From the brains behind Brains On, it's Smash Boom Best. The show for people with big opinions. Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate features two powerful planets in a cosmic clash. It's Mars versus Saturn. We've got brains on editor Sandin Totten ready to rep the red planet for Team Mars.
Look up! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Earth's ruddy buddy, Mars, here to shoot for the stars. And astronomer Mark Poppinchok will glimmer for the gassy giant, Saturn. Ring-a-din-din, Saturn is going to win. And here to judge it all is Coralie from Georgia. Coralie has four younger siblings, loves to sing in her choir, and spends most of her time writing fantasy and fiction stories. Hi, Coralie. Hi, Molly.
So Coralie, is it really true that you've already written three books? Yes, it's true. I really don't know exactly how I got it done, but I'm writing more every day. Wow, that's incredible. So like how much time do you spend writing every day? A lot. I write about as much as I read, which is about an hour every day. So, yeah. Super inspiring. So can you tell us what the books are about? Are they part of a series or are they each like an individual book?
They're part of a series, and it's fantasy, so the main character is a horse named Stormchaser, and... There's these bad guys that are trying to take over the world. You know, typical fantasy. And they go on a quest to save the world. But he has anxiety. So he finds... These people in a ancient ruined city and they help him kind of conquer his fears. I love a relatable hero with a little bit of anxiety because who doesn't these days? So you're also in a choir.
What kind of songs does your choir sing? We sing all kinds, but I really like the contemporary choir songs. So like something a little not traditional, shake it up a little bit. So what's your favorite right now? I really like Shady Grove, which is a folk song that I sang for all state choir here in Athens. Nice. So do you have any feelings about Mars and Saturn already? I do a little bit. I actually have like two kind of experiences with Mars and Saturn. So for Mars, I am a gemstone nerd.
And one day I randomly had the question, can gemstones be found on Mars? So I looked it up and my favorite gemstone, opals, can be found on Mars. So I think that's really cool. And also... Saturn, it's one of the few planets that I've actually seen through a telescope.
That was just an amazing experience to look up and see the rings of Saturn. Amazing. And I know you've heard a lot of episodes of this show. So do you have any advice for our debaters today? The more fun facts, the better. I want to hear... all the information about both of these planets. Excellent advice. Will Coralie side with Sandin or Mark?
It's a mystery for the skies. Let's review the rules of the show before we get started. Every debate consists of four rounds. The Declaration of Greatness, the micro-round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Cora Lee, will award...
points, the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website smashboom.org and vote. for whichever team you think one. All right, Sandin, Mark, and Coralie, are you ready? Yes. Oh, yeah. I'm ready. Let's do this. Then it's time for the Declaration of Greatness.
In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin and Sandin, you're up first. Tell us what makes Mars so Marsnificent. When it comes to Mars, I think it's important to start at the beginning. Hello, mortals! Tis I!
Mars, God of War. A little birdie told me you were having a whole debate about me. That's so flattering. You know, not many people like war anymore, so it's nice to see that I still have fans. Oh, wow. This is awkward. Awkward? Piss posh! There's nothing awkward about a Roman god hanging out with a mortal discussing his favorite battle strategies. I like the cha-cha maneuver.
I remember this one time. I'm sorry, I'm going to cut you off right there, but this debate isn't about the god Mars. It's about the planet Mars. The space rock? It's a planet. Okay, well, does this planet have a super cool chariot that you can ride into battle? It has several rovers. You know, those cool robotic vehicles that humans sent to Mars on rocket ships?
You don't need a rocket ship to reach me. I'm very available. That's apparent, sir. Now, would you mind leaving so I can talk about the planet Mars? Yeah, whatever. As I was saying, when it comes to Mars, it's important to start at the beginning. If you didn't already know, Mars is one of the closest planets to Earth. It's like our special red neighbor. Humans are fascinated with Mars. And one of our most ambitious goals is flying there. Hello there, fellow mortal. Tis I.
Jars, not Mars. You can tell I'm different because I have a mustache. I was just talking with my mortal mother, and we were wondering why anyone would want to go to a planet named after a super cool deity in the first place. Well, um, jars. Mars, the planet, has so much to offer. By sending rovers there, we can study how it works and learn more about planets in the process.
It's got epic features like red sand dunes and the biggest volcano in the solar system. And there might be microscopic living things there today. Or maybe there were some in the past. I mean, just imagine. What if we discovered that Earth wasn't the only place in the solar system with living things? Mind blown, right? Wow. That's a really frustrating list. Anyway, I gotta go plan my funeral, because like I said, I am definitely a mortal. Toodaloo! Wow.
Some people really can't take a hint. Anyway, Mars the planet has been inspiring people for centuries. And don't take my word for it. Just ask ancient astronomer Ptolemy. That's right. That's... that's incredible. But you don't need to read a scientific manual to learn about Mars. Because this planet is the backdrop for tons of awesome science fiction. That's why we know about so many cool fictional Martians. Sometimes they're scary.
Like in War of the Worlds and Mars Attacks. Run for your life! It's a bunch of Martians! Other times, they're fun. Like in Looney Tunes. Laugh for your life! It's a bunch of Martians! Humans are so fascinated with Mars that NASA is planning to send people there and even set up bases. Just imagine, a decade from now, Humans could be living on Mars and maybe someday using it as a launch pad to explore the rest of space. Whoa, that's wild. Oh, hey, I'm back and definitely still mortal.
Mars is constantly teaching us about planets, about space, about our solar system. It sparked our imaginations and given us loads of stories to entertain us for generations. And it sparked our curiosity and inspired us to do amazing scientific feats. And someday, humans might be living on its red.
rocky surface plus it was named after a really cool guy with a great chariot who we should be really nice to you know what you are correct Because whether you're talking about an awesome planet or a rad Roman god, Mars is an incredible friend we should all adore. Wow. How amazing you're able to book that cool mortal jars for your declaration of greatness. He just showed up. I'm not exactly sure who checks the security at this studio. People just coming and going.
Incredible. Coralie, what stood out to you about Sandin's Declaration of Greatness? I really liked the point that was made about the science fiction. Mars is a very inspiring planet, I will say that. Also... Reaching Mars, that would just be so cool. It could happen in your lifetime. You could be on one of those ships. And yeah, it's like, it is a...
Great place for science fiction. From the early days when, you know, people looked up and thought they saw canals and wrote all about a Martian civilization to just a couple years ago when we had that book, The Martian, where they were going... Potatoes with human poop on a planet. I mean, that's just wild fantasy right there. If you like fantasy, Mars is your planet. All right, Mark, it is time for your rebuttal.
Tell us why Mars is bizarre. You've got 30 seconds and your time starts now. Look, I'm not going to deny that Mars has some great fiction.
But it's time for some faction, okay? Because the truth of the matter is, if you're trying to live on Mars, you're going to have a tough... time the soil on the ground is actually toxic to humans and all the water that happens on its surface is also going to have those toxic chemicals in it as well so it's going to be a tough time and i like the idea of all the cool features that are on the surface
But I've seen better features on a slice of salami. Mars is not nearly as interesting. And time. So you bring a water filter to Mars. Brita, you know, the Martian variety. No big deal. Also, salami is beautiful. All those little shapes and colors in there. I could get lost in a slice of salami. All right, Mark, it is your turn. Please tell us why Saturn slays. I'm not going to make a declaration of greatness.
I'm going to make a declaration of victory. Because if you ask me, this contest was over before it even began. It doesn't matter if it's Mars or Jupiter or any planet in our solar system. Saturn has them all beat for one simple reason. Rings. Rings represent greatness. Rings are worn by kings and queens, by champion athletes, by winners. And you're stepping into the ring with a planet that has all the rings.
More rings than any hobbit. The Shire. More rings than Beyonce. More rings even than Michael Jordan. Saturn rings are over 45,000 miles wide. That's basically the same as lining up 10 Earth side by side. So give it up to the unpassable giant of gas. The one. The only. Saturn! Saturn is one of the largest planets in our solar system. It's made of mostly gas, and of course, it has an incredible ring system, mostly made of ice. That's right.
Its rings are made of ice! If you need more convincing that Saturn's rings are stupendous, well then let me tell you about the first person to ever see them, one of the greatest scientists of all time, Galileo. Galileo was one of the first people to turn a telescope towards the sky, over 400 years ago.
He looked at the moon and was the first to see craters on the lunar surface. He looked at Jupiter and was the first to see moons orbiting it. But when he turned his telescope to Saturn, he had no idea what he was seeing. He wrote in his notebook, And that means, what? Saturn has ears? Saturn's rings are so unusual, they stupefied the original scientist. I remember being similarly astounded by them. In college, I used to invite my friends to come by and see the beautiful rings using a telescope.
Most planets look like little circles. But when I first looked at Saturn, I could see with my own eyes details on a planet almost a billion miles away. I felt transported there, and I always found it hard to stop looking. And there's still more to discover about this amazing planet. since Saturn keeps revealing the coolest, strangest, most iconic features. It has over 140 moons. It has winds up to 1,000 miles per hour.
It even has a storm at its north pole in the shape of a hexagon, as if some giant bee was making a honeycomb there. Saturn is named after the Roman god Saturn, and the Romans also named their favorite holiday after it too. Saturnalia was a whole week of celebrations. I bet you listeners would love to take a week off and spend all your time celebrating Saturn. But don't worry, you're actually celebrated every week, on the best day of the week, Saturday.
Or really, Saturn Day. It's the best day sharing a name with the best planet. So now you see what I see. Saturn has the rings to ring every bell. Has been wowing astronomers for hundreds of years. and it celebrates the weekend with us every Saturday. Give it up for Saturday! Wow, that argument left me as happy as a Saturday night. Carly, what stood out to you about Mark's declaration of greatness? I liked the points.
about the rings and I think it's cool that they're made of ice and also well I've seen like drawings of Saturn with the hexagon storm at the top and I always thought that that was just really cool and also Mention of Lord of the Rings. I like that. Very nice. All right, Santa, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why Saturn stinks. You've got 30 seconds, and your time starts now.
Oh yeah, you like Lord of the Rings? Mars has the biggest volcano in the solar system, Mordor much? And you could never go and visit those cool features on Saturn, but you could maybe one day walk on Mars and stroll the sand dunes. Plus, it's a planet populated entirely by...
robots right now, which both is really cool and shows you how much Mars has challenged humans to do our best and come up with cool technologies. Plus, what's with all those rings, Saturn, compensating much? Because if we took that away, you're just little bitty junior Jupiter. You're not even that special. Just another gas giant. And time.
If you want to talk about junior planets right now, you got to watch out because we're not even in the same weight class. Saturn is a thousand times more massive than Mars. This isn't a size competition. Is it?
I probably would have picked a different planet. If you put Mars next to Saturn, it would be the same, like, close to similar size to one of the moons. Like, Titan, its biggest moon, that's closer to size than Mars than it is to Saturn. And why so many moons? Over 140? You know, Mars, we just have two.
You need one and a backup one in case the first one goes down. That's it. What Mars did is capture two potato-shaped rocks from outer space and is calling them moons. They are embarrassments to the name moon. You are insulting potatoes, sir. One of my favorite foods. Potatoes, cook them, mash them, put them in a stew. Lord of the Rings reference.
Honestly, could listen to you two talk about planets all day. But Coralie, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the declaration of greatness that you like best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic absolutely astonishing? Award your points but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision? Yes, I have.
Excellent. Mark and Sandin, how are you two feeling so far? I'm feeling like I'm coming in with a lot of aggression, and so I'm just going to have to ride that wave to the end. So Sandin, please don't take it personally. Mars, you definitely should, because I'm coming. I feel like Mark Watney in The Martian, you know, standing on a planet, a little trepidatious, but also I can like bounce around because it's one third the gravity. It's pretty cool.
Does that make any sense? Should I do that again? I enjoyed it. I'm feeling excited, Molly. All right, it's time for a quick break, rev up your rover, and polish your rings. And we'll be right back with more Smash Boom Best. You're listening to State of Debate, home to raging rhetoric and awe-inspiring argumentation.
Hey there, debate-anistas. Taylor Lincoln here. I'm back from Paris Fashion Week, and I'm très excited to be here with the cashmere to my sweater, Todd Douglas. Welcome back, Taylor. So great to see you. Have you done something new to your hair? It's called a side mullet. And it was all the rage on the runway. I did it myself on the plane trip home. Hmm. Shaved on one side and a full head of hair on the other. Very fashion forward.
Merci. Any fallacy-related incidents happen while I was away? Oh, and how. Have I got an appeal-to-emotion fallacy for you. Ooh, appeal to emotion is when someone tries to win an argument by playing on your emotions, like fear or envy or pity, instead of using facts. Exactly. And this one might just appeal to your sense of style. and debate. Hey, Sim. Hey, Brave. Looking good as always. Check out my new necklace bling. Wow, that's so shiny. Nice. It's by the designer Lamarney.
They're so hot right now. You know, you could really up your fashion game if you started wearing a Le Marnay necklace yourself. Necklaces are cool, but I'm more of a sneaker head. You do you, though. But you have to agree, necklaces are better. Les Marnés would be so sad if they heard you talking about their chosen art form like that. And a sad Les Marnés is a pitiful thing to see. So just admit, necklaces are better, okay? Someone call the fallacy and fashion police.
Touché, Taylor. It sounds like Braith is trying to play on Sim's emotions to get them to agree to their point. That argument makes about as much sense as stripes and plaids. No way. Speaking of style, have you thought about giving your hairdresser a call? You know, just for a touch-up? No. We'll see you next time on Speak of Debate.
Brains on Universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of Smash Boom Best, we know you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on, let's explore. Smash Boom Best. I'm their biggest fan. I also love Brains On, a fun science podcast for kids. Listen, I will play you Brains On. You will. Today, we're going to turn our attention to bloodsuckers that do exist.
Some of them you've probably heard of, like mosquitoes, ticks, and lice. But others might surprise you. Like, did you know that some birds drink blood? Zorp! Where did the signal go? Must- Listen to Brains On wherever you get your podcasts. Smash. Boom. You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom. And I'm your judge, Coralie. And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this mythical debate idea from Ethan and Leo. My name is...
Ethan. And my name is Leo. And we're from Chicago, Illinois. My debate idea is basilisks versus chimeras. Basilisks versus chimeras. Killer debate idea. We'll check back in. at the end of this episode to see which side Ethan and Leo think should win. And now it's back to our debate. Mars versus Saturn. That's right. And it's time for round two, the micro round.
For the micro-round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Sandin and Mark, the prompt was... Spa day. We asked the debaters to walk us through a spa inspired by their side and tell us why their planet is the best place to get some TLC. Sandin went first last time, so Mark, you're up. Tell us how to soothe our souls with your Saturn.
Inspired Spa. Enjoy a spa day. The Saturn way. With over 140 moons, Saturn has a spa experience for everyone. Lunar luxury. You've heard of weight loss? No, no, not here. Instead, try weightlessness. On the moon minus the gravity is 1% that of Earth. All your worries will feel lighter. Minimal gravity. Minimal worries. Need to cool off? Or sit in a steamy sauna? Head to the moon Enceladus, where you can cool yourself on the icy surface.
then ride a geyser down to a heated saltwater ocean conveniently located under 10 miles of ice. A water park and a spa. Looking for a new kind of hydration? Try Saturn's moon Titan, where instead of boring old water, the lakes are filled with beautifying methane and ethane. Hydrocarbons are great for the skin. And don't worry.
Saturn is also able to get in on the relaxation, as it's the only planet so light it would float in water if you had a bathtub big enough for it. It would take 150 Earths and 100,000 oceans to fill up this hypothetical bathtub. So head out into the outer solar system. Stop worrying about that thing and just take in the rings. Enjoy a spa day. The Saturn.
Wow, it sounds like my ideal spa because I love spas that come with lots of whispering. I can't wait. All right, Sandin, it is your turn to lead us through your Mars-themed spa. Look at you. You're tired. You're haggard. It's been a long week. No, it's been a long life. You need some you time. You need Red Planet Oasis. Just hop into our patented Serenity spaceship and travel the itty-bitty 140 million miles to Mars.
Once there, you'll find priceless amenities like our galactic mineral bath filled with ample amounts of magnesium, aluminum, titanium, and iron. all of the chemical elements needed to detoxify and renew your sense of self. Or scrub away your troubles with our sandstone massage. It'll melt away your tension and make your problems disappear. Then bask in the rejuvenating powers of our popular Martian mineral mud wrap, inspired by the rich red soils of the Martian landscape.
If you haven't covered your body in volcanic clay, which can reduce inflammation, prevent infection, and improve skin elasticity, well, then you haven't lived. Is it time to return to Earth? No, no. Not before you step into our rover rain shower, which delicately cleanses your weary skin with a cascade of polar permafrost ice crystals. Ah, a refreshing end to your luxurious Mars-spirience. So, we'll see you at the Red Planet Oasis, where earthly stress meets...
Martian tranquility. And there's no rings on our tub, I'll just say. We clean them good. I mean, seriously, book me a ticket on that spaceship. I need some relaxation. And that sounds amazing. All right, Coralie, what did you like about Sandin and Mark's micro rounds? I liked the moon theme where it's like a spa for every moon. And also the red planet oasis, the mud.
And all the minerals that can be found in it. That sounds very luxurious. Sounds incredible. Again, just to clarify, lots of toxins in there as well. I mean, to be fair, I don't think either planet would really be a great place to relax. True. All right, Coralie, it is time to award a point. The criteria are completely subjective and completely up to you. Did one of these spas sound like a place you'd want to visit? A relaxing spot? Did they sneak in some facts? Have you made your...
decision? Yes, I have. Then it's time for our third round of the super stealthy Sneak Attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called the old switcheroo. In this challenge, each debater will be asked to read a paragraph about the other side, but every time Sandin reads a word that starts with the letter S for Saturn, they have to switch the letter to an M.
for Mars. And every time Mark reads a word with the letter M for Mars, he'll have to switch the letter. to an S for Saturn. So, for example, if Sandin was up and the sentence was, Saturn is a stupendous planet, Sandin would have to say, Mattern is a metupendous planet. Does that make sense, debaters? Mandon is mooper ready to do this, Molly. So is Sark. Perfect. Well.
Here we go, debaters. We're going to start with Sandin. Let's hear you do the old switcheroo reading a paragraph about Saturn with every S word switched to an M word. Okay. You got this, Mandan. Okay. Mattern is named after the Roman god Mattern. And the Romans also named their favorite holiday after it, too. Maternalia was a whole week of celebrations. I bet you listeners would love to take a week off and mend all of your time celebrating matern.
But don't worry, you actually already melibrate it every week. Celebrate it. Oh, shoot, this, you got me. On the best day of the week, Matter Day. Or really... Mattern Day. It's the best day pairing a name with the best planet. All mucks. Wonderful job. Some tricky C's in there. All right, Mark, it's your turn. Let's hear you do the old switcheroo, turning all the M words in this paragraph to words that start with S. Okay.
SARS the planet has so such to offer. By sending rovers there, we can study how it works and learn SOAR about planets in the process. It's full of resources we could use more of on Earth. And there say be psychroscopic things there today. Imagine how such it would change the world to discover Earth isn't the only place with living, soothing...
things. Sagnificent. A wonderful job. I think there was one more that snuck through the cracks there. Corley, it's time to award your fourth point, but don't tell us who it's going to. Have you made your decision? Yes, I think I have. Perfect. Then it's time for our final round. The final six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Mark, let's hear your six words for stupendous Saturn. Beautiful rings, most moons, pick Saturn.
Very nice. Sandin, it is your turn. Tell us about the many wonders of Mars. Robots? Water? Life? This rock rocks. Excellent work. All right, Coralie, it is time to award a final point for this final six. Have you made your decision? Yes, it was very hard. Oh my goodness. But I have made my decision. All right, tally up those points. Are you ready to crown one team the smash boom best? Yes, I am.
Drumroll, please. And the winner is... Mars. Whoa! Oh my gosh, I am blushing red just like this because of Mars right now. Wow, Coralie, what was your favorite moment of the debate? It all came down to the final six. Ugh. that final six. And I really like the point about water and potentially life because as a writer, that just gets my imagination very excited about the possibilities. So was it tied up until the final six?
It was. Oh, my goodness. As close as close can be. Mark, big fan here. I love you on Moment of Um. Mark, you did a great job representing Saturn. I love Saturn, too. It is such a cool planet. And I was just reading that Mars might have... rings in 50 billion years or so when its two moons might smash into each other. And I was just going to try to bring that up. And I was like, even if they did, they wouldn't be as cool as Saturn's rings because it's just.
iconic, a style goddess for the solar system. You know, Saturn is just amazing. So you represented it well. Thanks very much, Sandin. I appreciate that. Sandin, you did a great job bringing out the fantasy and the fiction that...
goes around with Mars, and it really is such an inspiring object. The idea that humans might be able to get there at some point is obviously such a cool concept, and you couldn't really stand on the surface of Saturn, it's true. You would get squished along the way, and you can't make stories about squishes. people. And so I do think you did a great job bringing in the kind of inspiration that Mars brings. Have you heard of Flat Stanley?
Well, that's it for today's debate battle. Coralie crowned Mars the Smash Boom Best, but what about you? Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won. Smash Boom Best is brought to you by Brains On and APM Studios. It's produced by me, Molly Bloom. Anna Wegel and Aron Wolveselassi. We had engineering help from Gary O'Keefe, Haviva Saltz and Michael Osborne with sound design by Anna Wegel. Our editors are Shayla Farzan and Sandin Todd.
And we had production help from the rest of the Brains on Universe team. Rosie DuPont. Rachel Breeze. Anna Goldfield. Nico Gonzalez-Whistler. Ruby Guthrie. Lauren Humpert. Jess Miller. Joshua Ray. Mark Sanchez. And Charlotte Traver. Our executive producers, Beth Perlman, and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marlene Foyerworker Otto, and we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Sandin, is there any...
Anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today? I want to give a shout out to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory here in Pasadena because they used to let me come up there and ask them questions about Mars all the time when I was a science reporter. And shout out to Arun Moldesolasi and Anna Wegel who helped supply me with facts.
jokes and ideas for this great debate. And how about you, Mark? Any special shout outs? Yeah. Saturn has a moon called Enceladus and I also know a cat called Enceladus too. So shout out to that cat and also my nibbling. If you're listening, uncle says hi. And how about you, Corey?
Shirley, any special thanks or shout outs? I would like to thank my dad and I'd like to thank the rest of my family and all the people who've helped me with my stories and my chorus teachers for helping me do Allstate. Wonderful. Before we go, let's check in and see who Ethan and Leo think should win the Basilisks vs. Chimeras debate. Basilisks who would win because they can petrify you with their stare and have huge poisonous fangs.
13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knockdown dragout debate, head to smashboom.org slash contact and drop us a line. And make sure to subscribe to Brains on Universe on YouTube, where you can watch animated versions. of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a new Smash Boom Best Debate Battle next week. Ta-ta! Adios! Bye now! Mia Nader! Mars has water like my grandfather has hair on his head, as in there's not much on top.