Config This... - podcast episode cover

Config This...

Oct 16, 202423 minSeason 3Ep. 496
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Episode description

This week, Mel shares something toxic she recently discovered about herself and Monty tells us something funny she noticed about the sales assistant during a recent couch purchase. There's also anti-bucket list, guilty pleasures, the joy of dancing and the kindness of strangers. Enjoy!

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Transcript

Speaker 1

Hello, Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to the pododcast Today.

Speaker 2

It's Melan Monty.

Speaker 1

Yeah, yeah, hello, hello everyone, Thanks for listening into the pod. If you're a regular, Hi guys, if you knew Hi guys.

Speaker 2

Well don't remember. Not long ago they said you shouldn't use guys anymore.

Speaker 1

Oh can't you use guys? I feel guys as unisex though, that's what I think. Hmm anyway, okay, whatever, I'm using it. Whatever, Yeah, same, Hey how'd you go? Your husband went away for? How long did Mark go away?

Speaker 2

It was only a week. Yeah, I was still a fair crack of the whip or yeah. But here's the thing. It made me realize something toxic about myself. So he loves Formula one. Anyway, he goes to the Grand Prix when it's in Melbourne. But you know, like the idea of going somewhere and another country is exciting. Anyway, So

his cousin was going to the Singapore Grand Prix. Okay, so months before he's sort of like he came up to me and he's like, oh, Phil's getting tickets to the Grand Prix in Singapore, And you know when they just say that, I dropped it and I'm like, what do you want to go? Is that what you're saying? And he's like, yeah, probably would be good. And I said go because you know, we've had a few fucked years, yes, and he's also worked incredibly hard for a long time.

I never goes away. I'm like, just fucking do it. I make and he's like, oh, yeah, but I don't know. It's a lot of money, blah blah blah, and I'm like, just fucking just do it. I'm telling you do it. So he did it, and then he went, and then I stewed at home that way.

Speaker 1

Did you were you were punished when you spoke to him on the phone.

Speaker 2

I wasn't a punish but I was very sort of sounds like you're a punish No. Well, I was trying to not be that way, telling him like, stop checking in, okay, we're fine, enjoy yourself, because he couldn't understand the concept of when I said to him, aren't you excited just to do something on your own? We haven't really done that before, other than if you have stayed at a hotel. We've never been away without the kids, but you haven't

or I've never known you to be away without each other. Never. Yeah, So I'm like, there's no conversation about, oh, where do you want to eat? Having a deal with shit. I'm like, isn't that exciting. He's like, I'm not doing it to get away from that. I'm doing it because I want to go to the Grand Prix. And I'm like, yes, I know, but isn't it exciting that you can better than the Grand Prix?

Speaker 1

Just being able to be selfish, not think of kids, not thinking of your partner.

Speaker 2

What are we having for dinner? Nothing? Right? But he would have to do that with Phil. Yeah, well there was actually it ended up being a group of them. But it's a group of guys. Yeah. I don't fucking care, and you can just dip out if you want, right, But this is when we talk about toxic traits. By the time he got home, I felt resentful. Oh yeah, I said to him, I'm not angry at you because I wanted you to go. I'm angry at myself because I feel resentful that I've never done that and I

probably won't do it. No, you definitely won't because you don't get on a plane. No. But even if it was let's say you came down oh, actually that's lawn for two nights, two nights. Yeah, but just that thought of I would my mind would still be at home. I feel guilty because what if the kids need me? What if this? What if that? That I can't allow myself to do it. But I'm still annoyed, and I'm like, I don't mean to direct it at you, and he's like, well, if you want to do something, do it, do Yeah.

So I'm annoyed at myself not allowing it should be it's very irrational. As your psychiatrist said the other day, just don't care, don't care less, careless. But it's also which I shouldn't care about. It is different for a mum. It's different a mom going away to a dad going away. And I'm when I say different, I mean it's perceived differently. Yeah, I guess you know.

Speaker 1

It's perceived a bit differently. Yeah, like a lot of dads I know here go on surf trips a lot, Like go over to Indo and do surf.

Speaker 2

Trips a lot.

Speaker 1

And I'm like, it is raarer for a mum to go on a trip without her family, I feel, but god, women need it totally. I feel like in my family. It's a bit different because I like, Sam doesn't go away as much, but if I have to go away for work, I'll always tag on an extra night and have a night. Like if I have to go to Melbourne for work, I'll be like, well that's one night, but I'll take sorry, one or two nights, but I'll take three. Yeah, And I don't I feel more guilty

to Sam than I do the kids. The kids I'm like, see a fuckers. But to him, I'm like, oh, I'm leaving you with those fucking friend poinsters.

Speaker 2

I know, but you know what, the dynamic is probably different when you're not there. Oh it is. I feel like, you know, I feel like it's easier when I'm not there because kids play up more when the mum's there. Like it's proven, yeah, is it really? Yeah? I actually had it noted down ages ago to be one of my fucking notebooks. There was a study that came out that kids are something like something like eighty percent nawdier or more difficult when the mum's there. Yeah.

Speaker 1

Right, So I mean, because it's always interesting when your kids go somewhere and they'll come home and be like parents will be like his manners are so amazing. He's such a great kid. And I'm like, what, no, but that's what you want. Oh, that is totally what you want. And they're like, you're doing a good job. If your kids actually play up in our assholes at home, at least they're not doing it out in public. I just wish mine would be a little less assholey at home.

Speaker 2

Yeah. I know, but you're the safe space. Yeah. True. We're couch shopping at the moment. So I bought a couch.

Speaker 1

I told you ages ago off Instagram and it was like a Nana's seventy couch. Anyway, it arrived, it was asthetically quite pleasing.

Speaker 2

But it was the most uncomfortable.

Speaker 1

Thing you've ever seen. It was so fucking bad, and I was ropeable. I was so disappointed, and I just stewed on it because that's what I do. So I'm just constantly consumed by this couch. I'm like, I hope when it Bax walks in and he's.

Speaker 2

Like, what is that? That is so ugly? What color was it?

Speaker 1

It was like a creamy color that it had green flowers all over it. Okay, so it was it was cool and I've painted the room green. We've converted our garage into another TV room, so I'm like, that's where the couch can live. And it fit perfectly. But anyway, so I put it on Facebook Marketplace and a lady bought it the other day and came and picked it up, and in my head I was like, just don't sit on it, just don't sit on it. And thank god she didn't sit on it, which is odd, isn't it

to buy a couch and not sit on it? Yeah, but she didn't, and so we put it into the car and then I was like, fucking thank god. So I've been looking for a couch and I went into nick Scary and they have some good couches in Nixcari.

Speaker 2

Yeah they do.

Speaker 1

I never would have normally gone in there, but I went in there and the shopping ascent assistant was so lovely, so lovely, but she would abbreviate every word, you know when somebody over abbreviates. So she was like, do you like this config And I was like, oh, configuration, Yeah.

Speaker 2

I like this configuration and then she's like props. He was lie that though, but she said it so many times.

Speaker 1

You're like, canfig and then she's like, the auto comes with it, and I was like, oh, the bottoman that is, because we're talking about a couch. Can fig an auto come up a lot of times and I'm thinking, stop, just stop abbreviating. There's something about shop assistance and I used to be one that they just like. It's like when they call like and every lot of shop assistants are younger now and I can't handle it when younger people call me like sweetie or baby or things like that.

I'm like, no, no shows respect.

Speaker 2

I hate that too. That's a sign of aging as well, like that you're getting older. It's like when now when someone says complains about the weather, especially here in Melbourne, It's like the response now I give is oh, well it's good for the garden. Oh yeah, I'm my seventy eight. But I'm fascinated to know what color couch you bought this time?

Speaker 1

Oh okay, so I didn't get the nick scary, but I found another one and.

Speaker 2

It's Mission brown. What like Mission brown? It's Mission brown. Mission brown is like that would have been like seventies and eighties, like a dark brown. No, not dark brown. It's not really dark.

Speaker 1

It's like a it's darker than a beigey brown and it's a good material, like you know, at the moment, there's like the ballbully material.

Speaker 2

I don't know what it's called.

Speaker 1

It's that and it's in a brown, but it takes twelve weeks to come. I take forever, forever, and Jesus there pricey.

Speaker 2

They're just so expensive. Sam's dying.

Speaker 1

I'm like, mate, you you know, I've done my homework in this because of course obsessively looking for some But it's a nice it's a nice big.

Speaker 2

But it's got a chase. Oh is it chase? Yeah? You need you need one of those.

Speaker 1

Oh you need one of those. You need to be able to put your legs out on the couch. I've never had one of those. I normally do the couch config like the sorry, and I never get an otto, but I might get an outto do.

Speaker 2

You know we have the same main couch we've had our whole marriage twenty years. Oh will you that's great? Good, it's not great. Don't tell me. You know what? I hate dark brown leather. No, it's not dark. It is leather, but it's not it's like a the color of like a really really weak latte. Let's say that's like rule though it's cold and then hot and sticky. Now I know it's indented in the spots where we sit, so like where Mark is, it's a massive indent. And then

you know it's ripped in bits. And I'm like, we need, yeah to go and buy a new couch because it's now it's embarrassing.

Speaker 1

Could you get covered? Getting it recovered is expensive.

Speaker 2

I wouldn't even bother doing that. The pressure because it is such a big purchase. It's you know, I was like not being able to agree. And he wants leather. I don't know you don't want leather, Mark, But what I want with leather if we do get leather is like that warning ten. Yes, I want it to look older than it. Yeah, yeah, fuck mate. One that I went and looked at because I'm like, if we're going to do it, we do it properly. We've got a lot of room in our house. We can get the

config we want. Yes. When I looked at priced, it's like a twenty four grand and I'm like, I'm not spending that. I just will not. I will not spend that on a couch. No, you will not spend that on a couch. So back to the drawing board. It's a big deal to buy a couch.

Speaker 1

The thing is that if you invest in a couch, though you do like you've had it for twenty years, you have it for a long time. I had a king couch, which was the very first purchase Sam and I made when we moved in together. And it was a huge config right, and it was just the best.

Speaker 2

Took up nearly the whole room.

Speaker 1

It was seven thousand dollars, which for us at that time was a huge amount of money. Still is a huge amount of money. The couch I found's cheaper than that now, but it was. We had it for over fifteen years. It was just when the kids trashed it because it was cream.

Speaker 2

But it was so good. That's a possible reupholster job, though. That could have been because I bought Stacy's. I agree, Oh did you buy Stacy's Yeah, but it's downstairs. I bought Stacy's one, yeah.

Speaker 1

Ah, because her and I have had the same one, the concerto. It was called We've spoken about catches for so long during.

Speaker 2

And I'm just so boring.

Speaker 1

Oh my god, let's stop talking about it. Can I just quickly go into something that's on the anti bucket list of mine?

Speaker 2

Yes you can.

Speaker 1

Okay, this is up the top of the list of my anti bucket list. Something I'll never do in this lifetime silent disco. I will never put those headphones on and dance to the beat of the song that's in my ears while other people have a different station in the area.

Speaker 2

I mean, I would love to go to one to observe because it would would be the funniest thing.

Speaker 1

I watched people a Hens party not long ago where they were having a silent disco down the street, and I thought, you guys.

Speaker 2

Are fucking do you know? Do you know what I find I've said this to you before. The silent disco. It's not the same because the fun of going out and dancing yeah, communally, Oh my god.

Speaker 1

The other week when I went to that party, we did a communal clap and I couldn't stop but think of you the whole lot. I forget what it was it was like, and in it it says like clap your hands, and I, oh see you. No, it wasn't seas clap your hands, but I love that.

Speaker 2

Clap your hands, clap your hands. No, it wasn't that, but I couldn't help but think of you and go this is mels worse, not man y. Yeah, I took my shoes off while dancing too. I have this craving in me to go and do that. And the thought of a nightclub doesn't appeal to me anymore neither No, but I want to go and have a good dance. I want to go and have a good dance. Part of the want is because I know I'm not one hundred, but I'm forty five. Yeah, you're old. The point is

coming where what's gradma doing here? Oh? Well, sheep is going to say soon.

Speaker 1

But I feel like, remember there used to be the over twenty fivesc.

Speaker 2

And you wouldn't go to one of those old places over twenty eight.

Speaker 1

It's no way. There was no way we were going to go to that. But jeez, it feels good for the soul having a a dance. I hadn't had a dance in so long, and then just dance. I'd dance with a in a circle, of course, with a few friends, and I had on really high boots and they were killing me, so I took them off. But that first five minutes of dancing with no shoes on, I felt like my feet were going to break. It was wild, like you know when the sole of your foot is

so sore from being on such an angle. And I was dancing and my feet are breaking, They're actually breaking, And then it felt so good.

Speaker 2

It's just like I remember there would be times where I'd go out and I would be dancing, but like a lot of the time, if I was so into the song or whatever, eyes closed, I didn't give a fuck who was around. How liberating, Oh my god, And I'm like, that's what I want. Yeah, do that again.

Speaker 1

I would like to be honest, was a bit conscious because i'ven't danced in so long.

Speaker 2

I'm like, it takes you a while to get into it.

Speaker 1

A while, and then when you catch eyes with somebody you give the smuggle.

Speaker 2

That's embarrassing for no reason. How embarrassing for what it's for a reason. When like you're out and they're playing a song you love, but you don't realize it's like the extended mix and you start singing before lyrics. That's embarrassing. Cool, Oh my god, I love it. Well, you know what I was thinking the other day too, I was thinking about guilty pleasures, right, and I was trying to note down things that I do that up you know, weird. One of them is antagonizing my husband on purpose to

piss him off. But it's in such stupid ways, like I'll do something to annoy him, like I pick my nail polish off all the time, and sometimes I'll do that when I take his car, and then yeah, and he comes in and he's like, fucking there's nail fucking shit all over my driver's seat. And I will just look at him and go, it wasn't me. It's like I've got half peeled off rednail polish and he's like, look at your fucking fingers, it's all red polish. I know it's you, and I just keep denying it to

his face. But so it's funny because and again toxic, but funny because you know, like I'm intentionally being facetious, yes, also being a hypocrite, because what I do is I will dish out fucking health advice and life advice to people. You need to sleep, mum, Why aren't you taking your medication? Why aren't you taking your supplements? You have to eat, right, you have to sleep, you have to exercise, and I do none of it myself. Do you secretly love it

a bit? I love the feeling of like being righteous. Yeah, like god fucking this is a lot of toxic stuff. Also, sometimes I obsessively watch YouTube videos those soldiers returning home from service? Do you where the kids? They surprise the kids and stuff. You know, it's like if I need a release, and it's you know, sometimes you feel like you need a good cry, yes, but you can't get it out. You need something to prompt me. May they

do it every time? Like you know, a dad hiding in what the kid thinks is a Christmas present under the tree, Fucking the dad comes out?

Speaker 1

How good is a really good cry? I had a couple of months ago and it was so big and it was so releasing.

Speaker 2

It's so it's therapeutic, it is, and you do feel better after you feel better, after I feel cleansed. Because the worst is it's like the opposite when you want to cry and you're in public and you know you're going to cry and you're trying to hold it in because you don't want to look like an idiot, and then someone says, what's wrong? Or are you okay, and you know that's going to set you. Yes, it's like the worst house this.

Speaker 1

So the other week I went to I flew to Sydney to see a new neurologist, right, yes, And I got in there and he was basically like, you've tried everything. I just don't know what else you can really try. And it was the most disheartening. It was like I had hope on this neurologist because he's known as a headache person for starters. He was a bit shocked I'd flown there just to see him. I'm like, I meant to be one of the best, and he was like, so you've come just to see me, so that made

me a bit nervous to starting. And then he's like, there's nothing else I can do. As soon as I left his office, I was weeping, like hysterically crying, sitting out the front of this hospital on one of the benches, and there was a guy on another bench and after a bit he came over with a bag of lollies and he said, yeah, have some lollies if sometimes sugar can help. And my immediate response was oh, thank you. And then I'm like, actually, okay, And then I was like, please, don't be nice to me.

Speaker 2

You'll make me cry even more.

Speaker 1

And I took a couple of lollies out of his bag and he's like, this place isn't isn't good? Isn't nice for.

Speaker 2

Bad news? I know?

Speaker 1

And then I just sat there eating strawberries and cream lollies and he walked off, and I was like, that was so beautiful of him to do that, because I was like, like, could be quite overwhelming for a man who doesn't know the woman to be like. And I was just wiping under my glasses and he came and gave me some lollies.

Speaker 2

Again. I think in times like that, especially you're at a hospital or whatever it could be, you've gotten bad news.

Speaker 1

I know, I've got what he thought he sought. Somebody's passed away, or I've got some cancer news or something like that.

Speaker 2

But it's that like something so small like that is like shared humanity. It was.

Speaker 1

I just it just was like, oh my god, people look good, like inherently good a lot of like most people, you know. I was like, that's so beautiful.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I would like to think most people are as well. I remember, I think I've told you this before. When my dad was sick, I would go to the hospital every day and it was like a forty minute drive from my house. And one day he was really really unwell, and I remember getting in the car to drive home and I was just crying and crying and I backed out. I was backing out of a spot and I say, hit another car. I tapped it, and I was like fuck.

And I got out of the car and I was bawling, and I looked and there was no damage to the car. So I was going to go. But then I saw there was an older couple walking pasts and I'm like, well, I can't go now. And they looked at me and they saw the state of me that I'd just fucking

come out of the hospital like that. And that old man came up and he looked at the other car and he goes, there's nothing there, just go, And I was like it was it's there was such a small interaction, but but I remember it, yeah, because I was like that was that was kind? Yeah.

Speaker 1

Kind is such a special trait, like to be You just want.

Speaker 2

Your kids to be kind. Yeah. I like, al O, my middle is really kind. He's a kind kid.

Speaker 1

You know. The old one not so much in the young ge. I'm not sure yet, but I'm like, oh, you're kind, You've got a good heart.

Speaker 2

You want them to be like that. Yes, you do also not be taken advantage of.

Speaker 1

Yeah, all right, well shall we get out of here?

Speaker 2

Out? I think we shall.

Speaker 1

Hey, thank you for listening your bloody legends.

Speaker 2

We love that you do.

Speaker 1

Can you share a pod with the friend who you think might like it or give us a rating or a comment? It helps push us up.

Speaker 2

And that friend likes couches. Love this broadcast.

Speaker 1

If there's one person out there who's in the on the hunt for a couch at the moment, they're gonna be like, that was the best podcast.

Speaker 2

She works in, Nick scari and she says big an honor as well. She gonna love this. Have a good day everyone, Love you

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