this and he's like no

my notes literally just say what a douche canoe accurate and then logan doesn't have her phone number because they haven't been closed at work before so then he like emails her from work and he's like i need your cell phone number the one that listed in your like personnel file isn't right she doesn't respond and then he like sends her her address that he got from the personnel file and he's like i'll be over in 20 and she's like don't i'll see you tomorrow like we're not doing this

and she completely blows them off they get to work the next morning she's always a little late to work and when she gets there he's like sitting in her cubicle waiting for her and see my previous comment about creepy stalker awkwardness i mean i guess not can they work together so it's not like he showed up in her office also it was bone long pre-pandemic so like i think people just like saw each other in offices more like working fully remote that would be unsettling yeah he and

logan ends up giving her this like big project that like she's like a junior designer and she's been like angling to like get senior designer but isn't there yet but like normally you need to have a senior designer working with you mm-hmm and she doesn't and he like gives her this project that's a big project for her level so then she's like excited about it because once again she's been angling for a promotion and so then logan emails her and is like hey i need your help with this logo as

well and since you were late you can stay late she's like okay well that makes complete sense so i guess i'm gonna stay late like girl that's not how that works it's not not at all she goes into his office tosses the envelope of cash at him and it's like here's the money like this is weird i'm i'm out and he's like okay please stay we need to talk about this and she's like why would i and he's like well because now we're like if you stay the the three rules are in place and

she's like why would i care if the three rules are in place and he's like because now they apply to me so now i can't ask questions and i have to answer all of yours and i can't come without your permission i guess i think it was more for the first two in this situation so they end up talking and he explains his mom's comments his brother is getting married in a week or two and he needed a date for the wedding and he had always been interested in evelyn so like he just kind of threw her name

out there but was kind of just like planning on telling his mom like yeah she broke up like with me and so that's why she's not here and then he's like it just kind of happened that you were the name i gave because i'd always kind of had a crush on you and then right and i see you all the time so yes and then he's like what was my luck that my mom that it was you and like it made it a little less creepy okay yeah we'll go with a little less creepy but then she's also like where did you

get the money from and he's like i got it out of my 401k the look on your face right now logan that's not just passing interest or like a little crush 10 grand out of your 401k is a big deal yeah i was like really felt like he didn't think through the ramifications of that maybe got a little impulsive about getting laid but like they describe him as being so good-looking with such a big [ __ ] and i'm like was it really that hard to get laid like you needed to take money out of your 401k for it

apparently he did apparently so then evie's like how did you know i would be at the club and like how did you figure that out and so then he's like i need you to come to my desk and write an email and she's like okay this is weird so like she goes to his desk and like starts writing this draft and he's like you're emailing yourself like from his email and it was called like company computer usage policy or something like that no and so she starts like writing this email that

he is essentially dictating to her while he's undressing her and fingering her while she writes this email and it was essentially like don't use the company computer to check your personal email even on breaks and he had seen when he'd stopped by her desk to talk to her about the project um he'd seen the club logo it like pop up and he'd he just assumed she was freelancing somewhere as a designer to make the money so he wanted to know like where she was freelancing what she was doing

like violating a non-compete or something exactly right but instead realized how she was going to make the money and then he was like i mean i didn't want to talk you out of it i was like kind of into the idea and then they bone on his desk okay yep and then they go out to eat that's nice for stir-fry you were so excited about the stir-fry i could [ __ ] up some stir-fry right now honestly i could usually [ __ ] up some stir-fry it sounded like it was like a

mongolian grill sort of place where you like make your own then take it to the people and then like they put it all together for you are those places still a thing i don't know i think a lot changed with covet and all but yeah i'm i am highly food made motivated and so the idea of any kind of stir fry is doing it for me if i'm honest yes but i also feel like those places were like really big around like five yeah that's what i'm like yeah like i feel like or at least maybe that's when we got

them where i was growing up and yeah the time in florida maybe they're still a thing i'll have to find out so they go get stir-fry adam make your own stir-fry place and then they're like he's like i am not really looking for a relationship but i am interested in continuing to [ __ ] you because that was really great and she's like okay well yeah sounds good but like i don't um want you [ __ ] other people if which i'm like i i think that's a reasonable request yeah and so they agree not to

sleep with other people but it's very like label aversive although all right hannah what are your thoughts on this because i do like when people are like we're not together but we aren't with anyone else and we'd have to have a conversation with each other if that were to shift and anyone else were to be able to come into the picture i'm like so you're dating i mean i think so when i think of of dating or like a a boyfriend sort of relationship there's some level of commitment there

and it's not just sex it's like we're sort of not necessarily doing our whole lives together but we're spending time together that is not sexual that's a boyfriend girlfriend we're dating situations so the difference that i think i hear you saying is the the difference between commitment and exclusivity yes is commitment involves non-sexy time yes excellent active listening i didn't go to grad school for therapy for nothing nailed it it was for this moment on this podcast i've been

training for years waiting for my moment goal achieved no okay i do think that is that's a decent description yes so they're like there's no labels we aren't going to sleep with anyone else um but we are going to keep sleeping with each other and then like the the promotion thing is like an ongoing thread throughout this where like there's a promotion kind of coming up which is also why it would be important for it to like kind of all be under wraps um and then also in this conversation

evelyn like tells him he's an [ __ ] boss and he's like what like i'm not that bad and she's like you make people cry with your reviews and he's like wait what and she's like yeah like and he's like have i made you cry and she's like no and he's like well give me an example and so she's like you made that girl cry and he's like did you see what she turned in and she's like yeah and so then he's kind of like well what feedback would you have given and it was a little bit more like

helpful and he kind of like realizes he's an [ __ ] he just proved her point yes yeah because she was like i would maybe say it's cliche and to maybe sit down with a designer who has a really different style and point of view is heard like see how like they would maybe approach it and he's like oh maybe that's better than just telling her it's lazy shitty work you think they then go back to her place and they start making out and as they're making out blake shows up [ __ ] blake [ __ ]

blake the douche canoe he shows up drunk off his ass and is like forcing his way into her place and she's like not the time like i have company and he's like i left amy i told her everything and i left amy and she's like okay still not the time and he's like i don't have any other place to go because she kicked me out and evelyn's like that is still very unfortunate but also still like not really my problem right you should have planned this better yes i'm like you you didn't think that

through like you didn't think that maybe you should have a place to go like also from how evelyn has been responding to you lately take a hit man it's not her place that you're gonna go not quite the same i did know a guy who'd like been on like a european adventure with his girlfriend and then decided that they needed to break up and he broke up with her at the start of their flight back to the state no i'm like did you not think this through my guy clearly he did not because i'm

like cool now you just have to sit next to the person you just dumped for at least six hours after spending a year in europe together i don't know if it was a year well an extended period of time in europe together yeah there was some sort of european adventure i'm like did she not catch vibes during the trip right i had questions i had no answers but i did have a lot of questions and honestly i'm pretty sure that was 10 years ago and i still have a lot of questions and

no answers the questions remain yes hey there's my puppies we'll get you right back to the show in just a moment but first do you like us maybe even love us because we sure love you and if you do love us don't tease us tell us in those ratings and reviews wherever you're listening right now maybe even send us over to a special sexy someone that would enjoy getting smutty with us because you know the first rule of smug club is to talk about smut club all right i won't keep you any longer

let's get back to the show [Music] anyway back to blake the douche canoe um logan is still at evelyn's house and is like what the [ __ ] this is not chill this is not okay so then logan is like she's my girlfriend you can't have her so we went from dinner over stir fry of like we're gonna [ __ ] with no just exclusivity around [ __ ] no commitment no commitment to now she is my girlfriend and you know i just thought of too i think when when we say like girlfriend or boyfriend

or whatever there's an expectation for the future and when you're just [ __ ] somebody exclusively it's like there this isn't going anywhere this is just like we're banging and when we're done we're done or if i meet somebody that i see a future with we're done but like there's no there's nothing we're not building anything that's also a fair point so for him to be like she's my girlfriend it's like baby what yeah i'm like we really took a hard pivot there and then he's like okay

so now that you're my girlfriend will you go to my brother's wedding with me i'm like this escalated so much over the course of the night right and then they bone again i'm assuming blake left yeah at some point it wasn't a terrorist situation where he was it was a corner situation will there be another terror-like situation who can say i can say there will be what a build-up carry on right just not even really a teaser it's still all in this episode um and then they're like okay well now that

we're official rule three always applies to both of us so now like neither of us can come without getting permission from the other person you the look on your face you are so not about it i don't like it when she's like what if like i haven't seen you in a few days like when i'm asked basically you need to call me before you come no no i will not what are you gonna do how are you gonna know mind your business right and that's like at one point she's like she's talking to peyton and peyton's

like how would he know and she's like he just would and like no he wouldn't the how long does your post-orgasmic glow last my girl just realist like how would he know like i'm not i'm not advocating for lying in a relationship right but i'm also like how would he know exactly yeah and um my notes then say i don't really remember this part i think they don't see each other much because his family's in town some phone sex i don't know that's what your notes say that is

literally verbatim what my notes say some phone sex i don't know i think she like had to call him to get permission to orgasm or something sure like i mean i guess if it works for you and your relationship dynamic yeah it's just not something i would sign up for no there was a book that i was reading recently oh also nikki sloane now that i think about it that is a interesting trilogy that we will probably review at some point because it is all kinds of [ __ ] up um

but like one of the characters that in i don't know there were i think there were like five books in that series the first three were the trilogy and then there were spin-offs but and one of them like the girl's always like you get to choose what i wear to work every day and he like loved that power and control and like that dynamic really worked for them so i'm not knocking it if it works no i mean i guess i'm i that's that is just not for me and that's okay but

i would be very resentful if i had to pick up the phone and call somebody to ask permission you know i would be very resentful i don't want to be their couple's therapist when you come in with that resentment no awkward gottman the four horsemen resentment is in there it is you're so right [Laughter] oh once again i think i'm getting caught up on the wrong details of this book it's now the rehearsal dinner sure evelyn goes and meets his family and everyone's like really excited to meet her

um because he hasn't had a girlfriend in a while which we will learn more about in the future and then after they go to the rehearsal dinner they end up going out for drinks with peyton um he fingers her on the drive there and then like while they're out at drinks payton is like could i ever watch y'all cause like tara back at the club said it's real hot i'm like okay so it's also not like a secret keeping exclusive club right we're not super secret secret secrets are fun for everyone

apparently situation they're fun for peyton they're fun for peyton um my notes then say more sex sure he comes without permission that bastard and then says since i couldn't follow the rules you don't have to follow that rule for the rest of the weekend what a free pass to give y'all i wish you could see hannah's face here because she hates so much of what i'm saying in this entire review it's just like sad it's just like a grimace almost like a disappointed grimace

i just took a selfie if you guys need to see it we can put a link in the show notes um then there's shower sex in the morning and he had gotten back from a run because he's training for a marathon and then the shower was really hot she passes out from overheating from over exertion in the shower okay that's really like then the scene ends like he's like oh i'm so sorry and like takes care of her and goes and gets her like a old bottle of water [Music] [Laughter]

so literally literally nikki sloan did that as a plot point to be like look he's not just into spanking he takes care of her he is into her right like i said this book is like a lot of sex with a little plot between the sex sure it's not a it's not wait for it by is it marianne is that marianna zapata or is it marianne zapata i should know because i actually really love all of her books and i've read all of them it's just been a minute and i just read that one too hold please

like her books are all plot and then there's like normally one sex scene at like the 95 percent more right and it's not it's a lot um it is marianna zapata highly recommend that one she's like the slow burn yeah she's the slow burn queen there's not a lot of smut in that one but maybe we'll review it anyway no it's just good yeah it's more like a love slow burn love story of just like real life things and really endearing people very much so yeah yes but yes that is all plot one sex scene

this is the opposite a lot of sex and like some plot maybe 10 15 o'clock 20 plot i don't know yeah so she overheats from going too hard at it in the shower and then that is the morning of the brother's wedding nick i think is the brother nick and hillary and logan is the best man and he's like hey you're going to hang out with my cousin chelsea that you met last night i'm not going to like leave you just to sit by yourself which is also kind and sweet very thoughtful um

that is always the worst like when you're like someone's wedding date and they're in the wedding and then you're like cool cool i don't know anyone here i just i'm sitting by myself right yeah i don't know i had lots of thoughts and stories i've been to some weird [ __ ] weddings over the years evie's hanging out with chelsea and then this like super babe blonde girl shows up and her name's april and then we find out that they're like oh yeah that's logan's ex

and she's like oh like one of his exes they're like no the one the one they dated for 12 years damn they started dating when they were

like 15. ouch yeah and so then like that's kind of it and she's like why the [ __ ] didn't anyone tell me like i am also like why didn't you give her a heads up also i don't know i say that but to his credit when she tells him later that like april's there he's like wait what like he didn't know she was going to be at the wedding i was gonna say why is she even there well because she'd known the brother for 12 years but would an [ __ ] move for the brother to pull to invite her and

not tell him it sounded like her parents had been invited and she showed up as like she she came with her mom she invited herself maybe it's not the clearest or maybe it was and i skimmed those are the options fair um the wedding continues evie tells logan that his ex is there and like he truly didn't know but after the wedding they do have like a good conversation about their exes and he gives her some context and he's like we were just like we started dating really young and we were different

people and wanted different goals and i wanted this job that was in the city and she told me not to take it and i did and it was an hour commute each way and she gave me an ultimatum that like i needed to propose or was like her the job i chose the job and so but also i guess like 27 if you started dating when you were 15 and you dated for 12 years yeah i'm not great at math but that's how math works right it's 27.

i'm not really the one to confirm but that feels right so carry on two plus five is seven seven nailed that [ __ ] that's why we're therapists yeah and then like she gives some context about blake that like the timing had never been right that they had hooked up at new year's and logan was like well he said that you told him you like loved him at new year's and she was like i did i was also drunk and lonely and like yeah like don't give him too much weight or too much credit

um logan my notes then say logan asks her to masturbate in front of him he goes down on her they make love for the first time instead of [ __ ] important distinction in smut in the morning they have more sex [Laughter] he tells her to be quiet this time in case i ever want to do something like this in a public place i need to know you can stay quiet while i finger blast you i guess my words not his name yeah so then like she successfully orgasms quietly that is what my actual

note says and then they're like oh like they're still in the moment and then she just kind of blurts out i want you to [ __ ] me in the ass and he's like wait what like like now like like like right now yeah and then she's like uh i don't well and as as we said earlier it had been on her approved list at the exclusive club but his dick is huge so maybe she took his huge some second thoughts about it well and she didn't give him the discount when she told him he couldn't

so he's like all right we'll do this in the future i need to get a few supplies sure so that way it'll help you enjoy your first time thoughtful oh so she's never done it she's never done anything why would you check it that is not the time to feel adventurous also just think we're being adventurous enough well and i also had this thought what if it hadn't been logan yes and the blindfold hadn't come off yes and you check boxed that [ __ ] and what if he didn't ask first or say it first

and just went for it yes there's a lot of problems here so this could go wrong in a lot of ways honey so many ways he tells her he needs to get the supplies okay um and then drops her back off at her place after the wedding and then she decides she's like i need to make amends with blake like i'm never going to be with him i just care about him a lot i need to clear the air so she calls blake to make amends and then he's like amy took me back i'm gonna propose

actually i think he he had proposed but then later i think i don't know it got a little confusing amy took him back and they're getting married yeah but i'm like girl want more for yourself i want more for amy and she doesn't have a single line in this book i want more for evelyn with who she chooses as her friends this is not a person i would want to be friends with i agree but all right some like question some context did you ever have that person in your life that you're like okay like if

we're both not married by this age because it sounds like it's like kind of that friendship like they've been like dancing around it for years they've never been together and so while i think blake is a huge douche canoe i guess there is some context that like he really just started showing out at the beginning of this book so if you're like 10 years into a friendship like if you're 10 years into a friendship and then you tell your friend i'm gonna go [ __ ] a stranger at an

exclusive club so i can pay off this debt and then he's like please don't do that i love you that like not just saying not excusing a lot of his behavior not excusing him calling peyton a [ __ ] and trying her to [ __ ] off like none of that is appropriate a lot of things he did are not appropriate does it change if you have that much history with them maybe maybe if if their behavior is completely out of context and like i could see it being like you know maybe

they're going through something right now and they need me as a friend but just based on his behavior in this book i would be like you are not the kind of person that i want to associate with at all yeah no i agree just based on the way he spoke to peyton like you can leave out the other [ __ ] but just the way that he spoke to her i don't even know peyton obviously and i did not read the book but i feel very protective of her and he needs to mind his business i'm pretty sure this second book is

about peyton maybe i'll read that one i bought it earlier i will report back i have not read it okay um so yeah they make they have this phone call they make amends and then evelyn goes over to logan's place that night they they have dinner and he has the supplies for anal like a boy scout always prepared well apparently he wasn't and that's why he had to drop her off earlier they do a few shots for emotional lubricant bravery liquid courage that's i couldn't think of the term

i was just gonna let you keep going oh i'm staying away with emotional lubricant it's so much worse it's so way worse i literally i'm like what is the word i'm like like i was just gonna let you keep going you made me snort yeah nothing says emotional lube like some tequila shots oh why hannah this isn't a new problem we all know i frequently forget a word and then i just like try and find it you did you fail miserably one time i was teaching a yoga class and couldn't think of the word fist so i

said raise your hand ball into the air and everyone turned in they're like what the [ __ ] you've officially made me cry twice i made myself cry once and that feels that's that's a new impressive record um yeah so some liquid courage emotional lubricant whatever your preferred terminology is and then he's like all right go to the bed get naked but leave your heels on and then he brings in all the supplies he has like batteries a vibrator um lube and leather handcuffs

those don't feel needed for anal no but could be fun just i was like if she checked it off on the list maybe that was the secret third item we don't know about yeah so he brings all the supplies then my notes literally say chapter into half 28 pages of foreplay leading to anal okay so we know she was well prepared and they they had a great time she thoroughly enjoyed the anal mm-hmm and then like she made a comment about like next time and he's like oh like there's gonna be a next time

um okay would you know for his big [ __ ] you do need 28 pages of foreplay and some emotional lube to prepare you need several kinds of lube emotional is one of them but definitely not the only one needed nope yikes maybe that's a sponsorship we should go for like a lube brand sure ky yeah maybe a different one we'll explore the options maybe we won't i'm gonna shut up about that now at work we've we made it past the anal scene where uh the anal chapter and a half

we're now at work and logan is giving kinder feedback to people in the meeting and everyone's kind of like everyone's a little shook by it like is he high yes and then someone asks evelyn like oh who's working on like that big project with you that he'd given her at the beginning of the book and she's like oh i'm doing it alone and then the girl's like i didn't realize you've been promoted and evelyn's like oh i haven't been so like everyone kind of like starts to think something like might

kind of be up getting a little sus yeah logan meets her parents we don't actually see that scene we just like kind of hear it happened and then at some point she tells logan she loves him he has not set it back but like she's like yep i'm there they go out for drinks with his friends she stays over he goes on a run in the morning because he's training for his marathon she hears the door open and then like walks in after like she just got out of the shower and like the fridge door is open and

just sees like some legs there and she's like you you gonna [ __ ] me in the shower are you too tired and like drops the towel it's his brother good standing there right yeah love that but that's really the whole scene like he comes back in his brother makes a joke about it and he's like yeah just let you know evelyn said she wanted to [ __ ] you in the shower what a thoughtful and he's like why did you tell my brother that she's like i thought it was you and he's like we look

different and she's like his face was behind the fridge door i didn't know why would someone else be in your [ __ ] house but like all of these like i would like to go back 28 pages were spent on foreplay and an anal scene and i'm pretty sure everything i just described between meeting her parents to dropping the towel happened in like 10 pages so i don't know what sort of scale meeting the parents to dropping the towel like what it would be used for but it's gonna be the scale that i used from

now on okay so from meeting the parents to dropping the towel how would you rare are we back at work now because everything goes really fast that is between meeting the parents and dropping the towels being at work i think is that the five on the scale the neutral middle yes at work in this case in this case yeah you know it's a very specific skill it does not work for all situations they're back at work and then it's announced that there's a merger happening with another design company

and there's a new promotion opportunity um where they're like wanting to hire a new supervisor for each team and so evelyn's all excited and she's like decide she wants to apply for it then logan like text her and he's like hey let's go to lunch and he chooses a place that's like eight blocks from their office in chicago so that way like no one will see them and then he's talking to her about applying and he like totally thinks she should and that she'd be great at it and

suddenly he's like go to the bathroom like right now and so she like goes into the bathroom and apparently like one of their other co-workers had shown up for lunch so logan leaves and then when evelyn walks out of the bathroom the other co-worker's like oh weird seeing you here logan was just here too and so like things are just kind of awkward closing in on how subtle they can really be um and rumors are definitely starting at the office and people have noticed like

she's in his office more and she's like oh it's because he's giving me feedback about that like project i'm working on i'm like feedback is that what we're calling it these days i'd rather call it feedback than emotional lube i'm just still really stuck on that i'm so sorry for to all of you for that logan gives her a key to his place so like things are escalating between them um but she doesn't see him much because of the merger that's happening and then she and blake say that they're

gonna go get lunch and logan is like all out of sorts about it and i was like not really a fan like he like was forcing himself into your place while super drunk yeah like more than just like i'm a jealous boyfriend he's like you kept saying no when he kept doing it and i'm if i'm not there i don't like don't feel great about this yeah it feels unsafe yeah so he's like will you cancel so she's like yeah okay fine so she calls blake to cancel and then blake is like yeah so amy's pregnant

and so then she's like okay let's go get lunch we need to talk about this and process this a little bit so they decide to go get lunch and then logan's like hey girl where are you at she's like uh [Music] lunch with blake and he's like where are you at and she's like sandwich place potbellies and so then while they're sitting there she's having this conversation with blake about everything and um it's like telling him that like she thinks logan is the one and

like maybe it never worked out between you and me because it was always supposed to be him but because i was so wrapped up in you and our friendship and well they won't they i just like never really saw him in that capacity and now i can so like i was like saying all these things as logan shows up oh dear which she doesn't realize and so then she's like how much did you ever hear that was like she was like that was not for you yep and he's like i got here around the time where you said

like our like being in love with me was like hearing birds sing or like some sort of [ __ ] and she's like oh man you've been here a while you've heard most of that oh no um but went well because logan was like obviously showed up thinking it was going to be a confrontation and be pissed and then like well that's kind of a welcome surprise right like you get there and you just like hear your girlfriend telling another dude how much she loves you right and so then like logan and

blake more officially meet in a chill capacity and then because the sandwich shop is nearby her work a co-worker shows up for lunch as is normal and then is like oh like are y'all all here together and logan's like no i was just asking evelyn and her friend what their like favorite sandwich was here before i order and then the co-worker's like let me tell you about my favorites he's like [ __ ] man read the room but yeah he's like i really did not give a [ __ ] about your favorite sandwich but

here we are it was my out yep yep so then after that logan texter and is like we need to talk tonight and she's like oh [ __ ] like is he pissed about the whole like blake thing but then when she gets to his place he has flowers oh and it's like apologized for not trusting her and like assuming it was kind of gonna be worst case scenarios like once again things are progressing well between them the next day at work someone drops by her desk with a birthday card to sign

and she's like oh whose birthday are we signing this for and they're like logan's and she's like what [ __ ] it's logan's birthday i did not know this and i'm his secret girlfriend and i did not have anything planned so she's like what am i going to do what am i going to do and then she remembers peyton asking if she could watch and is like that's a great gift okay [Laughter] um yeah so decides that that's what she's going to gift him um he had a work thing was going to have to like or i

don't know he had something he wasn't gonna be home until like after eight so evelyn and payton get to his place early because she has that key now they they do a couple of shots at tequila for emotional lubricant and peyton's like how how many shots we do in and evelyn's like just the drunk side of drunk description which i'm like how many shots is that right i was like i have a lot of questions because i'm not gonna lie i don't know about you hannah the last time i did shots actually i'll

tell you the story the last two times i did shots both of them have led me to the conclusion that shots are not for me no same um one i was doing shots not at all i was waiting for my hair appointment with my sister this was when i was still living in nashville and i was at a bar next door to the salon and had had two like pretty high gravity beers and then a dude and his girlfriend came in i was just chatting with a girlfriend just having a great conversation he was

a rum distributor and they carried his room so he's like i'm like the three of us shots i'm like it's rude to turn down a shot in a situation like that and it's also not like i can be like sorry i can't i'm on antibiotics that's why i'm only drinking beer like there's you know like it is there's not really an easy way it just feels rude to turn down a shot okay so i'm like okay fine i'll do a shot um they it was not like a shot glass it was like like a tumbler it was

like a triple pour in a tumbler and i was like okay i guess we're doing this so i down all of it and then i it was literally i had to cross a one-way street with no traffic to get to the salon and i was like [ __ ] i've made a horrible mistake i was so drunk my sister couldn't cut my hair because i was slumped over in the seat chelsea my sister was pregnant at the time she takes me back into the break room cuts me up an apple with some peanut butter i start crying about how good of

a mom she's gonna be and then i had to like she was like chelsea i have plans i can't take you home and i was like that's fine i can just sit at my car and wait this out i was texting with a co-worker and he was like do i need to come pick you up and i was like probably so he's like what parking where are you i was like the parking garage behind the ihop and you're like [ __ ] okay and i don't remember it this way but my he's like yeah your shoe you just left it and then like

you got out of your car and your shoe fell out and like in the middle of the parking garage and you just left it something i have always wondered where those single shoes come from on the side of the road they are me that is how we got them like how do they get there why are they there um the other situation was we were having a cousin's night and we were all out and once again i think the problem is like i'm normally already several drinks in by the time someone says we're doing

shots so someone bought shots um one of my cousins was like chelsea i don't know what happened i turned around and you were [ __ ] gumby on the dance floor she was like actually she's like you weren't gumby you're one of those like wind men like she's in used cardigans she's like you were a used car dealership wind man with your how like bendy and you were on the dance floor then i realized i was not feeling well at this club i was like i need to go to the bathroom so i find a bathroom

just sitting in a stall trying to get my life together wondering how i got there and then i was like i just need some like i need cold water so i go out to the sink i'm like splashing cold water on my face so this is my experience of this whole thing um my cousin's retelling of this story is that i disappeared for 30 minutes they couldn't find me and i was like i was in the bathroom there were two bathrooms they didn't know i somehow found the other bathroom so i'm gone for 30 minutes and i'm

splashing water in my face trying to sober up and they're like yeah you're gone suddenly you show up sopping wet and just say we need to leave oh chelsea am i like the cousin that we were all staying with she was like say no more round them up like gets all our drunk asses together the one who described me as gumby on the dance floor assumed something had gone wrong luckily like thank goodness nothing had gone wrong right but she spent the entire uber ride back to the house going chelsea did

something sketch happen oh which was very pure and very sweet um i would like to know that was almost six years ago and in the cousin group chat this week my cousin was like i just found a picture from the night and i'm not in the picture of course you're not because you disappeared into the bathroom yep um so that's my experience with emotional lube and i yeah like the first one i was like okay maybe it was just a fluke the second shot situation i was like shots aren't for me

and i've embraced that and i'm okay with that we've come to accept it yes but evelyn and payton are doing shots to prepare so they can be just on the drunk side of drunk i was way past the drunk side of drunk so i don't know how to get there with shots if i'm being honest um then peyton's like okay i'm gonna get the blindfold back on you we're kind of gonna like recreate the club situation so she like gets evelyn blindfolded and on the bed and then starts like kissing

evelyn and evelyn's like you're my best friend what's going on and she's like i'm just like warming you up for him and she was like i think peyton's really been focused on like how hot terry described the scene and has like wanted it in this entire time so then she asks if she can go down on evelyn and everyone's like you're my best friend and i don't know if that's chill but like this feels kind of good so we're on the we're on the drunk side of drunk sure and so then why is that cheating yeah

my thoughts it was just a series of grunts that was not words and that was um exactly what my mental processing was as the scene happened so then evelyn gets close to coming and is like i need to call logan for permission and that's when i had the thought like you're you're gonna call your boyfriend and be like my best friend is going down on me right now can i come so had some thoughts and questions there but she's like i need to call logan for permission and like i need to ask him and then she

hears his voice in the room and it's like ask me what and she's like wait how long have you been there and he's like yeah she was asking me if she could go down on you she wasn't asking you so like he's been there the whole time yeah pretty much because she had the blindfold exactly she had the blindfold and then she's like well i only want to come if you're inside me because of his big [ __ ] you know sure so he's like all right scoot up to the top of the bed

and then he just puts his dick in her mouth and then hayton is still going down on her and then he's like yeah well like my dick is inside you and i'm like this feels like a workaround but sure here we are then payton asks evelyn if she will share logan with her and evelyn's like i mean it's his birthday so sure yeah but i do have some rules three three rules i know we're all surprised since it's not the name of the book or anything um the three rules are no mouth kissing

oh okay a condom is needed and you can't come with her you have to come with me okay i really feel like there should have been more rules okay like maybe that's just like logan's like so i can put my mouth anywhere on her except her mouth and evelyn's like her the rules yes i like okay okay um my notes then say another gratuitous sex scene peyton's panties in evelyn's mouth so she won't be too loud goes on for a real long time happy birthday logan [Laughter] happy birthday indeed yep um then

we are now at work the following monday there's a new project that logan's like does anyone want this and everyone's kind of like not making eye contact not really like about this project but evelyn's like sure i'll take it and he goes thanks evie and calls her evie evie whatever the nickname in front of all of the co-workers so then the co-workers like ask her about it and she's like what no like i heard he had a girlfriend and they're like yeah well he was sleeping his way through all

the other departments so which department do you think she's in and evelyn's like wait what like i didn't know about that uh oh yeah so at his place that night they talk about it he confirms he's like he's like i lost my virginity to my girlfriend because we started dating

when we were 15. when we broke up i slept with a couple like i think it ended up being like three different girls throughout the entire company and like one it was like when she put in her two weeks notice like so like it wasn't as dramatic as like everyone had kind of made it seem right and so she's like okay i feel better about that the next day at work is the day that they're announcing the promotion which evelyn is assuming she's getting this promotion uh oh yeah that's the right assumption

um and so she like shows up like dressed a little spiffier because she expects there to be an announcement in her favor but she gets a call from accounting and they're asking about the reprint from the initial order from the start of the book oh no and she's like oh yeah then they're like well they're like there's not really like a receipt but it says it was paid for um and it was four thousand dollars and she's like what how much did you say it was like yeah the reprint was was four thousand

dollars it ended up being like 985 or something like that and she's like what the hell so she goes into logan's office to confront him on this and is like so i got a call from accounting and he's like they weren't supposed to say anything she's like were you gonna say something and so he admits that like he lied to her and he got the printer to do it at cost and that he initially inflated the number thinking she would like back down about the whole issue and then when he learned how she was

going to get the money he didn't want her to back down oh so he just like never told her and like ick right and he apologizes but like for obvious reasons that doesn't land soup like she's like still salty about it she's like i accept your apology but like that's part of the rules man honesty right i'm like it's all about the trust and you are destroying the trust and so then he had a lunch meeting that day and so right after he tells her yeah sorry i lied about that also i'm going

to lunch with april my ex and she's like what the [ __ ] and he's like her dad died over the weekend she's not in a good place i think it's just kind of made her realize like she doesn't want things open-ended she wants closures like that's really what this is about and she's like were you gonna tell me and he's like well like after how i kind of handled when you went out to lunch with blake i was gonna tell you afterwards and she's logan right so then she's like there's two

breeches of trust like it's a double whammy and one one call he gets back from lunch and then tells evelyn like they need to talk about the promotion and so she's like yeah absolutely like make sure when you let kathleen down you do it quick you rip the bandaid off and he's like is that how you would want it done and like tells her she didn't get the promotion because that morning his boss was like so are you sleeping with evelyn no because he called her evie in front of everyone

god damn it logan right and so he hasn't lied to his boss because he's like that'll make it worse so he's like yeah and i'm like okay so they're like like she's still a good candidate but optically we can't we can't give her this promotion and so she's pissed and like he's like yeah homegirl accepted the position 20 minutes ago like when so like just like in the course of like what a shitty day for her like thinking you're getting a promotion and you find out your boyfriend has been

lying to you about so many things yep yeah so she's like all right i'm going home early i don't feel well and he's like well where like what what's wrong why don't you what doesn't feel well is it your tummy [Laughter] and she's like why do you care and it's like getting louder in the office because she's pissed and he's like i care because i i'm in love with you says it very loudly for all to hear and so then like everyone's like what and she's like i'm still leaving i'm so pissed right

now this is not yeah and he's what did he he's like i care about you he's like i care because i'm in love with you evie and she was like my name is evelyn and walks out good for her i'm like evelyn doesn't feel like a strong enough name to pull that move off but good for you girl logan then shows at her place and is like very apologetic and it's like it's a relatively healthy like adult conversation she's like hey like i still love you but i'm very hurt by everything that you did and i need

you to let me be upset about this and you can't just fix it and like sex won't just fix this and i need you to give me space like i lost that promotion because of what you said and he's like well like we've all made mistakes and then she's like kind of like have we well but also like she automatically goes to the fact that like her mistake with the proof is what got them into this whole situation and so then he's like we've all made mistakes like you've made a mistake before right

then she's like the [ __ ] like this is not the approach to take right now no logan yeah and so she's like i still love you but just give me a few days right like i just get away from me yeah yeah like things are kind of tense at the office for the rest of the week um i think it's friday i don't know logan asks her to come into his office and like he's not looking too good and it's like clearly like very upset about all of this and then tells her like i'm putting in my notice today

and she's like wait what no why huh and he's like well if i put in my notice then kathleen the girl who had just been promoted kathleen will get my job and then you'll get promoted to that position you wanted she's like i really love you for like trying to help and think through she's like but you love your job just as much as i love my job that let's not do that like don't be rash don't be hasty and she's like give me over the weekend like get me until monday and he's like wait give you until

monday so does that mean you're not coming to my marathon on sunday she's like just give me until monday which also sucks because he has been training and that's a long that's a lot of time and whatever um but yeah so he's bummed that she won't be at the marathon so then after the conversation she like realizes she's like i don't need the promotion this job has already given me more than enough it gave me logan like [Laughter] so she's like all right like i'm over being upset i get

like he didn't make the right choices but i get why he made them he was trying to do the right thing that he just didn't do the right thing right and intentions were good intentions were good but intent versus impact is a very real thing yes so she calls his brother nick and and he's like she's like i need your help with something he's like i'm still a married man so nick is my favorite character just like nick on the side here i'm just i'm here for nick nick and peyton are my favorites yes

um evie says that she wants to surprise logan not nick at the at the marathon nick and logan were actually supposed to run it together but nick found out he had like a stress fracture in his foot before right definitely a big bummer and so she being evelyn i don't know why i felt i needed to describe that it's been the same she this entire [ __ ] book but i just felt the need to explain it she goes with nick and his wife hillary with all of their signs to like support logan on his run

and um he like sees her there gets very excited his goal had been to complete the marathon and sub four hours because the last marathon he ran he completed it in four hours two minutes he completes this one in three hours 57 minutes really love that these are the details that were thrown in the book at this point and i love that you're providing them i just wanted it to be a full full synopsis for you and it is um because i have a feeling you might not read this one i probably won't um i read

it for both of us thank you for that y'all will have to share with you our uh screenshots of our text conversation at some points because there's so many times like we'll text each other a book and we're like thank you for reading that for both of us thank you for reading that so i don't have to yep your country thanks you for your service at the reunion point um like after the marathon where like evelyn's like i surprised him he is then like hey i i have to tell you

something i don't want to keep anything from you she's like ah [ __ ] what does it know and he's like i bought an engagement ring and she's like when did you buy an engagement ring he's like the day you got lunch with blake and he like overheard the conversation of like her like saying that she was in love with him and he was the one and then he gets down on one knee and proposes and she's like what the hell you just had a ring on you and then she like looks over at nick and she's like

you told him i was coming didn't you and he's like yeah and just like he's like i didn't want it to mess with his head and like [ __ ] up his marathon if he thought you weren't going to be here to support him they get engaged um i guess happily ever after there's an epilogue cliffhanger for the next book which is essentially a month in the future things have settled down at the office evelyn ended up getting promoted to senior designer so it wasn't like the really big promotions she thought she

was gonna get but she did get a promotion and like things are going well now now that they're out in the open and they're like we commute together and we eat lunch together and like we don't have to so cute right we don't have to live in secret um but then like peyton calls her super early in the morning and is like i'm coming over like it's like before 6 a.m and everyone's like what the [ __ ] like is everything okay and so when peyton gets to logan's she's like logan got me fired

like i lost my job oh no and evelyn's like what are you talking about and like apparently logan has a cold and is passed out on cold meds so she like goes and she's like hey babe so like what happened like nathan saying she lost her job because of you he like sits up and he's like wait was she working last night and evelyn's like yeah and then his phone beeps and he like looks at it then he looks at evelyn and he's like i think i did something i shouldn't have

and that's how the book ends and then the next book i believe is about pain but i don't know because i haven't read it yet um so that's so the long and the short of it what sort of rating scale are we even using for this is it is it the blindfolds meeting the parents to dropping the towel from meeting the parents are dropping the towel um i think it this book can get different ratings depending on what you're looking for in it okay okay i think if you're looking for a solid plot

we're at meeting the parents okay um i think if you're here for gratuitous sex scenes we're at dropping the towel okay i think if we're for the overall experience between the two we're at the office okay like it's a quick read it's a pretty fun read but there are definitely scenes where you're like we [ __ ] get it like please stop finger blasting her or maybe don't but like just like don't describe it in such detail right the detail is unnecessary at this juncture yeah i'm like

like because i straight up looked i was like that one scene the foreplay to anal 28 pages maybe that's the skill we should use for play-doh [Music] sorry from foreplay to anal where would you rate this one i know i don't know i didn't read it you didn't but you heard the synopsis um i mean i guess um maybe a best friend asking for permission to go down on someone best friend asking the boyfriend for permission so is that like a six [Laughter] sure six blindfolds

so we will include a conversion chart in this week's notes you know we say that to be sassy but knowing my husband he will probably make one um i don't know what it'll look like but i'm excited for for where this ends up um yeah you know i'd say like i'd say six blindfolds okay out of ten i don't know how many blindfolds that's out of but i feel like six is a strong number for the number of blindfolds regardless yeah like it's like one of those that's like 250 pages yeah you can read it

on a rainy afternoon maybe not in front of your parents sure um like maybe not at a coffee shop right awkward yeah so maybe that makes it less blindfolds or you know if you have the blindfold on they can't see you reading it [Laughter] okay so i'm thriving um yeah so six blindfolds y'all let us know what your thoughts are um you have three different rating scales to choose from so choose your own adventure on this one yeah we wanted you to have several options because there's just you know

there need to be for this one i think yeah so thanks for joining us smut [ __ ] thanks y'all i'm i'm sorry for the every time i said emotional lube i just i'm so sorry all right we love y'all thank you have a great rest of your day and i'm sorry again goodbye bye next week on smut club so that just makes me think of there's a big boy song well technically i guess it's big grams he did it never mind but he says um she needs a vitamin d overdose and i do mean d and that's all i can think about now

that's one of my favorite lines and music ever well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ] we hope it was good for you because it sure was great for us if you're digging what we're doing it would mean a lot if you take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend us an ear we love you we appreciate you and we'll see you next week stay spotty [Music]