Simple Questions Episode 45 - Matthew Gezequel - podcast episode cover

Simple Questions Episode 45 - Matthew Gezequel

Oct 28, 20241 hr 23 min
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Episode description

Interview Guest: Matthew Gezequel
Simple Questions For 100 People Is An Experiment. This is a research project to gather data from 100 beautiful human beings for the sole purpose of seeing what actually happens across the interviews. The questions are fixed and all the interviews will remain consistent with the variable being the actual participants themselves. Although we are unsure of what we are going to discover, if anything, we hope to learn what makes people who they are and remain interested in their individual stories. Hosted by Bill Correll

Transcript

Speaker 1

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Speaker 2

Simple questions for one hundred people. Welcome to the experiment. I'm Bill Correll, and this is my investigation. I'm researching to gather data from one hundred beautiful human beings for the sole purpose to see what actually happens across the interviews. Now, the questions are fixed and all the interviews will remain consistent, the variable being the actual participants themselves and their answers. So Matti says, if I'm having you come sit on my porch to share your thoughts so I can learn

about people. We're looking forward to what we're going to learn when we're done with this whole thing. But mostly we're interested in the people, the process, and in your particular story. So with all that said, what is your full name.

Speaker 3

It's Matthew jusequal.

Speaker 2

Do you have a middle initial or a middle name? Kay, it's Carl, Carl Okay, great Carl with a K. Yes, that's a great that's a great name.

Speaker 3

Yeah.

Speaker 2

Tell me a little bit about your about your last name.

Speaker 3

Uh, it's Jessicual. We're let's see family strunk. Uh, Paris, France. Originally many many residents moons ago, but uh, that's it's originally from France, and according to came from Paris, France into northern Canada and then ended up in Sus Saint Marie, Michigan.

And then my grandfather ended up in Alpina and so, and I also have a part of my family that apparently is down in New Orleans area, So apparently by Bayou side of the family, which have didn't even know they even existed, to be honest with you up until a few years ago, by doing genealogy.

Speaker 2

So so it sounds like you were part of the original knock migration from Canada. Canada, you come down here you huh.

Speaker 3

Well, a little bit. Literally, the family came from a part of the family settled in Sus Saint Marie. The other part came into Michigan and literally passed through Canada on the way in. But that's kind of the way it came across. And so no, kind of a different point of view. But most of them, or I shouldn't say most, there's a few that are there. There's a few still in France, there's a few, like I said, a couple other spots all over, So we just kind of listen and go from there.

Speaker 2

So have you met any of the French people I've taught.

Speaker 3

I've messaged back and forth with one I believe would be a cousin who's a doctor over in Paris, and that was just messaging back and forth a little bit. Basically. It was like, you know, kind of hey, uh, you know, I got a message to one day over Facebook of so I think we're related. Now, well, you know, with the spelling of the last name, it kind of makes it look that way.

Speaker 2

Yeah. Absolutely, you have a very distinctive name. You're my first, actually you're my second. Your wife was my first. Yeah, so yeah, I have a rather uncommon name also, but it's getting more common all the time. C O R R E L L. And then there are lots of variations of that. So what's your favorite nickname, Matt that most people don't know?

Speaker 3

Oh, well, I guess it would go back a long long time. For a long time, or for a while, my father and a couple of his friends called me matador. And my dad said it was because basically I was the I'm still the smallest of the four boys that my father had, six three, two sixty. I'm a little little one, okay, yeah, and uh, he basically used to sit there and I'm the youngest by five years, and so they were all bigger, all older than me, and

he said it was always he was. He basically would compare me to a matador trying to face down three balls, and you know, he always sat there and goes just you know, there's most matadors would have ran, and you continued to face the problem. So he used to basically tell me I was stubborn as a bull and sometimes meaner than.

Speaker 2

The ball, so you had what you needed to be a man at or'. That's pretty cool. So we'll move into the next question, which is when did you first notice what color hair you had.

Speaker 3

Well, I want to say that it would have been probably about four or five years old, and it happened actually because my hair changed color. My hair had a little bit of a red tinge to it. As a matter of fact, according to looking at my first haircut, my hair was red, which my grandmother's nickname had been red because she had like a deep auburn color hair.

But you know, it's kind of one of those weird things when you look back and go, hold on, this definitely is not red, you know, And it was just kind of unique to realize, you know, I have this darker colored hair than and my hair is different than all my brothers as well. They all have like kinky, curly your hair, and theirs was almost jet black all the time, and then mine kind of stayed a little lighter brown.

Speaker 2

So just interesting, yeah, it is. And having being the youngest of four no sisters, right, just all boys.

Speaker 3

Yeah, no, no. My dad's favorite comment to us was especially like when Jen started coming around and he realized how serious things were with Jen and I, he used to turn to me and go, you know, and I remember him making this statement because I told him the one day I'm like, you know, her dad made a comment about you know, if I ever heard her, he'd kill me. And my dad looked at me and goes, you don't have to worry about that, Matt. By the time Gerard got out here, do you know to be

in a hole? Yeah, I'm like what, he goes, that's my daughter. I got four you I can lose one. It's no big deal. Yeah, I'm like Jesus.

Speaker 2

Yeah, that's one of those father son conversations that I think a lot of us have been through. Yep, we'll take you, but we really love jen perfect. So what's your favorite thing to do to intentionally waste time?

Speaker 3

Honestly? Cooking? Just to sit down and go out on the grill, cook on the grill, cook in the kitchen, even sometimes bake. I'm not a big baker, but there's times where it's just I just lose myself in the cooking and can enjoy myself.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

The kids used to laugh at me because every time I'd be cooking, I'd be whistling and laughing and singing, and they're like, the hell are you doing? So it's kind of one of my favorite things. Sometimes it's just on my day off, I'll just go out and start the smoker and cook all day long.

Speaker 2

So all right, So, so tell me about your favorite things to cook and or smoke.

Speaker 3

Let's see. I love ribs, I've gotten a point.

Speaker 2

What's your favorite? Like baby bag?

Speaker 3

I like, I like all of them, Honestly, I'm not. I like to try different things. So when Jena and I've traveled, I have a tendency to try and pick a barbecue place at every every stop we make. So I tend to when we're in Texas, I love trying the Texas barbecue with it is you know, pretty strict and just salt pepper and that's all there is to it. And then the same type of thing for the when we went through Kansas City, trying certain things there. I like, you know, I'm the guy that I make my own

own barbecue sauce. I have three different varieties of barbecue sauce. I make, you know, my own spice rubs for everything. But like I said, I will do just about I can't say have one thing I love more than others other than like I said, I like doing pork, ribs, spare rubs. Mainly Jen likes the baby backs, so I tend to do those and then those I've gotten to the point like you know, when I start start a pack, when I start a round of baby backs, you know,

I'm tied up for four hours. So yeah, so that's the fun part of the day.

Speaker 2

So you and I could talk about barbecuing and cooking in particular for hours. Yes, let us just decide that we'll do that at another time, because there's to be explored here, that's for sure.

Speaker 3

Yes, there is.

Speaker 2

So you and I if somebody asked us about cooking, we wouldn't necessarily think that was intentionally wasting time. It's just something doing what we love, right, Yeah, well.

Speaker 3

And it isn't. I shouldn't say wasting time. It's just it's a way for me to pass the time, yes, and I just it's also my way of sharing what what I grew up with with my kids, and you know, and it's funny because I love bold flavor, and you know, my father was the day you know, my dad was a truck driver. So for from the time I was four actually, I guess my first time in a semi was I was two till he was or til I was fourteen, which is when he kind of he got

hurt me to stop truck driving. You know. For those twelve years, he and I would all summer, I would go all over the country with my dad and he would be and it was so funny because I love my mother. She was a good cook, but she didn't use a lot of spices and flavorings. And she'd say, well, that's because your dad doesn't like, you know, that type

of food. But every time we went out, my dad would find the places that had just huge flavor yeah, and I'd be like, you know, and finally at one point I looked back and went, I just think mom doesn't like it.

Speaker 2

You may be onto something there.

Speaker 3

Yeah, So that was a fun part of the day.

Speaker 2

Yeah. I find with people that really like to cook, they like all of it. They like shopping for the food and being really discriminatory about exactly what they're getting and how much pats on it, because you know, if you're going to slow cook something you don't that's not going to bother you at all. It's gonna render out and then it'll go right.

Speaker 3

So yeah, the longer the better.

Speaker 2

And then the knife work and the preparation and you know, if you're going to you know, put it in and marinade for a while or overnight or something like that. It's all just steps in the process. You know.

Speaker 3

Oh, well, that's that's the same thing. To turn to me the one day and the kids or my my son literally just turned to me and went we went down and tried place down near him, and he cheered. Run. He goes, this is probably the closest thing to your chicken wings and your your chicken tenders you used to make when we were on family vacations. Wow, He's like, these are probably the closest things to it. And you know, and I'm like, okay, it was darn it was pretty

dying close to what I do. And he goes, but you just literally like here, I watched you because you you turn around, walked in the one day and went okay, here's some buttermilk, here's some this, and boom, and then write it and he goes, I you know, he always tells me, he goes, there's times where I just look back and go okay, And and that's his comparison when it comes to like chicken wings, chicken chicken tenders, and

that type of things. He goes, I compare it back to your cooking and I sat there and like, okay, I'll take that as compliments.

Speaker 2

So you know, yeah, you said a standard no question about it. Yeah, and now you can tell him the truth. It's magic.

Speaker 3

Yeah. Well, and you know, actually with with him, he's I think he's kind of he's cut off the same block because he's the same kid that will walk in and you know, I, before him, I would have looked at sushi and walked away and never tried it. He's the one who talked me into trying sushi and going, hey, this isn't bad and then finding out actually delicious, And so you know that was He's the he actually was a little more adventurous than Jennini and that kind of

led us to being what we do. So and now it's every time we go someplace, we're looking for something different.

Speaker 2

So it's yes, see, there's there's lots of different ways to see the world, but from the inside or the outside of a restaurant or a gee dunk or you know or something like that, not a bad way to go. It's all experience, isn't.

Speaker 3

It, every bit of every bit.

Speaker 2

So this will be an interesting one for you, Matt. I think what's your favorite movie to watch alone.

Speaker 3

Uh huh, that's gonna sound stupid, but as far I shouldn't say alone because honestly, there's nothing I like to sit there and just watch by myself. Okay, when Lex was around, it would have been some type of comedy but scary movie type thing, because that's that was her. One of my favorite movies, which is gonna sound stupid, is the movie Swat. Not because and everybody's like, well,

that's because you're a cop. Well no, actually it's the training and everything that's behind that and understanding that you know, it's called special it's swats, special weapons and tactics. It's the tactics, not the weapons, right, And that's the part that always found I found interesting and looking at some

of the things they did in the movie. And then you know, you know, with my background, you know, i am I've been a police officer going on twenty six years, so I've got my firearms instructor, chaser instructor, defensive tactics, use of force, pretty much any type of force training. I'm an instructor in it. And so to look back and look at the movie and go, oh, they did that shit, right, Yeah, you know, instead of most movies where you're look and go, oh, that is absolutely not how it works.

Speaker 2

Ye, right exactly. The yeah, rights permitted is what it comes down to sometimes, right.

Speaker 3

Yeah, so it was. That's one of those shows that I still look back and every once in a while and if it comes on, I'll sit out and watch it. And you know, and again, those are the types of things that you know, we would I would sit down and watch, and then I would find out, you know, Christian would be hiding around the corner trying to watch because you didn't want to let Dad know that you

liked the movie too. Yeah, you know, and then you know, just depending on the show said that, that was probably one of the one of those movies that I would sit down and watch. But you know, still to this day, one of the movies I would sit down and watch in a heartbeat would be There's Two Labyrinths.

Speaker 2

Yes, and.

Speaker 3

Oh my goodness, why they just went out of my head. Oh, Princess Bray.

Speaker 2

Inconceivable. Absolutely, you know, I'll tell you that's fantastic. And and by the way, not not to step over it. Thank you very much for your service. I very much appreciate what rolled off of your tongue twenty six years as a cop. I appreciate you, I really do, especially these days. Thank you for your service, no problem. Yeah, So, now that we've got the movies handled, I know, anything with David Bowie is all right with me, you know. And Mandy Patankin is not a bad actor either, you know.

Any Montoya, here's where we get it, where we get get into some fun, especially with somebody who's on the job. If you were to have an action figure made to you, what superpower would it have and what color would its uniform be?

Speaker 3

Well, uniform is going to be blue, even though I wear blue and brown I work, you know, I actually work for a couple of different entities, but twenty six years i've worn blue. Yeah, so I would stick with it would be well, probably a combination of red, white, and blue, just to be honest with you. Yeah. You know, I look back at a family history of you know, I have three brothers that were all in three different branches of the military, which Army or Navy, Marines, and

Air Force. And then my father was in the army. And then I have three uncles that were in the military, and you know, lost one uncle in Vietnam. And so you know, I always honor that side because I didn't do that portion of it, and you know, there's times I think back going, but you know, I'm kind of glad the way things worked out because i'd have done the military, I would have met Jen.

Speaker 2

So yeah, yeah, things happen the way they're supposed to, don't they. Yep. Yeah. The other thing too, is I think we find it a little with a lot of first responders, seventy to eighty percent of them are our x EX military yep. Yeah, which is actually yeah.

Speaker 3

Yeah, it depends. Actually around here, what we're finding is about probably about between thirty and forty five percent military, yep. And then the rest either went to school for it or there's a couple guys that literally, I mean, I got two. I still want to call them kids because they're young enough to be my kids that literally just went through the academy and I'm looking at them like

I have a child that's older than you, you know. Yeah, And it's fun It's funny because literally I've known him since he was seven years old and now he's a police officer. He's twenty one, and he's an officer with our local Sheriff's department. And you know, literally he and I sat down last week and he goes, he goes. You know how many times I would sit there and ask you questions and I said, I know, and he goes,

and he goes. Now I expind myself asking questions. He goes, But now I'm actually listening and you know, and trying to learn, because he goes, he turned, he goes. Honestly, he goes, You've got so much knowledge, and he goes, and he keeps that, he'll ask me questions. He's like, he goes because you have just so much experience that what they give you and the academy can't compare to. So I take it as as a huge honor to sit down with a couple of those guys are going so.

Speaker 2

While so, and I guess that would probably lead to your superpower.

Speaker 3

Right, Actually, you know it's going to be weird superpower. But it's just the ability to stay calm.

Speaker 2

Is that a power you already have?

Speaker 3

Sometimes?

Speaker 2

Yeah, okay, sometimes you'd be able to point and click a little bit more often.

Speaker 3

Yeah, there's there's a there's a few points and times where you know, I've literally had to walk away and go, hey, somebody better get him out of my car, because if I go to get him out, he's gonna go through the window, you know, you know. Or there's been a few times where I've literally just turned to him and I walk him in, I put him in the jail. I look at him. I'm like, here, here's all your paperwork,

sign and I'm gonna walk out the door. You can, you can hand the cuffs out after you get him off. I don't care. I'm just walking away because I don't

need to hear his mouth anymore. And they'll look at me and they're like, you know, it's funny because some of the corrections officers like, gotcha know, and but also the one corrections offer goes, we've heard you know, You've you've brought in people that are screaming, hollering, and you're just like, you know, and then they're like, apparently they pushed the wrong button because you're ready to throw them at us.

Speaker 2

So you've got the state. But but your mileage may vary, right.

Speaker 3

Depending on the day.

Speaker 2

Yes, So, now, what did you want to grow up to be when you were five years old?

Speaker 3

Oh? You know, in a way, I think I did that done my dad just that was you know, my dad was the guy that he could do damn near anything. And you know, I mean when you look a guy who who graduates high school doesn't know he's good. He has a full ride scholarship to University of Michigan, joins the military, got into West Point and then got kicked out of West Point because he wore glasses because at that time you couldn't have glasses and be a part of West Point. And then his job in the military

was building Nike missile bases. So he would literally build a nuclear missile work site one day. Four days later, they'd tear it down and move it to a different spot. And he went all over the country and sometimes out of the country to do that while he was in the military. And you just sit there and look back and go, Okay, there's got to be something there. And you know, he was also the same guy that would

sit down and I'd watch him. You know, the Harry Potter books when those came out, he read the books in two or three days. And the only other person I know that read him that fast was my son, and he book's done. And you know, I would sit there and look at him both going how because you know, when I read the book, it took me, you know, ten days, but just the way they were and how they both are, that's fly through it and remember almost every word. And you know, that just always impressed me.

And you know, to have a guy who you know, worked on And that was the other thing I always laughed at because somebody, you know, some of my friends would look at me and go, you know, my dad's up and I just look at him, like, have you ever looked at the size of my father? The guys six feet tall, he's three hundred and forty five pounds, and yeah, he's got a beer he's got a little bit of a beer belly, but there ain't no beer in there because he don't drink beer, right, But his

arms are as big as my legs. And you know, he would he and you know I laughed because I seen a picture of my father when he was in high school, his senior picture. This guy was five eight and one hundred and thirty eight pounds. Wow, he went into the military. Still five eight hundred and thirty eight pounds comes out of the military. He's six feet tall, he's two hundred and sixty five pounds, absolutely ripped like

a beast. And his first job was at Pontiac Motors, and his job was picking up the V eight engine block off of one conveyor, carrying it twenty yards to the next one and did that for eight hours a day. And if my father and the one other guy that could do it weren't on that shift, the line shut out.

Speaker 2

Wow.

Speaker 3

And so I sat there, I'm like, you know, and then my you know, my dad would tell the stories of you know, here he is. He was walked into work in Pontiac Motors by the Black Panthers because that was back in sixty eight during the riots, and he would get walked. My mother would drive him stop five blocks away from Pontiac assembly line plan stop. My father would meet up with the Black Panthers and you know, eight or ten other employees and they would walk my father.

And my father was the only white guy walking in. I'm the midnight shift. He's here around, He's like, and the guys told him, they're like, yeah, no, he goes. These guys are going to walk you in every night to make sure you make it into work, because if you're not here, we don't make money, right, And so and I always laughed at that because here's my dad, you know, good sized guy, and he always sat there.

He's like, it's the weirdest thing, and you know, and I always laughed because I turned to him and somebody say, well, didn't that feel strange, and my dad to go no, and you'd look at him and they'd be like, well, but but my dad goes they were all my friends, yes, you know. And I always laugh because people would look at us, you know. And I still have that said to me, a lot of oh, you're a cops, you're racist. Now look at him like I didn't even know your

skin was a different color, you know. And you know, I'll I'll give you one story because I still think this is probably one of the funniest things ever happened on traffic stop with me. I had a car I pulled over for our drug unit calls and says, hey, you need to stop this car. We're pretty sure they just made a drug pass blah blah blah blah and made a buy off of these people. And I'm like, christ, So I pull this car over and it's an older suburban.

The plate on it comes back to Ah, I want to well it was a Paniac or a Chevy and Pala. I'm like, well and pretty much not an Impala. And this is during the middle of COVID time, right, So there's this whole big rigamarole about run plates and everything else.

And so I go up and there's six guys in this car and they're all African American and they're all shaken, and I'm like, I come up and I talk to the one and he's like, you know, the driver, He's like, yeah, I got a driver's license, but I left it in the car. I left it in my pants. It's at

the hotel and blah blah, blah blah. And he's the only one that actually had a driver's license with the six people in the car, and I'm like, okay, So I'm going through and I'm getting everybody's information and I'm I'm like, okay, guys, this is why we're stopped one because of the plate and this and this, And I said, now, somebody told me you guys made a hand passed with

somebody else. Looked like you passed money for drugs. And the guy goes to the one guy in the back seat goes, I bought we and I'm like, is that all you bought? Yeah, so you sure? And they're like, well, what do you mean? I said, I don't care about weed. It's Michigan. The law has changed. Weed's legal. I said, is that's all that's in the car, And they're like, well yeah, I said, are you sure? And they're like, uh,

you know, and the one got stopped. I'm like okay, and the other guys said, looking at him, going if you got something else, you better tell him right now. Just let's go. And they're like no, no, no, all I got to the weed, and I'm like, okay, so

we get them all out. I searched the car and I find, you know, a couple you know, I think it's like four or five cigarettes of marijuana right underneath that guy where he was seated at you know, he gave me one, but he put the other four underneath the seat, you know, like I wasn't gonna find it. And I'm like, dude, I don't care. So I walked back. I hand him his weed. I'm like, is this were

those yours? Okay? Here, put them in your pocket. I don't care, and you know, and I pulled him all out and I searched him and I handcuffed each one and I literally I'm like, guys, only got five pair and they're six ye, so you know, and I looked at two of them. I'm like, do me a favor, you know, And you know, I literally hooked two of them around my bumper, handcuffed to each other, and I'm like, you know, I don't think you're gonna drag him through

the bumper. Okay. So we're talking and I back and I unhandcoff them all and I'm putting them all back in the car. And we go back up to the car, and as I'm handing the information back and I'm like, okay, here's your license, here's your license, all right, here's yours, here's the you know. And I'm like, explain to me

the plate on the car. And the guy goes, well, I own the plate and I just bought the car a week ago, and I'm going to transfer that plate, but I can't transfer it until and I looked at him, I said, do me a favor. Somebody get a screw driver, go out and take the plate off. I said, because right now you've got an improper plate, which means I can toll your vehicle, and I said, which means your plate can be impounded, the vehicle can be impounded. I said,

I'm not going to do any of that stuff. And uh, As I'm handing the guy the paperwork, he drops his license and he goes to reach for it, and all of a sudden, he just starts shaking and he's like, I wasn't reaching for anything. I'm like, neither was I. Dude, just chill out and he goes. And it was so funny because the guy in the back seat, all of a sudden, I hear this, and this guy and of course the guy who did it, I mean, he's he's

probably one of the darkest guys in the car. And one of the other guys turns and goes, oh my god, he just turned late.

Speaker 2

That's funny.

Speaker 3

And I'm like, I'm glad you guys can joke about it. And they're like no, no, and we're sitting there and we're laughing about I'm like, so I didn't reach for nothing either, dude, don't worry about it. You're all good. And we had the conversation and the guy looks at me and goes, you know, you're probably you're probably the coolest officer we've ever met. And I said, well, I said, do me a favor. I said, one, drive back to the hotel. Get your damn driver's license, so you got

it with you for the driver. And he's like, yep. I said, go back to the hotel. You're only a mile away. Go back, get your driver's license. Drive out to Saga do get the stuff done. You guys got to get done out there. Come on back because they're working here in town. And I said, and we'll call it good. I said, but make sure that plate's not on this vehicle any longer. I said. You guys don't need the headaches, you know. And I said if you've got an appointment scheduled, and he's like, well, I do,

but it's not for six and a half months. I said, okay, drive around with little license plate. I said, you got insurance. Yeah, okay, have fun, man, I said, you might get stopped. I said, but it's easier for me for us to deal with this, for with you saying, hey, look here I got the you know, I've got an appointment. I got all this scheduled. I said, I can deal with that a lot easier than that bad plate. And the guy looks at me and goes, wow. He goes, you're probably the coolest officer

we ever met. I said, well, that's cool. I said, you guys have a great day, you know, send them on their way. And about three days goes by and I'm not paying attention. I I have a tendency every once in a while I'll stop and I would get gin a diet coke from McDonald's, right, so just pull up and order her a diet coke. And I'm sitting there and all of a sudden, they're like, yeah, the car in front of it paid for your paid for your drink. And I'm like, oh, okay, and I look

up and I see it. All six were in the car waving at the back.

Speaker 2

You got a fan club now, and I'm like, you know.

Speaker 3

I wave. I'm like, thank you, guys, have a great day. Boom boom boom done. And I laughed because I've seen him. About a week later, they're in the parking lot of the hotel where they were at. I'm like, hey, how's everything going, and they're like, sweet, oh, it's good. That's We're glad at you. You know, answered a couple questions for him and on the way, and you know, it was just funny because the one guy torontoes. I've never dealt with a police officer who you know that we

didn't have problems with. And I looked at her, do me a favor. I said, you know, your buddy, here's got to warrant. I'll take care of I said, you're making money now, so it's one hundred dollars, fine, go pay it all. Oh, okay, cool, you know, but it was just unique to sit there and have that conversation with them and have them look at me and go, you're not the normal police officer. And I said, never happened.

Speaker 2

You know what. I appreciate that. And I think you and I don't know what it's like, you know, especially around that area. My dad was raised in Detroit in the city. My grandparents lived about six blocks off at Algiers where the riots were. Yeah, and I don't remember for sure what street they were on because they moved after that, but it was, you know, it was downtown.

And he had the same kind of stories. He was a chief's supervisor or superintendent at Chrysler, you know, an axle plant or something, and he said, ninety percent of the people that work for me or black, he said. And he said, and they don't get away with anything.

Speaker 3

Nope, you know, and I laughed because they you know, like, these guys were sitting there and I actually just seen one of them because they're One of the guys is back working for the same company. H Michigan Sugar has a big sugar plant all bite near us and they have a substation just outside of Sandusky. And the guy's back working and he's like, this is so neat that

you're you know that you know you're still here. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I do, no big deal, you know, and he It was funny because Toronto goes you probably don't recognize me. I'm like, I looked at him, like no, but I recognize the suburban.

Speaker 2

There you go. You know, that's one of the cool things about the line of work that you're in. You have the days that are stressful, but you also have the stories where you can have just this basic human connection with people. And so I'm going to ask you, you know, what would you say your greatest accomplishment is, h Well, that.

Speaker 3

Would be the two people we raised. Yeah, those two. I mean I looked back and Lex was you know, she's a chip off of her mother. You know, when you look back and realize, you know, here's a girl who I used to tell us they weren't they weren't volunteered. They were volunteered to do things, which they were, and but they did so many different things. You know, they helped with kids, camps for underprivileged children, they helped with kids that were you know, LEXI spent time I'm at

the child Advocacy Center. And then for her to go back to school and her to make a decision that you know, her degree was in nonprofit administration, so she wanted to do what her mother was doing. Yeah, and so that was a huge one. And then with Christian his I still think it was funny. But he always told us he wanted to be a pilot, and we I mean we actually have pictures his one of his senior pictures is him in a Western church because they

had the pilot program. And he literally, I mean when we visited Western, he turned and he's like, I'm not going to need a dorm room. I'll be living here at the you know, at the airport, you know type thing. And we were all like, okay, that's where he's going to go and then all of a sudden, just before the end of his senior year, he chose to go

to Central Michigan. And were looked at him and I'm like, okay, why and he looks at me and goes, well, you know, Dad, I can He goes, I can go to school for four years at Central. He goes, it's gonna goes. They're not offering many scholarships. They're not offering this, They're not

offering that. He said, you know, after four years of schooling maybe five, because the way the program is, I could be making close to one hundred thousand dollars a year, but I also have probably one hundred and fifty thousand dollars in debt. I said, Okay, he goes, Central's offering me a scholarship. I can go to school. I can

work in IT technology, I can get my degree. I can and then his other aspect of that was but in order to make that one hundred and ten one hundred and twenty thousand dollars a year, I'm never home. I said, Okay, he goes. If I go to school for IT technology, I can make one hundred and ten thousand for my basement and I looked at him. I said, yep, you're right, and I turned and I said, now I want you to remember one key thing of how you said this. And he goes, what's that? I said, you

said your basement, not my basement, your basement. And he looked and goes, oh, I see how it's gonna be, you know, But it was just it was a running joke. But because he literally I remember him telling my wife, you know, I think he was like eight or nine, and he told her. He goes, well, you know, I'm gonna go get married and then me and my wife are going to move in here with you guys. And I'm like, hell now, uhh. And you know, because he just loved to be home, you know, and he's kind

of a homebody. But he's also, like I said, he's the kid that would try anything when it came to food, and you know, he was the challenge. He was the one that you'd sit there and go okay, and you know, my daughter was easy because it's gonna be it's either spaghetti or it's gonna be chicken tenders and French friends. And then here he is going, oh no, I want sushi and I want this and I want this and I want to try, you know. You know, he's the kid who churning to me the one day he goes, yeah,

did you see that rattlesnake on the menu? And I looked him like it tastes like chicken, you know yeah, And he looks, goes, how do you know, I said, Grandpapa.

Speaker 2

You know yeah, I mean you see that movie everything tastes like chicken. It came from the Matrix. It was so beautiful, beautiful kids. And you know, I also want to just say I'm so sorry about your your loss with lex, you know, because she was an extraordinary young lady. And I don't really want to cut you short or take you something you really don't want to talk. But I'm real interested in who your favorite person to listen to is.

Speaker 3

Oh well, I let's let's see. As far as music goes, I listen from anything from Beethoven to Metallica and a C D C yep and I and and I love all kinds of kinds of music, which I still to this day in the same way. I mean, my dad used to pick on me, you know, because my father was the guy who played uh, let's see, he played baritone bass, sax trouble trouble saxophone, and he played five different saxophones in the clarinet when he was in high school.

And then I'm the guy who I play. I played the clarinet for a year, I got switched to tuba, and then in the middle of that I played tuba and trombone and then baritone, and then the percussion system would play the drums during and literally there were times during certain songs when I was in band that I would put down my tube and go over and play the timpani and then come back and pick up my

tuba in the middle of the same song. And you know, just in general, I just love any type of music, and that's where I would sit down, and to this day, I will sit down and listen to just about anything. Yeah, and there's and I really can't say there's. I don't really have a favorite song. Well I do, but that has more to do with.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

So that was the song that we chose as our wedding song.

Speaker 2

So an our song, right, Yeah, I think people who are in love with each other have an hour song. If you're not in love with each other, they don't have our songs for some reason.

Speaker 3

No, no, so's.

Speaker 2

It's this is great stuff, you know, and so you know, I'm not sure how old you are, but please complete this sentence when I grow up, I'd like to.

Speaker 3

Honestly, that's changed so much now. My goal and I part of my job is I go into the schools and I teach a program called Team, which is teaching, educating, and mentoring, and that has that's more of a passion now in working with the kids, you know, because I teach programs from k all the way up through kindergarten

all the way through twelfth grade. And then because of the kids, I went and got my self defense classes because I literally was at one school and I asked the kids, what's one thing that we've talked about or something that we didn't talk about that you think you should know? And I had twenty two girls out of a twenty eight the senior class the one year out of the one school, there was like twenty eight kids and there's only like six boys. And all twenty two

girls told me the same thing. They wanted a self defense class, and they felt that that was something they needed.

And so I started researching into self defense courses and found that there was one that I really liked, and it was something i'd been interested in for or you know, had looked into several years ago for myself, right, And so I started taking the classes on my own for myself that I found a class that actually incorporated for law enforcement, and then took the Personal Defense Readiness course

through SPEAR. And you know, I think just being able to impart that knowledge to these kids in all these different topics, whether it's you know, teaching about vaping and you know. And I tell the kids, I said, you know, my job is not to harp on you and tell you what bad things are going to happen to you. Right. I can tell you what the law is, but I also know the law doesn't matter. I said. What you need to know is how this affects you physically, what this can do to your body, and then you can

make an educated and informed decision. If this is something you want to continue doing, that's your choice. If it's something you want to If you're already doing it and you want to quit, here's some resources on how to quit. Yeah, and you know, and I tell the kids, I'm like, I said, this is only a few I got eight here and I'll tell them. I'm like, here, I got to you know, I'll pull up my phone and I've got a list of them. I said, you can take a screenshot, you know, come up, take a picture of

my phone. You've got all the information, same thing I'm giving you, and you can do what you want. I'm not going to ask you for your vape. I'm not going to ask you for your name. I'm not going to do anything. I'm not even going to ask for if this is for you or if it's for your you know, and all of them will, you know, half of them will say, well, it's for my mom or it's for my brother or whatever, and I'm like whatever,

I don't care. But you know, I did the one course at the one school for it was five hundred and fifty kids last year at the one school, and earlier this year, I went back in there. We're scheduling up the next for me to do that same course again this upcoming year. And there were ten kids that walked up and said thank you, and I looked at him like, huh. In the once a round goes thanks for what he goes. Your class meant a lot last year, and that's all I said.

Speaker 2

Well.

Speaker 3

Then they turned to me and they said, yeah, we haven't. We haven't seen him in the bathroom as much this year. So I'm like okay. And you know there was nine other kids that said the same thing. So I'm like, so by providing education, ten of them quit success.

Speaker 2

How about that? Huh?

Speaker 3

You know? And the principal turned to me and goes, we need you to do that again because you know, we've got the younger kids that are not seeing this yet. And I'm like, that's fine.

Speaker 2

So important work it really is is I mean, you're giving kids something to stand on a little bit more confidence, you know, if you know that you're you can handle yourself and can get away, which is what self defense is all about. It's not about fighting with somebody, it's about escaping, you know. So the interesting thing and all of that is is that you've done that kind of work with people of all ages, and to do it

with kids is so important. But what would today is the most important thing in life to you right now?

Speaker 3

Well? That came from actually my study in self defense, we do a deep dive into fear and understanding your fears. Yep, And you know I have one fear and people look at you and go, oh, you know. Actually, the guy who teaches the class turn to me the one day he goes, oh, you're probably like everybody else, you're you're afraid of death. And I looked at me. I said, oh, how him and I don't get a lot. I don't care about him at all. Yeah, when that happens, it happens,

I don't care a shit. Yeah, I said my fear. I said, my only fear is losing les or losing Christian and gen. Yeah, those are my fears. And I said, and that's something I can't there's nothing I can do about it, but you know, And then I turned to him my tongue. I'm like, that's the only fears I have. And he'll look at me, and he finally the one day he turned around and we literally sat down and we talked for probably like forty five minutes, right, fear.

And he looked at me and goes, you're the first guy I'm gonna I'm gonna believe who said you don't fear death? And I said no, I said, honestly, I said there's times. I said, you know, I said, I faced it so many times. And I said, and not you know, I said, I've you know, part of my job is for for twenty five of my twenty six years, i've been a medical examiner special investigator, so I investigate every death that takes place within my jurisdiction. So you know,

I've faced it. I've seen it. I've seen the bad side, I've seen the good side. And the one thing I learned is that the way and how I approach the living means everything more than what I did than what took place when I was dealing with the debt, right, And that's where I find my my side of turning to like, you know, this little this younger kid who's asking me questions in law enforcement, and I'll turn to him. I not the first out look at him and says, the one thing you've got to learn is I said,

And he took I turned him. I said, don't ever, I said, especially in this situation. I said, it's easy for somebody to say I'm sorry. And I said, and that's probably I said to me, that's the worst thing you can say. Yeah, And he looks and goes, what do you mean? I said, I said, you can look at him and go I'm trying to understand how you feel. And you know, if you have some knowledge, you can say, you know, I don't know exactly how you feel, but I you know, I have lost somebody in my past,

and I understand how that can affect you. I said, but use your empathy. I said, empathy will get you so much further than sympathy. And the one kid looked at me and goes, oh, good God. And I told him, I said, I said, that's the hardest thing you will ever have to do, right, I said, because you know, in law enforcement they tell you you're not supposed to feel anything. You're supposed to be a rock. And I said, you can't be. No, then you're just a dick.

Speaker 2

Yeah, yeah, you're that guy.

Speaker 3

And he looks at me and goes And I turned to him and I said, and I know you you're not a dick. Yeah, And he looked at me and goes, okay, you know, and he just kind of stepped back and he's like, that's probably the best advice I've been given. And I turned him. I'm like, said, that's the one advice I can give everybody is that's the one thing you gotta do, is you need to be a human being. You can't be a robot. Yeah, you know, And I said, and

human beings use empathy, not sympathy. And he turned and he finally looked at me and goes, I get you know, I really understand where you're coming from. I said, I know you do. And I said, you know, just think of what you've gone through, and you've had losses, and you've had things that happened. It might not be the exact same, but if you can use compassion and empathy, you'll get so much further. And then, like I told him, I said, it's kind of like I said, when you're

dealing with a suspect. I said, you know, there are so many times where I have wanted to literally reach across the table and grab this guy and beat the hell out of him, but I also know I can't. But I also know if I can get him to think I'm his friend, I might get a confession, which

might save victim. And he kind of looked at me and goes, and I said, some of the best interviews you'll ever do is when you sit there and you talk to a guy who you may I said, I said, and you might have to do this, I said, I've done it to myself where I've gone, and I know, I'm like walking and going, Okay, he's a human being. He deserves to be treated like one. He's a human being.

He deserves to be treated like one. And then after he walks out and we're done, and I've got all the confession and I got all the information I needed, and he's walking back and he's leaving, and he's going probably in ninety percent of the time, he's going to a cell and I'm like, okay, did my part. And as soon as I'm out of their sight, I look and I'm like punching a wall like a point. Ye oh that he's a shit, you know. And then I

told him, I said, that's the hard thing. I said, but that's what you've got to do to get your your points true. Yeah.

Speaker 2

So so, Matt, what would you like to leave in the world after you're done?

Speaker 3

Well, I know I'm going to leave a garden on which you know, but I hope the one thing because I challenge my when I do do a class, i'm bullying or when I did my class. I did a class earlier this week where we talked about safety and we talk about you know, one of the things I talked to the kids about is you have rights, and some of those rights and we'll talk about that. They have the right to be safe, they have the right

to be themselves. But with that right, you also have the responsibility to allow everybody else to be themselves as well. And we talk about that, and then I tell them, I said, I carry my challenge right here on my arm. You know, I have a tattoo that says it's got a blue rose and then it's got a monarch butterfly with the name Chevelle over it, and then a blue tiger yellow tiger swallowtail with the name Riviera underneath it, which is my two granddaughters, and then it says love, laugh,

live like Lexi. And I tell the kids, I said, this is my challenge to me, and I make the same challenge to you, and now look at me, and I go, this is the challenge. I said. Lexi was the child that no matter what age level, grade, whatever, she would go find somebody who is by themselves and go talk with yep. And many times almost every one of those people will say she was one of my

best friends. And her thing was she'd been bullied and she knew what it was like, but she also knew she didn't like it, and she didn't want to put anybody else through it, so she would and encourage them to be themselves. And so you know, I still say this. You know, when I told Jen, I said, you know, well we lost lax, I said, I gained I gained two more sons. I said, I lost my daughter and my granddaughters, but I gained two sons. Jason, who was Lexi's best friend, and you know, he he came out

because Lexi encouraged him to be himself. And you know, he actually turned to Jen and I a little while ago and said, you know, if I get married, can you guys walk me down the aisle? And I'm like, okay. You know, he and I talked probably well, well, I message him through Snapchat a couple times a week and we talked back and forth. And then there's a couple of times we'll talk and we might talk or text

message for half hour, forty five minutes or talk. And it's funny because he'll turn and go, you know, you know, and he'll say the same thing because he recently, just after Let's passed, he lost his dad and he said, he goes, it's nice knowing I have a dad still, you know. So and then Derek, who was lexi fiance, you know, he's still you know, he's still a part of the family and always will be. And so you know, turned him like, so I went from having a son

and a daughter to having three sons. Yeah, and you know that's been a it's been a tough change, but it's still you know. And like I told them, I said, I challenge I'll challenge the kids, and I'll have the kids look at me and go, oh my god. And I told him, I said, Now, the funny thing is because they looked and the one girl goes, well, your tattoos in the wrong order, and I said, oh no,

actually it's not. I said, you know, the sign says live, laugh, love, and they said, well, yeah, but your says love, laugh, live, And I said, well, that's because Lexi wanted to buy one of those signs, but she didn't want the ones that were attached. She wanted them so the words were separated because she wanted to put them love, laugh, live. And I finally looked at her and I said, okay, explain yourself. Why why you know, what's with the change

in the order. And she looked and she goes, well, you know, they say, if you live, you'll love and you'll laugh. And I said, yep. She goes, that's not the way it goes. She goes, you love and you laugh. She goes, you got love first, then you're always going to laugh. And she goes, and that's when you live.

Speaker 2

Well, okay, yean and argue with that logic.

Speaker 3

Nope, So you know, and that's where I always say. I said, so that's why it's love, laugh, live like Lexi, And I said, that's my challenge to live to her standards, and I challenge everybody else to the state standard. And when you tell that to a group of fifth graders or fourth graders and you know, and someone will look at you going and they're almost bawling. But then you've got I've got other kids that will sit there and go.

And the one kid looked at me and goes, oh my god, you guys have the garden over in Sandusky, And I said, yeah. He goes go there every weekend, you know, and to hear that story and hear that and I'm like, okay, you know, So that's that's my goal, is to pass that on.

Speaker 2

I think that that is not only admirable, but it's also really great that you're able to see it in action while you're here. That's a big deal. So we're at the last question, believe it or not? And I know, you know about bakers, when you buy a dozen, they give you a thirteenth one. So I figured i'd give people a thirteenth question as well, you know, thirteenth for the price. Well, what is the thing that most people misunderstand about you, Matt?

Speaker 3

Well, I guess, like I said, it's a lot of it because of what I do for a living, right people, and then my size. I'm a big guy. They mistake that. They for some reason, everybody thinks I want to fight with everybody, And ninety percent of my time I don't want to fight with anybody, right, I want to talk.

I want to you know. That's how I communicate, you know, And I think that's the one thing I want people to understand is, yeah, you can be a big guy, and yeah, I'm going to tell you if we get into a fight, it's probably not gonna go well, you know, I'm you know, and I will tell you I don't fight fair. I mean, there's no there's no such thing as a fair fight unless you're standing in the middle of a boxing ring or one of those MMA rings, even though sometimes are right, you know, so you know,

but there's rules. I'm sorry, when I get into a fight, there's there's not a rule. It's just you know. And the answer to me is, I'm going home at night. I don't, you know. And I told the one guy, and I remember this one guy looking at me. I tr to him. I said, he said, you have two choices, and he looked. He goes, what's that. I said, we can go you can walk back in, and you can walk in and there won't be a problem. He goes, okay,

but what's my other choice? I said, if we go through this, you're probably going to get dragged out of here in a stretcher. And the guy looked and I said, because I'm I looked at the guy. I'm like, you're you're six foot eight, you're almost four hundred pounds. I'll shoot your ass. And he was like what And I turned him. I'm like and I told him that. I said, I said, I'm not I said, you're huge, You're built like a mac truck and no offense, but I said, you know, if it comes down to it, I'll shoot

you if I have to. And the guy looked and it was so funny because upholls this other officer because I was literally staring down this guy by myself and up this other guy and he runs over and he goes over and he hugs this other off She's like, he scared me. And he looks. He looks and goes, what the hell that come? The good guy? And he walked him back in and we're all like, okay, you know, and he looks and goes, when did I How am I the nice guy for one? I'm like, I don't know,

I'm the bad guy for once? Yeah? You know. He always said you're always the nice guy. How they know? Am I the nice guy? I looked at him, I said, and I told him what I said, and he goes, okay, I got, I got. I guess I know how you're why you're the bad guy this time? Yeah? You know? And I guess that's the one thing most people don't understand is honesty. And you know, if you're if you're

honest with me, I have given some huge breaks to people. Yeah, you know, you know, and I guess one of those that I still to this day, I will I always laugh at it. But I'll give you one story about honesty that I always find to be one of the best ones. So myself and another officer, and he was the guy that no matter if you get pulled over by him, you're getting a ticket. Okay, that's pretty much it. And he's sitting next to me, and then if the two of us are in a car together, somebody's probably

going to jail. It just just almost always ended up that way. We'd get somebody with warrants or something. You know, we'd get, you know, somebody do something stupid, and you know, somebody's going to jail then. And so we're in a car together and he looks and goes and he's in the mood. You know, he's got the ticket book in hand and he's all he's like, it's gonna be a fun night. I'm looking at him like, dude, come on.

And we're driving down this side street and all of a sudden, this car blows this stop side literally turns the car sideways, and then this car's fishtailing coming at us in R lane and then fishtails back the other way. And then finally gets over on the side of the road and we're I mean, like, there's a city park like right here. It's twenty five mile hours on and this guy's probably doing forty and we're like, oh my god,

and he just blew the stops. So I whip on the lights and the guy just flips around and he stops. And I go walking up to the car and I look at this kid and he's maybe sixteen years old or just turn sixteen, actually just turned sixteen like three days and he's sitting there and he's shaking and he's crying. And I looked at him, like, so do you know why we stopped you? And it was like the scene from Liar Liar. This kid takes this huge breath and he goes, I was speeding. I turned the car sideways.

I nearly hit you head on. I was doing this. I did this. I also blew this stops and I didn't have my seatbelt. And I looked at him like okay, and I looked over the car at the other off she like what hell is this?

Speaker 2

You know?

Speaker 3

And he's like he's standing in there looking at me like what just happened? And I turned the case, I said, so, can you tell me what's going on why. He's like, I literally just got my license three days ago. And we're like, okay, so driving like an idiot for what reason? He's like, literally, my girlfriend just broke up with me. She lives down here, and I came from her house and I was just upset and I didn't know what

to do and blah blah blah. So we're sitting there and let him, let him talk and cry for a minute. I'm like, okay, dude, do me a favor. Just breathe, Just chill and breathe for a little bit. And he's he's doing that, and I said, okay, so are you okay now a little bit, you know? And I'm like, okay, do me a favor. So I showed him how to box breathe. And I'm teaching him how to breathe, and the sergeant's standing there looking at me, like you're teaching

him how to breathe, like he's got a comment. So I'm like, I want you to be able to drive home, but I want you to drive home normally, not the way you were just driving. And he's like okay, okay. So he's breathing, and I get him calm. I said, Okay, you do this for a little bit. We'll be back

to talk to you in a couple of minutes. And as I get back in the car, I go back and I see the sergeant sitting there with the ticket book in his hand, and he opens the little screen that goes to the back seat and he takes the ticket book and he throws it through the back window. And then he reaches down and grabs my ticket book

and throws it through the back window. And then he closes the screen and goes, Now, if you can get through the screen to get into the back seat to get it, you can you can write him a ticket. And I looked him like, well, I hadn't planned on writing him a ticket now, I said, I've never had anybody so honest with me in my entire life. And he goes, well, me, neither. He goes. He goes and you know, we've all done stupid ship when we broke up with a girlfriend, and you know, at his age,

and blah blah blah blah. I understand. I'm like, yeah, we've all done stupid things.

Speaker 2

Yep.

Speaker 3

So we go on and I go up and I give the kid a verbal warning and I send him on his way. So about three years or about five years later, now the other officer had left our department. He's working for another department. And I'm heading to a training and while I'm getting ready to sign up, I'm looking and I see that he's heading to the same training. So I taught. I went Colin and I'm like, hey, you want to meet up and drive together. He's like, sure, I got the department car. Come on over, meet up

with me, and we'll go down on our car. Okay. So we go down together and we're in Oakland County and we're sitting there. We're taking this class and I think it was on auto theftter something. It was just kind of a BS class type thing, and we're kind of sitting there and there's this kid. They're staring at us. He's just staring at the two of us. He's like, did we beat him up? Or what the hell? You know? Do you know that kid? I'm like, he said, he looks familiar, but I said, I can't put a name

with it. So we're sitting there and then he comes up to us and goes, hey, what are you guys? Doing for lunch. I don't know. Come on, I'll drive you guys could come with me, okay, whatever. So you know he's from Oakland County. He's Oakland County deputy. So we went with them, went to eat, and we're sitting there. I think we I think we went to like Famous

Daves or something like that. So you know, we're sitting there and all of a sudden, we're waiting for our checks and we're like I finally I waved down the I'm like, hey, we got to get our checks so we can go. And she goes, they're already paid for. Well, I mean they're paid for, and she goes, he paid for the hell's that for? He goes, he goes, well, you guys don't remember I said no. He goes and he gives us his name, and I'm sitting there going, okay, I know I know that last name. I know I

know you, and he goes, he goes, how's this. I blew a stout side and I was doing forty miles an hour to twenty five. I turned on the car sideways and I nearly hit you head on. Looked up like, holy shit, he's now you know, he's now a deputy for them, and he turned he goes, I remember what you guys did for me, and now I try and make sure I use the same treatment for other people. And he goes, he goes, and nobody believe my story that you know, Dwayne Gilly gave me didn't give me a ticket.

Speaker 2

Very very very very clear. I like it.

Speaker 3

Yeah, so that was That's one of those ones where you just look back and go that's something I can pass on.

Speaker 2

So well, clearly he left an impression on him, and he went on to be a deputy and I'm sure he's probably distinguished himself since then.

Speaker 3

Oh yeah he has. Actually we just actually Gilly contacted me. He's like, he goes. You won't believe it. I said, what he goes? He goes, I just seen the kid, said, Oh what's he doing? He goes, Well, he was just at my up up here at at Lapure taking swat school training with me. I'm like, okay, he goes, he passed sniper school a few years ago.

Speaker 2

Wow.

Speaker 3

And I'm like, I'm sweet. Yeah, and you know, and here he is, you know, he's he's taking and he told Gilly, he goes, I remember that you were a sniper and he goes, and I remember, you know, you know, everybody was always worried about the sniper and all this because you were a sniper and you were on the swat team. And he goes, he goes, I wanted to be like you. He goes, and then he goes, I know, Jail calls a firearm instructor, so I went and became

a firearms instructor. And he goes, you know, and Keilly turns around and goes seriously, and he goes, yeah, he goes, he turned around. He goes, Honestly, he goes. There's times where I look back and go, you know, just meeting those two guys and talking with him and realizing your humans and your nice people and this and that. He goes, Ben the best thing I've ever done. And I look back and like, wep. I finally I turned to Gilly the last time, and I'm like, so apparently we did one thing.

Speaker 2

Right, Yeah, not bad for twenty six years, eh, right, Matt, thank you so much. It's been an amazing, amazing conversation. And I've learned so much, so much, so many questions that I've got, especially about the food.

Speaker 3

Oh, I understand that do you have any questions of me? No, Actually, you know, Jen kind of explained everything, and I think it's I think it's awesome idea of what you're trying to do. And you know, we both said the same thing, We're honored that you've asked us to be a part of it.

Speaker 2

Well we've we've met through the Grief Network, and you know, quite frankly, I'm more than happy to make friends with anybody who's had a loss, but who can articulate, as you said earlier, that empathetic side of of not knowing what it's like for other people, but sure knowing what it's like for you. You know.

Speaker 3

Yeah, well, and that's the thing I mean, I still think that, you know, I know, like with my group that I'm a part of with Helping Fathers Heal, that program and that book that we did. You know, I've had people contact me from the book, you know, and

from when we were at the conference. I've had three or four people contact me they're like, hey, do you remember, And I'm like, yeah, I remember talking with you at the conference, and I remember, you know, going over certain parts of the book with you and that type of thing. And you know, I had one guy contact me and he said, he goes, he goes, we can't do a garden at you know, at the level that you guys did.

And I said, nobody expects anybody to do anything. You know, you you do what you want to do to honor your person. Yes, And he he churned and he said, he goes, Well, he goes, I he goes, I did. He fixed a small garden that was around a mother Mary at the local church that he and he goes. It's not even a church I go to. He goes. He goes, not Catholic because it's for the Catholic church.

He goes, but he goes, I drove past the one day and he goes, you know, he goes, you know, my daughter's name was Mary.

Speaker 2

Wow.

Speaker 3

And he goes, I seen this and then he goes it was he was it was upsetting to look at. So he went through and he cleared out the area around it, helped planet and help recreate this little sitting area around the mother Mary. And he tround. He goes, he goes that, he goes, he goes, it sounds weird. He goes. But the whole time I could hear my daughter And I told him like, yeah, I said, And I said, he goes, and I still find myself going

there once in a while. And I told him, I said, that's why I go to our garden literally, I said. Almost every day I work, I try and take it a little bit of my time my day and I'll walk out to the garden. I said, whether it's middle of winter or summer or whatever, I try and walk out to the garden. I said, because I hear my girls there.

Speaker 2

Yeah.

Speaker 3

And I said, but I also hear them everywhere else now. And he turned on he's like, you know, and he told me he was you know, he's like, he goes. I never thought i'd do something like what I did for that, for that little that little area he goes. He goes, it's ten foot by ten foot. I'm like, that's huge, yeah, you know. And I looked at me. I said, I said, so it's ten foot by ten foot, that's a hundred feet so and he kind of looked at me. That's awesome.

Speaker 2

So well, Matt, you know what, as much as I'd like to just keep going on forever, and we got to wrap the folks at home, and you know, you've been very generous with all your sharing and insights and everything, and ladies and gentlemen, Matt's a little bit different breed a cat, and I think you've given us given us some good things to think about. With that said, I want to address one more thing to you folks at home.

It's my normal request to you when we're about to sign off, and I'd like you to reach out to someone that you know, like or love in your life and let them know that your world works because they're around, and that if they ever need you, you're always just a phone call away. You can help them with a smile, or you can go be with them if they need it, but let them know that it means a lot that you're here. So having said that, Matt, I want to thank you again for being on. You did a great

job with us. Thank you, thank you, And ladies and gentlemen, we are Simple Questions for one hundred People. I'm Bill Correll, and thank you very much for your participation and listening.

Speaker 1

All right, for now you've been listening to Simple Questions for one hundred People, part of the x Audio podcast network. You can catch every episode of Simple Questions plus the rest of the network at Xvadio dot com, the Apple Podcasts app, YouTube, Spotify, iHeartRadio, Audible, Amazon Music, and wherever you find podcasts.

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