Stitch vs Yoda

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Plus you get ad-free versions of all of our shows, bonus stuff, and access to virtual hangs with me, Molly. Again, that's smartypass.org. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Now on with the show. From the brains behind brains on, it's Smash Boom Best. The show for people with big opinions. Hi, I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Bloom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best.

Today's debate pits two out-of-this world wonders against each other. One is small, blue, an Elvis fan, and a powerful force of destruction. The other is small, green, a teacher, and powerful with the force. It's Stitch versus Yoda. Surfing In on a wave of enthusiasm for Team Stitch is comedy writer and Lego Master Sam Suksiri. I'm going to leave the audience in stitches.

And I'm gonna leave Peter in stitches. And coming in hot from a galaxy far, far away, it's actor, comedian, and story pirate Peter McNurney for Team Yoda. Oh mess with Yoda! Watch everyone's favorite two-foot sorcerers in the house! And here it is. This extraterrestrial throwdown is Frankie from Rocky. Queens. Frankie loves sushi, Broadway, all things marvel, and has a freckle on his eye. Welcome Frankie. Hello. So Frankie, you tell us about your eye freckle.

Um, my eye freckles. So one day my mom and dad took me to the doctor, um the eye doctor and they did like scans of my eyes and things. And it turns out I had a freckle in my eye. That's so cool. Can can you see it from the outside? No. Ooh, so it's a secret freckle. No, it it's not secret because I tell it a lot. It could be secret, but you choose it not to be. Very cool.

How did you first get into Marvel? Uh I I I d when I was little I liked Marvel and Lego sets and that's kind of all you need to know. Okay. I love it. So you've listened to the show for a long time. What advice do you have for our debaters today? Whenever I listen to podcasts, what gets me going is you guys gotta be really funny. Um and have to have logic that rounds up well with how your debate works.

Just do have well written debates and like good logic compiled to them and be funny because I wanna laugh. Okay. Time to tickle Frankie's funny bone today. There is nothing more intimidating for a comedian than make me laugh now. Be funny. Let's find out which alien life form Frankie thinks is number one. But first First here are the rules of the game.

Every debate consists of four rounds, the Declaration of Greatness, the Micro Round, the Sneak Attack, and the Final Six. After each round, our Judge Frankie will award points to the team that impresses him the most, but he'll keep his decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. Okay.

Frankie, Peter, and Sam. Are you ready? Yes, yes, indubitably. I was genetically engineered in a lab by a mad scientist to be ready. I was not born ready because I was a baby and this show didn't exist. But I have become ready since then. That it's time for the declaration. In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have thirty seconds to rebut their opponent's statement.

We foot a coin and Sam, you're up first. Tell us why Stitch was genetically engineered to win our hearts. Close your eyes and walk with me for a moment. Okay, okay. Sorry, sorry. I meant I meant figuratively. Don't walk with your eyes closed. Picture this. One day a super scientist creates a nearly Indestructible alien in the lab. has one goal to destroy. What creature are you picturing? Towering Ominous. Well, what if I told you this alien is none of those things? This alien is actually cute.

The blue alien hero of Lila. A bunch of aliens try to destroy him, but he escapes and lands on Earth. There, a young girl named Lelo mistakes him for a dog and As far as super powerful aliens go, A stitch might be the cutest. He kinda resembles a koala. He's got wide eyes, giant ears, and a big old Awesome cute and bluffy! Stitch might only be around three feet tall. But he really packs a punch. Stitch.

Is a force to be reckoned with. He's incredibly durable because he's bulletproof, fireproof, and can even shape shift. Stitch is also certifiably J. He can move objects more than 3,000 times his size. Little Blue Dude never skips leg day. My guy is absolutely young. Stitch isn't just muscle either. He's incredibly intelligent. He outsmarts the highest level of alien security in minutes. He learns the ukulele, hula dancing, and the English language in seconds.

That's cool and all, but didn't you say Stitch was designed to destroy everything in the sight? Astute observation, human child, who randomly walked into my studio session. Hey man, the door was unlocked. Yes, Stitch was specifically designed to obliterate everything in his path like a true chaos demon. He basically invented rage baiting. He slobbers and drools. He snarls and scratches. He shakes his butt at other aliens to mock them. And It's hilarious.

All respect to Yoda, but that wrinkly little green guy never had the riz or comedic genius of Stitch. So yeah. Stitch was initially extremely destructive, but he evolves, and that's what makes him so compelling. After Stitch Crash lands on Earth, Bond with Lilo. Monster. She's patient with him and challenges him to create. Instead of destroy, Lilo also stitched the importance of ohana. Ohana means family.

Family means no. Yeah. Ohana is a Hawaiian term that means family of all kinds, whether you share the same DNA. Simply found each other. It's about showing care and support. Since Stitch was created in the last He has no family. He's just a lost, lonely creature. But through Ohana. Destroyed. Instead The family and Lelo and her sister Nan. is my family this little and broken but still good Yeah still good Stitch Still good

Yoda is certainly impressive, but he sets a nearly impossible standard. Inspirational, sure, but hard to connect with. Stitch is powerful too. deeply flawed. Better, fails at times, but always tries again. Relatable. He's an underdog. An under alien pretending to be a dog. And who doesn't want to root for that? So I'll say it loud and I'll say it proud. Team cute and fluffy all the way. A true blue argument there for stitch.

Frankie, what stood out to you about Sam's argument? You're really good with the emotional moments. You made some good points towards the beginning and uh it was a bit uh campy. Yeah, Stitch does look like a koala. Yeah. It really does. I I liked it. Especially around the emotional parts. I just why didn't you include Elvis Stitch? I like Elvis Stitch.

There might be time for Elvis Stitch later. Okay, Peter, it is time for your rebuttal. You get thirty seconds to tell us why we should ditch stitch. And your time starts. No. Oh okay, let's compare two things. Absolute agent of chaos that's gonna destroy your home and you gotta take care of it like Like an army of toddlers destroying your house, or the universe's most powerful and wise creature, who, by the way, also is introduced

With a full slapstick routine, a truly comedic character who can turn it on and turn it off in the appropriate context. Ah, flawless Yoda for the And time. Yeah, I mean if you think Stitch uh is bringing chaos to the galaxy, I would like to remind everybody that Yoda was overseeing the Jedi Order when a Sith Lord overthrew the entire galaxy.

So Stitch was created as a monster and got loose and learned to be better. Yoda was at the wheel when the galaxy was taken over by the bad guys. So who really brought K? That's r that's really good. I blame Qui Gon Jin. Uh Whoa How dare you? How dare you? This debate is often Stellar start. Alright, time to get back to Stitch versus Yoda. We've heard from Team Stitch. Now Peter, it's your turn to tell us why the greatest Yoda is.

Now, before we begin, I'd like to tell you about a mystical power I'm mastering. It's an energy that binds the galaxy. It runs through all living things. It lets users do amazing feats with their mind. And it's called The F- HA! You thought I was gonna say the force? Sorry, that's way out of my league. The farce is kind of like the force, only different in every single way. Instead of manipulating minds and moving things with your thoughts, the farce lets you tell a good joke.

Knock knock. Who's there? Peter. Peter who? Peter McNerny. No, that's that's not a joke. That's literally just my name. Sorry, I'm still learning. Luckily, I've got the greatest teacher. Yoda. Punchlines you must work on. Master the end before the beginning you try. Mm. So wise, Master Yoda. Yoda is a tiny green 900-year-old alien. Imagine if you took your lovable old grandpa and your favorite elementary school teacher and a skilled warrior Giant blender.

I don't know why you would have that and actually if you did that you'd get arrested because that's dangerous and um actually let's forget. But if you combine them all together in a safe, non-blendery way, you'd get Yoda. He first appeared in the movie The Empire Strikes Back. Luke Skywalker was on a swampy planet looking for a Jedi master when he ran into a troublesome little goblin. Luke tries to shoe him away, but twist, that goblin was the Jedi Master Yoda.

Judge a book by its cover, you must not. Ugh, a valuable lesson. Yoda also teaches us that even the smallest can be super powerful. He lifts huge objects with his mind, does sick backflips, and takes on whole armies with his lightsaber. It's so fun to see a tiny old creature do all that! But Yoda would rather solve problems with words. A Jedi uses the force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.

Another lesson? Yes, please. It's exactly why I solve problems with humor. For example, why did the chicken cross the road? Why? Because um he was At the crosswalk Ah Darn it, I forgot to come up with a punchline again. The greatest teacher failure is so true. That's another great thing about Yoda. He gives great advice, but then lets people make their own choices, even when he sees they are about to make a big mistake. Because he knows that's how we learn.

Also, Yoda is lovable. When Empire came out, some critics said he was the best part. And they were right! And that movie had Harrison Ford. Stitch and Yoda are similar, short, colorful, big ears, but guess what? Yoda came first! Stitch is just coasting off of Yoda's lovable style. And speaking of lovable, have you seen Grogu? AKA Baby Yoda? He's so cute. I love him so much. I wanna hug the force right out of him. I know! Is super powerful, wise, a great teacher, and adorable.

What more could you This debate ends now. Darth Oh Darth Well actually who are you? Darth Stephen Vader's my cousin and I'm stopping this nonsense Oh Alright, well in that case Huh? Oh right! Like Yoda said, Got it! Steven. Did the chicken cross the road? Uh I don't know. Why? To get to the dum dum's house. Huh? Knock knock. Who's there? It's me, the chicken. Huh? I didn't realize you lived here. Wait, d oh, does that mean I'm the dum dum? Is'cause it's my house?

Ho ho ho ho ho, Peter! That was funny. You got me. Ah. I'll leave peacefully. Dum dum. I did it! Thanks to some help from the best teacher ever, Y-O-D-A Yoda. Incredible. A lovely, lovely declaration of greatness there for Yoda. Frankie, what stood out to you about Peter's argument? I like how it was m like less of an argument and more of a story. Mm-hmm. That was really that was really good.

Um and it was really funny, um, especially uh with the far the farce. Uh I felt that like that was a space balls reference. Yes I think it was the Schwartz. Uh the Schwartz may the Schwartz be with you. Um and I I definitely um liked uh reference to uh G R Rogu, he's cool. Uh and yeah, it w it was very good. Uh and I'm torn, honestly. This is a tough one. All right.

Sam, you get thirty seconds to say no duh to yoda and your time begins right now. So what's always fascinating me about the Star Wars movies, especially after the prequels came out, is that we see Yoda try to fight evil power versus power and it didn't work. But then, like you said, Yoda is very wise. So why didn't Yoda train up Leia instead of Luke? Because Leia doesn't fight fire with fire. She's using she's a senator.

She's also secretly part of the rebellion. She's wise. She's using ways of influencing the good in people through words. So why didn't Yoda train Leia? She's also a Jedi. She's as much a Jedi as Luke. And Luke's just him. Okay. Yeah, I'll tell you why. Because Luke put in the effort. He took the X Wing to Dagobah and splashed in that water and he showed up. And Yoda's there to let people make their own Choices, be they good or bad. Yes. Luke did crash his his space plane. That's true. It's true.

As un a deniable. Okay, Frankie, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best, and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you laugh? Did another team bring stronger arguments? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision? Yes, I have.

Oof. Very good. Sam and Peter, how are you two feeling so far? Boy, I'm amped up. I'm excited. It's electric. Bazap, bzap. I feel the electricity through the cables. All right, it's time for a quick break. Charge up your lightsaber or flip your Elvis record over. And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Vest. Hey, debate pals. This is Taylor Lincoln, and I'm here with my argument amigo, Todd Douglas.

Hey there, Taylor, or should I say Ao Tod, you good? I sure am. It's a full moon tonight, so I'm getting into the spirit. Ooooo Tod Wolves don't actually howl at the full moon. So I've been perfecting my howl for nothing? That's real rough. But your lunar know how has reminded me of a logical fallacy I overheard. A logical fallacy is a weak argument that makes a debate easy to beat. It sure is. Let's take a listen to the argument so we can spot the fallacy in motion.

Wow, you can really see all the stars once you leave the city. I know, and the moon looks so bright out here. It's incredible. But that's the power of cheese for you. What? You didn't know? The moon is made of cheese, either munster or a white cheddar. Dave, the moon isn't made of cheese. That's an old fairy tale. I think I know what I'm talking about. I'm a cheesemonger. I make and sell cheese for a living. Just because you're a cheese expert doesn't mean you know about the mood. Yeah.

But it does mean I know about cheese, which the moon is made of. Wow! When the moon hits your eye, that's a fallacy. Yeah, specifically the appeal to authority fallacy. That's when you believe something must be true because an expert supports it. Just because Dave knows a lot about cheese doesn't make him a moon expert. Now all this cheese talk is making me hungry. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Oh yeah, let's fun do it. And we'll see you next time.

You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom. And I'm your judge, Frankie. And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners like this one. Harriet and I'm Inspiring. in Western Australia. Nice debate of planetary proportions. We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Harriet thinks should win. And now back to Stitch versus Yoda.

Get ready for round two. It's the Micro round. Sam and Peter, you will each get three chances to make a micro argument backed by a cool fact. Sam started things off last round, so Peter, you get to go first this time. Let's hear your first fact. You know, it makes sense that Yoda is so lovable because he is literally a Muppet. Yes, a Muppet, like

Kermit Gonzo and Miss Piggy. The original Yoda Puppet was made by Jim Henson and his team, the people who made Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, and the actor who gave Yoda his voice is none other than Frank Oz. He did the voice of such incredible characters as Miss Piggy? Fozzie Bear and Grover heard of them? He was the one who did Miss Piggy? Yeah. Yes he was. Oh, go curb me. So Yoda has the perfect puppet pedigree. Oh, you want to talk about voices?

Stitch was originally supposed to be a silent character, but The movie's director, Chris Sanders. did such a good job recording uh like a scratch version of Stitch's audio, which is basically what they just kind of use for storyboarding, and everybody loved it and they couldn't find anything better than that because, you know, it was the director's own passion going into the character.

Uh oh yeah? Yeah well guess what? Yoda's confusing vibe in that movie. Boy, it's on purpose. When they were designing the character of George Lucas, the guy who made Star Wars, he wanted Yoda to come off. Less like all powerful big guy and more like a little Dalai Lama, r you know, someone who you underestimate. He wore shabby clothes and he lived in a swamp to teach Luke to pay attention and respect even the lowliest of people. More great life lessons from Master Yoda. Yes, please Stitch?

resonates with audiences and Stitch literally resonates. Stitch can play a record just by putting one of his cute little claws onto the record groove and then opens up his mouth and bam he's a Victorola. Uh speaking of records. Yoda has been honored with Maybe the the most incredible prize in pop culture. No, it's not an Oscar. He was parodied by Weird Al Yankovic. That's right. Weird Al wrote a song about Yoda to the tune of the King's Lola. Yoda.

Oh I O D A E O da It does not get cooler than that. I didn't listen to that, but now I want to. Oh, it's so good. You gotta listen to it. That one got me. Okay, I gotta go out of left field here. Uh I don't uh to come back to that one. All right. Okay, this is really maybe just some more Yoda trivia than Stitch trivia. But okay, so you know how George Lucas directed Star Wars? George Lucas's earliest like his second movie ever was American Graffiti.

Which is about a bunch of teens in Modesto, California driving cars around. So you know how uh Grogu loves playing with that little metal ball inside of uh the the razor crest and and Mando's always like, Don't play with that, give me back that little metal ball'cause it's it goes on to like the stick shift. So in American graffiti. When um uh what's his name? Milo, the guy who who drives the really fast red hot rod.

When he picks up this this uh little girl by accident, she is also like, I wanna play with the little stick shift knob and he's like, Don't play with that kid. And by the end of the movie, when they become friends He gives her the stick shift knob and it's I think that's where they got that thing for for uh Grogu. That's a great argument for Yoda, yeah. It's a great argument for American Graffiti or Mel'Diner. So you both get one. Yay, okay.

I was into all of those facts. I learned a lot. I don't know about you, Frankie, but Frankie, which facts were your favorite? Um I liked um Frank Oz and Jim Henson and how they worked on Yoda. Um I um on Stitchy's side you made some good references to the movie which I feel really um sold me over. Mm-hmm. Um but what really I did uh but also s uh Yodas Deside. I liked Yodas Deside the reference to the director, so yeah. Okay.

A lot of good facts there to sift through. But Frankie, only one of them can get a point. Whoa, that was so fast. Okay. Hold tight, we'll be right back with more to be. Want Smash Boom best without the ad breaks? Join Smarty Pass and get an ad free feed of this and all the other Brainson Universe shows. Plus, you'll get to do virtual hangs with me and the crew and discounts on merch. Sign up at brainson.org. Boom boom. Boom.

We are back and it's time for our third round, the super stealthy sneak attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's attack is called running for mayor. Your side is delivering a speech to a city or town of your choosing about why they should elect your side mayor. You could choose to embody Yoda or Stitch or someone else campaigning on their behalf.

It is Sam's turn to start us off. You're gonna have sixty seconds max. You can go shorter than that if you want. Let's hear your rousing campaign speech for Stitch. Ladies and gentlemen, I come to you with my proposition that we are all Ohana. And as Ohana, this city must work together. And that will be very nice for everyone. And that means that if

Somebody isn't feeling good, we all take care of them. Because ohana means no one gets left behind or forgotten. And if somebody is doing really well, they help everybody else out because A rising tide lifts all floating spaceships. This works is getting a little hard to do. Has it been 60 seconds yet? You can stop whatever you want. Oh. Oh.

Stitch, that was beautiful. I it's Stitch we just see though we all love Stitch. So Stitch, you you are cute and fluffy and everybody loves Stitch. I didn't see the campaign posters. They say Ohana with a you know graphic silhouette. Of stitch on top. Yeah. All right. Peter, it's your turn. Please try to win our votes for Yoda's mayoral candidacy. New leadership this small uh village needs. Elect me, you shall there is A dark force creeping through the village, and it is the distinct

Lack of composting! Yes! Little green bins we need to put in food scraps. Methane gas is released when buried in landfills! You should compost, good for the environment it is. I also believe in uh Uh uh childcare for for three year olds. Yes. Wow. And these aren't the droids you're looking for. Goodbye. Wow. I really liked I really liked both of them. And I drew like a little drawing of

A guy sitting down with his hands up. That's a meme called Absolute Cinema. And I did that for both of your voices, which I thoroughly enjoyed. Wow. Highest praise. The absolute cinema meme. Uh reporter from the uh from the the Star Wars Daily News, can I ask a follow up question to Yoda? Sure. Yes. Uh do you support childcare for children who may be, you know, still babies but also eighty years old? Hmm, yes. Uh we all know the dangers of training children too old. Uh um

Um but yeah, fifty for one of whatever species I am. That's like fresh out of the oven. Um yeah, do you uh Peter, as a reporter, do you have any questions you'd like to ask uh Stitch over there? Uh yes, uh Stitch, while Yoda was speaking, how many things did you destroy? I'll I'll Well, you know, if I just stuffed it into my mouth and I can still regurgitate it in mostly one piece, is it destroyed? That is the question. Deep thoughts here. All right.

Frankie, it is time for you to vote. In a sense, you're gonna choose which side is gonna get a point. But please keep it a secret. This shouldn't be this difficult. It is very difficult. Who is gonna get your point? Have you made your decision? Yes. Wonderful. Then it's time for the

In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Peter, please tell us why we should side with the little green guy. Nothing cooler is there than Jedi. Mmm, very nice. Sam, you are up. Please make your final pitch for Stitch. Whoa. Yeah, I like that incredible work. All right. Frankie, it is time to award a final point for the final six.

Have you made your decision? Yes. Frankie, are you ready to declare one side the Smash Boom Best? Yes. Okay, drum roll please. And the winner is Stitch. My career is over. Um, I've never been so heartbroken in my whole life. Oh man. Well Frankie, please tell us what was the thing that pushed it over the edge for you? Um, it was really tied between the first and last one. Oof. Um, because they were both really good and it was just honestly like the flip of a coin for me.

And sometimes it was just really hard and I had to pick one. Yeah. Uh and I think I was I was struggling a lot with the um sneak attack. Oof. Um because um I like both of your voices a lot. And I think I just liked Elvis Stitch singing more. So this was so much fun debating with you, Peter. Yes, your Yoda was fantastic. And I was terrified when you brought out the Weird Al Yoda song because I just I had no counter for that and I didn't know you were if you were gonna bring it up.

And you did and and really that that shook me. That shook me like a photon torpedo going into a a ventilation shaft.

Serious design flaw. Yeah. Sam, I am humbled. Incredible work. I must say the thing that really got me uh is yes. You know, Stitch is an agent of chaos, but ultimately he tears apart our expectations so that he can bring us all together. And that's what you've done today here. I'm shattered by the law. But I've gained a new family and for that I am grateful. Oh beautiful. Don't stitch the smash boombas. who you think won. This episode was produced by me Mark Sanchez.

Our announcer is Marley Foyerworker Auto, and we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Peter, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout-out to today? I would like to give band director from high school and uh also the story pirate. And how about you Sam? Any special shout-outs? Yeah, I'm gonna give a special shout-out. My favorite Yoda.

Oh. And how about you, Frankie? Any special thanks? My dad for picking me up from school early to come here um and recording Uh my sister. Happy to come to this debate and she'll be very happy to see that Situan. My friend Nate, who's a Star Wars fan, is gonna kill me when I tell him. Dad daddy, you're I I like to think my family Before we go, let's check in and see who Harriet thinks should win the land versus sea debate. Humans haven't discovered yet. Humans haven't discovered.

Or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate, head to smashboom.org slash contact and drop us a line. And if you're a fan of And want to keep it going, head to smartypass.org to subscribe. We'll be back next week with a new Smash Boom Best episode Bass Verse. Baths. Bye. May the force Well, I just wanna say fun fact, I also have a freckle in the back of my eye. Uh just so we can freckle in. I also have a freckle in my eye. The camera's off, right?