well hello all you beautiful people you know what time it is [Music] ladies and gents guys and dolls and everyone in between gather round get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on because it's time for smut club here's your hosts chelsea and hannah [Music] hey everybody and welcome to smut club with chelsea and hannah hi hi friends we're so glad you're here um we were having a conversation recently about wanting to give you a name other than
friends so we were kind of going between like smut puppies and smut [ __ ] yeah my husband's vote is for smut [ __ ] maybe we could just do like a variety between them or like a scale like maybe like smut puppy is like you've dipped your toe in and then you're a [ __ ] pup yeah and then you're a smut [ __ ] yes you guys let us know let us know if you want to be called any of those because consent is important and it matters yeah and you know names are also important and we
don't want to give you a name you hate honestly my husband's just really excited about shirts that say smut [ __ ] on them and have uh flowers and [ __ ] in his words on them it fee like smut [ __ ] feels to me like something that you would find in an adult coloring book surrounded by some flowers yeah i could see that i had this really sweet co-worker in nashville i actually had a lot of very sweet co-workers but one of the funniest things i ever saw was one like
i adore her she curses like a sailor every every word out of her mouth is a swear word and so another really really sweet co-worker was like oh yeah i got you an adult coloring book that i saw and like gives her this like swear word coloring book and then she's like i got myself one as well and the one she got for herself was like bible verses like dubs and crosses we're like were you trying to send a message it's very sweet is it it really was oh okay no it was but we were sitting there i just
remember walking in and the girl who swore a lot she's like can you see the difference between the two and i was like listen y'all are both in church every sunday live your lives yeah you do you do your thing i don't think god gives a [ __ ] about your colorful language if i'm being completely truthful yeah i mean not to get into a theological debate about it but i feel like he has bigger fish to fry to multiply you mean bigger fish to multiply hmm yep i don't know if everyone will find
that joke funny that is a very uh on the nose loaves and fishes joke and also i wouldn't say that's um that's the same sort of on the nose as the rest of the podcast no this is a different sort of on the nose um we're not afraid to fully send it in any direction no we will follow where this mut takes us ultimately well and so hannah has um read read a book where this smut is taking us on a very interesting journey i haven't had a chance to read this yet but when
she texts me and she's like this is the title of the book i was like holy [ __ ] please read it asap and report back yes so the title of this book is that time i got drunk and saved a demon um it is by kimberly lemming this is her debut book what a title for your debut i know um and i just want to preface by saying i genuinely enjoyed this book i don't know if it's actually any good but i did actually really really enjoy it it had some very funny moments i just i just want to pause you
i don't know if it's any good but i did enjoy it i mean that we'll get to the actual review christmas yeah i enjoyed it i read this book while i was on vacation which is relevant because i don't normally drink very much um however when i was outlining this book i was mostly intoxicated so we'll see what happens i'm excited for the journey we're about to go on so okay so a couple of things our main character her name is cinnamon um for some unknown reason that i am not
going to explore right now in my notes she is referred to only as our girl cinnabon that's that's how i chose to uh did you want to send a bun i don't probably and then like i i think cinnabon always sounds delicious and then i get two bites in and i'm like i've hit my sugar quota yeah it's a little much so we have our girl cinnabun yeah yeah we have cinnabon and then we have um the the the guy our main guy his name is fallon and for some unknown reason i immediately thought of jimmy
fallon and then only referred to him as jimmy in my notes is jimmy fallon who you pictured the entire time not even a little bit okay so we just took the name ditch to the rest yup incredible so so we got cinnabon and jimmy yep yep yep who are cinnamon and fallon in the book um so the reason i found this book it was reviewed a few times on tick tock and i had been thinking i was like you know what i don't think i have read very many um authors of color lately with smut and
i know that exists so i started looking for it and that's how i came upon that time i got drunk and saved a demon so i'm so stoked for this so here we go so we open at a village festival party situation our girl cinnabon is super drunk um they are celebrating um sending off one of the village girls who was chosen by their goddess to go fight demons so in this universe there is a goddess and she centuries ago drove the demons out of this land and protects it but every 15
years she chooses four individuals to go and protect the gate because apparently the gate weakens every 15 years so she chooses four humans to go protect the gate from the demons and just okay so it's not like you like get this appointment and you are now the gatekeeper for 15 years it's like every 15 years there's a window of time where the gate weakens and we need to protect it and then once that window has passed we get to go back okay perfect right and so um cinnamon
has no interest in being selected none whatsoever she's super clear about it she's like um hard pass on that adventure i am very hap she is a spice farmer she is very happy with her family spice farm in her little village she has no desire to go on this kind of adventure and so after the selection is made she and her best friend decide to dye their hair bright pink because they didn't want to draw attention to themselves prior to the selection they were trying to like blend in um
so the selection has been made it's this girl that everybody kind of hates and she's super full of herself and so the village is like hell yeah you go be a hero babe we're super happy for you um and so they're dancing they're singing they're having a great time and um she goes to she decides she needs cheese um because she's very drunk and so she kind of stumbles over to her best friend um her stand that she has at this festival her best friend's name is bree and she is a cheese maker
i [ __ ] love this so much and it's called out in the book cinnamon is like yeah bree's mom thought she was super clever with that one although my mom named me cinnamon and were spice farmers so i guess i won't judge um and the language in this even though it's very much fantasy is super modern like she says suss at one point and like calls people [ __ ] like it's very very modern language um and in some of the reviews some people hated that they were like i couldn't get
into the story like i couldn't get into the fantasy and i was like maybe you just have a bad imagination because i liked it so anyway um so their opinions are also based off of your experience 100 okay perfect just making sure i understand thank you for pointing that out and so then she's eating cheese as one does and there's some kind of explosion like in the distance near her family farm like in that direction and um everybody just kind of stops and then they're like hey
our village hero is already fighting demons way to go babe and then they just start up the party again they're like whatever and they keep going so she decides she's gonna walk home her best friend is like honey you have had too much wine and you need to go home okay okay bye bye was her friend making sure someone got her there safely or was her friend just like you should go home because you're trashed yeah she's like you you should just walk home because apparently this is something she does
regularly this is a very safe village you know famous last words so she's walking home she's going through the forest and there is an attempted robbery um by some guy who has his face covered and he's like give me your coins winch and she is like wench are you [ __ ] kidding me right now like who do you think you are like are you a pirate that's the dumbest [ __ ] i've ever heard in my life like she is not she does not feel threatened by this robber who has a hammer
and he's like give me your cloak then like whatever you know and she's like i don't think it will fit you although the sunflowers could really bring out the blue in your eyes like i don't think my cloak is gonna work for you he's like i'll give it to my girlfriend and then she realizes that this is one of like the village [ __ ] and so she's like i don't remember his name but she's basically like listen johnny i know you don't have a girlfriend go away like you're not scaring me right now
um i was gonna go with trevor first i just was making [ __ ] up yeah i don't remember his name because i know when you're like when you said douche i was like what's a random like douche name douche name trevor yeah and then i landed on treasure trevor not treasure i'm only one glass of wine like there's there's literally normally zero excuse for my blunders outside of just me yeah so here we are so trevor or johnny whoever johnny trevor the town douche she tells him to [ __ ]
off yeah and he has several brothers they're well known in the village for just kind of running wild and being idiots and so she then chases him through the trees she's like you think you're gonna rob me i think you're you're wrong and so she is very drunk and is like i'm just gonna beat the [ __ ] out of this guy and so she chases him through the trees and then she starts to hear this groaning sound and she's like that's really weird and so she goes to investigate and she finds
that the the explosion that they heard was some kind of rock slide and someone is trapped in the rock slide so she is like oh [ __ ] let me dig this guy out so she starts digging starts to like get the guy out and she's like this [ __ ] is huge like this is the largest man i've ever seen in my life but i don't recognize him from the village he must be traveling from somewhere else i hope he's okay so she's like trying to check on him and then it turns out he's a demon and he's like um
you should run from me right now um and she's like why and he goes because it's very bad form to eat your rescuer and that's where we're at so you should run and she's like huh okay so she takes off so she starts running through her family's cinnamon fields um and he catches her at one point and starts choking her he's like attacking her and she reaches for a cinnamon branch and like smacks him in the face with it and is able to get away and so she runs away and barricades herself in
her parents house um and she's like telling her family like there's a demon there's demon and they're like babe you're drunk go to sleep so she's like barricading the door in her parents house so they have this big family farm and she has two brothers as well and so they all have houses on the farm and have their own sort of plots of land on the farm so she's in her parents house even though her house is further away um and so she goes to sleep um and everybody's like you're fine
calm down so she gets drunk so often yeah she does okay um so she goes to sleep wakes up hungover she decides to have breakfast with her family there's a lot of really funny like sibling exchange um their mom is super hard ass and the one brother is really dramatic it's just very funny kind of exchange um and um they're like oh yeah that demon last night and she's like yeah okay and then he just appears in the doorway the demon like appears in the doorway like inside the house
okay well like like the interior like the door to go inside okay yeah um and he the brothers and the dad they get up like they're gonna attack um to protect her and the demon throws her brother chilly they all have spice names throws her brother and genuinely i don't remember if that's his actual name or if that [ __ ] i made up but that's what's in my notes um he throws chili across the room and then he's like y'all i'm not here to fight i'm not here to hurt anybody
like let's just all have a seat he has retractable horns so he retracts the horns and then sits down so this might be something we'll get to in the future but just my my curiosity now um when he retracts the horns does he just like look like a normal human just really big okay yeah so and he didn't have his horns out when she found him actually so she thought he was human at first so um he retracts the horns he sits down to have breakfast with the family her mom is just like super excited to be
feeding someone um and we'll get into this later but this is um it seems to be very heavily influenced by southern culture and like hospitality and stuff and so the mom is just like super happy to have somebody to feed she's like all right have a seat babe like let's do this thing um and so all the brothers are like what the [ __ ] is happening and he says his name is fallon also known as jimmy and then um he explains that their goddess is actually an undead witch who enslaved all of the demons
so and controls them so they are not actually as violent as people think that they are um and they're not as mindless as people think that they are but it's this witch cast a spell over them um because she apparently sacrificed several demon children to achieve immortality and so when the demons tried to avenge that she did something and now she controls them and then um apparently the cinnamon that she hit him in the face with broke the spell like something about the cinnamon like negated it
so he had this amulet that was protecting him but the closer that he got to the village um to her temple the less effective the amulet was and so he kind of lost it when the rock slide happened and then he came to with the cinnamon so um he tells i love here's my favorite thing about a good like paranormal universe is you can just like set whatever [ __ ] rules you want whatever you want whatever you want and um she will continue to do so so um he tells cinnamon that um
they're like we don't know if we believe you like we were raised to believe that this is our goddess that she protects us from demons like i don't know about all that and he's like okay you know what you don't have to believe me i just want you to take this amulet and throw it past the the protective force field around the temple and just see what happens right um and he's like and then if what i think is gonna happen happens destroy the goddesses chalice that's in the thing
because that houses her soul it's her power center or some [ __ ] so destroy the chalice um and then if you do this um i will uh protect the entire village like it will be under my protection from this point forward if you don't then i am gonna he had like a pack of cinnamon that he was keeping on him to continue to negate the spell he was like i'll just get rid of the cinnamon and go full demon boy on all of you guys so the choice is yours so he is like we're good you can trust us believe me
try this and if you don't i'm just gonna kill you okay yeah just making sure i'm understanding properly like if you do i'm gonna protect the whole village your family is under my protection and if you don't you can all die anyway also like nothing sounds that hard about keeping a satchel of cinnamon on your person no it does not so uh our girl goes and she throws the amulet and this like black sludge and blood starts like bubbling up from the floor and like coating the walls and and
the demon couldn't do this himself because there is this protective force field around the temple that keeps demons out so um she's like um that doesn't feel right so maybe i'll just destroy this chalice so she goes and tries there's a bit of a fight there's like a skeleton hand that comes up and grabs her um she smashes it it won't break so this like giant blood bone ogre thing is like hitting her and then jimmy shows up and saves the day and like goes her into destroying the chalice
and so that's done but then the temple is like about to implode so he like grabs her up and rescues her from the temple um and at this point she realizes he smells really nice like as he grabs her up to get her away from danger she's like i'm into that i mean i was wondering when the smut was going to start in the paranormal universe and i feel like how like what percent would you say i feel like that is a very common thing in in a book yeah it's this where it's like this
yeah and it's like it's not even like pheromones it's just like in his natural scent of musk and river water right it's like what the [ __ ] does that smell like my favorite was i think it was in crescent city i want to say it was like she smells like the snowfall and the first starlight of the evening like what does that smell like okay yankee candle like what like these descriptions like that's not a thing she smells like a beach on the first day of summer and you're like i really have so many
questions right which beach because if it's the ones that i grew up near then that means she smells like a dirty diaper oh well i grew up on the gulf coast side of florida and i'm i wouldn't say i would describe ourselves meanwhile on the atlantic side anyway it's very different it is very different but also yes like so many books they're just like oh and they just like smelled so nice and like there's there's way more sniffing than you ever anticipate or no although i will say in all fairness
um i had covet a couple of years ago and lost my sense of smell and i did get pretty sick but i was really okay for the most part and then my smell just did not come back for a while and at one point i like burst into tears and my husband was like are you okay and i was like i can't smell you and he was like okay babe like why don't you go to sleep is that something you normally do no i don't go around sniffing people but not quite the same but it is so i'm like i'm i get sick
very easy i like always have a stuffy nose and i think my husband and i have been married for like four months if that and i was sick which was not a surprise because i just i'm always sick and i'd been texting him while i was at work i was like i just can't wait to get home and just like not do anything and just sit on the couch and really rest and relax with you and my husband i have this um like this sweet potato curry soup recipe it's delicious love this soup recipe
and my husband thought he's like i'm gonna i'm gonna surprise chelsea and make her this like really comforting soup that she loves and like she'll be so surprised when she gets home and i like i like i came in and i was like oh my gosh like you made me soup like you're the best human in the world and i'm like getting teary and so my husband we eat really spicy food we love spicy food um so he gives me this bowl of soup and he's looking at me all expectantly like
can't wait for me to take my first bite y'all that [ __ ] tasted like lava because i couldn't smell anything so i couldn't taste anything and i just take a bite of the soup and i feel my entire body like going into this like heat flash with how much wet so my husband bless his soul hands me this bowl of soup so excited wants me to try it i take one bite and i burst into tears um also worth noting my husband is the producer of this podcast and it's like the sweetest angel baby who just like
wants to love me and support me but i think it scarred him because like for a long time he he wasn't really willing to venture back into the kitchen we we crossed that hurdle i'm glad to play that but yes i'm glad to hear that all of us to say smell and taste are important but they are sometimes unnecessarily prominent and yes i would agree so he rescues her from this thing from the temple not jimmy because that's not his name alan the demon rescues cinnabun cinnamon yes um so um
he's like well that was easier than i thought really good work everybody and she's like um babe there are three more chalices in her other temples oh [ __ ] he didn't know he did not know and so he is super pissed so pissed in fact that he burns his shirt off pause um i have questions do you have answers i don't know ask them and we'll see is it because he is a demon and his body just burst into flames or did he light his own shirt on fire i think that he um so he has fire as a demon and i think
that he became very overheated because he was so angry that's how it sounds in the book like okay it wasn't intentional um and so then um she notices that he has some really nice abs um and he's like okay well you need to come with me to these other temples and fix this [ __ ] um and starts calling her rabbit as a nickname but i didn't really understand why but he just starts calling her rabbit like not bunny not honey rabbit i i think i might rather be called rabbit than bunny so
little-known fact oh no where are we about me as a person i'm terrified of rabbits oh but not bunnies i mean they're you know they're the same right they're the same thing i hate them they really freak me out we had two when i was a toddler and um here's the part that as an adult i think it's hilarious but as a kid i had no idea they were named chip and dale my parents were like like the chipmunks sure right and i'm like oh cool just four-year-old chelsea being like here my chippendale bunnies
i hope there are pictures of that anyway so he starts calling her rabbit so i feel like that's also an important turning point in a lot of smut where yeah they're given the pet name is like some kind of important moment and she's like yeah no not interested in the adventure thank you i'm happy with my life good luck with your journey and have a great day and i think it's a very fair response given everything that she's been through in the last 24 hours well and it's later revealed why she is
opposed to adventure ooh okay well that um but he's like okay you can say no but to be clear i promised to protect your village i did not promise to protect you so you can help me or you can go unprotected these are your options um and so she agrees and he's like i think that you are starting to like me and she goes yeah like a plague very much yep um she is not happy about this situation she's like he's super hot but i'm wicked annoyed with the whole thing yeah like on the hot crazy scale he's
he's not quite out weighing with hotness not at this point it's just a little too crazy not at this point so um then she is packing with her best friend brie um the cheese merchant obviously um and she mentions this sister so the sister had come up previously um the sister passed away but we don't know how but cinnamon keeps saying cinnabon sister cinnamon sister yes it caught on she's sent a bun now our girl cinnabon also where what is she packing for did i miss that for the
journey she's like okay okay so i guess i'm going okay i get it i was like is she running away no so she's going with him um and she um is saying that she feels like her sister's death was her fault somehow but again we don't really have the story um so then she she has an argument with fallon about um taking uh like a wagon on this trip she's like we need spices and we need a we need stuff like where am i gonna put my clothes like priorities where does my spice collection go precisely so
um eventually he acquiesces to this and they bring her horses um in a carriage and so then um apparently at this point i decided to start calling her best friend bree fondue i don't know when that happened [Laughter] where did you guys go on vacation hannah so we went to charleston and i think that at this point um we went to um my favorite pub in north charleston i'm pretty sure that's what was happening at this point i might have had a couple of irish car bombs so good for you living your best
vacation life i was i mean i don't is it really hurting anyone to call her fondue no if anything i just hope you like i hope she's called gruyere in a few minutes perhaps gouda so how's our body doing in this chapter so so this is pretty much the end of fondue's involvement in the book pretty much it's like right here damn it she just got the cool nickname and everything i know but wait for it cheese is not done brie the character is done but cheese is never done go on so she actually
hannah has been doing such a great job of leading us through this book that she hasn't really had a chance to have any of her wine which is how the characters got the name fondue and jimmy fallon um and so honestly because of that i want her to have more wine just to see where the day takes us well thank you for that i appreciate your thoughtfulness i did take that opportunity perfect so um she goes with fondue to the village like boundary with the carriage they're supposed to be meeting um
fallon and the town jackass that tried to rob her shows up with his brother and the brother is demanding an apology because she chased him through the woods um and she's like um this jackass tried to rob me i'm not apologizing to you for [ __ ] and he's like you were drunk everybody knows you're the town lush like he wasn't trying to rob you you just attacked him and so she slaps him in the face the brother she slaps him in the face i see how he got there oh no wait rewind she didn't slap him in
the face yet so he slaps her in the face and like pushes her against the wagon and so then she slaps him in the face and then uh jimmy appears and he is not happy with this situation jimmy seems like a guy who gets real possessive real fast yeah also have did we learn nothing from will smith slapping someone like you just can't go around slapping people willy-nilly like that no no you can't slaps don't solve problems people they really don't um because then
once again it's the consequences of our own actions because now we have a very pissed off demon who shows up and breaks [ __ ] face's arm off um wait you you you paused there and it took me you're like he broke his arm i'm like yeah yeah you're like off like i was like were you trying to were you hoping i didn't catch it what he broke his arm off he really [ __ ] him up it's like um oh what was that movie in the 80s with patrick swayze um where he was the bouncer at the club
and ripped the man's heart out roadhouse where he rips his heart out with his hand that's what i thought a demon do it it's the forbidden move yes that is that is what i thought of just now that's fair um so he's gonna kill [ __ ] and cinnamon is like no no no we don't kill humans okay she's really reasonable sometimes sometimes um when she's not the town lush i was gonna say she's not drunk at this juncture so um he is super annoyed that he's not allowed to kill this guy he's like you
are currently mine you are under my protection and he put hands on you which means he has forfeited his life and she's like um bro how about you simmer down she's like so like demon laws and rules of society are not human laws and rules of society so you can't just kill them right so he agrees no more killing humans and so they're traveling now through a bayou because in the landscape that we are in okay so they're in louisiana now basically okay um so they're gonna buy you um and so she
makes him a crayfish boyle that's what it's called in the book i'm like y'all them's crawdads [Laughter] don't write about things you don't know you're like sorry we're in georgia where the [ __ ] are you getting this from rayfish hey there's my puppies we'll get you right back to the show in just a moment but first do you like us maybe even love us cause we sure love you and if you do love us don't tease us tell us in those ratings and reviews wherever you're listening right now
maybe even send us over to a special sexy someone that would enjoy getting smutty with us because you know the first rule of smug club is to talk about smut club all right i won't keep you any longer let's get back to the show [Music] anyway so um he is like not he's i'm not eating that that looks like a bug and she's like just trust me and he's like this is the most delicious thing i've ever eaten my in my life which is fair because they're very delicious and so
they're having like this bonding over the campfire um and they're sleeping on either sides or laying down on either sides of the campfire and then he starts telling her scary stories about different things so that she like comes closer to him and it's pretty obvious he's doing it on purpose like he's intentionally frightening her so that she'll like come closer um but there's they're like dumb campfire ghost stories like it's not like he's like and then the axe murderer appeared like
it's not things that you would think of real life um so he keeps touching her often like she starts to notice that he is touching her braids which are pink um and you know like touching her arm and like he's very touchy um and he keeps like sidling closer to her and she's like making more space on the bench and he just keeps like scooting over in the wagon so he's clearly putting out a vibe and she doesn't fully want to receive said vibe i mean she does but she's like this is a demon and
i know you guys can't see me but i did just do a lot of weird wiggling to demonstrate that and then if you like me you can't see me so she's like reluctantly she's into the vibe but like is annoyed with herself for being into the vibe yeah and she's also like who the [ __ ] even is this guy right now like really what's going on so um there's a couple more like campfire scenes they're bonding having a great time she's cooking for him he's really enjoying it um and she's like see
spices are important thank you um aren't you glad we got a wagon so you can have this delicious meal exactly um so she they're asleep and then she hears she wakes up and she hears someone calling her name over and over again and so she's like that's really weird so she goes to investigate and she's like that that sounds like my sister oh god like that really sounds like myself and they're just like traveling on the road at this point right they miss something through the value they're
still in the other like they're like they're in the bayou but they're traveling like they're not they haven't like arrived anywhere yet no okay no so she hears this she goes to investigate sounds like her sister and then it is her sister standing in the water in the bayou calling to her how long ago did the [ __ ] happen with her sister like four years okay so she says her sister looks rough like her hair is a mess she's covered in mud but she's like obviously that's my sister
so she gets into the water trying to go um get her and fallon shows up and he's like stop like stop and come back to me right now and she's like no no no that's my sister who's been missing right yeah so she keeps going and then my notes say surprise in all caps it's a swamp monster i had a feeling that's where we were going like yeah like they lure you in with like your your deepest desires and then they have tentacles i mean i don't know if this one does i'm
really filling in that picture but just like in general i feel like there's all like they lure you in and then there's a bait and switch yeah maybe there's tentacles maybe there's not i don't think there are tentacles in this situation it's more like a hellhound crossed with a scorpion if i'm remembering correctly but either way it's not good so here [Laughter] what a hellhound crossed with a scorpion yeah which half front half hellhound back half scorpion
okay just verifying yeah so it grabs her and starts dragging her to the bottom and she's like oh cool this is how i die great i knew i didn't want to go on an adventure i hate it here and so then jimmy rescues her obviously um and then pulls her out kills the monster and then she cries on him a lot um and tells him that her sister disappeared in the bayou four years ago and was never found and so it must have been that that monster that had taken her and cinnamon feels like it
was her fault because she convinced her sister to go with her on an adventure in the bayou whatever oh so is this where we learn why she doesn't go on adventures because she blames herself for her sister's death okay um so then he carries her back to camp and takes out her braids because they are caked in mud and and by you sludge and um tells her is that otherwise known as algae i don't know but it sounds gross by you sludge you heard me yeah that sounds thick and murky i have
no response to that not one i want to say out loud anyway so um he very gently takes out her braids um and tells her um that she needs to bathe so there's a bayou on one side and a river on the other so he's like you need to go bathe in the river and um so she's like all right then and just gets naked she's like if he's gonna be a dick then i'm getting naked good good talk so which is obviously a natural response yeah is that not everyone's logical thought process
i mean it makes perfect sense to me um yeah you me and kimberly the author she's killing it for her first novel this is a fun one we're in good company so um she grabs a knife and some soap and gets into the water um and yeah that comes into play later oh no um so she's in the water and she's bathing and then fallon shows up with her in the water um and he is super into how her hair smells and lets her know that and is like please allow me and starts washing her hair um and then she is like huh
there's a log floating in the river that [ __ ] is a gator and she kills it with her knife my god so so okay so i'm not even gonna pretend 75 of why i wanted to review this book was straight up because she killed a gator with a knife with her bare hand and i was like we have things to discuss especially because both of us like grew up in florida where there was a lot of alligator protocol you like every single place you went there was at least one sign that said do not molest the alligators yep
and i always had questions like right what constitutes molestation oh gator um my thought was more what happened that led to them feeling they needed to post these signs everywhere not like what's the boundary on how far i can push the game and here's the thing so i um i grew up in orlando we did have a lot of gators and i went to school with the daughter of the people who owned gatorland the like little amusement park and um have you read the book swamplandia
no but i'm going to add it to my list apparently it's not smart never mind yeah they're not interested there's a lot of character development in a way gross i didn't finish it but like if you're into that it's a really good book so anyways gatorland so i learned in the fourth grade that if a gator surpasses a certain size animal control won't come get it so people had gators in their retention ponds and their pools and stuff like that and animal control was like is it over
six feet that's real tough good luck y'all and so people would have to call gatorland to come get the gators they had to call an amusement park to get the gators out of their retention ponds feels like the most on brand of [ __ ] also if you haven't watched it yet craig robinson is that craig from the warehouse on the office he is a new show it might not be new by the time we drop this episode depending on our lineup um called killing it and it's on peacock and it's about living in south florida
and um there's an overabundance of um burmese pythons and so there's a competition that whoever can kill the most you like get raided by like this the square feet that you bring in huh um maybe not square feet they're just regular yeah just regular feet um it's really funny but it feels very florida on brand yeah and i mean and to be clear like i grew up in downtown orlando it's not like i was in the [ __ ] everglades or something yeah you were not where like there was a vast
normalization of alligators walking down the street but that video that dropped a couple years ago of that alligator that like looked like [ __ ] godzilla yep that was terrifying well and the thing is even in downtown there are gators it's true in the lakes and in people's pools they're everywhere and so we learned at a very young age like what to do when you see a gator you zigzag if one is chasing you they run on a straight line you gotta run in in a zigzag formation exaggerated zigzag is
the way to go um and so all that to say i i have eaten gator i have i have pet a baby gator i've done all kinds i feel like that yeah like that's like that's just did you grow up in florida if you haven't had multiple interactions with different iteration of gators we once when i was in kindergarten we had somebody bring a 10-foot python to our class to play with like that's florida you know oh and i would never attempt to kill a gator while nude in a river with a knife
how would you attempt to kill it maybe if i had a gun while i was in a boat i do know all of their like power is in the snapping of their jaw closed yeah so once their jaw is closed if you can keep it closed and hold on that's gonna keep you safe and also they have some vertigo issues that like [ __ ] with their equilibrium so if you if you can get a gator on its back yep you know definitely easier said than done um but if you can get a gator on its back and keep its mouth closed
that is the safer choice yeah um also maybe someone who has any experience with this versus just like i think some of the things we're told up in florida are folklore on some level you know that we've just all embraced as normal because florida um so yeah someone please correct us if we're off base on any of this or you might be like nope those two [ __ ] from florida i mean if anybody knows it's us so so cinnamon going back to the books cinnamon is bathing in the river um jimmy fallon
loves the smell of her hair is washing it it's washing her hair washing her hair and then she sees honestly here's where when you're like and she sees a giant log floating in the river i thought you're going to be like nope it's his demon dick i wasn't prepared for you to be like it's an alligator and she kills it with the knife i was like oh damn okay that escalated so then she starts dragging it to the shore and he comes up behind her and is like i'm gonna marry you what and she is like um
that was not part of the deal we made i did not agree to that and he says and this is a direct quote you shouldn't have been so horribly interesting i don't i don't think that's how consent works what a proposal what a proposal i mean maybe for a demon that is romantic we have to think of cultural implications so true so true i don't want to be mean to the demon who thinks that is romantic um i can appreciate it but i might be giving him too much credit here i think
that you are but i appreciate the attempt so regardless of all of this jimmy is super convinced they're gonna get married and just keep saying things about how they're gonna mate they're gonna get married this is it and um our girl cinnabon is not on board she's like no what the [ __ ] dude like you are a demon please calm down you're super hot and i kind of want to jump on it but also calm down but also i don't want to marry it i just want to jump on it exactly
as we've previously discussed there is a difference between boyfriend dick and husband dick there's a difference although she hasn't had any of his dick she hasn't yet um that's the second log floating in the river um so then they're continuing on they're almost to the next town where the next temple is and they get stopped by a group of bandits and the bandits are like we are gonna kill your boy and rape you hope you all have a great day this is it there's like five of them four of them and um
one of her horses who's a scrappy mare kicks one in the head and is like not today and so she just like kicks that [ __ ] in the head and so then jimmy takes out two because he is displeased with this threat for obvious reasons and then it turns out cinnabon is like a really good archer and so she shoots one with an arrow um and then jimmy throws arrow guy over the the side of the bridge into the river so what i hear are saying is they work really well as a team they do work
really well as a team and so then he is really upset that he threw the arrow guy into the river because he promised her he wouldn't kill any more humans and he really doubted the guy was going to survive with an arrow after being thrown in the river and she's like um it's okay to it's okay to kill murderers and rapists yeah if they're like actively trying to kill me we can make an exception yeah i just meant like that man who's sitting at the coffee shop reading his book hasn't done anything
for you to murder him over right and a guy who slaps me like sure slap him around but don't kill him that's her that's the line for her you know i get her logic yeah i can see it so then jimmy makes a joke that he deserves some points for saving her from the bandits and she is um not impressed she is like okay so you think my heart is worth a few points that's what you think i'm worth to you are you kidding me and he's like well um how many points would it take for you to marry me
and she's like a thousand it would take a thousand points um and so he is so how many points did he get for protecting her from getting murdered we'll get there sorry i keep jumping ahead i know i feel like half my questions you're like chelsea you're gonna ruin the book just let me get there organically it'll come i'm too excited so he has not deterred by the thousand points he is not deterred and so honestly i don't know what the point value system is and i'm sure we'll get
there in a minute but when she said a thousand points in my head i'm like i feel like you're selling yourself short agreed a thousand is not nearly as high as i anticipated you saying so when he's when you're like he's not deterred by a thousand points i was like i wouldn't be either right it's three points for save me from bandits but she doesn't actually give him any points for the bandits we'll get there okay so um he kisses her and pulls her into his lap
and starts feeling her up a little bit and goes into detail about he's gonna how he's gonna eat her out and [ __ ] her he doesn't actually do anything right okay so he's just like narrating his plans to her yeah and this is like so this is like when we reviewed dirty ones and connor and sophia were [ __ ] and kira was just like narrating narrating whispering dirty [ __ ] in his ear and conor's ear like that's what's happening here yes okay and it's like when i say in detail it's like four pages
of detail that's some stephen king level [ __ ] about how he is going to eat her out and [ __ ] her like he is into it and she is like you need to stop right now and he's like okay and like immediately takes hands off he's like okay and so she goes and dunks her head in the river and he follows her he's like are you okay and she's like i will literally give you a hundred points if you leave me alone right now oh damn and so he's like yes ma'am sayonara my lady he's like yes ma'am
um so they get to the next city and jimmy is like i sense a lot of demons here but i don't see any um what is going on in tree so they decide they're like we need to stop at a tavern we need to find like a a an inn so we can stay somewhere um guys i'm gonna apologize really fast i need to pour myself a new glass of wine in case you're wondering we aren't sponsored by bota box but it'd be a lot cooler if we were today we are drinking the nighthawk black bold cab sav it's rich bold and smooth oh i
was reading the label and my my pore went a little harder than i intended for it to um i apologize i this just felt like it needed a a freshie so we needed it we did so jimmy fallon is like there's a lot of demons here but i just i can't see them i can just sense them right i feel them i don't see them so um they decide they're gonna stop at a tavern they're gonna get a room and um these two different merchants are on the street trying to convince them to come to their separate ends
and as they're talking they one of them is like honey your demon doesn't have a collar that's illegal and she's like what i'm sorry what and so they find out that the people in this city keep demons as like pets or slaves and um yeah so they're all supposed to wear collars legally and so they have a different relationship in this city with demons as like the goddess city that cinnabun grew up in right so she's kind of from the sticks and this is more of a metropolis kind of situation
um so jimmy is pushed he is very unhappy with the idea that demons are being kept as slaves um and so they get to their room um they they choose one of the merchants they get to their room they're trying to come up with a plan like what do we do here like i don't know and the innkeeper overhears the conversation um and she's like um jimmy opens the door and he's like how long have you been there and she's like um wild enough and she's like um so listen i don't know
if you need help but i will help you and they're like i'm sorry what why why would we trust you you random eavesdropper exactly and she says that she didn't know that demons were sentient like they'd been taught that demons were like less than animals and she didn't know that they could talk she didn't know they had feelings she didn't know and so she recognizes that none of this is right so the common denominator is that like no humans culturally understand the nuance of demon life
forms correct okay um and so she's like i didn't know they were held against their will i will help you so um apparently the mascot for her in is a hyena i don't know why she was on the wrong side of the lion king apparently yeah and she so she has a dancing hyena and she's like i have an idea let's so she has to cinnamon has to get close to the temple to destroy the chalice and in this city there are mages who are like priests who are like all over the place so she's like
the demon and i will cause a distraction with my hyena who dances and that will make it easier for you to get into the temple um and so cinnabon is mining her own business jimmy and the innkeeper usha um have gone ahead to start the distraction and she's supposed to go separately so that people don't realize they're together so she's walking along and then she finds this merchant who is selling nachos which she has never seen before and she's very excited about the nachos
so she gets a bucket of nachos oh man i could i could [ __ ] up about a basket or a bucket honestly probably just a basket of knife here's the thing i think a bucket of nachos feels a little advantageous that is extreme but like i could [ __ ] up a basket of nachos i didn't think i was hungry at all until i said bucket of nachos and now i could eat where's fondue when you need her she's back in the village um so she sees a guy being beaten in the road so he's wearing a collar that's less fun
and he's being beaten and um so she goes up to this this guy so she notices as she's walking all of these different like pelts and furs that are really beautiful she's like i've never seen anything that color that's so crazy that's beautiful and so she sees this guy beating another guy and she's like um oh what the [ __ ] are you doing like everybody's just watching and she's like um excuse me what the hell and he's like this is a werewolf and he's blonde which means that his
pelt is blonde which means it's very rare and i want it and then she realizes that all of the very pretty furs that she had seen were demon furs and she's like oh [ __ ] this is not okay with me so she decides that she's gonna buy him from this guy and he's like um i could get plenty for his pelt and she's like well i'm a farmer and he looks pretty strong so i'll take him so she haggles and she also gets a lamia which apparently is like a a half man half snake situation bottom half snake
and i appreciate the clarification on which i knew you were gonna be important i knew you were gonna ask bottom half snake um and she's like uh oh okay i guess so she frees them both with her pouch of cinnamon that she has on her on her hip thank goodness she advocated to bring the spice rack in their wagon and i forgot she has these big skirts that have lots of pockets in them and so a lot of times oh she just goes pulls out things from her skirt like at one point she's like i'm kind of
hungry and just pulls out a loaf of bread and jimmy is like what the [ __ ] is happening and she's like are you hungry good because this is mine it just eats it so years and years and years ago when i was working in youth ministry one of my favorite things that happened is i had a student wearing cargo shorts and i look over and he had a full-size pack of oreos just in his cargo shorts and i looked over and i was like are those oreos and he's like oh do you want some and just like takes him out
and i was like before that moment i never understood but truly in that moment when he was giving me an oreo i was like [ __ ] do i understand cargo shorts like do i co-sign cargo shorts now i was like i do if they have oreos in the pocket and so i mean or tater tots well if napoleon dynamite taught us anything those tater tots but if you kick the pocket you just have a mush smoosh my tater tots so i was at lunch this week with my peers at work and the first person who ordered at
lunch was like i will have such and such burger um and tater tots extra crispy and i was like you can get tots extra crispy here and she was like yeah and so literally we went around the table there were like seven or eight of us and every single one of us ordered todd's extra crispy and the waitress was like that's really good because if one of you had wanted regular tots you wouldn't have gotten them everyone is getting extra crispy right i was like in the fry basket yeah
everyone is getting crispy they're all extra crispy and they were delicious for the record and i had a burger this is an aside called the florida burger and it had so it had the like standard beef patty pimento cheese strawberry jam and jalapenos like pickled jalapenos i don't know what i thought you were going to say when you said it was called the florida burger but i don't think any of those although i mean like i guess like plant city you have the strawberry festival every year right
i mean it didn't scream florida to me but it was delicious and so were the tots for the record so anyway she buys a werewolf and a lamia and so she frees them both and also okay so this is another thing while i was uh outlining this book lamia continually labia autocorrected to labia over and over again and honestly the first time you said it it took me a second and i paused and i was like no she meant what she said that's not she didn't mean labia i didn't mean labia so when i i so the next day
after outlining this part i had to go through and everywhere i put lamia had to make sure that it said lame yet and not labia because because we do review smoke so you could need use of both words for obvious reasons so anyway so she frees them both with her cinnamon and they're super suspicious of her but they agree to help they're like wait a minute you're going after the witch we're in let's do this [ __ ] so she's like you have to continue to wear a collar while we're here so that
people think that you're still under reverse harems it's not okay it's not i wasn't sure if that's where the trajectory was taking us it's a good question jimmy's too possessive for that so that was my thought um so then she continues on her way because she was on the way to the temple to destroy the top the chalice so she continues there are mages everywhere and so um a fight ensues there are mages everywhere throwing potions and magic and stuff and one of them hits her horses with a
flying potion and they grow wings and fly away which becomes relevant later um does that would get wings did you become a pegasus is that i guess yes they're pegasuses pegasus literally i was like what's the plural pegasi pegasus i think pegasi just feels slightly better there are two pegasus and so they fly away she gets injured in the fight jimmy loses his ever loving [ __ ] and shifts into a dragon to destroy the town what yeah so she does destroy the chalice she's
injured by one of those blood bone ogre thingies and so then jimmy like loses it and apparently he's a dragon so he like takes off into the sky and starts just shooting fire and destroying the town and so uh do are all demons dragons no okay no so the other two demons that she rescued we had the werewolf and the werewolf demon yeah so he looks like a man but he is a demon who is a werewolf and then the lamia is the snake man he's the snake man bottom half snake man snake snake man whatever
and so uh usha the innkeeper who agreed to help is like hey i'm gonna go get a ship because that's gonna be the quickest way to get to the third temple um and you need to go get your man and uh cinnabon is like um when you say my man exactly she's like i don't i don't [Music] and the werewolf whose name is felix and the lamia whose name is ambrose agreed to come along this journey to defeat the witch and so they go with usha to secure a ship so then cinnabon goes to stop what's his noodle jimmy
um he's like a an ultimate danger noodle at this point i feel like that's what a dragon the ultimate danger noodle nothing sounds intimidating about the danger noodle you're like what's this noodle over there he's the ultimate danger noodle of all of the danger noodles i feel like that's what a dragon is like a regular danger noodle it's like a rattlesnake her water moccasin but like the ultimate noodle or an eel like an electric eel situation but the ultimate danger noodle would be a dragon
but that danger noodle has a lot of extra parts he doesn't have wings how was he flying to shoot fire at the town stop so he's mushu for mulan yes just shooting fire killing this town yes so yes mushu from milan is the ultimate danger so fallon aka jimmy aka mushu is destroying the town and she goes to stop him and she frees some gladiators who had been kept as or some demons who'd been kept as gladiators um and when she frees them they're all like you looking for a mate
boo because we are into that and she's like um the dragon is my mate thanks so wait has she embraces at this point or she just trying to not piss off the danger she's trying to not piss off the gladiator demons oh um so not even pissing off jimmy fallon it was about not pissing off the present danger yes okay um and so then he lands behind her and he's like um so i'm your mate and she's like that's not the point you're a dragon anything else you want to share and he's
like uh yeah i'm 124 years old [Laughter] okay why wouldn't he be communication matters you embrace so much in a paranormal book do you you we embrace it you accept so much without questioning it in a paranormal book apparently although kind of a paranormally i was not the best joke i would like to formally apologize to everyone hannah wasn't ready i wasn't ready i need a hot second y'all okay so fallon aka jimmy aka mushu transforms back into a man and he picks her up and goes into the
coliseum where all the demon gladiators were so that they can bathe um and like wash off all of the the battle um and find some clothes and he asks her like what are you so afraid of because obviously you're into me you know good for you for putting that question out there jimmy yeah he you know good on jimmy for owning his confidence because i feel like it takes a lot to tell a woman that she's into you because for me as soon as a man says i know you're into it i am not anymore that is also
all right to be fair i i think i was focusing more on like the conversation aspect of like so what are you so afraid of like why are you holding yourself back like it seems like you're into this was more of the interpretation i was going that is the goal i think like that's the intent less of like i know you're into me why won't you just embrace it and you're like no that does not land as well the tone comes later so then um she tells him about her ex-boyfriend who
left her because she was too boring and so because she didn't want to go on these adventures and stuff anymore after her sister died and so she's like i'm pretty sure you're gonna get tired of me like you're a demon who does all these amazing things like you're gonna be bored with me eventually that's sad um when we finish our quest and then um he ties her to the bed at that point he's like you are not boring let me demonstrate ties her to the bed and eats her out
very thoroughly according to my notes yeah so he was just making good on the promise from earlier when he very thoroughly told her how he planned to eat her out yes he delivered fully and for some reason i have page 101 on here if anyone wants to know where that
that [ __ ] is at it's page 101. okay but what was that on your kindle and what font size were you using it was on my kindle and i don't know i mean i guess it probably still is page 101 because i don't think that shifts but i'm i do know when you like zoom in to like 12 point font or size 12 font on your kindle but then the page numbers stay the same until you get to the next i never actually know because i don't actually well here's the thing i never put my non-page number i
always keep my kindle on um time left in chapter me too yeah so i like never actually know i'm like i could be reading a page and a half versus what like the book was published as but i actually never have any idea what page number i'm on i always keep it to time left also but anyway so regardless she has an excellent orgasm and then good for her and good for him so then he unties her and tells her to turn on her side um and keep her legs together and this just we're just gonna go here
so he then starts [ __ ] between her thighs but he doesn't actually penetrate her is is he rubbing against her lips or is he is rubbing against her labia yes i'm really sorry you guys [Laughter] okay so we go with it yeah so he won't [ __ ] her because she hasn't consented to mate him and consent matters it does so um that's how that happens she has another orgasm because apparently he's bumping up against stuff that she's into and then um he's like i still want to meet you
like this [ __ ] is still on the table and she's like um is it i don't know and so then they go to sleep and that's it and then when you said that's it for a second i thought you meant that's how the book no that's not how the book ends but that is how the scene ends okay okay go to sleep and he holds her very gingerly it's very sweet um and he's like you could never be boring you are horribly interesting because that's apparently his descriptor for her so then
felix who is the werewolf demon that she rescued is there when she wakes up and um fallon is not so he says they're going to meet fallon usha who's the innkeeper in ambrose who is the lamia at a ship so she needs to like get up and get dressed so they get there and usha is arguing with the other shopkeeper from the street where fallon and cinnamon were previously and he calls her a fat she whale and ambrose gets pissed and throws are our other innkeeper through a wall and then ushers usha away
he's like come with me boo because i'm into that and so then usha and cinnabon are co-captains at this point of this ship and um they decide they're going to have a feast to celebrate because several demons who've been freed from slavery when they when when jimmy destroyed the town um are very grateful for their freedom and so they agreed to be essentially the like crew of the ship and so um they have a feast for them so then usha another female demon named
holly who i if i'm remembering correctly is a centaur and felix who has declared his himself as cinnabon's bestie um all eat it while um they try to convince cinnabon to go declare her feelings to jimmy because she's feeling it like she's intuited this and like everyone else knows she's into it everybody knows everybody knows but like she's like but i don't know like like i feel weird so cause like what if he's not really into me like what if he just wants to get laid so
she then goes to find him after her friends hype her up she goes to find him and then she chickens out and she's like goes back to her friends she's like i couldn't do it i couldn't do it and then she just gets smash hammer drunk that is literally what my notes say she gets smash hammer drunk so then our girl cinnabon wakes up with a terrible hangover surrounded by cheese because apparently while she was very drunk she declared herself the cheese queen and demanded that all the members of
of the crew of the ship bring her all the cheese they could find and so in her her quarters she is just surrounded by cheese i've heard of way worse ways to wake up than with like all of the cheese of your choosing agreed so then she's like maybe i dreamed that maybe that's not real cause i really hope not because she doesn't remember everything so then um one of the crew comes in and it's like hey we found a cargo ship you want to approve us robbing that real quick and she's like i literally
don't care get out go do whatever you want just go at this point my head is killing me like i'm hungover rob whoever you think you need to rob just don't interrupt me exactly and jimmy is in bed with her but they're both clothed so then um she tells jimmy that she loves him she's like actually you know what i love you and he is like bet time to mate [ __ ] and she's like yup so then he bites her to complete the mating and she gets like super horny she's like i will literally
do anything for a klondike bar like what do i have to do like what do i have to do and he says listen here's what you don't know about dragons i am super petty and you have made me wait for a month so you can wait and leaves her [Laughter] whoa oh he's like hey fallon he's like mushu jimmy classic mushu jimmy over there so she's like uh what and he's like you just approved the crew to rob a ship we need to go support their efforts you're the captain and like goes to help them rob the ship
so and so she thinks that the whole cheese queen thing maybe she made up in her mind but when she comes out felix who has declared himself her bestie is like what up cheese queen how's it hanging she's like god damn it i think it's sweet she just misses her best friend brie fondue she does so anyway the mating is complete she's super horny they go to assist with robbing of the other ship and they come out and they find that the whole other crew has already surrendered and everybody's like
well that's [ __ ] lame that was underwhelming we were really hoping for a fight here and then they the members of their crew who had boarded the other ship bring someone up who has a collar on who's obviously a demon who is enslaved and fallon is like um that's a [ __ ] dragon uh everybody panic he's like this is a trap this is not good and so the dragon then shifts and this is a um an ice dragon i think if i'm remembering correctly of course jimmy is a um fire dragon he well he's a a
shadow dragon the [ __ ] does that so he's he has shadows and fire anyway i don't know it's not really important so then um my notes say um dragon shifts and [ __ ] everybody up so then jimmy also shifts and there's a big fight in the air cinnabon rides one of her flying horses who just showed back up um to help she shoots arrows that are tipped with cinnamon into the other dragon trying to like break the spell but then she recognizes that the third chalice is actually tied to his neck so
the cinnamon isn't going to be enough to break the spell because the witch's essence is like permeating on his [ __ ] yeah so she jumps on to the other dragon's back to smash the chalice and then they crash land on an island jimmy comes right behind and crashes as well everybody shifts back to their human form and then passes out and then she wakes up being carried by a very naked jimmy to a waterfall on the island and he's like it's time to bang i don't know what i was thinking with this whole
like petty [ __ ] but i'm not with it anymore and it's it's time so he he was like i'm really petty about sex until we have a near-death experience and then i just want to be near you basically yes there so he is super dominating there's a lot of like praise kink happening as well um and so it's very much like are you gonna be my good little girl like that kind of [ __ ] and then he eats her out and bangs her from behind and it's life-changing um and so then
they start walking back um and gathering fruit and food and stuff to eat and then all of a sudden our girl cinnabon is like holy [ __ ] we didn't use any kind of protection like oh god like i am not ready to be a parent are you ready to be a parent and she has like this whole moment and jimmy was like hold up babe i got you covered he had a rune directly under his belly button to prevent pregnancy and she's like you are so awful and so she kisses it like kisses the rune and then she is like i
like this position i'm gonna blow you so she starts to blow him while rubbing one out and then usha shows up and is like i found them we should come back later and jimmy is like bet let's finish this and cinnabon is no longer in the mood she's like you can finish it yourself thanks so they go back to the ship the other dragon the spell has been broken and so he is older he's a storm dragon and he offers to pull the ship storm dragon not ice dragon he's a storm
dragon he offers to pull the ship in order to cut the travel time so they have now destroyed three out of the four chalices and so he's like allow me so they do all of that they get to this like mountain pass thing um oh i forgot so while the storm dragon is pulling the ship cinnamon is super sick like really really seasick and fallon is very very sweet like bringing her things and like taking good care of her it's all very nice so then they get to this mountain pass
and then jimmy has shadow power so he like hides the ship in shadows so that they can stay under the radar um and then he shifts and has everybody get on his back so that he takes them up to the temple because this is like he doesn't have wings he doesn't have wings i feel very strongly about him just slithering through the air without wings kimberly i'm loving the book you wrote so far but i'm very confused on the lack of dragon wings and his upward gravity-defying mobility it's magic
you can't just keep whispering it's magic that doesn't cover everything sure it does fine jimmy the shadow dragon yeah without his wings yeah takes them up to the temple fair and then some humans come out to stop them and it turns out this is like the four people that were selected by the goddess slash witch so one of them is the girl from her village and the other one turns out is her ex [Music] and so there's a big fight and jimmy fights the two idiots from her
village and rips off her ex's arm he's into ripping off arms and then usha and our girl cinnabon they fight the evil witch there's lots of things happening there's like the blood and bone ogre thing again and usha is hurt and so she's struggling some and then cinnabon so so during the mating apparently they share magic and so she should be able to control some of his powers but that's something that usually takes a pretty significant amount of time but obviously
in this case cinnamon calls jimmy's magic to create shadows herself to like throw off the evil witch and destroys the chalice however the witch still has the one body so she's destroyed all the stuff that makes her immortal and like all the separate containers so essentially we got rid of all of the horcruxes yes but we still have the one body so we did rip off harry potter slightly we did okay um and so then um cinnabon is also injured and then jimmy kills the witch absorbing all of her power
um and then one of the remaining heroes so there are four so the the two from her village are like oh [ __ ] like this is not a goddess like this is not a good situation we should help cinnamon and then one of the remaining heroes is like this [ __ ] trying to kill our goddess like blah blah blah and tries to kill her so then jimmy kills him like rips off his head and then he goes after the other two village idiots but then cinnamon protects them jimmy grabs her flies away tells her
just have a nice nap babe like just have a nap and so then she wakes up a few days later we're almost to the end she wakes up a few days later back on the island where their mating was officially consummated and um he used the the magic that he absorbed from the witch to like build them a house and like have a nice place for them to stay um he made her a crab boil because he was paying attention when she was making her crawdad boil and so he was like i paid attention i made you food did they
have all of them necessary seasoning they did oh thank god so then um he tells her that he wanted her to sleep for a few days because he didn't want her to see how upset he was about the whole situation with her being injured and that also he just wants to keep her on the island for a few years until she gets mastery over his powers and can protect herself better and she's like um can't you just make me a shield like you shielded yourself the only option yeah she's like you shielded yourself
jackass like can you not shield me and he's like i'm an idiot yes i can do that she's like i know i know that's why that's our new game plan and so they bang it's actually super hot because they're having this whole conversation whatever and she's like okay okay okay now flip me over and tell me i'm a good girl oh my god damn good for you girl okay get it so then epilogue three months later she gets home finally um very happy family reunion everybody's very happy to see her everything is great
um and that's the end and you know i really did enjoy this book very much i will say i was a little disappointed that there wasn't more development for the side characters because i got even with like the brief moments with usha and bree and ambrose and felix and everything like i got kind of invested in them oh i want to know how they're doing yeah i was like wait a minute like do ambrose and usha get together because i hope so like i hope that they're gonna be a series
yes this is the first one um but still like normally in series where it's like a standalone for each couple there's a little bit more of something there's something that's like leading you and being like oh i can't wait for when their book drops exactly instead of just like what yeah i mean this one sounded super fun it was really it was a really excellent vacation read you know it i never had any doubt that our main characters weren't going to get together
and have a happily ever after there was never any like super angst where i was concerned about anybody's safety but it did have enough intrigue to keep me like it was engaged it was funny it was really funny so okay what would we rate it then i'm gonna say four out of five crawfish well those are pretty small okay okay just more cheese wheels jeez how many wheels of gouda how many fondue pots oh how many fondue pots um i'm gonna go with like eight and a half out of ten full fondue pots that's a
great review thank you i i love fondue i can [ __ ] up some dippable chocolates and jesus 100 and i really did like this was an enjoyable read like there were some things that i wish were a little bit more it was a short book so there were things that i wish that she had gone into a little bit more uh but again like it was a really fun read um and the story was interesting and the characters were funny and the dialogue was good so yeah eight full fondue pots one half fondue pot out of ten
when i used to work psychiatric crisis my supervisor was a magician on the side and one of his like standing gigs was at the melting pot as a magician is is is the fondue not magic enough like you need a card trick and a balloon animal on top of that i mean i don't um no i think eight and a half fondue pots is a great rating especially because like fondue is versatile you have plenty of types each pot could be filled with a different kind of type of cheese or chocolate damn
i could [ __ ] up some i was just thinking that all right i think i want some cheese we're gonna go find something now because i think we made ourselves hungry so this one sounds fun i haven't read it yet but i'm really excited for this author as they are dropping more stuff and i can't wait to read it in the future yep 100 so thank you all for joining us for this review of that time i got drunk and saved a demon by kimberly lemming thank you yeah we hope you have a great day smart [ __ ]
or smut puppies depending on where you're at or [ __ ] pups was that the third one [ __ ] we're not gonna remember all of these choose your own name we hope you have a great day bye next week on smack club i'm here to provide the perspective of some i have never read no okay i'm lying after middle school i have not read any smut and sometimes thank you you were reading smut oh yeah in middle school what kind um so okay this is gonna be very specific but okay so let me see if i can find it it's
called like a hustler's wife hold up you read a book called a hustler i don't hear i don't think you need to find it yes by nicki turner by nikki turner anyone who knows those hood classics from back in the day yes because there was a hustler's wife and then there was forever a hustler's wife the autobiography of a hustler's wife so this was the first month you've read since middle school when you read a hustler as well and these are the the like images did your mother know you
were reading these characters no because we would go to barnes and noble and then in this would be in the african-american book section would be these books and so me and my sisters would buy them and we would just swap them out and they were okay i don't want to be disrespectful they weren't the best but they were disgusting and so y'all didn't read smut books in middle school no no no can't say i did [Music] well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ] we hope it was good for you because it
sure was great for us if you're digging what we're doing it would mean a lot if you'd take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend us an ear we love you we appreciate you and we'll see you next week stay spotty [Music]