Camping vs Hotels

From the brains behind brains on, it's Smash Boom Best. The show for people with big opinions. Hi, I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Boom Best. The show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Picture this. You've got a vacation coming up and you have to decide where to sleep. Under the stars in a tent or on a mattress in a suite. That's right.

We are doing camping versus hotels. Counselor for Team Camping, it's artist and my husband, Andy Duset. Pitch a tent in your heart. And checking in for Team Hotels, it's my dad, Stuart Bloom. Bloom! Hotels. What else? So you both have known for some time how strongly the other person feels about their side, right? Has this come up between you before? Uh well, let me just say that you love people because of things and sometimes you love people in spite of

things. I was also told that they love that I love camping. Someone does. And you don't make us go with you. Don't make you go with you. Thank God. Well this is gonna be very fun to hear to help judge this one. This one we've got Evelyn from Ontario, California. Evelyn is captain of her school's improv team. She loves theater and she's as at home at rock shows as she is at a rock climbing gym. Welcome, Evelyn. Hi!

Hi guys, it's nice to meet you. We are so happy to have you. So, Evelyn, what shows have you been in lately? I mean, just last week we closed out a show uh spreading awareness on climate change. So that was actually really cool. That is really cool. Yeah. And where does your improv team perform? Uh we perform at Claremont High School.

Uh, and we actually have an upcoming match this Friday. So woo woo, that's pretty exciting. What is your favorite improv game? My favorite improv game is this one called Survivor and it's pretty loosely based off of Survivor the TV show. So you have your four players, like usually just on one like color team, right?

and you play through a one minute scene and then the ref will blow their whistle and then go through every single player who just played and basically say, You clap for everybody, but clap the loudest for the person who you want out. And slowly their numbers dwindle until it's just one person playing four people in one scene. And it's so fun if you get to be that last person'cause you get to do really funny impressions of all your teammates.

That does sound super fun. Yeah. So as an improviser, what advice do you have for our debaters today? Hmm. Okay. I would say Remember what's in your heart, whether it's hotels or camping, and uh just just don't lose sight of your end goal. That's my advice. Very very good advice. In my heart is mostly blood right now. I think it's just kinda. Well, that's that's good. That's good. You should have blood and hotels in your heart today. Okay, okay. I do.

Will Evelyn decide to go camping or hit up a hotel? The answer awaits, but first here are the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four rounds, the Declaration of Greatness, the Micro Round, the Sneak Attack, and the Final Six. After each round, our Judge Evelyn will award points to the team that impresses her the most, but she'll keep her decisions top secret until the

the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org, and vote for whichever team you think won. Okay, Andy. Stuart and Evelyn, are you ready? I'm ready. Y y Yes Well I'd like to take a cleansing breath first, but okay.

Then it's time for the Declaration of Great. In this round, our debaters will present a well-crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have thirty seconds to rebut their opponent's statement. We flipped a coin and dad, you're up first. Give us your five-star review for hotels. Imagine you've been traveling all day. Your clothes are wrinkled, your legs feel like jelly.

And let's not talk about your body odor. You wish you could just curl up in a cocoon and emerge the next day fresh and new. And that's when you see. A hotel. Checking in. The pampering begins. Someone grabs your bag. An elevator whisks you away to your room where there's a big Beef. Or cable news. Wait, definitely not that one. Cool off by cranking the AC and when it's time to sleep, you flap. Bad fit for a king. That's why it's called king sized. Because at hotels,

If you like to travel, then you absolutely need hotels. Where else are you gonna sleep? A campsite? Try finding one of those in the bustling city you've been dreaming of visiting all your life. Plus, you want to be comfortable. That's why for centuries weary wanderers have found rest in hotels or roadside inns. The oldest hotel in the world is in Japan. It's the Nishiyama on Sen Ki Unkandi.

And it's been around for about 1300 years, thanks to its incredible omatanashi. It means top-notch hospitality and anticipating the guests' every need. And uh speaking Hotels are more than a place to sleep and Food. Room service. Your steak and shake are here. Or you can hit the gym. Something like seeing the world and doing bicep curls.

And two and three. Sometimes there's a pool and a hot tub, and even a spa. And those are just the basics. There are also hotels on the beach, or up in trees, or made of ice. There's even a hotel that's home to a herd of giraffes. You can splurge and stay at a fancy place, or go cheap and just get a good night's rest. But whatever you choose, rest easy knowing you're also helping the local economy. Really cool attraction. Sure. Or a super cool water park.

Imagine you want Experience So you build a hotel. money in your town. Those vending machines. Let's go. Tourism and it's super important to so much. And without hotels, let's go. A lot harder to do that. Wow, I really want to see that ball of twine at the water park. Place to spend the night. I guess I'll just stay home and watch paint dry instead. That's grim. So if you're looking to go on an adventure,

Contribute to an interesting economy and receive world-class hospitality, then ring that front desk bell and bing book a room at a hotel. Checking in? Of course.

A hospitable and heartfelt argument there for hotels. Evelyn, what struck a chord with you about that declaration of greatness? Okay, personally, I'm a guy who loves showers. Okay. And so I think the you stink argument did stick out to me. So that's that's a big thing. Um I also uh this is this is nitpicky, but I really like steak and I don't know if I'm getting steak at a campsite. So I I I think the steak thing definitely stuck out to me as well.

Stake and stink at the top of the list. All right, Andy, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why the sweet life isn't so sweet. You got thirty seconds, and your time starts now. The last hotel my family was at had a repairman in that hotel room for about the same amount of time that we were in that hotel room, and the TV didn't even work after that. Nature rarely breaks. You're never gonna have an unwatchable sunset.

Also you have AC, beds, TVs, all those things at home. And also I heard someone mention steak. The best steak I've ever had in my life is on a hot cast iron skillet. Dad, anything you'd like to say? Just the idea of the repairman sitting, you know, like on his hands and knees, just just was enough to to make me stop listening to everything else you said. All right, there is a lot to unpack already in this debris.

Okay, it's time for Andy, my husband, to do his declaration. Andy, tell us why you're always amped to camp. I'll admit it, hotels seem like a fun idea at first. Eating room. Bed with an ocean view, free tiny shampoos. But in reality, hotels usually don't live up to the hype. Like the last one I stayed at. Ah Hotel Suite Hotel Oh This looks a lot smaller than the pictures. Well, that's okay. Because check out this view Uh Th the the parking lot.

Maybe I'll just order some room service. Avocado toast for forty dollars? Salt not included? Come on! I need to lay down. Is that mysterious thing shaped like Australia? Gross! Okay, obviously that's not every hotel, but how many times have you been let down by one? They're always selling you this over-the-top life of luxury. But so often you're just paying top dollar to stay in a soulless, beige box with crooked pictures and a continental breakfast.

that's from the continent of boring. Camping, on the other hand, delivers on its promises. It promises nature. It promises adventure. It promises fresh air and a chance to use cool tools and explore. And as for sleep, well, believe it or not, I've had some of the best sleep of my life in a sleeping bag. And you can't beat waking up to the sounds of birds and some bacon and eggs on the morning campfire.

All while looking out at a stunning view of a lake. Ah, it's so peaceful. But Andy, aren't you like? Sleeping on the ground? Yeah, with no showers or toilets or anything. Ugh. Whoa, who let these grumps in? First off, like hotels, there's a range of camping experiences. You can camp from the back of your car or in a tent, where you might sleep on a mat with a sleeping bag or even in a special hammock. Hmm, I do like hammocks.

Or you can camp in an RV or camper van. Those have fold out beds. Or if you're feeling fancy, you can go glamping. That's glam camping, which can have cots or bunk beds. And sometimes they're in awesome places, like yurts or even tree houses. Sleeping is always better when it's in a tree. Yeah, you get it. And to be clear, most campsites have toilets and many have showers.

But if you want to go extreme camper mode somewhere super remote, you can bring a shovel and some toilet paper. See? Adventure. There's a huge range of experiences, and it's way cheaper than staying in hotels. Tent campsites can cost as little as twenty bucks a night. Whoa, that's like half a slice of one room service avocado toast. Yeah, but toast is incredible. Speaking of eating, is camping food any good? Any good.

It can be as good as a regular dinner at home, but with the best seating around, next to a river, around a roaring fire, in a comfy campchair with the steam from your meal rising into a star-filled sky. You can cook over the fire on a metal grate, use a portable camping cook stove with pots and pans, or even get pre-made meals that all you have to do is add hot water to.

The true magic of eating while camping is that no matter what the food is, it always tastes better when you're eating it outside. But there's more to camping than just eating and sleeping. You also learn really valuable skills and use really cool tools, like how to cut wood with a hatchet and build a fire, or setting up a tent, or top-tier marshmallow roasting techniques on a stick you carved with a knife.

Plus, camping allows you to completely immerse yourself in nature, from hiking, to kayaking, to simply reading a book near some really chill trees. Spending time in nature is scientifically proven to reduce stress and anxiety, as well as improve memory and creativity. In Japan, they call it forest bathing. And for many, it's a key part of a healthy, happy lifestyle. It does feel good to unplug. And I do like the idea of taking a bath in a forest. Let's go camping!

Yay! Great choice. Hotels? More like no tells. When it comes to adventure, connecting with nature, mastering cool skills, and not sleeping in someone else's bed, it's gotta be camping.

Andy showing us there's smore to camping than we might think. Oh. Oh yeah. All right, Dad, you got thirty seconds to vent about life in a tent. And your time starts? Now. Did you listen to what he just said? I mean, the first part of it was an ad for hotels. They're comfortable and wonderful.

And you know and he said, How many times has a hotel let him down? How many times has it let me down? Never, never, never, never, never every n I I love hotels. They're amazing. He didn't even start talking about camping until he was halfway done. And did uh let me clarify something. Did he say yertz? The word yertz? Yes he did. You could camp in yertz. Um it y takes a special Andy, anything you'd like to say?

I think my declaration speaks for itself, and I'll mention the mysterious Australia-shaped stain in someone else's bed. Well what are your What is a yertz? Am I wearing one right now? Do I do I break out in yertzes? Do I got do I go on medication for yertzes? What are yertzes? A yurt is a fancy tent like structure that you get to sleep in that's made of maybe animal skin or a canvas. Evelyn It is time to award some points. Please give one point.

To the declaration of greatness that you liked best, and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's descriptions paint a vivid picture? Did another team's reasoning reign supreme? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Evelyn, have you made your decision? Yes, I have. Excellent. Andy and Dad, how are you two feeling so far? I I'm I'm feeling that our relationship will withstand this.

I couldn't agree more, but I'm also feeling a little itchy from those last hotel sheets I slept in. Oh my god. But he was itchy before he went into bed. You don't need to mention that part. Yeah, no, there's a certain hygiene. Okay. For a quick break. Put out the do not disturb sign and close up those tent flaps. And we'll be right back with my Your list. To raging rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation.

Hello my debate darlings, I'm 457-time debate coach and cheerleader Todd Dutton. And I'm Taylor Lincoln, blah blah blah, you know the rest. Taylor, you okay, bud? What happened to your energy? Ugh, it's these gray skies. I just can't seem to wake up today. Oh, I know what'll wake you up. A giant logical fallacy using a rodent. I'm intrigued. It's the anecdotal evidence fallacy. Oh. That's when you use something that happened once to build a whole argument on. Bad idea. Let's take a listen.

Oh Phoebe, I'm I'm so glad I came. Nope, not again, Phil. Well I don't know if you heard. Don't wanna hear it. But I stepped outside today? Please don't. And I saw my show. Definitely gonna snow tomorrow. Might wanna snuggle into your burrow. are groundhogs, not meteorologists. Well last week I saw my shadow and then the next day See? My shadow knows all. Just because that happened once. You tell him, Phoebe. That woke me right up.

Way to call out that fallacy. Yeah, I'm pretty sure shadows have to do with the angle of light, not a weather forecasting tool. My sinus headaches, on the other hand. And that's all the time we have for today, on.

You're listening to Smash Boom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom. And I'm your judge, Evelyn. And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Here's a sweet treat to argue over. Suggestion it's These versus milkshakes. Two delicious drinks, one totally strawsome debate. We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Juliet thinks should win. And now, this debate is still going strong. Back to camping versus home.

Let's move on to round two, the Micro round. Andy and Dad, you will each get three chances to make a micro-argument backed by a cool fact. Dad, you went first last, so Andy, you're gonna start this time. Give us your first fact in support of camping. If you like gear, camping has some really cool gear, from mini stoves you could fit in a pocket to tents that hang between trees like a hammock. If you're not into putting up a tent, there's ones that self inflate.

There's even water bottles that can filter lake water so you can literally drink the great outdoors. Hotel gear is what? An itchy towel and a pen to sign for that expensive bill? Okay, uh I have to shift into a different gear to rebut that. But um One thing you won't see camping is dinosaurs or robots. But in Japan there is a hotel that's run partially by dinosaurs and robots, or more specifically, human and dinosaur like robots.

Is it weird? Oh yes. Unnecessary? Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Do I want to stay there? Oh yes! And are there yurts? No yurts! Okay, one, we haven't gotten to the bottom of what a yurt is exactly in everyone's mind. And two, in this age of AI running rampant, do we really need to go to a place controlled by robots? Or do we need to go back to a place that's untethered

From our robo overlord. You've always been concerned about the robot rebellion. I have. Thank you. And and I just I happen to trust the robots. Um, for the most part, uh especially if they could tell me what a yurt is, I would be very excited to talk to a robot. So hotels with robots are fine and all, but I think we really need to get back to our non robot roots, especially if robots are serving cold breakfast buffet? No thanks.

I'll take camp food, belief by many to taste better because it's cooked over a fire. Fires can char food in a way that creates more complex flavors, plus cooking on the fire releases all kinds of smells that can enhance the experience. The host of this very show, a noted non camper, once while camping, the first time with me, looked up at the stars from her freshly cooked hot dog and potatoes and said.

Oh I get it. Yeah. Um d that that's a real winning argument to smell like a skunk before you eat something. That's that's very that sounds delicious. Who mentioned skunk? You did, you whipped it. Just you'll listen. When you hear the whole episode, you'll hear you say skunk.

Um and we c which is not appetizing. Not in a negative way. It's a cute little skunk. That's why he likes camping. He gets to see skunks. I don't know what he's talking about with a cold breakfast. The the hotels that I've been at that that come with with breakfast, have piles of bacon. Sweet, delicious, savory, salty bacon is there. And sometimes they even have like Belgian waffles or French croissants, or Italian frosted flakes.

Okay, not Italian frosted flakes. Okay, not that. But if you want a breakfast buffet while camping You know, you have to s you're confronted but with the smell of a skunk and grass. So it's uh I I I prefer the breakfast you get at a hotel. Yeah, hotel bacon is known to be of the highest quality.

quality that there is. And also the gentleman in the flip flops and still dripping wet uh swimsuit and no shirt who's reaching for that bacon with his arm pool water dripping into it. Is that part of the Well let me just tell you what how most people feel about bacon. Still good. But you know what's more captivating than that? And you know what's more captivating than a bad cable TV at a hotel? A campfire. It's the original must- C T V

Humans have been telling stories around a fire since forever, and you can think your deepest, most profound thoughts while watching one burn. The deepest you can get at a hotel is contemplating how many people slept in that bed before you got there.

Well the sheets are always clean and there's no smelling like a skunk when I'm in a hotel. That's very, very true. Um but the my final fact and this is a true one. You know, in in Little Mermaid you hear dialing it's better, life is better down where it's wetter, sung by a crab. Uh anyway, that's a famous line, but it could also be the motto of one of the many underwater hotels. Yes, I said underwater. Some hotels have rooms submerged in the ocean where you can see fish.

Swim past your windows. Now let's say you're camping and you see fish swim past your windows, you've been in a mudslider and at the bottom of a lake, so it's not very good. My one question would be in this economy? The wonderful thing about camping is it has access for everybody. Oh, that's true. Okay. Evelyn, what stood out to you in this micro round?

Okay, I think they're starting arguments for like geared like right towards me. Um because I wrote down for camping, I wrote down cool gear and then I wrote down cool gear again. Um because listen, I'm I'm a big cool gear guy. I think that's I that one caught my attention.

And uh I also wrote down Terminator. This is important because Dinosaurs and Robots, really cool, but I have seen the whole Terminator series and I know what happens. Okay. And you know where that's gonna go. I know where that's gonna go, right? But I do think a dinosaur and robot hotel is that that is that is a good hook. That's a good hook.

And also underwater hotels. That's pretty cool. I do like themed hotels. So I'm torn. I'm torn, guys. This is a tough one, but Evelyn, it's time to award a point. Don't tell us who it's going to. The criteria are totally subjective and totally up to you. Have you made your decision? Yeah, I think I have.

Excellent. Then let's move on to our third round, the super stealthy. Sneak attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Andy, Dad, your challenge is jingle all the way. You need to make up a little jingle, like the song from a commercial. Make it about your side and make it memorable. Okay, Dad, you're gonna go first. Let's hear a jingle for hotels.

There are no bugs in the hotel. There's nice, nice rugs in the hotel. You can sleep on a bed, but if you're outside You might feel like lead. Very good. Very good. I wish I had more time to come up with something a little bit. It was great. It was great. All right. Andy, let's hear your jingle for camping. Don't you wish you had crisp clean sheets? Not a bed where there's been lots of feats? How about a bag where you can lay your head? Sleep outside and not be dead you feel alive. Oh.

Oh boy. Two perfectly catchy jingles. Now, a sneak attack in the sneak attack. What? I want you to make a jingle against your opponent's side. Andy, you're gonna go first this time. I'd like to hear an anti Hotel jingle. Okay. Uh Hotel no tell hotel no tell Who's gonna stay not be not me? Why mona stay there not me hotel no tell.

You really uh occupied a new persona there. That was that was method action. I don't know what happened. It came from a deep place that's afraid of sleeping in other people's cheeks. I liked that rhythm. It was good. Yeah, Evelyn likes rock and roll. Okay. Dad, it is your turn. I would like to hear your jingle that's anti-camping. Room service just brought you ice cream like vanilla. If you were camping, you'd be chased by a gorilla.

The bugs are there, they're biting you all the time. Being in outdoors is such a crime. The end. I really like the emotion you portrayed in that jingle. That was so it wasn't manufactured. It was so full. That was good. Okay. Evelyn, it is time to award a point for this snake attack. It's a lot to consider. There were personas, there was heart, there was soul, there was rock and roll. Have you awarded your point?

Wonderful, then it's time for our final round. The final In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Dad, please give us six words that say, heck yeah, for hotels. Bug-free, comfortable, Skunkless. Yertless Sleepy I don't know where he went. Uh wonderful. Is that six? I don't know. So you know you were close. Some hyphens. Um, okay. Let's hear your six words that sum up the coolness of camping.

Like sleeping inside, but with stars. Oh okay. Very nice. All right. Evelyn, it is time to award a final point for this final six. Have you made your decision? Yes. Okay. Are you ready to declare one team the Smash Boom best? Yes. I just want to say Andy and my dad are holding hands like they are the final two at Miss America. It's really lovely. We love each other. When one of us wins, we both win. We love each other. Drum roll, please. And the winner is.

Oh that's great. My hands were so clammy, I'm sorry. I was so nervous. That's just that's just wrong. So Evelyn, was there a moment that really decided things for you? Okay, I think um I I love to cook. Um so I think like the cast iron, okay, the steak kinda got me, but I think the cast iron with the bacon as well, like that would just be so much fun. And also I love swimming in lakes. Like

Uh every time there's a pool at anybody's house, I jump into it always despite the temperature. Like I I love swimming, so I definitely feel like you know like

Somewhere like secluded, away from people, where I can like cook and swim and be with my family and have cool gear. That sold me. It's hard to argue with that. How ironic that my argument for hotels bacon pushed her over the top to camping. Oh my gosh, you never know. The cast iron. It's hard to compete with cast iron.

Stuart, I loved everything that you did today as your son-in-law, obviously. Uh of course you brought your trademark wit, your enthusiasm and extemporaneousness to talk about all the joys of hotels. Now just because I'm pro camping doesn't mean I'm anti hotel and for a lot of the reasons that you brought up, I deeply appreciate. Oh,

Well, listen, everybody who knows Andy is in love with him, including me. And so I you know, at first I was very, you know, pro hotel, but by the end I was into camping too. Let's be let's be honest. Shut up. I have to go camping now. Oh no, that's it. But it's hard out if there's bugs and I'll be chased by a gorilla. But you're gonna find out what a yurt is. Oh no, there's that. Finally. Nice.'Cause my name is Stewart. Stewart Bloom. Yes, it's a better name than Stewart. Stewart, that's it.

it for today's camping this match. To tell us who you This episode was produced by the Molly Bloom and Mark Sanchez. We had sound design by Mark Sanchez, and he also wrote our theme music. Wow, what a guy. We had engineering help from Jackson Vesley. Our announcer is Marley Foyer Worker Auto, and we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross. Andy, is there anyone? supported this incredible team of Smash Boom. and the broader brain.

So many high fives to you all for supporting this incredible team and to everyone. That has introduced someone to camping, you've given someone else a very special Oh, that's so nice. How about you, Dad? Any special shout outs? Echo everything. They said about everybody. So supportive of Smash Boom Bad. Shout out my long suffering wife Carolyn, who's been with me in many nights. And has never camped with me once. And how about you, Evelyn? Any special thanks? Uh yeah. Mr. Sanchez.

today I had a lot of fun and I got to skip part of my first period. Well you did a great job. Before we go, let's check in and see who Juliette thinks should win. Smoothies or milkshakes. And he put it then they're more nutritious. If you're between the ages of 13 and 18, Or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate, head to Smash. And if you're a fan of the show and want to keep it going, head to smartypass.org to subscribe. My dad and husband will thank you.

Next week with another. Has there ever been a situation where no one's been awarded a point? No. Okay, good. Right. Are these points purchasable? No. Okay. We don't bribe our judges. Why it was not bribery. It was just, you know, it's a little token of your affection. Exactly.