"Michael Keaton"

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Hey, guys. Will, really, your hair is really growing in there. It's very long. Sean, I'm going to go ahead and let you start again. We need a little bit more enthusiasm when we're starting an episode. Sorry, sorry. Hey, Will's hair. And welcome to an only Smyrla. You know, listener, every once in a while, Will and Sean and I have to have an adult.

conversation we have to do a little bit of a zoom we need to talk about scary legal things and we just had one of those before this record and um sean got a real head full of steam going in his legal prowess And talking about how he looked through these documents and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And in walks an order of, presumably from an off-camera Scotty. That's correct. Two frosted strawberry Pop-Tarts and a half a glass of milk. That's right.

And he keeps talking in all his legal... He starts choking on his fucking frosted Pop-Tart offering legal advice to me and Will. At one point he says to you, Justin, he goes, with a mouthful of Pop-Tart, he goes, if you want to send it to me, I... I love reading that stuff. And I go, you didn't even know the fucking document you were signing, Pop-Tart. Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Oh, man. Jason just got back from vacation. How lovely.

I'm very lovely and relaxed. Will looks like he's been on vacation for six months. He's got some new lighting in the Whisper booth there. And he's got a nice tan from his Long Island... Condo. The light is great out here in the condo. And I was able to... you know, via the kindness of others, get out and play some golf. So I've been and spent a lot of time with the kids out here. We've been out at the beach a lot. Quick, what are their names?

Terrence, Gladfield, Karen, and Scoberg. You don't even have a girl. It's four boys. Okay. Karen. Well, you caught me off guard. How's everybody doing? I always feel like... Jason, we never get to see you anymore. I know. Sean and I were FaceTiming last night. We were like, we haven't seen, we never get to talk to Jason anymore. And even sometimes we do talk to him. And then Sean was like, yeah, no, but we never get to meet the real Jason.

anymore you know what I mean well he only goes out on Saturday nights I was talking about you guys on my break about the fact that you guys do talk all the time And we never talk. Well, you're working 15 hours a day. No, but even when I'm not. You hate a Zoom. And you hate a Zoom. And you're cranky about a Zoom. No, I'm just not. Why am I not that kind of a friend that like talks every day to his best friends? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why.

Because you're always working. And when you have downtime, you just want to be by yourself, which I get. You guys are so good about, do you have like, I mean, I know, Will, you've got like a nightly chat with the great Josh Otlin. Yeah. And probably with Sean P. Hayes. I talk to a lot of people pretty much on the reg. I talk to Sean not every night. It's short for regular listener. It's short for regular. Once a week probably, twice a week maybe. I talk to Clay.

Every other day, I talked to Eli. And Jason, I always text you first before we talk. But you know, it's one of those things. You got to also do it. And it's like... I know. You and Sweet Pete Giles would be great best friends because you guys like spending a lot of time alone. And, you know. We've got a bunch of dolls with pins.

You sent me a nice picture from your trip with that bucket, that sweet-ass Sergio Zucchini bucket hat that I bought you last year. Yeah, and I showed you. It was at good use. And don't you have a collection of puppets that you play with, Jason? Yeah, they talk to me all the time. And... You're also still really good friends with your gummies. Yeah. Oh, my God. I talk to them. They never speak to me, but I'm speaking to them all the time.

Can we please just give, I think the kids usually say a shout out to, a holla or whatever to our new host. And they might holla back young. Yeah. Of our... Of our podcast, Bad Dates. We have a new host, Joel Kim Booster. He's hilarious. He's going to be guiding us through all the legendary and insane true bad date stories the amazing guests reveal with all of their gory details you loved in season one.

Yeah, it sounds so natural when you say it like that. Yeah. But no, this is our smart list media show called Bad Dates. Yeah, we love this show. It was with Jamila Jamil, and now it's with Joel Kambuser, and it's going to be just as great. And, you know, everybody has bad dates. Everybody can relate to them.

Yeah, we can relate to it. And JKB is going to, by the way, my same initials, fun fact. JKB, yeah. He's going to walk you through it. Yeah. So you can find new episodes anywhere you get your podcasts. Because, you know, we all know the worst dates. Make the best stories. Ooh, that should be a line. That should be a tagline on the show. I'm really excited. I'm almost as excited about that as I am about my guest. My guest today. You guys are going to be excited too.

first of all man this is nuts because this is one of those people that I have and I don't want to embarrass him and he kind of knows that I don't know But I super look up to him, which is not the most articulate thing I've ever said. But it is just it. I have been such a fan of what this guy does for so long. And there's an authenticity to who he is and how he is. he does it that I've always just really responded to and frankly so have

So have audiences around the world. Millions. Well, I mean, look, he's been nominated for like 120 awards. He's won 70 of them and everything. 70. Yeah, like from Critics' Choice to Gotham Awards to Independent Spirit Awards to MTV Movie Awards to Satellite Awards, Saturn Awards, Teen Choice Awards, Film Critics Awards, Green Actors Guild Awards, Primetime Emmy Awards, Golden Globe Awards, and BAFTA Awards.

and Academy Awards. Christian Bale. The old school Academy Awards. He doesn't have 70 wins. I mean, he's good, that guy, but Christian Bale, but he doesn't have 70 wins. This guy. This guy, you don't remember him. from his first television appearance, which was on Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood way back in the way. I might. In the day. You might remember him as co-starring with David Letterman on the Mary Tyler Moore Hour. You're more likely to remember him from things like...

Mr. Mom, Gung Ho, Michael Keaton. But to me, he is my Batman. You guys, it's Michael Keaton. Welcome. Welcome to the show. There he is. Michael. He's got sunglasses on. Why do you have sunglasses on? Sorry. Because I'm pretentious. Forget about that whole authentic thing. I had sunglasses on.

Now you're going to wipe it out. Yeah. Well, this is interesting. Hello. Thanks. Hi. How are you? Welcome. The preamble.

It's obnoxious, I know. No. First of all, I was going to be a smartass, but after Will being so sweet, now I can't be. No, you can't. Please do. Please be a smartass. Oh, I can? Oh, okay. Please do. I would think that if there's one... area one format one show one could be a smart this yeah yeah it's half the title welcome yeah where are we finding you where's that pretty pretty wall that looks like a cabin of some sort this is uh well this is my home

in Montana. Well, this is the cabin of the property because the other house is being rebuilt. Did it burn down? Not down. But see? See what? See, smartass. I can't help it. You're going to have to bear with me. Yeah, you threw something out there, and now it's hurtful. So, yeah, and this little house was reassembled from a... from up the valley or down the valley up the valley uh many years ago but that's where i am that's where i'm sitting

That's so nice. But, you know, listen to the whole thing, how you guys do this. I have so many questions. Sure, go ahead. Hit us. Do you validate personal? Do we do? It's stickers. Is one of your questions... why would anybody listen to you idiots? No, no, no. We can't figure it out, you know. Well, let me ask this. Yeah. You all have either adapted or you always had it.

You all now have like a radio voice. Did you always have this radio voice? We're learning from Will. Will makes millions with those pipes. Yeah, I did. Give him a professional grade. Seriously, Jason, you've got kind of a calm. groovy thing going, you know, like you're laid back. It's gummy induced. Yeah, well, however you get in there, you get that. Mine's just annoying in Chicago. No, yours is very witty. Okay, well, there you go. I'm coming to you in a minute.

Here comes Will. And Will just kind of, you know, I didn't know, I swear to God this is true, when I would see those Reese's commercials, I'd say, that dude's funny. I swear to God I didn't know who. I didn't know who it was. There's a few people out there I'm looking at right now, and I saw, I watched these commercials. I saw a guy the other day. He's so, I don't know who the hell he is. He's so funny. And so good in it. And you're reminded of how hard it is.

To crack open, to have people see you, to find a spot, you know? With just your voice. Yeah, no, seriously. Okay, Sean, I have a question for you. Okay, yeah. Did you and I not... Many, many years ago, you were already nodding, right? We met a long time ago because you were working for a...

Don't embarrass him now. He's about to give you, he's just olive branching it, and then you cut him off with the fucking many times? What's wrong with you, Sean? He'll smile you right through the night. Jesus, fuck. He'll smile you right through the night. Go ahead.

That's right. That's his superpower. You used to work for, am I wrong? You used to work for a catering company or something. Is this true when you were getting started? When I first moved, the very first year, I worked at a restaurant called Red. And then part of that was to, you know, sometimes people would, oh, I'm doing a wedding. So I do like to make an extra hundred bucks, I would help out like. Yes. Yeah. And it was.

And I met you at a party, didn't I? That's right, yes. And I said, who's this funny guy? This guy's so witty. Let's hear this. That was like over 30 years ago. Yeah. What an impression. And also, but I kept meeting you over and over, and Michael, we can cut this if you'd like, so don't worry. And I kept meeting you over and over because you used to date Julie Bowen.

For a minute? Yeah, it was great. Yeah, and I used to be friends with Julie Bowen, and that I would always run into at parties. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why cut it? By the way, why cut it? But also, you know what you could say, so that you don't have to cut it, say, and also we both know Julie Bowen. You could have said that. Are you fucking...

Today, Sean, what the fuck is going on? You don't hopped up on Pop-Tart sugar. Yeah. It's true. I'm kind of flying. Jason's on a gummy. I'm on a Pop-Tart. Sean got fired from that job, right, Sean? You ate into their profits? By the way, no. Michael, who was it at? I think it was at, who played Goose in the original?

What's his name? Anthony Edwards. Oh, Anthony Edwards. It was at Anthony Edwards' house, and he was having a wedding for somebody. I don't know, but don't go deeper, because you already know. Poor Julie in a bind. Now Julie's in a bind.

She's having to explain to somebody where she was. It was so easy just to say, yes, we did. That's what happened. Yes, sir. Somebody's saying, fucking Julie was, remember she wasn't around? It turns out she was hanging. Jesus. No, but you, but I must, I will say every single time I ran into. to you, whether it was when I was around Julie or not.

One of the nicest guys always, always, always. Oh, well, thanks. Yeah, always. And super funny and allowed me to be funny in front of you. You were very generous. I like funny people. Michael, I don't know if you know this, too. Our mutual friend is Courtney Cox from years ago. a good friend of ours, and Jason was just on vacation with her, we were talking about, and I remember saying to Courtney, I used to be, this is like 10 years ago, I go,

What's Michael Keane like? I used to flip out because I was such a fan of yours for so long. Oh, yeah. Still is. Probably still is. Still is. And so what I want to get into, and that's going to get me to my first thing, which is... Two things. Two movies that to me were like, and they're not underrated because they were big hits, but first of all, Mr. Mom to me was a genre changer.

Nobody done a movie like that. You did it with such ease. And the great part was it wasn't putting down a stay-at-home parent. In fact, it was pumping it up. 100%. And it was so, to me, that was what was so interesting about it. You know what I mean? Because especially in that time, those were different days back then. But you did it in this way that kind of took that on and flipped it on its head. What was it like?

reading that script, getting that offer, deciding whether to do it, shooting it, all of it. I've always loved that movie, man. So I'm really glad you brought this up. First of all, and let's get this out of the way because I kind of hate this part. I'm a giant fan of all three of you guys.

But here's why that's a really good question, and I'm glad you asked it. Because, you know, I'll sometimes when I'm doing, I don't do a lot of them, but I'm doing an interview or being interviewed or something, I will actually volunteer Mr. Mom. for a bunch of reasons. A, it was ahead of its time. Yeah. And how it came to be was, and it was John Hughes' first, yeah, I think it was the first script he sold. Wow.

And then he became John Hughes. Yeah, John Hughes wrote it. And I was sitting, and he was pitching me. He didn't have to pitch it. You guys all will know this. When you're reading a script, a comedy script, and they don't... The good ones don't come around very often. No. And you laugh out loud by yourself, let's say.

two, three, four times a script, you go, whoa, that's huge. Am I right? That's huge. That's the number, too. It's only about two or three or four times, but it's like, that's amazing. It is amazing. And the average layman, let's say, wouldn't know that. But that's how it works. So I remember saying, I remember actually one thing he did, and it was an area that I generally don't laugh or find funny.

was that the baby had had had diarrhea and i i my head went back i was in my haven't back so far it hit the wall in the back my head hit the wall i thought because it was how how it was presented how it was set up and where it came in the script, you know, where he got me, you know, where you were at that point. And I went, boom, right there. That thing kills me right now. So I sat with him. I said, I listened to him. He was not without an ego. And I liked him. But I said,

You should direct this thing. You know how to make this movie. He said, no, I'm not going to direct. He was a Chicago ad guy, you know. And so what I knew about it was, A, it was funny. And I also liked... kind of the time i i the reason i thought i couldn't do it was i looked like i was about 10 years old and i thought and then we had to kind of write that in because i thought okay let's say he married young

And how do we really believe this? Because as you all three will know, it can be as outrageous, as funny as like Jim Carrey or the craziest guys are. They set up their own reality, right? So once you, it's like.

Carson used to say, you know, you buy the premise, you buy the joke. So if you set, you go, yeah, that's crazy what he's doing, but it's actually not crazy. In his world. That's right, in that world. So I said, how do we... believe this guy how do we because that's the only this thing that's going to work and there was a lot of rewriting on the set i will say between me and my then manager partner harry colombie and and some other people it was a great cast

And so what I dug about it was, A, it was funny. I liked playing a father because I liked being a father. I liked what it was about. And it was ahead of its time in that, at the time, the U.S. economy was not very good. And it was hard, you know, the unemployment was not great. And the idea of a woman going out to the workforce as crazy as this sounds whenever we shot that 80-something.

83? 83 was not that unusual, but it was fucking unusual by comparison, right? And I like the, you know, I have three sisters and a mom. Most... people who work for me are women i didn't plan it that way it's just how it is so i'd like that whole setup in the premise and i thought

Okay, now how do we make, now let's just make this funny. So it was already funny, but there were things, because the director, who was a talented guy, but he was not a comedy guy, we had to work on, let's say. And there was a lot of rewriting.

going on and as an example, the whole chainsaw thing came about on the morning because as we were getting ready to do it, there was no chainsaw scene. There was no... that didn't exist that he martin the great great late great martin mo yeah count comes in and says you know

He's taken Terry off. I have so much to say about this because not enough credit is given to Terry Garr. I'm going to get into Terry Garr in a second, so keep going. Okay, I'll finish up. Sorry, going on too long. No, I love it. So...

That scene was one thing, right? But what I knew was, I said, but how does this guy feel? How insecure is he right now and how emasculated is he right now? And when Martin walks in, just... fucking cocksure you know just beautifully played like looking so brilliantly arrogant looking at me and i and i'm thinking

Okay, what would this guy do? And he's panicked. He's not ready for this. So I said to the prop guy, he'd get me like, I don't know, like he's pretending like he's working on the house, you know, like tools or something. And he goes, he shows me a chainsaw. I go.

Yes. I said, run down, you have any of those goggles? And I go, yeah, he goes and gets the goggles. And then we just played it from there, you know, obviously insecure, obviously scared to death. Overcompensating. Overcompensating out of his ass. And then...

And then the 220, 220 line was Martin's. It was Martin's line. What was the line again? You know, I said, yeah, we're probably going to rewire. I didn't know what I was talking about. I said, yeah, we're probably going to rewire the whole thing. And that was the end of that. And Martin said, you know what you should say? Martin says something like, how are you going to wire it? And I go, I don't know. He says, you should say, you know.

220, 221, whatever it takes. That's Martin Wall's line. I keep telling people that. That was not me. And by the way, you know, the movie you did before that, Night Shift, I watched over and over and over. Oh, my God. I love that movie. And the one line that stuck out in my head, of course, is when you're like, we could just feed the tuna the mayonnaise so you don't have to get it open. And as a kid, I was like, that's such a genius idea. Just feed the tuna fish.

You know, really, now that I was just listening to Michael talk, it strikes me that I'll bet you Michael Keaton is an enormous influence on your style. I mean, you actually remind me of one another. That's a compliment to me, not to him. That's a compliment. You're complimenting me. Yeah, for sure. You know what I mean? Unintentionally.

Sorry. I know, I know. Because, yeah, and I meant it when I said it. It's a huge influence. And I wanted to get into, because then there were so many other films, too, that I thought deserved a lot of attention. One of them being Clean and Sober, which I think is a phenomenal.

And not just because I could relate to what he went through, but I just think it's a great, with the great Emmett Walsh, I mean, there's just some amazing moments in that film. But I do want to talk about Terry Garth for one second because I also loved... Terry Garr. And what was that like? I mean, what an unbelievable talent. Am I right? Oh, man. And who, you know, you look at all the really great, funny women. There's so many now. And there were...

Kind of, relatively speaking, so few then. They didn't write the great parts for them back then, right? No, no. And, you know, look at Terry, man. She had everything. She still has everything. She's so sweet. I just love her. I think Catherine Han is like a...

Yes, totally. Yeah, and you look at, you know, she's witty and funny and feminine and masculine and all that stuff and just could... just you know just just had it you know and has it and yeah and helped me you know like you guys know you know you can't do it on your own you know you need somebody to set you up for sure we'll be right back

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But Michael, your ability to find material or material find you and casts and directors that find you and you find like, your career is just like, I don't... And I don't want to embarrass you, but like Willie said, but your ability to jump from comedy to drama so seamlessly. For so long, your run, your relevancy is just, it's been going for so long and continuing on this great escalating pitch that I hope you're as proud of as you deserve to be.

be because you're just an incredible actor that knows how to make people laugh when you're playing a part and make people cry like you're not a comic you're not a you know like so i just i i can you talk a little bit about um I won't ask you to explain how you see yourself, but what attracts you to certain stuff? What's your goal?

I will speak about it, but I kind of want to stop because that's just too good. I'll leave it at that. Well, thank you, first of all. Just can't label you, you know, and that takes a lot of... Yeah, okay, well, let's start with that. So, first of all, let's... Thank good fortune and all that. I don't believe in luck. I've never believed in luck. But I believe in good fortune. Dude, I literally say the same. Really? Because it's true.

It's true. I say I'm fortunate. I'm not lucky. I'm fortunate. No, man. You know why? You earned what you did. All three, a lot of us, we all earned it. We were our asses off to the right. There's a lot of talented people out there that, you know, luck plays a key.

huge part of it because if everybody who was talented got the jobs there wouldn't be any left you know I mean that's right plays a big part of it so we're all appreciative of that yeah but I'm grateful I'm grateful you know great yeah so so There was the only plan, and by the way, I'm breathing rarefied air right now. I realize that there's, I don't know how many other guys there are. I saw Jeff the other day, Bridges, who lives over the mountain range here. Another one, exactly like that.

Yeah, he, you know, I was saying, you know, there's not many of us doing this, and I want to keep doing it, but I want to keep doing it. I always wanted to do it how I wanted to do it. I know that sounds arrogant and kind of selfish, but I just... I just knew I'd be happiest that way. And so every time I had a television show that got canceled, which was two of them, three of them, I guess.

I could not tell you how happy I was because I felt freer to move on to the next thing. So if I had a strategy, and I don't know that it was a strategy, it was only this. Right after night shift. There were some things offered to me, and when I think back, I go, wow, that took a fairly sizable setup. I said, no, I knew I wanted to do the Mr. Mom. And then there were a couple others that I thought, I don't know, like all three of you, I'm sure, I would think, you say, but I really have a...

pretty big imagination, and I'm curious about a lot of things, and I'd like to play other things. I'd like to explore other things. I'd like to see, and if it doesn't work, then I know at least I have this for a few years. I can maybe grind out five, six, eight years. of me being that guy. And I thought, but I think what will happen is people are gonna get very bored.

very quickly with this kind of guy they saw in night shift etc and so i said well then let me lay down something early and see if that works because that will potentially open up a wider range for me and i don't know if this is gonna do it but that was the only conscious thing the other the other is you just trust your gut and and so i made certain decisions early on i was told don't do clean and sober I don't do Pacific Heights.

Don't do a lot of things. And I said, yeah, but I want to do those things and I want to lay it down. So I passed up certain movies that turned out to be great movies. And I don't want to talk about them, but they turned out to be great things. And I probably didn't register. one or two of those probably should have, but I was fearful that, look, I always feel like, and this is my own, so I need to talk to somebody about this, because I always feel...

Man, if I'm in two movies a year, people are going to go, enough already. We are so frigging sick of you. You know, we just like enough. And so I had that and that. That's not a healthy thing. But I just wanted to lay down the potential possibility that, well, wait a minute now. I don't know what to do with him. And the risk is, as you guys know, well, that could be dangerous. And I just rolled the dice because I always bet on me. Don't ask me why, but I do.

But you also had this great combination between leading man and character actor. Yeah. That's what I, for me, just as a consumer of you, a fan, you never really... took the junk food, the celebrity stuff. You always were just playing an actor. You were either a character actor or a leading man and sort of this great ratio between both and comedy and drama. And then...

For my money, like, this incredible, you know, validation in Birdman, you know, at a moment where a filmmaker and an actor come together, sort of... in this incredible little recipe between the two that you wouldn't normally put together. And then like, uh,

I don't know. There's been a few combinations like that that was just so exciting to see that combination. And then, of course, the film itself and the concept of the film as well. Just everything coming together and just a rocket ship. And it was so exciting for me.

to see just that the story in the community and then also just the film itself well but also also michael like you know as jason sort of said you you you kind of defied genre in that you couldn't be put in a thing you got to be a movie star on your own.

on your own terms, right? You got to kind of, you know, in a time where there really aren't really movie stars in that way anymore. I mean, there are, but it's different. But you were in like the height of the movie star era, and yet you were able to kind of... Think about it in that year you were talking about like doing stuff you wanted to do. In 1988, you did Beetlejuice and Clean and Sober.

Now, you want to talk about two movies on different ends of the spectrum, okay? And then the next year, you did the first film, and we're going to get into Batman in a second, because it's the one thing that I feel a real kinship with you about. But you were part of a lot of... of firsts like Will's kind of saying like Mr. Mom nobody was doing a comedy like that you were the first one to do a comedy kind of like that and then Beetlejuice and then Batman like you were the first to do

A lot of things. Is that something you look for in scripts? Well, I was going to say, so you do that. In that one year, you do Beetlejuice and Clean and Sober. What was that year like for you? You made your agent look fantastic that year. Yeah, exactly. Meanwhile, that's right. And at the time, that's not what happened. As you guys know, it didn't happen that way. Tim sought me out because we had...

He sought me. He said, I'd like to talk to that guy. And so, yeah, that, you know, and I will also credit Elvis Mitchell, whom I'm actually going to speak with later. And Elvis ended up working for me and my partner Harry. for a couple years because we we read this guy we thought he was we just dug what he was about and and liked him and he worked for us for a minute and and and i credit

Elvis, I don't think there was, I don't know what the award was. It was either New York, I don't know what it was, New York Film Critics Award. There was something, they didn't have an event, and Elvis kind of said, excuse me. what Will just said, basically. And then they said, okay, sure, we'll give it to him. And then I have somewhere a piece of paper or something. But that didn't come via, that came from Tim. asking about me, about wanting to meet me about Beetlejuice through David Geffen.

And the clean and sober thing came, and that was another thing that people said, you don't want to do that. My agent literally at the time said, I don't think you should do that. And I said, yeah, I'm pretty sure I should, just because. I want to. This is a really well-written script. You guys know this. I mean, it's hard to read, to find something that's, the writing will drive everything ultimately right now, whether it comes together, that's another.

story but so so i'll run through this i'm sorry and so that in one year i didn't plan any of that that just happened i just said Man, this guy Tim Burton, he is something. I don't know what he is. I just know for sure he's something. And when he tried to explain Beelgeuse to me, I said,

And they said, what did you think? I said, I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is. I don't understand it. But I like that guy. And he said, he wants to talk to you. Will you just give him another one? I go, yeah, all right. I'll go meet him again. And I go talk to him. And I said, yeah, well. I'm still the same. I still don't understand. I say this about Tim, who I freaking love. I would say in his life, he is...

You know, a declarative sentence, you know, with a subject, a verb, and, you know, and then a period at the end. I'd say he's completed maybe eight. Maybe eight declarative simple sentences. He just doesn't think like that. That's really funny. He's not that guy, you know. And so I'd meet him and I'd go, okay, I'm getting closer. Then he said two things to me. And I went, all right.

I think this guy's worth it. So I said, give me a minute. And I went home, and I started thinking about it. And he said a couple things, and I asked for wardrobe from every period of time to go to my house. I was renting this. I was empty. I didn't know furniture. And I just started handpicking stuff. And then I, there was something about, that I found kind of spooky and creepy about, like...

Bad teeth and a semi-broken nose and a walk. And then I just started going to work. And I said, you know what? There's something about this guy. I really dig him. Fuck it. I don't know. I don't know. Does this work? And so that happened. And then Clean It Sober was just another script. It wasn't like I said. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, Michael. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. The character of Beetlejuice. First of all, half the movie, you're in like old-timey prison garb. Right.

And you've got this fucking, and you've got like mascara on that covers half your face, and your hair is thickening up, and you've got this voice, and you go, yeah, and you're like, yeah, say what you want. Yeah, it's so good. And you fucking, and I'm like, you want to talk about taking a big fucking swing? Oh, yeah. I mean, how do you go, how do you show up day one? Are they like, okay, guys, let's rehearse. All right, we're going to block the scene. And I'm like, and you come, I go, eh.

Say it, say it to your daughter. Like, what the fuck is going, what's this guy doing? I mean, it's a lot, and it fucking, you nailed, you drilled it in a way that you couldn't even. Did you preview that for Tim before the first rehearsal? No, that's very insightful, Will. Because you're right. No, I didn't. And that was the beauty of, and is the beauty of working with him.

You're really just making stuff. Like, let's go make stuff, you know? And so, so we talked and nobody was paying attention. There was, the budget was small and no one was paying attention. And we were down in Raleigh Studios. Oh, my God. And I said, okay, I don't know. Here's what's weird about this. Think of this. We never tested it. We never...

We never tested it. I said, it's like, I said, here's what I want to do. It's like he stuck his finger in a thing. He starts here and he goes up from there. It's never like, there's no arc. He goes from 10 to 15. Right, right. And I said, and I don't know why, I don't have an actor's explanation for any of this shit. Like, the great thing about this...

is you never could say my character wouldn't do that. Right, right, right. There are no rules. There are no rules. The freedom was unbelievable. So will, that's insightful because... I go Tim had the suit. Tim had the eyes, Tim had the pale makeup. And he said something to me about, he's from all different, he appears out of time, you know, in the 20s, in the 18, there's no, he's not connected at any time or anything. He might go underground.

for years until he's released so I said underground I said how about mold let's do some mold up the face you know and then and then I said okay you know the hair is like it has to Stick all the way out. But the striped suit was Tim's vision. He started showing me pictures of all his stuff. And so on that day, when I showed up, I went, I don't know.

Here we go. And as soon as I walk in the first scene, you can see him, his eyes get big and he lights up and he goes, yes. And then, you know, it's the ultimate yes and because you go, oh, I didn't know we were going to do that. Hold on a minute. If you're going to do that, let me show you something. See when you go up there. This is what that's going to be. He had to explain to me what was going to happen. And I went, oh.

I think I get it. Because of the visual effects? Yeah, because of the visual effects. What happened later? Yes, yes, yes. Gotcha. Fuck, man. Dude, you're out on a, I love this so much. Out on a ledge. I love the idea that you're out on a fucking ledge and you don't know where you're fucking going. That to me is my. And then give a shit. And don't give, that's my fucking dream come true, man. Yeah, I know. It's, It's so fun to talk to you guys about this because there's three people who know...

Kind of know what I'm talking about. But then you land it into the most. But then you go to clean and sober. Exactly, which is the most like no tricks, no makeup, no wardrobe. It's just people talking and being raw and like I'm being honest. It's Mike Tyson walking in with trunk. and two boxing gloves.

Yeah. How many people over the years have come up to you and told you that clean and sober had a profound effect on their life? Lots. And, boy, that means something to me. You know, so I say this, and I don't care what people think. I'm so blessed that I get to do some things. that every once in a while, that'll happen. How many people have that job? A lot of people would like that job. I have that job. That's why I did worth. That's why I did my life.

Yeah, all my life. And you go, you've got to do these things if you've got the opportunity. You've been given this thing. Yeah, I earned it, but I've been also given it. So if you can throw... everybody a solid, fucking do it, you know, and then go make some money. So speaking of which, speaking of making money, you go in 1989, You once again team up with Tim Burton and you do Batman. Yeah. And that is...

the fucking game changer. Yeah. That's the game changer of game changer. And, I mean, in a lot of ways, you doing that... allowed me to make some money. Oh, yeah. All right. So I guess I kind of fucking owe you, dude. A little bit. A little bit. A little bit. You did the first I Am Batman. By the way, I'll give you my business manager's address. Just Venmo. Just do Venmo. Yeah, just Venmo. Straight Venmo. And Michael, I just got out of high school when you...

that came out, when Batman came out. And I was like, wait, the guy from Night Shift that I've seen a million times in Mr. Mom, he's... Batman? Like, and then I didn't, I heard about it. Take the look of your face again. No, but wait. Hang on, wait for it. And then you saw, I even saw the trailer. I was like, oh my God.

I can't, I mean, he nailed it in the trailer. I remember seeing the poster for it. I was like, oh my God. I remember seeing the poster, just the symbol of the Batman. And I was like, what? I was like, what the fuck is this? So how about some credit to Tim? Yeah. for going, yeah, that guy. And people went, what are you, buddy, your mind? And he went, no, that guy. So I don't think enough credit has been given to him. Me, I went.

We had the meeting. He and I sat. He said, take this home and read it. Tell me what you think. And I remember where I was sitting, where the window was, and he and I were talking. And I said, well, so here's what I think, but nobody's going to do that. And he went. That's exactly right. And so he had to go to them and say, no, that guy, and to his credit, boy, you know, he changed everything. He changed everything.

I could talk. I mean, Marvel exists. All of it exists because of that movie, dude. A lot of people made a lot of money off me and Tim and Jack and everybody else. Sean has nutted over a thousand times to Marvel movies because of... that movie. Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. A thousand nuts. There's that. Yeah. There's that. Yeah. You can't put a price on that. No, you can't put a price on that. But it did. It launched the, you know, and ever since then, we've been

We've all been fucking under the tyranny of IP. But, you know, but you did start that. Good way to put it. And it was, I stole that from somebody. You're right. But it's true. But you guys started it. You and Tim Burton. But you as the face, Tim is incredible, obviously, like you said. Well, and you kind of invented the whole...

Like Will just said, like the whole thing. Like the tone and the feel and the look and everything. Yeah, there was humor to it, but it was also serious and there was action and it was dark. Yeah. But you know, Will, there was very little humor in it. And, you know, maybe we can't. No, but you had moments, though, as Bruce Wayne. No, I mean in the original script. In the original script. Oh, really?

Yes. And so, you know, maybe it's just an instinct, but there were scenes. Because even that, man, that pressure was on Tim so big. Pressure was on all of us. And you felt it every...

You know, you go to the studio, people flying in, you know, because this was a big swing for everybody. But there wasn't, and I don't know if it's the instinct or not, you know, a gut feeling saying, well, wait a minute, you know, a lot of this kind of... darkness i mean maybe maybe maybe not so much so so as an example in that scene where the big long table where vicky vale comes over

And I'm having a date and I'm so nervous, you know, and I go, do I tell her, do I not tell her? I can't let her know, but I really like this woman. And she's sitting there and she asked me about the room and I said, Tim, you know, it would be funny. And there were a couple of these moments. I said, you know, if he goes, yeah, yeah, and then he realizes, I don't think I've ever been in this room before. You know what I mean? Which says everything about the character. You know, you go.

Who's this lonely guy? He's rambling around a house, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's great sort of like high-low of him. Yeah. I love that kind of stuff, that kind of awareness of it and not taking himself too seriously really in that moment. Because there's a way that that could come across as a dick. And it wasn't. You got it. It all fell within.

the context of a guy who was really rich but his parents were murdered, but all that stuff, right? Yeah. And kind of a weird dude, you know? A very weird dude. You know, but you...

What was it like when that movie came out and it was, as you said, it was a big swing for everybody, a big swing for you and your career, a big swing for Tim Burton, a big swing for the studio. They put a lot of money into it. The books have been written about this movie and how it got made, et cetera. And when that movie came out, comes out and it's a fucking smash hit. How many...

How many high fives? Did you have to bandage your hand from the high fives? Or was it the opposite? Was it, oh, this is going to be a level of exposure and responsibility now that could change things and it might not be comfortable? More of that. Jason immediately looks at the negative. Yeah, or was it that? Now I'm obligated to go and say thank people for paying the money. I have junkets I have to go to. Now all of a sudden, now I've got to talk to my...

Is this manager? It's good news. Is it good news? It's good news for you. Now, did you guys know, did you guys know the chemistry would work like Jason Brink is, you know, he's neat. Everyone probably needs to do what he just did. Did you guys go? Oh, fuck. That's why we hired the guy. Just bring in a dork. That's why we, yeah, bring him in. Well, we've had the good fortune, guys, I'm going to say, of being friends for 20 years. So we knew. Don't touch it.

Yeah, we have a good little dance. It's like the guys on TBS, you know, Charles Barkley and those guys. Someone just needs to say to them, don't touch it. Don't touch it. I love those guys. Yeah. We'll be right back. Hey, all you underwears. Are you sick of feeling bounced around? Have you got a bad case of juggler's jock? Is your junk drawer on life support?

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You must have. Was it not what Jason was saying that you felt an obligation? No, I was going there. I liked that, actually. Yeah, you were thinking about the deal you'd already struck for the sequel. No, you woke up and you're like, did you buy a Ferrari? What the fuck did you do?

you do that next morning? Got a tattoo, a Batman tattoo. You're like, I never even want a Ferrari, but I better fucking get one now. I don't even want one. That's true. You know, I actually did investigate getting... Ferrari one time yes I actually did

And I remember thinking, I'm too lazy for the amount of work and effort I'm going to have to put into this. I'm just too lazy. You mean the clutch and the stick, right? Yeah. Well, not that so much, but where do I have to be careful? Where can I really drive it? Is this really worth it? I'm blessed that I don't need a lot of stuff because I'm just lucky that I don't need a lot of stuff. I'm not so cool. I just don't.

I love that you're thinking through the practicality of a Ferrari. Yeah, I know. There's nothing practical about it. You can't valet it. Like, what do you do? Is it good on ice? All of a sudden, I'm the least interesting, most unfun guy. Oh, I don't know if this is practical. I'm going to put my clubs. There's no back seat. Exactly. You must have been elated, and it must have felt like a good vindication. Now, look, you'd had a lot of success before, but this was like a different...

This was a different thing, I bet. I let myself enjoy it. It was global. You let yourself enjoy it. Yeah, and also what Jason... They're called the downer. Let's just refer them to the down. And a little bit of that, say, whoa, this is a lot. I don't love this kind of stuff. Yeah, and sometimes knowing you...

Knowing who you are now and all your success with all of the unbelievable, your resume is just one of the most impressive ever. It really is. It's just incredible. I always, you know, you don't think about, oh, well, that guy probably had...

He had to audition. Like, I just see you as a movie star. But when you're younger, you had to audition and start out, you know, just like all the rest of us. And it's hard to imagine you walking into a room. What made you, didn't you grow up in, where did you grow up? Right outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. And so what got you to L.A.? Like, what made you want to do it? Well, boy, we could go... Let me... We have 10 minutes left. Okay. For this one answer. Okay, right.

Yeah, I auditioned a couple times. What's your next question? No, no. I'm kidding. We have an hour, whatever you want. I was this kid who started to get very interested in, I thought, could a person do this? Yeah, because. I come from so not that background except my funny family my funny brothers and sisters and a big family and youngest so there's that right so when I went to school I was always curious because my friends and I were

The guys I hung with tightly and some young women at the time were funny. And I'd like to be around them. And I knew what my taste was. And so I... I was not a theater kid, however, I did take a couple theater classes, so I was clearly curious about this, and I was not very good, I don't think.

I auditioned for a play. I got a little role in a play in school. Didn't really do anything for me. And then I dropped out of school to make some money to go back to school. And in the interim, I was doing this play in Pittsburgh, Sticks and Bones. And at the same time working at...

the PBS station where I'd do everything and everything. And at the same time, I was, while I was in school, I was really into the lampoon and I was really into everything funny. And I was just, and so I started writing. And I thought, I don't know if I can even do this other thing. If I ever try it, maybe I could write this. You're just a kid trying to figure things out, right? Yeah. So I said, well, I'm kind of liking this. And I just trusted myself. And I said, you know what?

This is either going to happen or not happen. So I started to go to New York, where I was about to move, and at the last minute I went to California thinking I'd only stay there for the summer. And I was writing, and I started performing stand-up and doing a play. And the stand-up thing worked in New York like that off the bat. I mean, when I say worked, it didn't work. It worked in that I got asked back the first time I showed up.

That's a big deal. So you did that, and I went, I really love this, because it was theater. To get to the auditioning part, so now I'm going to go to California, and I'm going to do this real fast. And I'm sleeping on floors like everybody else. crashing with buddies and working in restaurants and doing all the things, parking cars, doing everything everybody does. The thing that turned it around in terms of the audition process was I was an okay auditioner.

And I tell when young people ask me, I tell them this all the time. Forget the want. I want. I need. Forget. Throw that out. You're fucked. Mm-hmm. You have the job. The job is for the next 15 minutes, you're at work. Right. The audition is the job. That's the gig. Right. So you got to go to work today for 15 minutes. Right. You know, it's excruciating. It's a horrible setup for, you know, it's, there's nothing good about it, but that, that was the, once I said.

I'm not going to look at this like, I got to get this. I turned the corner where I said, you know what, man? I felt pretty good today about what I did. So I'm just going to look at it like at 3.30 out at MTM Studios or wherever I was going to be. Yeah, I'm going to work. And so I thought, yep, get ready to go to work. What a great approach. My job only lasted 20 minutes. And then I went to my regular job, and I said, I don't know. That's great. I love that. It freed me up.

Totally freed me up. Of course it did. And I like the idea of also telling that to young actors because people, you know, they ask me for advice all the time and I always say... you know, fuck off. So now I have something that I can say I came up with. Get that camera out of my face. Who the fuck? Who gave you? My parents know your parents. Shut the fuck. No, but that is such great advice. Who gave you that?

You know, I think the other thing is, it kind of falls in the same line of like, once you realize, once you get older and you've done a bit more in doing what we do, you start to, and you get to the other side and you have a chance to direct JB. and produce stuff and whatever, you realize when they, that they are looking to solve a problem, right? That they want somebody to come in. They want, what you don't know is a young actor. They're on your side.

They're on your side. They want you to get this job. They got another character to cast. Yeah, because once I figured that out, I was like, and I remember casting something with Mitch and being like, and people coming in and going, oh, fuck, I hope this dude's good, man. And I used to think that they're like, oh, show me. No.

We were like, fuck it up. This guy's great. Yeah, I want to check the box. I want to check that box. Yeah, but you guys are actors, so you're sympathetic. You go, you know, you go, you know what that feels like, right? Yeah. So, you know, yeah, you know, you don't want something. There's no merit in watching somebody go down. No, there's no merit to it. It's the worst. It's the fucking worst feeling.

Wait, I want to talk about, because, you know, I wanted to... But you did, I'm sorry, I was just going to say, he was just talking about the auditioning shot, if you don't mind, just one second. Oh, yeah. made me think of another subject. No, I'm just kidding. No, while we're on the subject, is that...

And you were talking about MTM. You did, I wasn't kidding in my intro, you were on that two different iterations of the Mary Tyler, one called Mary and the other called Mary. Really? Mary Tyler Moore Hour, is that what it's called or something? Yeah, yeah. With Dave Letterman.

With Letterman. Wait, what? Letterman bailed after the first one, yeah. I stuck around. That's so funny. And they were in the fucking cast together. I didn't know that. In 1978, Michael, is that right? Wait, did you work with Jimmy Burroughs? Jimmy Burrows... Wait, Jimmy Burrows directed... Wait, Jason, you and I... You know one of my favorite jobs ever? I always really liked Gary Goldberg.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I always really liked him. Good guy. And his wife, I remember Diana. Courtney actually was just singing his praises two days ago at the same time she was singing yours. huh yeah she's well he's he gave me this gig that was one of my favorite i'll talk to you about that mtm thing but one of my favorite things i ever did was this character i did on um

Tony Randall had a show for a minute. He had a couple of shows, I guess. Many shows, probably. But he had a thing called the Tony Randall Show, and Gary Goldberg hired me because he had seen me do something. I think he gave me the job, but I may have auditioned. But night school, it was called Ed's Night School, I think. And Tony Randall taught law at a night school. And I played this kind of dude, you know. And, you know, like kind of a little dense, which is always...

Fun and hard to play. Playing stupid is so... Will has no problem playing stupid. It's my fucking... That's your sweet spot. Anyway, so I played this thing, and as an aside... I learned as much about comedy from watching Tony Randall because he would kind of direct because he knew more than anybody anyway. And he... His precision was so, and I was about, like I thought, no man, you know, freewheeling. His precision was so impressive that I remember going, whoa.

pay attention to that you know where you know where and the how and the you know it was just really an education so yeah when i was when i was doing that and i i apparently Forgotten the question. Mary Tyler Moore of Grant Tinker. So then that led to all that other stuff. So Letterman bailed after the first. We all thought it was going to be a little something. And she was wonderful.

lady, really liked her. And the guys who were part of that group, who was Jay Tarsus and Tom, you know, those guys, they were part of it. So we went, well, their pedigree is really good. And it wasn't quite what we thought it would be. And Dave bailed. And I stuck around for the second iteration, which was so fun, man. I could afford a Honda, a little Honda Civic. I remember driving to work down to MTM Studios thinking, there's no way this could get better.

There's no way my hair could get better than this. And I was making, you remember, I mean, you go, look what you're making, you know, and it wasn't much. And you go, are you kidding me? I have a little apartment that's relatively clean. You know, I got a car. Oh, man, it's so fucking great. You just hit something. That sweet spot of that, you guys know, too. Like, when you get that...

That first gig where you go like, I'm fucking doing this. I'm doing this. And I'm getting paid, and I'm doing this. I remember the first year of Will & Grace, I was 27 years old. I was like, I'll get fired next week, I'm sure. Sure, right, but it doesn't matter the time. You were on Will and Grace. That's what it is. Michael, I want to go back to The Beetlejuice 2.

Yeah, looks incredible. When you got, yeah, it looks amazing. When you got the, when you said yes to doing that, were you like, oh man, in the first day in the makeup trailer, you're like, why did I put this? I got to put the, why did I say yes? I got to put the wig on. I got to put the fucking dirt on my face. I got to put the black circles. Or you're like, no, this is awesome.

It was, no, it was the second. It was like, this is awesome. Because you have to understand this is a long time in the making, but not... So you'd know it, right? Yeah, because everybody I knew for years were like, why don't they do a sequel? Why don't they do a sequel? So finally it's here. Because you can't recreate what we made. You can't write it.

Imagine trying to write it when a lot of the writing just happened, you know? It wasn't on the page so much, even though some of it was and some of it was terrific and the world was terrific. You go, do that again. You go, it doesn't work like that. Even in the most...

well-written, you know, you could take Larry Gelbart or Neil Simon or any of the brilliant writers and try to duplicate Tootsie. It would have never... you couldn't do it again so imagine trying to do that so obviously that we were never going to do it then for years i thought don't touch that leave that alone man that's a little piece you just leave that alone don't touch it but i liked it so much and tim and i

worked so well together and I liked him so much that every once in a while I would go, what do you think? And the answer was Nat. And then it started getting more interesting to me and I suggested I'd like to do that again. Then that time passed and then I thought it was done. When it came around again, we didn't see scripts now and then, and they just...

You know, they just didn't work. And then these guys kind of got it. And we went, whoa, this could be good. So Tim started talking to me about it. He had to finish something. And so to answer your question, then you say, okay, I'm in. I had done a bunch, I'd direct this movie and I'd act in another movie and another one and I was a little tired and I thought I would like another two months just to chill and kind of ramp it up. And I didn't get it and I thought, fuck it, let's go do it.

So we went to go make it, and as I'm sitting in that makeup trailer that you mentioned, I remember going, this is really fun, and I'm really excited, and I'm nervous because I go, can you pull this off again? And can you do it? Because don't do it if you don't look stupid. Not just for me. Don't fuck this thing up, you know? Right. And so what hit me was I was sitting in the makeup trailer.

going yeah here we go that's right and trying to explain to the woman none of the head it's got a not quite you know talking her through that and then we were getting there and getting ready to do it. And about three days in, I went, there's something wrong and I don't know what's wrong. There's something off. It wasn't horrible. Justin Theroux. It's Justin Theroux. He comes in with all these sleeves on. He's so funny in this. Dude, he's so funny.

I don't buy it. We'll wait and see. I'll be the judge. I'll be the judge. All right. So listen to this. So I'm sitting there. I go, I don't know what this is. And I'm sitting in the makeup trailer. And I'm going, yeah, this is fun. I'm having fun. But what is bugging me? And I looked in the mirror and I went, I got it. I know what it is. And I don't know about you guys.

I don't look at makeup anymore. I should go check more often in the monitor. I know I've made huge errors by not. I don't look at things anymore. Just go do it and I go home. I looked in the mirror and I went, I got it. I know what it is.

This thing we created came out of nowhere. It just came out of this nowhere. When I looked in the mirror, I saw toys. I went, this is fucked up. I saw, you know what I mean? I saw little Beetlejuice toys. You know what I mean? It looked like keychains and it looked like mugs. The commercial part of it that it had become. All the merch. Yeah, and it wasn't that that's a bad thing.

it was oh that perception is yeah we've seen them because we've seen it on t-shirts we've seen that go did you change the look at all no that's interesting i didn't i went A little bit. There was something with the hair that wasn't working. I went, nah, that never really looked exactly like that. And you're trying to like, and then you go, get that.

Whatever it takes to get that out of your brain, just go back to what made you even think of this friggin' thing. It's a derivative. It's based on an impression. I remember feeling that way with writers on who would go... All of a sudden you'd read a script and they'd go, and they'd have your character do something. Yeah. Oh, they want me to do it basically because they saw me do this in other...

but they don't realize that in other times my character did that because it was organic to what was happening. Now they just want to see the trick. They don't want to see what led up to the trick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know what I mean? And you'll never do it as well. Yeah, you'll never do it as well. How did you fix that, Michael? How did you make a friend of that? Psychologically, you had to go wipe that out of your brain, take it out of your brain. Find a new version of them, yeah.

Yeah, you know, when you go on set, go, what was the thing originally? What was this thing originally? Just go be that again. Make it yours again. Yeah, make it yours again. Make it like, how did we come up with this crazy thing? And what was hard about that was...

There were certain things in the... Look, man, I'm on record as saying how good this thing is. I'm not going to go on and on. It's so good. Yeah, I can't wait. When I go on the set, there were things in the script, shows you how smart I am, that I remember reading the script and going, ooh, this could... This could work. I go, I don't know about that. Tim likes that idea. I don't think that idea is good. Three of them.

I was wrong on all three. I was wrong about it. I was dead wrong. When I saw it, I went. He's just a remarkable filmmaker. I mean, the thing, he's never done anything easy. Not once. No. Edward Scissorhands, you know. Yeah. Incredible. His degree of difficulty that he takes on and just drills it every single time.

Yeah. I don't feel like... Except for Carol Nail Clipper Feet. Do you think... Which was underrated, but... Which was... So do you guys do... So you do this, and you've gone on the record saying it's going to be great. I mean, that is a lot of pressure, right? Yeah. And you have this thing, this iconic thing that you guys create, and you're like, I'm sure when you're reading it or you're doing it, you're thinking like,

Fuck, man, if we don't drill this, we got a target on our fucking back. People are going to come for us. Yeah, honestly, I didn't like— But it's team sports, right? You don't really take— It's team sports. Do you take it on, you know, individually? No, right? I mean—

Don't you sort of, do you get that sense when you're working on something that we're all kind of rowing in the same direction and that it's not really on you? If you're healthy, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Do you find yourself in that position as often as you want to, mentally?

Good question. Yeah, mostly, I think. I think there's a part of me, and honestly, I'm not being humble here. There's a part of me that's just plain stupid, I think. There's a part of me that just goes, I don't know. I don't think of some of these things other people think, and I don't know what that comes from.

but I just don't. Sometimes I do, and I certainly was nervous about going back into it, only to say, can I do this? Not just do it and get through it, but go, can you get there? Because it's deserving of you being. yeah being good you know you you need to be be good and in terms of what me talking about i'll tell you when i say i don't care what anybody else thinks of it

I'm willing to say what I think about it because this is just how I feel about it. There's movies I've seen and you guys have seen that people have hated and I went... Not me. I love this movie. Or other movies where you go. I don't get what people are raving about. Me? I don't care. Every person I've ever run into for the rest of my life could say, boy, that... second beaters really sucked, I'd go, not to me. I mean, it has so many elements. It's so beautiful, first of all, physically.

And you kind of care. And I'm telling you, every fucking person is funny in this. I mean, Justin is funny. Catherine is funnier than she was in the first one. And just for the audience, it is a biopic, yeah? Yes. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Based on a true story. It's based on a true story. It's a true story of Beetlejuice, the character who goes across centuries. You know what it is? It's licensed just to go out and be silly. Yeah. I love that.

I love it. Oh, man. Well, look, like we say, we've taken up too much of your time. Way too much. Like an hour. Way too much. I know, I know, I know. Yeah, really. And we're just, what a thrill to have you, man, on the show. You're just...

I just love that, like Jason said, that you're still doing it, that you're still rising. You're still doing incredible stuff. You keep surprising us and mixing up. And might I add that you look fucking fantastic. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you look great. Look at you. I haven't seen you.

in 30 years. You sound great. You don't sound crazy. I hope I'm not crazy ever. You know what I mean? You're kind. You're appreciative. You've done it all. And I mean that in the best way because you've done it all and you've... You've got your fucking feet on the ground. Let me ask you a question. If I would do this show every day, would I get this? No, not really. It's usually just once.

That's a fucking good question, by the way. That's a good question. That's really funny. No, we turn on you pretty quick. I like the read, Jason. It wasn't mean. I'm being honest. Not probably. Just the one. We turn on each other. It doesn't take much for us.

us to turn on each other. Yeah, immediately we'd put you right in the stew. You'd get it as hard as we do. But what a thrill, man. It was so great to talk to you. And Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, man, I'm excited. Yeah, all right. Thanks, Michael. Thanks, guys. Come on back out of Montana and come hang out with us. All right. Thank you. Honestly, it was really fun. Thank you. Thanks, man. Good to see you, Michael. Thank you, buddy. Bye.

You've been stealing Michael Keaton's shit for years. I know. I didn't want to embarrass him as well because... And I've, you know, got to know him just to say hello over the last... five, six years or something, we'd see each other and stuff. And you know where I always talk to him, JB? Huh? Conan's Christmas party. It's true, I do. You're going to get invited this year again. Don't you mention his name to me.

But, and I always talk to him about stuff, and I always tell him how much, and he's a big hockey fan. He's a big Penguins fan. So we talk hockey, and then, and then. Last year, he was really kind to me. He said something really nice about me on Colbert, which was a fucking thrill of a lifetime. But anyway, so we, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just love the way he does it.

And it's the only impression I've ever done, and I don't want to, and he doesn't know this, is of him, but it's an impression of him from Gung Ho. Uh-huh. We didn't talk about that. I go... They're going to... The Japanese... They bought the car plant? That's really good. I mean, people can't see it. If you could see it. If you could see it, it's good. You'd say. It's really good. Close.

Close. Yeah, I've just been such a fan of his. I mean, Jay, you pointed out, he does seamlessly between comedy and drama and absurdism and just everything. Yeah, and I like what you said. My life, if you've ever watched my life... No. I think I probably have. It's a fucking, it's so great and sad and oh my god.

So good. What are you going to say, Jay? Well, just that he's reached such an enormous height of success and relevance, yet he can still go to the market. And he can still get a movie financed. That's really hard. I don't know if he... He could. Yeah, he could. He could go to the market for sure because he's not a celebrity. He's just a really, really well-respected, very famous actor that can do anything and people go to see him. Yeah, and I like what you said, Jason, about the...

You can't really nail him down. Or maybe you said it well. You can't label him. Yeah, you can't label him, right? I love that. That's so true. By the way, that movie, My Life, is about a guy who's going to die and his son's going to be born. It's with Nicole Kidman, I think, and he leaves videos for his son.

Because he's not going to meet him. Oh, jeez. And how to live and what to do and how to do stuff. If you're looking to get rid of any tears, I guess you just dial that up. I wish I could hug you guys right now. Dump some. Hey, on that ranch that he was living on, do you think there were a lot of animals around there? Like, what kind of animals do you have? I hope your fucking mic cuts out. I hope the electricity goes out of your house, right?

Wait, no, like there's probably like cows and there's probably like bigger cows and like chickens. You mean like some bison? Bison! Bye. Bye. Smart. Nice. Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjarf. Sometimes an identity threat is a ring of professional hackers.

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