Boom boom Jack Hello, it is Mala Monte for your podcast.
Show Boom Shuka. Luckert was in a lot of songs in the nineties and stuff. But you know what I really remember. I remember that song Walk the Dinosaur Boom boom. I like a lock of boom boom boom boom.
Yes, I do.
I do. They like like a prehistoric song. We're Incino man.
In Sino Man. How did Pauli Shaw talk again?
I have to send you a video I saved the other day because I saw this thing come up on my Instagram about how we're bagging kids of today for how they speak with all this sigma and rhythm whatever shit they say. But then it was a clip of Paulie Shaw, you know, like he talked. His words were really cut off.
Like Pauly Sure. No, that was wrong, No he was. I'm so embarrassed, right.
No, I can't even I can't even do it.
Please do it.
No, I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna try and do it. I'll see if I can find the little audio grab of him doing.
It, but I can't get it out. So I worked on you used to do the phones on Mick Molloy's show, and he came in once and was a guest on Mick Show, and I was doing the phones and like they introduced me, and then on air he said something like the phone girl is a male or something like that, but meaning not a bad word. So it wasn't mole, but it was like something that in Australia was derogatory.
Oh yes, but he.
Wasn't meaning that, so I knew he was trying to compliment me, but micking that had to quickly pull him up, like, oh mate, you cannot say that about.
Her, Like those words that mean different things in different countries, like the F word that I hate Fanny, Yes, I think that means bum. Yeah it does in America in the US, Fanny Pax. Yeah. Anyway, hang on, I'll play a clip of his voice. Your ed because I'm wising on your grind. It's just chill because if I had the whole Brady Bunch thing happened at my pat I go grind over there, stop tax my gig so hardcore Custer just cheut, Yeah.
I totally.
It was just very like like all these words were really cut off.
I loved in Ceno man so much. How hot was Brendan Fraser in that movie?
Look, I don't know.
In that movie he was hot. Now I completely get it. Here's another story. I interviewed him for Journey at the Edge of the World or some shit like that. It was a three day movie and it was when I was doing Saturday Mornings on Oval with Ryan Shelton, and he and I went. I lasted two seconds in there because it was a three day movie, and I got so sick that I had to leave. And then we interviewed Brendan Fraser. It was still, to date, the weirdest interview I've ever done. He was just so strange. I
don't know. And how they'd had it set set up because radio interviews jump in on TV interview, so they have it set up for both TV interviews and radio interviews, and they often have it TV further apart so they can have the cameras in there. So he was like literally five meters away. It's just well, so it was so awkward. It was a really awkward chat. And I remember going in Sino man, Dick, that's weird anyway, So you've had like two hours sleep.
Yeah, Luca's not well, and it's just like I work late, and you know, it's like those things when people always sort of warn you, you know, like be on top of your stuff because if you're not, you never know when something's going to hit and then throw everything into disarray. I had one of those moments because I've had yeah, like three hours sleep and I'm like, oh, I'm going to struggle today. Thank god, I'm on amphetamines.
Yeah, totally. You know what you are is you know how people live paycheck to paycheck, which stresses me out, which I know majority of people have to do. But when you've got no buffer there, that's you we work.
Yeah, that's how I've never any buffer, na no, always always three steps behind, I feel, and every the start of every week, I'm like, that's it this week. Yeah, I'm going to be on, I'm going to be ahead. I'm never here, but I'm never ahead in life. It's just I just it is.
The way you work stresses me out to no end. But it completely makes sense that you're ADHD, Like, yeah, you couldn't be more spot on ADHD, but so considered hyperactive or what's the other one.
There's hyperactive, inattentive, attentive, and a mix of both.
Yeah, which I'm a combo.
I think, well, he said combo, And initially I was like, well, I'm not hyperactive because I'm not very physical, although if I think about it, I am physical in terms of I don't stand still. I rock. If I'm somewhere and I'm talking to someone, my body's always moving.
Right, But it's hyperactive in your mind.
It's in the mind. Yeah, where there is no peace, you know, it's always something going. So that's why there was that thing going around a while ago of this woman talking to her husband and she's like, so when you get into bed, like give me a rundown what you think about? And he's like, I just go to sleep.
I can't even imagine.
And I find that fascinating. And my husband was the same. I close my eyes and I'll go to sleep, and I'm like, what are you thinking about? Stuff?
Sam's the opposite. Sam gets so stressed at bed and he's got tosty somnia, so he gets full sleep anxiety as well, Like if he gets into bed, you can't sleep, and then he has to get on the couch every night, gets restless legs syndrome. I would go absolutely insane if that was me.
Yeah, I think it becomes psychological like that as well, Like you know, like when you have a baby, Oh my god.
Sleep Yeah, how you'd count the hours that you were going to get and that was so stressful just to know. But I do I feel for you charging off such limited sleep. But yes, indeed lucky you're on speed Yeah ADHD medications. Hey, how's this I saw on Instagram the other day? Which is always just an endless supply of content, that thing, isn't it?
Of course?
Yeah? One in ten Aussies will not let their dogs see them naked. What do you like with your She's not in the house enough, she gets her period and she certainly wouldn't be upstairs if she was, like she wouldn't be able to get up the stairs. You've got a bulldog, so she wouldn't be able to get upstairs for start, Oh.
She would, she's I reckon, she's got ADHD hyperat she's a little psycho. But I don't think i'd care. But then I do think, would you have sex in front of your door?
Though I would not, I would would find that really, Or what about if it's asleep in the corner of the room.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It was a funny thing again Instagram giving you a real plug today, like you need it. It was a funny meme of like masturbating in your room and your dog's just watching you. None, I'm like, I.
Don't think I could. I don't have a dog, so I don't know if I would let it watch me get undressed. But it's at the age with my twelve year old now that I'm not feeling that comfortable being naked in front of him really yeah, which is really odd, Like it's fine and I still am, but I'm also more conscious of it than I am with my three year old. Like the other day, I was in the shower and he came in while I was in the shower, and I realized, you haven't seen me naked in a
while now. I think because he's turning into a man, like he's getting a man body. Something shifted where I'm like, yeah, oh my god, that just made it sound. Please don't like think anything disgusting. It's more than I just am like, Oh, I just feel more conscious for some reason.
No, I get that. I get that, but also I don't know if you call it a double standard. I don't think that's quite it. But like I remember growing up, my mum was very open in her nakedness, right, my dad was not. I never, I've never ever saw my dad naked, right right? Yea, and in our house now that obviously the kids are older and stuff. Mark doesn't walk around naked or anything. But I'm still happy to do that in front of the kid, right, And it's that seems fine to me, Yes, and it is fine.
I think both are completely fine about the dad. My dad was never never had clothes on, like I saw my dad, Like I stayed at Dad's. It's been a while since I've seen Dad naked, but it wouldn't be that long, you know what I mean.
Like, yeah, to the point where when we were kids would be like, Dad, put on clothes, put pants on, I'm not talking to you with pants, roll, you don't have your pants on? Like he was just shocking with nudity. But Sam was like the same, like if the kids come in, we wouldn't cover up. But also I'm more conscious of it now.
Do you think he'd be different if you had a daughter.
I don't know. It's hard to say, but I doubt it.
It's hard, isn't it. Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know anyway, So a little like a podcast or two a girls talking about how I just never go to the toilet, and so many if you messaged in saying you've got to get happy Bum called happy bumco and their enemies and their coffee you can get just just do normal ones or you can do coffee enemies. I it's my new hyper focus. Completely addict it. Oh
so you've tried it, tried it. I bought the kit, of course I did, bought the full kit, and then I also bought like there's a it's called I forget what it's called, but there's like once a week you do, like a probiotic thing as well, because I guess it can clear out heaps of stuff. Oh my god, I love it so much. So every day I will fill up my it's like this bag. I fill it up with the coffee that it comes with, and then I hang it over the shower. Oh my god. I put
a towel down on the ground. It's got this tube, and I shove the tube up my ass and I put my legs on the wall and I just love watching the coffee drip down. And then you hold it in as long as you can, and then you get on the toilet.
See, this is what I don't get. You think putting mascara on is too much effort, Yeah, but you do go to all that. That is, I hang on every day.
Every day I've been doing it, But it's only because at the moment I have that time, like I'm not doing a huge amount because this morning I did it, but I remember going, oh God, like this is not something I'm going to be able to do when work picks up again, or do you know what I mean? Like, because it's a good fifteen to twenty minutes that you need.
But it all happens straight away, like the timing of it. It's not like you do it and then you've got to go immediately. It's not like then, you know, two hours later you go.
Like sometimes I can hold it in there for a good ten minutes and then sit on there. It's like you just get this urge where you're like, I can't hold it anymore and you've got to get on the toilet.
How BIG's the tube?
Not that big.
It's not like a straw like a drinking straw or bigger.
No, probably the tip of it would be thinner than a drinking straw or a drinking straw with Yeah, but the tube's a bit thicker than that. But anyway, so thank you to all of you, all of those of you who messaged in, and there's quite a few of you doing it.
I feel like that's going to be in the title of this episode, coffee MS tubes.
Up your ass. Anyway, So I was doing when yesterday and Arloe walks in and he's like, what are you doing? Mom? I'm like putting the coffee up my bum. He of course I'm laying there so I can't do anything. His face screws up, so he then walks around me into the bathroom to look at my ass with the tube going.
He's curious.
Then Bax comes in and he's pissing his pants, and then Odie comes in. He's like, Mummy, why are you laying on the ground? I had all three kids around while I'm doing this coffee and a muh.
I mean fair enough. It would be a confronting thing walking in on your mum, like the temper as.
Wouldn't it. Yeah, yeah, anyway, they had a good gorky gork about it.
Well, that's good it's working for you.
I don't know if it is or not, who knows, but I'm sorry it's making you go a bit yeah, totally, well it is. It's moving stuff to some extent, which is great, good. But you read about it online and so many people like, this is the worst thing for you. So it's one of those really opinionated things to do.
You're just everything everything is bad, Everything is bad for you. So you just gotta you just do the stuff that makes you feel good. What else can you do? Fuck, otherwise you wouldn't live.
You've got a bloody live. Let's talk about things that are embarrassing for no reason.
Oh my god, geez, I was having such a giggle to myself last night. Down Okay, I think I've got some crackers. But then, you know, sometimes you think of something and you're on your own, you think it's so funny and it doesn't quite translate.
Yeah, but that's okay, because to you they're embarrassing for no reason. You go and then I'll go, Okay. So this happened to me the other day at my son's football. When you get hit in the head by ball, Oh my god, it's mortifying. So embarrassing, so embarrassing, especially if it gets you from behind.
This got me from the side. Oh it wasn't even hard, but Mark soock. You just reacted like a missile hit your head because I was like, but I said it didn't hurt. It was the shock of it, and then the embarrassment, like the kids are like, oh sorry, and I'm like, it's okay, it's all right, And then I'm like, did you see that ball hit me in the head fucking right here? Of course.
Yes. It's so embarrassing because your reaction is so you can't fake your reaction, you know what I mean. It's like because you're just you're so shocked.
I get a bit angry, angry because also then they continue kicking and they're shit and you're like, okay, we'll go over there because that person's going to keep missing catching the ball. But it's that vulnerable thing, like when you fall down, you feel like an idiot and everyone's looking at you. The worst is when someone says are you okay, and you like, just pretend.
Happened, Pretend you didn't see my head ricochet, Like really, oh my god, all right, I've got one yes crossing the road when a car's waiting. Sometimes even when a car's not waiting, just crossing the road is a bit embarrassing.
Let me ask you this. When you're crossing the road and there's you know, there's cars waiting for you, you will at the very least do a really brisk walk one of course, Now are the fucking people that just take their.
To miander a meander across the road? Yeah?
Not on just I don't know entire titled.
You have to scuttle across a road unless you're an old person. I want you to meander. I feel really bad when I'll let somebody cross and that's an older person and they will do a little run. I'm like, no, no, no, no, don't run. No.
I know, I know, and you feel sorry for him. But then there is a part in your back your mind like come on, Graham, come on, get across. I've got places to be. Okay. At the end of a movie at the cinemas, when the credits start and the lights come on, you have to say something. You have to become like David and Margaret at the movies and comment on the movie. You have to say, what a movie that was really good? Did you like like that, what are your thoughts? Who just gets up and leaves?
There has to be.
The light's coming on. Something in that alone is embarrassing.
It's like at the end of the night at a nightclub or something, lights come on and everyone.
Oh, oh my god, that's happened to me in my life, maybe twice. And it's just because you feel hot, it's dark, yes, you feel like you're looking good, and then all of a sudden the lights are on. You realize your a scar is smudged under your face, you've got sweaty pits.
And that guy you just pashed is disgustedusted in the lights off? Oh god, have you got another one?
No, I've only gotten that. I've only got the crossing the road one. What else have you got?
Okay, running into someone that you know in a place that's unexpected where you don't expect to see this, and then the default, I don't know if it's just me or whatever it is, Oh my god, what are you doing here? And it's like you could be at a fucking I don't know truck show, like same thing as you do, you think I'm doing just in the chemist, seeing anyone out of their natural habitat where you know them.
Like seeing a school teacher, even now, seeing one of the kids' school teachers out of the school area is like, oho, and how much are you you your best version around school teachers.
Always because you're on your best behavior because you don't want them to read oh that, kids like that because of that, Mum.
Yeah you know, yeah, I could be half dead and see one of the Hello, how are you?
I know you say hello to missus whatever? You know. I was in the chemist probably a few weeks ago, and I was going to pick up a script. My psychiatrist who prescribes me now medication was there. I was like, I was like, when you're a teenager and you see you crush somewhere and you find a shelf or something, That's what I was like. I had to keep walking around and staking him out until he left because I was embarrassed.
That is completely rational. I get that the psychiatrist who I used to go to this is such a small town that his step kid played on the same football team as my kid. I was like, I cannot see you out and about, so I have to leave him, which is probably even more awkward. But I'm like, nah, but everyone who needs a psychiatrist goes to him. I'm like, this guy has access to like the whole town's he
knows every psychological problems, what drugs they're on. Like, I just it was too small town for me to go and see him.
I saw are they called radiographer, radiologist or whatever, who'd given me a breast ultrasound the day before? Out shopping one day and I just thought, you were looking at my tits yesterday.
You were gelling up my tits.
And now you're buying home with It's weird. Yeah, yeah, that was embarrassing.
So before we go, Biden step down, which happened earlier in the week, and it's just like thank fuck for starters. But also, you know, it's like you get to that it was at the point where it's like you're too old now. And I vividly remember when my pa got to the age where it was like, par you can't drive anymore, like where you just have to completely accept I am too old to do that now.
That loss of the independence it gives you would be horrible because it's like when you get to a certain age, you're infantilized again by everyone. You know, like people talk to older people like their babies. I'm like, oh, ah, you they assume they can't hear all their they can't just do that.
I think I do that well.
I mean sometimes you do have to speak up, but I know.
But sometimes I feel like you do. Yeah, they just and it is you just end up going back to being a baby. But it's just awful, isn't it. But him retiring, it's like, oh, stepping down from running for the next election is like, oh my god, Like this is just a joke. What's going on. I try not
to be too across it because it's too terrifying. So I'm one of those people that puts their head in the sand, which be like, you can't, but I'm like, no, I have to because there's a fucking umpu lumpa and bloody one hundred year old man.
I'm just shocked at you know, like it's not compulsory to vote over there, yeah or whatever. And I'm like people who don't want him in, which I feel like would be a significant amount they would have to Biden no, no, sorry Trump right ryes like it's like, how are you not going out and voting? You must vote because otherwise this guy I mean he is, he's like the Antichrist to me.
He's hands down going to get in.
He's down the things he wants to do. There's this fucking Project twenty five or whatever it's called. They want to make abortion illegal throughout the entire country country, like what it means for trans kids and stuff like that. And it's like, this is fucking sheep.
It's just it's so it is so unbelievably horrific. Did you know that we were looking up how many presidents have been assassinated, and four have really, don't ask me to name them all. I don't know half of them.
I'm really fascinated by the whole JFK thing as well.
But also I said to Sam, imagine Trump did get assassinated that day, we'd all see it, like our kids would see somebody getting shot in the head. Where JFK. It's that really grainy black and white. I think it's still pretty footage. It's so hectic, but it's not like what is available four K. It's not four K. I was like, that would have been so full on, you know the amount of like our young kids would have seen a president's head getting blown off. I know, I mean even for us.
But you know, like, I don't want to do a fucking jack Black situation here, but I did think this is what you're standing for. You're standing I thought too, I'm like, what this is the country you want? It's ironic he got shot. It's like you're the one who wants fucking firearms.
Everywhere you dip ship.
Now he thinks he's a fucking hero head survivor.
Yes. No, the people wearing the covering up the years as like a fashion statement.
The world's going mad again solidarity like he has fought in a wall or something.
It's wild anyway, y'all, thanks for listening. Hope you are great. Hit us up anytime we do. Indeed love hearing from you. It seriously makes our day and to our patrons, thank you for your support. You get an extra one every couple of weeks if you if you sign up, which is patreon dot com Force I show and tell nae mate, Love yous