Spaghetti Racism + The Ugg Boot Tragedy - podcast episode cover

Spaghetti Racism + The Ugg Boot Tragedy

Feb 05, 202521 minSeason 4Ep. 516
--:--
--:--
Download Metacast podcast app
Listen to this episode in Metacast mobile app
Don't just listen to podcasts. Learn from them with transcripts, summaries, and chapters for every episode. Skim, search, and bookmark insights. Learn more

Episode description

This week, it's double-the-rants as Mel brings two big gripes to the table. We also talk buffets, badly-designed toilets, spaghetti racism and Monty tells the saddest story about Ugg boots you've ever heard. Enjoy!

Fancy supporting us on Patreon? Find out more here.

Follow us and get in touch on Instagram here.

Follow us on Facebook here.

 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Speaker 1

Hi, cats, how are you today? Hope you were? Well, it's Malam manti yeay.

Speaker 2

Speaking of cats, are you off remember last year?

Speaker 1

Well?

Speaker 2

Yeah, even the year before you're talking about getting a cat.

Speaker 1

That was so weird that stage I went through. I wanted, what are the rag dolls? I was looking at ragged or because I just thought it's a good pet for the kids. And then I went and looked at a friends who had one, and I didn't even want to touch it. I was like, you're not into anything with hair on it like that. It's something that's got its whole body coven in hair is just not an interest of mine.

Speaker 2

I don't like that. And then when you touch them and you can feel their bones, something about that I don't like. Like a cat, you know, you pat it and you can feel every you can feel everything.

Speaker 1

Online people who love their cats and dogs are I just I've said this a million times. I'm so envious because that love is so intense and it's just so recipicted and it's just a beautiful thing. I just don't have an ounce of it in my body. Yeah, Like, I don't want harm done to them, obviously, but I do people be like you love my dog. I'm like, I really won't, like, I won't want to touch it. Yes, everyone is different. Is your dog still getting its period? Yeah?

Speaker 2

Yeah?

Speaker 1

Have you not made a spade.

Speaker 2

Because it's like, why, because she's a bulldog. Anytime she'd have to go under is an issue because of the breathing stuff, right, So it's like, well, it's not that big a deal.

Speaker 1

So you just have to wipe off a bit of blood on the floor every month.

Speaker 2

No, Well, she's not really inside a heap. She's really only inside when it's really hot because it's unsafe for her to be outside. But she's an asshole. She's just a really difficult dog. She's not a dog you can really have inside a lot. She just she's We've taken her to puppy school, We've had trainers come to the house.

Speaker 1

She's just not interested in playing ball. Yeah, let's kick off with rant or Rave. We started this the other week, a new segment that Mal has made. We just come around a second time. Normally you're going, oh, this is a good segment. Let's do this regularly and at last one time. But I said, when we do this, we've actually got to have raves as well. Like something we're interested in. But you've got two rans.

Speaker 2

Now, unsurprisingly, I have two rants right. The first is I was at the chemist picking up a script and I'm you know, you're waiting for them to call your name, and I'm watching all the people before me, and I'm thinking, not all pharmacists, so don't be offended. If you are a pharmacist, you don't do this. They really need to learn to keep their fucking voices down when they are dishing out that medication. Yes, how uncomfortable. I'm standing there and I wasn't even that close. So have you had

this before? Yes, so if your vagina is very itchy, this will help with that.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

And then this other medication very good for depression.

Speaker 1

And I'm like, yeah, I do know this. I do know. I have at times encountered it to them. It's nothing, so they don't care, but it's like, I don't really want everyone to know.

Speaker 2

Ye know, I think it's something, and I think you have to have a lens and go okay, like if there's things I need to tell them about, I'll just you know, yeah, be discreeted, keet my voice down a bit.

Speaker 1

Yeah, No, I know that one I have I have encountered it time.

Speaker 2

I just well, my default always as if they say if you had this medication before, I'm always like, yeah.

Speaker 1

Yeah, same, even if they're not familiar with it. Yeah, but also your doctor explains what the side effects and stuff are, so I don't need to hear it again.

Speaker 2

No, very true. So that's my first ranch. Okay, my second this is unbelievable to me. I'm not going to mention the brand because I don't want to get us sued. Instagram scrolling again and I so all this real of this girl putting like these drops in her drink and drinking it and then talking about how she maintains her tan and I'm like, oh my god, yes, it would come out with a drink that what it does is boost jamelatonin. And then I went onto their site and

started scrolling through it. There's people in solariums. There's people out in the sun then showing their tan lines because tan lines have become a thing now, like a trend to show your tan lines. I got so irrationally furious because I was like, what the fuck is going on here? Number One, that should be illegal. Number two, I think solariums are illegal aren't they solariums?

Speaker 1

Hands down illegal, there's like underground selariums. God, when I was younger, I used to live in the same and put on the accelerator and come in bright red. But there's those drops or it's a nasal spray. It was on the project the other night they had a two sep oh is it yep? Okay? So I don't know what the nasal spray does, but it helps you keep it helps you tan. And I was like, fuck, this is epic, but She's like, no, it can of course

increase skin cancer. You can get all of the same side effects as if you were just frying yourself in the sun. God, I want them to invent something though, that is healthy and tansy skin. I really want that so badly.

Speaker 2

I want that too, because it's annoying, so annoying.

Speaker 1

My whole week is kind of like I'm like, oh, what are my legs like? Because it's always hot where I live too. I have my legs out all the time, and I will never go out if I don't have fake tan on my legs because they're they're translucent, like you can see my veins on that white but not the nice white so I'm constantly fake tanning, and it's so I'll get to go to bed. I'll be ready to go to bed, and I'm like, fuck, you have

got a fake tan. You've got this on tomorrow. So I get up to my whole fake tan, get into my long sleeve Jarmi's and lay in bed and I washed it off the next morning. But it is such a pilava. It is a pilava.

Speaker 2

Yeah, but a bigger pilava is fucking skin cancer. When I'm oh, you have cancer of the liver. It began with skin cancer. Yes, those sites. I got so angry because I thought that should be illegal.

Speaker 1

I think it is. I think it's legal in America. It's not legal in Australia.

Speaker 2

This is an Australian company. Oh wow, I wish I could call him out because it really pissed me off. And again it's all young, beautiful.

Speaker 1

Girls, just impressionable people.

Speaker 2

And then I'm like, then all other young girls and boys are watching this. I want to be trendy, I want to have the tan. I'll try this, and they're not go fucking lay in the sun like us idiots did.

Speaker 1

Yeah, totally.

Speaker 2

God.

Speaker 1

I used to love laying in the sun, though, But I will never go in the sun now. I'm so scared, like to the point that I'm probably so vitamin D deficient because I'm just terrified of it. My nanpast of skin cancer. She got like a really rare form of skin cancer that like not many people die from. But of course she died, but I remember so vividly as

a kid. She always had this beautiful dark skin and they'd go to you know, Queensland, and spend the winters in Queensland, and she'd come back so dark, and she'd like leather oil into her and she just loved it because we didn't know then.

Speaker 2

No, that's right. And the thing that's annoying is like when people die from cancer, most of the time, it's like it's bad luck. You can't do anything about it. This is something you can actively try to prevent.

Speaker 1

It's when I think about smoking, I'm like, the odds of you getting emphysema or dying of lung cancer are so high, And I like, I've never smoked, so I get that it's coming from a non smoker. It's really easy for me to say because apparently it's harder than giving up heroin. It's so hideous to it up. But I'm like, like, what the hell My anti died of emphysema and it was a fucked death.

Speaker 2

It's horrible. Yeah, it's horrible. But I think the complication there is that it's actually an addiction. Like it's exactly you know, like okay, being brown in a way is you get addicted to it, you want to look nice whatever. This is like a fool. I would say quitting smoking is the hardest thing I've ever done.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I had no doubt have.

Speaker 2

It's not just the chemical thing, it's your attachment to it. Your attachment to it's a break, it's a and then like the ritual of it as well, it's a ritual.

Speaker 1

Yeah.

Speaker 2

It's almost like like we were talking about with the dopamine stuff last week or the week before. It's that same thing. You're getting a hit that's making you even though it's disgusting. Yeah, it's giving you something totally.

Speaker 1

I understand. That's what Like the vaping now like is so easy to do, Like people just do it inside because it's not detected.

Speaker 2

Or I mean you shouldn't be able to do it inside. I saw someone doing it at the shop the other day and I was like, you should not be vaping in here.

Speaker 1

You're probably not. I mean on most places, you're probably not. Like on a plane, you can't vape even though it's no smoke, you know. But that's what terrifies me about the boys too, because they're so delicious vapes, you know what I mean. Like when I've tried to grape on, I'm like, oh, this is yummy, but it's like no, Like I just am so scared of cancer. I feel like it's sitting duck with it and I am just like so many people we know are going to die of cancer, Like it's just a fact.

Speaker 2

Do you know what's really interesting? I like, sometimes I feel worried saying this stuff because I haven't really done my research, and when I try and convey something that someone else has said, I might not get it right.

But no, I'm the same. The gist of what I'm going to say is that I listened Every story starts with I was listening to a podcast, but it was a podcast with my Hormones, and she was talking about how important it is at this stage of your life to eat well and you know, keep your stress down, sleep well, all those sorts of things, and she said, because things like cancer. She said, it's like an overgrowth

of abnormal cells. If that happens, I think the way it should go is your body recognizes that and sort of fights it off. But if you have a really shit diet and you're highly stressed and you're not eating, and you've got high cortisol levels and all that stuff, then your body is too busy taking care of that. So then when those bad cells start to develop, it's not looking at that. It's busy dealing with the other shit I heard. And again no idea but that we

all have cancer as cells. It's just whether they turn on or not. Yes, that too, Yeah, whether they're ignited into cancer or not. Anyway, fun mine.

Speaker 1

You can terrify. Sam and I are in bed the other day and think we were talking about like the kids don't learn a language at school, and we used to learn languages at school. High school I learned French, I don't remember any of it. But in primary school I learned Italian. I remember doing I did a project on Pavarotti once, but I was saying, how to celebrate learning Italian. We had a spaghetti eating competition that is

how we celebate. Could that be any more stereotypical? Going guys gather into the hall to celebrate tanti a gulie week, That's all I remember with an not an l Oh, is it tantia guri? Okay, I've always sun tanti a gullia, but to celebrate and tell you it, because I'd alway have a week of it.

Speaker 2

You know.

Speaker 1

We would go into the hall and everyone would sit with cross legs and we'd have a spaghetti eating competition.

Speaker 2

Oh no, like just just reiterating, like that's what Italians do. They eat spaghetti.

Speaker 1

That's all they do. Fat. Yeah, the fat fucks make their spaghetti and we're gonna eat spaghetti anyway. When I was younger, I hated bolonnaise sauce, like to the point. I don't know, but my sister used to just eat the bolonnaise sauce and I'd eat the.

Speaker 2

Pasta like I was hating on it.

Speaker 1

Nothing I may, I don't know, maybe Mum put a bit of butter or something on it, but I would just take the paths of the spaghetti anyway. I remember, I was so unbelievably scared my name was going to get called out of the bowl of every week kid's name. I'm like, I can't like the panic. I look back now and I'm like, clearly I had hectic anxiety as a kid. Yeah, but I was like there were hundreds of names in there, and the panic that I thought I was going to get pulled out to do the

spaghetti eating competition. In fact, I think I've definitely spoken about this before because somebody else reached out that went to Williamstown Primary School and said they remember the spaghetti eating competition. But I went up to the teacher, I'm like, I can't do it. I can't do it anyway. You had to eat the spaghetti with no fork. It was out of the bowl with your mouth. Oh, like the.

Speaker 2

Dodda is so revolting, and it was bolin a? Was it bolonaise?

Speaker 1

Yeah?

Speaker 2

Oh, you know what I would have been scared of. Imagine it was tinned spaghette. I've never eaten tin spaghetti before.

Speaker 1

I used to enjoy tin spaghetti. Oh it's so nasty though, Like the noodles are so soggy. It's hectic.

Speaker 2

I can't even imagine that would have been my imagine it was tinned spaghetti. It would end up. It would have ended up being like you know that scene in Stand By Me where the kids doing the pie eating competition. He just starts vomiting and then everyone starts vomiting on each other.

Speaker 1

Yeah, maybe it was tin spaghetti. I mean, it was so long ago, and I can't imagine somebody making bowlineise for it, can you?

Speaker 2

No?

Speaker 1

No?

Speaker 2

And also spaghetti, there's something disgusting to me about like just the look of people doing those eating competitions always makes me sick shoveling that food into their mouths. But also how fucking like tone deaf. And I'm not even like a real, you know, socially conscious person or whatever, but I look at that and I'm like, there are people who can't eat, and you're being so fucking wasteful

for a competition. It pisces me off, the same as when you see people at a buffet and they just pile shit on their play and then they go, oh, it doesn't matter if you don't like it, go.

Speaker 1

And get more tossed out.

Speaker 2

Fuck you, that's shit.

Speaker 1

Yeah. I should probably think about that a bit more than I do. I don't usually I got I used to love a buffet. I used to love going to My grandparents had an apartment in Surface Paradise, and without doubt we would go and play miniature golf. And then next door was Sizzler and it was fucking cheesy bread. Oh, which of course they strategically did so you ate less at the buffet, But of course, how amazing was that

cheesy bread? And then the ice cream machine? Do you also remember pizza Hat hat and all you can eat?

Speaker 2

Yes?

Speaker 1

I do. Oh that was so good.

Speaker 2

But again this is something I'm the same as you. I loved a buffet, loved it. But as I'm getting older, I'm getting more funny with germy stuff.

Speaker 1

I want to eat it a buffet now.

Speaker 2

You even just the tongs for people to pick stuff up. When you sicked the seventy five people that have been there before you might not have washed their hands after they went to the toilet. Might have just a guy might have just had a bat and then not.

Speaker 1

Washed his hands. That's unlikely.

Speaker 2

It's like escalators touching the thing. It's the same thing, but it's food related.

Speaker 1

Oh I know. Odie was at the park the other day and was putting his mouth on like I was swinging on the swing and he put his mouth on that like where you hold the swing, you know, the chain, And I'm like, oh my god, not only has that had a million hands, as had kids hands there you just have to hands of all times.

Speaker 2

But that's building his immunity as well. Like it's disgusting, but it's different, Like I think kids doing it. Think of childcare centers when your kids in childcare or like kinder or whatever. And you see, my kids were actually talking about this the other day. You know, like the toilets are open, they've got those tiny little toilets behind like glass or something so they.

Speaker 1

Can all see.

Speaker 2

My kids were like, I can't believe we used to have to go in there and everyone's just shitting.

Speaker 1

All the kids were just.

Speaker 2

Sitting there, sitting and everyone can see. That would mean is that not your worst nightmab behind glass and everyone see you went to a hotel.

Speaker 1

With Mark not long ago and the toilet was behind glass.

Speaker 2

Yeah, for anniversary it was frosted, like half of it frosted, the other half was not. I'm like, what kind of design is this? I like, I can't think of anything worse. And also a hotel where people are probably going to have a bit of one on one time, right. Yeah, I'm like, that's why would you do that? There's nothing if you said the shower is whatever, Okay, I get it. But toilet. It has to see someone on the fucking toilet.

Speaker 1

Oh my god. Nothing takes the sexiness away like watching somebody do a dump. A bad design. That's very bad design. I have got before we go, Just a funny little story. My hairdresser who lives down the road. Her husband was a pro surfer, this great surfa and his dad was also an incredible surfer, like he's known it all in the surfing community. And in her studio, which the back is out the back of her house, she had all these beautiful surf boards. I'm like, oh, they're you know,

really nice. And she said, yeah, my father in law is a shaper, a surfboard shaper and a mad surfer. And she said he actually invented the ug boot so he would go surfing and when it was really cold, he's like this is too much, so he invented the ug boot to be able to put on the boots after he surfed. And they're called uger boots because they're so ugly. Anyway, he goes on to sell the company right, Oh my god. And I was like to her, Oh my god, you're kidding and she said yeah, for ten

thousand dollars. And the kicker upsetting, he gets in the contract to three pairs of ug boots for free a year. So it rolls around to the beginning of the year. He calls up America. He's like, can you send me out my ugg boots?

Speaker 2

I would never ever be able to get past that.

Speaker 1

Neither would I. She's like, our life could have so different.

Speaker 2

I would she like she would have had a live in hairdresser. Oh, she wouldn't be there.

Speaker 1

She wouldn't have been living down the road from me either. That's sure where I'm living at the moments. Like, No, she wouldn't be living there. She'd be on the beach side. In a like it just isn't it wild? It's also like my a bit of a different ballgame. But my grandparents used to own a house in Lawn, which is in Victoria along like a coastline. Really like you've got

to be quite wealthy, yeah, to get a house there. Now, they had a house right on the beach, which where like if they had it now, it would be worth a squillion dollars, Like my name was always kicking herself that they sold that, Like just one decision your family could make could literally have changed your whole trajectory.

Speaker 2

God, that poor man I would be.

Speaker 1

I would be the.

Speaker 2

Most bitter, same horrible person from that. But that is also a thing that really pisces me off with people who come up with inventions or they designed something, or like a designer would designed something beautiful or whatever, and then in swoops all the like Temu and you know I love Camar, but like Camar and whatever, who just then use that idea, they copy the idea and then they do it for like five bucks.

Speaker 1

Yeah, totally, And that.

Speaker 2

Poor person that's invented that loses out that pisces me off. Wow, that Paul, give her my condolences.

Speaker 1

That's terrible. It's terrible. Okay, we're out of here. Thank you for listening to our patrons. Thank you for your support. If you can grab a membership, head over to patreon dot com, Forward Slash Show and tell online. It's about five bucks a months. Just helps us with running this pod, and we love that you listen. Can we appreciate you and thank you back now Love you

Transcript source: Provided by creator in RSS feed: download file
For the best experience, listen in Metacast app for iOS or Android
Open in Metacast