Crushes - why do we get them? ft. DJ Mausner

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Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Controversial subjects with effects can be tense But we are ASAP Science, here to make things make sense

Today, we are talking about crushes with the hilarious comedian DJ Masner. We're going to be talking about where they come from, how they affect your body physiologically, and also some of our favorite crushes right now are crushes of the past, and it's a lot.

I bet a beaten heart. Oh, what did we learn this week? I was rereading a book that I loved called Inconspicuous Consumption, going through all the highlighted parts, and I found something that I really... You had time to reread a book this year?

mitch i'm like how like i am so bored like i'm like how are you you're really good you have australian survivor i yeah i don't have the mental capacity to read lately so sorry for interrupting so freaking bored i'm like of course i can reread this year i'm just staring at walls i'm like i might as well

some letters in front of it anyways it's about expiry dates and how they're not regulated and let's focus on america because it's different per country per province for example in canada but i'm gonna focus on america that's where most of our listeners are um It's not regulated as a whole. So when you see on the packaging like packed by or sell by or any of those dates, there's no regulating body to say whether or not that matters. Essentially, you can...

it's really important that you don't necessarily, you can use them as like guidance, but it's not a be all end all. A lot of people look at that and they go, Oh, it's past the day. And they throw it out. It doesn't, it has nothing to do with microbial growth or any sort of health thing. So for example,

In New York, there's no label regulation. In New Hampshire, the sell-by date is required on milk, but not on cream. What? Yeah, there's all these interesting... Just like weird quirks of who knows why this became this way. Yeah, there's just laws put in place like...

years ago and there's not a regulating body especially let's think of america for the whole country to understand what these numbers actually mean and so refed is an anti-food waste program and they estimate estimate that by standardizing date labels you'd prevent 400 thousand tons of food per year from going to landfills. Whoa.

Just by finding like one system that accurately or at least like consistently measures. Yeah. Because I think I fall for it. I look. Oh, true. Yeah. You go, it's in your head and then you go like, I think. Maybe the milk does smell bad. Yeah, you're like, all of a sudden, the healthy hummus you got that tasted weird to begin with. Yeah, it tastes a lot of that word. Yeah, it's definitely half mental. And you're like, I don't see anything, but I can smell a bit of sour.

It's important that you see packed by, you see sell by, and you know these aren't be-all, end-alls because it'll help you with your food waste. But I get why it's like a... interesting thing to say i don't want to be like all of a sudden they're like like side note nace i'm science like gave me food poisoning like you should be followed like don't follow us but

A good rule of thumb generally, though, is the smell and the visual test. Yeah. And for the most part, if you follow that, like, of course, because think of even your fridge temperature. If you put something in the freezer, it's going to last way longer. If you put something in the fridge, you could have a variety, different fridges at different...

different coldness so or which part of your fridge and there's those weird like buttons it's like like what does this drawer even mean like we have to pull out doors and they say things and I'm just like

I guess the vegetables are going in there, but is that good for them? You know, when you go to like rich people's houses and they have those huge fridges and you open and there's like all these different compartments. I'm like, this can't be necessary. You know what I mean? I'm like, we're just trying to keep the garbage right now. I have no idea. And it's like, this is probably, there's no way this little shelf has like.

completely different error than the other one like maybe it does but i can't see why that also 70 sorry 76 of americans say they throw away less food than average isn't that funny well also the majority of people think they're smarter average which both those things are just physically impossible okay but hun i am i'm kidding that might be interesting and that might be a tear down for others but like i am um anyways i just i this i remember this

kind of changed my life when i read it i now really when i like i try to not waste food and i only really tried to throw things out of there's like black and mold and like you know putting something that doesn't smells yeah if something doesn't look like say you have a vegetable or something in a bag and it says like

This happens a lot with me for carrots. It's past the expiry date, but it's a hearty carrot. You know what I mean? I look at it and I'm like, it's fine. And at worst, it's just dry. Yeah, yeah. Put it in a salad, cover it in mayonnaise. Mayonnaise is... your friend just really i think at the end of the day it is truly maybe best before but not bad after yeah oh put it on a t-shirt do we have merch

We don't. I'm best before my coffee, but I'm bad boy after. Okay, that was not, okay. We should get back to learning things. Study time. Study time. Study time. Study time. Hey, DJ Mausner, how are you?

So cute. I'm so happy to be here. It's so funny to say hi to someone when you've just had like an actual introduction. Like we were just talking off the pod together and then we're like, nice to see you. Like, isn't that so funny? It's fun to put on airs, you know, to do our little skits. It's for everyone.

listening but it's still the metric covid introduction like you are a screen and just in case people are wondering no yeah i'm sitting in between you two and i'm just sort of have my tongue pressed to each of you as i'm talking to you Yeah, exactly. We're editing out the la la la. Side note, podcast is a super spreader event. Okay. So wait, you and Greg know each other through the comedy scene, right? Yes. So here's the thing. It's like I feel...

like I met you and I was like, oh my God, Greg is so funny. And then I was like, follow that? Oh my God, what the fuck? Just like seeing all the followers and like ASAP science. And I was like, cause I'm a fucking dumb, dumb idiot. I know nothing about science. I'm stupid. I'm stupid.

I'm inherently stupid. And all through school, I was like, science, who is she? I'll never meet her, you know? So that's why I didn't know about any of the actual important shit you do. All I knew was that we... are stupid idiots that sometimes run into each other in the comedy scene yeah it's true dj is so funny such an incredible comedian who i like love to watch and just like respect so much and i'm in awe of you all the time but one thing it's funny when you're saying like don't

no science, but you do this thing. And I recently watched it, which made you want to come on the podcast where you were the ghost of Rosalind Franklin and you've done the ghost of Marie Curie. And it is so funny. And like, to be honest, like I really want in the future for you to come on to the side note podcast.

as the ghost of ross and flanken but we thought we would just like start like i think it might be a lot for our audience to be like wait what is happening to be like full improv mode but it's going to happen but you had to learn science for that you talk all about rosalind franklin watson and kirk evil watson and kirk

Yes. Oh, my God. Watson and Crick couldn't get a big stick over the head is what I always say. I've never said that. I've never said that. Not even once. I've never said that. Yes, I love to do that. That's part of denatured lexagram.

like satirical science um blog and yeah she's had me on a couple shows it's so much fun see it's not that like I always found that I love learning but I was very bad at like sitting still in the classroom so I feel like I missed out on stuff unless I had like really good teachers who were like trying to be

accessible so I love doing the Marie Curie and Rosalind Franklin because I will research it you know for multiple days to be like I know who I'm playing I'm not doing like some fucking Daniel Day Lewis shit where I'm like coming in like as them not to like imply I'm like doing something important you're fully like what do you call when people are like in character I'm floating around my house yeah but you do it as a doll you get a doll as a Rosalind

Franklin. I just sort of throw this around. She's from England, right? That's where she grew up. Yeah. I love coal. Yeah, she loves coal. That was like a really big part of it. I love the porosity of coal.

yeah just doing just being a fucking idiot basically just combining my two things that I like to do reading and acting like a total dumbass in public is really really fun for those characters and yes of course I totally I would love to do that on a future pod I totally get why you're like we're sort of um doing like a soft intro but we could do an episode on rosalind franklin yeah bring the information and just and just like mirror it to you people will learn perfect writing it down the journal

licking my quail or writing in my notebook. Wow. You're just like Rosalind Franklin too. Yeah. Okay. So. We ask people to give us ideas for the podcast. And DJ, you came in with some high intellectual ones. And we said, nope, nope, nope. And your last one was crushes. And we said, yep, that's the one. Yes. I have a friend who did a degree.

in math and we were talking about the um i'm gonna get this wrong the millennium theorems those math equations that if you solve them whatever it's good job you get a million dollars or something my eyes are cross-eyed yeah he is so smart his name is kevin

absolutely hilarious also a comedian and we were talking about that and then we got into this whole conversation of like is time real like what is the past is the past real like all those things that you know people who know about science have been thinking about for forever it's just new to me because I'm like I'm seeing this for the first time

I'm like, this is amazing. And so I'm sending you those, I'm like, time reel, numbers reel, me reel, and then I was like, and a crush, and you were like, crushes!

math is so not and like time like isn't real like we could go there but it's existential dread as someone who is afraid of dying and everything you know ending and becoming a gray malaise let's go to crushes yeah crushes yeah very different ends of the spectrum we'll save that for when we're when we have a vaccine and we're back to partying and then we can talk about time yeah we'll be in the club talking about how past present and future all

We are all already dead. Woo! So curious or curious. This is me sneaky sneaking up to you. Curious about the crushes. You got a crush? What prompted? You got a crush?

OK, so I love talking about crushes. I feel like this seed was planted by our wonderful friend Celeste Yim. They love talking about crushes. They are so like they I think they did like a. faux powerpointy type thing on crushes at union hall or whatever oh my god we've talked about them so i was like okay crushes feel like it feels like such a rich topic i don't have like a big crush right now if i'm being honest and that sucks

Because it's so fun to have a huge crush and to be like, I want to die. It's so fun. I have all these mini crushes. And some of them, I'm like, do I just really admire this person? It's hard. when you're gay or when you date every I date people of all genders because I'm just like do I want to kiss you or do I want to be you know it's like that weird okay so let's get like I can already start talking about my study like interesting things because like crushes

Like, the way that I was reading, this is called The Ethnopharmacology of Love. So it's all about how... Whoa. I know, big word. Do you want to talk about time? The Ethnopharmacology of Love. Scrabble kingpin. My study's like, and dopamine is really good. Well, okay, we have a video called The Science of Love, and we do say in it, and it's like something everyone loves to say, which is that your brain when you're infatuated or have a crush or are in love is similar to being on cocaine.

Oh, my God. Well, yes. I make horrible decisions during both. Yes, exactly. And it's like the threshold of your neurons is lowered. So it's like you actually feel happier. Like in general, it's like being on cocaine all the time. It's actually probably a healthier version of cocaine. There's less of a down. Yes. Live, laugh, snort, babe.

But it is like there's two types of crushes. There's sort of like a sexual attraction, which is like the evolutionary like drive to want to have sex with someone. And then there's the other type of crush, which is more about trying like the pro-social trying to.

raise a child with that person and that's more of like the love angle so like I know you're saying like do I want to be them but it is there are sort of two types of crushes like when you lust for like a dumbass you know what I mean where you're just like I want to like get like you just like flood the gates for this like hot man then they

open their mouth you're like i would still have sex with you but like shut up but then there's the other where it's like wait why do i like you know maybe that i want to be you there's like there's two separate sort of types of crushes yes

Oh, my God. I love that. Yeah. I feel like I lean more towards the social one, like in general, because I like talk to my friends. I have some friends who are like super sexually active and they're like, I'm going to fuck or I'm going to die. Oh, wait. Sorry. Can I swear? Is that okay? Yeah, go over it. Okay. Okay.

in tune to what they're meant to do here on the planet exactly like I'm like I feel like I've only had that feeling and you know then it becomes the whole like oh am I like aromantic gray set you know like all those kinds of like uh sexualities which like i feel some those labels can be very helpful to some people for me i that starts getting me more confused or more frustrated totally cool for other people will totally respect that for other people but for me not really my vibe um

And I'm like, oh, why do I not? But I've had it like four or five times. And usually with the sexual crushes, it's always like. seeing a good set of hands. Really? Oh, I love a good set of hands. It's hands. Sorry, is that sexual crush or is that social crush? Is that sexual crush? Yeah, it's social crush. I'm like, gorgeous hands. Want to make a baby with those intellectual hands. Give me that. Pat my child with them, Hans. Rock my baby.

That's interesting. Do you find like as a hand? I find hands so attractive. So I really want to get into like our celebrity crush. But like I have really fallen out of a celebrity crush with Shawn Mendes because he's he's it's like he is very much like the sexual.

aspect like he's just like six foot tall like everything you should want but like truly I'm like there's a screw loose like you keep well I mean he's just singing about like gray trains or something it's like so boring but his hands are like huge and like I whenever they like I'm like oh I'm over Shawn Mendes and then they'll cut to his hand like on a piano and it'll go from like 27 keys across and I'll be like holy moly we're back posing to your screen you're like yes you're like please yes yes

so hands are a thing for me yeah for sure yes I don't know what it is I've never I think I'm maybe insecure because I kind of have small hands so I'm like hands don't matter but you have beautiful hands because you're a piano player playing piano doesn't make your hands beautiful in my head you're working them out You're like you've jacked bicep hands. Yeah, you're like getting jacked in your fingertips, I love. But also, for me, it's not about size of hands. It's just like...

There's some hands that are objectively sexy. So don't look. I'm not going to shame those hands. OK, fair. OK, if it's more about the way like the aesthetic less like the size, then OK, I can get on the hand train because I definitely feel that way about.

feet like feet would have okay no like i i don't get particularly turned on my feet but it's more like that's a barrier like someone can't have bad feet for me yes i've had friends who are like uh teeth are really important to me and for me like i don't know if it's

just like so like i mean i am i don't know if you could tell by the sound of my voice but i am fat i don't really have a fat voice um but that i i've always been fat and i love my fatness being fat fucking rules yeah um except for society

constantly trying to kill you and make you feel horrible. Other than that, it's so amazing. It's so amazing. Just those kind of small little things where society is like, I'm going to kill you, and if you're not dead, I'm going to at least make you feel like you wish you could. But then, other than that, it's amazing.

to say like I feel like I grew up just being like okay this is my body and I'm constantly told my body is like yucky yucky you know thank you by like every piece of media but so for me when I'm like looking at someone I'm not like

I don't know if it's an experience of growing up fat or whatever, but it's like this thing where I'm not like, okay, you need to be jacked. You need to be this tall. But if other people have that, whatever, as long as they're not like, they need to be white or something psyched.

go in racist like that i'm like okay except for when people are like you need to be this amount of pounds i'm like yeah someone's personality is gonna be amazing if they're 110 babe you know that's the golden ratio i always think that if someone's jacked it's a red flag it's like being

Australian it's like you have to prove to me that you're okay no but it's serious it's true it's like I meet an Australian I'm like you have to earn my respect because no historically things aren't going well for you

Yes, it's the exact same way that I'm like, you have to prove to me that like you, because there's a thing about like feeling your body. And if you like love the way you feel when you work out, you should do that all the time. You should always like you listen to your body, feel amazing, all those things. But if you come in and you're like. Fucking like...

like fucking like ripped sleeves and you're like, you know, guitar sliding in with like a 20 pack. I'm going to be like, are you a misogynist or not? Yeah. But yes, that's why I feel like my, Like my sexual crush thing is like, I feel like most people's sexual crush is exactly what you're talking about where you're like, oh, that person is so fucking hot. I won't have sex with them even if they're so stupid and they hate them.

I feel like mine is like, sometimes I'll be like, that person's fine. Wow. You know, it's not always hands, but it's like, it's like something happens and I'm like, yes, please. But otherwise it's the more social crush thing. And I think it's because like, I'm just like, I'm just like, let's make a family, you know? Like I feel like it's just like, I mean, again, you cannot see my face. Maybe you'll look at my Instagram later being like, who's this person who hates people?

with abs um but i look like a babysitter like i have like a round face and like dimples and i like look either like the gerber baby or the babysitter that takes care of the gerber baby but you're so hot and you're so freaking cool so pro social like

I don't know. I feel like a lot of people are going to want to have babies with you. Okay. Yeah, slide it to the DMs. Not if you're like into babies because... Their hands are too small. Yeah, their hands are way too small. Yeah, that's my issue with people being attracted to babies. Ew, your baby's gross. gross those hands. Ew! He'll grow into them, hopefully. Well, okay, I was just gonna say, like, so part of the research I'd done, it kind of rides off the back of that, that they're, like...

Obviously love and crushes are so complex, but there was some research done at Rutgers University and they broke it down to three different. categories and each of these categories was associated with like specific hormones that go into your brain so lust is specifically related to testosterone and estrogen which are both in both like men and women non-conforming everything like both those hormones trigger off when you're feeling lust. In terms of attraction,

It's dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin. And then attachment, which is obviously not really related to crushes, is oxytocin and vasopressin. So they have been able to kind of segment and say, when we see someone's brain, when they're lusting versus when they're attracted to someone. And obviously those...

Things can be intertwined at the same time, but not necessarily. There's like distinct hormone pathways, which I thought was cool. Okay, I have a question to relate to this. So, you know, we're going through puberty, puberty, puberty. We're looking down, we're like hairs. So we're getting, you know, the testosterone, the estrogen through our body.

who was the first or what was the first thing that you like lusted after once these hormones started taking over your neurons and brain? Because I think I know yours from feet. Oh my God, man. No, but this is more like a gay awakening. And it's like, I'm not even attracted to him anymore. And he's a cartoon and it's Gaston's foot.

You know the toe out of the song? Like when he's singing like, he puts his foot up in his little... big toes sticking in I remember like literally as a six year old yeah and I didn't quite understand but like I've always had that moment as like sexual roughly the size of a barge and a hairy chest his aesthetic

and he was not attractive but his body. Listen, no one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston. I know. That was really hard as a gay little boy. You're too young and you're just like, holy fuck. It was just scene after scene of little boner, little boner. Just like, I'm gay. Like, please, I need some time to process this. Yes. So that's for me.

Oh, my God. That's amazing. Okay. First, that's such a good question because I feel like I've been asked what my first crush is, but I've never been asked what my first lust is. And I feel like literally, okay, there's three that are tied. Does that... count, that are technically six. So all of the parents, the parents in Spy Kids, Antonio Banderas and Carla Guadagino, the parents in The Mummy, Brendan Fraser and Rachel Wise. Oh, that's so hot.

And again, in Mask of Zorro, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Antonio Binders. Oh my god, those are so good. You would lust after like both and be like, okay, that's who I want to be with. And it makes me feel weird because it's not like I'm trying to like fuck my parents, you know?

It's more just like these were like hot, like horny adults. In all of those movies, there's like a sexy scene. Even Spy Kids, they're like, you know, Carla Guadagino's like, you're not going to go on this mission without me, are you? They're just like hubba hubba. But I'm like.

you know like I'm like watching this as a kid like drooling me like no go without her you know like so into it so it was like that for me where I was like who are these sex people I guess Antonio Banderas is like right at the center yeah I was gonna say Antonio Banderas is happening in a lot of times

I love how you're probably like one day want to live out your fantasy of like sword cutting off some woman's clothes. Like that scene is wild. And that is very sexy. And as a kid, it was like, are we going to say a tip? Like what's happening here? your hair was shorter oh yeah it falls that's such an iconic scene yes yes so that was that my first just like regular degular crush was of course every young person's crush was

Disney's Hercules cartoon version. Oh, my God. Filatini is voiced by Danny DeVito. No. Epitome of sexy. I have a real. Yes. A really good photo of Hercules animated online just like bottoming with his big old butt up. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'll send it to you. It's really hot. Yeah, please do. And I tweeted it as me. praying to God whenever I panic and hope in case there's a heaven. Just in case. I know science and physics and time doesn't exist, but just in case.

My first list was honestly the tickle bitties on Pamela Anderson.

Like I, Pam Landerson was for sure my beard. Cause I, I mean, I think, but I genuinely had a lust for her. Like I genuinely like watching Baywatch and like running. I was just like, here we go like it was like okay ignore gaston greg you can you can get through this like i it is hypnotic no matter your sexuality yeah and i think so sexual and like baywatch was just like it was so sexual and there's also something about like a full red bathing

suit on a woman that is so hot and like yeah it was like practical like she was strong and like going to save a life like it was responsible and i remember really leaning into that as like as a flaming kid being like like whenever there was a dinner party I love Pamela Anderson. And like just like trying so hard to like convince parents. That's so weird. I feel like I never...

This is when I'm like, sometimes I'm like, am I more gay than you? Because you've been with women. Well, tis a spectrum. No, fair. Yeah, yeah. But it just shocks me when I'm like, oh, you, yeah. I feel like Pam Anderson was also like the model for what was taught to like young cis dudes of like, this is what sexy lady is. Big blonde hair, massive teeth.

fucking enormous jugs, you know? And running. And you're just like, that's sexy. Yes, yes, yes. That's just like, what you... consumed you're just like uh-huh yeah and then if you like had a crush I feel like I talked about this on a podcast once with like Mark Little or something if you had a crush on like someone with brown hair you were like I'm different yeah yeah the quirky life like for little white kids I'm a little bit quirky yeah

exactly exactly so um okay so now okay we're actually going to talk about some funny things so in 700 BC they thought that they called crushes like lovesickness and they thought so in this in this study they go

The whole way it's called a meta analysis. So they go through a bunch of studies and they like synthesize them. They even use AI to search out words and then they like figure out the results of all these studies and then they give you like a big chunk of information. So they were going through his story.

texts and they found that in 700 BC they thought lovesickness or a crush would enter like a disease through the eyes so like you would like avoid eye contact to not get a crush because it was actually considered a disease and, and it's only recently like within science that they took a crush and quote unquote loves, lovesickness out of being a actual disease because there is arguments from some.

psychologists that when you get a like big enough infatuation or a crush there's a name for it it's called loom loom oh god it was something here but it's like it's when you become so obsessed that it can actually lead to like jealousy and like stalking and like hurting of yourself and hurting of others. And like, they've decided that they don't think like, obviously don't think that it's a disease. And in 129 AD, which is like, I guess like 800.

years after they thought it was through eyes they were like no it's a buildup of black bile blood and semen within you that if that causes you to have crushes that's what a crush is to me what have you guys been talking about you're like that's what we're talking about right We're talking about semen in the eyes. Yes. That's all time we have been. And then that is crazy. Yeah. The last thing I'll say is like, because it is, can be.

kind of debilitating for some people there have been arguments that with like therapy like after three years if people have such an infatuation or a crush that they can't get over that they're like there is an argument that you would be prescribed ssri serotonin inhibitors because serotonin is a big part of a crush to actually help work people out of obsessive crushes wow i know what i think i believe that because it's also like i would like put under the

uh heading of lovesickness like you know there are people who okay i don't know if this is actually real so maybe i'm just saying this i'm like i'm acting like i have such authority i literally know nothing no worries well a study i read yeah just make it up um that you know when

older couples who have been together for forever when one of them passes away the other will pass away within like a month of you know heartbreak or love sickness kind of that it's like yeah these the the psychosomatic or psychological effects on your body like that are so real

And I'm like, yes. I mean, and coupled with semen in the eye, that's a recipe for that. Seriously. Yeah, I can believe that the actual, there's actual impacts of like love sickness and having your heart broken and stuff. It's called, sorry, it's called limerence. Limerence.

obsessive romantic attraction to another person that includes obsessive thoughts, fantasies, and desire to form a relation that are damaging to your lifestyle. So I can buy into that, but I'm just like, what are the things like, how were people so stupid?

What? Back in the day. Yeah, in the day. Are there things that in... When was this? That was 700 BC. Remember the plague? Oh, that is a long time ago. The plague? It's like, it was a freaking flea, people. But they thought it was a... demon but that one makes more sense when it actually was like a disease and they were like dying oh you mean just like being so infatuated yeah and being like it must be the semen running the veins you know what I mean

IV of semen on a fainting couch. There must be things that in like 2000 more years, people are going to look at us and be like, they were so dumb. If you didn't know like about your vast deference and how you're.

testicles worked and you were shooting out gooby white things you'd be like oh it's the disease it's the like pus it's the demon obviously people were shooting out gooby white things like to have babies since the dawn of humanity yeah and then their parents were like that's the demon in you you know what i mean i don't know i just like yes a wet ass pussy was in fact a sign of satan

No whaps allowed. No, totally. I love what you said about like avoiding eye contact to avoid it. That's like the original Debbie Ryan like bangs. I'm protecting myself. Yeah, I'm shy. You don't have to look away. Because I guess it's like a natural human or again, I'm just making really broad assumptions here, but like a natural human reaction to when you're like nervous or anxious or whatever to look away. Yeah. And it's like, oh, then to attribute that to like, oh, well, it's.

like god in your soul trying to keep you from avoiding the demon or whatever i guess that's true yeah it's like finding excuses after you know there's a behavior and then humans are like oh we have to be able to explain that Yes, and I will say I wish that I had avoided eye contact for some of my crushes so, you know, to not let the demon in. You're like, they were right. Yeah, they were fucking right.

So, okay, we went through some lustful crushes. Do you guys have, like, what was your early or an early memory of, like, a true crush that was more than just lust, like, you just loved this person or wanted to be them? Like, reading about some of these...

um you know norepinephrine dopamine like increased heart rate and like even when we got to limerence and stalking like i had such like i'm like i really hope this person doesn't listen to this but i had but like people who like went to my high school know who this

is because he was hot um and he was like edgy like he like listened to indie music but was like also a jock um but his name was max and his last name was george's but i called him max gorgeous you don't have to say his full name well no it's not what i imagine listening to a podcast where all someone said

was that you had a crush on them. It's like, seriously, enjoy this. I hope that happens to all of us. Exactly. That would be my honest dream. I would listen to it every morning and then start my day.

but I had such a big crush on him and I remember like he liked like good music and I liked good music and I just remember I was like made a cd for him and i remember my heart like sweating like my heart beating like just being like oh my god like because it was like weird like like he wasn't he's not gay like i was just like and he was obviously like this guy's cool and fun but i'm just like oh my god i'm in love with this person

And I remember I like would walk with my friend. I would be like, why don't we just go down this street and like walk in front of his house. And one day, like I like he like came outside and I think I gave him the CD. Like it was so great. Like it was like it was like Sarah. I was like, oh my God, there's a CD in my bag. It was just like crazy. And then he made me a CD while I was at camp and mailed me the CD at camp. And like that.

is when i i'm like no i was listening he's like everything has changed no i think he was like a good person at that point i think i i think i'd come out and i think he was being like nice because i think people were like People like had to, I was like the only gay kid in my high school. And when I came up, people had to choose size. I think he was trying to be like, I'm on the right side of history, but.

When I got that CD, oh, the physiological response. Like I felt like I felt like I was going to barf. Like all of these norepinephrine, dopamine, like things were firing and I'd lost control of my body. I was like, oh my God.

like pissed my pants and it was like emo music too like every song I'd be like is this about me you know what I mean yeah and like I that was such a like huge crush and then now it's like gone and he's like i don't know and not to drag him like i don't know what he's doing but it's like it's not there it's not there anymore sorry max but very like reading powerful yeah the like physiological response of what like while reading what

the description wise, I was just like, that to me really stood out. I was like, such a profound crush. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Your brain's like, ever stalk anyone? Well, no, I maybe have my first one that I know.

is like a character yet again. And it is... Another toe. Yeah, another toe that popped out. No, it's Billy Elliot who plays Jamie Bell. Like truly... i had i still have a crush on him because of that role i but i also like you said like i wanted to be him i remember in that movie he wears like little like um

What do you call just like a leotard? Like not when he's dancing. What's the not inappropriate version of those shirts that are white and white tank top? Why couldn't I do that? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I didn't want to say the bad way. Anyway, he would have like a yellow one and I like made my mom go buy me some of those and I would like put them on and honestly feel like him. And I just was like obsessed with him and his character. Were you able to be like, I'm obsessed with Jamie Bell?

Or was it like, I'm obsessed with Billy Elliot, and you were old enough to be like... I was old enough, but I didn't really think about it. I think I was just so infatuated with the idea and the aesthetic and everything about him as a character, but as an actor as well. But like... The internet wasn't as accessible, so I didn't know much about him as the actor. I mostly knew the movie. Billy Elliot is so good. Yeah.

And it's like such a nice story where like his straight best friend is like, or no, sorry, he's a straight best friend and he's like such a good straight man. He's a Max Gorgeous to his friend. Yeah, exactly. I remember watching that movie as a kid and being like, okay. And then at the end when he's like the fully grown belly, I'm like, I remember being like, it's like going from like five miles per hour to like suddenly 200. I was like, thrown off the back of the jet.

and he's like holy shit I know it is such a it happened so abruptly because like your dad is the same actor and like the brother is the same actor and suddenly it's just like this man yeah and they give them like a little bit of like grey powder in their hair like it's not that obvious that we've aged

20 years. I did not like seeing him as a man. I think cut that out. Really? Because it made me feel like, because again, you have all these like, for me, like interesting, like, oh, he's such a little boy. And then all of a sudden it's like, yeah, all of a sudden he's like girthy and you're like, yeah. Yes, I totally feel that. My first crush or my like weird crush response is my first grade teacher, Ms. Mahutsky. She was like.

I was like, like she like she had a very strong face and like short brown hair. She always wore a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey to class. Oh, my God. I don't think I knew that I like, I only, it's like when I looked back and I was like, oh, okay. Because I was like, you know, always wanted to be like, Ms. Aski, do you like need help at recess? You know, like try to like be, you know, like there. Yeah, exactly.

And then I remember once like her husband came to the classroom and I remember being like. Who the fuck is this guy? Like, for no reason. Like, literally no reason. Six years old, I'm like, sorry, you're not allowed in the class. You're not a teacher. You report him. Are you a parent? Strange man. Strange man on campus. there is a stranger yeah pulling the fire alarm get away from her oh my gosh do you think that looking back

And thinking just about teachers in general, do you think that maybe she might like, do you think teachers ever know if students kind of have little crushes? Oh, not like sexual crushes, but those kind of like, I have, I was a teacher and I had like little kids who, yeah. Cause it's not, yeah, there's certain ages.

But that's not fair to say that it's a crush, but they're like, yeah, they're acting like that. Yeah, it's that thing where, you know, there's some kids, I feel like I've always been like, I love authority figures and I'm going to be the very best student you've ever had. You know, it's like that student council energy. Yeah.

And I went to school for teaching pre-K through grade six for a couple of years before I switched into other stuff in university. And I worked in classrooms with kids. And there's some kids who just are like, do you? Watch TV. You know, they just like want to ask you questions and like talk to you and be around you. And they just are like, I'm forming this bond with you and I just think you're nice and cool. You know, that kind of thing. It's so sweet. It's also always so.

harmless and innocuous, you know, these like, just like little cuties being like, um, um. you were a pink yesterday and so here's a pink card for you you know like yeah and it maybe is like a like a form of like a quote-unquote crush but you're right it's like when you're an adult and you look at it it's like adorable it is innocuous and it is like yes they might

grow up and be like i love dj but they are really just giving you a little heart they don't know oh yeah yeah exactly no okay i want to talk about this other thing which is wild but like for married couples and because we understand that oxytocin

oxytocin as a hormone is involved a lot with crushes and especially with like long-term relationships and definitely like less of the lusty ones and more of the actual like let's make baby ones there's nasal spray of oxytocin called oxylove or oxytocin nasal spray and

They give it to couples and then put them in MRI machines and study their brains and find that... Okay, also, all these studies are so heteronormative. We always talk about this on ASAP science, but it's like you can never... They are never going to like... So in this case, they were studying...

men's brains shooting them with nasal spray of oxytocin and then making them look at photos of their wives who they've been together with for longer than five years. And they would have an increased activity in their brain that was like related to attraction. Yeah. Yeah. So like these things are all controlled by our brains. But I also was like, that is an interesting thing that like could become popular slash maybe some people use. That feels like a full on drug.

Right? Yeah. I want to feel in love with you today because you're pissing me off. Snort, snort. Yeah. But I mean, that's like what we do. It's a medicine. It's literally like pumping you with hormones. Like, isn't that, you know what I mean? And there must be like significant impact of that.

if you were to do that very often. Okay, but we're about to go eat edibles on our Friday night dinner, and that sometimes makes us a little bit nipple-perky horny. There's things that, I don't know, it's interesting. We pass judgment on some things. I'm not judging it.

just like thinking of even like when people take like steroids and stuff and obviously when you do these things in like large amounts even weed yeah don't you only are in love with your spouse you're snorting people get addicted to like pornography and stuff because you start to like

build these associations with like the best highs and if you can't get there then but obviously that's interesting it was more about i'm trying to learn about the pathway of oxytocin and crushes and in long term sort of like monogamous like love but i love i love the people running these studies are like

giving them these things and being like, look at a picture of your wife and get a boner. Or the ones where they were judging the lust versus whatever. It's just these guys being like, okay, into the MRI machine and you're coming out with a fucking huge boner.

They're just like so fun to run these studies. I know. And they're like in an fMRI machine. They're just like laying down in this weird. Truly so claustrophobic. And actually when you're in an fMRI machine. Don't you feel sexy? Your crotch is what's out. Ha ha ha!

Their boners are out. Oh, my God. They're like, can you tell if anything's happening? Nothing's showing up on the skin. It's just like looking to see. Oh, no, it's super hard. It's working. It's working. Yeah. It's like her gown is soaked all the way through. Yeah, it's working. Oh, my God.

It is so weird to think about these things, but it is cool that they actually study them. I know. I think about sort of like neuroscientists and neurophysiologists and just being like, oh, you know, it's the mental tegmental area that turns on when you're like...

a crush and I'm like it could be so I'm I know so many of these people aren't annoying there's like very intelligent people but like being you know what I mean like to have everything broken down by like the portion of your brain that's active could become so like be like oh this beautiful forest view they'd be like oh well it's actually just you know

Yeah, it's you recognizing the color green and understanding evolution. Yeah, literally. Yeah, no, I love that it's like, here's all the science behind this crush. And I'm like, I want to fuck Philatides from Hercules. Is the result? Like, it's like...

would you guys ever like go in a study like that like would you ever let them shove that up your nose and a do you think people know yeah do you get told what's even going up your nose you probably don't yeah you probably don't that's true and there's definitely

would you do it I probably would only to just like I feel like you know in the same way that like I love horoscopes I love when people just sort of like tell me about myself they're like this is what's all going on up there you know I love that horoscopes is like the equivalent of like that's science to me that's science to me as far as I just like imagine I'm just coming hard I'm like actually that is a science

debate it with you for the rest of the podcast um but yeah it's one of those things where it's like you know it's the same fucking shit with like Myers-Briggs test or whatever that you're like I want to know what my little special thing is you know what celebrity I'm like it makes you think about it more it makes you I think

i would definitely do it and sometimes i wonder like where are these people recruiting because like recruit me i'd be yeah i've never been recruited i've never like you know what i mean how do you find out about these things i think we should probably know that i know i feel like we should know that it's crazy that i sometimes see those like ads on the subway i don't know if they still are because the subway has been canceling it but um right they would be like they would be like

you would go they would pay you money to go smoke weed and do it like a driving simulation there was like around when like we i remember being like i would love to do that yeah like that sounds fun like smoke weed and play mario kart like damn I'm already doing that. Yeah, I know.

I had some friends at university who were like really broke who would find studies through like the university portal. Yes, they do that. Those ones. Yeah. Being like, you're looking at a screen, but you're drawing with a thing down there and it's like seeing your cognitive ability. I also had a friend who was like, I'm really broke. I'm going to Quebec.

and taking a bunch of drugs for $3,000. And I'm like, okay, maybe never see you again. Have fun. He's alive. He is alive. Okay, okay. Well, that's happening now. That's a big thing. Psychedelic studies. Oh my gosh, yes, it's true. Lots of people on trials, like tens of thousands of people.

right now in these trials so yeah that's true and we need them yeah we're on this other side being like would I let someone put a love hormone in my nose there's people like literally getting COVID injected into their eyes

yes oh my god okay um do you have more because i also want to ask well i'm trying to figure out if mine like the stuff other stuff i wrote was kind of related to addiction and obviously yeah people really truly go through withdrawal and how it is

like I don't know we've kind of kind of touched on everything that I yeah like romantic love shows psychological behavior and biochemical characteristics to addiction which is which is in that sort of like world of like that used to think it was a disease they've decided it's not a disease but it can because again yeah it's

It can create mood swings, craving, obsession. Oh, and obsessive compulsive disorder. Oh, that's literally more the same. That was the one last thing I was going to say is that it's linked to serotonin, reduction in serotonin when you're attracted to somebody. And it says like... obsessive compulsive disorder.

people who have that also have low serotonin. So they think that when you're falling in love or have a crush, like you're kind of obsessive, which I can relate to that obsessive part. It's like wild and it is overpowering and it is. Oh, totally. Like probably as a teen.

Yeah, the most intense feelings I think I've like... ever had oh my god yeah you're like red like your first ever crush you're like ready to romeo and juliet you're like it's time for us both to die together like it's bananas how intense together like on my first ever um high school or like my high school boyfriend who i had like my first relationship with we met at this like religious thing okay just like uh

My dad's Jewish. My mom's Catholic. I'm not very religious now. But it was that phase in high school where I was just like, I love God and Jesus is my husband. Oh, for sure. I'd be like, I lost my shoes. I'd pray to find my shoes. I'd find my shoes. I'd be like, okay, we believe. Yeah, I'd be like, okay, God is here. God is with us. God's in the room.

Yes, of course. And we met at this like thing called the Salesian Leadership Retreat, which is basically like going and playing a bunch of like improv group games. And then at night they're like, OK, now everybody confess the worst things that ever happened to you. We love you and you're OK. It's like this very supposed to be like loving environment. But then they're like, you know why you feel good?

because of God and we're all like yes God helped us but in reality it's like just having a conversation but it's fine it's totally fine and people who love God totally spirituality is important I'm not shitting on that I'm talking about my own experience anyways that we met there where we're like,

sharing these like hard things and then immediately after started dating and we're like obsessed with each other we're like we are going to get married and if we die first that's fine because we'll be together you know like that like insane like

I think we dated for, like, nine months. Oh, wow. It wasn't even, like, a year, though. It wasn't even, like, that long. But that's a long time, I think, for high school. When you're little, yeah. Yeah, we were, like, I think 16 or 15 years old. Yeah, that's, like, a long time. I think that's a long time, actually. Yeah, and we're still, like...

touch on instagram or whatever now hi mike you're so nice you're so good guy um very nice person i think i don't really know what he's up to these days but he was very sweet at the time um but then you know I remember directly after when we broke up, it was like these months of like tumultuous feelings where you're like, that's the end. I experienced love and I let it go. And now.

A spinster at 17. This belief that you're like, it's never going to be. And then, you know, it's also this surge of hormones. And then as you get older and you have more relationships, you're like, oh, it's fine. Actually, everything's fine. But yeah, that for those.

first loves in the midst of like puberty and stuff it's like it's wild yeah I have such distinct memories of that and just like being like bawling my eyes out to friends and also I was in the closet and I was in love with this guy and so I couldn't actually like

I don't know how no one knew I was gay because I'd be like, I can't. He got grounded for the summer. I was like literally in so much turmoil. But you guys don't understand. I'm so close to him, like to my parents, my friends. And then that's why when I came out, I was like, why was anyone surprised? You're all done.

You're all the people in 800 BC. Were you not paying attention? Yeah, exactly. I know. He just has a demon. Yeah, exactly. They were like, oh, get the semen out of his eye. It's just the bile. We're just going to cut open your liver. Yeah.

Cry it out. Okay. So the last cross question I had was. I don't know if this is something that like we can really do with maybe a question just for myself, but I find that I cycle through my number ones, like in pop culture, like my number one attractive, like person I'm attracted to right now. Like it used to be Jake Gyllenhaal. Like now it's not.

Do you guys have number ones now? Or is this just me wanting to say that? Like, yes. In terms of crush attraction. Yeah. Or it's like, you know what I mean? Like, cause it kind of like, you know, there's new, there's new people come up in the scene. There's new people in pop culture and you're just kind of like, what's that? Oh, totally. Mine are Oscar Isaac.

Okay, wait. Bar none, Oscar Isaac, who, like, Inside Llewellyn Davis, Star Wars, whatever. X-Machina? Yes! Okay, and Star Wars. So hot in X-Machina. And then Chris from Christine and the Queens. Oh my god. Bye-bye.

Oh, my God. Christine in the Queens. She's so cool. Oh, my God. I have such a good one. Because I think that's, yeah, like my queerness, I go towards people who identify as men. But I think Christine from Christine in the Queens is so hot. And I have a lesbian friend who I always text with. And I'm like, this.

is the hottest person ever and it's like no yeah they are genderqueer like yes so basically like like truly not that I know Harry Styles in her life but it's like the truly gay Harry Styles it's kind of like because they're like amazing at singing they like are so funny they're like an amazing dancer they're so stylish that that like you know

taking clothes from every gender and not really giving a fuck. Um, the confidence. And then also, yeah, the confidence. Okay. Speaking French. Yes, please. Like all those things. I'm just like, Oh, and like doing interpretive dance and it having it actually being pulled. Yeah, I'm like, I hate interpretive dance. Like, I hate it. I think it's the cringiest thing ever.

whenever they do it i'm like holy fuck flood my gates it's nuts they're amazing and then yeah oscar isaac is just that like that classic like um like gorgeous deep set like calm emotional eyes but then like looks like very strong and like

capable, I don't know, you know what I mean? Just like that classic, he's old Hollywood handsome kind of deal. Yeah, and seems really like like grounded and intelligent and like chill and sensitive yeah yeah that those are such good ones you got those so fast good job good job on this test you passed i feel like i'm not that mine is bad bunny i'm like oh yeah

Oh, yes. Oh, my God. I've been obsessed like with... him for probably a year and a half with his music but then now he's just like playing with like you know gender like dressing up as a woman just like wearing like everything about him I'm just like okay you need to like stop like I'm so attracted to him he's like so he has that magnetic sexy charisma like there's some people who you meet and you're just like oh you're like sexy like there's something just like

crazy sexy about you, whatever. He's one of those people for sure. I'm going to Google. I bet he's a Scorpio. There's like a thread between Christine and the Queens and Bad Bunny as like pop culture. like iconography that is like they're sexy in similar ways like they're a little bit mysterious so confident and they do those like out of the box things that are really hard to pull off that like what you were saying earlier where it's like is it a crush or do i want to be you

It's like, like that's kind of both of them. It's like, like I would love to be able to pull off any of the things that you're doing, but I don't think that I could. You're so hot. Rockstar. that like star power yeah that they just like blast and they don't have like dumb Canadian or American accents that are yeah I know they're sexy because they are yeah exactly sounds shit alright

I honestly can't think of one. I'm so bad at recalling and I'm not that tuned into like modern pop culture. It's like still Jamie Bell. Like actually, you would probably know if you could name other people, like who else would it be? It's honestly Jamie Bell.

always like if I see like a paparazzi photo of Jamie Bell I send it to you oh there's like that guy from Survivor oh no he's not like a crush he's just so sexy oh my god yeah and he has an OnlyFans oh who just a guy who was on a season of Survivor who now has an OnlyFans and so my

friend is always sending me photos from that only fans and it's like actually insane but it's not like he has an interesting personality necessarily yeah he's lust he's testosterone and estrogen yeah and his name's literally like michael oh i think it is Yeah.

Dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles, man. There you go. He said it. Yes. He rides motorcycles. Does he? Yeah. He was talking about him specifically. So somebody else goes on the own appearance. Well, he dated Nikita Dragon, the influencer. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I feel like those people are like.

you know it's like a Chris Evans where you're like you're objectively hot like everyone can all be like you're hot and you're nice really yeah Greg doesn't like it what about Chris Hemsworth Chris Hemsworth can oh my god right and center rip my balls off chris hemsworth i find so hot and i and i i subscribe i'm a 50 year old really i subscribed to his instagram i that that uh it's not

It doesn't connect for me. That's so weird. I don't know why I have such strong feelings that Chris Evans is not attractive. But it's also like they're both Chrises, right? Yeah, it's such a Chris. Blonde, ripped, blue-eyed Chrises. And you're just like... Same, same, but very different. No, what it is, Chris Hemsworth once took a photo and posted of him lying, it's like ass in the air, bottoming, the most incredible bottoming position I've ever seen. This is a gay porn scene.

type of athletic where it's like you clearly are like actually like agile and could like climb like your ass has biceps yes and like where and like the back dimples and whatever yeah i feel like chris evans you could like tap him on the shoulder and he'd fall over like he's not actually agile I think I could beat up Chris Evans. Yeah, you're like, not only do I not want to fuck Chris Evans, I want to kill him. You're like, he's actually my enemy.

This has been so fun. Thank you so much. To chat crushes and a bit of science. So DJ, I want people to go and find you on Instagram because you're so funny. You're doing all these amazing sketches. So what is your Instagram.

My handle on both Instagram and Twitter is at DJ Mausner, D-J-M-A-U-S-N-E-R. On Twitter, my name is DJ Mausner slash 1-800-Fight-Me. So if you see that, that is me. That is me. That is such a... Yeah, I feel like... in the zoom hellscape i have not been doing many live shows but yeah i'm i'm i'm still managing to be stupid and record it and put it up on my social pages so okay your recent sketch about like the guy who's a stoner or who likes what what was the like tag

Your friend who just got into weed. Yes. It's so good. It's so funny. Thank you. Go check those out. Thank you so much. Will you come back on the pod as Mary Curry? Yes, 100%. I would. I know what we're going to do. We're going to do Rosalind Franklin and Marie Curie and we're going to teach the history of them and like halfway through we're going to be like we're going to put a sound effect that's like and you're going to like turn into the other one. Yes!

I love it. Two bad bitches sharing a podcast. That's going to be the name of it. Thank you so much. Thank you everyone for listening. Feel free to hashtag side out podcast. Otherwise we'll see you next week. Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

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