Hi, guys. Hi guys, guys. Hi, it's Mail and Monty. Hi y'all.
Hi guys, thanks for listening. If you're new to the podcast, I'm Monty and Melo's over there. And if you're a longtime listener or a new time listener, whatever, thanks for joining us. Guys.
Hey, so we don't have a pool at our house? Do you have a pool?
Mal No, which is just revisiting the fact that I've never, in the twelve years i've known Mail been to a house.
Never once. No, I wouldn't know if you've got a pool or not. No, that's right, but so weird. I know it is so weird. But also, let's be really stick, would you ever have come, you wouldn't have It would have been like too inconvenient for you. Prober drive would have been too long. I always came to your house.
We did always record at my house. Yeah, but you never said, hey, guys, can we record at mine this day? Okay, So anyway, I'm not going to force myself onto your house anyway, I digress. So we don't have a pool, so we really use the most of the town pool. We go to the town pool a lot, which is like, yeah, a.
Lot like Odie's every day. Can't go to the town pool. It's like a country pool. It's awesome. Oh, just the old style. Is it outdoor outdoors?
Yeah, with the grass down the side, the nice pool of water, and it's just it is a vibe.
It's always diving blocks at the end, yes, the diving box at the end. Yeah.
So it's really cool. And then there's hot chippies there you can buy like it's it's a great, great, great doubt for all.
Anyway, So Sam.
Took Ody the other day. I should be an ambassador for the local pool. Sam took Odie down there the other day. And when I say we go to the pool, I never go. I've been like once. Sam always takes Odie and he gets home and he's like, guess what was in the pool today?
Oh God, is this a turd?
Not wasn't a turd, but my another note. The other day Sam took him a different time, Odie and then he comes home he goes, guess what, mum, there was a shit in the pool.
This is my four year old. And I was like really, and Sam's like, I just told him that so we could leave. Because he wasn't like.
That'senus anyway. So Sam did think it was a pool in the pool, and then he's like, everyone's gathered around it was a baby brown snake in the pool.
God, that must have been a big pooh.
I don't know baby brown's they're not that big. And do you know how the baby browns are the most venomous. I'm like, oh my god, imagine you were swimming and you knocked into the baby brown.
This is a stupid question, a bimbo question. But snakes can survive in water, like a lot of them.
A lot of them are water snakes, yes, and they can swim like often they'll go in and have a swim I think. I mean, I don't know. I don't know if they all do, but a lot of them do swim. Yes, they got across the water.
Is there a lifeguard on Judy at this pool?
So the lifeguard had to get the like a net and scoop it up in the net and then put it in a bin with the lid onto wait and then called, you know, some nature people to come and get it. I am like, that to me is terrifying. I've told you this story before.
But they're in Brighton Victoria. It's so beautiful there. It's all country and they've got like big damn kind of things you can swim in. Anyway. This is a friend's friend. But she was swimming from one side of the dam to the.
Other, like doing laps back and forward, head butted a snake that was coming in the opposite direction.
This is why I don't like nature. Yeah, Nature's fucked. There's too many things that can hurt you out there.
Yeah, especially here, Like we're just non for the spiders and the snakes. Like I feel like that's all people know. They think we ride kangaroos to school and we've just got the most hectic wildlife, which isn't half wrong.
No, that's true. We have at the moment this real I don't know what it is, but this real influx of daddy long legs yuck in the house. It's really shitting me. But someone said to me once, don't kill them because they keep the other spiders away, because you know how you know that thing that you Oh my god, I knew it.
Whenever anyone says the daddy long legs, I know what you're about.
So you do it? Can you do it? In the voice you know that I don't know what the voice is. But you know the Daddy long Do you know that they're the dead loves animal. Yeah. They are the most venomous of the spiders. It's like, but their their little prongs are too.
Thin or whatever that they can't get you, but they can obviously get other spider.
They can get other spiders. Wow. Yeah, So now I'm like, okay, keeping them is. I can deal with them.
I'm just not partial to any spider. But I mean, a Daddy long legs doesn't bother me. Like if I saw one in my room, I wouldn't. If I saw a huntsman, I would hands down get it out. If I saw a Daddy long legs in the corner, I would get it when I could be bothered if at all.
I found one squished under my pillow, shut up. No. And and also i sleep with my head in between two pillows, so I've got like the pillow that I rest my head on, and then I have to have another pillow over my head, right Yeah. And I was making the bed, it was like, I don't know what the fuck I must have done to that thing during the night, because it was like the body was here and then all the legs were in different spots. I must have had my hand under there, and so dismantled
little decapitated, poor little thing. So, in keeping with the tradition of the rental Rave segment, I can't be because you.
Bring up a segment every week. Let's make this a regular segment. You have done rant or Ray for a few weeks now a couple anyway, maybe when I'm.
Continuing on so Rave. I've got a couple of really affordable skin care products okay that I'm really in to at the moment. One you can get from Amazon. It's just sulfur. It's the brand is Dela Cruz. It's like you'd know it if you saw it. It's like an old school thing. Everyone goes on about the smell of it. It doesn't even smell that bad to me. You know, sulfur. It's like it's meant to be that smell of rotten eggs. You know, you go to those sulfur pools or whatever.
They meant to be good for your skin. Okay, right, but it's like a paste that say if you get breakouts or for me, I have recently discovered I have roseasia. Oh right, So that's like different like red, red, blotchy kind of skin. Yeah, well it's that I think, like there's different kinds of roseasia. But for me, I think it's that the capillaries sit really close to the top of my skin anyway, So you put you just put it on like a mask for a bit and then
like to say, ten minutes, wipe it off. But it really makes a difference, like like what Dewey or gets rid of the roseaisha or I think it calm down the redness of the rose asia. But also if you have a breakout, I can put it on the breakout, leave it. I mean, don't use it constantly, like twice a day because it's drying on your skin. But it's really good. It's natural, like it's you know, not that I give a shit about whether it's natural or not,
but I like chemicals. Yeah, yeah, same. And also this is a brand that's just launched at my favorite shop in the whole world, chemist Warehouse. Yes, it's called Skin one thousand and four, right, beautiful packaging.
A beautiful glass bottle with a little what do you call those pet a dropper, a pepet a.
Perpet That's what us in the beauty pet. I did not know it was a prepare. It's called a prepet. Wow. Anyway, it's just a serum, but it's Sentella, which again is really good for rose Asia. So I just put it on in the morning after my seventy five other serums, and I just and it just again, it's sort of like, I don't know, it's like a drink. It's a drink. Drink, you know, sometimes your skin just feels really hot. Yeah, like my skin feels hot sometimes, just does it? No,
mine never feels hot. That's a hot flush. No. I think it's very different. I've always been like that. And I also get like, as I'm getting older, my nose is red all the time. Oh, is it because it's cold or no? Well, no, because we're in summer so no. Yeah, but I know it was like eleven degrees in Melbourne the other day. Oh, I mean, I don't know if it was eleven. Who told you eleven? It was eleven in Ballarat in Victoria? Okay, maybe at Ballarat at six am maybe. And my last thing, I did a little
video of it looking like a real dickhead. But yes, you did see satin bonnets. I've got this other one that's like a it's like a shower cap. Oh my god. It's just for you know, like if you've got I've got frizzy hair. Yes, it just keeps that friction from your pillow. I've got a satin pillow. Okay, so I used to of course.
Wow, so you wear those bonnet Do you wear that bonnet every night?
Yeah? Pretty much. I mean you did question me. You did send me a text, Oh my god, do you bone with the bonnet on? I don't.
Oh, well, because it was a Valentine's Day thing saying that's true love that your husband does it still.
Finds you beautiful with the bonnet on. Look, I don't think I used those words well around a beautiful. But what I was saying was he doesn't give a shit, no, and that is absolutely true love. But the bonnet is this big buff on thing. It's not like a little baby shower cap. It's like a big ass shower silky shower cap. Yeah, okay, were they're your beautiful raves? My rants?
Oh oh, my rant is a sort of HARKing back to another little segment I did about like, you know, how I come up with these invention ideas that I think are incredible, like a pretty tissue box cover, Like a tissue box cover that's designed by an artist. It looks great in your home. Yea. Anyway, genius, So one of those things, if you remember. Maybe I didn't say it because I wanted to get a patent on it. But one of my husband's pet hates is when he
uses his electric shaver fucking cleanup of the hair. I'd said, I can't believe no one's come up with a shaver that has a catcher like a lawn mower. Yeah, it's the hearing so there's no mess everywhere.
Yes, yes, I've been going like you have talked about this because you wanted it with nail clippers as well.
Oh no, no, no, I bought ones that are meant to work like that with the nail clippers. Look, I mean it has to be on a particular angle. That's why I still can't visual. That's why it came back to that. But I've been going on about this for years, and my husband keeps saying, no, you couldn't, No, you couldn't come move anyway. The other day, my daughter comes in and she goes, oh, you know your idea about the the Razor. I said, yeah, she goes, someone's done it.
I said, what you can buy them? I was heartbroken. It was dirty on Mark that night too. I'm like, see, we could have been fucking billionaires because you pooh poohed my dream. That one. The second one I have not. I've said to you privately, but I've not said publicly. I had this idea. Maybe not revolutionary, but for me, it was a great idea. Yeah, an idea of doing a book of short stories about what is in people's
wank bank. Ah, right, So people would anonymously send an email, right, but a basic rundown of you know, what their wank bank shit is, and then I'd write it. Because everyone's got different things that they like or whatever. And I thought, oh, that's a good idea. So it'd be like a sexy book, really sexy book, but just with submissions from people. So say like, oh, you know I my fantasies. I don't know, fuck the gardener on the front lawn in front of
the neighbors. Yes, they give me a loose plot and then I'd write it. But I didn't do it because I'm an ideas woman. Anyway, Yes, you beat me to the punch, Abby Chatfield. No, Jillian Anderson, what a scully wax bols. That is very bizarre. I would never in a million years have guessed that.
If you were making me hang off a bridge and you're like, you're going to die if you don't get this right, I couldn't have got it.
I know she's written a book called well, she hasn't written it. People have submitted again like they're fantasies. It's called want and it's just people that have sent in what their wank bank material is. I guess, wow, what a sha fucking Jillian Andersen has beaten me to the punch. So that's my rant to follow. It's fair enough.
That's frustrating, But maybe next time you get the idea, explore it a bit more and then just execute it unless it's a colored artist's tissue box.
I just want to make money. I just come up with an idea to make money that.
Just does it itself. Passive income. That's everyone's stream. Everyone just wants an idea that they don't. They can just tinker on it to start with, and then it just influx of cash.
I still want to work. I don't have any shoe working. I like working, and I need to work, but just the pressures off.
Oh god, it be just glorious if you looked in your bank account and you're like, oh, we didn't have to do anything because we'd already set that up and now there's just an extra thirty k in there every month.
No, you know what, I'd be happy just enough to pay the mortgage that my mortgage is covered by that.
Yes, and the rest is you know, and then the rest is you're not mortgage money. That would be fantastic. Speaking of like cash, I'm doing a lot of Facebook market placing at the moment for stuff. I hate that place so much. I feel dirty every time I get on.
Under how it works, well, you just get on.
You can put an item up, put an amount of money on there, and then people will message you if they want it or vice versa. You type in what you want and then the listings will come up and you're getting like the person. So anyway, I hate it when people haggle on Facebook marketplace, like it drives me mad. I put up a couple of the boys wetsuits for sixty bucks each, like they're two hundred dollars wetsuits that have barely been worn, and then people will go, will you accept fifty.
Five for it? And I'm like, you fucking idiot, it's up for sixty.
Like I get that it's a part of Facebook marketplace, is It's like, well, you can just like go in and you can try and get a bargain. But when it's five dollars off, I'm like, you should be embarrassed about yourself and out of prince Ball, I'm like, nope, sorry. Anyway, They've been up there for over a year now and I haven't sold quite a few people have been quiet. But the other day I felt dirty because I did it to someone. I asked for fifty bucks off something.
Fifty bucks is a bit different to five. Yes, that's what I thought. I'm like, can I ask fifty bucks less? And I felt exhilarated but disgusting at the same time, And I thought, for your own self worth, please knock me back, Like please, just but guess what I was bidding on what I was asking for? Okay, I feel like it. Was it a piece of furniture? Yes? Was it like a like a side table or something? No, don't tell me. It was a bed mattress? I I
I could never. I know, I wouldn't say, like if I had two, I would, but a second hand mattress, yes, crook.
So anyway, they sold me because it was a really good mattress.
I could tell from it. I googled the brand.
It was like a seven hundred and fifty dollars mattress that they had for two fifty and I asked for two and I can pick up the next day. Anyway, it had been in their spare room and only used a handful of time, and that sold me, like I would know. But it was squeaky clean, tickety boo, and I'm like, this is gonna save me a lot of money. And I gave it a crack and then she's like, no, sorry, it's sold. But now a friend said, oh, we're getting rid of our king single.
Do you want it? And I said, yeah, I do. So it's not as gross to take a friend's secondhand bed. That's different. Yeah, it's different. But I always am like, we sleep in hot hotel beds, and that's thousands of people have slept in those, like thousands, that's true. But that makes me feel a bit icky too.
Oh, it makes me feel so iky sometimes. Room and I'm like, I wonder if anyone's killed themselves in here.
Oh, also, like the remote, the light switches. I usually take, Like this is so fucked. I usually take like Glenn twenty with me, and just do you take a whole bottle of Glen twenty. I thought you might take a baby wipe and wipe stuff down, not a Glenn Twain. Maybe wipe's not going to get rid of germs. It's just gonna like you wipe down whatever's on the surface. But I'm just like, think of even sitting on the couch. Yeah, people have probably fucked on hard. It's just yuck.
That just shows you and I to a t. You're like, people have probably fucked on here, and I go to fart on here.
At the exact same time. So fun. God, it's so disgusting.
Yeah, So I just I just I'm like it was a bit grossed out. But also I'm like, that's such a bargain. But we've transitioned Odie from a cot into a bed. Yeah, well, I feel like it's about it's about time. This kid's four and he's still in a cot because I just don't trust him to get in and out all the time. So I'm like, nah, he's gonna be in there till seven.
It was a big, beautiful cot. It's almost sad. It was sad.
It was like it's a piece of art that cought like one of those round ones. And I got a contract ages ago through Show and Tell, like over four years ago, and it had beautiful perspects and I'm like, glory, glory days. This is when this was like the feature piece of his room. So I got rid of it, and I don't have the new bed from the friend yet, so he's literally got a wisp of thin mattress on the floor, yeah, with pillows around it, and but he's
just fuck mate. The sleep deprivation from that kid is so hectic. I can't I've never had a bad sleeper, and this kid is a bad sleeper. Like a sleeping for him is five. And if we can get through the whole night, that's rare. Like the other night, he's up at two thirty demanding WHEATBX, so Sam's up with him for an hour, giving him WeetBix at two thirty to three thirty.
But like I think, and also this is annoying because what I'm about to say is like advice someone gives when they're not in the when they're through it, Yes, right, but I would say, okay, he wants the WHEATBX. It's so hard. But it's like he then just thinks he can fucking get up at two thirty. You can't ask for weatpix. But then I know that you're just fucking in survival mode too.
This kid, though, there's no way you can say if we said not to me, he'd just scream the house down. And our walls are literally paper thin that when he calls out, the other boys wake up.
So it's like you just got to do it. Is he too old for like a sleep I think he's four now?
And I said, Sam, remember when we got one for backs? Sorry, remember when we got one for backs backs before? And he started to get out of his bed all the time and keep coming in constantly and it was driving his mad. So we got this sleep instructor, this sleep coach. And I look back and I'm like, that would have traumatize that fucking kid. It was like a hole the door shut.
I know, don't mal I feel so fucked. Oh he wouldn't even remember it, but that's fucked. And the behind his door was that chipped and everything from him throwing toys out, screaming don't it's abuse. It was hideous.
And then I'd have to go stand at the door and go it's okay, buddy, like but time it like every five minutes, I'm here, mate back into bed to be like a caged animal, because he was probably fucking scared and.
Just wanted his parents. But that's on, Like, your intention to that was to help him. That person, a sleep trainer, whoever it was, that's it. They're doing a real disservice. They should know better, They should know the psychology of children better than to do that. I tell people that's a good And when you're so sleep deprived, though, and you go to an expert who a lot of friends had used her before, but for younger kids, you just trust.
Them, you know what I'm like. Anyway, it got him out of it. He just only took a few nights and he was back in his bed because he was just probably so cooked and like, fuck, they're gonna lock me in my room. Oh my god, it's so hideous. I feel terrible, You know what, don't feel terrible. We're all doing shit to fuck him up. Somehow I know. I'm like, what are we gonna do? What is the thing that they're going to be talking about to their psych when they're older.
Nah, he won't even remember that. Does he ever bring it up? No?
Never, And I haven't brought it up. But I'm like, that's why I won't get a sleep instructor for Odie. I also know, like when we got one when he was a baby and she's like, you know what, some kids are just untrainable. He's just never been trainable. It zero fuck's that kid.
One day we will be recording in another ten years and he will have completely flipped. He'll be your best sleeper. He'll be the one that you'll have to drag out totally. Yeah.
I'm like, when it's going to get to the point where all of my boys are early risers though, when I'm like, get out of bed, just try and get them out of bed.
But he's so awesome. The other day he goes, how's this? So he's so naught? He goes, get me a mango or I'll hit you. I was cute. What he's just in that stage, I'm fucking hungry. I'm like, okay, let's get just cute, Oh my god, so funny. Same.
All right, we're out of here. Thank you for listening. We love you guys and appreciate you listening. If you can share our potty with a friend or give us a rating, it's super helpful and we'll chat to you soon.
Of child love you is, and that a