well hello all you beautiful people you know what time it is [Music] ladies and gents guys and dolls and everyone in between gather round get you something real nice to sip on and comfy to slip on because it's time for smut club here's your hosts chelsea and hannah [Music] hello everyone welcome to smut club where the first rule is we talk about smut i'm hannah i'm chelsea what's our second rule are there other rules i don't know no i just made that up sort of first
rule we talk about like it's like the opposite of fight club like what are our rules we talk about smud and we drink while we do it i also i think i've been watching in kanto too much recently because i'm like i'm like we don't talk about smut club we don't talk about bruno no no no no no no we don't talk about smart club fun fact i've never seen it but i have seen the memes so i know that it's bruno no no no it's a really pure movie plus i love stephanie beatrice who
like did you watch brooklyn nine-nine yes rosa voices the main character right and so like watching her on tick tock like singing and like dancing with the songs i'm like i love you more so i would like i would recommend it if you haven't watched it it's also a great therapy resource noted yes and as you are a therapist like me we're always looking for therapy resources yes everything is in relation to therapy resources you know it's not a therapy resource the book you're about to review i mean
it's probably not but reading a bunch of smut feels therapeutic on certain days so it is sort of yeah yeah well all right so the book we are reviewing today is claiming addison by zoe derrick this is the first book in the 69 bottles series if you if i was afraid the name wouldn't be on the nose and you wouldn't have any idea what was going to happen um yes so addison is our main character i'm sure we were surprised also i'm just gonna completely readily own the entire time i read this book i was
like is it claiming addison or chasing addison it's claiming addison at least once on this episode i'm probably going to call it chasing addison and i think we all understand what i meant and we don't need to correct me on this well when you told me you were reviewing claiming addison i was like haunting adeline that's different but yes that is the exact energy where like every time i name this book i'm like is this a book i've read a thousand times before or is it not um and honestly it's both
so we're starting with our review today okay so we start with addison addison is a pr rep and she's asked to go out on tour last minute for a 12-week tour with this band 69 bottles and they are like the new hot [ __ ] everyone is obsessed with them everyone knows who they are that is the worst name for a band and that's really saying something because we are about to review another book where the band is called son of jack and that's pretty rough but 69 bottles you
know the worst bad name i ever heard it was in person in my life this was not a book this actually happened irl yes um so i was driving this is when i i grew up in florida my sister went to florida state university and so i was going from like clearwater up to tallahassee to visit her this was one of like the tiny towns that you drive through and there was a small christian church and their sign was like they had a concert happening for an acapella group who was coming to perform and their band
name was crimson flow and i'm like no one at any point thought to stop them like who let it get this far i was mid water sip i was almost i almost ruined equipment just now we almost had a real life oh my god but it would have been worth it because yes an acapella group named crimson flow so on the flip side of that my dad used to work in the music business for years and years and and did a lot of things with a lot of bands and to this day if you ask him the best band name ever he will say
bare naked ladies and when you say why he will say because people are stupid and so when people would drive by a bar when barenaked ladies was unknown there would be a sign that says show tonight featuring barenaked ladies and dumb horny men would show up and pay a cover fee and buy tickets to see barenaked ladies which was in fact a canadian band with fat men in it and no bare naked ladies well and also fun fact i believe i should clarify this with my cousin but at um at my wedding
right yeah you should already be laughing at our wedding we my cousin and my uncle played our processional and recessional music is that i don't know whatever sounds right our outro our intro and our outro and then they like played like a song in the middle of blah blah but our outro music if you will i am 98 sure it was um an acoustic instrumental cover of barenaked lady if i had a million dollars i don't think it was if i had a million dollars i'm gonna have to look into this
and circle back with everyone but i'm like how's that i do need to know because honestly in my head i was like was it bear naked ladies or smash [Laughter] i don't know mouths would be better i'm pretty sure it was barenaked ladies knowing my cousin and also my dad has a dream that there will be a band called and you're not which is a-n-d-u-r-e-k-n-o-t which is an actual kind of knot and he was like if i ever had a band that would be our name and our first album would be we are and you're not
and i was like dad that's terrible like it's like a today is 69 bottles so it does not roll off the tongue it doesn't own this so and i i think we've talked about this on before on the show but something i really love is like when you're getting to know your female like main character and love interest the way they describe themselves versus the way men describe them she's like i'm a super average five seven 145 pounds with luscious kissable lips and green eyes and deep breasts
because i was insecure about my a's so i got a boob job but then i gained a little weight so they look natural and not fake and i'm really slender but i have curves because i need to have curves to be a woman and i'm like there's so much happening in this description because it both sounds like you're low-key turned on by yourself and like you can't stand the sight of yourself and you're like i'm just really average there's nothing to write home about except my luscious kissable lips and my
tits and my tits my d tits but i'm no longer insecure since i got them and i'm like i don't think those are the keeper of your security um like we should really talk about that or and by we i mean you should talk about that with your therapist but you're just not on me which is not gonna be me but also not gonna be anyone because you are a character in a book yeah but i still feel like a therapist would be really beneficial here but yeah so she's like i have these like luscious
kissable lips and i'm like five seven and have these fake boobs and so she's asked to go out on tour last minute and is blowing off her friends where she was supposed to have this girl's weekend she always kind of blows them off and so she's like well we were actually she's like we were swiss we were supposed to go to the show and then y'all are asking me to do this like well what concert were you going to go to and she's like we were gonna go to the 69 bottle show and they're like plot twists
that's who we want you to go on tour with so she's like okay well i guess i'll just bail on my friends but give them vip tickets to make it up to them and then her boss cammy is like and they can use my private plane to fly to the show so uh okay yeah this is kind of where the book is starting and so we have a hot pr rep who's 5'7 who's going on tour with a bunch of dudes in a band called 69 bottles that's the start of this book and then we start meeting everyone right
she like packs her bags and shows up and when she shows up she's super like pencil skirt and business attire and is like looking like a sexy secretary yes much more sexy secretary that is harder to say sexy secretary sexy sex i can do it really can you say the word wolf [ __ ] you you know i can't i do know and i intentionally chose a book that didn't have it in the title but we're gonna twist the knife anyway probably every episode of this show forevermore will have me at some point going
[Laughter]
still no it's still wrong damn i got it chelsea honey [Laughter] oh my god i can't stop laughing wolf there we go nailed that one nailed that [ __ ] for a book it's not even in you're welcome not chasing addison claiming addison so we we meet the band she shows up she's like looking a little straight-laced in her pencil skirt we have kyle the band manager and she's like he looks super familiar but i can't place him she [ __ ] him she does not [ __ ] tennis okay um and then you meet some of the
security guys like i i believe all of the security guys are leroy beck mills and rusty sure yeah i can't you'll just hear their names used very interchangeably and i really don't give a [ __ ] about any of them and then the band members that we're gonna meet you have decks cause there's always someone there's a dex or a dax or an axe like or a diesel diesel that was yes there's always someone you're like this name is these all have a similar energy to them so there's dex
peacock no i think his name is eric no there's mouse he could also be the one named eric i don't remember which one is eric why are there why are they animal names well mouse has a pretty high pitched voice and loki sounds like mickey mouse when he speaks so they just call him mouse well that's the sexiest thing i've ever heard right i'm like thank god he's a rock star in a band called 69 bottles or he'd never get laid and so you have dex peacock [ __ ] mouse house and talon
sure naturally yeah why wouldn't talon be the lead singer of this man dex is the drummer no one is surprised um i don't remember who peacock and mouse are they are just kind of side characters through all of this um then dex keeps hitting on her and then she's like my [ __ ] is crying for talon but then she's also into the manager kyle and it seems like she's most into talon and kyle just off the bat but dex keeps hitting harder honestly all of the dudes keep hitting on her like
it's very much one of those like every time she walks in the room they all like their jaws drop on the floor like whatever she's wearing we'll get there in a second but it's just you're like okay she's hot we get it how hot can she be also i don't i'm just gonna say this now she doesn't really do anything as the pr rep she's just there like she is just on tour with them but like throughout this book i'm like have you worked at all it sounds like you cancelled one hotel reservation and
i really think that's all you did so i mean to her credit she sits all of the guys down when she first meets them and it's kind of has this like like live your life i get it you're rock stars i'm not going to interfere but like no cameras don't be a [ __ ] idiot keep your noses clean it's kind of like sure she's like a glorified babysitter yeah she's like there will be hell to pay if you don't because then i have to clean up your mess and it's a lot easier for me to clean up your mess if i know
it's coming and if there are no pictures of it so i'm like that's probably the one time she does anything work related on this show outside of that she's like they're hot and so am i ew she's like i'm hot but average i'm like i'm hot you're hot i'm mostly average but i have big tits so let's do it so not quite that wording but i did once have a guy say you're cute i'm cute sometimes cute people do cute things together nope plot twist it's not my husband i was
gonna say i really hope not because i'm judging super hard right now i could see my husband saying it ironically ironically is one thing but you did not say it in a way that made me think that man was was being ironic that's fair so all right um she meets all the guys gives them this whole speech and then like you just like in her thoughts you're kind of casually catching things where she's like i haven't had sex with anyone for seven years like she's been on a seven year
dry spell and then you just like know like you hear like dan had an accident and you're like who's dan what's the accident okay whatever i guess we'll find out on this journey you couldn't get laid for seven years or you just didn't want to like what well we'll learn okay the pieces will come together so i don't i don't think they will but i appreciate your confidence you know they this is one of those where i'm like i don't really think a lot happened in this book
like this book entirely takes place over like five days and most of that time has been [ __ ] um i mean we'll get into it we really will like there's so much descriptions like we get it we get it oh position change partner change i'm spoilers multiple partners that's where we're going with this so um addy addison addie red is one of her nicknames because she has fire engine red hair naturally yep um she gets an email saying or like finding out that her boss cammy and
cammy's husband tristan michaels who essentially is like a-list celebrity who everyone is obsessed with it sounds like essentially cami's married to brad pitt sort of energy and she finds out they're coming to the show but then she's like oh i don't have vip passes for them and then kyle the band manager is like well why don't you just give them your vip passes and she's like because i have to give them to my friends and he's like why do your friends need them and she's like because
we are going to come to the show and then he's like oh so you're a fan of the band and then it's this whole like embarrassing thing that she's like i don't want the guys to know i'm a fan of them why i'm like i don't i think they'd be like oh thanks we're glad you're into our music if you weren't it wouldn't make what we are doing possible but i'm like i don't know why you're being weird about it whatever so then kyle tells talon like oh she she can't give them the passes because
she needs the passes for her friends and then like they're like teasing her about being into the band yeah the look on your face is right like that's just where we're at so it was a big eye roll for those playing along at home right so then the bus breaks suddenly and they're standing yes and then addison like falls onto talon who catches her so they don't hit the ground um but then like they're kind of having a moment and like talon is like my dick is a little hard and then he looks over and
like kyle is seeing that like talon saved addison from falling and then he's like he's around i'm kind of aroused watching them and so then he's like my dick is twitching too is kind of the energy that's happening so i just want a timeout because in a lot of these books there is mention of dick twitching and i [Laughter] i am not in possession of said appendage and i really have a lot of questions like is that legit like do dicks twitch like i just i remember
mind you i read it probably 15 years ago janice dickinson had written an autobiography and she kept talking about like what i think whenever she fell to route she just described it as her flower tingling i'm like is that what it like is that what we're saying like you're just aroused like oh like my dick twitch i don't know we can bring my husband on and interview him i'm not going to put him on the spot and ask but i'm like that is like a question i i'm definitely not gonna ask
yeah hannah i think it's great that you're not just gonna like go up to my husband and be like can i ask you about your dick and how it twitches does it twitch and if so it like is it an exaggerated twitch like is it a little wiggle like what's happening down there are you just gonna like make really intense eye contact you're gonna be like blink if you're doing twitch blink once for yes and twice for now like blowing on his eyes to see what happens is that where we're gonna end up here no
that's not where we're gonna end up it is not that's good so yeah their dicks twitch when like talon catches addison and you're like oh okay so like the three of them are into each other is the general energy um so then the guys are getting ready for soundcheck for their first show and addison was like i'm gonna get ready and like wear my clothes and like i'm gonna wear what i was gonna wear to the show anyway and so then like she's wearing like a [ __ ] like pleated mini skirt with and like her
like a she was going to wear a 69 bottle shirt but then didn't because she didn't want to like fangirl so she wore a nirvana shirt but then like all of her arm tattoos were on display and she was just this really cool rock chick suddenly so we had an aesthetic change yes she went from secretary to like rock goddess with all of these tattoos that they like didn't realize were there before and so she walks out from like getting ready and all the guys their jaws like drop on
the floor and like oh my god like we had no idea she had all these two tattoos and tattoos [Laughter] tatooine she had all of these tattoos and like how hot she is and all this and then they're like rusty security like you're gonna have a guard on you all night we can't leave you alone and she's like what the [ __ ] like i'm this is what i'm wearing and like i don't need security i'm a grown-ass woman and they're like not dressed like that you need someone with you so like
like all of the guys are kind of like we'd feel better if you didn't wear that or changed like all of them were kind of like that's a lot which so i'm like okay what was she wearing yeah because like if you have like six guys all in there and be like [ __ ] she's gonna need security with her if she's dressed like that i'm like maybe if all of them are saying that we think about our outfit choices but also like siri like okay well i'm like i mean like what was the
thing i was like was she not wearing a bikini yeah i was like was she wearing crotchless panties under her mini skirt and like lifted it for everyone she's like hey guys i'm here what do you think of my outfit right um so like maybe that was it i really have no [ __ ] clue um but they're like rusty's gonna like stay with you all night and so then talon like kind of comes back and he's like no like it really would mean a lot if you like stayed with a bodyguard
we just like want you to be safe um so then she goes to sound check and then like it goes out and then she's like rusty went into the shadows so i could feel like i was alone i was like it's sound check no one is there you're fine girl you're the pr rep shouldn't you know this yeah there's a lot that i'm like so we lived in like my husband and i lived in nashville together and separately for several years and it like when you just know a lot of people in the music industry it's really funny to
read books that i'm like yeah i don't you've never been with a band have you like have you ever been to a concert like that's how it feels sometimes like the amount of money that they're putting into the tour in this book sounds like it's akin to like justin bieber level concert but then there are moments where you're saying like oh like well they're not that big and they still have room to grow or they're like it's a smaller venue like it's not an arena it just holds 17 000
people and i'm like what would you call that space an amphitheater is that the other option um but yes all of these are just side thoughts that i had reading the book so as sound check is starting um they start practicing and it's her favorite song that's not actually in their lineup it's not actually in their set list but it's one of their favorite warm-up songs so like she starts dancing to it it's called like your eyes or my eyes or something about eyes eyes that's in the title that's
really the important part honestly i was like i could go back and look i just don't care enough to do so i'm not invested enough to do that it does not enhance this plot to know if it's your eyes or my eyes we'll just call it eyes is the name of this book for all i care and so i starts playing and like town is like making eye contact with her and it's like super sultry and sensual and then kyle asks her to dance and then like talons looks at them become more intense
because he's into them together and so because his dick is twitching yeah and it literally says talon smolders um so like his dick is twitching and he's just giving them this smoldering look and so they're like addison like looks at kyle and she's like it's like is something going on between y'all and he's like no like we've never like we are both into women we've like maybe shared before but like this isn't like there's nothing between us and then for some reason that i just don't really get
like addison just like gets insecure and takes off he's like okay bye and like just has this moment where she's like well if that's what they think then they must think this about me i'm gone and you're like i don't even understand how we got here she can't handle the smolder the smolder and the dick twitching too much too much dick twitching was happening so then talon goes to check on her on the bus and then as he's like nearing the bus he hears her like shout and then he like runs on
to the bus to make sure she's fine and she burned herself making mac and cheese but then he's like i love mac and cheese that's my favorite food i'm like this is not a sign that y'all should be together but you are taking it as the universe being like reaching we both love mac and cheese like that sounds like a reason people let's get married yeah that sounds like a reason people get together and like are you the one like or love is blind yes yeah like he loves mac and cheese i
love mac and cheese obviously this was the way it was going to play out meant to be right so she makes the mac and cheese talon checks on her she seems to be fine whatever this is as much plot as is happening really nothing is going on but then talon leaves and as she's stirring her mac and cheese she finally places kyle and she realizes why he looks familiar so she goes to confront him about it and what we learn is that kyle is dead dan's brother uh oh right who's dan yeah
like they still haven't explained that at this point who's dan dan hashtag who's dan it's not it's not to be a conspiracy conspiracy theory you're going to get the answer pretty quickly okay um dan is addison's dead fiance oh my stars so that's why she hasn't [ __ ] anybody first yes they were together for three years and he died the week before their wedding ouch and he died in like like they got into a fight and they like hung up and like didn't like say i love
you didn't clear the air at all and hung up and he never made it home that night and so just like one of those were truly a shitty situation yeah and she's never fully recovered from it but it's also like i don't know her flower tingling as i will call it she's like no man's made my flower tingle since dan died but then she's like talking in the future she's like i don't know she's like well like i got with dan when i was so young i don't know if it was just more comfortable
or if he was like really so i'm like okay so you're still grieving him but you're also realizing maybe your conceptualization of your relationship at a young age wasn't right what you thought maybe you were romanticizing the dead partner and making it yes great way to word that great summary um but then kyle like she like goes up to kyle and she's like you're dead dance brother i play [ __ ] and he's like yes i am um i and then she's like did you know who i was and he's like not until you
showed up and you're like i'm your new pr rep he's like and then i recognize you from a photo that my mom still has on their fireplace ouch yes but then kyle's like you need to keep us separate in your heads because i'm not my brother so that's where we're at and we do learn that um kyle and dan were never that close their father had died and when their father died dan like went to law school and was like getting his [ __ ] together and kyle was just like using drugs and partying so
like he wasn't around when dan and addison were dating they'd never met before okay which i'm like three years is a long time it's a really long time i'm just saying um also at some point in this i truly don't remember where we meet the only other girl who's on this tour it's kyle's assistant kate and she's kind of awkward and homely and average i guess what we're saying is she's not addison so the dudes don't give a [ __ ] and but then like because she's kind of
standoffish then like addison's like is she like socially awkward or is she just jealous because now i have the attention of all the guys on this tour but like kate's just kind of there and incompetent and not really doing her job much at all um so then the concert starts her best like addison's best friends are there they got her vip tickets somewhere they got cami and tristan michael's vip tickets so they joined the party as well so like she's saying hi to all of them and like she's
like oh [ __ ] my boss is seeing all of my tattoos on display for the first time okay whatever she works with rock bands like i think you're gonna be fine yeah well and then her boss is like i have wings tattooed too and so then they're just like comparing tattoos and in my head i'm not gonna lie like y'all can't see us i have a decent amount of tattoos hannah has a decent amount of tattoos and yet reading this book with all of the tattoos they have i didn't assume many were good
you know what i mean yeah yeah yeah i'm like you can be covered in tattoos but being covered in tattoos and being covered in good tattoos very different and some we've learned that the hard way i have cover-ups i also have a couple of covers you know i can own that tattoo i got on a whim at 19 the day my boyfriend broke up with me and i had cash burning a hole in my pocket yup like you know it's okay that one's covered now i had a break breakup tattoo but it was when i was 24 so i
feel like i should have known better but that one's also been covered up i don't know about that one i'll have to ask about that one later you don't need to tell that story to everyone listening but i do want to know okay so the concert starts they're all hanging out then as after um the opening act finishes addy or addison is backstage and then the guy's like we want good luck kisses so like dex throws like this like sloppy open mouth kiss on her peacock and mouse give her these
like cute like pecks on the cheek before they go out on stage and then kyle has like kind of like wrapped his arms around her and it's just like kind of holding her from behind and then talon comes up and kisses her but then like she feels kyle's lips on her neck a smudge oh my god and then like she's like i felt resurrection she didn't say she didn't switch right she did not clarify if it twitched i can i can ask zoe derrick the author like so in this scene was kyle's dick twitching
isn't it was it just fully wrecked in there was it yeah was it just pressing and erect so yeah they all get their kisses and then kyle had said to talon he was like hey you should add eyes whatever the name of the song is to the set because it is addison's favorite song and so then talon surprises her and had added it and like performs it then like takes his smolder for her and like puts it on the audience and everyone is like oh my god like he's so dreamy so it's a whole thing right
um then the show ends and there's pandemonium backstage there's everyone who has the vip tickets there's just like a bunch of groupies and she addison has her friends sam and i don't remember the other one it doesn't matter jess i think i'm i could be wrong we'll go with sam and jessica and jess is literally what we'll go with that feels very acceptable um yeah so like sam and jess are backstage and like dex and peacock take an interest in them um and then they all go out to a club
but like there's like dudes not dudes there's girls all over kyle and talon and so she's like okay maybe i'm like misreading this whatever they can go have fun and she's like i'm gonna leave and like go back early and then her friend wants to talk to her about dex and she's like hey here's the thing she's like dex will [ __ ] you and then he will leave you and there will be nothing there he will be sleeping with another girl on tour tomorrow night so you're a grown ass woman and if you want
to sleep with them you can sleep with them yeah but like you need to know what you're walking into and if you do sleep with them i never want to hear about it like i'm not in this i'm not a part of it this is my warning and then jax is standing there and he's like she's right you probably shouldn't sleep with me and i will be sleeping with other people tomorrow night and then she's like okay i'm gonna do it anyway so like addison's like all right i'm out and just like
goes back good for her yeah she's like i set clear expectations i'm out so she goes back and falls asleep um then the next morning on the bus like everyone's just super awkward and like like the guys are kind of like did we misstep and like it just kind of feels like a drunk morning after but like she didn't hook up with anyone right i think they just like don't know what to do and then like well we were into her but we aren't together and so just kind of all of those feelings and
things and then they are in vegas for the next leg of their tour and so the way all of the room assignments work i guess peacock and decks historically share and she had her own room but talon normally gets like the largest suite like he gets the presidential suite or whatever and there's two to three bedrooms and so he was like hey excuse me he's like hey there's three bedrooms in this suite do you just want to stay in one of the bedrooms in in my suite and then
peacock and dex can have their own rooms she's like yeah sure and of course kyle is staying in the other bedroom and they'll sleep naturally um and so then this like they get to the show the good night like the good luck kisses before the show are still a thing so my guy's like i'll give her a kiss and like just like the night before like talon and kyle kind of like tag team this kiss but like it's like gone a little bit further than the night before kind of energy right so then
the after party was also the same as the night before like they get there there's girls all over them and she's like yeah okay i'm i don't know if i'm misreading this but i'm not gonna like spend all of this time and effort with dudes who are wanting to spend time with other girls so she decides she's just like gonna go on a walk she like goes back to the room takes her makeup off gets some comfy clothes and she's like i'm gonna go see the fountains i'm in vegas like
i'm just gonna have fun so when she gets back she gets off the elevator she's on their floor she like hears people shouting and talon is losing his [ __ ] because they don't know where she is okay right it's like one of those where like she goes on a walk and then comes back and he's freaking out and like and he's like you guys need to find her like everything stops until she's found and blah blah blah and she wakes up and she's like i'm a grown ups woman if i
want to go on a walk i'm going to go on a walk and i don't need your permission and i'm right here simmer down yes like she's like sorry i left my phone in my room like it's not the end of the world also who are you to come at me like this and so she's like i'm just gonna go to bed so she goes into their suite dex is in their suite like in the living room area having a three-way with two women good for him right as as is as is dex's energy throughout this entire book at
least he's consistent in his in his storyline we can appreciate it right so then she like walks in sees dex [ __ ] these girls and then sees a bunch of other girls there that are clearly there for talent and then she's like what the hell even more so like why is he freaking out and so she like gets really upset starts crying goes into her room it cuts to like talon's point of view and the girls start like making fun of like like talking about addison and while they're like trying to seduce
him and he's drunk and he's like no i want you gone like i don't want you here and they're like okay then like keep going and he finally calls security to remove these girls from his sweet so much drama right it really it really is there's so much drama but no plot but no plot and like no real con amazing i really feel like any conversations are happening so the next morning addison wakes up and she has a migraine and like a migraine in that way that you're like
oh these are relatively common for her like she like has the specific medication she needs but because by the time she woke up where she realized she's like the meds aren't really going to touch this so this is just one of those days that like i'm out i'm down for the count no lights on i'm not getting out of bed and then talon comes into her room wanting to talk and clear the air and like feels bad and like messing with her and thinks she's just like being standoffish because he
was an idiot the night before and so he like turns on the lights and then she like runs to the bathroom puking right and then he's like oh [ __ ] i'm so sorry and so he's like okay like you need to rest the rest of day and like he like gets her some meds and gets her a juice and like tries his best to take care of her but then she's like i know i'm really sick but the band still needs their good night good luck kisses before they go out on stage priorities man
exactly hers are correct obviously yes so like kyle like helps her dress and is having to like hold her up because she's weak through all of this and whatever i was i'm like girl just stay in bed what and she's like no like they need their like good luck kisses and it's our tradition i was like it's the third night of tour get the [ __ ] over yourself you've done it two times i don't think that counts as a tradition it's a 12-week tour and this is night three it's okay if you have a migraine but
kyle is like holding her up more because she's so weak from the migraine and then like when talon leans in to kiss her she realizes that kyle has moved his hand and is like rubbing talon's erection before he goes on stage nice yes um so then after the kisses are done kyle's like no you aren't staying for the rest of the show you need to get back in bed and rest i was like why wasn't she resting this entire time a rock show is not a place for a person with a migraine for the
record well she's a pr rep she knows what she's doing hannah well and obviously she's absolutely vital so she's adding so much to the tour right now she must be there right so kyle takes addison back she falls asleep and then talon after the show doesn't go out partying he comes up and wants to check on her and then kyle and talon have this heart to heart of being like when i think about her like it always includes you i've never thought of you like this before but like seeing like how into her
you are gets me really excited and aroused makes my dick twitch i don't know if that's the exact wording but that's what we're going with and so then talon's like no i feel the same way and then kyle's like well then stop hurting her oh for and [ __ ] sake right and like calls out on this like double standard but i'm almost like it's a it was the second night of tour i feel like we're getting ahead of ourselves here yeah and towns like we weren't together which i'm like talon's came to write he
has a point like was he leading her along and then was like gonna play it when it was convenient for him sure fine whatever um so kyle and talon essentially this conversation that they're both into her they're not gonna ask her to choose they wanna see where it goes and are open to that with each other as well so the next morning addison wakes up her migraine is gone she's sandwiched and spooned between two men um they start making out sex stuff starts like literally
here are my notes for this section y'all oh kissing and grinding starts goes between both kyle fingers addison talon goes down on her she comes three-way kiss addison sandwich between them addison gives double [ __ ] while guys kiss kyle goes down on addison talon gets condoms kyle boning addison while she gives talon a [ __ ] talon railing out addison then lifts her on to kyle to 69.
um it was a lot i just like it the scene kept going i was like we really committed to this there is stamina present there's a lot of stamina the sex finishes and then addison's like well i guess it's time to corral all the guys for bus call so then they're like and priorities priorities right then they're like we'll all talk about this while we're on the bus and like figure out what we're doing hey there's my puppies we'll get you right back to the show in just a moment but first do you like us
maybe even love us because we sure love you and if you do love us don't tease us tell us in those ratings and reviews wherever you're listening right now maybe even send us over to a special sexy someone that would enjoy getting smutty with us because you know the first rule of smut club is to talk about smut club all right i won't keep you any longer let's get back to the show [Music] there's like no plot to this book i'm like i'm really i think i'm trying to make a plot as i'm telling you guys
feel that way like you're trying to build intrigue but there is none like it's just like okay okay so like the most thing that is like sort of intriguing is that she is [ __ ] her dead fiance's brother with another dude they really normalize that in this book i would oh no i can't say that never mind i don't know where you're going to look on your face when you're like i should shut up was fantastic so they make it to phoenix good for them um they're staying in phoenix for several
days of this tour cami and tristan michaels live in phoenix you know there's going to be a dinner party at their house obviously um that that the band has been invited to we don't actually get to that in this book it continues in the series i don't know if i will be continuing in the series though so you all might have to discover what happens at the dinner party on your own um because quite literally my notes say make it to phoenix hand jobs and facials and talons dressing room and by facials
we mean like a pearl necklace yes yes we do not mean like a face mask this is not a spa treat yeah there's no cucumbers on the eyes i mean there might be but not in the way you're thinking i'm so sorry i'm really i'm so sorry also before they made it to phoenix while they were all on the bus um addison tells taryn not taryn his name is talon sure of course how did i get that one wrong addison tells talon all about dead dan so i have a question hold on is he
referred to as dead dan in the book are you just doing that i think maybe one i think if anything i really took it and ran with it dead dan so she tells talon all about dead dan so now he understands why like she hadn't slept with anyone for seven years and her flower finally started tingling again when she met talon and kyle so we are also supposed to believe she has not been attracted like sexually attracted anyone or aroused in seven years okay i have questions
and i will not be getting answers i honestly don't know if i even care to get it i have a lot of questions and i don't give a [ __ ] about the answers no we're not invested enough to do any sort of speculation about it right so talon and at the phoenix show brings addison out on stage to serenade her during the eyes song awkward i would hate that well then she starts singing along and he's like oh i'm gonna put the mic between us so then she starts singing and like
starts getting into it then realizes he has stopped singing and then everyone's losing their [ __ ] because she has started singing no and so then she like gets embarrassed and then it is what it is like after this song she leaves the show but kami and tristan michaels because they live in phoenix decided to come to this show as well and see her so then her boss is like we need to talk and she's like oh [ __ ] i'm about to get fired because it's clear that i'm like
[ __ ] the [ __ ] the band [ __ ] the band and i'm on stage singing with them when i'm in their pr rep and then cami's like i want to sign you as an artist like it's also a pr company like i don't they're not a label there's a lot of stuff here that i'm like she's not an artist she came out to sing one duet with an established band she does not have any songs right what is she supposed to be signing this does not feel like a great investment on my end but i'm not cammy so live your life
and then after the show talon keeps addison on his lap the whole time so like the groupies are not coming over and trying to [ __ ] him as much i don't know on the drive to the after party they're in the car in the back seat you have kyle and then addison sandwich then talon on the other and you have security in the front kyle's like i'm gonna i'm gonna finger addison and like he like whispers in her ear he's like you need to be quiet like don't let them know what's
happening up front and so then like she comes on his fingers and then he puts his fingers in talon's mouth in the backseat and i'm like i really feel like they can see that like i mean just because we're not making a ton of noise doesn't mean they're blind right there is a rear view mirror i would imagine well and they're also like talon only really claims addison publicly he'll like squeeze kyle's hand in passing but like they're like not together publicly and like that feels like a very
loud statement maybe that's just me but yes so i'm like okay so this is just casually happening with security sitting like also they described it like a sedan they did not describe this like a limo with barrier walls like it it seemed like there was less than three feet separating them from the front row yikes um so my next notes on this show just literally or on the book literally just say honestly just so much sex they like they drive to the after party he fingers
her in the car they get back to the hotel lots of positions everyone got at least one orgasm good for them and honestly even the next chapter starts and it's like kyle got an orgasm like kyle finished as well i just didn't give you the details or something like so you felt like your scene was long-winded is that what i'm reading that even you were like i don't want to write it as an afterthought kyle also came yes they're like oh chapter 43 yeah i guess kyle finished too in case
you were worried about it kyle finished right but because kyle didn't have that scene they felt bad so the next morning when addison gets up and she's like i need to shower wait is that when that happens it doesn't matter it [Laughter] i mean so she gets up the next morning and then like kyle joins her in the shower there's more sex had in the shower and then when she gets out of the shower she opens her computer and like picks up her phone and it is blowing up and so she's
like what the [ __ ] happened what went sideways everyone needs to get into here now so security starts grabbing all of the band guys from their hotel rooms and dragging them in and dex essentially this is also like the 75 of the way through the book that's where we're at right now the 75 and this is our plot um so they'll all come in then dex is like big grammys i couldn't even grab clothing so i guess you want me naked here like just kind of being a pompous
ass and i get them a towel what the [ __ ] this is also like 75 might be the first time addison starts doing any pr work well she was busy she had a lot of penises to deal with sorry my makeshift footstool that is an empty liquor box just made a bumpy sound my bad um so she pulls the band in like reams all of them like this is why i said no phones and like and no cameras and then they're like are all the girls still in the room don't let them leave and like well like what happened though so
someone released photos of dex like naked in bed surrounded by several girls with like drugs and alcohol sure in the background and we're all shocked by that because he's a rock star i was dumbfounded i did not see this plot twist coming so she like lays into all of them dex is like appropriately remorseful and then they're like all right dex you go sleep this off there's nothing else for you to do honestly our best option is probably going to be not responding or doing
anything so addison really doesn't do anything because through this whole scandal she's like it'll add to his intrigue because he's a rock star so i'm not going to release a pr statement like what the [ __ ] are you doing outside of [ __ ] the band and the manager nothing no she's singing and singing right so then when addison's like all right bring all the girls in here and in while they're waiting she starts opening up all of the news articles and like texts
she got and she's like oh i feel kind of bad something like 20 of that was about dex the other 80 was the video of me and talon singing together went viral oh my stars so yes most of it was actually about her and talon and them like wanting her to be an artist and like everyone was losing their [ __ ] over like someone like had recorded the full song at the show so then she like doesn't want to like tell the guys this yet um why who cares right yeah so then they bring in the girl who
sold the pictures they grabbed her from his room because they found the pictures on her phone and then addison's like yeah i bet whoever you sold them to she's like i bet they asked you for 500 like or they paid you 500 and i told her they turned around and sold these for fifty thousand dollars and they're like what i could have made more money on these pictures and then the girl was like yeah she just asked me for proof that i [ __ ] decks and to send pictures of it and then
they're like okay what did the girl look like what was it the assistant yes oh my stars so as they're describing it you're like that's the dumpy assistant and so then the dumpy assistant gets brought in and then you learn she really only made ten thousand dollars off of these photos um but then kate is like i had to do it to dex because jax is the reason my sister tried to kill herself and i was like where did this come from we know nothing about this sister this is not anything that's been
going on in the book and then she's like i needed the money for her hospital bills to save her okay um and yeah no that pause is the right response so then like addison is like why don't you and dex go talk about this and then kate's like i don't want to [ __ ] talk to him and addison's like well you sure pulled a big stunt to get his attention did you think maybe you could just ask him for help let's go talk so jax and kate go off to have this conversation and then talon is like telling ducks
like you oh like add an apology because now she's the one who has to clean up your mess and addison's like it is just my job and i'm almost like and she hasn't done anything except although in fairness it's been what like four days so is there a lot to do in four days you know you write you write but she does tell talon and kyle she's like well and honestly don't even worry because dexa scandal has already been buried because of mine and then the guy's like wait what
and then she tells kyle and talon that cami wants to sign her and then talon's like you're gonna sing with me at every concert and she's like i don't know if i want to do that and then like he plucks her nipple while kyle puts his hand and her pants and fingers are like what about now will you say yes to seeing every concert now and then after enough plucking of the news i guess i don't know they're like oh she's like yes i'll do it and so then they all have more sex sure and
then they all go get tattoos that's on brand um and then kyle is like hey i need a new personal assistant so why don't you be my assistant i already told them i had someone for the job i'm like okay so now she's the pr rep who was like so vital for this tour and the only person who could do it well yeah the good luck kisses and the good luck kisses um so she's now the pr rep the singer and the manager's assistant i hope that she negotiated for a lot more money she really
is well i think she might just take getting real this payment i think that might be what's happening here good for her i can respect that hustle well and something else that i said like they're at the tattoo shop and she's getting into tattoo on her ribs and the wait what's the tattoo intricate like filament and and stars under her boob on the left side and then she was like i want to get the right side done too so like do you want to be any different and she's like i want
hearts instead of stars but i want them to be fire hearts and i'm like these tattoos don't sound good that's the worst thing i've ever heard and for the record my ribs are done completely like i have a wraparound front tattoo that comes up onto my sternum that is not something that you're like oh i also would like to do the other side like that's just not how tattooing works does this author have any tattoos well because two of the band members went to the shop the shop was like hey if anyone
else wants more tattoos and your band will shut down our shop for tonight and do a private tattooing with all of our artists for y'all okay so then she got the first tattoo done and it took like two hours and then they were like well the other guys have some time to go so do you just want to get your other side done too it's also just not how it works though no well and i also just want to say then they were talking about her like back tattoo and they're like how many hours
was your back piece and she said 62 hours i'm sorry what i have so many questions do you have your back down hannah no okay i have my back not my entire back i have from like my left shoulder blade onto the back of my right bicep okay is kind of done it's a world map made of flowers is what i have okay and i think total for most of my upper back to be tattooed i sat for eight hours yeah and so when she was like my back i sat for 62 hours i'm like what the [ __ ]
back piece do you have i mean straight up so my left arm like my whole left bicep like all wrap around is done my left forearm is done my right arm bicep and tricep are done i have all my front and back and my forearm of my left arm done both of my thighs are done my right shin is done my foot is done my ribs my sternum all done and that probably wasn't 62 hours like that probably wasn't 62 hours for real i mean i was looking at these numbers and i was like these numbers where what
a tattoo artist did you consult with where was it someone's first day of their apprenticeship and you're like how long does does this average back beast take and they were like at least 60 hours because i'm like what was happening in that back piece yes because like legit i'm including the the originals and the cover-ups i have two cover-ups what the [ __ ] no that's fair if i include my cover-ups i think i'm with all of my tattoos i am like my thigh my back my left arm all of my
smaller like all of my tattoos i'm looking at probably less than 40 hours yeah like i'd say like maybe like i haven't added up the hours but i would say somewhere between 30 and 50 hours for all of my tattoos i was just thinking that including definitely less than 50 for me oh yeah probably 50 is like 50 is very generous and i'm like that's all of them like how your back isn't even that big if you are five seven and 145 pounds to be slender yeah curvy because okay
okay so that's where we're at they went and got tattoos she gets intricate tattoos under her boobs which in like whenever the guys like want to hug her she's like ow because she can't lift your arms and to be fair if you've ever had your yeah if you've ever had your ribs tattooed it is a [ __ ] unpleasant yeah i mean i have so my whole front like i said wrap around is done up onto my sternum and even that like on my ribs on the sides i was like that is not my favorite sensation like
that's not pleasant but i was okay until they got to my sternum and then i was like i have made a mistake and i want to die like when they got up onto my sternum i was like nope no no no i had been thinking of more of like a sternum rib breast piece more recently yeah no you're making me rethink that i would not recommend i have never never in all the tattoos that i have had been like i need this to stop like i will just have an unfinished tattoo like legitimately never until she got up
onto my sternum and then i was like just one big fat tear ruled out my eye and i was like i will die here it was so bad and my best friend was with me and she was like do you want some chocolate i was like no chandler i don't want any [ __ ] chocolate i want this to end like chocolate won't make this end faster no i did eat the chocolate but as you should i would be disappointed if the story turned uh if you were like you're like [ __ ] you and [ __ ] your chocolate i'm like no you should still
eat the chocolate i i did but it didn't make it better you know that happens yeah so all right back to claiming claiming addison so what did the other two guys get um well so talon didn't get any tattoos why didn't he he had a reason because he's a little [ __ ] honestly that feels true to my soul i know it's not what she he had a reason or i oh he would get sick whenever he would get tattooed so he's a little [ __ ] yeah so he's a little [ __ ] essentially and then kyle got two heart not two
hearts he got two stars tattooed it sounded like the tattoos that were like really popular in like the 2000s like the five-point star solid black shading on half this like those where i think they were on his left chest and he does have a tattoo that said daniel that she saw in all of his tattoos before i mean i understand that that's not relevant but that is actually i learned the five-pointed star is like a russian prison tattoo that somehow became popular in the early odds which
given the current climate we may want to avoid yeah let's let's not get russian paraphernalia yeah tattoos um well and that's the thing she's like oh i didn't ask him what the tattoos meant i figured he'd tell me if he wanted it because one of the tattoos it was black and red and the other one was black and blue ink so i'm like oh i bet it's for talent and addie who wants to make assumptions like that all of us i'm like cool cool we already often leap to conclusions this is not one of those
times just like addison left to conclusions early on in this book like but she should not have we had ground we had we had better reasons so she gets her fire hearts tattooed under one boob and the stars tattooed under another and just like the way they were described i was like there is no way that i'm imagining these tattoos that they are cool tattoos no so whatever [ __ ] it they go and get tattoos and then talon's like i wrote a song and she's like oh and then he's like i
want to add it to our set list and i wrote it as a duet and i want you to sing it with me and since she's like oh well i already committed to singing i don't know maybe you played me the song but like it's just kind of this like like man once again she went from just being the pr rep who already wasn't like does she have time as the pr rep who's not doing dick to i mean she is doing dick you're right the twitching dick because she's doing she's doing some like
oh my gosh just this entire book i can't um so whatever i honestly don't remember the conversation he's like i wrote this new song she's like i want to hear it okay and then while she's working talon and kyle go out and like buy her a whole new wardrobe and they're like you're gonna be on stage every night like you need new clothes and then she like loses her [ __ ] on them and like runs into her room and then talon comes in and like talks to her about it and she just felt like it was like
encroaching on her independence and then talon tells her he's a musician because of his childhood where i don't really remember what happened but zoe is really trying hard for plot well out of very like she realized she didn't have any and then was like let me but here's the thing they're still not really plot because much like j.s scott's books where you're like the confrontation is like wrapped up very very quickly almost in a way that ends with sex and ends
with with sex yes it's like she loses your [ __ ] then town like tells her about his childhood trauma that essentially led to him and i think his mom being i think his dad beat him him and his mom were homeless he learned to play guitar so he was like a homeless busker child i think okay yes or what's the other word what does that have to do with the clothes how he shows love i guess okay so we're getting into the five love languages at the end of this book um the five languages are like
heteronormative nonsense like they don't make any sense if you really think about it i know a lot of therapists are super into it but i am not here's the thing much like a lot of like five love languages enneagram mbti like really any of those things i'm like yeah they can serve a purpose and be helpful but like let's not base our entire worlds around this it's also like halfway a horoscope like don't at me but like that's halfway a horoscope okay so talon was a homeless busker child
i honestly don't remember i think him and addison have a resolution [ __ ] something they probably orgasm and then they come out and kyle's like oh is everything resolved and then he tells them that when they're in new york they'll be staying a little bit longer and having to rework their tour because they're going to be recording a duet version of the eyes song um which is now number one on the billboards oh my star but it's number one on the billboards but then
everyone's like upset because there's not a duet version on the billboards and then like the last few minutes of the book are kyle being like it's kyle's point of view and they're like i told them the good news about recording um i didn't tell them the bad news i got today and that's the end of the book that's the you just tell me the bad news no because i didn't download the second book because i was like i don't think i give a [ __ ] enough to learn about the bad
news i was like i feel like with the way this book is going the bad news could be that they like are sending another person out to be his assistant or the bad news could be he stubbed his toe that morning right i mean it legit at this point could be that she's pregnant and she doesn't know yet or something it could be his dick twitch the wrong way against his zipper and now he has he's out of commission yeah out of commission is better than now he has a swoop but yeah um
so how are we rating this should it be out of weird russian prison stars i was gonna go out of out of 69 bottles yes yes out of 69 bottles i would give this book so that's roughly let's round that to 70 bottles right okay to make the math easier that we're not going to do anyway no one is going to be up here i don't know out of 69 or 70 bottles i'm going to say like 30 half-filled bottles so 15.
why are you being weird because i didn't want to be that much of an [ __ ] sorry like 100 just nordica so it's like 30 bottles but all of those bottles had someone remove the lids spit in the top of them and then reseal them no it's like it's like 30 bottles that were in some rich person's house and their kid drank half and refilled them with water yes yes that that is our metric that is our final rating thank you for going on that journey with us if you just want like some
male male female sex scenes this is a good book for that sure um because really there's not much else in the book outside of those scenes like it's one of those really like oh cool like the chapter ended the next chapter starts we're still there we're still in this oh they there was a position change okay bless you hannah thank you yes so um that was the most masculine sneeze i've ever had it definitely wasn't my husband sneezing in the other room that i attributed to
hannah it was definitely just hannah's sneaky thing yep yep so it's allergy season it is allergy season we're gonna go 30 out of 69 bottles that had been consumed by a teenager and then refilled so their parents wouldn't know yep topped up with water that's the best we can offer for this we really appreciate you guys hanging in there for that one we'll see about other books and if they're better in the future in this series because we might want to find out the bad news spoiler
also someone else wanted to find out the bad news and then tell us we wouldn't stop you and we would not be upset about the spoilers i may download the second book and just read the first chapter just so i can know and let you know but well yeah i read this like the synopsis for the second book it looks like someone may attack addison on tour like they were like is she safe so who knows this may turn into a mafia romance as well who can say love that journey for us right do we i don't love
this journey um i might circle back this journey at some point when i get desperate and don't have other things to read um i wanted to like this book i tried i really tried to like this book i tried to give it a plot you did you worked really hard i gave that book way more plot than it had so you're welcome thank you all right y'all have a good evening thank you for hanging out with us today we're sorry that this is this is the book see you next time guys bye
next week on smut club in my head dwayne the rock johnson will be playing the scorpion in this entire book this is not that but i do think that imagining dwayne will be helpful and just a brief shout out dwayne if you're listening hit me up so when we love you my husband and i put you on our family holiday christmas card yeah you did so like yeah yeah hit us up we'd love we'd love to know what smut you're into these days yeah i mean make a request man we will review it 100
or you can read it with us and we can review it with you that is living the dream [Music] well that's it for this week's mud [ __ ] we hope it was good for you because it sure was great for us if you're digging what we're doing it would mean a lot if you take a minute to rate and review the show wherever you're listening right now maybe tell that sexy someone to lend us an ear we love you we appreciate you and we'll see you next week stay spotty [Music] you