Welcome to The Simplify Your Life Podcast, where we talk about how to create a life you won’t need an escape from! I’m Coach Simona, author of the book “111 Ways to Simplify Your Life”, and I’m glad you decided to tune in! In today’s podcast episode, we’re going to answer the question: “Why do I resist doing hard things?” and I’m going to share with you my best tips on how to
overcome resistance and move into action quickly. Now, before we get into my 3-step formula on how to stop resisting doing hard things, I want to spend a few seconds and talk to you about what psychological resistance really is. When you have resistance, you’re trying to oppose to doing something that you don’t want, don’t like, don’t want to
bother with, or have a strong opinion against. Resisting doing hard things, in particular, is closely related to not wanting to expose yourself to the difficulty that comes with opening yourself up to new, scary, complicated things. We all know that without hardship, there’s no growth. But where does this leave us when it comes to overcoming resistance?
Let’s first answer the question you’re probably already asking yourself, and that is: “Why do I resist doing hard things?” There are 8 reasons why you might be resisting doing hard things. The first one is Being afraid of change Sometimes the task at hand could be something we’ve never tried before, which means it’s a completely unchartered territory, and that could leave us feeling afraid. Our minds love what’s familiar and would do whatever they can to avoid the unfamiliar.
So in this case, if the task is brand new, and requires you to face new challenges and solve unknown problems, it can feel pretty unfamiliar, and therefore you could be afraid of change. The second reason why you resist doing hard things is Fear of failure One of the most common reasons why we resist doing hard things is because we’re afraid of failing. We worry that if we try and don’t succeed, we’ll be embarrassed, disappointed, or even humiliated.
Fear of failure is directly linked to our self-image. We want to be perceived as strong, capable, successful, and doing hard things exposes us to the possibility of failing. The funny thing is that we fail the most by not trying at all. So why not at least increase our chances of winning? The next reason for resisting doing hard things is Having negative association with the task What do I mean by this? When we perceive the thing we need to do as difficult, heavy,
and too complex, we may have negative feelings about it. We might dread the task at hand, feel overwhelmed, anxious, sometimes even angry that we need to do it, and the primal response is to simply resist doing it. We’ll talk more about overcoming the negative feelings you might have about the task later on this episode.
But for now, let’s get into the next reason why you might be resisting doing hard things and that is: Lack of clarity Lack of clarity refers to not understanding the task at hand or having difficulties executing because you’re not sure what you’re supposed to do. This may leave to procrastination, trying to delegate the task to someone else, or avoiding taking responsibility.
When you don’t have clarity, it’s quite difficult to stay focused and motivated. So it’s important to know how to break down the task at hand into smaller chunks so it’s easier to follow through. Reason #5 why you resist doing hard things is Preferring pleasure over pain As humans, our default mode is to seek pleasure over pain, so that’s a quite normal response to
doing hard things. The problem is that by always choosing pleasure, we might find ourselves in a downward spiral because sometimes doing the hard things in life is the only way to grow and evolve. Think about it, most of us wouldn’t mind slacking on our chores, eating ice-cream in bed, binging our favorite TV shows, and taking walks by the beach all day long…
But at the end of the day, pleasurable activities are not always good for us. Sometimes they can even be harmful, so we need to pay close attention to the things we consume on a daily basis and have better impulse control. The next reason for resisting doing hard things is Decision fatigue Sometimes we resist doing hard things
because we’re exhausted by all the decisions we have to make in a day. If you don’t know what you want to wear, what you want to eat for breakfast, which route you want to take to work, how you want to respond to the 150 messages in the office, etc., there certainly comes a point where you’ve had enough. When that happens, the best way to combat decision fatigue is to recharge your batteries. Even if we’re talking about
taking a walk for 10 minutes or simply taking a few deep breaths. Just go with the flow for a while and try not to overthink everything. The truth is that, not every decision matters equally, so you need to choose wisely where you spend your time and energy. Reason #7 for resisting doing hard things is Dopamine overload What do I mean by this? Dopamine overload refers to overloading your brain with the dopamine, causing dopamine receptors to become less sensitive to it.
Dopamine plays a role in how we feel pleasure. The problem is that when we overload the brain with things like scrolling on social media, binging shows, or abusing harmful substances, we feel overwhelmed, on edge, unable to enjoy simple, mundane day-to-day tasks.
And here comes the problem: when you have a hard task at hand and you’re used to doing pleasurable activities instead, it’s difficult to move into action, and you may often resist doing the thing you know you need to do. If you want to learn more about my experience with dopamine detox and how I stopped letting external things dictate my internal state, check out episode 94 next.
The next reason why you resist doing hard things is Perfectionism As a recovering perfectionist, I know how easy it can be to find “just one more thing” to tweak before releasing something into the world. The problem is perfectionism is robbing you of your one and only chance to do something meaningful, while you’re still here. I know it’s easier said than done. But, what I
have found immensely helpful is to do things “almost perfectly.” Start by doing something 95% perfect, then drop to 90%, and so on. Aim for progress, not perfection. Okay, now that we know why you resist doing hard things, let’s get into my easy formula for overcoming resistance. Step #1 is to Make a deal with yourself To overcome your sneaky resistance, your going to have to learn how to negotiate effectively with that part of you that simply doesn’t want to move into action. I call this
the “make a deal with yourself” exercise. Here’s what you need to do: make a promise to yourself that you’ll only work on this task for 10 minutes. Just 10. Then you’ll do something you actually enjoy doing. The funny thing is that often when you start working on something, you get into a flow state, which means you stop feeling like you “have to” do it and start getting into it, sometimes even enjoying it. So try it out for yourself and let me know how it goes.
The second step to overcome resistance is to Ask yourself: "What would this look like if it was easy?" I heard this one from Tim Ferris a few years ago and it really changed the way I approach hard tasks. The thing is, “difficult” is just a label you’ve put on it, so let’s play the game of “what would this look like if it was easy.” Let’s say you need to learn a new skill, for example how to edit videos.
What would this look like if it was easy? How can you turn it into a game and have fun with it? How can you remove unnecessary mental blocks and simply deal with it one step at a time? Spend some time r eflecting on these questions and let’s move on to step #3: Be kind to yourself You can’t expect to go from self-doubt and overwhelm to self-love and self-confidence overnight.
That’s why the first step is to practice self-kindness when it comes to this particular area of your life: doing hard things. Next time you’re faced with a difficult challenge or simply something that you don’t want to do, pay attention to your negative thoughts. What are you saying to yourself? How are you trying to talk yourself out of doing it? What’s going on in your mind? Now, think of someone who encourages you to be better.
It could be a relative, a friend, or even someone on the internet that you’ve never met before. The person doesn’t matter. Their voice, their encouragement, and their view of the world is what does. How do they inspire you to be a better version of yourself? How do they manage to help you motivate yourself when you feel down? What is it about them that calms you down and ignites a spark in you? Now, I want you to become that person for
yourself. Be kind, accepting, and compassionate to yourself next time you resist doing something hard. Instead of beating yourself up again, try saying something gentle like: “I know this seems hard, but I’ve always been able to figure things out. Let’s just try it out and see how it goes.” Manage your expectations to yourself. Don’t be so harsh and critical. After all, we’re only human and we’re all doing the best that we can, and that is enough.
And if you want a step-by-step system that will help you learn how to love yourself, unconditionally, check out The Self-Love Toolkit by clicking the first link in the description box below or visiting: www.theselflovetoolkit.com Thank you so much for tuning in! If you enjoyed this podcast episode, please like it, subscribe, and I will see you in the next one.