Career juror Donna Crums has a lot going on in her life, but wouldn't you know dumb old Siggy Fraud Ian Herrin seems intent to make yet another session all about his life and his recent experimentation with self-severancing. The deep traumas Donna must have endured growing up the child of a sunflower might explain some of her binging tendencies that have led her into her current career predicament. Donna, please make it your #careergoal #lifegoal escaping Ian's office space and never coming back...
Jul 11, 2022•52 min•Season 1Ep. 35
The droopy dog energy Doug Lafontane joins Ian in the office to discuss his dismay over not being invited to his neighbor's 4th of July barbecue. If only someone could help Doug realize he's too concerned with safety and not nearly outgoing and friendly enough to accomplish his goals, however, Ian is far from that person. Instead Ian distracts with yet another tale of Selena Gomez, a unique approach to moisturizing, and merciless barbs at Doug's physical appearance. Get out of there, Doug!!! Tod...
Jul 04, 2022•59 min•Season 1Ep. 34
Celebrity Blind Gossip columnist Dana Wildebeest has experienced a trauma that’s been haunting her over the last week or so. No matter how hard Ian tries to put Dana in a 7 or 11 box, there may simply be no explanation for the supernatural psychic phenomena she is currently experiencing. And at Ian's rate, she's bound to get dizzy with all of his speculations as to what is going on, but how could he know? I tell you Dana's tale is one that is truly stranger than any fiction I've ever heard of! T...
Jun 27, 2022•45 min•Season 1Ep. 33
Ya gotta feel bad for Peter Casey, the time traveler who just wants to makes friends but struggles with basic human interactions. But perhaps he's overthinking things. After all, in 12 attempts, it was the 6th that proved the most successful when Peter attempted to befriend the barista at his local coffee conglomerate. But a Sigmund Fraud like Ian is hardly the type of therapist you want to be turning to for advice on how to make friends... Jackpot! You reached the part of the episode descriptio...
Jun 20, 2022•50 min•Season 1Ep. 32
Derek arrives to Ian's office quoting Jeff Bridges after having gotten plastic surgery to look exactly like James Bond actor Roger Moore in a sign he's clearly a very confused and troubled young man. Even if no other therapist will see Derek, does he really deserved the treatment of a UCB weekend team GOAT reject like this Sigmund Fraud proves to be? Maybe if Derek was getting really good advice, he would suck it up and move to LA like all his other friends.... Not just my opinion, man, but this...
Jun 13, 2022•50 min•Season 1Ep. 31
It is unknown where he came from or where he's going, but very unfortunately Ian's next patient CoJo shares a name based on his real ailment with a controversial and very possibly racist song that originated in the American South. Please moms of the world, if your son has cotton balls for eyes, don't name that child Joe! And furthermore, don't send them to see a total sham of a therapist like Ian! It can only end badly, I guarantee it. Now that your eyes have un-fluffed from all of the above, yo...
Jun 06, 2022•54 min•Season 1Ep. 30
The woman behind the person behind XOXO Gossip Girl is none other than the very stressed ghost writer Beatrice Clarc. Without access to her local coffee shop, how can Beatrice be expected to get any work done? Speaking of not getting work done, the sleep depraved C.T.W.R.O.S. himself once again seems on the lookout for fast and easy solutions for his clients without any consideration of real world consequences. Get out of there, Beatrice! Recognize the red flags and don't come back!! You might h...
May 30, 2022•45 min•Season 1Ep. 29
25% of all television watchers between 2:15-3:15 am already know Spud Favreau, ESPN's only movie award show commentator. However, very few people know Spud actually has rather nefarious aspirations to slowly takeover the world. Maybe a good therapist could have talked Spud down and make him realize what a failed corporate genetic experiment he is, though of course old dumb dumb CTWROS Ian Herrin not only indulges every Spud flight of fantasy but also goes off on his own wild and overly revealing...
May 23, 2022•51 min•Season 1Ep. 28
Twinkie Franklin is a woman out of her time. She could use a lot of advice ever since her well of writing dialogue for songs has run dry, but it's not like this joker Ian who calls himself a therapist is going to be much help. I mean, Ian doesn't even know what year it is, for God's sake! Although to be fair, Twinkie may not know who is president in 2022 herself. Be sure to batten down your radios and avoid the Shangri-Las lest Twinkie visit you next! Pssssst, I hate to leak this, but Rebecca Mc...
May 16, 2022•45 min•Season 1Ep. 27
Bruce, turn around!! Ian is a toxic therapist and your dynamic is wildly unhealthy! I know you're a robot trying desperately to become human but this oversexed weirdo of a shrink literally colors in his coloring book instead of trying to listen or help you with your issues. Not even a nationalist former AOL disk deserves the fate of Ian's "creative" form of treatment! RUN AWAY!!! Bing bong! Bing bong! Have you heard the good word about the fantastically talented improviser and comedian Brandon Z...
May 09, 2022•45 min•Season 1Ep. 26
Reece Fine would by all accounts seem to be just fine! Reece is wonderfully engaged with the world around him and seems to be well off financially thanks to a fulfilling career doing something he loves. And yet, Ian seems intent on digging and prying himself into negativity. Not even the fun accoutrements around the office distract from Ian giving perverse solution after perverse solution for something that may not have been that big of a problem to begin with... For those who find themselves in...
May 02, 2022•45 min•Season 1Ep. 25
Eeeek, a mouse!! Mice don't need therapy do they? And if they did, they certainly shouldn't get treatment from that 50's greaser shrink Ian Herrin. Even having your arm snapped off in a peanut butter trap has got to be better than some of the advice this wacko gives out! Petey is a father with 17 kids to be worrying about, but of course all Ian does it make it about sex... AGAIN. Good luck to ya, Petey! At least you can blend in anywhere you go with your skill for accents. Hey, you! Down here!! ...
Apr 25, 2022•46 min•Season 1Ep. 24
Poor Amelia "Larkin" is perhaps the most aghast patient yet as she lets Ian stew in his own stupidity over and over again. It's really nuts how little Ian listens to her and how much he feels the need to instead constantly mansplain history and science. I hope Amelia and Chelsea can overcome this asshole and his terrible advice (wink). Good show old chap, you've made it to the most interesting part of the episode description! The part where I talk about how wonderful Adaire Kamen is! Better yet,...
Apr 18, 2022•47 min•Season 1Ep. 23
102 year old Betsy always makes the best of her life with the exception in her choice of therapist. Betsy has seen just about everything living on 110th street in New York all these years, including a surprisingly large number of anthropomorphic animals. Ian seems intent on making her depressed and himself sexy instead of actually trying to learn something important about the history all around him. Hey, you! Down here for the good stuff! Be sure to follow Julie Kann @julie_kann on Twitter and @...
Apr 11, 2022•49 min•Season 1Ep. 22
Steven Lockley is obsessed with Moon Knight but lives a rather puny existence. Poor little Steven depends on the kindness of neighbors just to make sure he can eat his dinner! But something more sinister seems to be going on... Something that a weak ass therapist like Ian Herrin will never be able to resolve peacefully... Oh you like to read down here? Well have you heard about the powerhouse performer that is Billy Soco? Follow Billy @bsoco and check out https://linktr.ee/billysoco for all Bill...
Apr 04, 2022•53 min•Season 1Ep. 21
Love is abound when Paulie Frontbutt comes in to Ian's office in what is clearly a violation of the ethical principals a real therapist would have. Paulie seems to suffer a hyper specific form of kleptomania, but under the supervision of this fraud the only good Paulie sounds like he's going to do is wash his car. Plus, Ian runs up the bill by killing time talking regional grocery store chains and being of no service to any substantive form of mental health. Are you looking at me? Or are you may...
Mar 28, 2022•50 min•Season 1Ep. 20
LIVE from Under St. Marks, Sigmund Fraud himself interviews patients Barbara Cumb, Trey Dilfer, and Hellen Highwater about their court mandated therapy and their lives as venture capitalists. These three are clearly some sick puppies in desperate need of some hard call outs, but Ian instead seems to only want to talk about sex, dead parents, and whom else they can blame for their situation. What's on my mind you ask? How kind of you! You know, there's three comedians I love to death that always ...
Mar 24, 2022•29 min•Season 1Ep. 19
Poor old Hal sure is hard on himself! And Ian ain't the guy to help. I mean, some of the implications of the advice he gives in this session are simply obscene. How many times must Hal to be forced to reenter? And how does he not realize that Ian is going to be draining his Touchdown Bank account? I sure hope Hal has a good long look in the mirror and decides to never go back. Oh hey friend! Was also just thinking about how much Brian Gurien makes me smile. https://www.briangurien.com/...
Mar 21, 2022•45 min•Season 1Ep. 18
Dom Pants is an old school kind of guy used to simple Thursdays of slicing moooooozerella and running into old friends. It's hard to believe a classic guy's guy like Dom would need a shrink to be giving him advice, but would you believe he picked the dumbest one in town on top of that? Ian subs to Dom's dom right away and maybe it's better if he chokes on a cigar pinky rather than say anything else soo stupid, you know what I'm saying? By the by... *LIVE SIGMUND FRAUD TONIGHT MONDAY 3/14 9pm UND...
Mar 14, 2022•56 min•Season 1Ep. 17
Hallmark actor Prieston Hartley find himself in a perpetual holiday season even in March. Prieston seems to have displaced a number of memories and struggles working in the factory system of pumping out film after film, but he shan't find warmth and family values in the dark perverted soul of Ian Herrin. How will the town choir ever raise enough money to continue with Ian blabbering on and on about his new paint class and eating soup on first dates? And does Ian even have the balls to call out w...
Mar 07, 2022•51 min•Season 1Ep. 16
Avid Dungeons & Dragons player Harry Chan must've rolled terrible on perception and insight to have Ian Herrin as his therapist. Harry is clearly struggling after forgetting to pick up his mother-in-law from the airport but Ian's solution won't be of much real help. Perhaps Ian is the monster that Harry has been campaigning against all along..... Hmmmmmm, was just thinking about how wonderful Doug Jow is.... @dougjow wherever you social media
Feb 28, 2022•48 min•Season 1Ep. 15
Uber driver James Asavarahap (James Asa for short) joins Ian after a long hiatus from therapy. James is a sensitive, hard working, thoughtful, and well intentioned bro that just wants people to do their own research. James is also frequently struck by moments of invention, although please don't ask him to describe how his future product might be used! A better therapist maybe could help James find more stillness in his life and make deeper connections, but does Ian do that? Not by a long shot......
Feb 21, 2022•48 min•Season 1Ep. 14
Rap star Thicki Kitti has been sent to therapy by Crippled Bills Record Label to convince her to release not only her single "Cuz I'm Naked" dropping March 4th, but a whole album that they can exploit and profit from. What Thicki Kitti doesn't realize is that Ian is on the take and won't be of much impartial help either on her road to self-discovery nor to get any closer to that ring in the Himalayas she can't stop thinking about. Alas, even some amazing freestyling post-meditation shan't be eno...
Feb 14, 2022•46 min•Season 1Ep. 13
It me.... Isn't he soooo rude to me in this session? I want to punch him right in his cryogenically frozen face sometimes. He's rude to the people he improvises with, he's rude to his premium patients, and I think his whole practice very well might be a scam. Also, why does he keep the tapes if he just puts all the episodes in his personal cloud anyways? What a dickwad.... I keep going off on tangents but Erin Harland is an incredible musician whom I've been trying to support. You can check out ...
Feb 10, 2022•52 min•Season 1Ep. 12
Sherri seems to be struggling with an extreme form of OCD centered around recipe books. And perhaps some lingering postpartum depression from her vaginal birth. But the dillweed of a therapist known as Ian won't be of much help to her in tackling these demons will he? To the contrary, Ian seems intent to pile more and more of a load on top of Sherri's burden. Masturbation and love are NOT the same thing Ian! Just between us, have you followed the tremendous improviser and comedian Carolyn Egan o...
Feb 07, 2022•47 min•Season 1Ep. 11
Reality Star Burbank V. of The Ultimate Asskicker's Race seems to dissociate when he thinks he's being filmed. It is as if he has been performing his personality for so long that he has no real identity. But would Ian Herrin be able to help with any of this? I think not. I bet he doesn't even watch Ultimate Asskicker's Race. Maybe Burbank could have come to some real breakthroughs if he had seen a real professional. At the very least, Burbank could've learned that it's okay to be somewhere just ...
Feb 03, 2022•46 min•Season 1Ep. 10
AM Radio personality Jack Knight explores the supernatural and extraterrestrial for a living, and yet he can't see through how terrible of a therapist Ian is?? Ian could've helped Jack to resolve major communication issues between him and his wife Diane, but instead Ian seems more keen to keep reworking a business venture he find himself heavily invested in... Neither here nor there, but wowza is the comedian and improviser Aaron Shelton something else or what? You can hear Aaron weekly on the K...
Jan 31, 2022•52 min•Season 1Ep. 9
Well now this is a doozie! Apparently this patient thinks they are an assistant coach for the NBA's Oklahoma City Thunder and also the nephew of coaching legend Doc Rivers. If Ian was a good therapist, he'd realize fairly quickly that none of this is true and it's all a grand delusion of whomever this mystery guest really is. Ian doesn't exactly do a great job of avoiding Ronnie's conversational traps to discuss hot button issues nor does Ian actually help the fictitious person Ronnie claims to ...
Jan 27, 2022•58 min•Season 1Ep. 8
Poor Martha is having issues with her beloved boyfriend Q, but Ian shan't be able to help with that... Martha's a smart cookie and she's catching on to Ian's BS right away, but the steal of a deal Ian keeps offering her seems to bring her back. Ian should know that therapists should be more than just the friend of their client. Ian should also know when to say no to role play. Nothing to do with this therapy session, but the wonderful improviser Fu Goto is someone you should absolutely come out ...
Jan 24, 2022•50 min•Season 1Ep. 7
Oh poor Charles Bandacoot! Charles is clearly suffering from his sore swollen left foot. Not to mention his complicated family dynamic with his mother. Alas, Charles is about to discover he won't find the same healing powers of Citibank in Ian Herrin as a therapist. Rather than being able to diagnose a psychosomatic financially dependent, Ian instead appears to find a personal vendetta against Charles seemingly out of thin air. P.S. How great is the wonderful comedian Jerry Burgos? He's the best...
Jan 20, 2022•52 min•Season 1Ep. 6
