Hey, did you guys know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? Is that correct? Yeah, they dilate. Oh, that's incredible. You know the last thing to go through a bug's mind before it's your windshield? What? His asshole. Welcome to SmartLess. SmartLess SmartLess SmartLess SmartLess So, Will, you have expressed that you're not in a great mood today.
But it's surprising because it is our 200s, so it is caused for celebration. I had seen you both happy birthday, but it's not a birthday. Really, it's just a 200 celebration. I thought it is 200 celebration. You know what? It's a great day for us, and I got to remember I had a bit of an okay start, and then you have grumpy moments. And I just remember this thing, which is like just because you have a grumpy start, I mean you can't have a great finish.
That's right. We don't need a bumper sticker or anything. What about you just tell us what the problem is, and then we'll tell you your current look with your beanies and your beard look like you've got a million bumper stickers, and a lot of them say, co-exist with different on the back of your back. There's my bean in my beard, put you in a deeper bad mood in my Sally Jessie Raffa.
Yeah, because you know why? Because it puts you deeper into Vermont, okay? Yeah, no, it looks like you're from Seattle. If you could smell my patchouli right now. Willie, what's wrong? Yeah, tell us what happened. No, nothing, nothing. It's just been a lot of admin. And admin stuff gets me pissed, and because you both know.
You both know. No, not domestic, just work admin. And I have a certain way of like doing things, and then when people fuck it up, I'm like, my patience for stuff is like, I go, I go, oh, fucking, what, you've just, things got more money. Why didn't stuff just go the way you're like, let me, my thought. This is relatable complaints about having too much work. Is that what it is? Getting a lot of sympathy from the, no, no, these are relatable things about that.
Everybody has just life when life gets away, and you just go like, you know what I mean? Anyway, I get that way too. I get that way too when people can't like, yeah, inside you had, I'll walk into a room and I'll go, I don't know why she said that. And Scotty goes, you have to catch me way up. Yeah, like that's the first thing I'll say.
Yeah, so far ahead of my brain. And you just assume that everybody's in your brain. Yeah, and I suppose you all caught up. Can't they just read your mind? That's right. Yeah. Yeah, this is wonderful. It is. It's a great. Yeah, this is supposed to be a day of celebration. Can you believe we have 200 episodes? Does that mean that it's been 200 weeks since we debuted? Kind of. Is it clean math like that? I think it's a pretty clean math. What's a week? Yeah.
Does it feel like it's been 200? It does not. It does not. It feels like I've been doing it two weeks. It feels like 2000. Okay. Yeah, two weeks. 2000, 2000. So the math is tough for me, but it does that sort of correlates to what for years? Well, if it's one a week, right? Yeah, 52. And we've done 200, right? Yeah, it's four years. It's 200 weeks. Right? Yeah. Do you want me to keep saying, right? Is that not four years? Well, 208, 208.
Would it be four years? So in two more months, it'll be four years. So like, no, no, no, no, because 52 times four is is 90. What? No, 50 weight. You're really getting stumped on this. Wait, what's 52 times four? Oh my god. Eight, five times four. What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? Yeah. It's 208 men. Yeah, yeah. So we're not there yet, but soon it'll be four years, but we're 200.
Anyway, sorry, just real quick sidebar. Yeah. With you spending so much time away from home, you must be like you must be really building up a little stockpile of crusty socks. Am I right? Oh, yeah. No, I've got them all standing up. I've turned them into little side tables. Sure. Yeah. It's it's quite a collection. You know, for socks.
By the way, have we heard it this we don't need to get too blue, but I didn't know what the sock. I didn't know about the sock method until I mean, I'm 54 years old. I didn't know about it till like two years ago. Okay, but that you use a sock instead of Kleenex or something. Yeah, it's just genius. It's just. I didn't know which way you were going with that. It's just disgusting. No, no, I wish I could go back in time.
I mean, this I guess for you, this is your answer to if you could turn back time. I could turn back time. My masturbation technique would just be so what a burn of a of a of a time. I was there's I was watching Oprah tech eights ago. And they did this. She covered us. She did. No, no, she didn't. And they she did this piece on this college kid. And they took her whole crew there.
And they went inside the college kids dorm and with no irony or joking around the she they were interviewing this kid and the and his roommates were like, yeah, and he's got this and this and look, and they open up his side drawer right next to his pillow. And there was tons of Kleenex in there. And they go and the guy goes, yeah, you get sick all the time.
Yeah, I was like sitting on a sick every night. We actually believe that it's good. Oh, blessed it. Well, he does. He doesn't get but his dick bursts. Hey, now will that's an old school. Shawnee. What's your mood like today on our 200? I'm better now, by the way, I feel much better. I know it's true. I'm going to get my teeth clean later today. So I need you getting your teeth clean. So that's a joyous day for you.
It is. I like it. My teeth clean. So what happens? You just FedEx him off and then they return to a couple days later. How does that work? Just put those out and put in the weekday set. You just have the guy. Do they come to your house? Is there a box a drop box near you? I forgot to put them back in. Oh, yeah. Oh, no, no, no, no, we're reporting. You don't need to put those in just for an hour. Keep them. No, I got to leave them in all the time.
I was like getting the car this morning. I can teenagers. It was part of the thing I got this thing because the kids wake him up and they're like, no, and then I'm like, we got to go. And I know we have a record. I can't drive to the valley. I love the way they fall back asleep. It's like, hey, and I'm like, what are you doing? You're going to be late for school.
You're going to be late for school. And I'm not in an Uber's expense. I'm trying to like make them feel bad. And I'm like, you got to get going. Abel goes inside and I'm like, what's going on? I'm like backing out. He comes out and he's and I go, what are you saying? You can't get me. Maybe he's got the invisilized like you. Shiny. He's like, I just get me. Maybe I got my new rubber rice. And I was like, what is happening?
Are they dealing with the wax still? They got to put the wax over the hot spots. Archie has to do because Archie has the old school. And then it's got the invisilized. They get to choose. Well, yeah, mine's not called mine's the same thing, but they put those permanent things in the back of your teeth. Those little posts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So his head gear no longer a thing is just a new head gear. It can be. I'll still wear it. It's still a thing. You have head gear as well.
Oh, no, that's for a different thing. He's thinking of a different head gear. Sorry. It's more like a ball. That's attached to it. Shiny, I don't want to speak. I don't know. Is there a harness at all involved in this? But it's fun. It's fun on the outside of Chicago. Cubs like he tries to make it kind of homie. I heard the Cubs. Okay. It's enough because we got fans of guests. Let's go. Let's go.
So let's tighten it up. It's, you know, I figured since it was the 200th episode and just happened to be my turn for a guest. I figured, you know, what? We have 200. We need two guests, right? Yes. Yeah. It's not 100. It's 200. Double the power here. We're going to give Sean more math. You're killing it. What's 100? So and and and and it's not just two guests. It is it is a duo. This is a duo that. Yeah.
Yeah. And Neil. Well, very close. And it's not it's not sunny and share either. But it's we were getting closer. And they're so fancy and they're so accomplished. There's so many awards. There's so many credits. There's so many things that I didn't even this the first guest I've not written an intro for. Because it just would be too long longer than this bullshit. So here they come guys. Steve Martin and Martin Short. Hey. Guys, right now what's your mood like now, Willie?
It's a little bit better. It's a little bit better. Oh, this is wonderful. This is deep. Hi, everyone. Hi. It's too much. First of all, I have to just jump. You got to go and say. How great it was. Here you guys try to figure out what 200 was. And the closest thing I can come up with is that you think 200 is 208. And I'm thinking that you ought to contact NASA and give them this new information.
Well, you know, we're not trying to trick anyone to think it were smart. We put it right there in the title. You know, we're smart less. Which makes me think how old are you? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. But you know, and by the way, four times 52 is like a 80. It's 80. It's in the 80s. But you know, it struck me with all the brilliant titles you guys have had. Have you ever thought about doing Steve Martin Short? It's, and I don't mean this negatively.
It's going to hurt. No, it's not going to hurt. It's so obvious. We've been reviewed that way so many times that we expect more from our audience. Every day I get an email, hey, what about Steve Martin Short? And then I'd see it on any, you know, Twitter thing I'm on. I get what about that? Well, Marty should know that it's so obvious is also Jason Tanov is memoir. So it was taken. No, we've had many, we've had many different titles. One of my favorite was two for the price of three.
Depending on your seat. But what about these, these titles, an evening you will forget for the rest of your life. Yes. Now you see them soon, you won't. The funniest show in town at the moment. You won't believe what they look like today. And number one is walking Steve's new book. It's just, that's what they call it. It's two years old. Is it? Why do they say new? You know, Wikipedia is just not what it used to be. Yeah, I know. Also, your dreams are not as informative as it is.
Do you have, do you have excellent lighting or is that new work? You know what? Have you ever heard of the word combo? Marty, you must admit I look, I, you know, I am so, I'm so angry by the press when they keep saying the word timeless. And I think I have to live up to it on some level. The great thing about Marty is he has it all done at once. I hear the eyes, the nose, the team. It's true. And you heal all at once, you heal six weeks and it's over.
Well, you know, I didn't get much from that book about Liberace, but I got a few pointers. I would say that the last time I saw Marty was at the opening of Sean your play and I was walking, I think I told this and I was walking by the bar to go upstairs and he was like 50 people away from a knee yelled across everybody. Why can't you have talent like that? I have to add, I have to add line from your earlier conversation about Kleenex, because Lenny Bruce had a line.
It's like the mother and she goes in her son's, you know, room and picks up, she goes, oh, oh look, Sonny blew his nose on the Playboy magazine again. Oh, is that funny? Wait a minute. You know, guys, you know, Selena was on.
Selena Gomez was on our show a while ago and she said, Steve, she brought you up and she said that, you know, I always wonder if we're going to keep doing more seasons and Steve says, I want to do the, we're standing on the set and Steve goes, I want to do this show forever. When do we get out of here today? First of all, we pay our compliments to Selena. She's lovely to work with love. Selena and you know, she doesn't mind us. Oh, that's Marty. But is someone to get the door?
You're such a, you know what? This is going to ring 10 times. Is this like having a little, what it's a good location for your, you know what, we should have removed it. Uh-huh. Is there a little cuckoo bird that's going to come out at the end? No, no, no, but keep talking, but just remember. It's not nine o'clock. It's 10. So, so this, this, this incredible duo started with the three amigos. Yes. Yes. Is this Wikipedia correct on that?
Correct. Yes. Yeah. Now, what were you aware of each other at all beforehand? Who was, who was in a better position career wise at that point? Well, Steve, Steve was, remember, a major star. Yes. And I was still in the ninth grade. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you say was? Yeah. Wow. You still got real bad back. Still rolling, Marty. Yeah. Wow. No, Steve, as you know, is a big, big star. And, but even then, no, I remember being aware of Steve, I met Steve, um, quickly.
Backstage of the new show and he was hosting it. Lawrence, um, show the 84, uh, January 84, it started. It was just one, um, season. And the new show was kind of the idea of SNL in prime time. And, really? And, uh, Lauren was the host and Catherine O'Hare was on, too. Wait a second, huh? Lauren Michaels was the host. On, no, no, no, he was executive producer. Yes. Okay. Steve was the host. Gotcha. Uh, so Catherine O'Hare was also on the show and we were friends of Catherine.
So Nancy and I went and, and visited Catherine and Steve came into his dressing room doing quick change. He was very friendly in that kind of icy way that is so Steve. It was friendly as far as I can go. Yeah. You maxed out. But I remember, I met my first met Marty, uh, at, at my house. And he came over to get a copy of the script for three amigos. Really? That's when I first met him.
And I, of course knew who he was and I loved, I, I, I, since then, you know, I learned more because I always enjoyed him. But, you know, I also watched him do specials and create new characters. And I realized that his characters are so bizarre. They have nothing to do with humanity. They have, they have to do with like, you know, like, uh, you know, aliens coming down and think, I think this is the way they act. Well, thank you. Right.
It's like human behavior done by somebody who's never seen humans behave. Exactly. Right. But so was it, was that part of the part of the thinking Steve was that, you know, this is, this is a fella that mixed in with what I'm doing and what John would be doing. That it would be a great, the third element creating a sort of red, blue, green. Here's exactly, here's exactly what I thought.
I gave Marty the script and I said, now look, when you read this script and you come across Rick Moranis' name just cross it out and write yours in. Unavailable. No, no, I was definitely the, the cheap amigo. It was the, you know, caratop had said, let me think about it. Wait, what about, and then Chevy was what? Well, no, it was, it was going to be Steve and Chevy. They were the, I think the original wasn't it, it wasn't a John candy. I think it was John Belushi. Yeah. Oh wow.
I think it was John Belushi and, uh, and then it went to John Candy. I think you kind of know what we were going for there. Anyway, both were unavailable and, and then the name Martin Short. Martin Short came up. You know, that's right. You know, and after there was a pause. And then Chevy was last? No, Chevy was in. Okay. Me and Chevy were definitely in. It's actually Chevy and I, but whatever. Marty, what was that? Speaking of doing your, you know, Steve was talking about characters.
I never knew like, obviously I was such a huge fan of SNL then and now, but your character Jackie, somebody with the blonde or the white one. Jackie Rogers Jr. Jackie Rogers Jr. I've never known who that is. There was. And I just, I don't have. I'll tell you exactly who he was. I had done a, I know a piece of an SETV called the idea that Jackie Rogers senior, uh, had been killed shooting a special called Old Mother Nature. She loves me. And he was attacked by a cougar and killed.
And it had been on the shelf for 11 years. And then they were going to air it. But at the end, I needed someone to pop on and say, I missed my data. I hope you won't Thursdays at seven. And I'd seen a picture of Mickey Rooney Jr. who looked albino. So I made a malbino. Okay. Got it. So wait, Jackson, you have a character backstory. Like, like your Marlon Brando. What's your back story? I'm really funny. Uncle, what was it? They have a father nature. Why? Old Mother Nature. She loves me.
There'd be a scene with me singing to a squirrel park and me, miss. But I never done this with a real live squirrel. But then you saw a cougar working and he attacked me and killed me. Marty, tell, tell them the title of your TV special that I love so much. I Martin Short goes Hollywood. But that reminded me of something I read years ago of this funniest book title I ever read. And then I thought, oh, I wish I had thought of that. And then I researched it. And there is no book called that.
And I thought maybe I did think of it. But it was, it was a kind of a comedy biography of a fictitious actor called I actor. I actor. I actor. I was on a TV show. I was on a TV show. And I was on a TV show. I was on a TV show. I was on a TV show. That's a terrible joke that was. And we will be right back. Thank you to Macy's for supporting this episode of SmartLess. In case it slipped your mind, Mother's Day is May 12th. That's right. It's right around the corner.
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She's going to be so excited. And I can't wait to surprise her with something from Macy's. She's going to be like, ooh, it's Macy's. Head on over to macy's.com slash gift finder to make this Mother's Day. And especially memorable one. That's macy's.com slash gift finder. SmartLess is supported in part by Delta Airlines. You know what one of the things about a great trip is? It's not just the place you're going, but actually going and coming home from the trip.
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So I get my p-cast on, then I'm going to do a couple Zoom meetings, then I'm going to go for a lunch, and I might go hit some golf balls, and then I'm going to come home and just chillax. Nothing says chillax like the metapant or the Sunday performance jogger. Viori is an investment in your happiness, and they're hooking up SmartList listener with 20% off your first purchase at Viori.com slash smartless. That's V-U-O-R-I dot com slash smartless.
Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but you'll also enjoy free shipping on any U.S. orders over $75 and free returns. Go to Viori dot com slash smartless and discover the versatility of Viori clothing. And now back to the show. Was it clear to you guys doing that first project that there was going to be a long life to this friendship and this work collaboration or did that just kind of grow on its own. No, I mean, I think it happens when you're working together.
I mean, sometimes as we all know, you do, you're in Romania with a group of people for three months and you make a film, and then you never ever see them again. But with Steve, I thought, no, I want to keep this going. So we would do Amigo at dinners and go ahead. Can you see me raising my hand? No, I was just saying that you're right. Usually work with somebody, then you never see them again. But in this case, we continued to work together kind of coincidentally through follow the bride movies.
And did we do another movie together? Yeah, we did, but that's not I think the point of it is. No, no, we did Prince of Egypt father the bride. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, yeah. And the scenes that were cut from chindlers. No. But you were not supposed to talk about Marty. You know you're supposed to mention it. Just tonally, tonally, it was not. It was a swing. No, no, no, but Steve, Steve father the bride was five years after three Migos. We continued to be great friends and we're together.
Yes, that's true. Well, it's like you guys, you constantly riffing off each other. It's fun. And when you work together, you start doing that all the time. And then you develop kind of a not only a kinship, but a style. And you guys had, and you guys also, right, you have a style and you have socially, you have a lot of friends, right, in common. So you're sort of in the same circles. You're kind of in each other's orbits and on a lot of levels, right?
Well, let me add something. Only Marty has friends. Right. That's my problem with these two. I've been a bit from his friends. Yeah, yeah, that's not true. But he's very social. Everybody wants to be with Marty. And I told this before, I'd say, you know, if we're, for example, or someone is plotting a dinner party in Hollywood, and you invite these people and you invite Marty. And if Marty can't come, you cancel the party. Yeah, because Marty is the party. And Marty is the party.
But back then, and certainly after the successive three of me goes, you guys could have, if you wanted to start to generate your own sort of two-hand or kind of vehicles or much like you guys are doing today with your live stuff, that didn't really, did you think about it? Did that start? No, I, you know, Steve was a massive movie star, and I was just kind of there, you know. He was, while he was doing Roxanne, I was, you know, doing the loveboat reunion or something. So it wasn't always equal.
And I think it was, as Steve said, it just so happened that we were both cast in, in Father the Bride and the Father the Bride too, and then other things. But it wasn't until around 2011 that we were asked to interview each other on stage for the closing of the Just For Last Comedy Festival in Chicago, and that was successful, and that evolved into our live show. So that was the impetus for this whole other thing that you guys created. Yes, right.
But I have to add something, and Jason said, after the success of three amigos, dot, dot, dot, you really mean 20 years after the success, the three amigos did it become a success. It was a minor success at the time, and then it had a accumulation, or crude value, and then I remember, like, you know, 10 years ago, a magazine from UK, I think it was called Empire Magazine, they called it, we want to put you Chevy and Marty on the cover, and I said, why?
And they said, well, it's the 25th anniversary of three amigos. And it's a huge hit. And I mean, somebody cares? I didn't think anybody even ever thought about it. Wow. Yeah, but the next year they did the cover of 25 years later from Ishtar. It's a magazine of Flops. Yeah, I see now.
Now, for a couple of fellas that usually with your level of success, want to do the last thing they want to do is start bopping around the country on the frequency that you guys are, staying in hotels, going up live, like, that is, it's a big thing that you guys are doing all the time, to the massive success. And you know, you probably do it. But you're more sure of that way, too. But I mean, I just think it's just incredible that you guys are, is this, is it getting, is it tiring?
Are you, are you sorry that you've got so much momentum built up with this and all the fans that you would disappoint if you stopped? I mean, you're screwed now. Well, the truth is, if I enjoy working with Marty, and I think it's vice versa. So we actually enjoy it. And all that other nice sitcom, you know, when you get six hours a day and you're just, you know, down the street. Well, I mean, that's a good idea. No, you know, you know, it seems like way more work than it is.
It really is because we'll do maybe four shows, and then we won't do it again for two weeks. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. And they are fun. And then we, I mean, Steve and I will then, you know, have a glass of wine afterwards and discuss the show. And everyone kind of loves each other, because we have the Steve Canyon Rangers, and we have Jeff Abko, my piano guy, And everyone in the stage manager, it's all become very close. So it's fun. Yeah.
There are no pricks allowed. Our max is six, maybe seven shows a month. Okay. Yeah. So it's not, you know, I couldn't do it because I got a family and, you know, I love being home. Yeah. Yeah. You know, me too. Steve, is it true years and years ago, Steve, that you, I've always heard this. I've never, I've never had the fortune and opportunity to have one. But did you used to have cards made when people came up to you,
ask for a photo or an autograph? And he would just hand you a card that said you've got a card. I thought it was funny. This is in the 70s when I was getting asked for a lot of autographs. And so I made up a card. And it said, because I thought, what do people really want when they get an autograph? They want to say that they met you. That's the main thing. And what was he like? Yeah. And, you know, like the one, the 12 seconds that they made, what was he like?
So I wrote, this certifies that you met me and found me warm, charming, and telepathy. And then I had a printed signature on it. And then I found I'd give the cards out, thinking it was hilarious. And then they'd say, could you sign this? No way. Yeah. So I said, well, that's over. Oh, wow. This, when you guys come together and you think up another show, and how many of the live tours have you guys done? It's four, five, six? Well, you mean different titles. I mean,
yes. But we keep changing the material all the time. We always, well, well, in fairness, we, we, it's slowly evolving. And we don't, we never throw everything out and then bring everything new in. It would be impossible. So it just slowly evolves. Yeah. Like what, what is that process? Like it, would it be like what the process would be?
I'm assuming for standup where you've got to spend a bunch of weeks or months accruing brand new material observations, jokes, et cetera, and shape that into a set that's, that, that you're, that you like. Is that the same process you guys go through? Or no, you're saying it, it's sort of the same core and then you just kind of update it. Yeah. Yeah. We, we change things one line at a time. And then every once in a while, we'll come up with a new idea. And we'll put it in whole.
And is there a formal process when you guys will get together and, and right? And, and, or you do it via Zoom, where you just sit there. Zoom. We'll do, we'll do Zoom. Yeah. We'll do Zoom and we'll have a bunch of material in front of us and we'll, but, but, you know, we'll do that at the beginning of a tour. If we have a lot of new material to go over. Would you guys consider doing like Google spaces? Or Microsoft teams? Oh, we've done, we've done.
I don't want to fuck with your process. You're creative processes. I'm just saying. Now, Marty, is it, is it true, Marty, that you originally saw yourself more as a singer and an actor? And if so, at what point did you feel it was a safe pivot to go into straight up comedy, screw the singing, screw the, I'm not going to be a character. And you regret it. And do you? And what were you thinking?
No, I, I think it wasn't until I joined Second City in Toronto that I started develop characters and realize that I could improvise and all that stuff. But up until then, I thought I wanted to be Sinatra. Frank Jr., oddly enough, not the father. And I wanted to. And I used, you know, I used to do musicals when I would do play. Yes. But I'm sure you must have been, you must have had some comedic success in high school, right? Junior high school. Well, no, no, I was, I was funny in the class.
I was funny in the class. I was killed and say Catherine's. I heard that you would kill in Hamilton and say Catherine. Oh, true. You know, at the hungry, hungry lion in Hamilton. You know, I, I, I was, I grew up in a very funny family. My brother Michael has won many Emmys and awards for writing everything from SCTV to Shits Creek. But so he was the eldest and it was very funny family. My father was funny. So it was kind of natural to be funny.
But I never thought of it as something I would do until later on. And as you know, Marty is an incredible singer. I mean, I listen to him on stage. No, sorry, I listen to him on stage every night. He's never flat. He's never sharp. And curiously, he's never on the note. But. But no, he's incredible. He never misses. He has a beautiful tone. Is he a better singer than you are a banjo player? Absolutely. Is he? That's high praise because you know what you're doing on that thing, right?
Well, oh, Steve's good. I do it in a way. There could be some Grammys there. In fact, whenever Steve plays a banjo, I have one Grammys playing the banjo. You won many Grammys, Steve. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Playing a banjo. Yeah. Whenever Steve plays a banjo, I like to just close my eyes and pretend I'm on hold with Cracker Barrel. Do you guys do a bit of a singing slash banjo playing piece in the live shows? We don't actually sing and play together.
We do some songs, but we use piano and we use our orchestra. But we don't have a banjo number. Jason, have you not seen it? No, I've been in the middle. It's so good. It's so funny and so it's. With the show, I haven't seen it in a year. I've been busy. I've been in my defense. I'm very busy. Yeah, I know you've mentioned. I hear. I listen to this part all the time. And I always hear. You've said many times. I'm busy. I'm very busy. I'm not sure at what. Yeah, I'm busy. What country?
Wait, wait, Steve, I want to ask you actually you mentioned Grammys. And you won Grammys for your banjo playing. But you've also won many Grammys for standup over the years. And do you, I don't know if you do any standup anymore at all, ever? The only standup I do is in our show. Yeah. I call it standup with Marty, but there's a set. We each have a section in our show. And I just sort of do monologue jokes and play the play. Introduce the song on the banjo and play it. But I love doing it.
It takes, and it took me as long as much time to work out that ten minutes. As it used to take to work out ten minutes. You know, you realize you're three years into this. And you've got one little area that's weak and you're trying to fix it. And now it's feeling really good. Now that it's old and overexposed. Is there, what is the oldest joke that you still include in your set? Like the one that just never fails, it goes all the way back to Carson perhaps. Oh. You know, appearance is there.
No? Anything? I don't. I don't. I mean, there's jokes that, you know, for example, when we did our Netflix special, then we really started trying to change things out. And then three years later, we're talking, we're going, you know what I missed, that one joke. Right. Blah, blah, blah. And then we would put it back in and then no one knew for care. Marty, you're famous for really loving preparing very deeply for talk show.
I thought you were going to say, Marty, you're famous for using the single joke. What is your favorite? Which one of the three? How is it to deeply prepare using old materials? Yeah. But you enjoy, did I hear this right, that you enjoy preparing for talk show appearances? Whereas some of us... Well, I just have a philosophy about it. I mean, I just kind of, it's like, it's work and you've got to prepare. I just don't want to go out and fail and feel it was my fault.
Right. So if I send in, you know, 15 pages and then I go out with Kimmel or Letterman or Fallon, and they're off or I'm a little off, but if I go out, going for bear, I feel like whatever happens, I can still toast myself because I did everything I could do. I feel the exact same way. How is it going today for you? Did you prepare today? I did and it's none of it is working. You should toast yourself because you did your best. You should toast yourself. You know what I should. I should.
I mean, I got the lighting. Again, this is part of the portion of the interview, hashtag relatable. Talking about talk show appearances. I find that I get, I start to feel sad and like I'm losing my soul as I start to like the two weeks before the talk show appearance, I start to really try to log things in my life. Oh, this would be good to talk about or this would be good. And they're like deeply personal, cute moments like with your children or whatever.
And you think, well, fuck, why am I logging this for a talk show? I should be. Yeah, but it all works out. James Furr, move it. I should save it from TV. Yeah, no, but it works out because you don't really, you're working, you're working, you're feeling you're losing your soul, you feel sad and depressed. And then when you do it, that's what the audience feels. So it's a thing. It's a journey. You transferred to the audience.
Yes. I'm not sure what you mean, you mean you feel like you're giving away your private life to do a talk show anecdote? No, I feel like I should be more present in my moment with my children or whatever, instead of thinking, oh, this is funny what she's doing. I'm going to talk to Camel about this. Like that's just, you're doing the right thing. You're doing the right thing.
Yeah, but don't you, it's interesting, Marty, we've talked about this before, where people don't realize those kinds of on camera interviews on those talk shows are kind of performances. And it's like, you keep, we've all seen them and all witnessed them. So we know what the good ones look like every single person in show business. So don't you want to do a good one? The first show I ever did was in 1982 on Letterman.
And I kept thinking, what do I, like same thing you're saying, Jason, what do I talk about? What do I think about? And then I realized, oh, I get it. It's, you've got to, it's like being at a dinner party where everyone's had some drinks and you're kind of on and telling stories. But somehow you have to lift that six minutes because you don't have an hour and a half ramp or the booths.
Yeah, you know what I can't stand though is when people go on who are funny, like considered funny people in the business. And they just like to talk about something serious and people at home are judging them and they go, oh, I saw them on Letterman or Fallon or whatever or Camel, they're not that funny. They're not the right, yet, yeah, a dramatic actor goes on and says one funny thing. People at home go, and they can do comedy. It's amazing. I used to really resent. We're so bitter.
Yeah, I know. When I was, when I was young and dumb and really super duper full of myself, I just think, oh, you know, I'm going on this talk show, like they're lucky to have me. I don't have to prepare anything. Fuck that, you know, and they're not paying me to write. And of course, you know, the appearances were terrible. And I would see them and I just like, oh, my God, you, you punk.
And then as I got older and wiser as we all do, then you start really working on stuff and that pre-interview with the producer for Tracy, a lot of this stuff is talked about beforehand so that there is a cohesive six minutes where you're going to get to a few questions. And not that the answers are prepared, but you've got sort of an angle that might be entertaining for the audience. But they all, the whole, all the hosts vary.
I mean, you know, sometimes you go, but when I would do Letterman, I swear he would hit one quarter of what I'd prepared. Right. One time he said, tell the Tony Randall story. And I said, I was on two months ago and told the Tony Randall story, Dave. He said, I don't care. Tell it again. I have a secret fantasy, which is to go on a talk show totally unprepared and just to see what happens.
Yeah. But you could do that and you could do that and there are there are certain hosts that could definitely do that and not need them because sometimes the notes are really almost there more for them. Right. You know, and it's, but a lot of them like Kimmel, for instance, like you just go on there and you can just go right off the questions and you sit down how you doing great and you guys are just both riffing. You have a conversation like we're having.
I mean, we're barely prepared. I'm certainly barely prepared. What's my next question here? I want to talk about only murders. Did you guys, when you, first of all, we share mutual friend John Hoffman, who I love. Yes. The bright is always cherry, always sweet, always kind, would kill the half of that. Then he stabbed you in the back. Did you guys know when you were developing it together? Not I hate that question. Did you know it was going to work?
Did you have a sense that with the writing in you guys and like the first table reads and the first kind of days of shooting like, yeah, this is we have something here or you still kind of unsure until the season was wrapped. Didn't know a thing. Didn't know a thing. You just just write it according to the premise. Yeah. And then when it started to hit the air, the air and you started to get back word that, why the way it's the biggest debut that ever and you know that sort of things.
That's the way it actually is. That's huge. And that's when you start to get excited, but you don't change anything because of that. You just, oh. And then even a year and a half later, you start to go, what is this? Yeah. Right. Yeah. We'll be right back. We get support from Happy Egg. And here's the deal.
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And back to the show. Now there's word that you guys are going to be going to Los Angeles with it is the whole show switching to Los Angeles or no? Well, that's one of those news stories because we're shooting two days in Los Angeles that it's mistaken for they're moving to the entire season. Yeah, it's just it's like a location shoot or got you, but it is shot in New York. Right. Yes. Do you both live in New York?
A Steve lives in New York. I rent in New York. But you know, you rent while we're shooting. You don't live in New York. That is correct. Would you guys like for it to be shot in Los Angeles 100% of the time? That was my you know, when I had that idea for the show, I pitched it to them to the producers down Vogue them and Jess Rosenthal based on not I wasn't even in it.
And so I think this is a good idea. And we liked it. Then they called me and said, would you do it? And I said, well, I can't. I could only do it if it shot in New York. Right. And then that's what you know, that's why it was shot. Also, it's a New York show, which makes it. Well, I mean, that's the thing. It's great that it shot in New York. It feels 100% like a New York show. And he just added Molly Shannon. I read Molly Shannon. Yes. That's super fun.
You have a great. So many people on that show. Fantastic. Yeah. And that's what when we get somebody that we can really like we worked with Matthew Broderick. It was it was like so easy. And the comedy is so good. You know, you're like you've worked together all, you know, your whole life. Yeah, Matthew's great. I love it.
But talk about it out of the box piece of casting with Selena Gomez just obviously seems incredibly genius now. But like the two of you with her is so unexpected. How did that come about? It came about after the fact because I had originally pitched it as three older people who have a lot of time on their hands. And you know, we were busy. And then. And then I think that the studio suggested what about a Selena actually. What about Selena?
And we and we met her on zoom and she actually cast her and we met her on zoom and Marty and I would after the zoom we call each other. She's perfect. Yeah. Wow. So sweet. Well, I still wasn't sure. I was saying, okay, maybe a female. But what about Kathy Lee Gifford? She's a little higher. You pull out names from from an old hat. From the Harry Potter sorting.
Now talk about another thing that you would think would be unexpected because Steve, you have you've lived a very private life. It's very, very cold, very mysterious. I love that about you. You don't you don't seek attention. You know, you know, Marty. And you've got this. And but there's this documentary coming out that is covering you from soup to nuts or already. Yes. And was that was that pulling teeth to get you to be a person?
No, no, no, no, no. Is the director would probably a huge draw for you. But. Morgan Neville. So glad. What's it called? It's called Steve exclamation point. Okay. Yeah, Steve exclamation point. And I got a call from Morgan Neville about this documentary. And and I, you know, his credits are won't you be my neighbor and 20 feet from stardom. Yeah. So many, you know, he did a thing called cool school.
Yeah. And and I met him. We got along. And you know, when you do a documentary, you have to open up, first of all, your archives, which I happen to have, they said, they told me said, you have a lot of archives. And I didn't realize I had a lot of archives. So they went prowled through my archives for months and months and months and found things that they found like an old sock, a photo.
I love, I love to that you did know you had archives. You were just like, who was saving them? It was a, it was a cherished sock. Anyway, they found a photo of my father in Germany in 1940. And I was like, three doing a us oh show. Oh, thank God. That could have got a good direction. That could have got a different direction. Wait, Steve, Steve, let me ask you, did you, did you have, did you, did you start archiving years ago, hire one of these people to do that?
I'm an archive. I saved things. You know, like, and I realized later, you know, I would take things like, Oh, I'm on a magazine cover. I'll save it. And I'd throw it in a thing. Yeah. I was saving all the wrong stuff. I should have saved photos, which you know, photos were hard to come by then. You just didn't snap it. You had the photos and it is.
I didn't think it was, you know, change film, the whole thing. So, but when I wrote my autobiography, I did have one little plastic box where I just threw things in. And that had things like a receipt from a hotel in Salt Lake City in 1971. So you knew where you were at that date. And you could remember her name, though. It was like, it was like archeological because you could, as it went down, you would go past and go past time.
Go through time. Yeah. I went to, speaking about receipts, I went to that when Marty's biography came out, he didn't send me one. So I went to the bookstore, bought it. And while I was at the cash register, put the book and the receipt, took a photo of it, emailed him and said, that's okay, I got it. Very good. And by the way, you can, you can buy Marty's book on Amazon. I mean, you won't. But if you need it, it's there.
Marty, what about a documentary biography for you? Like a documentary? Can't make his deal. No, there's going to be one. Oh, really? Lawrence Cazden, the legendary director is doing it for a imagine. Really? Wow. Great. When does that, are you have you been shooting it? No, no, no, it's just they're just again accumulating stuff. Yeah, well, that's going to take years. Yeah, they're making the final decision on who it's about.
Yeah. The trend to decide the ending. Yeah. How long are you in town, Marty? Are you in? Are you in? I go to New York in about two weeks for, you know, we start shooting. All right. Is it that? Are you in the middle of production? Or we don't start shooting for two weeks? Yeah. A new season. I mean, or a season? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll start with shooting a couple days in L.A.
And then the bulk of it in New York. Okay. And how are you guys enjoying that the process of being, you know, locked on to a show that lasts. I mean, how long is your season to shoot for five months? Yeah, for it's about four months. And I actually love it. It's, you know, the studio's 20 minutes from my house. Yeah.
And I also you're working with two other co stars. Yeah. And so you're not shooting every day. And when we work together, it's really fun. Yeah. And I would say that it is definitely Steve's philosophy, my philosophy. And it turned out luckily Selena's philosophy to make the set as much fun and joyful as it can be. So there are no pricks allowed. And so it's fun to go to work.
It's just stunning, right? How people don't enforce that rule commonly on a set because the hours that you work, the cast and the crew are often many more hours than you spend with your family. So why would you tolerate anything short of a family dynamic on a set? But Jamie, you've always been good about that. You're a crew guy and you've always had that rule. No pricks on set, but me and you've, you've stuck by it and you've always you've never deviated. And there's the only one.
I've said this on the podcast before. But any job I get the very first day, say out loud to everybody is if you look around and you can't find out who the asshole is, it's probably you. Yeah, it's true. Well, you guys have been very, very nice to help us sell a bunch of 100, 200, 200, 200. A very significant book. What a thrill. We add up our ages. It'd probably be around that. What a thrill. Yeah. It becomes, I work with Jason in 2004, you know. And what? And Will. Oh, unrested.
Yeah. What a rest of the film. I've never played a character, a rich fella that had lost the use of his legs with a weightlifting accident. And he's so wealthy that he, and hated wheelchairs, he hired a big meathead, a big, big, big, heavy fella to carry him around like a little baby. And then Marty, Marty would bark directions at him, you know. Shoot me. Shoot me. Yeah, shoot me. And he'd take me this way. To the nuts. And he'd have to dip him down to grab a handful of nuts.
And then they did a flashback of the actual accident where he's lifting up a barbell. He puts it over his head and he just says, too much. And then his legs snapped. And then we cut back to the present time. Yeah. No, but the funniest joke of that though was when I'm being carried by Dragon, his name is to the nuts. To the nuts. Right. And he puts me at Jason's crotch. Yeah. And I against his crotch, I'm going, Bridge Mix. I want Bridge Mix. Where did it, Mitch?
Was that your joke or was it Mitch's? Mitch's the great bit turrets. I have to be. Must be Mitch's. Oh my God, the crap he'd come up with is so good. It's a great bit turrets. I remember doing my and Marty, the my and Marty show with Marty, you and we were rehearsing something in the hallway. And I said, should we just like, should we just kiss after that line? He said, yeah. Let's not. And we just, and he goes, let's rehearse it. And you just grabbed me and kissed. There we go.
Oh, he uses that a lot. Love that. Then I had to give you one note. I just said, you know, it's a comedic kiss. We don't need the tongue. It was great. I mean, you know, there's times in your and one's life where you get to meet the people that inspired you. And that moment has not come yet. And you guys are the two reasons you got this business. I was literally going to tease you. I was going to joke and say, don't you start crying. You're literally crying.
Yeah, because a lot of the times you don't have these moments. Yeah. I hear you. We're very, very fortunate. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. You two are the two reasons. I got you serious. Aren't you? He is deadly serious. He's very soft and chewy on the inside. Yeah. That's true. Thank you, Sean. You guys are incredible and incredibly generous to say yes to doing this today. So thank you. Thank you. I love your show. I love you.
When you're joking around, it just feels like you're with three friends, you know, not you guys. I'm sure it's what you guys enjoy working together all these years. We certainly feel that way. And I remember I remember I was one on one of the early shows and you didn't even have a title yet. That's correct. And I suggested and I suggested the McGuire sisters. You did. Didn't clear. Didn't clear. We got so close. We got so close with that.
Sorry, we got in chalked up there, but I mean, I meant it. No, it's so. No, thank you, Sean. No, thank you. That's why you are so lovely because you were a 100% human being. Well, thank you. Likewise. And he's got great taste. Yeah. You guys are the best. It is such a thrill for us. I thank you for having you guys. We loved it. Yeah. And I'll get the address. Give you the address for the check. This will never air. This will never air. This will never. It can't. No, it can't.
There's nothing usable. There's nothing. You guys. We'll punch it up later. The great one. And Steve Martin. My gosh. Thank you guys for doing our 200th episode. Thank you. Thank you. Brilliant show. Love. I've heard every one of your show. Thank you. I'll see you guys. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. So, I must say, I was at this dinner at our friend's Ted's house. Yeah. And he had about 30 or 40 of the funniest people in this business. And I was fortunate enough to be there.
And Dave Shepel stands up. And he gives us incredible speech about how everybody in that room means, means something to him and has meant something to him. And it was just incredible. I was blown away. I was just, it was incredible. to him and it was just incredible. I was blown away by his speech. And I thought, good on him for making that speech in the moment while it's happening. And so I had this conversation with myself, I'm like, do I say it? Do I say it? Do I wait till I'm done?
And I say it to you guys and it's like, no, embrace the fear of saying that, the thing that you feel in front of the people you want to say it to. Of course. And so I seized the moment. And I was, it's just so lovely. And I guarantee you that just drilled them right in their heart and probably meant the world to them. Because I guarantee you they feel at least half of that going back to you.
Yeah, you know what I will say this too, is and I'm with you that those two guys have had or two people that I as well have as a sort of comedic actor, if you will. I don't consider myself a comedian, but as a performer, two guys that I look up to as being at the sort of the pinnacle, again, gold standards of people that I think are funny, who have created funny things over the funny characters for years. For years. And the top of their game forever.
And so the idea that I'm in a conversation with them that they're doing our podcast to me is not, the novelty of that has not rubbed out. Right. And I never does. And I never want to, right? And I never want to get to ever get to a place in my life where I don't recognize things like that and I take them for granted. Because we've all been this business for fucking a hundred years. And you don't want to just pass moments by, we're like, oh yeah, they're so and so, they're so and so.
It's like, you know them. And it just takes a beat to go, wow, how did I get here? And those two guys. Yeah. And as soon as the novelty wears off, you stop enjoying and appreciating exactly how fortunate you are. I still remember, I think I was like, I don't know, 13 or 14 or something. And I'd been going for a couple of years and one of my buddies at school said, well, what's the most famous person you've ever met? And I forget what I said.
But I remember there was, there was like one person, you know, that I thought, well, this would be a great answer. I still remember that like it was yesterday. And I think about it all the time on this show. Because we are so fortunate to be able to talk to people at the zenith of this business. And I feel, I mean, my pits are sweating right now. They sweat every time we record this show. Because we're talking to someone that I don't feel like I really have a right to have on my show, our show.
Like, what am I doing hosting a show that they would be a guest on? It's just. JB, JB, I played this thing yesterday, you know, that thing that you could be at. And I got one of the guys I played with, said to me, said, oh, man, that Bano, when you guys had Bano on last year, and he knows Bano, he was like, that was such a great interview. And Bano had such a great time. And he really felt really comfortable with you guys. And he really had such a great experience.
And I'm thinking like, Bano told you that about hanging out with us fucking morons. Like what? Yeah. Well, none of this is lost on us clearly. And then it's. And then we're lucky. We're fortunate. We're not lucky, but we're really fortunate. And we, as much joking as we do about our lives and all that kind of stuff that we get to do it, that we get the opportunities to do it. And then on and together.
Yes. And now that we're talking about all this stuff on another level, that we get to do it together. And then I admire you guys and love you guys, just like I did then, you know. It's really cool how those, yeah, and those two guys we were talking about, they, that's why they're bopping around together. Because they just love being with one another. And just like, you know, we love being together and how this whole thing started. It's so funny, you know, doing this thing.
And, you know, we do it together. And people have opinions on it. And opinions on our relationships. And people come up to us and say stuff and whatever. And it's odd, right? It's very kind of revealing sometimes. It was part of it that I never talked about. Which one's the best, which one's the funniest? No, but they talk about like what we do. And it's very, it's exposing in a way, right? In a way that I didn't anticipate before. Yeah. About being so open.
And I feel very lucky, like you were saying, Sean, that I get to do it with you guys. I feel very safe doing it with you guys. And I love you guys a lot. And we, like anybody, we have moments that are tough as well. And we do stuff and because we're friends and we're in business together and we do stuff. But as, you know, we are, I think if you guys as my for real brothers and friends, and I love you guys a lot. I love you too. And that we're doing this 200th episode. It's fucking crazy. Right.
It's fucking crazy, dude. And the other cool thing is that while we do hang out with each other away from this, this is not 50%, but it's, say, 35% of the time we spend with one another. And we shared this relationship basically. We share 35% of our friendship with the people who are listening. So that's what I mean. Thank you guys for this. Thank you guys. And thank you for being a part of whatever this three-headed beast is.
Yeah. It's, you see and you live with us 35% of our friendship, which is kind of cool. And so, it's been a podcast called 35%. Willie, you started this podcast today kind of down. How do you feel now? I feel a lot better now. Good. It always works. Yeah. It always works. It always works. It's wild fucking show up with the right attitude next time. No. I'm going to show up as me every time. It's true. Where are we going? I don't try to flip a switch at all.
We just open up the computer and away we go. Yeah. You're at where you're at. And it's true. Like I even said, I anticipated that you start here and you can always end up up here. Always. And that any day, any given day doesn't have to be a bad day or a good day. You can have lots of different things on every day. And that's just the color of life. Yeah. You know, people come and go. You say hello. You say. Yeah. Goodbye. You say goodbye. You say goodbye. This is the mirror.
I wish we had some of those recommendations for buys right now. Right now. Right now. Will, are you trying to Google one right now? We went to, we went before. We were just going to say a buy. Like I feel like there's something we could do like in a bicentennial type of thing because it's 200 years. Oh, two of J's are bicentennial. Do it. It is our bicentennial. It's our, this is happy, happy buy. Bye. Bye. Bye, Centennial. Bye. Is it really bicentennial? Yes, smart. Smart. Smart. Smart. Smart.
Smart. Smart. Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Umgerf. Smart. Less. If you like smartness, you can listen early and add free right now by joining Wundry Plus in the Wundry app or on Apple podcasts. Prime members can listen to add free on Amazon music. Before you go, tell us about yourself by filling out a short survey at Wundry.com Slash Survey. I'm Shimol Yei, and I have a new podcast called The Competition.
For a year, 50 high school senior girls compete in a massive scholarship competition. I wouldn't say I have an ego problem, but I'm extremely competitive. All of the competitors are used to being the best and the brightest, and they're all vying for a huge cash prize. This will probably be the most intense that you've ever gone through in your life. I remember that feeling, because I was one of them. I lost. But now I'm coming back as a judge, and also a kind of teen girl anthropologist.
Because if you want to understand what it's like to be a young woman in America today, the competition's not a bad place to start. Hopefully, no one will die on stage tonight. From Pineapple Street Studios and Wundry. This is The Competition. Follow the competition on the Wundry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to The Competition early and ad-free right now by joining Wundry Plus.