It's our chronic with brook and Mounties today.
Brookie, I was just waiting for your beautiful tones.
I know it's dulcet tones.
I'm Monty and I have chronic fatigue, chronic migraines and pot syndrome.
God do you want to metal? I know I do it actually, and I'm Brooke and I have multiple sclerosis and chronic fatigue and indomititiosis and everything else.
Anyway, we'll start every podcast with that, just so if you knew, you know, all these girls are legit sitch. This podcast is all about chronic health because if you don't laugh, you'll cry, which we do plenty of boys anyway, So we love to hear from you guys. We want you to message our Show and Tell Podcasts is where you can find us on Instagram, and we want to hear any questions, any thoughts, anything like that. Hit us up and we'll get to one of your questions really soon.
But I just want to start chooking with my thirteen year old boy. BackStar is so into music.
Like all he does.
He's got this hoverboard which drives me fucking bonkers. He just hovers around the house with his headphones on singing, and it's so beautiful because it's a sign that he's happy when he's singing. But he's sing so loud that it does my head in. So I'll be trying to have a nap and I'll just hear him belting out a tune and I'm like, just let.
Him go any good. I'll let him right.
He can hold a tune better than me. But you know when it's just like I just need silence, but I can't turn him down from singing. But he's got into Lenny Kravitz. Yeah, he taste is really eclectic. It's way above his age. He's got his dad's music taste. So they completely connect over music, which is beautiful. But I've told this story on Show and Tale before with Mal but I want to tell it again now because you haven't heard it, and I'm sure a lot of
you haven't as well. But it's about Lenny Kravitz. This is Leni Kravitz story. He was on my Instagram the other day. The guy's sixty. He's so ripped and still so hot. I mean, he's the size, he's a good man. He's the size of a poly pocket though, like you could literally perch him on your shoulder like a parrot.
He's so tiny.
Have you ever interviewed No, but my friend.
Kez who is was a producer at a radio station, like it was Fox FM, which is TODAYFM, and I don't know the other ones anyway, So she was a producer. I forget what team she was working on at the time, but Lenny Kravitz was coming to be interviewed.
So normally with.
A stark kind of that caliber, you normally would go to a hotel room, remember those junkets. Yeah, when you'd go to a hotel room, they'd have cameras set up for a TV and also radio. You'd take your gear and you'd chat to the celebrity. You'd get sometimes like three minus to talk to them.
Yeah.
Yeah, the big stars generally do that. Although Kim Kardashian. We interviewed Kim Kardashian on The Circle at Channel ten and she came into the studio and was bloody lovely, like so sweet when everyone touch her bar.
Did you touch it or did someone touch it?
No, but Chrissy did. Christis one who was one of the hosts on the shows.
She touched her, but she wasn't as huge like, there's no way she would come in now, she wasn't as huge. It was the same as the first time Lady Gaga toured for the Pussy Cap Doles. She came into the studio, she was so awesome. I was doing a show with Ryan and Whipper at the time, and she her right Whipper were just eating lollies and really connected. She went over the road to the food court with her team
and got food. Then the next time she came, literally twelve months later, we had to move our whole show to rob.
Laver Arena, a big arena in Melbourne. Wait at the back. Our show finished at six.
She didn't come in until like seven, and she was still epic awesome.
But it's like within a year it just totally changed.
That's such a shit.
Anyway.
The thing is with Lenny Kravitz, he came into the studio and he had a huge entourage, and so Kerrie as the producer, went out to meet them all and then was going to escort them into the studio to meet the talent and do the interview. So she walks out and she said there was like ten of them. So she went up and she shook the hand of like Lenny's pa, And as soon as she started to shake the hand, she's like, shit, I've got a lot
of handshakes I've got to do here. No, so she went along and shook the hand of every person there, and then Lenny's sitting on the chair looking down at his phone, and he gazed up and then put his head down. Kerry put her hand out to shake his hand, and he just lifted up his phone and Kerry reached out and just shook his phone.
Ah, how embarrassing is that she shook his phone? Like did he put his phone up? Because if to say, I don't want to shake his.
Hand, Yeah, he had his phone in his hand. He didn't even look at it and lifted his hand with the phone in it, and she.
Just grabbed the hand and gave it like a two shake and then was mortified.
All she could think of the whole interview was I just shook Lanny's phone, Like, I just shook his phone.
In stud his hand, the poor thing. But look, I have to say I get it. Like, you know, having been a producer TV radio for a long time, it can be awkward sometimes when you have these big stars coming and you don't know quite you know how they're going to respond and react and you do say.
Some weird shit.
Totally, it's just so awkward. Yes, it's so awkward. And sometimes they don't make you feel very comfortable, so there's like it can be a bit awkward. So I mean, I'm sure I've done many awkward things like that.
So yeah, I.
Would over talk and try and be their friends, like kind of swear and show them that we will you know.
The last and so whatever on our show.
So funny, do you remember that time we had Liz Cambridge on?
Yes, so the basketballer. Oh my god.
Oh god, this is like I don't even know where this came from. But we were having her on the show and we were chatting beforehand about how tall she is. Obviously she's a basketball player, she's tall, and I remember you saying, let's not make sure we don't comment on how tall she is because that would be so annoying, you know what.
Hold on, she walks into her manager said.
You will be gone away by how tall she is, so please don't mention it. So this was I not there for that brain with the one who was speaking to the manager. So you go and answer my front door because This is when we were doing interviews with well known women on my couch at home, like we were videos. Yep, like budget, we would put the camera up on my kids high chair.
So biokie, you go and answer the door. What happened?
I do? I answered the door and the first thing I say is, oh my god, you're so tall.
And of course, as if she hasn't heard that, what are more on?
Oh my god? And then I literally spent the rest of the interview just going, oh my god, why the hell that idiot not believe it?
That's all I thought about the whole interview as well, Oh my god, it's so funny.
So embarrassing.
Anyway, I've got to tell back Sat. I remember to tell him that Lenny Kravitz story. But let's get into like the chronic health side of you know.
Oh yes, yep, the reason why we're here. Okay, Well, look, I received an email this week which I want to read out. It's from a beautiful lady called Anna, and this is Anna's email. Hi girls, I've been recently diagnosed with MS and I'm now pregnant. I've been wanting to have a baby for a long time, so I'm very excited, but that feeling of excitement is being overshadowed by fear. I'm really nervous about how I'll manage being a mom
with this disability. How do you both experience being a mum with your conditions?
Do you have any tips? I ain't born with MS or does it come on?
No develops okay? Yeah? Yeah, And they don't know how it develops, but it develops, but it's usually around the ages of like twenty five to forty. Yeah, I've never heard of like sometimes you might hear of a teenager, like in their late teens, but usually it's like thirty year okay, Because.
I was wondering if something you're born with that's kind of stagnant and then becomes active if you get older or yeah, okay, but because you had your babies before you had MS, yes, right, yeah, So I.
Really feel for you, Anna, because I know it's a really tough decision. But I think as long as you've got all your ducks in a row and you've got a good support system, I think go ahead and do it. Will it be easy? No? But is having a newborn or a tolder or a child ever easy?
Like?
No, No, it's not easy anyway. But I think as long as you have a good support system around you, you're not afraid to ask for help. You know, when people offer help, say yes, put your hand up, and take all the help you can get. I think it would be a real shame to miss out on that experience of having a child.
Yeah, it's hard, isn't it, Because it is like parenting is such a challenging thing on its own, So then you throw your chronic health issues in the mist, and it's terrifying because I think also before you're doing it, the thought of going, can I do this? How am I going to get by? Am I going to be okay? I think the reality of it is you kind of have no choice when the baby born anyway to go, well.
I've just got to do this. I've got to get through.
But I think it is putting those things in place where it's like, Okay, I need to rest, I know what I need to do in order to try and minimize my flare ups. I need help, and you probably will need more help and more strategies than the average person. I don't have MS, but I find parenting extremely challenging because I feel like I have and this isn't to turn you off. And oh my gosh, my children are older,
and I found the baby stage just absolutely glorious. I'd have a million babies, but as soon as they turn to I'd give them away.
Oh for totally you.
I find because I'm unwell and when my headaches aren't there where they come in patches and then I can do that thing I spoke about the other week, where I go to hospital and get rid of them for a couple months. It's the fatigue that kills me. And I find that being chronically tired zap's me of any resilience,
any reserve, any compassion and patience. And I find it's almost sometimes when I'm talking to my kids, I have this almost out of body experience where I hear myself and I'm like, that's you being that awful bitch to
your kids right now. And even though I know that I have such low capacity and I'm so disregulated so much of the time because I have ADHD on top of that, which can make you really disregulated, and I just can I find, especially at the moment because I've got a teenager, and that brings a whole other ballgame of challenging issues like navigating puberty, navigating a whole lover ballgame of emotional fuckness.
Yeah, I just find that I've got nothing there.
I'm soone empty and I keep going, Just find something so you can be kinder. And you know, like this morning, before we did this, I was feeling really disregulated. Baxter's home from school today and everything he was doing was upsetting me and irritating me. And then there's a ripple effect because he needs me to help him regulate, and I'm so disregulated.
I can't. I can't be a person for him.
So I went for a walk and as I'm walking, I'm like, Okay, you've got this, you can do this. And the endorphins helped me as soon as I walked in the door. And two minutes later, I'm like, oh, my spoon's are all gone again. I've got nothing left. Just going through those stages.
It's hard, but I think that's important to remember, too, right, They are all stages. And when you're in these stages sometimes you feel like they'll never pass, but they do, they always do.
It's just so hard when you're in them, you know, it's like, yeah, I just that's when I really resent my chronic house because I'm like, I feel like dealing with kids and their emotions and everything like that is hard enough for people, So then to have added stuff on that you have to deal with and when it's invisible and no one can see it and truly know what's going on in your brain or your mind or how you're feeling, feels really isolated and really wanly, and
it frustrates me. I find myself really angry. I do think it's pairing me pause as well. Like Melan, I talk about this bit where I'm like, I feel like Marian's going fucking insane.
Maybe, yeah, I'm sure they are. I'm sure they are. Yeah, it's really it's a really tricky tricky thing. But first and foremost, I would say, for the stage you're in now, Anna, you need to have a really big important talk with your partner, because you need to have a supportive partner because she will hit the fan as it does, and he might need to pick up the parenting batten or he you know, he might need to you know, do
the drop offs and pickups or whatever. But I think you need to have that really kind of real candid conversation and make sure that you're on the same team and that he expects that these things will come up and is on board to make it all work. It can be really hard sometimes, like with all the activities
kids have on after school and parties and whatever. And I'm just slowly learning sometimes to say to my girls, no, we can't commit to that because I know that I'm not going to be able to do it, and it's hard to do that. But I was talking to someone else recently who also has a chronic killners and she is a mum of three girls, and she was saying, like I say to them, you can do one sport or one instrumental, you know, whatever it is, but I do not have the capacity to be able to run
you around. And she said, the kids like, take it.
Running, that's good moment, Like they are you kidding men, Get in the car, bitch.
But I think in general they want you to be well, like they want that more than anything. And so I think if they think, you know, we're going to do something potentially that's going to make you more unwell or more tied or whatever it is, they don't want to do that either.
It's funny, though, isn't it, Because then because of our chronic health, our kids miss out on a lot.
Like I, yeah, you know, my middle.
Kid is so sport Alo is so sport crazy. He has an activity on every night and I find that I will drop him there, but I always rely on a parent to bring him home, which sometimes makes me feel uncomfortable. Like last night, he had soccer practices in a new team, and I from the WhatsApp group. I don't know a lot of the mums in there, and I don't have any of their numbers save but I found this one lady who lives near us, and I reached out to her and I was like, can you
please bring Alo home? Which I felt kind of uncomfortable about. But I'm like, I can't stand at the trainings and chit chat to people either, because that is so exhausting to me. It's not just a driving and the logistics of getting your kids places. It's like, oh, there's so much social interaction around all of that as well, which I might no chance.
Yeah, absolutely, but you need to rely on those people, you know, and you would do it for somebody else that was in a bad spot and you know, needed help with drop offs and pickups and thing yeah. It's also like I think another episode we should talk about chronic fatigue because it's just something that I think is so not understood because people like they see you out doing things and they think it's fine, or you know, they organize a dinner at my God like APM go.
I think they don't get that it's not like being really tired. It's not the same as being tired. But we definitely shame because I.
Do think that chronic fatigue goes hand in hand with most chronic illnesses.
Most chronic illnesses.
Yeah, yeah, but I.
Think it is definitely leaning on that support network as well. I would be completely stuffed. We've moved away from all of our family so all and you have two trucks, so all of our support network is friends and even like not even friends, but the kids, you know, they're friends, parents.
And stuff like that.
Otherwise it just wouldn't get done, and it wouldn't get done purely because of the capacity that we have. Do you find so exhausting when you see on your in your diary stuff that you have to get done?
Oh yeah, of course, which I.
Know everyone does.
It's overwhelmed.
I'm like, if I've got one appointment for the day, and then I've got to drop all off to soccer. I'm like, that's a big day, that's exhausting. That's enough, And I will never speak anything in the middle of the day because that is like strictly an appointment to nap for me.
Yes, but I think that's really important. It's good that you recognize that and you know that, because it's taken me a while to get to the place where I know that I if I do too much in a day, I'm going to pay for it for the next two days or three days and four days or however long, and it's not it's not worth it. So I've slowly learning how to pace myself and what to kind of
put my energy and time into. But it does. It takes some time, but I think once you figure that out, you really have to kind of stay and stick to us.
Yesterday I felt like it's where I have a whole day where I've got energy, and I was like, I feel really good, like I'm maybe I'll going and do this, maybe you're going and do that. But I forced myself to lay down, which is hard because then I know, come four or five o'clock, I'm going to crash even though I feel good during the day, But it's hard when you actually have the energy and feel good to
stick to what you've set. You know that your rules set for yourself, but you just got to otherwise we just fall apart. We're fragile little bits, aren't we.
We are. The other thing an I'll just quickly mention is the ndis because it's a huge process. But the NDAs are amazing. And I've just recently been accepted for the like for NDAs.
I don't thought it went through.
So did you get a good plan because sometimes they're so shit Again.
No, they've been. It's amazing, Like they've been really amazing, and they can help with like they can have like support workers for different all different kinds of things. But like if you need help around the house, you know, with cleaning and things like that, or depending on how your MS affects you, you can have like different help, you know, for different kinds of things. Like my hands don't work as well as they used to very well.
I mightn't have like any kind of sensation in my hands and stuff, and so I used to love cooking. I still do, but it takes me a lot longer. You know, it might take me like two hours to make dinner because I've got to chop and open things and stuff like that, you know, and it might have taken me, like, you know, half an hour or an
hour before. So it takes a lot longer. And I'm finding that the girls get home from school and then I start making dinner, and then I don't get that time with them, and I don't you know, I miss out on doing those things. So you know, someone can come and help you, like prepare meals and things like that. So you should definitely look into that. Talk to your neurologists about that. A lot of disabilities you can get you careful.
You can't if you've got chronic migraines, even though completely makes you out of the game. The NDI is to recognize that such a punish anyway, Thank you so much for listening. We hope you're getting something out of this podcast, and share it with your friends and family.
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