How little sweeth hurts. You are the sweetest of hurts. We love you. It's mouth, it's MONTI woo hi everyone.
You know what I just realized. I'm looking at myself in the monitor here. You know, people talk about having like eyebrow blindness or whatever. I think I've got blush blindness. So much fucking blush.
On I think, nah, I don't have it. Don't, No, you haven't. You look great from here. But also, blush is just one of those things. This is just yes, central life. It's essentially like I don't have any on today. Might just pinch me cheese.
You know what you can do literally when you put your lipstick on, just put a little bit on your cheeks of lipstick. Yes, wow, yeah, blinded in is that what you do? No?
Yeah, well, don't tell me to do something so stupid.
But if I was in a pinch, I would I've just got seven thousand blushes.
Yeah, makeup kid, I bet it's like a full makeup artists.
Mark sent me this thing on Instagram the other day. It was like this, you know, like pouch that you put makeup in. It's a drawstring and he goes, you need something like this, But like a tent and that's very true.
Oh wow, you would die if you shaw on mine. I've got like one mescaa, one blush, one red lip.
We've all got our things.
I've got a black eyowana two. Yeah, what's my thing? What is what? You know? How everyone's got to think yours is makeup?
You've always hearties as your thing?
That is so fucked?
Why is that?
Fuck?
That's more fucked than makeup.
But I feel like makeup's a real hobby in it, like a real passion. I don't have a passion anyway, get fun. Hey, So I filled up with petrol the other day, literally my least favorite job in the whole wide world. My hand feels heavy after I've filled that with petrol. Does that make sense to you? Yeah?
It does.
Like I feel like there's that many germs on my hand.
It feels heavy and I can't so disgusting.
And then when I touched the steering wheel again, I'm like, now this is contaminated. I should just keep I should keep some of the pumpy hand wash stuff in my car, but I don't. Yes, But I went in and I bought two things with my petrol, and I felt really like it's it grows to do.
What could I think of at a petrol station that you would buy I'm speaking of like two king sized Mars bars four dollars, Like that's what I think of it a petrol station.
Yeah, yes, well I did two chumps. I got not one, but two. Best I know, we've discussed this before. It is such a fantastic chocolate, so underratedle you do need more than one because they're too thin. But something about buying chocolates from the servo is really depressing, and then getting into your car by yourself and just unwrapping it,
meaning it's embarrassing for no reason. But it also just is like, oh, it's like driving through the drive through of Macas by yourself and ordering a fan to like it's just.
Oh yeah, I mean it could be worse. You could be buying sunglasses from the servo.
True, but no, it wasn't that. It was two chumps, and I just remember going, I feel a bit embarrassed walking out with these two chumps in my hands.
But just two of the same thing too. Yeah, nothing else took your fancy.
No, I was thinking of a curly whirly Ah.
Jesus, we you know what would actually be a perfect pairing.
Because we would well, I wouldn't want you would want like.
I'd want the Snickers. I'd go as Snickers. Would you absolutely?
Or you'd go old gold?
Oh no, I mean like no, probably not. If we're thinking about chocolate bars, I'd go as Snickers. I think we've talked about this before. I don't mind a bounty.
Bounty is good. They're too little, although obviously a chump's little, but I feel like because they've cut them into two bite sized pieces, the bounty, it's not one bar.
It's too Yeah, that's true. KitKat is always good, kick cat. My thing is it has to be in the fridge. I do like the KitKat chunky, Yeah, because it has more chocolate.
It's got more mph to it, doesn't it. Yes, chocolate's so good.
That is an exciting part of thinking about going on a road trip, stopping at the servo and just stocking up on overpriced yes snacks.
Oh yes, you all love a snack. Yeah, I love a snack too. Do I always get caught when they're like, so the petrol? That petrol comes to that? Now, did you want to get two bags of chips? Because the discount will make them free. And I always was like, yeah, okay. So then I take the two bags of chips and I'm like, I don't get how they were free if I was. Do you know when they say things.
Like that, I know the petrel was seven thousand dollars, what's an extra six bucks?
Yeah, but if you get these two packets of chips, you'll get six dollars your six cents off lee each leavetail, which makes them free. It's like they just convolute a moment. It's too much for my brain. And then I'm like, oh free. Oh wy.
It's like they just stunned people. People like oh okay.
Yeah totally. I'm standing there with my heavy hand and I just want to get the fuck out of there. If I can take some free chips, I will.
You know where I get stuck when I go to like cotton on or something. You know, how many are those I have? Would you like to donate to the Cotton Foundation and you know, a five dollar bag or whatever? And I'm like, well, I've got seven hundred at home, but fuck, I'm gonna look like an asshole if I don't, because I've just dumped three hundred bucks.
So Okay, I know I get annoyed. I get really annoyed when they do that. And when they try and sell you a bag, it's annoying, yeah, the boler order. But also a bag in a retail shop is essential. So what with all of this stuff? If I don't buy a bag off you, I'm just walking it out with it all in my hands. So you've snooked me. I have to get a bag. I don't want buying your bags. And you make enough money you can give that donation out of the money out of all this shit I bought.
But think of how much stuff you can buy it cotton on for like three hundred bucks.
All right.
Imagine you just said, now that's okay, I don't need a bag, and you're just walking through like a flat shopping center with an arm full looks, and you keep dropping shit you.
And then you got to bend down and pick it all up. Or then a nice lady will walk past me and go, I'll get that for you, and she chucks it on top of your pile.
That's funny. You know what I do when I'm in like Priceline or chemist warehouse or something, and I always say to myself I'm not going to get a basket. Oh, because if I get a basket it's dangerous.
Yeah.
But they spot me, like from a mile away that I've got like seven hundred things in my hand, and I'm like, this is my strategy because I don't like, there's only so much I can carry. And they come and they say, here's a basket, and then I feel like a bitch, and I'm like, oh, thanks. And then I explained the whole strategy to them and they're like, we don't give a shit, just keep buying. Oh god, first world problems.
It's so good, but don't do not give me the option to buy a bag. Now, how's your meditation going down?
Oh god, I tried the other day to do this. I think you mentioned to me Yoga Nidra.
Yeah, the Yoga Nra app. It's really good.
Okay, Well I didn't do the app. I just put into YouTube Yoga Nidra. I thought it was actually like a movement thing, but it was a meditation.
It's a meditation. Yeah. When you hear yogi, you think, oh, I don't yes, No, it's just literally laying there and going through different parts of your body to relax.
Them yes, so I started doing it. I also did it, which is probably wrong, but I did it in this position that I heard was good for stress relief or whatever, Like when I was laying on my back and I had my legs up against the wall.
I've heard that that's really good. When I used to do yoga, this lady used to. This lady used to come to my house to do yoga, and I know that sounds really fancy. I was employed at the time, so I had a bit of extra cash, but it was fifty bucks, and I'm like, she comes to my house, she does an hour with me, and she would always say, end your day with your legs up on the wall. Anyway, then I'd had enough of her and I didn't want to have her anymore because it just was like, Oh,
I don't really this is not really for me. And it was like it took her three years to get it. She would just like every six months randomly call and I'd be like, what the fuck are you calling. It was so weird. I can't express how weird it was. It was just like when didn't have a thing. We're not friends. You came to my house, but I paid you for a service. Why are you calling me? I just was shocked every.
Time, and you wouldn't have even been able to have said to her, oh, no, sorry, I can't do it. We can't afford it, because she would have been like the fucking radio, of course she can afford it. I've been to your house, I've seen what you live. Yeah, seriously. Well, so I tried to do it, and I was at the beginning I sort of thought to myself, as you said, when they go through the parts of the body, I was sort of like thinking to myself, Wow, how amazing
that you don't actually think. We don't pay attention to any of that stuff. So when she's saying, you know, feel the whatever on the side of your mouth or whatever, and I'm like, oh, fuck, I can fit here on the side of my mouth. That's amazing because who's thinking about it?
And right.
I just was like the more I was trying to get into it, the more in my head I was just thinking, you are wasting time. Ah, you have And then in my head I started, oh, and you've got this to do, You've got that to do. Even though it was twenty minutes, yes, and rationally I knew this is twenty minutes. You're going to feel better afterwards. You have to take this time for yourself. Once I started to spin, that was it. The anxiety was in the feet came down, and then it was and then it
was like, for fuck's sake, this is fucking bullshit. I can't even fucking do this.
This is fucked.
So calm and serene at the end of it.
So you haven't tried it again, Maybe start with less. Don't do twenty minutes, do five, and then you know it's ten time. Yeah, I know, twenty minutes is a long time to try. If you're a virgin meditating, to sit there and do it. Do five minute ones.
Yeah, I know.
Meditation Mountain is what I'm listening to. Except the voices can really give you the shits. But they've got all different ones. It's just on spoty side.
Crucial voices are crucial.
I know, I never want a guy. I don't want a guy doing meditation for me.
Oh yeah, no, I don't think so. You don't know, you don't understand.
You're a what fucking middle aged man? You're a few God's gift, you ashole.
You've had it so easy.
I'm here, I'm very even metapausal. The children are out there killing each other. Don't fucking hate him so much, so don't put his voice on. But just still go on to like one of the music apps and putting meditation Mountain and it'll have ten minute stress relief, ten minutes to help you sleep. Five minute affirmation. Try those ones. Yeah I know you affirmation, Oh yeah, you know. Don't do the affirmation one. I am beautiful.
You know what I want you to try. I want you to try that.
I'm not an just for.
A couple of days, just for it once, just do it.
And no I can't. I'm embarrassed in front of myself.
Tell you what's strange about it. I used to do this a lot when I was a kid. There's something about looking at yourself in the mirror, and like I talked to myself a lot, just you know, like as normal people would. Ah fuck this.
Yeah, I was going to say, probably really lovely stuff when you're looking at yourself.
But if I consciously look at myself in the mirror and I say something, I get this weird sense that my body and my mind are very detached.
Yes, they're separate to each other.
And it freaks me out. Because I'm like, oh my god, hang on a minute, I'm like this. When I was a kid, I used to explain it, like remember teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the cartoon and there was Krang that was like the brain inside this big robot body. Okay, that's what I was like. I said, I feel like a brain inside this thing. Yes, which is me? My physical fear? Yes, my vehicle, my temple. As I just finished a Crispy Kreme donut yuck. Why yeah, Christy krispy
Kreme so shit. Donut was always so much better than krispy Kreme. Krispy kremer overrated, definitely. But you know what sort of donut I love? Like just the old school bakery chocolate with sprinkles.
Oh, same, They're so good.
I love those.
I love those. You know what I used to love though, from Dunkin Donut was the little human shaped ones. Maybe you're talking about Donut King yep, that one, sorry, not Dunkin Donut. Yeah, and with the little human and there they were fucking huge. If Mum brought one of them for school, it was like, what, this is amazing?
You know, obviously maybe this is a Cozy Lives thing. But I did get my kids something at the shops from Donut King the other day, and I was quite fucking when they told me how much it cost. I was like, yeah, you can't be doing that daily. I don't know, like ten bucks for like seven little donut holes or something.
Oh yeah, the the holes are nice though not yeah, like the balls were there, punched out the hole.
Love the bulls fucking balls. It's unattractive body.
It isn't it hideous? Otis like because he's three and a half, is naked all the time, like all of my boys used to just be naked NonStop. But the amount like so he'll just be laying on the couch with his ass in the air so you can see his full asshole. And then just these mini balls all the time. I just see these mini balls.
You're constantly full balls all the time.
I have so many balls in my life, it's crazy. I'm surrounded by balls, eight eight balls, State balls. Yeah, but just the freedom in Odie just I'm just like, you could care less that your asshole is literally three centimeters from my face. Like imagine Roles reversed and Sam sitting on.
The cash my.
Asshole, Like just seeing anyone's asshole is so crook.
I wonder where they where they got that from, seeing as I remember someone sunning their asshole film it too, and I know I've got a photo of it. Not your asshole, I got it from you know, the angle, not facing your ass but hiss down, legs up in, yeah.
Legs a kimbo. Because well, I said, we'll all try it out again, because I just am so committed to the art went into this podcast. But who was it somebody was saying the best way to get vitamin d's through your through your ring hole. So I'm all right, I'll try it. And I went out there legs up in like a big yoga pose with my I felt very vulnerable because you and Stacy's sitting there laughing.
And I've said this before, but fuck, it's funny. I remember when we had the site and we used to write, you know, and the new articles would come up. So the first three new articles.
Of the this if you're relatively new, we had a full website called showantwe It was like a last our website.
And then people stopped reading, so that went down.
People stopped reading. I guess we stopped writing.
But Stace was saying how her husband, Mike, who works in finance or something like smart, yes, proper job. He had clients over or something and they were asking about what Stacey did to get this website, and he clicked onto it and the first article that came up is like people are sunning their assholes, Like that's the Greatest's best.
Friend sunning her ass whole on that photo. So anyway you're going to invest with this or not?
Speaking of couples, I don't know if this is new or not, but I came across it on my Instagram and I just thought it was interesting to discuss. So, you know, Jason Statham, he's that actor who's a bit of a I don't know, like a fast and the furious sort of guy, like an action movie mab Yeah, with her Rosy Huntington Whitley, who is that angel Victoria's
secret angel. Yeah, you know, massive lips, beautiful, stunny, and he's quite a bit shorter than her and bald, yes, and you know, like hot in a manly way like that sort of you know, he'd throw you around me. Yeah. Anyway, significantly older than her too. I never realized he is in his fifties. And she's in her thirties.
I think, no, she's not that young. Sure they're not.
Yeah, I reckon, she's in her late thirties.
Don't worry, don't google it. I don't care.
Now I need to know.
Okay, we'll google it.
Then I'm putting a note. Well, while i'm talking, you google it.
Okay, Well are you going to talk to then? No one's going to talk back to you.
If I can listen in Google, you can listen to Google anyway. So this clip was he'd come out with these seven relationship rules.
He did.
Yes, these seven relationship rules that he thinks are vital to a good relationship.
What's her name again? Sorry, I'm still googling.
Rosie Huntington Whitely.
Okay, thirty seven? Fuck?
He continue love being right, I know you do.
That's right Google.
Okay. So I'm going to run through them. Number One, date night once a week. Who the fuck has time for that?
Well, if you'll filthy rich and you've got a heap of bloody nannies, and also your kids are okay with you leaving them? Week, Sam and I go out for like an hour for a coffee and get sixteen text messages from Backswhenny home when he home, when he home, it's like, oh my god, yes, but okay, whatever, how many times have you had intentions to do it?
Though?
Sam and I riterally around twenty however, many years together and being like, right, we've got to start doing date my night more often than that, even if we just go for a walk together.
I think it's important to spend time together. Oh without it essential, but it's essential. But it's all so difficult, so hard, you know. So there's that. Then number two is straight talking even when it hurts. Now, like, yes, for the big things to a certain extent, but also, where's that line there? Yeah, do you say your partner, look, you're beefing up a bit. I think it's time to cut down on the crispy creams. I don't know about that.
Yeah, it is a fine line. Or also say Sam, I can tell he's feeling himself in an outfit and I think it looks shit. I'm not going to go that.
Take the top off, this is the thing because it's offensive. Yes, okay, never go to bed on an argument. I don't even understand this concept. Oh my god, if you've had words right and you're mad, it almost feels like disingenuous to go, oh, you know what, that's by the bye, sweetheart, good night, love you. If you're angry, you're angry, and I think you're allowed to be angry.
Of course, you're allowed to be angry, of course, But to be honest, I reckon, I can count on one hand how many times Sam and I've gone to bed angry with each other.
I reckon, I can count on one hand how many times you haven't gone to No, that's that's exactly. But I do sort of think you should be allowed to be angry sometimes. And the concept of because He's like, you know, we never know how much time we've gotten what if something happens during the night, And I get that, but I'm also very solid in the fact that the
people I love know it. So if Mark and I had an argument and I'm like, you know what, fuck you, good night, that's like if I died during the night, I don't think he's gonna wake up in the morning and go, oh, we had an argument last night, and.
She'd be the nicest way to like have things ended. But I also like the reason. I know one of the main reasons Sam and I would always nut things out before we go to sleep. Is because sleep is so important to us, and you don't get a good night sleep if you're angry like that'll be literally more so than us trying to It'd be like, fuck, we go to bed like this, that's it. Neither of us are going to sleep, so let's just get it over and done with. Yes, get to the bottom of it.
Conversely, you'll be a plate anyway, because then how are you going to bring up all that stuff from two thousand and one? Still?
Fuck, you'd be such a nightmare to be married to.
Oh my god, you know what the thing is, we're both fiery.
Yeah, that's the hard thing with you and Mike C. Sam Sorry, not Mike Mark.
No, Mike Mark.
Mike's changeable. That's the thing is I'm fiery. Sam's not so there, and you look psychotic when you're fiery against somebody who's not getting worked up.
Maybe when someone is calm and you're angry.
Oh, I feel like I am, like you're manipulating me and also like pay yourself though I think people like that can't.
Like you say, you're fiery, right, but not to the extent that I would be. No, I think you're a bit more. You can contain yourself a bit more, and maybe that is something that comes with having a partner who's calmer. Yes, right, But I'm like, if I married Sam, it would never work because he'd be so hurt by this I am and I think deal, it's the way he would be.
Like I have literally I can remember the one time in my life I said to Sam to shut up.
I just oh my god. Okay, So well, this is going on to the next point. Never raise your voice in an argument. I do Again, I do not understand this concept, Like what do you do? Like, I don't know when you're angry. I'm like, that's part of being angry.
It's just let it Sometimes you've really got to let it out. But again, if the person that you're letting it out at is like, why are you yelling? Why can't we just talk about this? Oh?
Fuck you?
You and Sam would last two seconds.
Oh my god. Okay, So this next one I actually think is a problem. Never disagree in public. Hmm, he says, disagree private, but have a united front when you're in public. That is toxic to me.
It is although there is nothing worse being out with a couple that just do not stop niggling at each other.
Well, this is the thing that I was thinking of, because I interpret that as if my partner is sitting there, if Mark's sitting there and we're out for dinner with friends and Mark says, you know what, I think Trump's actually got a really valid point with not allowing abortions, right. I take it like that, Like I could not sit there and go, yes, honey, I agree. Oh no, I would be like, are you fucking joking?
Totally. I have a feeling that he's meaning more what I'm saying in terms, don't argue, don't argue, don't take your shit in front of other people.
I agree with that, we have it.
I hate it, though, when you're with a couple, like we've got mates that just at each other all the time, and it's passive, a great and I'm like, this is so uncomfortable and it's so tedious listening to you to just on about the littlest thing. You know clearly you're not okay, but now you've bought it out here and just fake it because I don't want to hear you shit. Yeah, I hate when couples are mean to each other. In front of other people.
I hate it. I agree. And the thing that I find like with us, if we're out with people and we're having fun, if we sort of say something to each other, it's almost licensed to say it, but in a fun way where we laugh, where it's almost like I have a dig at him and it's funny. Writ and he does the same meat. It's not like at
home bickering sort of thing. It's more of, you know, like you've got more you can have more fun with it if you disagree with something in front of people and then it becomes a joke and you might laugh or whatever.
Yeah, unless it's too passive, people can hear the passive aggressiveness.
No, I'm not passive aggressive. I'm just AGGRESSIM so visible like it. Honestly, I'll give myself credit words to you. He's also written again, I disagree with always say I love you every day.
Yeah.
To me, it's not like we don't say I love you. But if that's your rule, you have to say I love you every day, it's like an obligation. We don't say it every day. The times we do say it, I'm like, oh that's nice. Yeah, I know. He loves me.
Yeah, and he means to be in every that. Like I think saying it every day is unnecessary. Showing it in some way is probably more on too point than saying it. But yeah, it's like I haven't said it today, better say it just becomes like I just did a fart. I love you, I know, like it's just a.
New I see this listen. I'm like, I wonder if he came up with that in consultation with Rosie or Yeah, it's just this thing like when you hear I don't know, like a guy going, oh, these are my seven rules, and it's like, did you enter into this relationship and you're just sort of dictating how it's going to be. Maybe it's not like that. I don't know, but I just I'm like everyone's relationship is different and people work in different ways, so.
You absolutely and will we literally never know what people's relationships like. You just can't like how well do you and I know each other? But you don't know what it's really like with Sam and I, and I don't know what it's really like with you and Mark, Like no one can really know.
No exactly exactly. So it's just I guess whatever works for you totally. But yeah that I'm like, how hard it would be coming together with somebody where you are fundamentally very different or you're raised in homes that are so different different.
Yeah, it did take a lot of adjusting for me with Sam because my previous boyfriend was fiery, so both of us would fin we'd fight, you know where. With Sam, I remember at the start going, oh my god, he just doesn't yell and he doesn't get so I had to try and alter, still being able to express myself, but not in the way that he's being really just loud and aggressive. Yeah, yeah, anyway, anyways.
Let us know what you think. Yeah, let us know what do you tell your partner to fuck off all the time?
Are you aggressive or passive? Aggressive? Thank you for listening everyone. Head to Show and Tell Online is where you can send messages to us. We love hearing from you. Also, we do have a Patreon which you can get memberships starting about five bucks a month. You get an extra little pot over there every couple of weeks and just goes to helping the running of the podcast. And so to our patrons, thank you and if you want to grab one, Show and Tell Online dot of something something.
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