Eat Your Journal

All right, We're ready.

All right, okay, hello Young, Hello Yong.

It is Show and Tell Time. It's mel Land, It's Monty.

You sound like you're in a good mood.

Oh you Literally before we turn on the mics, I was crying and then we turn them on and I'm like, boo, hello, oh I know, oh so funny, you know what, because we're like Perry is realm Like now you messaged me before we recorded and you're like started beating record and You're like, got my period. It's gonna be a.

Fun with my energy is going to be top notch. We've talked about this before, but I think we're both very early because we're not really getting physical stuff yet. The psychological shit fuck.

The psychological so real because people are like, oh, yeah, cycles regular. I'm like, yeah, they're regular. Yeah, And I don't have but I don't have yet, night sweats, I don't have drive, a job, which is your worst tart man. Like certain physical things like that I don't have, but the psychological side of it, and I'm just like this, i feel like I'm not me. Yeah, that's what it feels like. And I also take medication for anxiety and depression and it takes the highs away and it takes

You know what it's almost like as well. I think this time in our lives with like that, it's you know, unpredictable. The hormones are fluctuating and stuff. I'll just speak for myself, but like it's like I ovulate and then the two weeks after that is like a downwood. I'm on a

Okay, yeah, yeah, and you just so you feel a bit ripped off, Yeah, okay, oh here we going in Yeah, and I'm always shocked because I don't try. I only this month started tracking my period because I've gone to a hormone specialist who you put me onto. You said, get a blood test at day twenty one. So I've had to track because every month I'm shocked when my period comes because the week before I'm a raging, fucking bitch. I'm so irritable, grumpy, my migraines. But I'm always shocked

But you know, I think this is the case with both of us too, that your estrogen was high. I had started with the estrogen gel and whatever, but then I had blood work done in that phase sort of a few days before my period was due, and she's like, your estrogen is way too high, so I've got to stop that. But the issue is that there's potentially not enough progesterone, so it's like balancing the hormone. Oh my god, so to get it right, to get the balance right, But how hard is that.

I'm like, it's like getting your ADHD medication amount right. It's like your trial and error.

And that's the added thing it's like that doesn't feel like it's working either. It's like everything yeah, like just I think because everything's out of balance. Yes, yeah, it's just this chaotic energy. I think we're all feeling and it's a time of our lives that is really difficult to be feeling that because we've got kids that we need to you know, manage and do shit for. We've got like other stuff we've got to do, work, whatever,

Yes, yes, I feel like that our generation, Like I was walking with a girlfriend the other day and he said, I feel like like our mum's clearly all went through this, but it wasn't. It just wasn't spoken about that much. Just feel like they just got on with shit. But also they had kids younger, so when they were perry or going through metopause, they had adult kids, where I've still got I've got a three year old, you know, like I'm so fucking in the thick of it, and

It is so unfair, and everyone talks about it like, oh, it's all exploding now. I think it's just women sort of suffered in silence for so long I agree.

That's why my grandmothers, they all there's no way that this is a new thing. It is just that we are so much more open and going. I feel really terrible. I feel out of control, terrible. Yes, it's such an awful feeling because you can't do like a journal. Like I was telling you, you're like, imagine somebody where you fucking oh, it is the rambling of a mad like mad now, it's insane. I just get like, and I wholeheartedly think it's a great idea for everyone to do.

I'll keep doing it. I would just be like burning that ship.

Afterwards, I just rip out the pages and chuck them in the bin.

Fuck, no, don't chuck them in the bin. Anyone could read that.

I read them, so I remember, You're like, I'll stick yours back together.

I would I would, you know what, I wouldn't even trust burning it. I'd like eat it and then.

I would.

So terrified. Oh my god, imagine.

Yeah, because you got you get really honest. Like some days I'm like why the sam like yeah, I know, yeah, I'm jealous. So and so today they're so like the thoughts.

Do you know what it is? They're childish. They're like when we were kids, when you see a toddler, you're out of you feel out of control of your emotions. In the same way as Toddler is. I want that. I don't want that. That's how you feel, but you're cognizant enough to realize that that's how you're acting, and you fucking hate yourself for it. Yeah, blame it on the hormones.

It's not our fault. It's not our fold at all. To a lot to note. I did go to Pilati this morning and listen to John farn And the whole way there greatest hits.

Having a bit of a John Farnam renaissance as well. Oh are you really that song burned for you?

Oh my god, I put that on at the end. He wrote it for his wife, you know.

I mean to say, after that long I burned for you for you?

Yeah, I mean he did write it, probably forty years ago.

Yeah, and you know maybe it was a makeup. No, I shouldn't say that.

Yeah, Well there were always rumors, weren't there, with a kind of It's.

Like bon Jovi that song always or whatever. He wrote that as an apology because he fucked someone else.

Like, oh god, I had a friend who whenever he would suck it, he didn't fuck somebody else, but when he would fuck up, like say, I was going to do something or didn't do it. He would always take her to get a massage or buy a typically a piece of so whenever they'd be somewhere with us and then they go, we're going for a massage. To'd be like, oh, he's up, he's done something wrong. Yeah, we knew, we'd always it was so typical and all of us knew. Yeah, like Jess fucked up a lot. Doesn't he get a

Of anpickness, too strong hearts. Oh not a fan of chain reaction. I gotta say it. Didn't like that, but oh my god, yeah, pressure down. You're the voice.

Oh what else did I? Yeah? Too strong huts. We stick together like the Urnie.

And I know it's not necessarily John Farnam. I know it's a little river band, but playing to win, I don't know that. Yes, you do know it. I inserted in here so everyone can hear it.

But you do know what you don't see it hate it. Okay, Yeah, I know that one, but I wish you had a sun.

It's not happening.

Okay. So earlier this week, Travis Kelsey's legal team flew into action. Did you see this story mail? No? Okay. So obviously he and mcgirl called Taylor Swish to together. I'm not sure if you've heard that. I don't know

So hang on, you're saying it's like a legal document that they are not actually like, it's almost like a publicity thing. Is that what you mean?

Yes, there is a lot of couples. I've got a friend who's who is a producer in Hollywood essentially, who is like there are so many marriages of convenience because of the people who don't want to be known as gay or for different reasons, because it will be good for their publicity, good for their career. Like to us, we go, no, that's not true. It happens all the fucking time, and they're legal contracts that they sign.

The Taylor Swift thing that you just said doesn't seem that shocking to me there. Maybe it's just because I'm not that way though I shouldn't say this, but they're display of like her running and jumping onto him and stuff. I look at that, and I'm like, who's like that? It seems like overkill.

I think she. I feel like she's like that with all has been like that with all of her boyfriends. Some are like that in a new relationship. A lot of people are like that.

I have never ever run and jumped into Mark's arms. I can confidently say that.

Neither of I. But also, Mark's not the size of Kelsey. Yeah, maybe if he was, if he was that big, it could be fun to jump onto it.

If I ran up to Mark and jumped onto him and like wrap my legs around him. He would he'd go backwards and probably hit his head.

Yeah, Sam, like stumble really hectically back.

Nah, Sam would take you you're tiny, not talking about No.

Sam wouldn't know because a couple of times I've like tried to hook myself up, not like in the loving way, but he's like, like, I'm not. It's not easy for him to hold me, Like he's not throwing me around the room. Yeah. Anyway, I just found it, and I don't I don't think it's an array or you know, a contractual relationship between them, because she's so fucking huge.

We're not was it the looks thing?

Of the looks thing? I just he again was over the top, like he couldn't have a sentence without saying, deb deb this, deb that, deb this. It's like he trained himself on what a husband would say.

I just found it odd, But that sounds to me more like maybe a couple who were just really codependent, Like he just couldn't do anything without her whatever, and.

Maybe like that is probably completely sexist and fucked. I think it's the age thing too. I don't know, I always I don't know.

It's just we're living in weird times, I think, where you just don't even know what to beeve anymore. What there's ai and all that shit, whatever the fuck all that means, but you.

Just don't know how real because there's it was like Will and Jada apparently had like a relationship that wasn't real that they've always kind of spoken out and said it how different their relationship is. But yeah, I remember hearing that theirs was a contract.

I listened to a really interesting episode if you know that podcast, Diary of a CEO. No, Oh, it's this massive and you should get onto it, but they're very

A settlement and come of something and you.

Hear that and straight away I'm like, what an asshole? But then I'm like, she signed it, Yeah, she's yes. So it sort of shows where people's values are in relationships.

They'd be so much there'd be so much shit like that that I see, I straight away go bullshit. But it's like, no, people, it's fucking weird, as.

I know, And you add all that money into it, and then how could you be faithful? I think more of a guy around this, But like, imagine you're a musician or something and you've got just hot women throwing themselves at you all the time. That would be that would be really hard to resist.

You're on the road all the time, or same as athletes. I think that too, where it's like you just have fucking it would just be what is it called like the the amount of numbers, Like you'd get to the point where you go, I'd knocked back one hundred women one look, I know, do you know what I mean? Like you'd be like this trip mate, I've had literally five hundred women here I haven't done it. I've been really good. I'll just do this bird.

You know what I would love to feel one day. There's this clip I saw on Instagram the other day. It was like Elvis just before he went out for his last concert, right and they start playing the music that it usually came out to, and he's just sort of there's a curtain and he's just waiting to go on stage and you can see him sort of getting himself ready. They open the curtain, he walks out.

And here everyone, just.

Imagine how you would feel doing that?

Oh God, you would How would you stay in any form of reality?

You couldn't. I just want to feel it for a second.

Yeah, just you feel like God, being.

A celebrity would be the pits, but my god, to feel that feeling of just.

And also because you're literally talented too, It's like what you're doing people like you are not a reality star who's just got do you know what I mean? I know you're a really fucking great musician. Or put holding your microphone out to the out and they sing all your lyrics back. But I wish I was a singer. I agree. I hate to hear them seeing.

I know I don't want to hear the crowd singer.

If you were the singer, it would feel pretty part fucking epic.

It would. But I also think they do that because they can't hit the notes. Maybe, Oh, come on, yeah I do, I do.

Hey, how's this? This is a really really random story, but it's a celeb story. So my mum used to organize events and stuff like that, and she used to do a lot at big hotels. She became friends with one of the women who worked at the hotel. Anyway, my mum was bumping in for something that's terms of like, you know, setting up for a big conference or something like that, and they were in I don't know if it was Melbourne or Sydney, like a Crown or something

That would suggest to me sleeping habits are weird.

That is so strange to me. I'm like, I don't understand why he did that, Like why did he want that, like no salm of light in there? And I'm like, maybe because he didn't want any helicopters getting pictures. Maybe.

I mean, who fucking knows, because hotel rooms get pretty dark, like usually they've got double yes, you know.

They get super dark. But no, it was extra blackout. I'm just picture cardboard all over the windows. I'm sure it or something a bit more.

Speaking of that, I saw a fucking brilliant hack the other day for like, say you're going away somewhere and the window coverings aren't great, but you like say your kids can only sleep in when it's real dark or something like that aluminum foil, you spray water on the glass and then you put four blacks.

It all loud. That's really good, isn't it. That's I hate a light room.

Oh mate, my house is all light. We've got to go. We've got to get all our curtains and stuff done, which is awful, but my god, it's horrible. Lost.

Those timber Venetians, Yeah, but they they're okay, No, they're not up. So have the Venetian facing up.

And then cleaning those things.

A Venetian is not fun, not fun at all. But if I was a morning person and like to wake up to the light, that would be so beautiful. I feel like that's a really positive person who just laughs waking up naturally to the sun.

I sleep with a pillow over my head and I reckon. Part of that is it's become just a thing I do now. But maybe part of that has to do with blocking out light too. Because I wear eyemasks, they never stay on. I can never keep shit.

I must now they'll stay on. I have to move put them on a couple of times during the night, but it's just the job. It's pitch black in there.

Really, Yeah, maybe I've just got shit ones.

Just before we head off, I want to tell you this script story about Carrie. I've told so many stories about Kerry. She's the endless saucer of stories. But she was saying how the other day her cleaner has really really long dreadlocks. Yeah right, And the other day she gets a call from her cleaner. Carry's not at her house left the cleaner clean picks up the call, and the cleaning is it's like an upset and she's like, Kerrie,

Can you ask Kez what brand of vacuum cleaner that is? Because if that has if that suction is that good, I want that vacuum cleaner because I just turn it off.

No, it was like so full on that it was obviously I don't know if it got stuck in a way that the vacuum cleaner wouldn't turn off. I didn't get much of it. All I got was, fuck, McLean's got to leave. Her dreadlocks got sucked up by the vacuum cleaner that was still attached to her head.

Do you know what I reckon? It is?

What?

Okay? But now I want to know more because if it's what I think it is, how did she get herself in that scenario? I think it's probably you know, when you're vacuuming, the head of the vacuum has like the spinny bit so it's like it, you know, sometimes like I look and I'm like, oh fuck, there's a lot of hair.

In there, like in the spinny bit.

Yes, her hair must have got caught in the spinny.

Be gone around the spinny bit.

Maybe what was she doing for it to get because that's flush with the floor the vacuum.

Maybe she was leaning down to pick up something and then it got caught like they're long, and then it got caught under there, or like.

She left it on and it wasn't actually on the floor. It was like it was on the floor but not face down. It was just it was on but tilted and she went it.

Yeah, she went to move a dog's toy maybe and then got sucked in there.

I don't know, I feel a new segment coming on. I feel like we're gonna call it Kez's Corner.

Jesus Corner. What fucked up? She's got so many stories, it's wild.

Oh my god.

Remember babysitter the babysitter have you got? Do you remember that? Where she her parents left them for two weeks, got a babysitter out of the newspaper hald She went hit Harrod on the back of his head when it was on the couch with a pink slipper getting a babysitter out of the newspaper for you to go for two weeks?

Two week? Was it two weeks?

Who weeks?

Jesus, I know.

I love it all right, everyone, we're out of here. Thanks for listening, Give us a rating or share our podcast with your friends. That's such a huge help. We appreciate your ear bowls, which atsu love yous