Okay, let's go.
Okay, it's lucky. It's a lucky lucky doug it time. Woofle fellow everyone, it's melon monty.
Yes, love when there's an animal component.
Hey, there's a koala being on one of our main roads recently, so we've got signs up. Koala was crossing and then we found We saw him up the top of a tree the other day and Odie was giddy, giddy, giddy. We had to pull over the car in the rain and go and look at this koala all curled up. Oh so baby Koala, So baby Koala.
You know that's a beautiful thing about little kids. They force you to be present.
Oh my god. Yeah, it made me excited to look up at this Koala up there. It was very cute. Anyway, So lucky dip today. Everyone, it's me doing this. Okay. So this one's like kind of a semi serious one,
but I thought, okay, I'm going to do it. Yeah, because on Insta I saw that a licensed counselor had five questions to ask you about your partner if you were questioning your relationship with your partner, like it's your happy sort of no, yeah, I guess if you're unsure or or five questions you ask yourself to go, Okay, is this the relationship I meant to be in? And that this because if you answer no to any of them, it's a pretty big fault in your relationship if you
ask me, oh shit. So they're kind of five solid questions to go, right, is this the relationship for me? So I'm going to give them to you.
Okay, I feel nervous.
So the first question is if someone told you that you are a lot like your partner, would you take this to be a compliment.
In some regards I would, In others, I wouldn't a love I think that there are traits in each other, especially if you've been together for a long time. You can see each other's strengths, but you see each other's weaknesses and faults too. My husband is loyal and beautiful and caring, like he's an amazing man, but he's very black and white. If he believes this, he believes it, it's done.
It's frustrating.
It's frustrating, you know, like that like idea of you know, people say growth mindset or a fixed mindset. He's a very fixed mindset.
Yeah, okay, so yeah, okay, so, and I reckon It all depends the inflection, like you just like your husband or so much like yours, you know what I mean? Yes, Yes, Sam is hands down a better human out of the two of us, Like he's can be the life of the party, he's loyal, he's fine, he's the rock everyone goes to. So I could only take it as a compliment if he was told he was like me, I don't need.
But again, there are opposite sides too, because if someone said to him, oh god, you remind me of Katie right now, he would probably take that as and remember, these are people we're not seeing you in your home environment, right, Yes, Oh my god, I'm fun. I'm coming out with the jokes on whatever time.
Yes, okay, so that one, yes, all right. The second question, are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely?
Oh, it's so like again, that's like a romantic question you don't see and think about so often.
But I'm hands down like less lonely having him. But sometimes you feel lonely in your relationship.
So but of course you do because one esther perel said this, and it's true. You can't expect one person to do everything.
Absolutely not, But yes, so I guess sometimes you can feel a bit lonely when you're on separate pages, but overall I feel obviously less lonely having him.
Yes, And I can't imagine no go out them.
Sometimes I feel fulfilled, other times I feel completely unfulfilled, but I don't. Again, I don't think it's just him. It's everything that's going on, Like, am I filled in with the kids? Work? Like everything like that?
Because your partner in life, when you've been together for a long time, you're going through kids and all that, it gets fucking boring and monotonous and stuff. So you can also.
Get soone meshed, do you know what I mean? Like that, it's hard to go, well, we are us So I don't know.
Yeah, I know, I know, Okay.
The third one, are you in love with who your partner is as a whole or are you only in love with their good side, their potential or the idea of them?
That is again really hard because you love them, but naturally there are things about them you don't like, And I.
Suppose I do think these are probably questions for more when you're starting out a relationship, maybe, and if you're unsure because the thing is that a lot of people are with somebody through because of the potential of their partner, Like how many times have you heard but if you just could do this, it will be great. So you hang in there for the potential of the partner as opposed to who are they right now? Is that the
person that you want to be with? Are you fulfilled being with that person or are you in love with the idea of what that person could be but it's just your idea?
Yeah, yeah, I agree with that. There's like, I think there's fundamental things that you have to look at in a partner, and if they aren't giving you one of those things, like if you're with someone in the early days and let's say, for example, they're rude to wait stuff, or you know, they say I hate kids and you really want kids, they're things you have to look at because.
Yeah, or if they're trying to kick some shit habit and you're like, when they get rid of that habit, it will be okay, or you know what I mean, it's like that's the possibility of them, that's not the reality of them. That's rightly, I think it's a good one to ask.
Yeah, that's good.
The fourth one, are you a would be unapologetically yourself or do you feel the need to show up differently to please your partner?
Absolutely myself, But I do find myself, even like next month, We've been together for twenty six years, I still find myself having to explain in a way, like you know, when I and that's more about me if I say something or do something that is not the nicest because I shoot off my mouth and then think later. I do have to always be like, but, oh, but I didn't mean that or whatever, Like I over explain a lot sometimes yes, you know.
Yeah, yeah, but I'm definitely myself. But I also sometimes I'm like, I can't totally be myself right now in terms of if I'm feeling really negative or something like that, I'm like, it's such a drain. So sometimes I'm like, will not just if I'm like, God, you've been like this for a while now, this is really draining on here, I will alter myself to some extent.
That's you being mindful of his whatever. But I do think if people are honest with themselves, which is probably why therapy is always a good idea, there are things about each other that you don't like or that bother you or whatever, and you overlook them or whatever. You can't be honest about everything. You can't do you know what I mean?
Like, you can't be honest about absolutely everything. Like imagine he looks like a pile of shit or something, and he thinks he looks all right, I'm not gonna go you look really terrible. Oh do you know what I mean? I wouldn't say that.
No, although he fucking insists. It pisces me off so much. He like, he doesn't have any sort of ego about like how he looks and whatever. He's just not that person, right, whereas I am the opposite. Yes, and he like, where's tracks pants? Like when we go to Lucas footy game whatever, or even work he's got dark work pants. Anywhere's white socks? Every time I take photos and then send them to him and go, look out, fucking stupid that looks Why
are you wearing good white socks? Because he's got like he'll wear black runners. It pisces me off.
That is so funny. Isn't that stupid? I would never recogniz I wouldn't even notice it. Okay, and lucky, last, this one is a good one for all of us to question, whether you've been in a relationship for a long time or not, would you want your future or imagine child to date someone like your partner. Mine is hands down yes, Yes, that's where I'm like, that's almost the most important one, especially if you do have children and you're like, would I want this for my kids? I'm like, yeah, I would.
Yeah. Again, if your person is fundamentally a good person, that's what you want, and then you can own out all the other stuff.
Yeah, you can olean out of the white sox.
It's important when you're raising kid that you want a good role model for your sons and daughters and stuff too. In a man.
Totally all right, big legends. Just a short one today, But pondre on those questions, those five questions. Ask your friend if they're in a shit relationship. Go, I've got these five questions for you as you need.
We think your partner's a real fucking asshole.
Yeah or just patronizingly. I'm just gonna ask you five questions and let me know your answers. Hey, thank you for listening to our patrons. Thank you. Every second week we give you an extra podcast over there. If you grab a membership Patreon dot com, forward La Chantelle online and we'll be chatting to you soon.
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