Get there, get a and how you going your little legends? We bloody love you.
It's almost Friday.
This song mouse Fridi, it's all MOUs fridie.
God.
I wish I could sing, imagine I could sing.
Woah, intros wouldn't be so good. You wouldn't do it if you could really sing, because you know, like the other.
A couple of weeks ago, there was Travis Kelcey and Taylor Swift singing along to that song with the American Open, the US Open the Tennis. Did you not see that footage because they were just like loving life, singing their faces off, and I'm like, she's singing into his face, like and she's such a great singer, do you know what I mean? Like if Sam and I were singing, it would sound like horseshit, but he probably sounds like horseshit.
And then she's just got these like what's her just mucking around singing voice?
You know, still be good. There's actually nothing better than a communal you know, I hate communal clapping? Oh you hate communal clapping. I love a communal sing along. Do you like a song like Sweet Caroline?
Oh? Now that's what fucking disgusting. What do you mean, just I'd prefer a clap along, then sweet Cat and then people going boom boom bomb.
Oh you like that. I love the communal sing along or Tiny Dancer. Oh that's another great communal sing along. Oh no, I love it.
I like a communal sing along, but not to those songs. They're the worst song to one song, I don't know, maybe like it has to.
You know what else you would like?
Simply the Bad?
No, no love Tina hate that song?
Yeah? Same, yeah, yeah, I don't I like simply the Bad, but I don't know. No, I'm partial to sing along, but I just like I would prefer a like. If you are so anti communal clap it surprises me that you're so open to a communal sing along like they're.
On par I'm going to set up the scenario for you. Yeah, you're all in a taxi on the way home, and the taxi driver has a song on, let's say Tiny Dancer by Elton John's on, and someone says, I love this song. Can you turn it up? And they turn it up and you all are a bit pissed, Yeah, and you all start singing along to it.
Yeah, that's fun. I'm not having singing Sweet Caroline though.
Yeah. All right, well I went and saw Mill Diamond in concert.
Did you I remember when he was out here? It was so long ago. Yeah, that's really funny. Hey, how's this? The other day? Sam calls me, He's like, I just saw the weirdest thing. It was a traffic jam. There's only one road in and out of town, and so
there's traffic jams often. But he's there was a traffic jam, and he said everyone was slowing right down and then looking up at a certain point that you can see the people in front of you looking at and he goes along, and then on the telephone wire was a snake coiled like really high up, coiled all the way around, but perched up and like kissing because birds were trying to get at it. I'm like, that's like a fucking David Attenborough like documentary.
Okay, I'm going to make myself vulnerable and sound very dumb here. How do they not get electrocuted? I don't know, I think, and I feel like that's something stupid, like people are going to go, oh my god, you idiot. But I always wonder that when I see birds.
But I guess the wires are inside the thickness of their outside, you know what I mean. But if we went and touched it, surely no, we wouldn't get no.
Okay, I guess maybe that's what they mean when they say it's a live wire, like if it comes off and it's sort of snaking around because it's an opening. Maybe, But how did the snake get up there? They're very high, it's slippered.
Oh, I was thinking in my head. I'm like, it's gone up a pole and then gone onto the wire. But it wouldn't. It would have been in a high tree and got onto it from a high tree. That makes more sense.
Maybe, I just for someone who's quite anxious. You're like, you're quite relaxed with that. Like I could never live where you live because of that reason. Like you sent me a video. You've sent me a few videos of snakes in the backyard. I'm like, yeah, I would be so terrified to let the kids go out there and play for that reason. Why funny?
I feel like my anxiety is weird, Like I feel like the things that most people are anxious about, I'm not. Yeah you're not, but I have hectic anxiety. Do you know what I mean, you know.
What it is? This is it? Oh my god, I just had like a light bulb moment. Tell me, Probably your anxiety is around things that you can control, whereas like mine would be more around things I can't control. No, that's not right. What a fucking epiphany I've read lost?
Your epiphany is are always so let down? I guess maybe, like say, for example, I think when my son walks home from school, there's this stretch of road there I don't like, Yes, and I always think to myself, what if someone's on their phone and they because there's no nature strip separating the road from the foot path. I fucking hate that. Yes, And I'm like, what if someone hit him on the way home? That's our of my control? But I like, do is it ruminate? Is that the
way I ruminate on it? Yes? You get fixated on stuff like you've given examples before about buying a rug. Yes, it's like like that is controllable, whereas if someone was to hit your kid on the way home, it's out of your control. Yeah, so weird. Maybe it's a control freak thing, But.
I just don't because the thing is, I think about things like that like the safety of my kids, and I don't worry about that at all. Yeah, like I don't or getting on a plane. I don't like when there's turbulence, but I don't have a fear of Like I don't fear flying. That's for years and years and years. I'm like, I don't have anxiety. I have depression. I don't have anxiety because for me it manifests really quite
differently than your typical anxiety. But I do. I ruminate on certain things and I get quite obsessive about it. Like I was telling you, I'm pulling together. There are a summer six's soccer team for my son, and it's consuming me to the point that SAMs like I don't want to hear about this fucking team for twenty four hours because you are obsessing about it. I'm like, yeah, you're right, because I can't find enough players for it, so I don't want to then let my son down.
Like see how you can hear me? Yeah, spiraling, it's a fucking Summer six's team. It's gonna come together. But for me, it's really overwhelming.
And again that's something that you can control. Put me on live television or live radio and I could give zero shits. I have no anxiety doing that. I wonder if it's like a decision making thing, like a fear of not making the right decision or disappointing someone or something like that.
It's so weird.
I cannot Yeah, because it has gotten it has gotten worse. It's the way worse.
But I think it's gotten so much worse lately because my health is I've never had a worse year with my health. I'm rarely out of bed at the moment, which Brooke and I are going to do another episode for those who listen to our one on chronic health a little while ago. We've decided we'll do some more reps, so I won't go on about it in this one. But yeah, I'm rarely out of bed at the moment, and you have a lot of time to lay there and.
Think, looking and normal.
And I've always worked, like yeah, I've always worked. And you're like, that's rocked you so much? It has is that's been the biggest thing. I think it has been. It's too much free time, free space to me, free time, and I don't have so I don't have anything else to put my attention into. So something like this fucking soccer team is like taking all of my attention, where normally that wouldn't Why would that matter, Like, it sounds insane to me to worry about that.
It's your thing that you're getting like a sense of purpose out of it. Might just be a team, but it's it's all so about the happiness of your son and wanting to make it work for him and feeling like you've accomplished it. It's you know, so.
God, that just sounds so depressing and sad.
No, I don't think it does it all because mums spend their lives doing that.
I was talking to a friend's mum the other day. It was really good chat because she said, you're in a stage of transition, and it's really unsettling when you're in a stage of transition, And.
I said, that's what it is.
I am like because I still have obviously a very young son who really like I'm I've got two older kids and the younger one, but I'm still very much in the thick of mothering. Like there's no way I can't be mothering my kids. So I'm not in the next phase of where my kids are older and what is it now? But a part I feel like a part of my career that I've did for twenty years has come to an end. So I'm like, well, what's
next there? My health is so bad that everything is on hold at the moment, and I'm trying it, and she's like, you almost got to look at it your health part, which I'm not airy fairy at all, but she's like, it's almost like a healing where you were healing stuff. I feel like I do have PTSD from losing mum, yeah, and also stuff I've gone through with
my eldest son. Yeah, And I feel like I haven't been able to breathe for about four years and now it's almost like my body and everything has gone well, No, we're going to heal this and this is how we're going to do it. I have to think of it like that, otherwise it's too depressing where I'm like I can't do anything because my health is so bad and
the job I loved is no longer there. But I hate that Sam will get home from a day of work and have all of this stuff to say about his day, and I'm like, well, I got in touch with Rosie about her son playing soccer and that's my fucking what I've done that day. I mean, I've done a million other things, but in terms of, you know, doing something that resembles any form of work, but it's.
All boring stuff to you.
Yeah, it's all boring, so boring.
I think you bang on when you say about PTSD around losing your mum. I remember when Stacy messaged me and I was like, oh my god, that's it, this is She's going to completely fall apart. But you sort of would. I hate when people use the word strong, but you were so much stronger than I thought, and you carried on even right up until the end when she was sick. We were still podcasting, and I remember thinking,
I don't even know how you're doing it. Like work to me was the only relief I had when mum
was sick. And I remember I started doing the project when Mum was sick, and it was the best thing for me because it was like a day, you know, I was probably doing it every week, a day where I couldn't think of anything because it was new and my brain had to use, you know, I had to be on and learning things, and it was like such a mental break, and same as doing radio it was like hours where I couldn't think of anything because I had to be on and same as podcasting, so that
was my only relief. And I remember when Mum died. Remember I'm always like I'm going to go into an asylum, like that's Iteah, my life's gonna end when Mum dies. I did so much therapy role Mum was sick though that I remember saying to my therapist like, I'm feeling so much stronger than I am, and she's like, you've done a lot of the hard work. Yeah, maybe you're just you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for,
so you could work through it. Yeah, I don't know, but I do think that work is a major thing for you, mate. But I think that you've also got to look at it like just because something's ended doesn't mean they aren't exciting things to come. It's hard because it's almost like you've got to get it. There's no
fire for anything, no, which is the hard thing. There's no feeling of passion for anything, but even just small moments in the day of learning, like I know it, like everybody in my life takes the piss out of me for how I google shit all the time. But I'm like, I think that's me trying to stimulate myself, Like I'm trying to learn stuff because if I don't have that, I could never sit silent with my thoughts.
That would be very dangerous for me to do. Yeah, so I think maybe filling just small pockets of time with I don't know what, but yeah, I know something.
I mean like the other day, I was like, I'm gonna start painting again because it's such great meditation. And I can't commit to doing anything because I'm too unreliable at the moment. Like the amount of times you and I have to swap our days podcasting because I'm unwell, it's ludicrous. Where if I was, you know, had a job doing something, there's no way I could at the moment, Like my health's too bad and I just have to have hope that I'll get that under control.
But it's just it is.
And but a lot of women I speak to at this age you are in this weird transition phase as well, of like is because we're middle aged and my friend's mum is like, they're kind of like mid life crisises like and I'm like, you fucking does feel a bit like that.
And there's a pressure at this age like hang on, I'm getting older, yeah, times running out to do maybe stuff I want to do. Yeah, So you feel this pressure, but you're not able to sit and enjoy anything either. It's like this, And.
It's also like you realize that's not going to happen in this lifetime. That's you know, when you're younger, everything's a possibility. Yeah, it doesn't feel like everything's a possibility now. So there's things that I'm like, oh, that's not going to happen in this lifetime. That's not gonna that's not
where that's going to go in this life. Depends what it is, absolutely like it's not all doom and gloom, and I'm not one hundred years old, but there are certain things when you're realistic about it, that it's like, well, that's not going to happen now, Like, yeah, kids, you've got commitments. That's not in your reality.
I had this conversation with my kids the other day in the car. You know, when you try and tell your kids about you know, like really do what you want with school, Like you've got so many choices, you know, like it's so exciting you can be anything you want. You can go down any career path you want. And I said to them, it's like if Dad and I decided we were smart enough to say, oh, we want to become doctors and lawyers. Right, let's just use that
as an example. We couldn't go to school now and do it because we have a mortgage and we have to work, and that time has run out for that. But there's still things I think we can be excited about. It's just totally within certain parameters. And you've also accrued a lot of wisdom and a lot of skills that you don't even realize that you have. Do you remember when we did an episode years ago and we had to describe each other in three words?
I do remember.
One of the words I used for you was magnetic. That's something that you've just got. I don't have it anywhare It's in you. Yes, you do. You do. Anyone who spends time with you knows it. And I think even the health side of things will start to get better once you start feeling a bit better as well. I think you're always going to be a migraine sufferer.
I think I am too.
But this is like, but the level it is now. Yes, something has to shift. Fuck, I know. I read this thing the other day that was saying how there are so many different versions of you, and everyone sees a different version of you, but your version of yourself is the most unrealistic because you're judging yourself on your own thoughts. Nobody else is hearing you stuff. So you might be sitting at home going, fuck, the kids are pissing me off. I wish I could just get on a plane and
fucking go somewhere else. Yes, you're judging yourself for feeling shit about that thought, but no one else can hear that. So people that have seen you are like, fuck, she's fun, Oh my god, she cracks good jokes. Oh she comes up with shits so quick. They're not hearing your internal monologue.
That's total, which I totally get. But I just anyway, clearly am not in the best place at the moment.
But this, I.
Guess is us It's just we never hide anything.
No.
Yeah, I think I feel really trapped. I feel really trapped in this chronic health issue. That is like when you say magnetic, I feel completely the opposite of that. I feel like my spark's gone and I feel like I'm bringing everyone else's spark. I'm just putting that out as well. I'm like, this isn't me. I don't want to be this. Somebody go, do you want to go for a walk? I'm like, I can't. I'm in bed.
And I'm normally so embarrassed to even say it because it's so often where now I'm like, fuck it, I don't even care. I'm so fucking um Well, it's not funny.
You've got to let go of the feeling embarrassed about it.
Yeah, I know it sounds silly to be. But then and then I'm like, God, I just just need to I want to do something else for my purpose, but I can't at the moment, like it's someone realistic for me to be able to do anything. So I just feel really really trapped. Yeah, and yeah, and that anyway, it's so boring, It's so unbelievably boring.
It's not boring, it's just having a huge impact on you. Anyway. I think this is a point in time that things will get better. The number one thing out of everything is just getting your health under controlally, that's the number one thing.
Yeah, I'm flying to Sydney in a couple of weeks to see like a professor and stuff. I'm like, fuck, my anxiety around that is where it's bad, because I'm like, I don't even know if I'm gonna be well enough to get on the plane to go and see this person who you have to see face to face the first Otherwise I could just zoom, but I have to get there, and so I'm like, I'm not going to be able to you know. Or Sam's like the biggest Geelong supporter you've ever seen, and it's like they're playing
in Melbourne and he just looks at me. He's like, Ah, won't go because I can't. I can't say yeah, go because I get sick. And then what we do we do with the kids? Like there's no plans that can be made in our life at the moment, like none. This poor guy is stuck with this fucking woman who is you just can't rely on for anything at the moment.
Listen. I think I heard Kaitling Brook say this in a podcast once and it's so true. She said, it's like when people say for better or worse in sickness and in health, you don't actually really think.
No way I would have left him so long ago. If it was wrong, mate, you wouldn't have It's pretty fucking grim for him when I'm like, he'll just go to text I'm in bed, and it's almost like he's just got on repeat. I'm sorry, babe, don't know what to say, like.
Oh, you know you listen, you wouldn't you wouldn't have left him. That's what love is. But there's also you know, it's annoying. It's probably annoying for him, so annoying, but it's annoying for you. You've been through times where he's been annoying.
Yeah, it's part of this consistently long fuck. Okay, we've got to talk about something else before this podcasting. I don't reckon anyone's listening now, of course they are.
You know how many people would be feeling the same way. This is a very very complicated time in the lives of women our age.
Yeah it so, you know, what have you got?
What are you? Well, let's kick it up to something really stupid. Yeah. I only recently found out, and this is embarrassing that sinkholes are a real thing.
Yeah right, did you think they were just in the movies? I don't know.
What I thought they were. I think I thought when I saw them. Oh, it must have been a collapse of some sort, but not like a natural thing that could occur at any time anywhere.
Pretty wild. Fuck Like, unless you saw one, it's hard for your mind to Like, I don't feel pictures give it a justice.
Do you know what they actually are?
No?
Yeah, Like I'm no geologis, I don't really get it. But it's something about just under the surface of the ground, something about water being trapped in there not being able to get out, and then it all goes soft and it just opens up right into as we've seen these huge holes. Yes, you know, the biggest one ever recorded was in China. It was six hundred and sixty two meters down, down down, Like does he sink hole? Deep down? Yeah?
Wow?
All right, fucking here comes word police again. You mean deep not down? God, I was thinking length wise but you were but deep. Yeah. Wow, that's a long way down.
And so then what's at the bottom of it?
Just earth? Just earth? And then don't think how far down is because you know they say under us is water. How far down is the water?
Yeah?
How far down? Do you have to drill? Shit?
Like that just weirds me out. I just prefer to stick my head into the sinkhole ground and you go.
It's too hard. And I think you know when people use that expression like, oh my god, I was so embarrassed. I just wish the ground would open up and swallow me. And I'm like, don't say that, actually.
Could How did you find out that it is real?
Because I think I saw again on Instagram a vision of a sinkhole that it opened up somewhere and people were like getting out and getting real close to it to look and take photos. And I was like, is this like a thing that could just happen anywhere? So I googled what is a sinkhole? Right? And then I started reading and then it's just another thing speaking of anxiety to be anxious about it, yes, but speaking of
weird ways that you could die. Sometimes I look through my phone and in one of my one hundred and thirty nine tabs I have open in my phone because sometimes I see something and I think I'll save that. Maybe we could use it to talk about on the podcast or whatever. Was a headline from twenty and twenty one, and the headline was Malawi man dies of excessive orgasm after visiting sex worker. Oh wow, this is not like
one of those bullshit headlines. So listen to this. This thirty five year old guy called Charles Majawa, he visited a sex worker and things were apparently going very well for him. When he got to the finale, he got so excited that the blood vessels in his brain burst and he fell unconscious and died. So on his official cause of death, the post mortem report says he died of excessive orgasm. Fuck of his life? Can you believe that?
And then at the bottom of the article, they cited this study that was saying that as much as people say having regular sex is good for you, that there was some study that was done in twenty sixteen that said, especially for men over a certain age I don't know what that age was, but not elderly, having sex once a week or more actually heightens your risk of cardiovascular problems. Like during sex. I was like, oh my god. I read it to Mark and He's like, no, buying it.
I don't believe that's bullshit. You'll believe anything.
Imagine that poor sex worker though, going oh my god, this guy has just died. Imagine just like are you all right? And then just nothing out of all the ways you want to die. You don't like his family now know that he died from a big spoof, you know what I mean? Like that's embarrassing.
I think a lot of people and a lot of people, but I think quite a few people have gone that way. Look, I'm sure Matthew McConaughey says his dad died died while he was having sex with his mum. I think he had a heart attack.
That is just so awful, isn't it. Would you prefer to die on the toilet like alvastit or die during sex?
During sex?
I think, and everyone knows, Yeah, I'd rather that, Nah.
Because on the toilet again, yeah, you think of who it's so like it's the most undignified but also very common, Like people have heart attacks on the toilet all the time, with the straining and whatever. Oh my god, And we've circled right back to shit. All right, everyone, we're out of here. A little weirder podcast.
You never know what you're going to get. I love that we write down let's talk about this, this, this and this, and then we didn't get to any of it ever. Thanks for listening. We love that you guys are a part of our podcast listeners.
And we'll chat to you soon. I love you.