Welcome to The Simplify Your Life Podcast, where we talk about how to create a life you wonât need an escape from! Iâm Coach Simona, author of the book â111 Ways to Simplify Your Lifeâ, and Iâm glad you decided to tune in! In today's episode, weâre going to talk about atelophobia, and Iâm going to share with you three helpful tips on how to overcome it.
Now, letâs start by first answering the question: âWhat is atelophobia?â Atelophobia is a type of anxiety disorder characterized by having a fear of imperfection or fear of not being good enough. When a person suffers from atelophobia, theyâre prone to seeing the negative side of a situation first and they consider mistakes unacceptable. If you have atelophobia, you may constantly worry about your ability to meet your own
standards and the standards of others. This fear can lead to a lack of confidence and self-esteem, making it difficult to pursue goals or even interact with others. Now that we know what atelophobia actually is, letâs answer another important question: Where does atelophobia come from?
The root of atelophobia often comes from past experiences, such as being constantly criticized by others or experiencing severe psychological trauma growing up, for example being punished for doing something imperfectly. This can include experiences in childhood, such as being bullied or constantly criticized by parents or teachers, or negative experiences in adulthood, such as being fired from a job or going through a difficult breakup. Another potential cause of atelophobia
is societal pressure to succeed and achieve. We are often told that success is measured by our achievements, which can lead to a constant feeling of inadequacy. Another important thing to note here is that setting impossible standards for yourself perpetuates the cycle of atelophobia. This can include having unrealistic expectations of yourself or comparing yourself to others who you consider more successful.
Another one is trying to avoid making mistakes and not being ready to release projects because you think theyâre never good enough. Atelophobia makes you feel afraid of your flaws, and sometimes you canât take any risks because youâre too worried that no matter what, youâre going to fail, and you see things in a negative light. Whatâs interesting here is that atelophobia doesnât just show up
in your mind. It affects your body as well. You could experience headaches, stomach pain, dry mouth, excessive sweating, indecisiveness, restlessness, dry mouth, etc. And here comes the third important question: Why are we afraid of making mistakes?
weâre afraid of the consequences. A mistake could mean losing your job, getting humiliated, or being rejected from someone you love. When youâre afraid of making mistakes, itâs easy to keep yourself small, and feel afraid of making progress in any direction of your life. The thing that makes atelophobia different from anxiety or perfectionism is that itâs an actual phobia, which means thereâs an intense response from your body that signals that youâre in imminent danger.
As a recovering perfectionist and someone who was terrified of making mistakes, here's what worked for me: 1. Identify the core reason for being afraid of imperfection We briefly touched on this subject earlier in this video, but I want you to do a little exercise with me. Close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and answer the following questions: 1. When I hear the word âperfectionâ, who is the first person that comes to my mind? 2. Have I experienced severe criticism in my family?
3. What will happen if I donât do things perfectly? 4. Does being a perfectionist make me a better person? 5. What does perfectionism give me? 6. What does it take away from me? After answering these questions, youâre going to gain more clarity on the âwhyâ behind atelophobia. Now, letâs get into my second tip: Do something imperfectly Hereâs the thing: if you donât learn to do things imperfectly, youâre going to stay in the perpetual cycle of atelophobia, and we donât want that.
So, what can you do to lower your standards for yourself without feeling stressed out or overwhelmed? Here are a few examples of doing things imperfectly: next time you find a tiny flaw somewhere, leave it like that. Next time you fear youâre not good enough, go ahead and move into action anyway.
I know how hard it seems at the moment, so I want you to start small: for example, leave a typo in a blog post, a little stain on your shirt, etc. And when it comes to overcoming the fear of making mistakes, accept that weâre all imperfect, and we all make them all the time. Things donât have to be perfect. You donât have to be perfect. Weâre all flawed, weâve all been through some sort of trauma, and weâre all doing the best that we can. And that is enough.
So next time youâre afraid of making mistakes, just remember that all you can do is consider the potential consequences, evaluate the pros and cons, and make a decision that has a high chance of leading you to a favorable outcome. The rest is simply not up to you. So let it go. My next tip is to Push for progress, not perfection This sentence completely changed my life.
Fear of imperfection is rigid and revolves around control: things have to go a certain way, look a certain way, behave in a certain way. Progress, on the other hand, is to be one step closer to achieving your goal. If you get stuck in perfectionism, remember this little mantra, and move into action. The more you repeat it to yourself, the easier it will get to overcome atelophobia.
Accepting tiny failures, doing things imperfectly, releasing projects before they reach that 100% mark, and accepting that even if you make mistakes, at the end of the day it doesnât matter what anyone else thinks of you. The only opinion that you should care about is the one you have of yourself.
So, your job here is to make sure you take consistent action towards your goals, despite your fears, and being compassionate and kind when you make mistakes, by recognizing that theyâre an inevitable part of life. And if you want to learn how to love and accept yourself for exactly who you are, check out The Self-Love Toolkit by visiting: www.theselflovetoolkit.com
Thanks so much for tuning in! If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please like it, subscribe, and I will see you in the next one.