Where is my lasagna?

It's a chronic time, the time of day where you put your headphones on and listen to us talk about sick shit.

It will make it really fun and interesting. We promise it fun.

There'll be a bit of fun in there too. It is brook and Monty. We both have chronic health issues. I've got migraines, chronic fatigue pots. Brookie, you've got ms.

Yeah, yeah, chronic. It's a smorgasbord of fun, Morgas mord between us.

We've got a lot of shit going on, and if you're listening, obviously you do too, or you've got a family or a member or friend that does as well.

So welcome and thanks for listening.

Speaking of people that have a lot going on, I wanted to talk to you about something because I went recently to Jamilla Ribsby and Rosie Waterland's book launch. They have launched this book called Broken Brains. It's I mean, I've just started reading it and it is so good life so good already, like so candid and raw and vulnerable, but funny as well. But it was really interesting because there's the first chapter in the book Rosie talks about and she talked about this that the book launched too.

Such a great idea, it really is.

It's so good.

And Rosie was talking about the fact that she when she started writing the book and she read Jam's first chapter, she was very much like, shit, I wish I had a brain tumor. And she wrote that in the first chapter, like I wish that I actually had a brain tumor, because then I could say, here, see this is what's wrong with me, because what Jamilla has is so much

Care, because that's the truth.

And it just straight away took me to this conversation that I feel like we have quite a bit too, where you will often say, oh, but you've got it worse because you've got a mess, And I do not think that at all, like, not even for a second, And It was so interesting because Jamilla was like, Jamilla said the same thing, and she said, I like, I don't know how Rosie does what she does and lives with everything that she lives with.

And I couldn't. I couldn't do that.

I actually would not take her illness over what my illness is.

And I thought that is so interesting.

And I want to tell you that, and I hope that it validates you because you often kind of played off like it's not a big deal, and it is like it is massive, and I just want you to know that it is valid and you should never feel like it's not shit.

I'm going to cry already.

I'm sorry.

No, I just like, oh, honey, I just I'm not having a great day. My head's not very good. And I was like, no, I don't want to if I'm.

Like, like, you know, I have days where I can't get out of bed with my migraine. But if I can get out, I thought, no, I'm going to record today when I'm I sometimes think like we're very real and honest in this podcast, but sometimes I think we sound really up as well. Yeah a lot of the time, but sometimes you and I are like, oh god, was

It just feels on a difference, but it's actually it's just really not. It is just so not And I haven't had a lot of mental health issues in my life, and since my diagnosis, I have like experienced some anxiety only recently, and it is awful, like so so awful. And if I had to feel like that all the time every day, I don't know how I could do that. I don't know how I could function.

It's all reality busin it, I know, but you do compare points and just Rosy saying that though like for her to say, I wish I had a brain tumors, as jarring as that is, and how fucked it is. Sam has occasionally said to me sometimes I wish what we were dealing with is cancer, because people know where to put it, people know to do for people because.

It's it's known. Do you know what I mean?

But when you're living with a chronic invisible illness, people don't know where to put it. You don't know where to put it yourself. There's people don't know how to help you. But it's almost when you've got this clear cut thing that everyone knows and even and he's like more so for doctors, like so there's a path, you've got this, this is what we're doing, this is the treatment we're doing. You've got somebody in control. When you've got an illness, it's a chronic illness that so many

It's true.

It's true.

And you have mentioned that before too, Lack. You know, if you had a broken I don't know, broken arm or you know that no big but yeah, people could see that there's something wrong with you and then they know how to act accordingly. Whereas Rosie was saying, this was really sad. Actually it made me like really sad

I don't know, but like I guess a health rehab kind of place.

Yeah, and she was, you know, not in a good way.

And so Jamilla went to visit her and they were both talking about their situations, and Jamilla was talking about how the amazing support that she's been receiving from people around her, and she said something like I think I've got eleven lasagneas in my freezer at the moment, and Rosie said, I have never once been given a lasagna.

Totally, or people it's not they're uncomfortable, or if somebody is like, do you want me to make you a meal?

I'm never gonna go yes, yeah, I hate that, but like we're a new body, but you never want to say, actually, yeah, i'd love you to make me a spaghetti pilonise for to day.

No. But that's where that's when Sam comes into it, and he's like, that's people would know. We need you to bring us fucking meals. We need this, we need that, this is what we're going through. But even though yeah, and even saying it, I feel guilty because I don't wish that upon myself. But at the same time, we do need that support often, but people don't know how to give it, and you don't know how to ask for it.

It's just the reality of it.

And sometimes you don't want to like sometimes I might No, We're fine, because it fluctuates day to day.

Yeah.

Of course, Jamella had this really great thing that she said that she like her circle do with her, which I thought was so cool. That when she's like having a you know, a really tough wig while she's in hospital or something, her friends will say, Okay, so I've got two hours free on Wednesday, I could do a I could come to your house and make you a tea and blah blah, or I could come over and do your washing. Or I could make you dinner and

And whatever else, Like, really, if you were able.

To send the you know, send them that message and say choose, I'll be there in this afternoon, like that was amazing.

Yeah, that's a really good idea actually, so yeah, get onto that. But then I also go, oh, I should be doing more for my friends too, like you never do, you know what I mean?

And I don't know.

It's just tricky.

I guess everyone just does the best they can. But it is also people don't know sometimes what to do or But yeah, it's interesting, isn't it.

I'm sorry you're having a shitty day. I wish I could make you lillasign ye, but you're so far, so far away.

You know what.

Caatelinebrook sent me crapes once, crapes crapes. She was in Melbourne and she's always used to drop black things like pancakes and stuff off at.

My door when we used to live in Melbourne.

She said, I'm going to send you some and they were in on a dish on the pancakes and then they were wrapped in like foil, wrapped in tea towels. They arrived within that like the next day. She expressed posts them. They were fantastic. Oh god, they got alban to Byron and my family and I ate them and we it was like the funniest thing that had ever happened because we never thought these crapes would make it and be edible, but they were.

I guess when you think about it, like meal delivery services and delivering meals every day from Sydney to Melbourne and all over the place.

Yeah, it was pretty funny.

And if they don't send me crapes or don't send meal as honey, I thank you, But really I.

Was just going to organize a lasagnia. Well wait anymore?

Oh no, thank you, thank you though. Hey, so last time we chatted. Everyone who listened to our last podcast will be like, oh my god, what's the update with Brooke. So last time we recorded, after we were finishing, you were going to go and see your neurologist and get some test results from quite a big test that you a blood test that you were having because you had had a bit of a flare up with MS. But they couldn't see anything new on your brain. Is that explaining it right?

Yeah?

Yeah, it's a new test that they're doing here in Australia. They've been doing it overseas for years. It's pretty amazing. It can look at like the amount of disease on your brain and the likelihood of progression and how quickly it's likely to progress. So it's pretty amazing, and they thought it would be good for me to do that because.

I've had I haven't had a great run.

Firstly, I get and you know, some people might relapse like once every ten years, or some people just like don't relapse at all, And I've kind of had a relapse in the last three years, like every few months. I would say some of those times, you like, the neurologist would expect that there would be a new lesion on the brain or she'd be able to see something like an enlarged lesion that was already there or something, and a couple of times she hasn't been able to

Right, So you were waiting for those results back and when we chatted you know.

I said, how do you feel? And you said that you think everything will be okay.

No, I don't get upset. Don't you get upset, and then I will.

Anyway, I didn't hear from you. I didn't want to keep hassling you. But it got later that night and I'm like, Chookie, just.

Let me know when you die.

Gosh.

A new wrote, so results not great, pretty shit. Actually, she said the number is really high, she said. She said it should be a route about five and it's twenty. It's progressing too fast.

She said.

It means that now she knows there is a lot going on that they can't see on the scans, that there are lesions there we can't see and can't be picked up on the scans. Maybe they're too small or in tricky places. She'll let the stem cell lady know and said to call her tomorrow and follow up for an appointment. And in the meantime she wants to have monthly st with treatments.

Yuck.

Anyway, it is what it is, so much for my positive thinking. Then you took a few days to dissect and you started a new fucking.

I started my new job. I'm married at first sight. Bloody love it. I'm obsessed. I love it, everything about it and everyone.

That you love it.

So you get this result, you have a few days to think about it. Then you jump into a full on job that's going to be like a three month stretch of working on married at first Sight, which is fucking epic. And now we're podcasting again. So where's things at?

So yeah, I guess I don't know.

I think that when I was talking to you about it, I felt pretty sure that it would it would be fine, Like it wouldn't be anything to be worried about. And if that were the case, then I could just kind of keep going on doing the treatment that I'm doing and I wouldn't really have to change too much. But yeah, it's it is quite high. So now it's real. It's a waiting game basically again. Now just have to wait.

You know. I come out of these.

Things pretty quickly, so I feel like, Okay, now I feel like what will be will be, and I have no control of it, any of this. So I feel like I'm doing all the right things. I feel like I'm doing everything I can. And I did say that. I did say to Moneral, I just like, what can I do? Like what else can I do? And she was, you know, just like nothing, There's nothing that you can do. You're not doing anything wrong. It's just this is just

So I'm not thinking about it.

But I guess also, even though I really have not wanted to go down the path of doing the transplant, I also think if that were the option that they think I need to do, then I'm lucky at the same time, right, because not a lot of people get that opportunity to have this transplant. It's very strict on the criteria to get in it would be you know, I would be really lucky if I were to be able to do it. So I just am trying to focus on that.

Yeah, which is an amazing way to think about. Like what you could potentially looking at is fucking hard yaka, which we explained it all in the previous episode.

If your first time, it's.

The waiting, I don't know how you don't go fucking insane just with all of this waiting, Like you've got an appointment in a few weeks time to find out like how the next couple of years are going.

To look for you.

Yeah. Yeah, it's wild, isn't it?

And but you know what this is the this is a life of somebody with chronic illness, right, Like it is just you have your MRIs, whether it's like six monthly or three monthly or really and then you're just hanging waiting to see what happens and what the results are and like everybody has to go through the same thing and the same awful weight.

Yeah.

I mean, like I think back to like when I was doing IVF as well, and you have that two week wait where you are waiting to find out if the transfers work, and yeah, like a lot of people have that weight and it's yeah, it's hard and it's shitty, but you just, I think, have to keep busy or you drive yourself.

Yeah.

How perfect is the timing of this maths stint that you're doing.

Do you know what? Maybe this is like it's meant to be.

I'm like, because when you were about to take it on, I was like, this is a pretty big because it's three months intensive work, like ten hours a day. I'm like, how the fuck are you gonna do this? But now it seems like a blessing.

Yeah, I think so too. I think so too.

And you know what I did after, Like I had my first week and then I messaged you and I said, we're going to find I want you to be doing something exciting to take your mind off things as well. And I know it's not like it's you know, it doesn't work like that for everyone, and everyone's illnesses are differently and present differently and things like that. But for me, I think it's been really good and definitely come at the right time.

Because you do need another focus. This is the thing.

It dominates our life so much that if you don't have something else, it's really it's so all consuming anyway that then it's really hard to find an identity outside of this, where you go, I'm not all of this. But then when you don't have other little things going on, because even say, I podcast and my one with mals not linked to health, but even doing this, which I love, is still linked to.

Our help, you know what I mean.

Yeah, so I'm just craving a little something from the chronicness. Yeah, totally, something that's just not connected at all. And I think you've you've got that. You've jumped fucking headfirst into something full on. On a side note, do you get to know because I did? I never commit to Mass because it's so it's such a big commitment.

I know it's the show ever I love it. I can't get enough of it. It's big in my family.

Yes, I watched it when I was breastfeeding with Odie. That's what got me through breastfeeding. But then I'm like, I don't have seven nights a week. It's like a fifteen hour a week commitment to that show.

It's huge. Do you get to meet then?

Like?

What do you how close a you're going to get to.

The nitty gritty I don't know.

I mean, I'm not like out in the field doing like the producing like of the you know, like that there are producers that stay at the hotel where the couples are and they stay there for three months or however long it's being filmed. But you know, if you have a family and commitments, it's very hard to be able to do things like that. So I'm kind of in the pre production stage, which yeah, I'm loving. So I will get some goss, but I have my lips sealed.

Oh so exciting because you're going to know who the contestants are before everyone like does. You're going to know so much you're not going to tell you any how amazing is that concept though?

Yeah, like just phenomenal. And many of the couple still together.

Now, yeah, there's quite a few.

Yeah, like the Bachelor, there's quite a few bachelor couples where you go, there's no fucking chance this is going to work, but there's quite a few of them.

I've got a bachelor couple around the corner from me here in Avalon.

If you got Robarts, no.

I've got Holly Kingston and the pilot what was his name?

Do you remember?

No?

I lost interest in that.

Oh just see a lot of them have and Laura Burne and Maddie Jay are about to have their baby SNZ and Sam would have had sixty four babies.

We love them.

Yeah, good is the success story from a reality TV.

It's pretty cool.

Awesome, it's so cool, I think.

So all right, everyone, well we're going to get out of here. Thanks so much for listening. We love hearing from you. Any messages, send us voice notes, send us messages, any topics or if you just want to you know somehow. Yes, podcasts is where you can find us and we will be back soon.

You know what.

I know we just said goodbye, but I just thought, man, when we said like have a you know, have a winge, maybe we should do like a venting thing like people just like event, like if you want to just leave us a message and have a vent, you know, have you know, like like my friend doesn't understand blah blah.

What is like just like leave us a message and have a good vent.

Do it? Really love to hear it, Show and Tell Podcasts Bye for now,