La La La la lucky. It's a lucky dip carded y by everyone and everyone. It's me, It's Monty. You show me towl girls if you knew. Thanks for listening. What a treat to have Gary is here. If you're a oldie, just as lovely to have you back.
An old timer, an old timer. We are coming up to our five hundredth episode, are we really? Yeah? We are. I think we've got maybe twelve twelve episodes to go.
I wonder when we did our first episode, do you was it? Where was it?
I don't know. I remember where it was. I feel like it was it Stacey's. Was it at Stacy's house the first one? No, oh my god, I can tell you where it was. It was your old house.
My old house. Yeah, yeah, yes, on the table, yeah, the table. We would have had no idea what we
were doing. We still don't, but just had the biggest I remember like when I finished doing Sydney Breakfast Radio, I was like, Okay, I'm going to start podcasting and going to the shops and then not really knowing what I should get, like it wasn't a thing there, like it was not really a thing, and just spend I remember I to spend quite a lot of money on getting like this mixing thing that I know so fucking archaic now and the microphones, and oh my.
God, I know how far we've come.
Hey, oh how far?
Well back by popular demand? Yes, I've got a few more secrets from my late night.
Reddit threads that you get into.
Yeah, okay, so let's kick it off with this first one. Okay, it's not really dark, it's just wow. My boyfriend and I met at the brothel where I used to work as a whole. That's her line, not mine, her language, but imagine, so how did you meet? Obviously they're not telling people how.
Yeah, ma'am, I'm dad.
Okay. I love my wife dearly, but she's one of the least intelligent people I know. She struggles with very very basic things her whole family does. She's from a small town and wasn't exposed to a lot by her parents and their simple lifestyle. She said a few things that maybe some people would find cute for how ignorant they were, But I just get a little more depressed
every time. I don't think anything would hurt my feelings more than if market said that to me, Like if he I mean if he said to me, you've gotten fat, I don't find you attractive. I could deal with that better than him being embarrassed that I wasn't smart enough.
Well, yeah, because it's like I say some dumb stuff sometimes and we all do Sam's face, and then occasionally he'll be like are you serious, and I'll be like, yeah, I'm clearly fucking serious. I didn't learn that. I get really defensive.
But because I think being dumb is at the court sort of your It's like your biggest insecurity is it.
Is absolutely mine because all through school I felt dumb. Because if I wasn't interested, I can concentrate on it, like I just have got this reoccurring story that I'm done, I'm dumb. I don't have much to contribute in you know, so that would kill me.
It's more that you will ask questions. It's more of a curiosity thing. It's not an intelligence thing. It's that you just want to know more. And maybe the difference between you and someone else is that the other person wouldn't ask it, they'd go home and google it and find the answer. But you're more open that you just lazy.
I'm like, I'm not going to google it. Can you just tell me what that means or where that is? Or yeah, yeah, interesting?
Okay, this fuck. I used to masturbate a lot, and when I was ten, I had a technique or I'd let off a load into a sock, then wash it and quickly dry it. I couldn't leave it hanging outside or use a dryer, otherwise my family would have seen it and probably smelt it.
Oh my god.
I feel like he wasn't washing it properly in that case, so I put it inside my gas heater unit. Unfortunately, my sock had caught on fire inside the unit, blew it up and set my house on fire. Only my brother was home at the time, and he managed to survive, but the house did not. For five years, we stayed from caravan park to caravan park whilst we waited for confirmation that it was not arson and we could receive an insurance payout. We eventually did and scraped together money
to start rebuilding the house. The house is still being rebuilt to this day, and it shames me anytime I have to visit my parents living in a tiny mobile home where my backyard once was. That's heavy to carry, heavy to carry and then also, what do you say? I'm sorry, I came in the sock and I did wash it, but then I was trying to dry it and sorry.
Fuck. Also deep, that's me into a sock.
Yeah, I feel like I had a sense of Yeah, it's probably different for a boy. I don't know, like to say, even come out at ten.
I didn't think it did well. I think something comes out, but not sperm. I don't know it's.
Okay. Suicide warning. My brother committed suicide in nineteen ninety four. Shortly thereafter, I intercepted a letter to my parents from his girlfriend. She was pregnant and wanted them to know and asked if they wanted to be in the baby's life. I burned the letter and have never told them. She never contacted them again. And I did so many drugs that I buried that secret deep in my subconscious. And then all people replied, right, so there's all these people
asking why the fuck would you do that? He responded, and he wrote, at that time, I thought he was a woman. No. Mark said the same thing.
I thought it was a sister.
Sorry, no, no, no, it's a brother. So people have asked, why wouldn't you tell that Why would you keep that from your parents or whatever? And he wrote at that time, yes, I hated him. He was an addict who put our family through hell for years and then killed himself. It plunged my parents and I into a very dark place for a very long time. Burning the letter haunted me for years and kept feeding my depression for many years.
You can call me whatever you like, but you don't know anything about living with an addict, So don't judge the actions of a seventeen year old who had just lost his brother. I wish I remembered her name, but we had never met her, and she had her share of addictions as well. Do you imagine that? Imagine then if he did come clean and said to the parents, listen, I never told you.
But.
Child, Yeah, child's thirty years old. Now you'd never that's sort of unforgivable from the parents side of the years. Two.
Yes, yeah, because you've lost all of that time. But when you're seventeen, yeah, and you've yeah, got that's fuck.
Wow, Let's do one more and then we'll reconvene.
Okay, are we going dark or who? Because they're all dark? Okay, they're all dark, But they're all pretty dark.
I mean, this one's this one's dark but fucked, but just it's also revolting. It's revolting. Okay, okay. I had a drunken argument with my traveling buddy when we were in Asia together years ago. She became physical and started shoving me around and became incredibly intimidating, screaming in my face, et cetera. We all know that person, and they've had too many drinks, they get very confrontational. I left the bar we were at and went back to our hostel room.
I was so annoyed at her. I scrubbed the unsanitary Asian toilet in our room with her toothbrush. Despite my horror at realizing what I'd done. In the morning, I didn't tell her. She came down with the worst diarrhea in vomiting in the evening after ended up on a drip in some tourist hospital. She was in hospital for about three days. Woops. This is like the time I told you. I'm sure I've said this on the podcast before.
I put snot in my brother's French onion dip once when we were kids, because you know, French onion dips got those bits in it, oh, like the old school round tub. I picked my nose and it was a perfect consistency. I put it in there, and I sat in the lound room because he pissed me off about something, and we're watching TV and I just watched him with a box of boys. He ate the fucking whole thing, and you know that he was at the end trying to scoop every bit from it. I've told him that though that.
Is so messed up. I would prefer not to know. If I was him, me too, Oh that is so funny. Yeah, all right, that's your little luck a dip today. Everyone. Thank you for listening in. As always, we appreciate you, and yeah, we'll be back very soon.
Bye for now, plum you