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¶ Childhood TV Memories: Art Attack
I've thrown 3K. Yep. I've thrown 3K But you don't feel and you don't care. Stop I've thrown your hand on your head, I've thrown 3K Stop, bro, stop da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Oh, I was thinking what am I what is that from? But yeah. Where is that from? It's cinemating, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. It's View or something. Yeah, it's View. It is View. Yeah. And they do the uh view are is it View that also try and do that? Um The surround something.
I think and it's like the guy it's like the villain from some breader voice. It's black screening. Yeah, yeah. It scares the fuck out of every every time. And then it would be like some I hate I hate it. Put your phones down. Um I have three things to say. Go on. Listen close. D did they all like interlink or are they separate? So separate. I don't know'cause I for you to ask that I was like, Oh wow, yeah, they're just
Art attack of thoughts. Okay. Good analogy. Cool. Um, right. Hot take also, this would be my fourth thing. Art attack. Actually shit. Nah. I found it really boring. I did it. I never did it. I I never found it boring. I found it boring. I pretended to like it because it was what he was doing was impressive. But actually n sit in there and be like, if someone was like, you know, art attacks on in ten minutes, there's no way I'm like I watched it because there was no other option.
I didn't watch it because I couldn't wait to watch Art Attack. I don't think I ever thought to myself, oh, I can't wait to watch Art Attack. But I think as I watched it, I enjoyed it. I thought it was calm and when he was doing the stuff with like the black seeds or whatever he would do. Yeah. Like the final piece at the end of the reason. The final piece was cool, but I remember watching him do it. I used to f feel like get on with it. Get on with it.
Uh, anyway. Ten seasons of that bitch. Yeah. I don't even know who that is. Is that the same Redder? No, that's not our guy either. Oh yeah, I mean we grew up watching. He looks like that Australian actor. That does the um you know the the sho the show where he just like is there's like a schoolgirl and there's one where he's like a real estate agent. Ah No. Sorry, bro, type in Australian comedy sketch show. You'll know exactly who I'm talking about. That br right there. Yeah. Chris Lilly.
Just like you. Okay, cool, cool, cool. That guy's jokes, bro. Yeah, yeah.
¶ No Snacks and High Chicken Prices
Um, right, you never seen his brother, uh Aaron? I've never seen him. Really? Really? I'm surprised. Funny, funny brother. Anyway, three things. First thing, ask me how many snacks I've had in 2026. I'm annoyed because when I start asking, you're gonna say immediately. How many? It was quivering. Your boy has not had one snack in 2026. Well played. Not a single snack. How does it make you feel? Not food anyway. Yeah. Diet may vary. Carnivore diet. Yeah. Um How's it made you feel? Great. Good.
Great. Um, I feel like so good and um It's really nice. Like I have no desire. No desire anymore. I think it's past you've passed that like that sugar barrier. Yeah, yeah. I have and like I feel great for it. And the most I wouldn't call it a snack. I've had it like with um something, but the most I've had is literally
Um half a slice my my treat per se is if I've eaten all I can eat and I'm starving, I'll make sure it's immediately after dinner. I don't snack later on in in the thing. Immediately, like I force myself to do it immediately. Um, it will be half a slice of sourdough bread with um like a teaspoon of raw honey and then some like um peanut butter.
That's all I'm allowing myself. You have it immediately afterwards. Immediately afterwards. Why? Um to could to basically to I do it as it's not a craving thing. I'm making sure that I'm doing it because I've had all my meals for the day and I'm fucking starving. Okay. It's not like a sit down, relax, I'm craving something sweet. Yeah, yeah. It's like a eat it now and then there has been times Where um I've done like I also stop when I'm full.
Okay. So like the first time I did it, I had like two slices of s sourdough. Yeah. And I finished like the first one. I was like, I don't even want the other one. Dash the other one away. Okay. And I've that's why I'm doing it straight after dinner. To be like, just there's no greed in it. I'm just really I think like I'm just really hungry.
So I'm getting some extra fats in or whatever. And then that's it. It's done. Nice. Um so no stacks in 2026. Nice. Feel good. Nice. Um just need to sort my sleeping out.
Last night was really bad. Even with the pillowing, you remember you were telling me like you have two pillows, you threw one off. Yeah, yeah. No, last night I just couldn't switch my brain off. The pillowing is fine now. Last night I just couldn't switch my brain off. And I'm still having intense dreams, regardless of the no sugar late sugar. Maybe it's the lack of.
That would be a piss take. That would be a piss take, but maybe. Yeah, the punishment for six a six pack is dreams. Yeah. Yeah. Do you remember what you dreamt about? No. Fade to black. Um Right. Second thing. Yeah. Have you seen the price of free range slash organic chicken recently? Fuck no. Oh, I bet this is kicking you in the Ask me. I'm not gonna cut you off this time. Ask me how much Actually, no, you tell me.
In your experience, a whole chicken. Just a normal whole chic, not even a large one. Okay, I was gonna say what size, yeah. A h just a don't think organic, don't think free range, dah dah dah just tell me. Oh regular chicken. If you want to make a rest dinner, how much would you expect to spend on a chicken? We were like twelve pounds.
That's cute. If you go into Waitro's this afternoon and get an organic whole chicken, not even large, not even like genetically modified mutated things that we get, a normal meagre ting. No. What's happening? There's some kind of crises going on. 32 pounds. Bro. I saw one the other day for 27 pounds. Um Just just yeah, bro. Ms one that one organic 20 pounds, bro. Free range chicken breast. I bought that 10 pound thing again. Uh it was in Tesco the other day, bro. I bought
Two two organic chicken breasts. Small little thing. Eleven pounds. And I was like, I can't afford to eat. Yeah, that's something happening. Yeah, I can't afford to eat, bro. It was it was horror. It was horrifying. It was truly, truly horrifying. Um, so that's what's going on. Um it must be a short.
Or there's a shortage of organic shit. Or they've just realized people are willing to pay whatever it takes for organic stuff and then they're just hacking the price. Hiking the price up. Organic chicken is peas though. It's always kind of is is bin peas. Yeah. I got four or five. Wait rows and I I just grabbed it off the like organic as well.
Scanned it, so check out, I almost fell on my knees, bro. It's like eight pounds for like four little fives. Most of it's bonus, well. It's not even bonus, bro. Yeah. Chicken. Chicken's special. Chicken's going up, boy. Uh yeah, it's horrible. Yes, truly horrible. But anyway, that's point number two. So Protect your neck if you want to be healthy. Cool. And um third thing.
¶ Podcasts for Escapism and Relief
This is like a wholesome bit. Okay. I was randomly listening to a podcast yesterday. Mm-hmm. And then there was a brair on there. One guy was basically going on a run, right? And he was like, oh, I don't like he was like, he has a podcast, but he said he doesn't listen to the podcast.
Fair behavior. Yeah. Um which has its peaks and drops. Not even peaks and drops, uh pros and cons. Anyway, so he was like, I don't listen to podcasts. And then one of the the guests that he had on his podcast was like, why? And he was like, I don't like them. And then he was like, there's so much like nonsense that goes on on a podcast. And then the guest of the podcast was like, yeah, but that's like the point. And it was like there are in the world there are things like
Caru Network or you're looking at like Fresh Prince, My Wife and Kids, the sitcoms and like the fun things that you grew up on. And it was like your time to just relax, bro. To get excited to relax. And to get excited to just like zone out. And the like the little things that we just like enjoy. Um Enjoy watching or listening to or whatever. That doesn't educate you. It doesn't like make a positive or negative impact in your life. It's just your time to be like, I love this. Like obviously
Culinary class wars, right? Binge the fuck out of that. Comes out tomorrow. Can't wait to watch it. Excited, excited. Is it benefiting my life at all? No. Does it educate me on anything? Not really. Does it like Is it thought stimulating or this or that? No, it's just fun. And then the guest was like, bro, there's podcasts out there that just
They're just fun. Yeah. You just get to zone the fuck out. And I was like, wow, this guy's talking about my job. This guy's actually talking about my job. And I spoke a little about a little bit about it last week where I was like, um Before before we did this and I was working full-time, it was literally like me in stairs. Was succinct. Yeah. Yeah. I was ready to jump down the stairs head first. And
There were there were actually podcasts that I would listen to at that time. Yeah. That would be like This is stopping me. This is on my commuter work. This is literally stopping me from jumping down the stairs. Okay. Um and it's the only thing I would look forward to. Okay. And I we I I Forget that time in my life. I really forget that that there was a time where every single Monday on my depressing drive to work, there would be specific podcasts where if they dropped an episode, I'll be like,
Fucking yes. Yeah. This is gonna make my community so much better, dude. This is gonna make my day so much better. Especially if it was a longer episode. Um, we should do longer episodes. We should. It's difficult, but we should because one thing for me is that I had like a 45 minute commute to work, and if the episode was like an hour.
Sometimes they'll do an episode for like an hour and a half, which obviously I know we do sometimes, but like I'll be gassed to be like, okay, not only does this see me through my kammuot, this is gonna get me through half of lunch as well. Okay. And it would just be headphones in, da da da. And I'll be like,
This has made the day so much better. And I was like, wow, that's my job. That's actually my job. My job is to help people who want to crash their car and they'll commute to work because it sucks so fucking bad. Yeah. That at least they at least they know on Monday. Today's gonna be 30% better. They can zen out. I can zen out, bro. And I don't need someone to teach me about like
wellness or I don't need someone to tell me you should be meditating because fucking XYZ. I don't need someone to tell me that the patriarchy is the reason for why XYZ XYZ. I can just Listen to nonsense and take my mind away from paying these bills for one day. Yeah. And um yeah, it made me really happy. That's good, G. Um, also props to you for suggesting that. Um drop out episodes on a Monday. So I feel like
It's it just proves the point of what we were saying. That was the exact reason why I always wanted us to drop episodes on Monday. I know. Because I was like, Mondays were depressing. And then they would also drop a second episode. A lot well, a lot of them would drop second episodes on like Wednesday or Thursday and I'll be gassed again. Um I'd be like, thank God. Um which brings me on to my next point. Guys, if you drive to work on a Monday and you're like, This Monday is better.
Another day in the week would also be better. You're literally if you're not on our Patreon, you're missing fifty percent of the content. Literally. There are exclusive episodes that come out every Thursday and you're only watching half of it. So all you guys that were DMing me being like, My rapt, my rapt, I'm in the naught point four percent of listeners.
Are you there? Are you though? Because you're only listening to half of it. Literally. And there's so much stuff that goes on a daily basis. For example, Ellis is off today, Raisin. A lot of people are like, who the fuck is that? Who the fuck is that guy? Yeah. Because you're not in you're not balls deep in the SNG law. Because you only watch half the episodes or listen to half the episodes. And that's fine if you're com com if you're comfortable being mediocre, that's absolutely fine.
Some people are comfortable only doing half the work. And then you get half the pleasure. Pause. Yeah, anyway, so patron dot com forward slash is the gigs guys. Um and you can enjoy an extra fifty percent of those uh muggy, greasy commutes to work and you wanna make your life a little bit easier. And um anyway, I was feeling joyous when I I felt very seen on that podcast yesterday. Good man. Good, good, good. And I was like, okay, that's like a nice It's a reflective moment as well. Which is um
It's a reflective moment. It's also one of those ones where yes, I said reflective, but it's like you forget You forget about those things until you're reminded again. And you're like, oh wow. Oh wow. This was me. This was really, really me, bro. Every every week I was just like, bro, I will just. Jump. Yeah. I will just jump. Yeah. The podcast saved me. Yeah. It really did, which sounds crazy, but it does. It really did. It sounds entitled. It's
¶ Gym Rest Day and Whiskey Tasting
This this podcast saved me. Oh, do you know why I'm annoyed? Why? Because I'm not going to gym today. Why? I could have sip sipped. Why aren't you going to gym? Why I'm not going to say I'm I'm can I be honest? This would add on to my other like haven't snacked, haven't this, haven't that. I've gymmed every day. Oh, okay, fair. For like the last two weeks. I think I've had
In the last two weeks I th I might have had one day off. Oh. And um which is great. I'm going for it. But like You need to rest, bro. Yeah. I need to rest. And when I I I obviously told you I had a shit sleep last night. Only had a few hours. So I was like Perfect excuse to rest. Perfect excuse. I've been training every single day. I've enjoyed it, all this kind of stuff, but my body's really starting to tell me, like, we're struggling, James. We are really struggling. So take a day off.
So I already realised I'm not gonna be able to give him my all in the gym today. Um I don't even know what I can train, if I'm being perfectly honest. I've trained everything twice in the last seven days. Okay. And I'm like, if you
I imagined this morning when I was packing my bags you being like, What do you want to train today? And me like feeling everywhere. Yeah. And I'd be like, I don't know. I don't know. And I thought, okay, take a day off. Rest. And actually, and then I can have a better sleep tonight. Good. Um But anyway, yeah, I could have sip sip today because I'm trying to do more sip sips this year. Do we have anything? I don't think we have anything, do we? I don't.
I think so. I actually don't think so. Oh. What's in there? That looks like a fragrance. It does. Whiskey? It's whiskey? Oh, that's gifted. Oh, that's HomeGirl from um Old McCall baby. This is an Australian. Oh yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. American oak barrels are previously held. Um Aussie Barossa Valley Red Wires, known for full body. Flavor. Alright, I'm gonna have one.
Right now? Go for it. Yeah, I'm gonna go for it and have one. I think we got cups. Yeah, we got some red cups over there. Right. So this is this was gifted to oh, it's actually cold. Oh, oh, thank god. I thought it was gonna be boiling. This is Starwood. Single mort Australian whiskey for tears matured in American oak red wine barrels. Rem literally just said that. Um Okay. Whiskey character, blackberry, vanilla, figs. Okay. It's given sweet. Yeah, yeah. Um let's see what it's saying.
That's annoying. Don't we hate when that happens? Do you know the last time I drunk properly on a podcast was when we had GK Barry in? Wow. GK. Oh wow. I was off my tits. I forgot about that. I love that episode. Me too. Um, she's on my list to get uh to try and return back. Return. Yeah. Actually I might as well out them now. Yeah. It smells like wine. Which is maybe weird. That is weird for a whiskey. It does smell like wine. It smells exactly like red wine. Yeah. That's super weird.
¶ Future Podcast Guest Wishlist
Yeah, I'm just going to slap it. No, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, don't worry. I'm going to stop. You sure you want to tell us? Oh God. Rem? Yeah, please. Yeah. I have a list of I actually have a list of uh guests that I want us to have this year. Talk to me. Mm-hmm. Um GK Barrel returns. One. I would love that. So GK.
Please come back. That one was funny. Mm-hmm. Specs, I want to come back. Super funny. Mm-hmm. Another one that I said he never really does podcasts. And uh Sander came around to cut my hair the other day and he was going straight to cut his hair straight after and I said, Tell him when you're there that I'm gonna be DMing him all the time to get out of here.
Nico. Yeah, it is Nico. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've wanted Nico as a guest for like years. Yeah. Uh never asked him. But it's one of them ones where it's just like, I've just never seen him do a do a podcast. And I know he's busy and all this kind of shit. And I'm just like, he'll probably say no. So I don't want to put myself in that vulnerable position. That's one of my new things of twenty twenty six, put myself in vulnerable positions. Big pause. Um
But I want I wanna just stop fear being a barrier to I hate fear of rejection to be a barrier. Um Max Kadar as well. A hundred and ten percent. Yeah. This guy's on a generational comedy run right now. He's taken over the timeline, bro. Bro, I saw a clip that he posted the other day of when he was a you trying to make it as a YouTuber. And he had to fake a QA. Like, um, so the next question is, have I ever faded? And Mum was like, wow, great questions. Yeah, I am. Runner. Max Gadar is fucking
Funny, bro. Generational right now. Funny, bro. Yeah, yeah. Love for that. Love for that. Love for that. This guy's a weirdo. Um but yeah. He's on my list. Um and there's very other people on my list. Nella Rose returning. Oh that'll be generation. Nella man. Yeah. Every time I text Nella, she's um got a new number. And she never gives me her new number. Yeah. Do you know why I smack in the face?
It's like a three she doesn't check her DMs. Yeah, yeah. Facts. Yeah. Bro, smack in the face is she'll get a new number. I'll text her. I literally text her a few months ago saying, Hey, how are you? Miss you. Hope you're well. Da da da da. One tick. I was like, damn, again with this. Again with this. And if she wants me to have the number, then she would send it to me. But then she'll ring me like a month later, just like chicken in, blah blah blah. And I'm like,
Uh well going for the number. I send it to you. No, you never. You do this all the time. And you gaslight me. Oh it's jokes. Anyway, yeah. I want I want some funny funny guests on this year. We all get Um he's twenty two. Is he you bro? I didn't think he was that young. Valid, yeah, me neither. Actually, I didn't think he was that young. Yeah, me neither. He's younger than Ellis, bro. Good point.
S is getting on. I'm not gonna lie to you. You're younger than S as well, isn't it? Twenty-four. You're both twenty-four. But I'm like younger than you. No. No, I think I think it's going to be twenty-five. Uh in March. No, July. No, June. June. July. June. March thirty first. March thirty first. March thirty first. Sorry. March thirty first. March thirty first. Sorry. Very soon he'll be twenty five. Yeah.
And you're 24. And you're 25. I'm fresh 24. Fresh. Oh, you're fresh. When was your birthday? 22nd of December. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's fucking horrible. That's horrible. It's not great. That's horrible. It's not great. That's really horrible. I've not tried it yet. Not Apple, Jack Daniel, no. Oh that's really horrible. That's tough.
¶ Strong Whiskey Reactions
Um I'm sorry to do this again. Ray. Or I'm Can someone run next door and grab a Pepsi please? Oh, it's really it's really quite awful actually to be On a slight sip, it warms. Yeah, it's toasty. Yeah. It's toasty. I got warmth rolling. And yeah, that that is sip it as is. Just like a You're a man. A slight. You're a real man. But it's literally just sips though. It's not like I'm not gulping anything. Nah.
My lungs are on fire. It's horse in my throat. That's crazy, bro. Yeah, what percent is that? It must be quite high. That's really quite terrible. Fifty percent. Oh is it really? That's illegal. That's not legal in the UK. I don't think that is legal in the UK. Oh, Dr. Pepper. Now we're now we're talking. サイファラッ サイファラッ
Yeah, bro. What time are we on? 20. 50% really isn't legal in this country. How'd she get in here? 50. No wonder, bro. Geez. Yeah. Oh my goodness. That's really horrible. You man. It's a lot. It's make my eyes widen. Yeah. Oh my goodness. So anyway, thank you for bringing all the joy, bro. Don't make me cry. Shut the fuck up, bro. Why do you have to why do you why do you have to ruin it? I'm trying to be authentic with you and you're just like Not even good acting. What do you mean, bro?
Don't make me cry. What the fuck was that? I'm being like d I did this. Yeah, no, I'm like I f I felt it. And I went a bit extra, but I felt it. I know what that is. That's That was a defense mechanism. He overcompensated. Yes. This guy knows about therapy. You overcompensated so you I I do this all the time. You overcompensate it so you don't
have to be vulnerable, expressing how you really feel in that moment. Even if how you really feel was way lower, you overcompensate. I do this all the time. When I'm when I do a like a yeah. I think it's you know one of those ones where
You've said something, my brain has heard what you said, but I still say what did you say? And then as soon as you start saying it again, I was like, Oh, I actually heard what you said. Yeah. So my my body reacted too quick to the emotion. If that makes sense. So yes, I overcome it. I know it.
Do you want to do it again? Yeah, go. Or will it be fake? Why would it be fake? Because you already know it's coming now. Pause. But um. Yeah. No. Go on. Thank you for the joy, bro. I appreciate it, bro. Thank you too. That was genuine. Well done. You thought it was gonna break out, didn't you? Uh yeah. Yeah. No, you don't, you your acting has gone up. I think we just need with your acting, I think we just need to find the right stimulus.
True. Yeah, dude'cause give we had a script, fuck me, it's pretty terrible. Scripts are tough, man. But put them in a he says she says situation. Mm I've never seen anything like it. So we just need to find the right cues. Yeah. To get you in your accent bag. Very true. Just start to purpose changing the game. Yeah. Yeah. It's delicious. Send me, send me, send me. Please.
¶ Relationship Boundaries in Intimate Scenes
Have the rest. Um you said you had a question for me. Um I do have a question for you. So speaking of um acting. If you were an actor, and well, if you and your partner were actors, yeah, yeah, and you so you just so happened to be casted for the same show or movie, right? Um, but your partner, your Um there's another actor that's your partner's love interest. Right.
And they've got scenes, bro. They've got intimate scenes. Bearing in mind you're also in this show or movie. How are you like, how are you maneuvering? How are you feeling? How are you? Yeah, how are you moving? How am I treating this? What's my okay?
They've got scenes. They've got scenes, yeah. What's my role in this TV? Where am I on the cool sheet? Um, on the call sheet, you're not the lead. Okay. But you're also not like, you're not like I'm not server number four. Yeah, you're not Z. You're like Not the lead is all I needed to be fair. You don't need to I I know what I know. Okay. Yeah. Um I would s no no to be fair, I would say like Is the guy she's fucking the lead?
No, the guy she's not fucking is the lead, but the guy she it's just a love interest. He's someone that she works with. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay. Office thing. You are. Spider-Man the Civil War. You're impactful, uh, but you're not the whole thing. Yeah, it's not about me. It's not it's nothing to do with you. I'm still him, but it's not about me. Spider-Man Civil War is a is a great, great, great uh analogy. Okay, cool. Um
And she's getting clotted. She's getting it's just sexual tension. And they have to practice you. They have to practice. I don't know why I said you afterwards. They have to practice. Okay, cool. How am I maneuvering? Obviously I've got the script, so I know how much kissing is needed.
Um needed is crazy. No, no, no, I do. I know exactly how much is. I know we just need to kiss to get to the thing. If they're kissing, okay. If they kiss during um intercourse, I'm shutting down the production. I think that's what it is. But then with the intercourse they're never really actually fucking. So the kissing is what they need to see. No, it's not. So here's the thing. No, no, no, here's the thing. I've got the script.
It is literally Office romance, toilets, lunch break, slam the door, spins her around. Uh no no no. Slams the door, pushes her up against the door. Cool, great, you're a you're an alpha. Good good for you, isn't it? Yeah. Um lips, lips, lips, lips, lips, lips, lips, and then spins around, you know the job. Spins her around. Yanks down the the panty hose and then
Does the fake slip in. They always do the fake slip in. And you can always say it's fake because he never has to dip in. Yeah. He just goes straight forward. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. And now he's rocking her against the door. Yeah. And you hear that goon, go go, go, go. Now. If she breaks her neck to lip sim, we're shutting this down. It's not necessary. And that's improv. And you don't need to be that in character. But who are you to decide this?
Herman. Yeah, but you're also not the director. Yeah, I know. I know. The thing is. Fuad. You've asked me a question and I've answered it. And that is true. You've uh you've asked me a question and I've humbly answered it. And I don't really want to get into the weeds of what authority we both know I don't have the authority, but I'm telling you I'm shutting it down. Or actually, um okay. I probably wouldn't shut it down, I would just shut down that relationship.
Cause you don't need to do it. Yeah. And if you don't need to do it, what's more important to you? The role when your man's on set. And I'm not on I'm not even on set to be a bother. I'm on set because I work here. Yeah. And you're throwing this in my face. But she's acting.
She's actually acting up is what she is. She's actually trying to convince the viewers. No, because I think you've done a wonderful job because I'm convinced. But this is this is the point. You're convinced and everyone can be. Nah, yeah, good for yeah, it doesn't matter. This is Cory we're talking about. There's no golden globes here. This is Coronation Street.
Yeah, but it could propel her. No, I don't give a fuck. It could propel her, bro. This is her dream. This is your dream. That's not that not witnessing that isn't your dream, but acting as your dream. Brother, I have a lot of dreams and there's a lot of things I'm not willing to do to get there. Okay. That's all I'll say. Okay. If you wanna whore yourself out.
Wow. To convince an audience. Wow. Defensive boy. Yeah, I am, because you didn't need to lip in there. It's actually better for the camera if you don't. Says who? The m says The script because the script didn't say lips. Yeah, but it's improv. The director said do as you please, convince me. Yeah. So you're charging the relationship? Yeah. I have to. And that's that's what happens on set all the time.
People who are fake banging on screen end up banging in real life and they ruin their relationships. It happens every day. They tried to pin it on my boy Timothy Charlemagne with his love interest in um My Supreme. Because there's one thing, literally the scene I spoke to you about. Brings her into the office, they lock the door, lip, slip, slip, spins her around, hike scurb, klar, klark, klark. And then I kept seeing all over.
He banked her real life, he banged her in real life. Kylie's livid, he banked her in real life. Bro, it happens all the time. I'm not I'm I'm not gonna be the one where they're like James is livid. I'm not gonna be the one when they bring that scene out and be like, ah, James is categorically livid. And then someone comment, you know he's in the show as well. He was actually probably watched it IRL. I'm not gonna be the laughing stock of TikTok because she wants to achieve style in her career.
Yeah, she thinks lips in breaking her lips or lips in is gonna happen. It's not gonna happen. Not on my watch. Do you think if you were an actor and you had a scene with um a chick where it had to be like intimacy, sexual tension, all of these type of things, do you think I'll spit in the mouth. 'Cause I've got places I need to be. What I was gonna say, but fair. What I was gonna say was do you think if the connection if you feel like you have convinced yourself and convinced your um
your partner in the situation that, oh, this has convinced everyone. Do you think you could take this outside of the film? Do you think you can start dating someone you've had a flirtatious relationship with on set? But the chemistry was it was like it's like a Leonardo DiCaprio Margot rubby type sexual type. It was crazy on set. Crazy on saying you you start to think mid acting like Is she really running? I would have had to see her discography to
To understand is this her or is this the rock? How good of an actress is she? Cause if I've seen a couple of her movies and she's kind of mid as an actress. If she's kind of mid as an actress in the other shit I've seen, but she's convincing me that she's down in this thing, one hundred percent I can date her off screen. One hundred percent. But if she's like
Margarobby, she's sensational. I wouldn't let myself get tapped in. I have a follow-up question. In a sex scene, if you were an actor, yes. If you were doing dogs, yes.
¶ On-Set Chemistry and Stripper Economics
If you if the director again said improv improv, if I'm if I'm dogs in a thing in in a scene and then my improv is I grab her chin from here and lips her like this, do you think she's Do you think she's charged in the thing or do you think she's down? Um Yeah.
I I the thing is I think I think she'll break the fourth wall. Yeah. I I think if you grab her and she like looks, I think she'll be so confused because one, you've never done it before. And two, I think she'll look at the camera like what the fuck is happening? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's about to fuck with me. Oh my god, I think... I think he's about to fuck me.
And she'll look at the director through the lens. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, through the lens Yeah, through the lens. She'll look at the director through the lens. Yeah. Like what's hap what is happening? Yeah. What is happening? What is happen? What is happening? What is happening? But then I'm giving it the the kissing of wiggle. Act act as a really oh I'm sorry. Actors are really, really, really, really good at um following along.
Yeah, they are. I'm really good at doing it. Yeah, exactly. So it could be a case of as you do that, she looks like she's looking at you and she's back in it. She's throwing it back at you. And then that's when you start to think, oh, she actually really likes me. Yeah, yeah. That's when you start to think, oh my God, Mark and Robbie actually likes me. Yeah. And this is how strippers make pee. Because they let you believe whatever you want to believe. Wow, that that is literally nail.
Yeah, bro. Yeah. Whatever you wanna believe, they'll let you believe is possible. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Wow. Strippers, if you're listening, target men 21 to 24. No offense, Ray. They will throw. They're student finance that you for whatever reason I reckon Yeah, let's call it. Probably TikTokers have the best income for that age range. Collect yourself a TikToker slash YouTuber, ages twenty one to twenty four. How old is Neon? Probably around Neon's prime. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Neon's prime.
They're snagging'cause I when I was twenty one to twenty-four, if I had the PU man, these strippers would have got all of it. All of it, rags. Rag. They would have got Oh love it. Literally right. Rave you been to strip club before? Nah. Oh good. It's for the it's for the best. I would recommend one of Say that again. What did you say? Yeah, there's one in short it.
Oh, isn't that the one where they used to put the pound coins in the tank? Every nah that's dead shit. Yeah, that's what I'm feeling. I remember doing it as like a 14-year-old of GTA. Yeah. And that's a different thing. Yeah. It's a mad admission, bro. Yeah, it's crazy. But like I never really got it. You're just you're just there, you know. Yeah. Um brother, um UK strippies are so dead. So did. And I thought they were lit until I went in till I experienced the real thing. There's one in LA
That would ch it would take it will give you your vision back. Yeah, I think you'd yeah. You'd offer them blood. If you couldn't if you couldn't yeah yeah yeah if you couldn't If the ATM was just brock, yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd offer them a kidney slice. You're offered them a kidney. Maybe we've got some mad ones, isn't it?
I don't even know he owns strip clubs. That doesn't surprise me in the slightest. T M TMT strip clubs or something like that. I've never even heard of that. Bro, these men make they make so much money. They make racks. And it's it's it makes sense. I think The uh the president that said let's have a one dollar bill
Changed the game. He was he was a fool. He was thinking he was thinking about twenty twenty five. Yeah, yeah. He was thinking about twenty twenty five, bro. Think'cause when you're dashing one dollar bills, it literally feels like nothing. He's expected, bro. Feels literally like nothing. Nothing. And then until they come round with the brood. Oh shit, I've thrown 3K. Yep. I've thrown 3K. But you don't feel and you don't care.
I've thrown your hand on your head, I've thrown 3K. Stop, bro. Stop. Then I've thrown cash in there and then had a palpitation. No offense. I took her money off the couch and threw it again. I took her hard earned money off off the couch and threw it again. I couldn't ask I couldn't get more. I think my tactic was 3K's insane. I think my tactic was after like the first hour, like you go crazy in like the first hour or so. But the second hour, let's say you still got like a stack in your hand.
You start throwing the ones literally one by one. Yeah, you one by one by one. Because she knows you're good for it. Yeah, exactly. You can't pressure me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One by one, but like every ten seconds. You don't you don't None of this because it's got a fly. None of this handful stuff, bro. That's that's for you gotta take your time with it. Oh god. So are they throwing pound coins at?
¶ UK Strip Club Experiences
No, no, you just put it in the you put it in a Oh my god, it's so boring, bro. So in that one that you're talking about, we went there one time. I don't even know if they still do it in there, by the way, because we went this is like over this is like a decade ago. This is way back. Um, we went in there because we couldn't get in a club that we wanted to go. This was my birthday, by the way. It was your birthday, I remember. Worst birthday ever. Um still we saw Bruno Mars that day. It was great.
But we missed Anderson. We missed Addison Pack. Which we will not be doing that mistake again in July. We won't. That lineup's insane. Yeah. The lineup's the best lineup I've seen on a thing. Yeah. But unless it's like a festival. I can't wait to go. Sorry, yeah. So anyway Basically, Ting gets on the pole, when it's her turn, someone else is just walking around with a bucket and you have to put a pound coin in. If they run you round again and say pound coin and you ain't got it, get out.
It's the most ridiculous It's the worst I've ever been to my life. Should clubs in the UK now. Yeah, terrible, bro. So you gotta walk in there clinging of metal. Yeah, you gotta have bare pound coins. You need to have bare pound coins, bro. I was just saying the the president at one dollar bill. Genius, but uh he changed the game. Genius. Oh my god, they go on in four hours.
¶ TUI Holiday Planning and Destinations
Oh we have to go. Uh they go and sell them for Oh wait. Presale stu what is that countdown then? I don't know. Pre-sale the twelfth. The twelfth is today. Oh oh the sign up for presale. Sign up for pre-s that's it. The sign up for pleas are closed at six. Uh general sale is Wednesday. All right. We are going
Crazy, it's on a Saturday as well. Sorry, Saturday and Sunday, yeah. Less I got an email. I got an email from Web. Yeah, yeah. So do I, so do I so we've got a package? Like a concierge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Expense did you see the price? Yeah, of course I did. Yeah. Expensive. Sunday is cheaper. You want to do it?
Um I'll ask Megan first and see what she gets in. But then against Wembley had a it was expansive. I couldn't believe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm. But it's like that's gonna be a night to remember. Are there i let's see if there are any um dates that uh correlate with us being away there as well. Um so you're looking for Oh, hang on. Go go go go go go go Houston. So we are in America on the sixteenth of April. Um and we're in we're we're no we're in we're in Texas. We're in Texas at that time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were literally in Texas at a time. So we could, we could, we could extend our trip and go Houston on my birthday. Oh. Oh is that it's actually on your birthday as well. Yeah, let's go.
And I was livid last time when we were in Houston. We were there for like six hours. Yeah. So I didn't get to experience it. And Nashville's on the 16th, but Nashville's on the sixth and okay, cool. Yeah, man. I'm down for that. Oh, I'm definitely down for that. Yeah. Yeah, I'm definitely for that. We'll see what's going on. Yeah. That could be a thing. That could depend.
¶ Relationships as Weather Forecasts
All right, say less. Um question of the week. Question of the week. Question of the week this week was ladies, explain your relationship slash heartbreak using the weather forecast. And someone said something that I thought of, I was like, thank god. So the first one, cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I was like, gang, you locked in. Someone said cloudy with a chance of cheating. Oh Pour him down with thunder clouds.
¶ Sponsor Messages: BetterHelp and Ava
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Find yours and feel lighter. Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash gigspod. That's better. H-E-L-P dot com slash gigspod. This episode is sponsored by Ava. Guys, girls, real talk. When did you first realise credit actually matters? Because no one tells you growing up. Brother, you may or may not know this, but I had to have one of our close friends rent two houses with me on paper because I didn't have good enough credit to rent a house by myself.
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Helping you build a stronger credit history. They can even report things like rent, utilities and phone bills, including up to twenty-four months of past payments, so the money you've already spent can actually count. It's simple, transparent and low stress. No confusing tears, no weird hidden fees, just tools that help you stay consistent. Take control of your credit today. Download the Ava app, A V A, and when you join using our promo code SNG20,
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¶ Listener Relationship Weather Metaphors
Okay. Fair enough. Yeah, mine got depressing. Here we go. It used to be sunny weather. Just about to be peak summer, then global warming hit, and that beautiful weather was gone without a trace. Citizens have done all kinds of green environmental activities to bring it back. But it seems it's found a more stable, eco friendly region. Unfortunately, she's gone and she's not coming back. Damn bro. This one says category six hurricane. It was wet as predicted.
This one. Explain your relationship in the weather forecast. Welcome to the desert. It's been a year since we've had precipitation. Drought is still in the foreseeable forecast. Try watering your garden with your tears. Wow. Piggyback, we're in a California drought. There's no water to be seen. The cacti beginning to wilt. Those jokes. Right. Fifteen degrees in the morning. 15 degrees 20 minutes later. Snow, rain, and ice with springtime temperatures after six.
How do you even dress for that? Facts. Facts. That's all over the gap. That's all over the place. Ladies, explain your relationship slash breakup. Oh heartbreak, sorry, using the weather forecast. Looked hot on the radar. Brief heat wave, equipment malfunctioned, weather app deleted. Whether or not delete is insane. Roller coaster emotions. Bro. Set to be a scorcher turned into a quick in brackets very quick shower followed by doom and gloom. Oh my god.
ASAP. This one. Light drizzle. Dot dot dot. Didn't even know it happened. Oh. Didn't even know it happened. Light drizzle. Barely touched me. Betty Fell. Yeah. It's hard to see due to the fog. Next one. Seek safe. Seek safe shelter. Oh my goodness. This excites about to come. Uh for months now, the south has dried up due to torrential rain up north. That's horrible. Tears are making my pussy dry. Wow, that's layered. Tears are making my pussy dry. That's layered. Next uh last one.
Uh I'm drunk for it. I'm just gonna come out and say it. That fifty percent's rocking me. Remember, you feeling this? I'm feeling it, Rem. I've had two si I I feel those. Rocking me. Yeah, I'm I'm a bit more perky. I would definitely say I'm light. I'm sweating under the city, bro. I'm rocking. Yeah, I'm rock, I think I'm rocking. I'm I can barely hear you. Speak up. I can barely hear you. Yeah, I'm a bit more perky now, I'm not gonna lie. My palms are sweating. Knee's weak, bro. What?
All right, last one. Ladies, explain your relationship slash heartbreak using the weather forecast. Living in category five conditions, but refuse to move because there's always a rainbow after the hurricane. Yeah. Uh horrible stuck still. That's horrible. Damn, that sucks.
¶ TUI Holiday Dilemmas Resolved
This next part of the podcast is brought to you by Tui. Right, my brother. Talk to me. Why is it that we can never agree on where we want to go on holiday. Because for me I feel like I need to be relaxed. You're thinking what? Like Egypt? I'm thinking like Egypt, you know, good sun, sand, sea, cocktails, good food. I'm thinking like Orlando.
Oh You you want the thrill. Okay. I only want the thrill. Okay. I wanna get on a boat, I don't wanna hit the waves, and I wanna surf and jet ski and all these kind of things. Correct? We'll agree to disagree. Hear me out. I'm I'm taking your words into consideration when I say this, but Okay. To do. Okay. So it's not just reading fairy smart and sleeping. Okay. Waves. Yeah. Jet skis. Water sports, volleyball, fun things to do that make you feel like wow.
Life is fun. Yeah. Let's not just sleep all the time and relax and exhale. Let's actually think, wow, what a fun experience. Yeah. Scuba diving. We're seeing things. Is that fair? I mean it's not a little bit more than a little bit.
A bad idea, but you lost me at volleyball. So here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. So I'm thinking Spain. Coast of. We're chilling on a lounger. Yeah. Chilling on a lounger. And listen to what I'm saying. And listen to you. We're chilling on a lounger. Yeah. We're getting a tan. Yeah. We're getting some cocktails in. Okay. Yeah.
There's an outdoor gym there. You know what I'm saying? Now go. There's an outdoor gym in your life. Just see it in your peripher. Yeah, what are we doing in there? Just see it in your periff whatever you like, because they've got everything. Okay. I feel like you've scratch the surface okay with the gym stuff. We're actually starting to get active, we're actually starting to do something, but it's not enough, Fiad, frankly. I'm not gonna lie, bro, it's point proven. Is it's it
We're disagreeing too much and it's starting to stress me out and it's it's it's draining me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just wanna land on something. And I feel like if you were a little bit more amicable. Okay. And understanding then you actually might but you can also be understanding why should I concede? Because It's important to me. And it's important to me. Okay. Let me just put a stop to this. Cool. Please.
I've got something to show you. Okay. So I've been taking a look on the Tui website. It's the place to go to for mates who are looking to find the perfect spot to head off on holiday. Okay. Whatever you want, they have it. They've got hundreds of destinations worldwide. There's more options and more choice. I think you'll find two options tick all of your boxes. Interesting. Right it? Alright, so option one, the Tui Blue My Kaulak in Thailand.
You ready to continue? Yeah, you can't pick my interest. Continue. Four bars. Okay. Cessation. Yes. Five pools. Mm. All right, spash splash. I'm missing it. Seven restaurants. Oh, that's gluttonous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. I love to eat. All right, we're lucked. We're lucked. And you've got the Go Pong Night Market, which is supposed to be the place to taste the best of the local food scene.
I know you you love a masterman. Oh, yeah, I know you yeah, yeah. A Tigre. In Thailand? Yeah, yeah. And the rooms look cold. Yeah, the rooms the rooms were banging. I saw an elevated bed. Which looks uh incredible. Yeah, I'm here for it. Yeah, very nice for it. So are we ready for option two? Oh, talk to me. Yeah, I I thought I'd already made my decision, but please, yeah. Beach Rotana in Abu Dhabi. Oh. Go on. The hotel offers.
Twelve restaurants including a French Polynesian restaurant, a German, an Italian, a grill, an Indian, and a Benihana. Oh cut. And a Benihana. I've never even been to Benihana. Yeah, they're doing the best. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Continue, please. A private beach? Oh. Cool. An infinity pool? Yeah. Okay. Ah okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, please. A pool side bar. Yeah. It's happening. Ease of access. Yeah.
That's what I like. Yeah. That's what I like, bro. Whilst we're there, you can go on the world's fastest roller coaster over at Ferrari World. Formula Rosa, which has a speed of zero to two hundred and forty kilometers an hour in just four point nine seconds. This is my street. This is what you want to do. Yeah, yeah. We found my home. Okay, cool. Fair enough. You know what? Yeah. I think I'm I'm swayed. Yeah, please. I'm swayed. Say in words. Tell me what you want to do. I want to go to Abidad.
I really want to go to Abu Dhabi. I think we should book it today. Yeah. I think we should book it now. I'm down. I'm down. All right. You know what I'm thinking? Talk to me. I refuse to believe we're the only friends who struggle with this situation in picking a holiday. There must be millions of pairs of friends that are arguable about where to go. You know what I agree. Just like Rem said and just like Twee helped us with, I think we should help. Two listeners.
pattern another holiday as well. We should give back. We should give back. You know what I mean? I love it. Alright, let's chat to two about it and see if we can pattern this up. Alright that sounds good mum. Keep your eyes out on the Instagram everyone. The holidays are coming. That's the beauty with Tui. You pick it, they sort it. Whether you fancy Thailand, Abu Dhabi, or anywhere else that ticks all your boxes.
Booking T's and C's apply. Atoll and Abda protected. Right. I've got some tweets, you know. Honestly. I haven't had tweets in ages. I've been collating them for the last week.
¶ Childhood Chores and Parental Annoyance
So be kind. What's your biggest fear in a relationship? Reply, it's just me as a kid. Us living together and I take the day off to have some me time and she stays home too. Brother? Yeah, facts. No offense. That's funny. When I was a youth. Yeah. And my mum was on annual leave. I wanted to top myself.
'Cause you didn't have the data yourself. That I didn't that three to five luxury I was so used to every day, I didn't have it anymore. Yeah. And it was morbid. Yeah, there's there I don't think there was anything scary as a you than hearing Uh your parents put their keys in the door. There was nothing scarier because you know your free time is over. Yes, done bro. Fun game is a little bit lucky you were doing is charge, bro. And just Is it just me or not
Did our parents just hate us? Like like hundred percent. Yeah, like hundred percent. They they hated Everything we stood for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They hated joy. Yeah. Because coming back from their nine to five, we had a horrible day. We've had a horrible day trying to graft for the family. And then when when running up and down the stairs smiling and laughing or watching TV, they're like,
What the fuck have you done all day? Shut up! What have you done all right? What have you done, bro? I've been out here earning all day. And what have you done? I asked you to mop the floor. It looks like shit. What have you done? And you're like, Lau me la I'm a child. This is because I think if I could go back, I would have been like
Do you see how miserable you are? Mmm. That's what I'm gonna be when I'm your age. So at least give me joy now. Allow it, man. Because I'm gonna be like you. So why are you making me like you now? Now I'm a child. Yeah, let me vibe. For sake. Yeah, I know exactly what it is. They hated us. There's nothing worse than hearing that key jiggle. Oh, brother.
If it was any earlier than expected, it oh you panic, bro. Oh. Especially if you you knew you had chores prior to them coming home. Like do the dishes or take out the meat from the channel. I'm doing my chores at the last possible second. Same. Same. Fuck. Hate.
Fuck summertime was the worst because it was extra chores. Extra chores. The garden. Now the garden can get involved. Yep. And I had the worst hay fever as a youth. Same. So doing mowing the lawn would murk me. Mowing the lawn and washing their car. My mom didn't make me wash her car. Yeah, my parents refused me to wash it. You left? No. No. No. Just me? Hmm? Just me? Um, my parents. Time. Yeah.
Washing my mum's car was a pocket money thing. Yeah. Not uh washing pocket money. Yeah, bro. You got paid. To watch my mom's car. Yeah! Because that's not a communal area. Yeah. That's a I have to tidy tidying my room and doing chores around our communal house is standard. If I wanna live here rent free, then you need to pull your weight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
No! Yeah, bro. No, absolutely that's not fair. That's not fair. That's pocket money. You might live the softest life. The softest life. The softest. No, bro.
¶ Prostate Exam Talk and Patreon
Um right. Also, I'm not gonna lie. I'm in a good mood. I'm in a good mood. Weekend this might be a four hour episode. Yeah, I'm just buckled in. Yeah. I saw a clip the other day. Um Temi Alchemy had a prostate exam. Yeah, I saw that this morning. Yeah. I think'cause we checked the dates last week. Someone lied to you. Lied to you. Oh said what? And then or did he have a symptom?
I'm not sure if you had Simpsons. I s I just I saw the clip today as well. Okay I'm not sure. I just scrolled over it and I saw the title and I saw them talking about it, but I'm not sure the context as if as in He was lied to. Well he was saying, Oh, we're getting to that age where we need to get tested and then someone asked him, You been tested? And then he was like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like he tried to say it was minor, um, type beat. And I'm thinking
We looked at the ages literally last week. You're not of that age. Someone swindled you into getting in there early. Unless you have symptoms, someone's going to do it. Damn. Why is it? What was he talking just about his experience about it or what was the premise of the video? The purpose of the video was um they had what's uh them our best friends, what are they called again? It might be that man on. Our best friends. And it was um homeboy was saying um
Homeboy was saying, uh, as black men we need to get our prostates checked. Yeah. And Tony was like, Oh, I've done I've been there, done that, got the t shirt. And they were like, Ra, how was it? And he was like, It wasn't too bad. Interesting. Okay. That day. Um, can we run it on the same day or the same week at least? What do you mean? When okay, so who turned your first? Oh, I see. You turn 41.
I mean oh yeah yeah. So when so we all go as a collective? Yeah. Okay. Um I would rather ask if you could wait until at least REM's forty. Before you drag us there. Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah. Yeah, as opposed to'cause obviously you're first. It's it doesn't seem fair if I'm thirty nine and we're all thirty nine and you're like, by the way, guys, I'm forty, let's all get fingered. Yes. I'd be like that, I've I've got months left.
Why you're rushing. When you're dragging off early. It makes more sense unless you're having symptoms. It makes more sense for you to just wait a bit. What are the symptoms of prostate? Okay, cool. So I'm pretty sure pissing something has something to do with it. Like you're a little dribbl you're a dribbler. Oh, you can't control your your your bowels.
So like I might be making this up, but I feel like you'd be bursting for a piss and then you piss like a dribble and then you're yeah, need to go more often, especially at night. A week stream, yep. And then difficulty starts stopping. Wow, as if I had got that and you're a dribbling tank.
What do you say to me? You may have a finger up the arse. You sound like you have. Yeah. You sound like you're promoting it. Promoting's crazy. I have, yeah. Let's go. Are you promoting it? Medicinally or pleasure. No, I think it was medicinally, but I don't remember why.
I remember saying that. What did he just say? What did he say? What did you just say? I think it was medically. I don't remember why. Whoa! No, Raymond! Not in a mad one. That's not even on a mad one. I was like GP, but I don't I don't remember what. Was you did you have a parent or guardian with you at the time? Nah. Nah, nah. I wouldn't want a parent with me, bro. That's nuts. No, I'm just making sure it was above board. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was it was definitely necessary.
I don't remember. How old were you? How old were you? Already young. No. Fifteen, sixteen. Okay, that's not too bad. Yeah. But what was Ellis did as well, to be fair. I don't remember. But Ellis said'cause he felt some or saw something. Yes. But what was your I remember. But I remember it happening and not feeling great. Yeah. Like shame or just like fire. I'm saying it. I don't care. It's a bit of a vulnerable thing, I'll be real. I can imagine. Does it have you in the feet all?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They put you put they putting you aside and they do the mad thing with the the glove and all that shit. Yeah. Yeah. But you can't remember what it was for. No. But it was by a doctor. I think it was a I think it was a project. It must have no other justification as far as as far as I know. As far as NHS are concerned. There's no other reason it could be, bro. Damn. I was pretty sure it was a genre. I don't remember. But yeah, it was a weird thing.
I was like, oh cool. And now you men are saying about being like forty plus to do it. I was like, oh yeah, bro. I hit the thing earlier. You skipped the cube, boy. You jumped in the cube. Yeah. Man. Yeah. Wow. Man had a fast pass for prostate checks. Interesting.
Yeah. So unless you've got one of these things, I beg you don't drag us in early. But I think we should all make a conscious effort as friends to be like, I think we should all do this. Because I won't I won't I d I just know I won't book it by myself. Neither would I. I will I will delay, delay, delay, delay until it's too late. So I think swollen scenario. My prostate exam should go on Patreon.
That's not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea. It's actually not a bad idea. Sounded crazy. It's not a bad idea. It's promotion of something that we should all be doing as at a specific age is for health and mumples will go up, boy. Yeah. It's a good sh it's a good shout. It's sounding mad. I don't know. The thing is as well, yeah, this is my thing. I don't know that it sends the message that we think it's sending I think we convince ourselves like
Black men haven't need to have more of these conversations. Let's make a Patreon episode of our prostate exams. I don't know that it's gonna have an impact that we That we're pretending is gonna happen. I don't think so either. It's just gonna be like these men have gone too far. Yeah, I really. Some things don't need to be content, is what I think the message might be. That's understandable. I agree as well with that.
¶ Prostate Exam 'Scream Test'
Demographic's gonna change at the shows, fam after that. Liter literally scenario. Yes. Let's say for example Us five have gone, get our prostate checks. We're all 40 or 40 plus. And I'm the first one in considering I'm the oldest, they've done it by age. Fuhad, you're up, I stand up. Spudgy, man. Like, love, love. I'll tell you what it's like when I get back. Type shit. I'll be terrified. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm already terrified. I see you on the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So I'm there now. It's one of those ones where you can't see me, but you can see my silhouette in the in the s oh,'cause it's a glass pane. Right, yeah. Where it's it's it's you know them ones. You can see movement, but you can't see me. Yeah?
So you can see uh you can see that we uh me and the um doctor are talking, blah blah blah. Have you do you feel this, do you feel that, blah, blah, blah? Do you have this or do you have that? I'm just answering questions where you can't hear me, but you can see like my gestures my gestures and stuff. And then
You see me like you see me do all of that. You see me get on the bed, but you don't s all and then you see you don't see me anymore because of the how the the windows how the window looks, and then you just see the um the doctor. You see I do this with the gloves? And then she goes in and you just hear me scream. You just hear me scream. You just hear me scream, bro.
Do you wait for me to come out or do you dip? I'm obviously waiting for you to come out. Because I'll go I'll laugh. And then I'll make it clear I'm not going in there. But you're next. They say James, you're next. I'll be like nah. Bagoni. He'd say now, but then we'd calm it down, we're going in. I don't know. You screamed. I'll ask you what why were you screaming? Because it hurts so much. Yuck. Disgusting. Yuck. Freaking vice was tight. My bus is tight. Tight. My nod is tight. Yeah.
I've heard none. It's so Um I'll be disgusted. But then I'm living because if I go in and I don't scream, then I mean I'm gonna lose bait. That's jarring. Um So um what what did what was your question? Do you go in next? No. I think I but I have to at the same time. If I'm symptomless, completely symptomless, like my piss is strong, I can hold it for God knows how long. I have no dribble, all this all these telltale signs, I'll be like, Oh, there's
I was here for support anyway. Like I'm charging it, you man. And I'll come back at a time where I'm I'm curious or I'm like I'm I'm I'm concerned or whatever. I'm I'm not screaming for a formality. Did you ask us to come with you?
Next time? No no no, I know I've taken the best. Okay, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm glad you know that I'm not I've wasted all you're I'm well aware. Yeah, yeah, I'm aw I'm aware. You're going there at fifty, petrified. Oh a hundred percent. On your J's, bro. Yeah. And I've had ten years to remember that scream.
It haunts you every time you open the door. I I I really don't think I could do it. For a check. For them to because you better tell me I've got something wrong with me if you're gonna do that to me. You can't just do that to me and be like, all good. All good, fuck off. What was that for? To check. Nah bro. There needs to be a different way to check.
There is no other. And also like it's like when you press stake to see how rare it is, how qualified are you to see if my ting is enlarged or not? Because I feel like everyone's ting is different.
¶ Funny Tweets of the Week
Yeah, pretty qualified. Anyway, yeah, tweets. Sorry. Oh god, I did. Tweets of the week. Right. Next one. I blocked my ex's number. Now he's calling me off her phone. I blocked my ex's number. Now oh my God. Now he's calling me off her phone. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah, bro. Oh my god. Wow. Yeah, crazy. I might have read this one before, but it I saw it and it made me laugh again. says you bitches want a white boyfriend until you hear you like that fucking cock.
Oh my god. The word cock is two jokes. It's two god jokes. Cock and fanny. Sweet me. Right. Next. So there's a picture of it's a picture of Drake like this. He's sweet, yeah. It says. Me after liking the story of her dog instead of her in a bikini so she thinks I'm different. That's funny. Oh bro, bear man have been caught with that. Next. A gay girl tried to talk to me today and I told her I was straight. She said, spaghetti straight too, till it gets wet.
That's a bar, by the way. If I want to hit right above me like oh my god. Slow down, Shirley. That's a bar. Oh my god. Right. Last one. Mm. So it's uh just like a Tinder chat. Mm-hmm. And the girl's name is Faith. So the guy sends her a message and says, So how often do people do wordplay with your name? She says, Ha ha, a lot. He says, Love my ass off. I knew it. What's like the top three? I want to try beat it.
She says, Oh God, let me uh let me look. Hang on. She says, one, I need a little faith in my life. Two, I didn't believe in faith till now. Three, will you be my faith? I don't have any. He replies. Quotations. Mike Mike Tyson voice. Will you let me rub my balls across your face? I heard she off. Bro! That's genius! Nice and voice key. Bro, she has to love. Key. Would you let me fall across your face? You see it. Oh fuck! Across your face!
That's genius. Oh that's too funny. That's absolutely genius. Right. So I have I have a confession to make. God. I promised these men daddy fantasies today.
¶ Heated Rivalry Gay Romance Recap
But I had to do something else instead. Oh God. I spent my weekend doing something else as well. I watched half, I couldn't get through it all. Um, time-wise not. Any other reason. Uh I watched half of Heated Rivalry. Oh, the ice hockey gating. Yeah. Brother? Juice. It's juicy, but Jesus fucking Christ. Intense. Yeah. Oh. Uncomfortable intense? Um I'm not a bigot, so yeah. Oh uh but it's intense. Okay. There's a lot going on.
Yeah. Um scores are high, bro. 9.1 and 98. It's high. So anyway, yeah, random. You see on this image thing here, second row, the second guy in this Robbie Graham. He looks like Chris Empsworth a little. Bro. Craziest jawline you've seen on a brother. In a good way? Yeah, in a fantastic way. Okay. Insane jawline. Fair play. Random. Anyway. So I've watched like three episodes of it, yeah. Basically, it's about um two hockey players, a guy called Shane and a Russian guy called Ilya.
They play um when they're in like college and all this kind of stuff. And they're the two best ice hockey players in the country. Mm-hmm. So anyway. It comes to draft day. Um to get drafted for the uh NHL. Mm-hmm. And they both get drafted one and two. Ilya, the Russian guy, gets uh pick number one. Shane gets picked number two. Shane's livered about it. Of course. So they go into the NHL and they play each other every now and again. Mm-hmm. So
Eventually they're given they're there's a little bit of tension. But at this point there's no out Um, there's no gay hockey players that are out. So th these men are just playing it cool. Question Is this time period? Is there a specific time or is this like twenty twenty six? Oh, it's like twenty eleven or something like that. Okay. So anyway.
There's one day where Shane pulls up and he has a commercial to do and he's doing it with Ilya. And the NHL puts him against Ilya all the time in terms of Um, these are like the rivalries of the NHL. So that whenever they can add fuel to the fire, they will. So there's a commercial one day. And um
Red te Ilya says, When did you find out that you were gonna be doing this commercial with me? Shane's like, Oh like yesterday or some shit. When did you find out? And he was like, Oh, I didn't find out. I told him to to put you in. And Shane was like, What? That's random, bro. Why? And he was like, why not? He's like, all right, cool. Doesn't think anything of it.
They go and get changed after they've been obviously doing like tricks and shit all day for this commercial. They go and get changed, changed in the shower. Ilya just rocks up to in the change room, Ilya just rocks up to shower, starts getting showered as well. Mm-hmm. She's like, All right, cool. Um, whatever. Mm-hmm. Wash him, wash him, wash him, wash him. A couple of times gives him one of them. Mm-hmm. Ilya sees him looking. Turn some faces.
So this is episode one. This is probably like fifteen minutes into episode one. Jesus. So yeah, yeah. It's a tense. Yeah, it's a lot. Straight off the bat a lot. Yeah. They don't they don't waste time with fair pla build up. Yeah. Immediately. Helia turns and faces him, just ass naked. Shane's like, what are you doing, bro? Mm-hmm. He doesn't say a word. Sos stroking himself off. Says, nah, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. I'm not into that. Turns his back to him. Can't help but peek.
He turns back to him, can't help a peek over his shoulder. And he's just not here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not here, not here. Changed his mind. Yeah, but not here. Is he gonna need that?
So anyway, once they're dressed and all this kind of thing, anyone's about to walk up to Shane saying, like, if not if not there, then where? Are they the only two people in the change room at this time? Yeah, because they did a shoot, obviously. So anyone's walking up to my man, like, if not there, then where? Mm-hmm. Shane stops him and says, Before you carry on.
Forget what I said in there. Forget what I said in there. It's crazy. Man said, is it? Um, random. Big man saying, what room are you in? You're staying here tonight, right? He's like, Yeah, yeah. What were you in? Um, he was like, uh fourteen ten or some shit. He's like, Say less. So let's say nine o'clock, if I was to pull up and start knocking on the door, you answering or you you airing man? Mm-hmm. And he was like
Probably answering it. Is that sad? I'll see you later. I'll see you later. Bang on nine. Shayna opens the door. Og når jeg kan boste mig og tænke, og hva er det? Og jeg er nødvendig, og jeg er nødvendig, og jeg er nødvendig, og jeg er nødvendig, og jeg er nødvendig. Pins up against the wall door and lips says him. Shane gets on his knees immediately. Immediately. Oh my god.
Well I say Ellie's like he's about to bust immediately says stop stop stop stop stop stop stop stop Shane's never been with a brair before. This is his first time. So he's like, um was that not good? No, he was like, it was too good. Yeah, it was too good. Oh my. Yeah. I also think you'd done. So Shane is bicycle.
Shane, no, Shane's straight up gay, but he's never been with a bread because he's an ice hockey player. He doesn't want to okay, okay, okay, okay. And he has to just open, he's just down. He's damn, bro. Okay. Even though it's from Russia where they make a point saying that's that's forbidden. Okay. So anyway. Brings him to the bedroom. Every man sloppin' every man. Every man's slopping everyone.
And then Shane slops him off, Ilya nuts immediately. And then vice verse. Yeah. Nuts, nuts, nuts. Yeah. Everyone's gassed. All good. One thing I will say. When Ilya gives top, squeezing Shane's tits. Squeezing them. I was thinking, that's that's my bag. I didn't re realize that that was like a thing for the man. So fair play. That's my bag. Oh okay. So Anyway, next time, so basically, they're um
They have a little ting. Mm-hmm. And then whenever so he plays, Shane plays for Montreal. Ilya plays for Boston. Mm-hmm. And they're watching each other's career and they play each other frequently. So whenever they play, Ilya's like, Well gone. Well gone for tonight. There's another hotel thing. They go around, lips, lips, lips, lips, lips, illiot tells them immediately, get on your stomach. Shame rolls around and Ellie's like, uh, have you basically have you been clotted before? Yeah.
And then um Shane's like, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. And he's like, all right, cool, cool, cool. Let's take a breather. Mm-hmm and Shane's like, nah nah nah. He's like, No, it's fine to be nervous, like it's cool. Like, this is your first time. And he was like, Yeah, but I'm not scared. And he's like All right, calm down. Yeah. Like, well you're not telling me type thing. I said I've got a dildo, yeah.
I'm not scared. Okay. I was like, that's when I was up, rah. Okay. Ra. Okay. He's been practicing. He's he's been practicing, bro. Yeah, it was insane. Yeah. So long story short. When I say Ilya runs this br over. Oh god. Yeah. He clots the living Christ actually. How much do they show? Everything. No.
No. Don't tell me no. I've seen it. No. At least two times per episode. You're just seeing wood. Back. You don't see his actual wood, but you'll see up to his like gutters. Yeah. And you'll see him like Yeah. So from the from the rear you'll see their cheeks. Yeah, cheeks up. Okay. Yeah, she's arched. And it was he gets ragdolled. Yes, bro. Completely ragdolled. Are they straight in real life, by the way? I'm not sure. I actually haven't looked into it.
'Cause I'm I I I don't know how to tap into if I'm an actor and I'm straight and I'm playing a gay role, I wouldn't know how to tap into such. Yeah, that bro, if then if they're if they're straight, they are really, really, really in the role. Because when I say these men go all I don't think so anyway. Ilya is shredded by the way. Yeah. Yeah, he's my body goal for 2026. Yeah, he's very shredded. So but yeah, sorry, continue. He has a um I'm surprised there.
Wonderful physique. It's nothing. If I'm fair enough, yeah. Wonderful physique. Um yeah, so anyway, he clots the living Christ out of Shane and then basically tells him to kick rock. This one is shade? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Quickly tells him, Yeah, get out. Not in dips. Yeah, not in dipped. So Shane feels like a little taut. Yeah, he's vulnerable. Yeah, so for two seasons straight.
He don't he doesn't bang Ilya again. Two NHL seasons. Two NHL seasons. Yeah, for two NHL seasons straight. Doesn't bang him again. I say Ilya's desperate for that wood. Desperate. Change is playing hard to get for time, bro. And they're texting each other all the time. When are you gonna let me hit? When you gonna let me hit? I need that. I need that throat. I need this. I need that.
Shane doesn't let him get anywhere near him. So then um when he finally gets his hands on him, they're in Vegas. When he gets his hands on him, They basically I think if they're doing like uh I think it was like uh MVP awards or whatever. Ilya gets MVP. So he says, Oh, now you got MVP. He's wham, bro. Yeah, he is. Um I uh Ilya gets MVP and says, My treat, basically says my treat is I'm gonna rock rock you tonight.
So Shane's to Shane. You said the Shane. My treat for beating you, because they're the two best players in the league. Okay, cool, cool, cool, cool. Because I beat you, I'm rocking you tonight. Shane's like, fuck's sake, fine. Okay. Bro, goes to Ilya's room that night in Vegas. Ilya pulls up a chair, sits down, says, tell Shane to get into bed, sits there, drink in hand, and says, Gone in. And he's like, what? And he was like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
On a dharma. Yeah, hit him on a dharma. Touch yourself now. Don't want to see something. Fair. Brother, when I say Shane gets in character, spreads his legs, eye contact, goes. Ilya can't take it now. I said, Ilya can't take it anymore, pins his knees down. I said, Oh my god. Pins his knees down, bro. You see the angle, his knees are here. Oh my god. I said, oh my god.
Rocked him. Oh my god. Rocked him, bro. Rocked him. I couldn't believe it. Wow. Then it happens again. Ilias like, get out, man. Get out. Oh. Yeah. Shane's like, all right, cool. I'm leaving. Type Yeah. I uh it's okay. No worries. I'm leaving. Um like are we gonna see each other again? And he's like, I don't know, bro. And then um he goes, Shane goes to text him after said we didn't even live.
Speak. Yeah, speak. He didn't even kiss me. Oh, he just wants to nut. He just wants to nut. And every time he nuts in him, C and C B bro peep. PNC. P and C Ilya gets every time he classes, bro, is nuts. Wow. And that's where I'm at so far. I have a theory. Yeah. I have a theory that. Ilya, because obviously Ilya is the Russian brother, right? Um in Russia he's got a girl. He does have a girl, a little mixy tank. Yeah, he's got a girl. So That's a good theory. How did you guess that?
Just by how you're taking bro, he's got a girl. Um he clots her, but he doesn't really love clarting her. So then he has the chance and the power to clart a brief, i.e. this um what's his what's his name? Shane. Shane, when he gets to clart Shane, the power trip of it is like I'm going to Have my foot. Yeah, when I'm done.
Dip. Yeah. Because I don't want any trace because obviously back home this is forbidden. My girl doesn't know. 100, bro. So yeah. 100, yeah. That's a good as a good theory because you have this thing here is his drawn. Okay. Um
It's pretty. Yeah. It's peak though, man. I'm I don't know where I spoke to my brother earlier. He's watched the whole thing. He said it ends quite abruptly. But there's like six episodes, no? Yeah, it's quick thing. But then it um the where I'm at right now, episode three. The guy that said is um He's got a strong jaw. They've done a sideline story. One of the other hockey players who used to be on Shane's team, also gay, but in the closet. Mm-hmm.
He's got a ritual to so basically he gets like a um he goes to get like a strawberry smoothie from this random place and then the guy with the strong jawline is the server at the strawberry place. And then that that night, homeboy has a game, plays out of his mind. So now he says every single game that needs to come back to the strawby place. And they say they're flirting. They're flirting. And there's a journey in the back that's watching needs my flirt. So every time the hockey player leaves.
The server will be like Okay. Did you? What I saw, yeah, and she's like, Bitch, I saw the whole thing. He's like, Am I crazy or whatever? He's like, No, no, no, no, he was talking to you on a first name basis, and then where I stopped watching was basically. Hockey player was at an event. Server was working part-time for a catering company that was carrying that event. They bumped into each other and they're like, oh shit. Hockey player says, do you want some Mexican food afterwards?
He's like, Yeah, bet. So they walk to Mexican place, it's busy, busy, busy. Yeah. The guy's like, It's charged, isn't it? Hockey play says, Shall we order in? Punchline King. Yeah, Punchline King. So they where I stopped it, they walked into his yacht. Yeah. And I know he's about to run him over. Again. Yeah, when I say these man don't waste time with pleasantries. Fuck, five. Bang me or get off my case.
They're men, after all. You know what I mean? It's men on men, bro. They just understand. They know the motive. Yeah. What's all this romance, bro? Yes, crazy. It's a very crazy show. It sounds like it. It's a very, very crazy show, and I'm intrigued to see like because there's a lot of like undertones of like.
This is not undertones of like it's not okay to be gay in in the Hockey League. So like the whole hidden, hidden, hidden. Ilio pushes the boundaries though. He's always lips and shame in public. Shane hates. He can't fucking stand it. Um, so yeah, I mean, she's where it goes, but good lord, they don't waste time, bro. Interesting, someone gets banged immediately.
Immediately. Interesting. Yeah, that's that's what I was watching instead of reading the book I should have been reading. All right, say less. Say this.
¶ Bizarre But True Facts
You got a thread to finish? Uh yes, I do. Um, so I saw this thread on Instagram. Um, more insane facts that sound fake but are true. Ooh, okay. Yoda and Miss Piggy were both voiced by the same person. Makes sense. Why does it make sense? Actually it doesn't make sense. I would have thought Yoder and Kermit would make more sense. Okay. Oh fair enough. Um a blue whale's fart bubble is large enough to hold a horse. That's disgusting. There was a bear named Wojtek, um who enlisted in a Polish army.
Who would uh drink and carry weapons on the front line. Whoa. That's scary. Rosa Parks was alive long enough to watch Shrek. That one spun me. I bear. That one spun. I imagine Rosa Park's from BA today. Yeah. She did all that and then just was vibant afterwards. Google Rosa Park, please. There must have been. Do you know? I wonder how many times.
After Rosa Parks was Rosa Parks. 20, 2005. Damn, bro. Bro, there must have 1913. How old was she? 92. Fair play. Bro, how many times do you think like there how many times? From when she was doing the busting to 2005, how many times do you think she had to give her ID over? And people read Rosa Park. V Rose? Yeah, surely not. Yeah. I don't yeah, it can't be. Coincidental name. Mm.
Probably bear, you know. Yeah. And people all the times where people are like, Are you the Rosa Parks? And I'd be like, Yeah. I would have been like, What's going on? It's 98. Yeah, yeah. The Matrix is out. Yeah, fu what are you on about? What are you on about? The Rosa Parks. Like there's studies done on you and you're still alive. It doesn't make sense. Yeah, that's crazy. People will learn about you in history. Wow, that is nuts. Mental, mental.
All right, next one. I've got two more. Um barcode scanners scan the white bars, not the black ones. That's that's that's trippy. That can't be true. That's trippy. Whoa. Yeah. Trippy. Uh Philadelphia cheese uh Philadelphia cream cheese is made in New York. It has nothing to do with Philadelphia. I didn't even put two and two together anyway. Uh I think this one we know. Uh Genghis Khan killed so many people that he actually called the entire planet.
Cooled. Called. I didn't know that. Why was he on so much? Like Genghis. He wanted to rule the world. Yeah, I know, but why do you have to kill so many people? To rule the world. To rule the world. You've asked your question, to rule the world. So people can fall in line. On a sing. Yeah, I wonder where he got his, for lack of a better term, motivation. Because you're not born this way. There's a I've told you before, there's a movie called
What is it called? I'm pretty sure you said Mongol. There's a podcast about this as well. Oh, there's a uh Dan Carlin's Horrible histories is a a good one. But there's a there's a there's a movie called Mongol with Genghis Khan. Um and it shows his like come up. It's pretty good.
¶ Drunk Podcasting Reflections and Outro
Yeah, it's pretty good. Never even heard of it. Yeah. I had it on D V D as a kid for some random reason I think my stepdad just had it in the house. Mm-hmm. Yeah. God, I like podcasts in with a drink. Same. It just makes things loose here, isn't it? It's easy, man. I feel like If this was to be not necessarily a regular thing, but a thing, we should take the time out and do it at like 6 p.m.
As opposed to being drunk during the day. Obviously being drunk during the day is is the worst thing going. So I agree with you. But logistically it logistically it's bullshit. Unless maybe we have like unless we can plan it where it's like'cause sometimes guests wanna come in later in it. So if we have a guest episode and then T books in a normal episode after that, guest comes in at like four or five and then we just all right, we're gonna do another episode after
Get the drinks out. Let's have a time. Yeah. Maybe. Maybe lit the mite lights a little bit dimmer. Maybe change these babies to red. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right. Right, guys, we're gonna charge it there. This was a fun episode. This was a fun episode. First uh drinky drink episode of twenty twenty six. This was it made a difference, boy. In literally seconds. It it was burning my throat. Bro. As it was going down. Pause. Yeah, literally. So anyway, guys, uh love. Gang.
