The One About Drag Queens We Would Smash

My name is Bob the Drag Queen and I'm Money Exchange and this is Sibling Rivalry On this week's episode of Vape Gets Lost in My Bed, we discuss what geography makes the best shoe. And we find out what made Bob say this. Why would you send me that video? And we find out what made Monet say this.

I'm going to capitalize this pussy. Tell me about this hat. What about it? It's from a company called Lack of Color. Lack of Color? Yeah. They're an Australian company who makes really cool hats. Is this the same Australian company you've been going on about for years now? I mean, I don't know if I've been going on. Every time you ask about the hat, I say it's a company called Like a Color. I don't know that I'm going on about them.

I'm just saying, I've just been hearing... Okay, going on. Is this the same Australian company you've been getting hats from for a long time? Yeah. Work. Why are you asking about my hat? Because it's... You're wearing a big hat, and of course I'm going to ask about it. It's a statement piece. It is. And I made a statement asking a question.

I made the statement. Actually, it doesn't make any sense. I made a statement asking questions that doesn't make any sense whatsoever. This is my constant life with you. You not making sense. And me trying to... Yeah, I don't make sense because I make dollars. I make dollars, mama. I don't make sense. We get it. Money, the capitalist queen. We know. Yes. We know. I'm going to capitalize this pussy. We know.

We know. We see how you sell your soul to Paramount Plus and lie about your opinions on the pit stop. We know. I sure do. Because of what? Because they are lining my pockets. And y'all, to quote E. Kane, y'all broke-ass bitches? Y'all don't know how to do that shit. That's why I do it. But she's giving me all the real tea right now. Y'all think why she can. I'm not kicking. I am not kicking. I'm dead ass. But honey, when I do the pit stop, I give them the realness. They still bring me back.

I'm dead ass. Yeah, and you get paid crumbs. Again, you get paid cents. I get paid dollars. I got paid 25% per episode, famously. Yeah. So?

Everyone knows that. It is what it is. I was cutting on ChapStick on TikTok the other day, and they gave me a warning for using tobacco. They thought I was vaping. How do you know? How do you know what the war? How do you know what the screen? Yeah, I mean, I get in trouble all the time on TikTok. I don't know if I'm alive. But when you go through and ask why, it'll tell you like the general gist of the.

of the warning, but they thought this was a vape. Because they know you. Because they probably watch a podcast. I do get caught vaping on TikTok accidentally quite often, and I do get warnings. And I was like, I wasn't even vaping this time. I had to cuss Andy's ass out the fuck this morning. Okay. About that vaping shit.

I would love to hear the actual conversation and then juxtapose with you saying I had to cuss Andy's ass out this morning. So Andy woke up at like 5 o'clock in the morning to do his early gym thing.

And he fell asleep with, I felt, I was watching TV downstairs. I came into bed late and he fell asleep with his fucking Kindle and his vape on the bed somewhere. When I go to bed, I removed the Kindle before I saw that. I didn't see the vape. So when he woke up at five o'clock, I wanted to go to the gym.

He's all in the bed. Then he proceeds to take his phone, put the flashlight on, and is, I said, Andy, are you kidding me? And he was like, have you seen my vape? I was like, no, I'm not seeing your vape. So then now he puts the flashlight off and pretending to want to cuddle me, but is really just searching under my pillow. I was like, Andy, if you don't get out of the bed and you have to leave the bed right now, leave the bed. This is ridiculous. It's five o'clock in the morning.

And then he left. Which, he had a backup vape the whole time. So I'm like, why are you even doing this? You have a backup vape. Use your backup vape. He left without the vape? What? He left without the vape? Yes! I would have pulled the mattress out from underneath you. I wish you would have. And first of all, first of all, you go in the room and you do...

Jacob, wake up. So you, nigga, you can even search for your vape because Jacob will fucking get your ass together. First of all, Jacob would be like, baby, here's your vape. Jacob, this same scenario. Bob has left his babe in the bed and is now rustling through the bed looking for you while you're sleeping. What do you do? I mean...

I would be annoyed, but I also just don't think that's a situation where he would just leave a vape in the bed like that. No, this is what has happened. You're not thinking, Bob, this is what has happened. He has left the vape in the bed. Now he's rustling through the bed looking for at five o'clock in the morning while you were asleep. Yeah, I mean, I would be annoyed by that. If that was a thing that he did, that would be annoying.

Thank you. But Jacob would help me look for my vape because Jacob... Okay, don't speak for Jacob. Jacob, are you not waking up and helping Bob look for the vape? No. Jacob already has vape in his hand. Thank you. Jacob actually has... Category closed. Jacob has the backup vape. Jacob goes, well, I already have this vape here. Actually, that's something Jacob would be like, well, I already have...

Actually, this is what probably would happen. If I did it one time, he'd be annoyed. But the second time, he'd be like, here's a backup vape. That's actually something Jacob would probably do. Well, Category, this is the first time. This is the first time that's ever happened to us too. Category closed. Jacob said no.

First of all, Jacob wakes up, does a little morning yoga. And then helps me look for the vape. And then goes, I love you so much. Thank you for being in my life. Jacob, shut that all the way down, honey. And then I head over to my thing. And then I say, and then he would cook me like a whole, he cooked me this whole giant breakfast like every morning, like pancakes, sausage, egg, makes me a smoothie.

And then he turns on the news for me. I watch the news. He brings it to me on the couch with this little tray that we put the food on. Brings me the morning paper. I click through it. And then he brings my slippers. You know, I see Bob, Bob be trying to give you all that fake ass bullshit. Jacob, Jacob be here at the room. Jacob said, no. Jacob, is that not what we do every morning, Jacob? That is what we do every morning. You're right. Sure.

But then we rotate. Then I do it for Jacob. But we have a house of equity. So then every other week we swap off. So then Jacob, I cook his breakfast. Jacob prefers oatmeal, though. Oatmeal.

Turkey baking. You don't even know how to cook. I learned to cook for Jacob. I actually have cooked for Jacob a lot of times. I actually was on a chicken wing cake for a while when we first met. I was baking a lot of chicken wings. Do you remember that, Jacob? I love air fried chicken wings. And I would bake me and Jacob chicken wings and I would make overnight oats for us. I don't like a cold... Oh my God, ew. I don't like a cold oatmeal. Jacob, what was that, Jacob?

The Kulicles were gross. But I didn't make them for you, though. I don't think you made them for me. I think you made them for yourself and I was there and I was there. Jacob, you were, I had you in mind the whole time. Oh my God. Y'all, y'all see, this is crazy. Bob is trying to gaslight, Bob is gaslighting Jacob into this bullshit. You too can't tell him it was in my mind.

I'm so sorry, Jacob. Jacob, is this what you deal with all the time? I mean, this is what we both deal with. Jacob, yes. And what do you deal with? A crackhead?

The same cracker you are. The same cracker that you want to get in band on TikTok because you can't keep the vape down for more than five seconds. In the band. Y'all vaping people, y'all really are. That is a new crack. Where was I? I was... I was somewhere recently, and I'm saying this person, y'all, and it was one of the, y'all, it was one of those annoying vapors. You know, the ones where the vape be this big. And he was like, and he let out. It was a fucking cloud. And they sizzle.

I was like what? Yes. I was like, what is going on? This is crazy. Okay, full disclosure, I had one of those in Europe because it was hard to get babes in Europe. Baby, those things are too high maintenance. You have to take the thing out, put oil in the thing. It's too much. It's too much.

It's crazy. I'm trying to minimize my carbon footprint. Because each one of those, we got to find out the numbers on those. Because you can't return them and you have to buy a brand new one every time, right? Yes. Oh, my God. Y'all are destroying the planet. You got it. Vapors are destroying the planet. We've already had this conversation before where most of the pollution on the planet is actually coming from major corporations.

People, individuals, households contribute such a small amount of pollution to the world, but yet they got us thinking it's us. They got us thinking we're the ones doing it, which is insane. I think the moral of the story is we all can help.

Of course we all can help. But these massive corporations, these industrial plants, they're the ones who actually can really, really help. Yeah, they may be industrial plants, but nigga, you're an industry plant. Y'all don't know this. Bob is the original industry plant. I am. Industry, baby.

How many Grammys does Lil Nas X have? None. Two. Oh, yeah, Old Town Road. I forgot Old Town Road. Are they both for Old Town Road? I'm not sure. But he also holds the world record, I believe, for the longest Old Town Road. No, it was broken recently. Was it recently? I think so. I'm pretty sure. I feel like I saw that.

Jacob, can you Google who has the longest-running billboard number one? I think it's Rotation by Money Exchange. I think that broke it last year. That could be it. That could be it for sure. Do you want to guess who broke it? And it's recent, yeah? Yes. Is it a man or a woman? It is a man. With The Weeknd? No. Nope. Would I know this person? Absolutely. Kendrick Lamar.

Yes. Not like us. Not like us. Wow. Oh, yes, that's correct. Word. That makes sense. It was a massive hit. Absolutely. I think that song won five Grammys. Yeah, one song winning five Grammys is wild. That is wild and incredibly impressive. Yeah, that is really cool. What's your Grammy you want to win? What Grammy do you want to win? What Grammy I want to win? You have to take your sights and make them specific. Either for a comedy album or I would love for best R&B album.

You have to set your goals to get one. What are you going to set your goals for? I want to be one of those people sitting at the Grammy thing, holding... You see these pictures? Maybe they're with...

I don't think any of those people's ever had a bunch of those and had comedy mixed in with it, though. I mean, why can't I be the first? That's my goal. What are you setting your sights on, though? I feel like usually when people are holding all those Grammys, it's from one project. It's like, this is... It's like a collective project. Does the project have comedy and R&B on the same album? No, this is my goal. The same year, I win my best comedy.

Album Grammy, I'm going to win Best Album. I do music and comedy simultaneously. I think I can win one. I don't think that focusing on one thing would probably heighten your chances, but I've never won a Grammy, so what do I know? To you, I want to be like, I want that to be part of my story. This is crazy. We've never seen someone win the same year best R&B and best comedy. That would be fucking, that would be fierce.

It would be fierce. Again, I'm going to reiterate. In my opinion, to help you get toward your Grammy, it might help to laser focus on one thing so you can really zone on one thing. It's really hard to probably promote a comedy album and an R&B album simultaneously at the same time.

But I do think that you would heighten your chances if you just zoned in on one particular thing. But, you know, again, I have never won a Grammy. Yeah, not for me. I want to do both. You think that's the best method toward getting it? I mean, we'll see. You know what? Two things are happening. Either it'll happen or it won't. That is true. I don't really have any sights on Grammys. I would like one, but I don't have my sights set on a Grammy, though.

But, I mean, if you had to do a category, which one would you think you would do? It would probably be for narrating my book, which I put a lot of thought and effort into, or it would be for a comedy album. But if I had to focus on one, it would be a comedy album for sure. Correct.

Yeah. When is your next special? My next special is being filmed in New Orleans in April. And it is actually my first time ever setting foot in New Orleans. Am I invited? Yeah, you're more than welcome to come. I'll see a ticket link to buy a ticket. I have never once in my life been to New Orleans, which is kind of crazy to me.

I've been twice. I went for the Essence Festival. It's a nice city. And something else. I don't know what the other thing was. Worked the world all Christmas. One of the tours went there one time out there. I have performed in Shreveport, and I performed in Ruston.

But I have never performed in New Orleans. I haven't even been to New Orleans. That is so wild of me. New Orleans, baby. I want to go to Baton Rouge. I just like the way it sounds. Where is Baton Rouge in relation to New Orleans? I have no clue.

I don't even know what New Orleans is. I'm not completely sure what Louisiana is shaped like. I'm pretty sure it looks kind of a little bit similar to Mississippi, but skinnier. I think it's just like a skinnier version of Mississippi. I'm almost positive. Let me look up. Louisiana. Louisiana. Louisiana. Louisiana. It looks like a boot. You see... What is a boot? Louisiana is a combat boot, whereas Italy is a cunty boot. Italy is a very cunty boot.

Italy gives the girlies the business, honey. New Orleans is like down there. It's like almost at the bottom of the state. Yeah, I'm gonna... I don't know. Where's Baton Rouge at? Well, everyone knows it's at the bottom of the state.

Nigga, everyone is not me. I didn't know that. That's how it was affected by the hurricane so badly. Because it's by the water. Yeah, but there's also the Mississippi. I don't know if it was the Mississippi. I don't know what water. Hurricanes don't go up rivers. But I'm saying by the thing because...

Like, for example, like when the East River caused a lot of flooding when we had Hurricane Sandy in New York. It wasn't the Atlantic. Yeah, but the East River is right by the ocean. Again, I don't know the makeup of this place. I don't know if the Mississippi was like... Anyway, I didn't know where it was, nigga. New Orleans is probably near the Mississippi River, but the hurricane was not traveling down the Mississippi River. The hurricane traveled through the Gulf of Mexico.

It's actually the Gulf of Burton. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. When I look at it in Google Maps, it does say Gulf of America now. Yeah. It does. But you know what? We're going to. What? Say your piece. No, I mean, I don't want to talk about, I don't want to talk about, I've been talking about listening to politics all day. I don't want to talk about politics. Honestly, Google some real fucking bitches for that shit.

Well, did... Apple also changed it on Apple Maps as well. Say it again? What happened? Apple also changed it on Apple Maps as well. They bitches too. I'm going to save my whole chest. They had some real bitches for that. Oh, Pigeon Ford, Tennessee. Let's go there. Isn't that where Eureka's from? No, she's from Johnson City, Tennessee. Yeah, Lady Bunny's from Chattanooga, Tennessee. Oh, my God. I see Johnson City towards the north of the state. Yeah. Is it a small, small town she's from?

I am, I've never been, but I imagine, I mean, I'm going to go ahead and guess the population is probably 8,000 people. That's just so random. Let's see. That's my guess. Y'all, we do this population thing about. Bob is obsessed with population. He might be like 15 or 30, but I'm going to guess 8,000. Not even close, bitch. What's the population? 75,000. 75,000 people. Good for them.

What's the population of... My God. No, we need to move on. We need to do something else. No, I want to ask Monet population after this break. Monet is going to give a population. We're going to take a break first.

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And we're back. What is the population of Las Vegas, Nevada? Because I don't know it. You are such a sick person. What is it? If you had to guess. I'm going to say 800,000 people. That's actually not far off. It is 641. people. I was going to say 600, but I was like, no. In Las Vegas, Nevada, all in the desert, sitting in the middle of the desert. In the middle of the desert. If there was...

one celebrity that you really wanted to fuck. If there was one person you were like, I don't care what I was doing. Wiz Khalifa. For sure. And in this fucking... Is Wiz Khalifa... I'm slapping him off. Oh, sucking his dick. Okay. So you don't want him... You don't want him to bottom for you? No. You're just content with just a dick suck? Mm-hmm. Work. How about you? Who's your one celebrity? Um...

I don't know. Let me think. One celebrity, if I had... This is going to end up being our viral clip, by the way. We're going to end up on straight TikTok. I don't know who mine is, though. Who have I said I love? I feel like my friends would be no one better than me. DeJuan and I did this the other night. I could remember a name who it was. I was like, oh, yeah.

I mean, I don't know. I mean, okay, the realty is this. If I had the option to hook up with. Oh, I know who. Go ahead. Jesse Williams. Jesse Williams? Oh, yes. Jesse Williams from Grey's Anatomy. He did that show on Broadway when everyone saw his dick. If I, I would give pretty much anything. To fuck Jesse Williams. Would you wake up in the morning and help Andy look for his weight? Yes. Andy can take his flashlight and put it... In your eye? Girl. Don't do that.

Justin Williams is, yeah. If I actually had the option between hooking up with Daryl Stevens and Wiz Khalifa, I would probably pick Daryl Stevens. Because that's a long run. That's like, that has been going on for a really, really long time. For me, Jesse Williams. I think Jesse Williams is one of the hottest people ever in the world. Okay, I said one. I know, but now I'm thinking about people that I've longed after for a long time. And now I'm switching to Daryl Stevens.

It's been so long. You know what I mean? Yeah, it definitely is for me, for sure. Now... They're always talking about the trade of the season. Who's the trade of the season, honey? Who's the trade of the season? We're going to find out who it is today. You and me. Yeah. But I will say this.

Bob and I are doing our smash list for draggers. We have a top 10 list. Bob wanted to do one per season. I think it's just top 10 overall. Because there's something that makes it more valid and fair. But you know what? Do your things, 21. I will say this. My smash list is not indicative of the trade of the season, though. Is it for you? It might be multiple for one season for you. Huh?

Because you might have multiple in the same season. Not even, but I would say Mike Smash is not necessarily the traitors of the season. You know what I mean? Like, the traitors of the season is, like, the hottest one of the season. I don't think it's always the hottest one of the season, but it's just who I would smash.

Okay. And just to be clear, guys, we know that trade is used. We know what trade means. Can we just all clear it up? I love saying that. I can't say clear it up anymore. I don't even have the ability to say. It's not even a word I can even say at this point. Being a troll is such a foundational...

thing for you. You pride trolling someone above what is right and wrong and correct in the world. You're not wrong. I literally cannot say clear it up. I always say clear it up. Even when you're not around. Clear it up, honey. Clear it up. Stop. What? Doing that. Why can't I eat my food? It's so irritating. What?

Why does that irritate you? Explain what it is for the people who are listening. Renee is pouring a low sodium tahine into her hand and licking it out of the palm of her fucking hand. Why are you mad at that? I'm going to show you how you look. Can you also describe it for our audio of listeners? What I said, so I'm just, you know, I got to say if there was anyone that I was going to do.

Anyone who was going to. That's how you look to me. It's the smacking. It is the licking the palm of your hand. And then going back to life as usual. Because you're still grabbing and touching stuff and licking the palm of your hand. It's the pouring. It's every part of it. And it's the fact that like one every three times you go on a tangent about how great Tahin is. I literally know that twice.

One in three times you do this, you're like, and by the way, here's my commercial for low-sodium tahine. Like you're fucking Jamie Lee Curtis with Activity or something. Did you know Jamie Lee Curtis is a nepple baby? Is she? Yes, her parents were famous Hollywood people. You know the woman who got killed in the shower in Psycho? That's her mom? That's her mom. Oh. I was like, I had no idea. I was like, oh, wow, I had no idea.

Shout out to Jamie Lee Curtis. Okay, arts matches. I'm going from most recent to oldest. Like, in terms of seasons. Okay. I'm going backwards. Do your own, to be fair. No, we should go one for one. But I didn't work on my list last night. That's why I was going to go season by season because I was doing my casting. Okay, well, y'all, try doing something as I'm talking to this.

Y'all, this is some Bob the Drag Queen ass shit. We had homework when we finished recording yesterday. I'm going to say other things going on in our lives. Yeah, I had other things going on too, Bob, but I made time for the homework and prepared what we're going to do for the podcast. That's available. So Jacob was like, we're going to do an episode about casting and one about our smash list. I did my casting. Okay, 50% is not... Nigga, you're failing. I never used to do homework, though.

I never did my homework. Ever. Like, ever. That's a failing grade. 50% is a failing grade. I only failed one class in high school. Which was what? Algebra 1. See, we didn't have... Because I went to an art school... I had to go back as a senior and take Algebra 1 with the sophomores. Yeah, because...

As I said before, y'all, my high school experience was all fucked up. We were art school. We didn't do PE. We didn't have, we did humanities, which was a mixture of social studies and English together. My school experience, which I was a little bit, it was a little janky. But honestly, I'm happy I did it the way it was. I'm a very smart person and my life has turned out great. So you know what? It worked out well for me.

I said, who are you trying to convince? Do you know that? You tell me if you think this is appropriate. In 10th grade, this is when the revival of Rent was on Broadway, and they took us to go see Rent. in 10th grade. Doesn't that feel inappropriate for 10th graders? No, not for 10th graders, no. It's a pretty sexually charged show. You're in 10th grade. I don't think it's inappropriate, no. I think it's a little inappropriate. If my kid...

Also, what's the sexual charge in Rent? Like, what's the sexual charge in Rent? La Vie Boheme. Like, what's specifically about Rent is so sexually charged? They show titties in La Vie Boheme. On stage? Yes, on stage. I never saw it in theaters. Yes. You never saw it in theaters? Oh, my God. No, I was living in Atlanta, Georgia. Yeah, come fly to New York and come see the show. I had never been to New York before.

Not everyone can afford to just go to New York City on a whim. Says you. Not everyone is also a netball baby like you. I'm not an Apple baby. All our moms don't own cell phone towers. Also, you have these kids. What was it? Your mom owns a cell phone. On a recent episode of the podcast.

I was like, something, something, something. I was like, Brokey. And Bob and I were laughing. Someone commented, you know, I got to be honest. Morning calling people Brokey's on the podcast feels really inappropriate. And does anyone else feel? I was like, Bob really has y'all out here. thinking that I'm some rich. You are rich. You are rich. Bob, I shared a bedroom. My grandmother and I shared a bedroom when I moved to New York.

We're talking about your life in St. Lucian. You know that. I also want to point out, just as a reminder, y'all, Monet's family owns the home. Okay. In New York City. Okay. Owned the home. Yeah. Monet's family added a wing to their house. A wing is a generous word. How many of y'all, in the comments, how many of y'all who, Monet, did you grow up comfortable? Comfortable? Yeah.

Yeah. There you have it. Everyone knows what it means when you grow up comfortable. Jacob, did you grow up comfortable, Jacob? I mean, yes. There you have it. What does that mean? Anyone who didn't grow up... Taylor! Did you grow up comfortable? No. Yeah, that's what it is. Jealous lying. I went to Austin. I seen Taylor's family house. Taylor grew up the fuck comfortable. He a liar. Jacob Taylor said you've never been to Taylor's family's house. Yes, I did.

Tell us that when. For ACL, two years ago, nigga. For ACL. You did not come to ACL. But I saw pictures and videos. Money lies. You don't have to defend yourself. Money lies. We know money lies. Money went from going to the house to seeing pictures and videos. So we already know that money will start with a lie. So you don't have to, don't waste your time on, you don't waste your time on this.

Anyway, continue, Monet. Go ahead. Don't do that. Wait, do you have your list together yet? Pretty much, yeah. Okay. We can go one more. Okay.

I'm starting at season 17 and working my way back, okay? First for me, Corey King, Smash. Corey King is on my list too. Yeah, she's a big lady. Corey King, clearly. I mean, we've never seen Corey shirtless and stuff, but she clearly has a nice body. Lydia said she has nice arms. I think Corey would be a smash. I think Corey, yeah.

Corey is also on my list. And I just want you to know that Lydia is also on the list. I would watch Lydia and Corey. Oh, wait. So is Lydia occupying her place in the top 10? She's in there. They're a package deal. Corey is really the one, but... You know when you buy a device and you get it upgraded? Uh-huh. And you're happy to have the upgrade? Uh-huh. Lydia and Corey are part of the package deal. They're on the list together.

But she does have a spot, though. Okay. Next for me. Would you watch Lydia and Corey? Also, is this completely inappropriate? Yes. Would you watch Lydia and Corey? No, I would not watch Lydia. You wouldn't watch? I mean, I guess I would. But also, I want to say this. I'm saying the smash list. I would, like...

Okay, there's like a few things. I've said this very much. Once you're in like friend for me, and I count a lot of these girls as friends, I would never actually have sex, but they are hot. If that makes sense. You know what I mean? I'm going to be clear. I don't know Lydia or Corey.

You know Corey? I don't know Corey, but I feel like I know Corey. Corey, your friend? She's not my friend, but I just would not. Corey's still fair game. No, but at this point, no, it's not fair game. I do find Corey very attractive. So you're not, so which is it? Is it friends, not friends, just people you've heard of? How does this work? I want to listen to you out loud. These drag race girls are not my sisters.

I know, Bob. You've told us time and time again. Are they your sisters? Not all of them, no. Some of them are, though. Yes, some of the Drag Race girls are my sisters. Drag Race girls are not my sisters. I don't even know half these hoes. I never met most of them. These are not my sisters. I do have sisters in the drag race world, and some of them are on this list as well.

I have some sisters on this list for sure. Sister, be a sister. Let's take a break and we'll talk more about who we're going to fuck for Drag Race. All right. Also, y'all, it's killing me, Bob. Bob, they do the homework. We talk about it, Bob. It's like, what if kids, the teacher talking in class? Bob was like, mm-hmm. Okay, next on my list, I have Kerry Colby. Kerry Colby is so hot. Smash. But you're not bi. But, okay, I would...

These are, this is someone who would make me want to be bi or pan. Okay. Carrie has that power? I think Carrie is insanely hot. Word. Gang, gang. Okay. You don't think so? Carrie is hot. She's not on my smash list, but Carrie is very, very hot, though. I feel completely undeniable. Right? Yeah. Can I just hear any other women who are on your smash list? No, I want to go to an order. In general, not just drag race. For example, for me, Doja Cat is on the smash list.

Oh, yeah, Doja Cat is on my smash. Yeah, Doja Cat is very sexy. Okay, so there's a lot of women I would like to make out with, right? Smash, Monet. Smash list. Not hold heads and skip through a few days and drink tea with. Smash list. You're the one who, when I mentioned, I said, we don't have to do it. You were like, you double down. No, we're going to do it. So don't bitch out now. Okay, Megan DeSalian. Okay, work, making me sound. MASH. Also, making me sound. Girl, I feel like I would be...

From what I've seen on the twerking and just... I would be so... It's intimidating. It's very intimidating. Intimidating, for sure. Very intimidating. I mean, after I met Megan, she is... I do not let people beckon me to them. When Megan did this... I came over. I said, yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. How can I help you? Yeah, Megan is a smash. Okay, Bora Maiori.

Really? It's on my list. Oramayori. I remember seeing Oramayori in Tennessee and being like, oh, that's a hot guy. And then Oramayori was on Drag Race. And I was like, still hot. Still hot. Work. Same season, right? No. Same season of what? Kerry Colby. No. Nora Mayuri was on Tasha Colby's season? 15, yeah. Is that correct, Jacob? That is right. That is right. Yeah, that's correct. What was her promo look?

Now I want to look it up. Hold on. This is literally the one about every real girl again. All over again. I know. Or my. I'm looking it up too. I want to see. This bitch. Back to this bitch, I had so much to say. I remember the promo look. Yeah, she had, it's like obviously a biker look. They were all wearing some form of a biker-ish or racing car look. It's like this giant coat. Yeah, it's cute. I like this look. Or it's got some great looks. She would've worked.

Good for her, good for her, good for her. Next on my list, this is because I met this queen. Before I met her, it was not a smash meeting her. I've said that she exudes, she's very sexy. Like she has a lot of sexy energy and that is Utica. Utica. Utica. She's tall. And she's like... When did you get into skinny, guys? Used to be... Used to be...

Very anti-skinny. But she's tall, though. She's tall. How tall is she? I don't know. She gives 6'3", 6'4", energy. Yes, very that. Somewhere around there. Was she flirting with you? I don't know if she was. Challenge accepted. Like, what was she saying to you? Was she like... Like, we're both at the... Want to read the Bible together? We went to go and watch Jinx in. What show was Jinx in? And she was like, hey, like, like she was. And normally I don't like a close talker.

I did not mind her talking to me close. She's like, hey, how are you doing? Oh, you look really good. Yeah. And I was like, oh, you're making a lot of clothes for girls now. I was like, yeah, if you want to make something, just come to Chicago. Let me know. We can work it out.

Is she a toucher? Yeah, she's like touching me like right here. You know what I mean? You're talking and the hand is like right here. And I was like... Like while facing you or while next to you? Facing me. Facing you, grabbing you by the back of your arm.

Yeah. Like, is she, like, pulling you in or just, like, letting you keep your distance? Just, like, letting me keep my distance, but, like, just, like, not caressing, but, like, just a ginger. Like, you know when, like, move the thumb a little bit, maybe? Yeah. How was she dressed? She had on a button-up shirt. Try pants. Yeah. Wish that you look good. Was it like, oh, you look good. Or is it like, you look good. In the middle.

Because I think I've been on my health journey, so I think she was, a lot of people have been making comments around that. How does it, so when someone goes, oh my God, you look good. What energy do you get from that? I go like, oh, you fat bitch, you finally lost weight. Good for you.

And someone goes, you look good. What do you get from that? Like, wow, I can't believe this fat bitch lost that weight. So it's always an insult. Honestly, I vibe with that. I vibe with that. I vibe with that. Real shit. Type shit. Type shit.

Okay, your third one. Type shit is in my head. Naomi Smalls is on the list. Naomi Smalls is a match for everyone, though. Yeah, Naomi Smalls is definitely on the list. I don't think anyone is shocked by this. It is obviously very clear to everyone that Naomi Smalls is... easily and obviously going to be on the list. Has Naomi ever flirted with you? No. Have you ever flirted with Naomi? No. I'm just asking. Has Naomi ever flirted with you?

No, we've never flirted. And I've never flirted with her before either. But I do remember one time we were backstage. I've said this story before, but to the new people, you'll get to hear it. We're sitting backstage and we're going to go on and do the bitch perfect. And Naomi's wearing these like Daisy Duke. like tiny little jean shorts. And we're just standing back there. And then Chi-Chi Devane just looks at her and goes, dang, girl, you got some good butt.

She's like, what? She's like, you got some good butt. I bet it's good. And then... And then she was like, oh, no, man, I'm such a top. And then later on, we were talking on the phone. She was like, I don't know why I said that. That is not true. I love Chi-Chi was so quotable. My God, I miss Chi-Chi. Okay, next on my list. Was she on your list as well? We'll get there. Maybe she is. Maybe she is. I don't know. Next on my list was, this is a weird one for me. I don't know why. Pheromone.

So you have several women on your list. Yeah. But it would have to be Paramount. Like now. Like. I haven't seen her in a minute. I'm assuming she still is like Christina Aguilera. Yeah, yes, that pheromone, for sure. Yeah, I mean...

Is there another pheromone? I mean, she always looks the same to me. To be fair, I have not seen pheromone. Did she go dark on social media? Again? I know she did at one point. I don't know. Have you ever met pheromone? Girl, I did a whole season of Drag Race. I did a tour with her. Do you remember that little skip she did? What was her verse? Love. It's crazy, right? It's love. That's skip. Yo, that's when I tell you that skip sent me to the moon to the.

Moon. It plays like a loop in my head. Yeah, Pharamone, we'll be on tour and Pharamone would like stay in drag. like, and go out and, like, just be dragged. It'll have to be in-drag pheromone. I don't know if that's shady, but I don't want out of drag pheromone. I want in-drag pheromone. I think she's very hot. Okay, I have Evie Oddly. Evelyn Oddly. Okay.

Yeah. Well, you do like a little... You know, Evie likes a little... She likes a muskier finish to her scent, which I think you enjoy. I also really love a vegan-looking, lanky... I don't know if Evie has a bunch of tattoos, but a bunch of tattoos. She has not a bunch. She has like a few. A bunch of tattoos would really, like really kick it over the edge. I mean, she's already over the edge, but that would really kick it over the edge for me.

I think Evie Adley is also really funny and really charming, insanely talented. And you know what Evie is? Super duper real. Evie is real. Evie is real, real. Like she is. R-E-A-L real. R-E-E-L real. R-I-E-L real. R-E. All right. Sorry for having fun. Have you ever flirted with Evie before? No. Maybe we do like a little flirting on All Stars 7 actually. But like just like fun, not anything like actually flirt, like fun flirting. So you think flirting is fun?

I do think flirting will be fun. Oh, my God. Especially when you're, like, you know, really single out here. I enjoy the flirting. Were you single when you were in All Stars? No. Oh, yeah, I was single in All Stars, actually. I was. Next for me was Naomi Smalls. Naomi Smalls is always on the list. Naomi Smalls has you on everyone's list. For sure. I think Naomi Smalls is on her own list.

Right? Totally. She has to be. She has beautiful, beautiful long legs, a cute little butt. I have long legs. Jesus. She has a beautiful smile. She has such a friendly personality. Naomi Smalls is just great. Someone should scoop Naomi Smalls up and wife her. If she wants to. Yes, obviously. Up next, I have Tatiana. Tatiana, really? Yes, Tatiana for sure. Okay. Tatiana is very, very handsome. Tatiana is... Probably more aggressive than the types I like normally.

I don't know if I ever met Tatiana, but that girl is, she is a, she is a special breed of woman. That's Tatiana. We did one gig together in Albany, Albany, New York. We did a gig together years ago for sending me here. Okay, next on my list is Curtis Don Milkinson, a.k.a. Miss Fame. Oh, my God, I forgot about Miss Fame. Miss Fame. You know, I made Miss Fame her first pass she ever had.

I know. She was in your apartment. You told us. Yeah. Bob's literally Bob's one claim to fame. That's my one claim to fame. Fame lives in like Sweden. Is it Sweden now? Yeah. Fame is, y'all, Fame is a really interesting person. Like, Fame is super, she's actually really funny. Like, I've seen her host before, and she's actually genuinely quite funny. I feel like she.

is more interested in being like the model-y because she's obviously very good at fashion and she's very interested in fashion. But y'all, Faye, let me just say, when was the last time Faye posted something online? She was, she did Fashion Week. She did some Fashion Week stuff recently. Miss Fame. Her last post was on March 2nd. This is filmed March 19th, so it was 17 days ago she posted something. Yeah.

Girl, why you put a date on it? They're going to be like, oh, they recorded this in March. Hate this podcast. Burn. I mean, if they're saying that they're not real siblings or cousins. They're definitely strangers. Yeah, definitely strangers. Definitely going to be a stranger. Stranger vibes for sure. Okay. Things have happened. Who's next for you? Okay. For me, I'm doing mine out of order. So I have to look. I just didn't. Oh, Lanasia Sparks.

Oh, yeah. Lanaysha, season six. She is someone who's vanished. Let me look. How does she look? Lanaysha has fully vanished. Gone. With the wind. That is a black-ass name. Lanaysha! Are you seeing her? She was season six, right? No. She was season six. She was Bianca's season. She's not on the list.

Well, then, bitch, just Google her name, bitch. I don't know what you want to tell you. How is she not on the cast list? She wasn't on season six. Maybe it wasn't six then. Five, she was five, five, five. Five. Why? Why? Why got to be a bitch? Why got to be so aggressive?

I don't know why you have to be that. You just are. You don't have, you actually don't have to. She's probably so tiny. She's probably going to be short, a little clean. She's not. Oh. Laney Sparks is pretty average height, I would say. I've only met Laney Sparks one time.

She didn't steal your crew as far as a match game, right? I forgot about that. It was bad. It was bad, bad. It was big bad, actually. Yeah, not for me, but I'm happy for you, though. Thank you for being happy for us, actually. Me and Lanaysha. Next on my list, I have Milk. Milk? Mm-hmm. You know Milk's real name is Dan Donegan. Yeah, it's like a fucking comparable character.

Dan Donaghan sounds like a bully on Rugrats. Like, and so I was once touring with Milk and Trixie, and Trixie's name sounds like a nerd on a TV show. Brian Furcus. I'm sorry, that shit is so funny. And Dan Donaghan would bully Brian Furcus. Like, like, like, Furcus would be like, Dan Donaghan, please. Give me your lunch money, Furcus. I love calling Trixie Fergus. Calling Trixie Fergus really sends me to the moon. Hey, Fergus. That's so mean, Bob. Do what? Her name is Fergus.

Does she like being called in her name out of drag? She never expressed to me that she didn't like it. And she has. I'm telling you, she doesn't like it. So please don't do it. I usually call her Trixie. Sometimes I say, hey, Fergus. But for the most part, I just say, hey, Trixie. Or Trix. I say, hey, Trix. I'm surprised Lana isn't on your list. My list isn't over. Oh. Okay, Isaac Milk, who do you say? Rebecca Glasscock. Oh, yeah, Rebecca Glasscock.

Rebecca Glasscock and I were friends in New York City for a while. Rebecca Glasscock has aged like a very, very fine wine. Rebecca Glasscock is to this day still stunning. Really? Javier. Shout out to Javier, honey. Screaming ahead, Javier. Shout out to Javier. You don't have any thoughts on Rebecca Glaskock? I think Rebecca Glaskock was hot. I didn't see a recent video. Did she have a social media presence?

I think her name, I think she's quit drags. I think her name might just be Javier online. Or maybe, you know, Javier online. No. No, I think her name online might be Javier. Oh. Her name is Javier, the underscore Javier underscore Rivera. The underscore. I can't. People with all the underscores really drive me wild. Jacob, click the first one and scroll to the second picture.

Look at that. Oh, yeah. Right? And that was three days ago. Okay, Rebecca. Or Javier. Oh. She's still supporting the girls. There she is. Still supporting the girl. It says, oh, Jacob said no. It says, yeehaw, just two cowboys doing gay shit, supporting my sister.

Oh, did y'all see the link? Did you watch what I sent to you and Jacob in the chat? Look at that video. In the chat right now? Mm-hmm. Let me look at it. Hold on. Wait, why did you send this? Why would you send me that video? I saw it, so you got to see it too. Why would you do that? I hated that, right? I hated it. It was horrible. I hated it. You all know.

The thumbnail is a picture of some lady, or I don't know if this person's gender identity, but a very femme-presenting person. And then you click on it. And when you click on it, it is a dog licking its boner. It's a huge boner. Why would you send me that? Because someone sent it to me, so I couldn't be the only one to see it. That's insane. You're going to prison. I know. Jacob, do you have any thoughts about that? The video you sent? It was gross. Oh, okay.

So you should have one more on your list. Oh, I have Carmen Carrera. Carmen Carrera. Let me tell you something. That video, if y'all have not seen it, Carmen Carrera doing the, what's that? You know what I'm talking about, the video of the last showgirl. Not the last showgirl, a showgirl. Not coming to me at all. It's a video that Carmen Carrera did with a very prominent videographer and is going to come to me as soon as I type this. I found it to be so beautiful and sexually...

illuminating to me. I loved it. Did he give you a Woody? No, not give me a Woody. But I found it to be so beautiful. Did it give you a buzz like that? Oh, with Steven Meizel? Steven Meizel, showgirl, Steven Meizel, Carmen Carrera. It's so beautiful. And so hot. Yeah, she looks amazing in this video. This was shortly after her win. Oh, sorry, sorry. Shortly after her transition around like a year or two after season three. I was like, was she continental?

You said her win. I was like, oh my God, was she continental? Was she Miss Continental? But it's just so cool. It's just her being a showgirl in New York with this group of men and she is in this thing. And in this thing, this glass of milk. It's just so hot. Is it the butt cheeks clapping that's giving you the fever? No, you'll see what it is.

Right now, she's walking through. You can see her. She's wearing pasties. No, she's not wearing pasties. Those are just her titties out. They're not pasties at all, actually. But she's wearing a shirt thing. So now she's like dancing on. She looks like J-Lo there. I know. She looks like J-Lo right there. She's wearing this Britney Spears-ian cat suit with stones all over it. Now they're throwing money at her, and she has a huge, giant, yellow feather. coat and she's like she's on

And she's in like some sort of like a birdcage type thing. And she just keeps switching outfits. It's the same group of men. They're all wearing tuxedos. And she just keeps like walking around, like tantalizing them while changing outfits. Now she's in like a bathing suit. And she's like.

like in their laps and stuff and bouncing around. She put her titties in one of their faces and starts drinking from his glass. And now she took a man's hand and put it directly on her crotch. The man is grabbing her crotch. And then she is like on this man's lap with her head over him. And I think now her butt is in the air. She's got her butt up and she's got her titties out.

And she's wearing, it's not a thong, but it's like really, really tiny underwear. And now they're spraying champagne. She's spraying champagne on them. They're spraying champagne on her. She has her tits out, but she does have pasties over her titties or at least appliques. And then the video ends.

So hot. That's a very attractive video. Right? Loved it. The last one on our list is Lana Jarre. Lana Jarre. Miss Lana Jarre. And I didn't do the order. It threw me out of order when you said, when you said Corey, because then I went to Corey and Lydia. Got it. Would Lydia make the list if Corey was on the list? I don't know. Is that shady to say? I don't know. She's not even on your list. I guess it's not shady. But as a package deal, I just want to say Corey and Lydia are a great package deal.

Of all the Drag Race couples, that's the one I would want to watch the most. What other couples are there? Sharon and Alaska. Do you want to watch that? No. You want to see Sharon Needles doing something? No, thank you. Vangie and Brooke. No. Vanjie and Mick. I mean, I guess. Okay. Vanjie is the pass around girl of the.

of the franchise. No, Vanjie's a smash. So who are you going to kick off your list and put Vanjie on? I think that's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Karma with nine for me. So Vanjie would be number 10. I've already said, oh, I did two at once. That's why I have 10. Yeah, Vanjie's my 10. I'll smash Vanjie for sure. How would you feel to find out that you were on someone's list? Oh my God, that's cute. Thank you. How many of you heard a list and you weren't on it?

I'm like, that's completely valid. I'm not, I wouldn't be about her by not being on someone's list. Okay, depending on who, okay, let's say Utica made a list. You're on the list. Would it progress to the next step? I mean, maybe, I don't know. Because Utica seems to be like the one that you're like, no, I would actually do this.

I think, yeah, Utica is the one I would actually, yes. I think that's pretty accurate. Utica is the only one I would actually want to hook up with. Do you want to shoot your shot real quick? No, I'm not interested. That's weird. The way you just flip-flopped was crazy. What do you mean the way I flip-flopped? I'm actually not interested. She's an ugly, ugly-ass bitch. That's not what I said.

I'm not shooting my shot. Like, if we're at a thing and a thing happens, that's one thing. I'm not going to be like, hey, Utica, can I please come to Chicago and fuck you? Or you fuck me and me suck your dick. Utica lives in Chicago? Yeah, she lives in Chicago. Damn. But I found these results on search. Mind your fucking business, bitch. So Utica left her small town. Yeah, she left the first town of fucking 800 people. Have you been to Utica? New York. Yeah, that's where she's from.

No, she's from Utica. We talked about it. She's from Utica, Indianapolis. She's not from Utica, New York. Oh, is she really? Yeah. Oh. Indianapolis? Or somewhere else. Indiana, sorry. Utica, Indiana. Utica, Minnesota. No, Indiana. How many Uticas are there? It's Utica, Indiana, because they have a population. Wikipedia says Utica, Minnesota.

Well, she said she has a kind of 800 people. The population of Utica, Indiana is 776. Utica, Indiana has a population of 1,236. She put them on a map, honey. Honey, either you can say that and people move there or in this short time, they started making babies, honey. They started making babies, honey. Well, you look at Minnesota has a... Maybe it is there. That population is even smaller. 266. Girl, there are some... Have I ever told you to Google Minnesota City, Minnesota?

No. I performed in Minnesota City, Minnesota. Google that population. Say it out loud. That'll be the last thing on the podcast. It will gag you. I performed in this town before. Minnesota has 202 people. Minnesota City. Minnesota City, Minnesota has 202 people. How many people were at the show? So their school...

The high school, the middle school, and the elementary school are all in one building. They don't have another choice. And there are only four classes. You're in the same class from kindergarten to second grade. Third grade to sixth grade. Or whatever. I can't remember how they split it up. But you have one teacher for three years. How many people live like that? Isn't that crazy? Couldn't be me. Well, if it had to be, it would be you.

Alright, Monet, here's to our smash list and may you and Utica fuck like animals. Goodbye, bitch.