EP 14: Pretty Secrets

well hello all you beautiful people you know what time it is [Music] ladies and gents guys and dolls and everyone in between gather round get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on because it's time for smut club here's your hosts chelsea and hannah hey everybody and welcome to smut club hi friends we're glad you're here hi smut pups [ __ ] pups smut [ __ ] whatever title you want that you want to give yourself however you choose to identify however you

choose to identify your welcome here we're glad you're here let's hang i'm hannah i'm chelsea let's talk about some smut that we've read lately let's do it so today chelsea is doing a standalone i am um well so right now it's a standalone because the second book hasn't dropped yet so it's not actually a standalone it's a duet it might be more than that i'm curious to see the scenes the author's journey well so all right it's where today we're reviewing pretty secrets by ian moore um

the only books that i've seen that iamore has dropped on goodreads thus far are this book pretty secrets and the prequel hush hush um i've read both enjoyed them both definitely want to know where this series is gonna take us so this book we're doing some reverse harem today into that felt like we hadn't had a good reverse harem in a smidge so i wanted to make sure we kept our options relevant and open you know this book follows eden astor she goes by edie throughout the book okay and in the

prologue where we open up edie's older sister like a year older than her delilah who went by d died so is this a fantasy no okay this is like reverse harem kind of like dark academia secret society like a like a mafia bent why don't i just review it and you'll find out there's no mafia there's just a secret society just let me guess that's like when we reviewed that when i got drunk and saved the demon and you kept like and i kept like guessing and you're like well get there chelsea damn

i just inquiring minds and right you're spoiled you're excited my favorite is that i like i'm like so where the book opens in the prologue is the sister is dead and you're like okay i have a lot of questions i'm like we're still in the prologue girl inquiring minds and sharing minds so prologue we're at dee's funeral edie is vowing that she's going to avenge her sister's death her sister died on devil's night and um her sister drowned but edie's like she wouldn't have been in the water like

my sister didn't know how to swim she wouldn't have been in the water she wouldn't have drowned because she never would have been in the water in the first place so clearly she was murdered and i need to eventually there is foul play afoot yes um her sister had been pledging essentially like a secret society called the knights of arcadia they go by the knights for short um okay what don't tell me your thoughts anna don't hold back now for some reason all i could think of was arcade fire

and i was like they're not nice this entire book is about edie astor avenging her sister's death with an arcade fire play soundtrack in the background yes we love a good vengeance story line yeah so all right edie was a year younger than her older sister and was kind of like i'm not [ __ ] with all of like the family societal expectations of being like of an affluent family so edie had taken off and had moved to the west coast was living in california going to a

different school there surfing just chilling living her life when her sister dee dies and she wants to avenge her death she decides she's going to move back to the east coast and enroll at carnegie university which is the school that her sister had been attending when she passed away okay that's like affiliated with the knights of arcadia so this is like her intention to investigate her sister's death is the whole motivation behind this transfer you get it i got it yes i got it it

reminds me of um the boys of zodiac have you read that one i feel like that one pops up on like a recommended list all the time but i haven't actually read it yet well that one's fantasy but it's the same thing but it's a high school the girl transfers there because her brother dies okay and so she's like something's fishy rivers harem in high school makes me feel weird like i'll literally be reading a like a description of a book i'm like this sounds so good i can't wait to read it

and i'm like oh wait they're in high school a bunch of like 17 year olds [ __ ] just feels gross i mean like good for you but i just don't want to read it well and i think it's been a while since i read that one but i think so they're they're faye so their high school ends at like age 20 or something so they're actually like 18 or 19 i think if i'm remembering or i feel like it's frequently that like the characters got held back so they're like 19 in high school and i'm like this doesn't make me

feel better about it but anyway sorry so the book starts chapter one we're ten months in the future and this book is going to shift points of view several times every chapter essentially we're going to switch um we're going to switch between the dudes we're going to

switch between 80. so we first chapter we are now following point of view leo jarvis leonardo jarvis his grandfather very very high up in the knights of arcadia um leo had been there's like different levels so like you're a pledge and then once you've kind of like made it through like the pledge level of getting into the nights you become a fledgling and then after a fledgling you become like a full-blown knight so all we know is that like leo had been in this process and got kicked out at some

point and how many dudes do we have in this harem there's gonna be three okay at least in this one we'll see in the future if anything shifts okay so yes this book is ten months in the future from the funeral where edie decides she's going to avenge her sister's death um yeah leo's like super brash his entire like demeanor is like i don't give a [ __ ] and like um edie's moving into jarvis hall and his name is leo jarvis and so he's like i'll kick out of like i'll kick everyone out of the

residence hall if they don't [ __ ] me like i have that clout he's just gross yeah he's like the black sheep of his family um his grandfather has given him the job of spying on edie um to make sure she's not doing [ __ ] she shouldn't but he doesn't really know what that means he's just like my grandpa told me to like watch her i guess that's what i'm gonna do and so he's watching her as she gets to carnegie so she gets to school and when she gets there like

she had been on the west coast and was kind of outside of the society so she's like way more like i'm wearing like jean cutoffs and no makeup and not like super like business casual attire as her resting state i guess and so like she gets there and she's already like she's like all right i'm moving in she's moving into dee's old dorm room oh yeah so she's moving into her sister's dorm she's already like plotting her like [ __ ] nancy drew skills on how she's gonna solve this mystery

and then suddenly she runs into her best friend prince oliver um and hold up yes timeout yep no go for it i was about to explain but i can't wait for the questions so is his name prince or is he a prince he is a prince um he has royal lineage over in england and she always calls him number five and like later in the book someone's like why do you call him number five and she's like because he would be fifth in line for the throne had there not been this scandal where like he's not

eligible yes okay so he's an actual prince so his name is oliver his name is oliver and they're besties they're besties they've grown up together so how did she not know that he was there and she was gonna see him because he's been in love with her since childhood so how does that preclude her from knowing he's gonna be there because he's like oh i'm also going to show up at the school and then attend and then protect her and keep her safe while she is hell-bent on

solving this mystery so this isn't like a wink-wink star stalker situation honestly i low-key felt that way a little bit um like he she like doesn't know that he was planning all of us we'll also we're gonna switch to oliver's point of view in a second okay okay um so she runs into oliver all of her is also like oh yeah i'm i'm also living in this dorm room and she's like jarvis hall is a girl's dorm and he's essentially like i'm royalty [ __ ] i can do whatever the

[ __ ] i want and you're in this building so i'm in this building there's two of them yes great so yes we then switched to oliver's point of view in perspective oh also worth noting um we get d not we d we get edie into d's dorm and the roommates were all thinking they were being sweet and they cleaned up and boxed up all of these stuff right exactly so then like edie's pissed because the room is clean and she's like now like i'm it's going to be harder to find clues and

everything from like where it kind of had been so like she's pissed because she gets there and the dorm doormates had like cleaned the room and thought they were being helpful but we're not so yeah we switched to oliver um before oh yeah prince oliver he's been in love with her since childhood they met i think when they were like nine or some [ __ ] like that they lost their virginity to each other in high school and then once her sister passed away he like became very nervous and was just

kind of keeping closer tabs on her which yes to your point even when i was reading i was like so he stalked her it doesn't really sound like she knew any of this was happening and so like were they together when they slept together or was it like uh you're a dude i'm a chick we're friends like let's see it was more of that like they've never been in a full relationship together i think it was more like we grew up together you're safe you're hot let's i'd i'd rather lose my originator to

someone safe i don't know i'm creating a narrative here that i'm the book may have told me but i forgot so i don't think it did so i'm just creating this one noted yeah so like they move in and then they're like all right let's like let's take a nap so that they lay down in her bed and edie falls asleep and then oliver's just sitting there kind of processing and thinking about all of this and she's hot in there and he's been in love with her forever so he gets super worked up and he starts

masturbating in bed next to her while she's sleeping if i worked up do you mean just wicked hard like what does worked up mean i i do hannah i do mean wicked hard he got worked up he got a log in the river there she is and so like this is all while she's sleeping and he just like comes on her sheets which also i gotta say i would be i'd be so pissed like i'm like what the [ __ ] so just as an aside which is not relevant right now but i did just think of it so i've been watching trailer park

boys like re-watching it recently go on love it and at one point bubbles i don't remember the context but bubbles is like oh yeah he was feeding the geese as a way to say that somebody was masturbating and i literally like looked at my husband and i was like that shit's going in the podcast and he was like baby you need the hand motion for that to make sense because it's like he has his hand down low and it's like he's spreading bird feed but from his dick and so

that's like feeding the geese so all i can think about right now is this [ __ ] is feeding the geese in her bed okay well go it's about to get in my opinion a little worse before it gets better i don't know if it gets better um but it does get worse so he comes all over her sheets and then wakes her up by fingering her jesus christ and then is like super aroused but he's like oh like if she moved her hand an inch lower it would be in my jizz that's on her sheets so then he's like oh i'm

gonna eat her out so he takes his semen from the sheets and starts like smearing it all over her cuckoo as like a claiming motion before he eats her out and i hated everything about you do me a favor real quick and stop just stop okay i'm done like and that's the episode y'all because i don't i have feelings and i need to call nancy my therapist because i have feelings hey nancy thanks for all you do i'm so sorry that this is awesome [ __ ] and so then he's eating her out and then

he's like and now we're playing london bridge which is our game which is where i spell out the words london bridge with my tongue on her nether region that is not what a london bridge is but anyway carry on you're right that is not what a london bridge is it's his own game version of a london bridge so they play london bridge his version of it she comes and then she offers to blow him but then he's like oh i don't want to take advantage of my depressed best friend so then he just goes into her

bathroom and masturbates again so i distinctly remember about 30 seconds ago asking you to stop what the [ __ ] remember before we started this book and i looked at you and said at some point you're gonna be like what the [ __ ] and you're like that's gonna be a big thing to get me to say what the [ __ ] about a sex scene and i'm like also this is like chapter two or three of the book so yes he goes he masturbates um and then they're like hey like they decide together they're they

need to go shopping to get her an updated wardrobe so she can fit in as a pretentious school because she wants to pledge to become a knight so she's like the only way i'm going to figure out happening to my sister is if i join this [ __ ] secret society so does ali ollie oxenfree is he a member of this [ __ ] society or is he just like he also wants to pledge it which and because he's a prince and it's like all like powerful affluent men gross yes um so they're essentially like you need to

fit in and like lose the black sheep vibe so they go shopping for clothes and then while they're out shopping the cashier at the clothing store her name is holly and dee and edie look pretty similar and like honestly i thought they were twit the entire time i read this book i was like yeah they're twins they're twins they're twins and then when i read the prequel afterwards i was like no delilah was like a year older but they looked very very similar and so

everyone knows that dee has passed away tragically um and holly the cashier like mentions like she knew dee um and was one of the last people to see her alive why would you mention that in casual conversation and then she agrees to meet them for coffee so she can answer their questions because they're trying to get to the bottom of it okay you seem just so over this one already and i think we're still in chapter three so i'm nervous about no i i am i love it because there's so much here but also

buckle in but i also hate it yes so what we find out is that holly was hired by dee to be part of the entertainment for devil's night and edie's like what the [ __ ] like what do you mean my sister was like scheduling the entertainment of like scantily clad women and like she that doesn't sound like my sister what the hell and then holly had signed an nda saying she wouldn't talk to anyone about anything and she was never even questioned by the police about what she saw

so she was at the mansion that the knights of arcadia had the devil's night party at was one of the last people to see dee and was never questioned by police she does say that she saw dee arguing with someone on the dock okay we don't know who um and then she was like yeah it's so sad that she passed away like i i like they said she couldn't swim and then edie gets all pissed and she's like yeah she couldn't swim but she wouldn't have been in the water because she couldn't

swim so like she didn't drown like something happened to her she would not have been in the water um and then ollie like after this whole conversation ollie asks edie if she's spoken to keegan keegan is dee's fiancee who's a senior at carnegie university okay where they all attend um but keegan's been like m.i.a since dee passed away like wasn't even at her funeral um so it's kind of like they're like no we haven't but like things are weird and so i don't really know um

and then edie is like i think it was when holly was sitting there i don't know there's so much that happens in this book but like she looks at ollie and she's like oh like i'll be like i'm a great wing woman i'm happy to be your wing woman this year and ollie oliver is like i'm only here for one reason edie in case that wasn't obvious [Laughter] i'm only here for one reason and that is the dubious consent of fingering you and eating you out while you are asleep

yeah like he woke her up while fingering her but i do think there's another level of consent that's needed if you're rubbing your semen on someone i would agree that's good that's a really good thing hannah i'm glad um all right so back to leo now see how that seems to so leo is just like i've been following edie and she's not she's not a threat she's not doing anything and then he like sees her like out and about and her new clothing he's like yeah she's just

as pretentious as the rest of them i guess what i saw when she showed up a little more casual wasn't really who she was so his grandpa calls to check in while leo's like just straight plowing into this redhead just like good for leo right mid [ __ ] grandpa calls well hold up he answers yeah because that's the sort of person leo is okay well so it's about to get worse again before it gets better but it didn't get better the first time so while they're on the phone grandpa tells

leo that he's gonna let edie pledge for the knights that her dad is a knight and was like i want edie to have the chance so she's gonna get to pledge also where were they in person i don't know at some point like leo's grandpa calls him to him he's like yeah sure so i think this part the actual conversation is in person after he was plowing into the redhead so grandpa's like yeah edie's gonna get to pledge to be a knight um and part of the reason we're letting her

pledge is because there's like rumors circulating that like dee was killed because she was a female who was pledging and so they're like trying to like suddenly pretend like they give a [ __ ] about gender equality even though it's this like sexist old man society um and then grandpa is like yeah and another part of this leo we're reinstating your fledgling status as a knight so you're now back in the fold of it um and then his grandpa like grandpa's telling leo like do whatever you need to

do to like get to the bottom what's going on with edie like [ __ ] her own her do whatever you need and then the redhead that leo had been boning suddenly walks into the room and starts giving his grandpa a [ __ ] back to edie okay the look on hannah's face is like what the [ __ ] is happening here i mean i just okay [Laughter] oh no that's your only oh no okay so back to edie well wait wait wait wait wait did the redhead know grandpa or when did she just walk in and was

like i'm into that wrinkly sack or like what we don't really know the redheads motivations but grandpa's kind of one of those old creepy powerful men who thinks women are objects gross so i think it was more of like a power play for like oh you thought this like hot little redhead was yours she's not she's mine and like it was more to like [ __ ] with leo than anything else okay so i hate grandpa carry on that's the right feeling to have yes hold on to that anger so back to edie um

edie and oliver both get their invites to pledge for the knights we also learned oliver made himself an identical class schedule to edie so that she he could keep her safe and keep an eye on her um so he needs therapy and i think they all do but especially him not the dude whose grandpa just got a balloon from the girl he was [ __ ] i need him too not that not the girl whose sister was murdered these are the three we know so far i feel like if there is anyone who's

potentially dangerous it's the one who is not so mildly stalking his childhood love valid i'm just saying like that's not even my professional opinion just as a woman you know that is fair so they're like walking across campus to class and they see keegan on campus and like so wait they being edie and beauty and oliver yeah edie and ollie are walking to class because they have identical class schedules and they see keegan walking across campus and like edie's like i

want to go confront that [ __ ] and then when she looks at him she's like he's looking rough like he is looking hungry like he can just not look like he's doing okay maybe there's a piece of this puzzle that like is still missing for me so then um when edie kind of goes up and like wants to confront keegan suddenly mr barclay is there um mr barclay is the hot econ professor his first name is ulrich or al rick i don't know ulrich a-l-a-r-i-c not all right alaric or ulrich oh ulrich

honestly his entire [ __ ] name ulrich barclay i'm like what who hurt you yeah more why is this the name we chose you know remember in our very first episode when we talked about the name writer and rich bold or rich ripe and smooth or whatever the [ __ ] it was like if there's a name that is not rich ripe and smooth it would be alaric barclay it does not roll off the tongue with ease that is a fair statement so mr barclay prof barclay i guess is suddenly there

the hot econ professor like intercedes and then it's like hey edie can i speak with you um and then he like mentions the knights invite and like the activity at eight o'clock that night and then edie's like what there's an invite or like there's an activity h night like i got the invite but i didn't see anything about like an activity um and then edie like mentions that to oliver and he's like yeah he mentioned this activity like what um and ollie's like so weird and just kind of evaded and then

edie was like are you not is he like trying to sabotage my chances like is oliver trying to sabotage my chances of becoming a knight he is so spoiler switch switch back to ollie ollie did hide the night's note about the event at 8 pm that night but why because he wants to keep edie safe and doesn't think going down this like very dark pathway of trying to avenge her sister's death is the way to do that but yeah so then like oliver like goes like confronts barclay and barclay's like listen

[ __ ] i hand-delivered the invite so i know she was supposed to know it was at 8 pm so what what happened do i need to tell her that you're like you're [ __ ] with her so then like we're getting into those aspects so we have like a a dick measuring situation a little bit and so now we have met the three dudes okay so barkley's the third yes you have leo ollie barclay but i want to call him barkley i'm just gonna say the professor that's fine that's that's at least that

nickname makes sense some of the nicknames you go with for books i'm like we don't know who that's about the professor does make sense in my brain it tracks and i could explain it sometimes but i just choose not to and sometimes i guess i do explain it but regardless the professor is correct makes sense yes so there's kind of this like power dynamic there so then edie and oliver end up having this conversation and she's like don't use kid gloves with me and like don't get in

the way of my plan like i like uprooted my life and came here to figure this out so like don't [ __ ] with that he's like yeah yeah totally totally totally then he's like do you want a sip of water before we like go to this thing is he drugging her he was totally gonna try and drug her and so he was gonna try and do it anyway but leo happened to walk past and just like like accidentally hits the water bottle out of his hands and was like sorry and just keeps walking so did leo know

not that it was drugged leo's also just kind of an [ __ ] so it could have honestly just been by chance uh just general douchery yes so at the meeting with all of the knights they announced that they're like oh for female pledges safety they'll now be assigned a night of fledgling and a pledge as they go through the trials to keep them safe i wonder who her knight and fledgling and pledge will be who could it be hannah it's a mystery that you're gonna solve right now

probably yeah so edie's assigned barclay leo and oliver i know none of us saw that coming oh wow um so the meeting's done there they all go and then leo's like hey let's all go to drivers hall we need to have a meeting let's all get on the same page so they all go into um edie's dorm and she has like three dorm mates and leo calls a dorm meeting and for like the building for the girls living in their like dorm suite okay and it takes his dick out and it's like if one of y'all can make

me nut you can stay but if you can't all of you are out and we're taking this space over so um hold on um why i'm struggling so hard because like there's so many why didn't he just tell them all to get the [ __ ] out why did he need to take his dick out about it because you don't get your dick sucked that way hannah if you just tell them to leave but he wanted them to leave did he or did he want his dick suction to make a power move did he get his dick sucked so god damn it an

a redhead roommate yes yet another redhead i'm sensing that leo has a type right um starts blowing leo just like drops your knees and it's like all right if that's what i got to do that's what i got to do so she drops on her knees starts blowing leo barclay looks around and he's like well if it's necessary gina you've got me and gina's like the class president she's like okay so she just gets on her knees and starts blowing barclay the professor as well um and then another girl steps forward

to oliver and it's like i guess like you're mine but oliver like turns to eating he's like they're in there isn't a reason why she shouldn't blow me is there like totally trying to play edie's hand and he's like nope live your life so leo decides he's like all right the girls get five more minutes if they can't make any of us orgasm in five minutes they're all out but then edie's like i don't want these dudes as [ __ ] roommates so she decides she's gonna help the girls out so good for her so

she goes over to oliver and starts jacking all of her off while his while the other girl is still blowing him um and he got like real real close and then right as like leo calls time oliver comes like right afterwards so then they're like okay [ __ ] so then the guys decide to lock edie up stairs in her room while like they deliberate and come up with a game plan and they kick the other girls out and then all of the dudes are like trying to come up with a game plan and

then they overhear edie masturbating upstairs in her room because she's doing it loudly okay um in the morning they unlock edie's room and then she picks the lock on leo's door i don't know i don't doesn't matter all i have written is in the morning they unlock edie's room she picks lock on leo's door sexual tension moment [Laughter] like nothing happens between leo and edie but there's just this like budding chemistry between them right because she watched him get blown and then he

heard her masturbate you get it you you get all of this book i almost don't even need to review it um so then the whole gang is like we're gonna meet at a coffee shop to like game plan and then the barista at the coffee shop like looks at edie and is like oh are you dee's twin like like was like i knew your sister um like another one yeah it's like very clearly like knows who edie is and then as they're leaving the barista like tries to grab edie to talk to her pisses leo right the [ __ ] off

so leo knocks them down to the ground and it's a boy barista yes a boy barista recognizes a barista i'm sorry if it's a girl a phoebe if it's a boy fibo yes that's you get it so the male barista sees edie and then like is like oh like i knew your sister and then tries to grab her as she's leaving because he wants to talk to her and it pisses leo off so leo knocks the barista on the ground and then takes his dick out planning on peeing on the dude to make an example out of him so i am sensing

that leo has some anger issues yes and that you know how toddlers tend to have a fascination with their penises leo never moved past that why is it why is his first move to just whip his dick out that's the first move every time i think a lot of dudes would want to have that as their first move if it were more don't they have impulse control okay so the problem is really leo's lack of impulse control i don't know what the problem is but there is there's definitely problems and

we will learn a little bit more about why leo is the way leo is i don't think i want to that's fair um so then like edie intervenes and it's like you aren't gonna piss on this dude so um she tries to intervene leo throws her over his shoulder she bites him then an admin comes and breaks it up and is like drags edie and is like you need to come with me to the admin office we need to figure this out and so they're at the admin office and then suddenly there's a bag over her

head and she's grabbed and thrown in a car welcome to the trials it's the first trial as a pledge to make it into the knights of arcadia okay what none of us saw that coming i'm floored right hey there smud puppies we'll get you right back to the show in just a moment but first do you like us maybe even love us cause we sure love you and if you do love us don't tease us tell us in those ratings and reviews wherever you're listening right now maybe even send us over to a special

sexy someone that would enjoy getting smutty with us because you know the first rule of smug club is to talk about smut club all right i won't keep you any longer let's get back to the show [Music] switch to oliver oliver's the first one to realize that edie's gone so we do have to thank his stalkerish ways for something at some level but has he not already planted a tracker on her person because if he was a good stalker he would have had a tracker on her person

no but leo does in the future noted yeah so he realizes edie's gone all of the guys meet back at jarvis hall and they're like [ __ ] what do we do this is part of the trials like we clearly need to go get her back um leo hadn't realized that like the admin who came and grabbed her was sorry hannah that was my foot um i just reached out i just moved my foot and i got this look on her face i did not realize my foot was then touching her barefoot we had an awkward moment of eye

contact i straight-up thought that was brandon i could tell also brandon's my dog not my husband i know this book seems to have some like fetishy things and i just want to be very clear that like my husband was not under the table nor was my dog trying to get to hannah's feet so there's that um yes leo did not realize that the admin was a knight who was like i need to talk to edie got it so while they're all at the dorm kind of like plotting and brainstorming a

bouquet of black roses get delivered and i have nothing that says like to the death of your partnership unless you can find her um so leo calls his grandfather to ask where she is um and grandpa's like yeah all of the female pled things were taken it's a fight to get them back first like all of the teams were careless y'all are not doing a great job at this leo kind of from some context clues guesses where she's at and he's right so like they all get in a car and drive to this house

in a fluent neighborhood and like leo just happens to have a key but we don't fully know why and edie is tied up there and there's a camera on her so they find her they're like we got her back [ __ ] you switch to edie [Laughter] okay there's really no other way to like it feels the chapter shifts feel as dramatic reading them as describing have you ever watched bob's burgers it's one of my favorites bob's burgers i have definitely seen episodes but i wouldn't say i watch it consistently so

there are a set of twins in bob's burgers named andy and ollie and they do this thing every now and then where they go back to you andy back to you ollie back to you andy back to you ollie and that's all i can think about right now that's a pretty app description because i feel that exact way back to edie um so back to edie they're now at the dorm edie rightly so she has a panic attack and is like freaked the [ __ ] out i understand and she locks herself in her room

and ollie like comes to her door and he's trying to help and she's like no i don't want to be near anyone so then barclay like pixel luck lets himself into her room and they end up cuddling and like he's like helping her calm down and then he tells her that the house that she was at was the house that leo grew up in where leo's like parents died so like there's like a mind [ __ ] on several levels yeah okay okay so so we learned leo's parents are dead yes in this and so like and that he's

always kind of been reliant on his grandpa because his parents were dead right he could manipulate him and the professor's creepier than we thought just cuddling with a woman who's having a panic attack i mean i think it was post-panic attack like it didn't seem as like it seemed more helpful in the book than creepy okay i'll take your word for it post panic attack if you were like coming down from it so i just want to say like in the context of the the sheet jizz and the

the sleep fingering and the whip and the dick out like the cuddling is creepy that's like that's the part that you're like that's the part where you go what the [ __ ] is the cuddling leo just planned on whipping his dick out to piss on a man and cuddling is freaking you out nancy we i think we may have found something for you and hannah to talk about next session i have some questions the best part of this is nancy is like a i don't know 70 year old lady who's just

lovely and so sweet and i would never discuss dick whipping with her maybe i would i shouldn't say that that was therapeutically appropriate and necessary it's not just something i would bring up randomly anyway sorry nancy um so leo decides he's gonna go confront his grandfather because he's pissed and his grand grandpa's like just like you know he's like this isn't for show like you actually are back as a fledgling status with the knights like don't [ __ ] it up like you can actually

get back in um leo kind of starts to like get triggered and have some flashbacks from his parents house and so he's like [ __ ] all this i'm just gonna go get drunk i'm gonna go to the bar i'm not dealing with any of this i'm gonna find a redhead essential like i guess that's his thing so i don't know if she's a redhead he does take home the bartender to the dorm room that he's sharing with the two other dudes and edie um so he takes her home and then as they're coming in like

making like leo and the bartender are making noise in the foyer edie's in the kitchen and like hears them so she interrupts and like tells the bartender that leo has an std i like that yeah and so the bartender is like all right well i'm out of here good talk everybody so then leo was like i like i'm gonna make like looks at edie and he's like you have to check my dick for stds get on your knees so she does um yes she edie is inspecting leo's dick for stds he has his dick pierced so

this doesn't sound like a medical evaluation mean the college student who just [ __ ] blocked him it doesn't seem like a medical evaluation when she's on her knees just staring at his dick piercing no it does not well and then he's like have you ever seen a guy with a or have you ever been with a guy with a pierced dick before and she's like no and he's like you probably never will because i doubt you could satisfy my appetite then he just puts his dick away and leaves the room

okay so he does have some impulse control i also want you guys to know since you aren't here and can't see this happening um my husband as we've mentioned previously produces the podcast and he's currently sitting at the end of the table just looking at me like chelsea what the [ __ ] is this like any reaction hannah's having my husband is having the same one silently five feet away from her like we are both just continuously covering our faces and silently

like laughing but it's not a laugh it's like a it's a cry for help [Laughter] back to edie okay back to 80 it's the next morning the whole crew is having a little pow wow in the kitchen i'm just powering through this i don't know what else to do like both hannah and my husband are in tears right now so we're having a kitchen powwow we're having a kitchen powwow i'm tracking i'm with you and they're discussing security for the dorm and barclay's like oh yeah i hired

a security team to come in make sure like nothing can happen to edie again and then leo's like you think i leave my dorm unprotected there's cameras everywhere and he's like check out what my cameras picked up in our foyer last night um so then edie's like oh [ __ ] no i can't let them see so when leo grabs his phone to show the video of edie doing her um layman's std check edie just takes his phone and like throws it into another version i don't know what you're talking about

um and then like leah's like if my phone is broken i'm going to be super pissed at you so as they are then walking to class ali and edie are walking together the dudes have all decided like at no point will edie be left alone oh my god is it a buddy system buddy system we love a good buddy system so we love a good buddy system as they are walking the class they pass anne marie she's another pledge um and she's just a [ __ ] um always has been a [ __ ] and she's

like oh look i heard my guys found me faster than yours i guess they're so much better at taking care of me than yours are and it's just like kind of basking in the attention of the dudes that are around here and they're like all right [ __ ] we don't care but eating notices like ollie is being weird so then ollie like pulls her into the stairwell and is like pushes her against the wall and is like grinding up on her and he's like you like bad boys don't you

and then edie's like oh [ __ ] he saw more of the footage than i realized and then i can't even do it i'm afraid no say it honestly it's not even bad it's just all as everything is um i believe our air just kicked on and now my dog brandon is pissed about whatever is about to happen that is what's happening and or he's really excited brandon is really he just wants to be invited to the party man he just wants to be near you he's invited to every party he's precious right um

but i wouldn't say either of my pets are known for their great boundaries yeah and i will also say that's not on them at all i have not made them have great boundaries so i can't be upset with the lack of them well no and earlier today craig tried to get up on my shoulder and was all up on me craig is a cat i just figured important clarification if y'all haven't listened that is also not my husband my husband's name is vance my dog is brandon and my cat is craig

craig was all up on me trying to get on my shoulder and it was one of the best moments that i've had in a long time and so the lack of boundaries sometimes is not bad yeah craig fancies himself a pirate's life he wants to be the little parrot just perching on your shoulder and he can be [ __ ] best he can be um yes so he's not in this scene though in this scene oliver has like pushed e against the wall he's like you like bad boys don't you and she realized like she's like oh

he saw the footage he's trying to like assert his dominance and like and oliver's kind of like he's a taker but i'm a giver um i know how much you like [ __ ] play which i'm also like i don't think i've ever heard the term clip play before because i just thought that's just what normal yeah you know like i was like yeah like to me i'm like that's not being like oh i know how much you like blood play or breath play right or anything like that i'm like clip play just

for anyone who has a [ __ ] i feel like they're into clip play i haven't met anyone with the [ __ ] who's not into clip play i just think yeah i'm like cool you like having someone's hand down your pants but i i don't think i've ever been like hey honey i really need more clip play because that's just not things people say unless you are disgraced british royalty in this book or really bad at it i was giving people more credit oh that makes me sad um yeah so he like i

know how much you love clip play and then like ollie like brings edie to orgasm in the stairwell well good for him i guess right and then he's like the next time you want to feel good like come to me instead and then he's kind of like are you mad about the video and he's like i'm not mad i just want you to see what's right in front of you like it's always been you so like he's getting more assertive and like actually telling her how he feels [Music] honestly probably just because there's

other people that he now views as a threat that he didn't before right so there's a sense of urgency around yes right um so now it's time for the next trial oh no we are still in ed's perspective still in edi's point of view when they get to the knights building keegan is standing out from and keegan sees who edi's partnered with and he's like what the [ __ ] get as far away as you can from leo you can't trust him like if they partnered you with him they want you to fail

um like you need to protect yourself don't trust anyone so keegan is like saying all this to edie and then leo's like shut the [ __ ] up and just like beats keegan up which seems to be you know essentially his mo um they then blindfold edie to lead like edie and oliver like take them to the next trial and they all get on a bus okay to be driven to where this trial is happening so like all of the the people who are in the trials are on the bus and they're teammates okay yes so like well

like barclay's a full-fledged knight he's because he's on edie's team he's on the bus as well gotcha and so she's being led onto the bus and things like oh it's barclay because he's like nicer and quieter and like i can't really hear anything and then realize it's like it's actually leo who is leading her onto the bus um but i will say like on the bus leah's like surprisingly helpful and like kind and they're kind of like talking and they talk about keegan and kind of how um so

d and keegan had been one of those like high society our children will marry each other for the advancement of our family names kind of thing and so for the longest time like they really hadn't been in love with each other but like well dee was always in love with keegan but keegan was like i'm just here for the family line [ __ ] i don't really care so kind of like talking about some of that stuff um so is there a chance that keegan becomes the fourth if it does that'll be in a future book

okay so it's not in this one okay um because that would be weird well i also felt that more reading this book i was like oh keegan might be a fourth in the future but the prequel is d's story okay so the prequel ends which is not a plot twist because we already know what happens the prequel ends with how d dies okay so we already know that full journey in hush hush now mind you i didn't read the prequel until after i read this one so for me it was kind of filling in more

context but i thought the exact same i was like oh like is keegan gonna be the fourth and then reading the book i was like oh no like keegan and dee's relationship does develop more in the prequel to the point where like at the beginning kind of like enemies to lovers a little bit of a bully romance okay um and then at the end he was in love with her when she died okay which we will also get to in the future but it's not like a really big spoiler um yeah like at one point like in this

conversation between leo and edie she's like maybe you and keegan are a lot alike and he's like because i think everyone should get on their knees for me like some like just this like brash unnecessary um he leo then drops his sweatshirt in edie's lap now mind you once again they are on a bus she has a blindfold on so this entire conversation they've been having she has not been able to see him and leo drops his sweatshirt in her lap and then he's like this way people can't

see you when i check how wet you are so he starts fingering her she starts getting super into it so to be clear people still know like i feel like i feel like it's not that secretive at some point every high schooler or college student has tried this with a blanket or potentially a sweatshirt the number of times when i used to work in youth ministry that i'd be on a bus at 2 a.m and i'd have to shout hand check exactly it's a thing it's not subtle it's not we know what you're doing but i

also think like so any girl because there are no female knights d had been the first female pledge ever for the knights okay so all of the females are blindfolded all of the dudes like seem to have loose moral concern like right i don't think any dude would bat an eye at them fingering her on this bus well still i mean everybody knows what you're doing like he says nobody's gonna see everybody's gonna know well to be fair he said so people can't see while i check how wet you are not

that they don't know that i'm checking how wet you are so we might be arguing semantics i was gonna say that really does feel like semantics but okay carry on anyway yeah so this is gonna continue so i don't think we should get caught up at this at this juncture into it regardless yeah so like she starts to get aroused and then like starts pinching her own nipple like tries to like cover like spread the sweatshirt to cover her own nipples as well while she pinches them and then as she's like

pinching her nipples and like getting super close the bus stops and so then leo's like everyone get the [ __ ] off the bus and so it's just their team on the bus and barclay's like what do we have here and leo's like a soaking wet female and then oliver is like my girl loves someone to go down on her when she's this worked up um so then they're like okay leave the blindfold on we won't tell you which guy's gonna go down on you so all three dudes are standing there on the bus

while one of them eats her out on the bus bench but we don't know who's eating her out okay but they tell her to moan all of their names just to cover their bases okay at this point i feel like you're done with the questioning you're just like okay what next okay that too okay and now i mean i just i i okay [Laughter] so do we ever find out yeah we do find out okay yes carry on then honestly we find out in like the next chapter i was gonna say i feel like it's probably pretty yeah she doesn't

find out for a chapter two it was barclay who ate her out okay way to go professor exactly um while leo stood there and watched and i guess technically oliver stood there and watched as well but he was also blindfolded so he just heard it yeah oh well um back to leo so they they lead edie and oliver down to where this trial is happening the trial is at a river which is the river de den so they're kind of like is everything that we're doing just like [ __ ] like we

like kidnapped we've like taken like the place where like d died like are they trying to [ __ ] with edie like leo's actually kind of starting to like ask questions and realize like maybe things are a little off um so their challenge is that all of the pledges have to go back between treading water in this like ice cold river and standing on burning hot coals until they're told otherwise okay yes naked sure they do get to take the blindfolds off oh well okay then you know to keep

it fair hannah they did allow them the power of sight again when they're all naked yes and so they're like all right like edie just kind of was like this is what i need to do just gets quiet like kind of like gets her head in the game is like [ __ ] this like i need to find out what happened to my sister i just need to like do this so i just want to point out okay i feel like the women have an advantage here with the cold water that the men pledges do not i don't think any of that matters right

now um so it is about so they're all naked because we're about to go on a side journey like it's about to get like real [ __ ] up we're like they're going back and forth they're clearly struggling they're going from this like ice cold river to standing on these coals and then they hop in the water and then suddenly like some blonde hair starts to float closer to edie and she's like what the [ __ ] and she like like it touches her and it turns over and it was a model head doll with

blonde hair that someone had written delilah aster across the floor yes so then like edie very justifiably like starts screaming and losing her [ __ ] yeah and that's where that scene ends okay and that's all from leo's perspective yes okay yes okay um and now we're actually switching to barclays perspective okay yes so they're now back on the bus um edie and oliver sitting next together next to each other together um barclay and leo are sitting next to each other

on the bus and like kind of debriefing what just happened and they're like edie's clearly like it was like the river d died in like the model head like what the [ __ ] is happening this is like not casual and this is all very intentional so they all go back to the dorm and kind of start bonding and drinking together and like barclay like cleans and bandages like both edie and ollie's feet for them but then they start talking about anne-marie the [ __ ] from earlier she was also part of this

and when edie started screaming when she saw the doll head and marie started laughing and so then everyone was like she knew like either she knew or but either like no matter if she knew or not they're like it wasn't funny this [ __ ] needs to go we're gonna destroy her life so then their whole team decides that they're going to like get this revenge plot together to destroy anne-marie's life which kind of brings them you know they bond over it and then leo announces like

edie's gonna sleep in his room and she's like because like we all agreed she like would one of us would be with her 24 7 so she's gonna sleep in my room and she's like okay that sounds good and then ollie's pissed and like storms off to his own room so back to edie now also pause going back because i know we were about to go on a tangent before then i was like no no no there's about to be a doll head that's going to [ __ ] everything up i don't think women having an advantage in

the cold water over men i mean i just mean you know what i meant what did you mean hannah i meant nipples and penises is what i meant but what's the advantage when it comes to treading water i mean physically there isn't one but if we're naked looking at each other women have an advantage i don't know i think when you're jumping and 40 degree water and standing on burning coals i mean i'm sure you don't care while that's happening but the people who are watching because clearly there are

people watching but i think it was just like not bowing out so i don't think there was any advantage i mean i don't me again i don't mean physically i mean visually for the individuals watching i don't okay i mean listen we've already gone on such a journey there's more of a journey to be had okay so do you not want to go on the rest of this journey i'm in it now do you want me to stop the review you know you told me to buckle in and i'm fully buckled i know i felt like you didn't

believe me at first i'm fully and then we took the first few sharp turns and you were like [ __ ] i better buckle in now because i didn't before all right back to eating i just tightened the belt is what happened carry on back to edie she's in leo's room and leo's actually i'm gonna grab a blanket and go sleep on the couch in my room and she's like what okay um so she's laying in his bed he's laying on the couch and then she starts to hear him watching porn and like stroking himself

and then he starts narrating the porn to edie and so like telling her like oh like this is what they're doing like she starts to get pretty worked up and then she realizes that she recognizes the like the description and it's a recording of her on the bus [Laughter] and she's like wait so then it wasn't you who was going down on me if you were recording and he's like maybe it was me licking you and someone else was was recording and already texted out like who can say

and so then edie tries to get out of bed to go see the video and leo's like if you come over here i'm gonna delete this so like don't ruin my moment and edie's like you mean my moment and leo's like i'll give you a moment to remember um what a threat oh actually that may have been edie saying that i don't know they get naked she starts touching herself leo rips off her panties so he can watch her touch herself they maintain eye contact well they both masturbate um

leo comes all over her boobs okay and then i mean considering all the other things that have happened that feels pretty tame at this point and then he's like you should always be wearing my [ __ ] and she's like like a mark and he's like like i own you so okay just something about the way you dropped your voice to deliver that really how would you have preferred me deliver that line i don't know i'm not i'm just pointing it out that it was a thing that happened it was i also don't

think that's the first time nor will it be the last time i dropped my voice for a dramatic part of a reading no and i know that i have done the same but something about that particular moment just stuck with me so anyway well also the o words are always weird like own obedience like you will obey me and you're like will i like i don't think i will 10 bucks says i won't [ __ ] like really i don't think that's gonna happen right i was on board until you used that

o word and now i don't care if i come but i'm gonna make sure you don't so i'm vindictive with it as well all right so it's the next morning switch to oliver they decide to set the anne-marie plan of motion they know anne-marie's dad has been having an affair with her secretary so they essentially schedule this meeting and they plan on like going and um accidentally walking into her dad's office over his lunch break when it's everyone knows he's [ __ ] his secretary so

um like edie gets dressed in some of delilah's clothes and like finds one of her like more like business appropriate dresses and when she does the note falls out like a love note falls out of all of delilah's belongings that says can't wait for your big day i've memorized your body so then well okay yeah so then edie's like what who sent this do we know anything about this no like this makes me feel weird like i need to go through the rest of her stuff at some point to

see if i can figure all of this out um what happens next honestly there's so much happening um there's like a like all of them i don't remember all of them honestly here's what i wrote has a slight clearing of the air after last night edie says i don't know what this is between us yet with leo i know where i stand oh she's talking to oliver at this point like oliver because he had been pissed that's what it was there's so much that happened i was like i can't even keep track of my notes

yes because because leo had announced that like she was staying in his room and oliver got pissed right like clearly then she's like listen like i think for edie it's that leo feels easier than like [ __ ] up a lifelong friendship with oliver so it's like i don't want this to go sideways and i don't know what this is with you yet but with leo i know where i stand so it seems like she's not she doesn't even really like leo she's like attracted to him and can

tolerate him but she's she doesn't have like a an attachment to him at this point i think it's forming with all of them but it was just already the most pronounced with oliver because they had all of the history um because then oliver also kind of notes that like both barclay and leo have been like more into edie and more intentional and he's like oh [ __ ] like i may actually need to like fight for her if this is what i want um or they'll ruin my chances so yeah i can't remember if i said that

we'd switch to oliver i don't know we're back to edie now they're together doesn't matter um so edie and oliver go to emery's dad's office they have the camera in hand they plan to start recording since he normally bones his secretary at lunch when they accidentally like so like when they get there um anne-marie's dad's office door is already cracked and it's not closed and like what is this about and then when they look in they find anne-marie boning franklin jarvis grandpa jarvis leo's

grandpa anne-marie is boning leo's grandpa in her father's office and then in the corner her father's just standing there watching the look on your face says you hate everything about this [Music] okay yeah so they're like yep this is not what we said they're like we're out of here this is not what i signed up for i just thought i was gonna ruin her life by releasing video footage of her dad boning his secretary i didn't think i'd watch her bone leo's grandpa while her dad

stood in the corner and watched although i feel like that would equally ruin her life i agree yeah i'm like that's not better i mean like the grandpa boning i feel like could go one way or another really but the dad in the room it just puts it like on another level like we're done here well so then they like take off and escape through the elevators but they're like they gasped when they saw it and like there was like the sound that was heard so as they got off the elevators a random

dude walks up and is like were you just up on that floor like no what are you talking about the dude who's questioning them is vincent jarvis leo's douchey cousin um and he kind of cuts off the office or like their exit and is like asking like were you just up at like kennedy's office and they're like no who's kennedy yeah so then leo intercedes and is like oh no they're with me and so they all just like are able to leave and they make it to the car and then um

barclay sitting in the back with edie and then edie is like we all need to talk but like he's like or she wants to like tell them what's happening but she's also like well barclay's a knight and leo's a fledgling so like can i like can i trust them yeah can we trust them with this because this isn't like typical stuff then it's not typical it's not typical to walk into a room and find a a schoolmate [ __ ] your other schoolmate's grandpa while her dad watches that is not typical you're

correct i would also like to note i don't think it makes it better but i don't think leah was a schoolmate anymore i think he graduated it doesn't make it better yeah so he's just there you're like chelsea that makes it worse [ __ ] you um yeah cause he's just hanging around in the dorm whipping his dick out his name's on the hall it's jarvis hall he's leo jarvis like oh well then it's kosher i know maybe i didn't clarify that enough before to say that makes it

okay to do things like pee on people happy passover everybody i hope this episode drops nowhere near april and everyone has no idea what the [ __ ] you were referring to i'm like okay i'm so sorry anyway so they don't know if they can trust them and then edie's like take us to some place the nights would never go so that we can like maybe have a conversation about this so leo takes them to a go-kart place naturally right and he's like you know where the knights are too highbrow for

go-karts and they have great food there so that's where he takes them good for leo um yes but then like edie's super hesitant to tell the guys anything because she's like i don't know if we can trust them so then barclay's like a secret for a secret and has leo record him taking a video saying like i went down on a student and that he lied to the knights about why he wanted to return to carnegie university so we start to like learn like barclay has some layers underneath and like there's

some things but like we don't necessarily we don't know any of that backstory um so then edie and ollie tell them what they saw i.e anne-marie [ __ ] grandpa jarvis i just listen listen we we fully support age gap like i want to be clear like we're not here to king shame anybody no but i'm not king shaming the age gap i'm we're consuming grandpa jarvis yeah who is gross the power yes what yes we are ashamed to point that out yes we're cool like you do your thing man but

yeah with a power dynamic like that we won't get into a consent conversation but i don't feel like well i think at least once an episode we say consent is very important consent matters um so yes eating ollie tell them what they saw and then leo is like i bet that was an alliance move for cousin vincent and that anne-marie is going to be marrying into the family because grandpa [ __ ] every girl who marries into the family to show he's still the head of it and then um is that like a prima nocta

situation i don't know what that means oh my god have you never watched the movie brave or not brave yes braveheart brave and braveheart are gonna be real different different and spray part was the one i was thinking of um i'm not gonna lie i probably haven't seen braveheart in 20 years okay so in braveheart kind of the whole point behind it is that the king has the power to deflower any woman on her wedding night as claiming rights of primo primonocta or whatever and so

in braveheart the one guy is like um the king is not going to rape my wife so they get married in secret and then people find out and his wife dies and then he goes around killing people but the point is that's what this sounds like it's like a prima noctis situation like if you're gonna marry into the family you have to [ __ ] the king yeah and then her dad had to stand on the corner and make sure there was quality control i was gonna ignore that how are you going to ignore her father

doing quality control by not mentioning it it doesn't change it that's just called avoidance hannah i am very deep in experiential avoidance of her father watching her [ __ ] a man that i imagine was what like 50 years older than her at least yeah well and then edie's like i'm afraid that'll be me next and leo's like i won't let that happen um yeah so then they all get back to the dorm room there's a high-ranking member of the knights there his name is jack green

um and he tells them that they're in fourth as far as all of like the pledge rankings um but then it also says for passing the second challenge edie and ollie get a reward and the knights reward with your greatest sexual fantasy of course and then edie realizes like she is oliver's greatest sexual fantasy which is sweet right um but then he's like get up to my room and don't say another word like we're doing this [ __ ] because i feel like he's just been waiting for

his chance and he's like i'm [ __ ] taking this chance i'm gonna make her mine this shit's on lock now exactly so he orders her to his room he's like definitely way more demanding than usual and like edie starts to realize like oh he is really giving during sex like i'm like what did you think what's happening this you mean the man playing london bridge with your [ __ ] and then he went to masturbate in your bathroom because he didn't want to inconvenience his

depression he's not a generous lover he's not a generous lover she thinks he is a generous lover well now she knows well i think he was a generous lover then as well was he she didn't think so i don't think i don't think she ever thought of it like it was just like oh okay like she would she'd he'd give her a [ __ ] that's not i know i've said that before and you were like chelsea can women get [ __ ] and i'm like i guess if he blows on it you can um so she oh my god

i just i don't think i've ever said it but i think it bears saying now that i love that we're doing this i love it so much even if nobody ever hears any of this [ __ ] i [ __ ] love that we are taking the time to do this right oh me too yeah so all right here's the thing i think edie realized oliver was just like always offering to go down on her and then when she'd like oh like she'd orgasm like do you want do you want it hurting like no thanks i'm good she was just like trying to

not ask anything of her so i think she like actually did start to realize like oh he's a really generous lover and maybe i've been a little bit selfish um my notes they have passionate wild sex there's a lot of stuff that happens i don't really know um but then she realizes that like the door is open and that leo and barclay can like hear everything that's happening nice i'm sure ollie did that on purpose oh one thousand 000 um and then afterwards ollie's like

like he's still inside her and he's like i'm i'm never leaving because like i'm afraid i'll never have you again like you can't just stay inside of her indefinitely like that's not that's unhealthy physically and emotionally on a lot of levels um so then edie kisses him and is like oh maybe like our relationship is shifting okay yeah i think she's coming to terms with like her best friend has real feelings for her and she's like do i want to destroy my relationship with my best friend for

the sake of like potentially moving into a romantic relationship but i already lost my sister and like so many layers yeah like i think she's she's trying to process it so we're back to leo now okay we are now a week in the future things have been calm so hold up hold up hold up so that was leo's sexual fantasy did or i mean ollie's sexual fantasy did we'll get there okay yeah well i was like hold up are we leaving out edie because my girl deserves satisfaction i mean i think she

got satisfaction within during her experience it wasn't her yes fantasy she will get more satisfaction before the book ends um but you are correct we have not gotten to her greatest sexual fantasy yet okay i wonder what it could be well so does funny because they're a week in the future and like edie is avoiding all of them and it's just like i'm keeping my head down this has been getting wild um and leo and barclay are like talking in the kitchen about edie's greatest sexual

fantasy being all three of them nice and um they're like even the prince said that like the fantasy is all three of us so edie overhears and she's like i love that you guys are talking about my greatest sexual fantasy before i've even had coffee in the morning um and she's like that's not what i want and so then like leo and barclay kind of like my notes say make her a sex sandwich trying to get her to admit it um so like leo starts like pushing in behind her and barclay pushes it on her

front and then like leo spreads her ass cheeks to make a nook for himself and then they're like what's your greatest fantasy um yeah so like that happens and then they like mention oliver and like the three of them and she's like well oliver left last night like wait what she's like yeah like he said he needed some space and he left last night so like it like completely destroys the mood kills the vibe she goes to her room and then leo was like oh i'm going to go

talk to edie and then when he gets outside her door he hears her like leaving a voicemail for oliver being like hey oliver like call me i want to talk and so then leo's like you need to figure out what the hell you want girl like you need to figure it out which i respect yeah so switch to barclay again and he's walking to class and suddenly he hears like edie shouting behind him and she's like did leo not mention that like you're supposed to be walking me to

class so i'm not alone he's like [ __ ] no he didn't i'm sorry so they're walking um and like he asks edie if like her parents are happy that she's at carnegie university and she's like they're not but i had to step up like d was all dad had and he's like no like i'm sure you wouldn't think that and like she cuts them off and just like you don't know anything like don't like don't count me yeah like don't tell me about my family dynamics and barclay's like well you're not the only

one who's been through [ __ ] like you're like starting to get in this fight about like clearly there's underlying stuff there and then a random female student is like ulrich or whatever his name is because we don't know how to pronounce it um and so he's like oh [ __ ] this girl's a crush on me she can't take a hint so he like goes to turn to edie to be like don't leave me alone with her but edie's already bounced and this girl is like oh like i can't wait for everything you're gonna teach

us in class today wink wink yeah and he's like my name's professor barclay to you is like really trying to set this boundary with her and she can't take a hint so he goes and gets to his classroom but then he's like where did edie go we're supposed to be keeping eyes on her i can't ensure that she's safe so he sits down at his desk and he's like i'll pull up her schedule on like the admin portal for the college that he's access to as a professor so he sits down at his desk to do so

edie is under his desk of course she is fondling his [ __ ] of course she is the look on my husband's face he's both laughing and nodding along which is my favorite part yeah so she's fondling his [ __ ] under the desk and like they're like trying to stay quiet so then barclay's like pop quiz everybody um yeah he does have a pop quiz well he sure does and he's like hope you just did your reading last night because y'all are teaching the class today so the first

like super brown-noser in the class he calls up and they like start lecturing and teaching and then barclay's like no you guys try again go home and read the book we're ending class early you're all terrible yes um so my exact notes say decided in class finish blow job doesn't lock door strips edie on his desk she gets head too good for her right but then when they go to leave leo is outside of like the classroom door and he is pissed and he's like oh you'll [ __ ] everyone but me to edie

and edie's like just because i'm attracted to you doesn't give you the right to talk to me like that like damn straight no sir and leo gets super pissed and like storms off um and then why what happens i don't know chelsea neither do i you [ __ ] figure it out dude i'm all the way in now i don't know edie and barclay talk after they both performed fellatio on each other it's it's not it's not never mind it's not everybody it's not hannah i'm a couple of glasses of wine at this point we're

trying the best we can today well i'm not here to complete education about the difference between fellatio and canelo i know i said so i said they both got fellatio and i was like that's not the word and hopefully we can move past this but we can't we know i said the wrong word they both get head okay they sure both of them receive oral is there yeah and then they discuss it later yes and they kind of like they talk a little bit about d they talk about the

nights a little bit and like barclay has one of those moments where he's like okay it's like what what is everyone's motivator here in being a part of this group also everyone i apologize that i like said they both got fellatio that's not true as i said it i was like this is wrong and i hope we can avoid it and then we did it and now i'm just really fixated on it um back to edie so that's where we're at in life back to you edie back to edie so all of our text edie and address to meet

him at and oliver had rented a house not far from campus because he was like i'm not gonna slum it in the dorms any longer than i need so i'm gonna rent this place off campus and then convince edie to move into it with me so that way we can like not live in dorms that was his initial motivation i that did happen earlier on in the book i think it actually he rented it before they even got there whatever she goes to the house to talk to oliver about everything when she gets there

oliver has kidnapped keegan of course he has yes um he's a crazy stalker yeah he just wants you to have everything she wants in life is something wrong with that hannah yes [Laughter] people should not have everything that they want they shouldn't but sometimes you just might find what you need i'm so sorry i do feel like we're both multiple glasses of wine in and in my mind that was a an excellent harmony you're like we're gonna kill this we are gonna sing our asses off here and

when i listen to that on the playback i will probably change my mind at least you didn't say fellatio so we are doing great today um yes oliver has kidnapped keegan they started interrogating him we find out keegan really did love delilah i know i kind of gave that spoiler earlier um he did love delilah and he keeps warning edie to leave and he's like you aren't safe you need to leave talk to your dad you need to leave and then tells edie that dee had a stalker and this not oliver

had a stalker who was the one who sent her that card that was like i've memorized your body um and the card that said i memorize your body was delivered with flowers that were wrapped in um not just like normal cellophane or something that flowers normally come in it was wrapped in a gossip magazine that pictured that like featured pictures of dee in a bikini from a family vacation yes oh um also then suddenly keegan passes out i still really have no idea what the [ __ ]

happens here he was just like i'm done here it's like yeah he got himself really worked up and just like passed out and so then oliver's like okay royal servants come take him away and there's the servants just have a fleet of [ __ ] mini coopers to do oliver's bidding mini coopers well they're british yeah and then so we couldn't do a like a a land rover or an aston martin it's a mini cooper because we're british well the fleet of servant cars are mini coopers why would all of the servants

have aston martins hannah okay this is the biggest plot hole in the whole book the mini cooper it is what i'm stuck on anyway so then while they're there ollie does tell like when edie's like what is this place ollie's like i rented the house for us um and then ollie and edie kind of start processing like who could the stalker be then like they're like could it be barclay could it be leo like so i'm like [ __ ] we really can't trust them um we are now back to leo and the

team has been called to like the knights building um or the night's house for another trial when they get to the door there's like a fledgling outside who's like no pledge is only only edie and oliver are allowed to go inside for this one like barclay and leo have to stay out and leo right well and leo and barclay are like nope you guys said we had to stay with her and this is our church and that's what we're [ __ ] doing so kick us out of the room if you need but we are going in there with her

so they all go in and leo's cousin vincent is in the room and this trial is the favor trial um where you have to complete a favor for someone with no questions asked and edie and oliver are told that they have to get the paternity test for this random woman um within 24 hours just edie and oliver the others can't help um barclay gets super mad and loses his [ __ ] like punches a wall like no one really understands why okay we haven't we don't know those details and then they're like all right

let's go let's all go back to the door and like plan together and then they're like well we we have to do it alone and they're like we can all plan together you just have to implement it alone so switch to oliver they're putting the plan into motion at this point the plan is to go to the ob gyn's office and evie is going to pretend to have accidentally left a tampon in for over a week and having toxic toxic shock syndrome this is their plan that she was outside crying in pain oliver

was just passing as a good samaritan brings her into this clinic asking them for help so then while the nurses are helping edie oliver's like because people like he's well he's not in line for the throne he's recognizable enough that like people know him as royalty okay and so he's like oh like can is there someplace i can like hide so like paparazzi won't see that i brought a woman in because like that would not go well for me like oh my gosh of course they like let him hide in the records room

natural naturally so he like takes a picture of the file um they are figu they like have obviously been successful and then she's like they just like kind of run out it's a very unresolved situation and then as they're driving back they're holding hands and edie's just like everything's just like been so wild and like i just want to like feel like myself so they [ __ ] in the driver's seat in the driver's seat yeah they [ __ ] in the driver's seat that's exactly what my note said

okay yeah while the car is in motion or are they apart no they pull over hannah they're safe drivers yeah and i don't think this was a mini cooper i think that's only for the servants there was more leg room in the actual vehicle well that's good yes my glasses were starting to hurt my face so i took them off but i can't really see without them so i just now i'm questioning my life choices but i already took them all do you want me to read you your notes no i don't that'll be like

when you were like i'm gonna say the word wolf for you because you can't pronounce it and that didn't get us very far so this is just where we're at in life um but then like while they're boning like i guess before oliver sexual fantasy and sense of sexual fantasy they've never kissed they've only ever kissed during that like sex scene where it was his sexual fantasy okay so then like she's kind of like kissing up his neck and his body and like oliver's really creating this narrative

in his head that like if she kisses me on the mouth that means like our relationship is progressing um okay yeah he's like we're turning a corner in our relationship if we kiss on the mouth i mean does she yeah they do kiss on the mouth but that also like wasn't a conversation they were having during sex that was just like in his head he's like this will be the difference this is the moment yes so they meet we're oh sorry switch back to edie now perspective they go um to meet up with

vincent they give him the paternity test and then he like sees the results and he's like you guys did really well i'll let the elders know that you did really well and then like looks at vincent looks at leo and says you need to check in with gramps and he's kind of like what does he need he's not going to grandpa about cause i thought he didn't like his grandpa what's going on and like kind of gets a little suspicious um and so she asks leo about it and is like

what's that about and leah's like bold to ask when you have your own secrets i saw a mini cooper dropping off a very stunned keegan back to his dorm so like don't come at me asking for secrets when you clearly have your own then eg's like well i have unfinished business with keegan then leo and barclay are both like well like what because they're like jealous [ __ ] even though like nothing is really defined everyone's just like having that like slightly possessive thing they're

like like what like i thought like you guys hated each other and then edi's like no it actually turns like my sister's relationship with him had changed and like there's more to the story and i have more details i want to get from him and like then leo pushes back and it's like i don't believe it and then edie's like you wouldn't understand and leo just like gets quiet and walks off like doesn't say a [ __ ] word just like leaves like there's like building argument

where she's like you wouldn't understand i lost my sister [ __ ] you and he just like gets quiet and leaves and you're like oh are you okay liam i don't think so i don't think he is because barclay then tells edie that leo was the one who found his dad so like it's kind of like a if anyone gets it it probably is leo yeah so edie feels super shitty goes to her room tells him not to follow she just wants some time for herself she goes through all of these boxes and then it's like

i i need to talk to my dad about all this i need answers he hasn't taken my phone calls he hasn't been taking my text like i need to know what happens so she decides she's going to go confront her dad and then takes off without telling anyone of course she does so yeah leo's gone and then because she wanted to be alone both barclay and oliver like went to bed and so she just kind of like sneaks out turns off the alarm turns it back on when she's gone and then goes to her dad's house or her

parents house rather and but like on the way there she's like kind of like thinking through the suspects and like who could have done and who could have called her sister and like her parents have not been questioning the same people or any people and they've just been sad and so then like on this drive edie's like maybe my dad doesn't suspect anyone because it actually was an accident like girl you made it this far in to just suddenly ask yourself this question now that's my thought at least

um but then like she's kind of out of it because she's kind of processing through this so then like a car honks behind her and they flash their lights and she's like oh i was

only going like 30 and a 50. so she speeds up like they stay right on her ass and she's like [ __ ] i'm being followed so like she swerves and turns off and manages to lose them like we're never actually sure if she was being followed okay um she gets to her parents house it's very late she confronts her dad and is like dad like why have you been avoiding my text and like tells them like i want to talk to you about d i want to talk about the knights i want to talk about the stalker like

i heard dee was fighting on the deck with someone the night she died like do you even know who that was and her dad's like not giving her any answers then suddenly the door behind edie like opens and closes and her dad like sees it happen then like grabs her wrist from across the table it's like be strong i can't help you and oh dear yes so a cloaked elder so she can't see who it is but a cloaked knight greets edie's dad but she like recognizes it like can't quite place the

voice like it sounds kind of familiar and then the voice is like eden aster do you accept the will of the knights um and then like her dad begs like don't hurt her and then they put a bag over her head again but this time like her eyes get really heavy and she passes out and she goes to sleep drugged in some way yep then we have got to be close to the point we are very close to the end oh my god um she wakes up swinging upside down over a body of water we've done that before remember

roxy never mind from ten of vipers she also woke up swinging upside down from a meat hook anyway this one wasn't a meat hook this one was a boat hook oh okay yes um and there's a ton of robed knights under where she is hanging and she sees leo is there as well uh-oh um and then she realizes they're on a dock and that it's like a rope and pulley to bring boats out of the water that she's hanging upside down over okay um but she's also like she can tell just from the way her

body's feeling knowing how cold the water is she's like if i hit the water i'm gonna like go into shock and like i won't be able to swim and so she starts having a panic attack and someone's like what the [ __ ] is happening to her and like panic attack right like yeah so she's just like hanging upside down from a boat hook having a panic attack that's not ideal no then another voice is like bring them out and they've got ollie as well oh no right sweet ollie um sweet stalker ollie

sweet stock ally then he sees her hanging and is like super pissed and is like screaming like get her the [ __ ] down and they do not care another voice unmoved they are very unmoved another voice is in like she looks so much like her sister ass and all so like everyone's just kind of like objectifying her as she's hanging there she cries for help she's like leo help me leo help me leo doesn't answer leo doesn't respond and everyone's like oh did she think he was on her side like

does she not know he's on our side and all of this and so then she's like well i guess i have to defend my spin for myself and i can't trust anyone so she just like shuts down gets quiet it's like i'm gonna hang here just kind of goes into like survival mode and then they even say they're like you've been hanging here for hours and the water below you is so cold like you'll seize and you'll die just like your sister did nice and then someone else says um she got it easier than her sister but

i have to admit they both make pretty little dead girls lovely and then the rope drops her in and she's like feels her body season she's like nothing i can do about it night's won at least i'll get to cd again soon end of book okay [Laughter] i mean when does the next one come out i think like june uh yeah i really because here's the thing i think when i read this one i was like oh barclay's gonna like something's gonna happen at the start of the next book the story is gonna continue because i

definitely felt like it was being set up but it was kind it did throw me off and it was kind of disconcerting when i read hush hush as the prequel after i read this one knowing d dies right and so like the endings felt almost identical where like i mean obviously the situations that led them there were very different but the ending of like i'm gone i'm gone i'm nothing or something like that it's like how hush-hush ends so i was like and the series is like the pretty little dead

girl series so i'm like oh is she going to make it or are they just going to kill every girl they're like no that doesn't make great books no one wants to read when the love interest dies every book right well and i wonder too if maybe maybe the opening of the next book is like i don't know something like saving her is leo's thing to become a whole night or something like maybe maybe something is gonna happen well i doubt leo saving her would help him become a full knight because the

knights did kill her sister right but like well maybe that's the whole thing they don't really want him to become a knight so yeah like this is your this is your task is to save this girl that's definitely dead right and like because leo and ollie are both there we don't know if barclay was there and like that final scene he's not mentioned in that capacity so like he could have been a hooded person who didn't do anything but like there is a chance all three of them are there

like i wouldn't be surprised if it's like a all three of them are there and then they all like they all end up banding together to disassemble the knights or some [ __ ] like that right um but i am really curious i don't know where it's gonna go because she's definitely not afraid to go there you know what i mean right right well i guess we're gonna find out in june hopefully yeah and um i am also curious what happens with keegan because it doesn't feel like his character is done yet yeah

but i still don't understand why he randomly passed out he just like got emotionally worked up and passed out so here's the question that that i have that is burning okay what how many mini coopers do you rate this book um so i'm gonna have to clarify that question because there's a wide variety of mini coopers there's the like oh gee all right so fun fact do you remember the movie the italian job yeah so the italian job be like oh gee mini cooper don't look at my husband

like this what the [ __ ] i'm sorry i just it was like a commiserating is she really going on this tangent that is the look y'all just gave me i needed to share the moment with someone okay so fun fact jesus christ the original mini cooper that charlie sarah drives at the beginning of italian job they had to specially like outfit for her because it's not made for like normal sized people so like trying so hard not to look at vans you're allowed to look at vans it was

just a commiserating look where i'm like okay it would have been commiserating you're such an [ __ ] i love you but you're such an [ __ ] um but no like there's like the newer mini coopers there's there's the four-door series so i have questions okay you know which mini okay we're gonna go with four-door because i feel like if we're transporting unconscious individuals then we would need a four-door yes for the sake of accessibility that is the easiest for sure yeah um

if we're going with a four-door mini cooper i'm gonna give it like three out of six mini coopers okay um because like ian moore isn't afraid to fully send it on a book but i'm also super [ __ ] intrigued like because i read the book and was like oh [ __ ] i need to know what happens and was pissed when i realized the sequel wasn't out yet and i think from that vantage point like yes it is like very over the top in a lot of ways in a lot of ways let's be completely

honest we're like what the hell is even happening here but it was intriguing enough that you wanted to keep reading it okay and that you wanted to know what happened it was intriguing enough that i finished this one and then i was like oh the only other book that she has out is the prequel done and i picked up the prequel and read it okay okay i think i can get on board with that so for that we're gonna have three out of six four-door mini coopers okay yes okay any other

questions about the book um no like i think it really is one of those weird ones where i'm like none of the dudes are great like there's not like nah i'm like okay so like leo is a brash [ __ ] who's not afraid to piss on people barclay clearly has like secrets and is older and like we don't fully know so we can't fully trust him and oliver has no boundaries and is like loki a stalker yeah but i'm like rooting for all of them but i don't like any of them okay

girl you know how this tension goes in some of these books i do yeah where you're like oh this is this is not great but i can't look away yeah well and like you know we can be rooting for them and hoping that there is some character development eventually in the series where we will like them yeah like i feel like if we can get some answers in the second book like because i don't i think like the way they were setting leo up was he was he was actually starting to like

have feelings and realize he was [ __ ] up and was like that's part of why when she when she was like you would never understand and he's gaining insight into all of this 100 and so i think with how they were kind of moving some of the character development i won't be surprised if we get more of that in a second book but i'm also not sure if it's going to be like hell is the next book going to be anne-marie and they're going to kill her as well yeah yeah because i'm like i could see it going

like female that was prominently discussed yeah right so i'm like i could see it going that way or i like i'm also like is this going to be a duet is this going to be a trilogy is this going to be a quartet honestly i don't my heart has it in it for a quartet of this um duet would be preferred i don't i feel like with a trilogy there's always one book that's not as strong yeah yeah maybe two books that aren't as strong i guess we're gonna find out yeah so stay tuned i guess future

chelsea and future hannah will review whatever the next book in the pretty little dead girls series is yeah um my future hannah's gonna need a lot of notice before the next book is reviewed yeah i'll just get another box of wine i was gonna say future hannah is gonna need to pre-game that because what the [ __ ] but i also feel like future hannah is probably going to read this book anyway yeah you're like i'm gonna talk a lot of [ __ ] but i am also gonna read this book i'm

very self-aware so yes yeah i'm gonna read this trash and i'm gonna be into it and then i'm gonna make fun of it and that's the truth and that's how we became friends and that's how we formed the smug club right so y'all let us know your thoughts let us know how many mini coopers you would rate this book four door mini coopers um if you are going to move into another mini cooper type please let us know so that way we can adjust for size accordingly that's what she said

and on that note we love you guys we hope you have a great night bye all right next week on smack club what a title for your debut i know um and i just want to preface by saying i genuinely enjoyed this book i don't know if it's actually any good but i did actually really really enjoy it it had some very funny moments i just i just want to pause you i don't know if it's any good but i did enjoy it i mean we'll get to the actual review christian eye of the beholder yeah i enjoyed it i

read this book while i was on vacation which is relevant because i don't normally drink very much um however when i was outlining this book i was mostly intoxicated so we'll see what happens well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ] we hope it was good for you because it sure was great for us if you're digging what we're doing it would mean a lot if you take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now maybe tell that sexy someone to let us in here we love you

we appreciate you and we'll see you next week stay spotty [Music] you