This show is called ichronic! If you don't laugh, You'll cry!

Hi, friends, HII friends, and welcome to the show. This show is called I Chronic. Yes, Monty and it is Brooke, and we were doing fully Sick, but we realize there's other podcasts called fully sick, so we've changed our name to icronic.

And I hope you get it.

We hope you get it. Of course you yes, of course you would get icronic. This is a podcast all about chronic illness like AA style. My name is Monty, I have.

And Monty thinks she's iconic, so that's how.

The and I think I'm chronic. I have chronic migraines, chronic fatigue, and pot syndrome.

Amazing, congratulations. And I'm Brooke and I have MS, multiple sclerosis, endometriosis, and chronic fatigue.

Don't try and help me buy one month anyway. This is what this podcast is all about.

I where we're fun.

Though we are fun. We share what is going on in the life of being chronically ill, and we want you to share it with your friends if you are chronically ill, or your family so they can understand you a little bit more. And also if yeah, you don't have a chronic illness, maybe you're listening to this going Oh my god, my mom has and now I know she's I always have thought she's a pain in the us. She's actually just in fucking chronic pain all the time.

Yeah, give your mam a break.

Give your mam a break. We did a few episodes last year and then in true form to ourselves, we got sick and so we couldn't pick it up. That we are back and we're both doing really good at the moment. So before we get into the nitty gritties of what we've been doing the last few months, I reckon I'm the last person to have finished the documentary Apple Side of Vinegar.

You are the last person.

Oh the Bell Gibson story, which is very loosely linked on Bell Gibson because after I watched it, the girl who faked her own cancer diagnosis brain tumor cancer diagnosis. Did that cookbook that I bought? Did you have a copy of that book?

Did you buy it?

Ye?

Bought the cookbook. Mom had cancer at the time.

Oh my god, doesn't that make you so angry? Then?

Yeah, I mean, we weren't going to give up all the drugs to go down the natural route, Like I wasn't going to follow some influencer doing that, but a lot of people did. But yeah, the recipes were so good that I'm like, oh, we've got to give this a try, like we've got to change our diet and stuff. But I also followed her, but I didn't have an inkling that she was a fake, because who the hell does that?

Who does that? But do you know what people do it? I've just finished listening to a really good podcast that you would love called Scamander.

Have you heard of this?

I think I have.

It's being made into a Netflix TV show too. It's just unbelievable, similar like along similar lines to Bale Gibson. She this woman fakes cancer, but to such a huge degree that she raises hundreds and thousands of dollars. So she has all these fundraisers raising all this money like she's part of a church, the church fundraiser.

Oh my god, yeah, I do I remember this. I did listen. This is quite an old podcast, but I remember, No, I.

Think it is, Well maybe it is.

And she has two little children and they grow up thinking that their mum has cancer. Imagine what that does to them.

It's so fucked up, Like as hectic as it is, it's like there really aren't, like they're sociopaths. That's so hectic. Yeah, but I was in hospital for a stint, and so I just binged on that, like I did it. I did it over two days.

So good, it's so good.

It's so I love shit like that when you know it's real. But I did then, of course, do some googling and like looked at the house that she was actually in. It was nowhere near as magnificent as the one they had on their the friend that she was like, you know, the other influencer that she was obsessed wasn't didn't really exist like that in real life.

She did in some degree though she did, Yes, she did.

Her dad has spoken out and said, that's not what happened, Like, that's not exactly what happened. But I think there's a lot of like I think it's you know, I know it's loosely based, but I think there is a lot of truth, Like in all the documentaries I've watched since, there does seem to.

Be a lot of truth in the series.

So you get obsessed again, don't you When you watch something like that and then you watch all the interviews, you watch everything like that can I get enough. This girl actually existed and she lived in Melbourne where we both lived as well, like not far from me at all. Yeah, the whole pantry.

The whole pantry, the whole shimuzzle. So you just mentioned Monty that you watched it in hospital, which is probably a good segue to talk about why there's been such a lapse in our episodes.

I'll let you explain.

I'll go first. So we my migraines just kicked up to a whole other gear as they had been all last year. But I had to go into a hospital and I've been in three times since we've been doing our podcasting, and the first one was to try and get rid of my mind. I was in bed for six weeks and I needed to get rid of them. So I went into a hospital and have something called a Ligni cane infusion, which they hook you up to the IV for five days and just very slowly drip local anesthetic into you, and then.

The whole time, like the whole time, so the drip is on the whole entire time you're there.

It's on the whole time. So chya, she can't move, No, I'm just space like to go to the toilet. You should I hold on that long because you go to the toilet is such a pilava. But this also reminds me just before I got hooked up to it. I got taken into the hospital room and I'm like, oh, I need to go the toilet, and opened the toilet door and it was drenched in there. So the nurses like, let's me, let me clean it up. Gets a town and starts wiping it all up on her hands and knees.

Why was it wet?

I don't know. It was a cleaner, didn't cleaned it, but just left it like a oh okay, it was so wet. And then she goes in and I'm like, she's gonna I'm busting at this stage because of all the medication, I'm having to take laxatives. So I'm like, she needs to move or this is so bad, you know, the panic you don't think you can hold anymore. So luckily she just wipes the last bit of water up. I nearly push her out of the room, go to the toilet, finish, and then within two seconds she's back

That's so mean.

So I started it off. That was great, That was that was great. But then I got out and I had two months of no migraines because of this infusion, which is a credible was so incredible, so I could do a lot.

Can you actually remember the last time you had two months migraine dream?

No, I hadn't been for over years. But when I first came out of hospital, I didn't feel good even when I came home, and so it was a real thing for Salmon. I'm like, this hasn't worked, and it was so upset. And then within a couple of days I came good. But what came home with me was really hectic anxiety. I could barely go down the street because I was so scared that it was all going to come back. Every day i'd wake up, I'd be like, oh, Okay, feel good, but it's going to come back. It's going

It's well, it is full on.

And you know, we've talked about this before, but when you have like you start to feel better, you are so you are so scared that it's going to it will come back, and then you yeah, it makes it hard just to enjoy the moment and live life when you're feeling good sometimes because of the stress that it's going to come back.

Actually, I was terrified. I'm like, oh my god, if I got on the street and I start to feel it again, and yeah, it just was there. Not because I had quite a consistent run of feeling good, that anxiety eased and I started to you know, went to Melbourne over Christmas and had really great time and it did come back, right, It came back two months later, and she said, this is not a long term solution. You might get a month or two. And the two

I feel like you're saying her name wrong. I don't know if anyone knows.

Let yeah, Spanish parking maybe anyway, So that lights the load of going to hospital. But they basically knock you out and fry the nerves in the front in the back of of your head to stop the pain signals going up there, and that can take up to six weeks to work. So I'm just hoping that will kick

Yeah, yeah, I feel you. I've got nerve blocks, which is different to the ablation. Yeah, but nerve blox in my face head, kip leg and it's just like you just keep.

Waiting for that moment when it comes that.

So it's definitely you know, it's not a long term solution, but it's just kind of you just keep doing it. Yeah, just keep doing them and doing them until they don't work anymore.

I just that's my thing is I'm like, now I've got something up my sleeve that if I get two months out of it, I'm happy to go into hospital for five days every two months. Yeah, if I know I can get those two months. But it's it's still the uncertainty of it because you're not guaranteed that, yeah, you know what I mean. It's like that was one hundred percent going to work for me. Every time I'd be like, well, this is our thing, this is our life.

No, no, But you've just got to take the good days when they're here.

Yeah right, you're right. Yes, I still manage to win my whole way through them, but you're better at it. You're so much better at grabbing those good days. But you had a shit run there too.

Yeah. I'm just recently out of hospital too.

I had this weird thing called it's called the MS hug, but it's not a nice, friendly, loving hug.

It's like you shit, ru.

Yeah, It's like this really tight pressure around your chest and your torso and it makes it really hard to breathe. I thought I was doing this thing like gasping for air, but apparently it wasn't. It was more just like spasming, like my stomach spasming. It's just the weirdest, most uncomfortable feeling, and so yeah, I went in.

To have that sorted.

So I had like a five day they call it a pulse therapy treatment, which is like a highest steroid based treatment over five days.

Are you not hooked up to the thing the whole time, is right.

Not the whole time? No, No, I'm only hooked up for like an hour a day.

And then did they keep the catheter in those?

Yeah, they keep the catheter in Yeah, I guess.

They can never get the catheter into my arm. They punk into every vein on my arm. It makes me feel so sick.

Yeah, I hate them. You get used to it, though.

Yeah this time I didn't that much though, because it was hurting. But I'm like, I'm not getting them to do that again. I'll suck this up. But so, yeah, you're getting like you're having an hour each day of steroids.

Yeah, and our each day of steroids, and that generally does the trick, like it usually stops a symptom like that occurring. And so probably by day two it started to ease up a lot, and I felt like I was breathing better and not feeling so restricted in my chest. And then by the time I came home, I was really good, like it had completely gone so and then steroids, weirdly, just like help with lots of other things, even though

Yeah.

Yeah, just be so good to get underneath the band aid. Oh my god, I just feel like somebody needs to climb into my body and flip on switches and go. These ones aren't on properly. All these ones aren't on right. But it's so good. You came home feeling good, but you went left home with hectic anxiety, which you've never had.

Yes, I really, for the first time in my life, I can appreciate what someone who has anxiety goes through because I wasn't sure like if I've ever.

Had it in my life or not, and now I know I haven't.

Because I had like a medically induced anxiety from being on such highly effective drugs to then like stopping.

It's like a withdrawal almost, And.

So I came home and I felt so much better physically, but then I had like this really sick feeling in my stomach, and I was shaky and jittery, and I just it was so hard to just like, it's so hard to describe the feeling, but it's like alarm bells going off in your entire body and you don't know why.

You're just in fid or flight the whole time.

Oh my god, it's awful.

Just and I feel for you now that I know what that feels like, because it is awful. Like it was such an awful feeling, like I was finding myself. It probably only lasted for four days, but I was finding myself just like counting down the hours until I could.

Go to bed for it to stop. Yeah, that's pretty bad, awful, Like I just I can't believe people have to live like that, and so.

Many people do, Like so many people. I wonder what the percentage of people who have anxieties. I mean, we all experienced to a certain extent, but when it's so debilitating and so chronic. Thank god your left after four days, but it's just zaps all your joy.

It's just hideous.

I was just thinking about when I went into get this nerve oblation and how on a side note, she's like, oh, if you've had botox before, it's no worse than that. And I'm like Okay, well, fucking love botox. Film me up anytime. Yeah, I can do this. And I laid down and they half knock you out and then stick a needle into your into not your brain, sorry, but behind your skin, into your nerves and then you say I can feel it, and then they knock you out and fry them for ten minutes.

Wow.

Anyway, I'm laying there and I'm like, this isn't fucking botox mate. I could feel it digging around, like it felt like the needle was like going into an owl shape and twisting under there.

I was like, oh, this is so.

Hectic, and I've realized I haven't been knocked out in my life very often. And that was the scariest part for me. Was getting going under. Oh I think helped. But when I was laying there, you know how they will you in and there's bright lights and everything around, and it wasn't a hectic room that they do surgery. It was more a procedure room. But I'm laying there and as she's saying, oh, he's going to give you a cocktail of medication. Now, I knew that my procedure

It is scary.

I've been under many times, like I reckon, like at least ten times.

Really more for your end, don't Yeah.

I've had yet probably three or four laparoscopies like IVF baby related stuff, and I've had to have a couple of things with my MS as well. And it's such a funny thing because I generally feel like to day my mental health is pretty good.

And there's something about lying.

In a theater before they operate, or even like lying in an MRI machine, but being in the hospital surrounds and lying down and just having nothing else to think about other than that moment and what you're there for. And I find that's often where I get a little bit teary.

Yes, I get tiary too. What I said that I recorded before going into the nerve oblation, and I didn't record much, but I just thought I'll just record, you know, while I'm standing here getting ready to go in, because I wasn't terrified before I went in. But it does it something about it that makes you weepy. So anyway, I play you this.

I'm in the bathroom about to go in for my nervblation.

I don't know why I'm emotional.

I just guess because I've got to be knocked down, and I get really nervous that if it doesn't work, what am I going to do next? I also found a bizarrely like I had to stop crying something when I said good bye to Sam who's waiting for me. But anyway, I'm going to go in, get this done, and then just really hope for the best. I just feel if you think you've been knocked out and then trying my nerves, but you've got to do what you got to do, Okay.

Just come out of nowhere. The tears on days like that, you know, and you you're going to have procedures and stuff like that. But saying why to Sam, I was like, don't cry, don't cry. You're literally going to see him in an hour. And it wasn't the leaving him, it was the I'm going to cry now. But anytime he'll drop me off to an emergency or you'll have something like that done, but leaving your safety and that's your home going and you've got to go and go through

Into the unknown. You don't know. It's scary.

I wonder if any of the any of our listeners, the stickies out there, and they feel the same way when you go in for a whether it's a nerve block or an MRI or a scan.

Or an operation, whatever it is.

I wonder if they feel the same, because it's it's pretty common, right, Like.

Oh my god, it would be so common because you're also terrified it's going to hurt, you know, like you're just like, oh, I don't know if I can deal with this pain.

The amount of yeah, like the amount of times I've had things done, and even if it's like not a big deal, like it's a nerve block or something like it's not a huge deal, but I get teary and then the doctor's doing it.

It's like, oh, you're okay, Yeah, it's totally fine, don't worry about me.

I'm so fine. And I'm not a cryer, Like I don't cry normally, and I don't dwell on you know, the illness stuff. So it's unusual because every single time, even in like an MRI, I'll just find myself getting tira.

Yeah, I hear you. I think all of us do. Also. Before we go, I just wanted to read out this beautiful poem that one of our listeners sent in.

It's so gorgeous.

Her name's Crystal, so she listens to the show High Crystals Crystal, and I also think Crystal has chronic healthy shoes as well. I'm sure she is. I don't know exactly what they are, but I wanted to read you this and it's a longish poem, but it really resonated, and I thought, how beautiful you are with your words, Crystal,

Oh my god, I'm.

All, isn't that what Dunning? I know?

So she wrote that.

Crystal wrote that, Crystal, that's amazing. And also, Crystal, I feel like you were talking about me.

Yeah, that's the thing. I was like, I get it. I totally get it. And Crystal, if you didn't write that and you've plagiarized it, you've made safe a fucking fall. I just thought that was so beautiful and soot on.

Beautiful, so beautiful, Like I think we should post this. Can we put it on like.

On our on our Instagram?

That is beautiful? And yeah, I resonate with so much of that.

Totally sad. It's sad but true. We're going to get out of here. Thank you so much for listening to us. We're going to try and do this a little more consistency, consistently, and we want to hear from you. So the best place to get through is show and tell online on our Instagram. That is where you can find us. And if you've got any questions, you've got any stories you want to share, like, let's build a little community here.

And connection is connection is everything. Oh my god, it's a lonely road.

Yeah, it's connections everything for you know, everybody, but even more so for people in our situation.

So let's connect.

If we'll start doing reader questions from from our next podcasting two weeks so yes, shoot us, any questions, any thought?

Yeah, all right, guys, thanks for listening and we'll chat to you soon. Bye for now.

Bye,