Dancing in the Kitchen with Matilda Green

The Heads Podcast Network.

Hello and welcome to Slow It Down. I'm your host, PJ Harding, and I want this to be a place where you can come hang out on the weekend, relax, reflect and tap into ways of getting through tough times. There's so much noise in the world. We have more information than ever and we're all so overstimulated. I want to strip it back, get to the core of what it means to be a human will discovering beautiful and

I'm so good. I'm sitting here in my lounge. It's like a grade rizzly day and got my baby Penny beside me, who is just going to be passed over to act. But I feel very calm and just so excited for this.

Is calm like a common state of mind for you, as a mum of three, podcaster and all around probably quite busy woman.

I think I work really hard to bring the calm, if you know what I mean. Like, if I didn't put that work in to bring the calm, then it would be chaos. So I know that that's a really big priority for me, is to set aside time for meditation and different bits and bobs, just so I can be in a calm space when things are going to shit? Can I say shit?

Absolutely? You can say all of the shits and all of the pities, you know.

When things are really going crazy. Then I know that I am not going to get dragged into it emotionally, you know what I mean.

Okay, so we'll get more into like the rituals and things you like to do, son, but paint us the picture of your general weake like your week days, in your weekend. How does that kind of look at the moment.

So it's very fluid. I was telling a friend about this recently, actually, about how so many of mine and arts conversations are around logistics.

Oh my god, can we just shut up so sexy? I know, with your logistics?

Oh yeah, like what are you doing Monday afternoon? Because I'm going to be out and who's gonna look after pennies? So it's just very much who's doing what, what's your week looking like? What's my week looking like? And who's picking up dropping off? That sort of thing. But in a general week, So I do like pick up and drop off for the older two preschool four days a week, and then Penny's home with me, and then all kids are home on a Wednesday. So can you hear about

Ant's just hey, look, we're thriving in the chaos. This is what it's all about. What's he doing?

He is in the kitchen ap currently.

Oh my god, how stress red nose.

It's actually this is okay because it's it's a cosmetic reg ok so there's no like removing of big parts of the house or anything. So it's okay. But yeah, poor Art, he's he's he's said it bit on with trying to get this done with three kids around. Yea, yeah, And so that's that's sort of how it looks. And on the weekend we prioritize family time and we're going to a lot of birthday parties. That's pretty common. Yeah, I'm just doing fun stuff. We'd like, go for cool hikes,

Are you quite rigid with routine or are you do you kind of like organized chaos or do you roll the flow? What sort of works best? For you.

I always thought that I would be a go with the flow hype of mum, because that's how I am usually as a person. I don't do a lot of planning. But I've found it's really hard to thrive in chaos, and it makes my life so much easier when I have some sort of structure. So I try and plan it out on a Sunday how the week's going to look, and loosely what we're gonna do, And oh my god, it makes such a big difference when I can plan out meals. I know what the plan is for the week,

Because anything could happen constantly.

Someone's got a fever, or someone's just like I don't want to do that. So you know, there's there's a bit of movement in the in the in the routine. But yeah, it helps me a lot to have structure. It makes me feel like I'm somewhat in control.

I am exactly the same way. I always thought I was a happy, go lucky, spontaneous person who didn't need no routine, And like now, I'm working with the toddler, and I actually I need it. My brain just I can't contain my brain otherwise and there's just constant noise and chaos, and I just I've realized I have to and the meals ahead. Like I never thought i'd be a whelproper, you know, I have to have that Sunday. The Sunday I need dedicated to feeling like I'm getting on top of shirt.

It's key, it's yeah, And how are you finding me back on the tools?

Yeah, it's initially a real emotional juggle, but I feel like the more you do it, the more it just feels like normal. But God, you feel so out of sorts at the beginning, especially when like these briastfeeding in the max or whatever. Your brain's just not there. But I think the more time you spend at work kind of doing your thing, it kind of just becomes more normal.

My meditation practice is really important to me. So I learned vade meditation through Georgi of Ebbsat and honestly, I'm just so grateful that I did that. So I did that I think four years ago when I was how Milo must have been around one. So yeah, my oldest Milo was around one and and I got the practice. And it's been really difficult to bring it into a

No, no, the fuse the short fuse is a real thing.

Yeah. But I find that when I'm prioritizing that meditation practice, I'm like way further away from that breaking point, so like I can still get there where I'm just like it's too much, I've lost my shit, but it's it takes a lot more for me to get there, so I've got a lot more bandwidth. And so the meditation practice is the first one, and the second one is

It's beautiful, and we just.

Try and lean in. Just do it, have fun, be silly, and.

It's all about how you make them feel. And you know, looking back, it's not going to be all the things that you had or all the things you know that you were focused on. It was actually on how you made them feel. So if you're bringing fun, I think that's everything. I always find that there's a playlist. It was actually my birthday playlist. It's got like lots of like really like wholesome tricks like the Verve, but a

Like how music can do that again, brings you back to the moment you're like, oh, this doesn't.

Matter no once your go to or do you mix it up? Ah?

I really mix it up. My Spotify is all over the show.

I am a real.

Classic rock kind of fan. But then just everything, truly everything, Like if I'm gonna it depends on the mood I'm in, Like if I'm feeling kind of like melancholy, i might put on a little bit of like Nasy star.

Oh yeah.

Like that, yeah, that sort of thing. And then if I'm feeling like I want to tackle the day, you might do like Queen m Michael Jackson. Controversial but you know that that sort of thing.

So just to that whole Michael Jackson thing, I feel like the world's closed over that. The last couple it was real controversial and now everyone was like, I just like his music.

Always, so people are like Boycott like Tacon I mean, I do like that song. I'm just gonna play it the once today.

Oh dear, Now, look looking at your life from the outside, a lot of people would say you've got a lot of gifts, you know, like you're very lucky and you've got a beautiful life. Do you ever fall victim to the grass's green and mentality? You wish that you know things are a little bit different, You wish that you were doing this or that, And because leaks be honest, Instagram is never like an absolute accurate portrayal of our lives.

Yes, one hundred percent. Yes. But I think I've gotten a lot better now at noticing when I'm feeling like that, like I can, and usually I can pinpoint it to something else. So if I'm feeling like I'm comparing myself to other people, whether they've got i don't know, more money or a better house or whatever it is, I can usually think, ah, do you know what? I've been spending too much time on my phone recently, which is usually linked to me feeling shitty. Yeap, So it's all

Looks like there's a head popping into the frame. Is Penny or is it a dog?

It's a little dog. Okay, cool, that's faster. And yeah, I truly am so grateful every single day, and I count my blessings no matter what. I really, I really don't take anything in my life for granted, and I just have to remind myself of that whenever I feel because we all fall victim to it sometimes, I think. And it depends on the situation you're in, Like sometimes you could be in a group where you know everyone's got lots of money or something, or it just depends

And what does success mean to you? If you were to answer that in a sentence, how would you define it?

Success?

To me?

I think means living a life that I can be proud of in front of my kids. So if that can be an example for them, then that's true success. That's all it comes down to for me.

And when are you in your most proud moments? Like if you could think back to when you had the most pride. What would it be.

I think probably after the birth of my son Milo. I that moment for me was the most incredible moment of my entire life, after going through such a long journey of you know, pregnancy and labor and all of that. And I remember just lying in bed holding him because I had a home birth, so I got to be in my own bed, which was so nice, and I was holding him just thinking like I can do anything. And I think it was also like the hormones and the feeling of like he's here, I get to meet him.

And those hormones they really are wild, like wild drugs. And I think that's so like telling you know, because it is sort of coming through like a really hard time and having that and I think like you learn a lot from life in that moment, right of like, you know, good things are worth real hard work and hard times, and it's not just going to be an easy road. And also like expect the unexpected, don't even know what's going to freaking happen, and you kind of

Yeah, I've got two. So one is one is life begins at the end of your comfort zone, which is kind of like what you're saying about how nothing worth having comes easy right there. Discomfort is a good thing and just being comfortable all the time is not necessarily healthy or helpful for you. And I try and live my life that way and think, if this is feeling scary,

But you can win the war. You can lose a few battles, but you can still win the war.

Right, there's still chance, you know, like we can bring it there tomorrow.

It's okay when you look back to you know how your life in the media kind of started years back when you're on The Bachelor, Like how old were you?

I was twenty four? Oh my god, And I cannot watch that again because I'm like, who is that? Who is that child on the show?

Would you do anything different? I mean, look, it worked out pretty well for you, but would you have done anything different? Like looking back through your journey of your entrance into the public arena.

Oh, so many things, Okay, so many things. I think I've evolved so much as a person, so it's it's hard to think, Oh, I wish I'd done that differently because I kind of was a different person. You know,

Big time.

Yeah. Yeah, but I think I just you know, I was young twenty four and twenty four at the time, I was like, I'm really mature, and then now that I'm almost thirty four, like, I don't know, should think I was mature to be honest.

Yeah, Look, you can't go through life with regrets, but you can, certainly, I guess, go through and evaluate, but you got to be you got to be count yourself. You can reflect, and I think being authentic is probably one of the hardest things for a lot of people, Like we're just so especially the world of and right now, it's just so hard to say something and then you don't know how it's going to go, and then you're like, well,

Yeah, yeah, I think so too. And we're in this bizarre time where everyone is expected to have an opinion on everything, and I think it's actually really unhelpful to be honest, because no one's one opinion holds more weight than anyone else's. And it's this weird time, isn't it, where just because somebody has a social media following, get expected to like have this public stance on so many different issues. And it's like, Okay, I got followers from going on The Bachelor, Like do you want.

Me to yeah, into the geopolitical as exactly? I know, I know, and yeah, it's it's not it's not normal. It's not normal. And also the exposure that we have to every single thing that goes on in the world, Like back in villages times when we were like cave me in, you know, you didn't know half the shit that was going on. It's just like so much information, whether it's even about health stuff or whether it's about political stuff. It's so hard to wag through.

And like nobody knows what's what's true anymore. Just like somebody somebody sees something on Instagram with like a in an authoritative way, You're like, oh, well, you know that must be that must be true. And then someone else say something completely different in a confident, abative.

Way exactly, and then you're like, what just sucking side do I take? I think the most important thing for sanity is to just try and step away and like absorb your world like the most. I think the most beneficial thing you can do is be a positive impact on your like immediate community, right, one hundred percent, yeah.

Because that's that's somewhere where you can make a direct impact, Like if you are an active part of your community looking after those around you and and being an example to your children about how to look after those around you and and care for people and help others, that is that's, in my opinion, one of the best things you can do, because then you're raising those people to help the people around them, and then it's a you know, it's a blow on effect of positivity.

Do you have any role models that you looked up to or that you've even in the last ten years, someone that you look up to now that you're like man, they've got it going on.

So many people. But do you know what, mostly my family and my neighbors like some honestly, like the people that are in my community are so generous and giving. And it's not that they have all of the stuff to give, and it's just that's that's the community spirit. And these people are just so kind and so generous.

I found that big time moving rurally, Like, the community spirit is wild. When I lived in the city for so many years, I know even you my neighbors never had any assistance striped through hard times. When anything happens, they all band together and it's just the most beautiful thing. And I think it is how we're supposed to live as human beings, especially when there's children in the mix.

Yeah, yeah, because social media gives us the illusion of connection, but it's not connection, not at all. Like if anything, it's well, I mean, we can just take one lock at all the mental health stats and see that it's not working. When we're like, we're we're connected, but we're actually the less the least connected we've ever been. And it's really sad. When we had the same situation when we lived in Auckland, our neighbors like we'd come and

And I didn't even fuck and that's when we left the city.

Yeah, I was like this, so so then I had to be like, hey, I've got your dog and also I'm really sorry I bourn coffee all over.

How did they go down? Did they talked to you afterwards?

All? I know? It was just an awkward interaction and they were like, oh, that's okay. I was like sorry, I didn't mentor and they were like, yeah, that's okay. We're going to take the dog now.

So you won't be moving back to the city anytime. So so you line up there. So you guys are like out of the city quite not rural, but like small town small small town.

Yes, well, like it's not that small. I don't know what the population of Walkward, US have you five thousand?

Yeah, it's Ce's it's tweet on the way tweet Tweet's not the right word.

It's i'd say it's medium small town. Yeah, but it's it's it's growing pretty rapidly, and some of the og locals are not happy about it.

They're not they're not in training. You haven't got McDonald's or the wee house coming in of you at the warehouse to be here We've got the warehouse and it goes off, it pops off. It's great for kids.

I'm saying to actually, like, you know what we need. We need a kid's boutique, you know, like we need a kids drop in town where people can go and get their their kids party supplies.

You're going to advocate breaking kids boutique.

From even start. One.

Been so nice chatting with you today. I want to finish on what advice you would give to your eighteen year old self. I know we talked about like looking back at the Bachelor of that if you could talk to a younger version of yourself, knowing what's ahead, what would you tell yourself?

The first thing would be lay off the fake han for the of God, it's just it's just not okay. And the main, the main serious one is because I went through school with most people telling me that I wasn't an athlete and that I wasn't academic, and so I had these these beliefs from when I was really young to when I finished school, thinking, right, I'm not smart and I'm not good at sports, So what's left I'm good with people? Okay, so that's a pretty small pool.

That's beautiful. Well, I'm so grateful for you popping on today and having a little chat and having like a little lens into your life behind the behind the scenes of Matilda Green.

Thanks for having me. It was lovely to catch up and just be a part of this zen moments.

Lovely, mist I should have told you to bring a cup of tea or something. I've actually got my oil b Do you like that?

Yeah? To the side, Oh that's nice. I've just got a dog and a lot of mess, so I won't show you the backdrop.

Hey, that's what it's all about, the realness of being human. Matilda, thank you so much. I really really appreciate it.

Thanks Pja.

Listening back to that chat, I really wish I had dived into a few more questions with Matilda, but I ended up cutting it short, and I've still got more I want to talk to her about. But there were a few things that really did stick out to me this week, and I loved that. You know, when she is feeling overwhelmed or she's about to lose a shit, she'll reset with a dance in the kitchen, with like a little you know, a little dance party. It's that simple.

Now.

I'm sure there's lots of things that she does also incorporate into a routine, but the meditation, and I know that's also really kind of off putting for a lot of people. They think, shit, I can't sit that still for that amount of time. I learned vadic meditation. Gosh, when was it? When I was in Melbourne on breakfast radio and I was sleep deprived, and I just remember how incredible it was. They say it's like equivalent to a few hours sleep or something like that. Who do