099 - SNAFU

We interrupt this program to bring you an important wave message. tips for every style tip. Like an untamed This has been your week. Superior. Every style, every home. My name is Thomas Edward M. France Sound Man. The mysterious client has hired me to record the oral history of an obscure island community in the greatest This is slumber. The screen says Oscar's joined the meeting. Hello? Oscar? Well, Miss Ella, shall I officially call to order this special session of the Coyote Club? Hello.

Hello. Hang on to your gavel just a moment there, Jeepers. I'm not sure what's wrong. See, his camera's dark. Then we shall wait at it. Ah yes Now upon the laptop screen is the face of young Master Oscar. Oh my gosh this is such a surprise Ugh so many people throughout my life have said to me that I am nothing if not humble. So I guess they're right, and that's why I can only accept such a prestigious award on behalf of my mother.

She taught me to always try. To always try, but never try too hard, which I took to heart. Also, big shout out to my acting coach who said Oscar, Oscar, uh, we beg your pardon, but what on earth are you on about, good man? Oh wait, who's this? I thought you said I won an Oscar. This is Jeepers. and your fellow members of the Coyote Club. I say, lad, can you hear us quite all right? Oh, Oscar, Oscar, Oh Japers McGapers.

Too funny, too funny. See, I did a walk-on cameo in an indie film that shot last year in Malaysia. Total accident on my part, wandering onto the set. But they liked my red tracksuit so much they had me play the mugging victim in a martial arts buddy cop flick. I hear it's getting Oscar buzz, so you can see my confusion. But no yeah, gotta apologize. My connection is not the best right now.

It's a rainy season here, which is always a blessing and a curse. The drought's over with. Yay! But right now it appears I'm caught in some kind of mudslide. I just now woke up in this cabin when you called and it appears the dirt floor is a flowing stream of muck. I'm sitting in a papazan which just slid from one corner to the other corner of the room. So yeah, that makes me think this simple weekend getaway cabin just lifted off the foundations and now the whole thing is cruising me downhill.

Not steep at all, though. Very gradual decline, so no big worries there. I just apologize in advance for any noise you'll hear if the cabin smashes into bushes or trees. In fact, if you want to put me on mute, I totally get that. Uh yes, I shall have Ella place you on mute for now. Stay safe, Oscar.

Ah nice. He gave a thumbs up. Right then. Special session is now called to order to the matter at hand. Certain information has come to light, revealing an opportunity to rid our town of the sandy spectre, Delbecker's ghost. Thomas, be so kind as to elaborate Okay. Well, it turns out the woman you all knew as Shelly Ruxpin was an imposter. She told me her true name is Delphina. Delphina Del Becca. Yeah, she's related to Badamo, sort of.

I it's a bit complicated. I assumed her reason for living among you was that she wanted to plot and scheme and eventually avenge Badamo by bringing about this town's ruin. But she says that's not the case. And she gave me this. Well I'll be. That's a film role, Canister, isn't it? That's right, Alva. And this may be your town's ticket to salvation. Delphina says there's a roll of photographic film inside this.

it was specially treated with the black liquid that you all know as suffer ink. And because of that, this film has the ability to capture a person's soul. Delphina said, if we use this film to photograph the Sandy Spectre, it will capture Badamo's spirit. He'll be contained within this film strip, permanently removed from your beach and no longer able to threaten your town's downfall.

Why, if old Sandy's trapped in the film, then it'll be simple to remove him from this island altogether. Yes, I'm guessing Delphina takes it with her when she departs from Slumberland. No more Del Becker's Thomas, I want to point this out. Backing up a moment. We have no way of knowing for sure that film will really work as a way to capture the sandy specter. Well, let us recall what Coyote himself prophesied.

Thomas was brought here to do all history work, and ultimately take actions to help save this town. With that film role in his hands, I reckon it will work in our favor. Hm. And you know, we've always wondered about the meanings of the Sandy Spectre song. You all know the final line to it Beware the man not. Thomas is a sound man, but the ghost isn't moved by sound. He's moved by picture. That special film is the way to get rid of him. Makes sense in a coyote kind of way.

Points taken. But I have to highlight something else. I watched the Sandy Spectre attack Noel F. Vanderbutts hurling Noel to his death. Confronting the Sandy Spectre means putting Thomas in that same kind of danger. Of course. Thank you, Lord. Clearly we must craft a careful plan to avoid risks to anyone.

And Thomas, please do understand that we expect any actions you undertake forthwith to be entirely voluntary, If you're asking whether I want to help, well, look, when I first washed ashore in Slumberland, I was seasick, I was harassed by seagulls. And I was welcomed by a talking seashell. More than a bit much to take for a quote-unquote regular normal guy.

But the more I heard your stories, the more I uncovered my own. I remembered how a long time ago a teacher of mine correctly pegged me as a sensitive snowflake. he said, I have a very rare supernatural talent. I managed to record the voice of a dead man. And not just any dead man, a Delbecker, I connect into the spirit world, and not in any kind of fun way. As talents go, it was weird and unwanted, so I ignored it for a long time. You're certainly among friends here, lad.

Who among us lacks a dash of the weird? No offense to Ella. You seem like a very collected young woman. Well, remember, I'm one of the pierced All twelve of us were born with different uh gifts that are all a bit odd. Like me, for example, my gift is It's always tough to explain without showing you photos. Thomas, we go so far as to say all the weirdos of the world, wherever they live, are citizens of Slumberland. Then as a weirdo myself, I take pride in the words I am a slumberlander and

That's a yes, by the way. I will help you get rid of the sandy spectre. Oh, Oscar's waving his arms frantically. I'll unmute him. Core Blimey, I do hope he's not sliding off a cliff. Holy crap guys, I just remembered. If you need a camera for that roll of film, I have one you could totally use. It takes that type of film because it's one of those old-fashioned models. Totally interesting story behind how I got it.

Back when I was an undergrad, I did a year as a foreign exchange student. It was supposed to be at Universita Bocciani Milan, but somehow I took the wrong connector flight to Amsterdam and missed Italy completely. I wound up in Nibel, which is situated somewhere along the border shared by Ukraine, Romania, and Moldova. As geopolitical zones go, Neeble is like a needle in a haystack.

It paradoxically has the world's smallest square kilometer area while featuring the world's largest nightclub casino. They call that establishment Avanti, and it's where 99% of Nibel's domestic GDP is created. Legendary for hosting high-profile business deals. If you could like fly a drone over the welcome sign, pass along the Avanti building, then on past the village homes and out to the crags, you'd see all of Nebel in a matter of minutes.

Oh yeah, the crags. Vast expanses of steep rock faces. Local whisperers say they're full of nuclear ICBMs placed there by the Soviets. You doubt that Neeble's positioning makes it the tiniest of linchpins, but I checked and Neeble pops up in just about every World War III simulation out there. Anyway, the local Nibel landers, lovely as the people, Nibel ish, beautiful language, fascinating culture.

Their Latin motto is Servumus Omnia, and it's true things can get very lost in Nebel. Their lore tells of an ancient vampire who once dwelt there. It's unknown how he was eventually killed, but legend says his spirit remains inside a metal lock known as the Moor Lock. Someone once opened it and said inside it was something like time that had rotted. But anyway, back to my study abroad. I was a business major and aspiring professional gambler.

A bartender in Avanti's nightclub named Tegan the Giant gave me card counting tips and when I racked up some wins I cashed out. Rented a Vespa and went for a celebratory ride along the winding roads running through the crags. I was in such a great headspace. Until I noticed the same Cyrillic road sign floating by a dozen times. I was lost going in circles, and man I just could not find my way back out of the crags.

A chilly night stranded in wilderness did not seem like a survivable situation, but fortunately for me, I rounded another curve in the crags, and a woman in a red dress runs at me, shouting, SNAFU! She jumps onto my Vespa, wraps her arms around my sternum. I notice her hand is pressing an uncomfortably bulky camera to my chest. She flings her other hand out, points in the direction I came from, and again she yells, SNAFU.

The direction she came from now features three guys running towards us. Bald goatee paparazzi types in black leather trench coats, waving daggers in the moonlight. So I slammed pedal, spin the vestbo around, and get us flying down the road. I weave along the crags with this mysterious woman digging her nails into my pecks, alternating between the left and right so as to direct me back to civilization. We make it to Avanti's rear service entries and she gets me to stop.

She jumps off the bike, rips open the back of the camera, and removes something small that I guess would be film roll, which she curls with her fist around. She hands the camera to me, whispers into my ear a word I don't know, and then disappears through self-locking doorway. Never saw her again. But the good news is that the very same camera is now tucked in a drawer at my place, so Thomas, you're more than welcome to use it. Well, uh Thanks, Oscar.

And where exactly will I find the camera? Uh pretty sure it's in the guest bedroom. You know, where you've been sleeping? Chest of drawers, bottom drawer. Well, that's one drawer below the one where Delphina left me the role of film.

Wow That's some kiss mat for ya. Most splendid Oscar. On that note I propose a break in the meeting to stretch and to snack, restrooms, etc. When resumed, we shall brainstorm the best, safest plan of attack against Bodamo. All in favour of a break? I. I. Uh Omar, if you can hear us, please beep once if yes, two if no. I I I Doreen Whatever Well, Oscar, what say you? Oh, is he stuck on mute? Wait, what is happening on that screen? Oh, I think that's Oscar's cabin.

Sliding down the hill Oh thank goodness Oscar's holding the webcam. It looks like he's still sitting in his papa sand. There's a rope tied to it and he's being pulled up the hill by a water buffalo? Oh nice, he's giving a thumbs up. Very well, then. The eyes have it. We shall reconvene shortly. Marketing is hard.

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