A Nip/Tuck Too Far?

A woo. Hello everybody, it is Malon Monty.

How good is that song?

Who's bye?

Blur blur? Who? It was that real time? It was like a brick pop what it was called? All the British bands? That was a great song?

Was it was? It was after in a west end town in a dead end loud. Then then a west End girl, Yeah they redid it.

That's petal he's seventeen.

What was there? Other song? It's all right, all right, alay, everything's gonna.

Be and they used to wear the beanies don't be so.

Then? Oh, how good Mela Monte. Everyone, Hello, welcome to the pot. If you're knew, thanks for listening. If you're a regular, thanks for tuning.

No, hey, you know what, I'll tell you something to kick off. Okay, I got a message from one of our beautiful listeners. I'm sure she won't mind me saying her name, Fiona a dirty bird. She sent me a message. How is this so? I had put up a meme about like it was something like someone crying saying about marrying for love not money.

I saw that, yes.

Right, And then a text exchange between me and my cousin anyway, and she said, oh, I married a musician, and I was like, oh, well, you know, musicians are hot and whatever. And then she sends me a video of her husband playing a gig. He's in Taxi Ride.

Ah.

I said, oh my god, I love Taxi Ride. This song Everywhere You Go was in our wedding video. I loved it that she goes, oh my god, he did lead vocals and wrote that song.

No, so why was she complaining about him? What was she saying?

No, No, she wasn't complaining about him. Just we're talking about like marrying for love not money sort of, and she's like, oh, he's a musician. I was like, oh my god, that's massy.

I'd fucking hate to be with the muso. Sorry Fiona, but just the thought of doing night gigs, going to watch like, are you going to come tonight, babe? We're on at ten. Fuck no, I am not coming. At the start of the relationship, you'd be at all the gigs, you'd be starting a stage, and then towards like you know, fast forward fifteen years, you'd be like, can you sleep in the spare room when you get home? Now it's too late.

Nah. I'd be there as security.

Would you do you get jealous.

I actually used to be very jealous now, isn't it funny? Right? Like I used to be really jealous. Now it's flipped a little bit, whereas Mark was never jealous.

Because you've come into your own you know, you're Jackie owing yourself. I've never seen anyone have a glow up like Jackie, always having it at the moment, and that's you don't deny it.

Listen, I was younger, like if everything was better, everything was better. But I'm like, now, what do you care now?

I'm old?

Like no, I want to say old, you know what I mean, But like I'm in my mid forties. No one's looking at me, so.

They are made. You're delusional. Seriously, when I look at you, like those cheek bones you can't have, I'm just gonna keep complimenting you because you're so awkward with it. Your cheekbones are phenomenal.

I said this to you the other day. It's also that I have a really olarging.

It's it's a four dollar light from Cama.

It is a five dollar life.

You need to work on taking compliments, accepting compliments.

Thank you. There you go.

No, that's not a compliment. Saying you need to work on accepting compliments. That's why I'm.

Saying, thank you for saying I've got good cheekbones. You go, thank you?

There you go, Dad?

Moving on.

All right? So I watched Family Affair. I never watch movies because I can't handle that, like being an ADHD person. That's too long a commitment for me to watch a movie. So I prefer twenty minute episodes in you know TV series. Yes, but I watched Family Affairs. So it's Zach Efron's new movie with Nicole Kidman.

Never even heard of it.

It's on Netflix. I hadn't either, but I turned on Netflix. I'm like, oh, well, I think zach Efron is such a great actor. He's really funny, like, he's a very good comedy actor. Reminded me that I interview him when he was on High School Musical. I was doing Saturday mornings on Nova with Ryan Shelton. It was like my first gig into after I left Aubrey doing Breakfast Radio. I moved to Nova and did Saturdays and we got to go and interview zach Efron, and I told I said,

He was like a child.

He was like high school musical because he's still young compared to us, right, But he had his longish hair and he was just baby faced. But I remember feeling a full horn for him. Yeah. I was like, oh my god, this is wrong. I have a horn for a child. I mean he was it's probably like seven years younger than me. But he was hot and he was lovely, but so media trained, do you know what

My husband would come over and watch it with you. Does He loves a long I told you how to Losa Go in ten days? Fucking loves it.

My god, I love that is just because there's nothing I love more than watching a show with Sam. But we just don't ever agree on show.

So we find stamped and your mark partisan.

How do we go about this? Anyway? So I started watching it. I watched it over two lots because my attention span isn't there, but I laid down on the couch and it was so glorious and then I finished it off last night. Let me just tell you though, so this is the plotline. It's not spoiling anything for you because you're going to see exactly where it's going. But he is a movie star in it, zac Efron. And his assistant is this actor called Joey King, and I love her.

She played Gypsy Rose Blanchard in the She Did Too.

Yeah, she's so familiar and I was like, how do I know you? And I've just looked up and I couldn't figure out how I knew her anyway. She's so perfectly imperfect, Like she's not Hollywood beauty, but she's beautiful, you know what I mean. Like, she's the kind of girl that if she gets a nose job, she will lose her job because her nose is what makes her different than everyone else, like Jennifer Gray yes from Dirty Dancing. Yes, So she got her nose job to fit in and

And hang on, the sex scenes are good in this.

No, no, there's not really no, but like they're just standing at the shawly fucking horn with the waves coming in, and he's holding her from behind, not straggling her.

Sorry, yeah, I know what you mean.

Yeah, doggy stop, doggy stop. He's got his dick in her. Butm even though they're just standing looking, but he's so he's so much shorter than her that he looks stocky and like a boy just hugging onto this older woman that I can't get past it. There's a couple of things I couldn't get past. He's clearly had hectic work done. I know he broke his jaw, so his jaws now a different shape, but his skin doesn't move. It's like he's got fake tan on and he's yes, so botoxed.

Yeah, So it's hard.

Literally in the room with them, and you can see everything on their faces and I'm like, you're such a naturally beautiful woman. Yes, that much fucking botox and feelers in her face that you can't see anything past that with her and Zach. So when there's close ups of the two of them, you nearly gasp because it's like, what the fuck are we watching well?

Number one, I would feel like as an actor, right, your facial expressions are important.

Yeah.

So if you can't raise your eyebrows, frown whatever, hell and.

That, and they can't. And when she does raise her eyebrows a bit, it's like her forehead looks like crepe paper. Do you know me? Yeah, it's like it doesn't it looks like painful.

This is like the part of me feels real sympathy, empathy, whatever you want to call it, because I think if we who are just normal people have well, I'll speak for myself. I especially at the moment. I really I'm struggling with the concept of aging right because I'm seeing myself age very quickly, and all that's tied into imagine, Oh, you were so screaming constantly, it would be so hard.

You know, what this podcast is, Malan I having a conversation. If you want to listen in, you can listen in.

That's what it is. That is it? Right?

So we're not your intellectuals. We're not You're like, we're not extreme with any opinions. We're basic bitches.

Yeah and maybe sometimes not PC. Yes, that's what you like when you're with your friends. I saw Ashley Judd the other day.

Yes, and her sister is who judge.

Yes, the mum recently passed away. Yeah, anyway, I started looking at her Instagram page, so she's had a lot of I don't know, botox filler or whatever that it looks like, you know, when the gap between the eyebrows becomes really wide. There's something about it gives you this look where it pulls when you have so much because I think it probably do lose perspective, right you do. So from say the cheekbones up, it's like everything's tight

It does it can play and everyone starts to morphin looking like each other. Although there's a woman from the View who's eighty one years old now that women's talk, Joy.

Joy Joy was shocked eighty one.

You got to look her up if you don't know who we're talking about. She's a comedian who's been on the View forever. She's got like reddish hair. When I heard that she was eighty one, I looked her up and I'm like, where shut same as Martha Stewart, Like they've had the full work done so there's no like sag, but there's no sagging there at all. Like they're so useful.

That could be a face lift, because that's a face I think fixes that. Yeah, right, yeah, But I look at when I was looking at Ashley Judd, it's not even that I think, God, you were so beautiful, because it's not that. It's that I look at her and I almost feel like, I think, if you had not have done that stuff to the top of your face, you'd be more balanced and you would look like a beautiful older woman.

I think the key to it is because when I looked at Nicole and Zach, I'm like, all I see when I look at you. Two is work, do you know what I mean? So then I can't and then it's jar it's so jarring. Whoa. But I do get botox, and yes, a while ago, like years ago, I got it under my eyes too, and like so normally I just get it in my forehead, which costs me a bomb because my fororad is so fucking huge. I just get it at the forehead and then I don't even really get the crow's feet done because I got it

Her, you look back, you don't look back.

I don't look at the photos and go I looked like a freak show there. But she was like, and I won't remember. I went out to dinner with three ends, and she said when I went to the toilet, all of them are like, what the fuck has she done?

Yeah? Okay, yeah, like it was full on.

You know. And then but I said to her, the other day, I'm feeling so haggard. I think I'm going to go under the eyes again. And she called me straight away and she's like, you can't. You can't do it. Everyone needs an abby, everyone needs an abby. It was because it's such a slippery slope and you don't notice it, so then before you realize, you look like a fucking freak. But you think you perpect good. Yeah, but everyone else is like, what are you doing?

I think that there are probably really really and you'd have to find the like most amazing you know, cosmetic doctor or whatever to do it. I think the trick is if you're going to do it, just such small amounts that it you know that you're still able to have some sort of movement. She like crows feet and stuff. I'm like, that's where I smile. I don't care about that.

Have you heard of this salmon semen?

Yeah, I've heard of it. I haven't really looked into it.

No, my friend's doing it at the moment and she's like, it's amazing. Really Yeah, where they inject like salmon's spoof all under your eyes and stuff. Oh shit, you know what I want to get done though? The honeycomb thing.

What's that?

You get what it's called. But they I'm surprised, you don't know. They inject you with something and it's like underneath your skin or like goes like honeycomb, and it's really meant to make you look really youthful.

And I don't know, I'm imagining like it looks like netting.

Yeah, your skin. It's like it's been around for a couple.

Of years now, why are people doing all this stuff? And then they're like, you know what I want to get done.

It's over a thousand bucks ago too, so it's like I'll never do.

It, you know. It's like in that same way you were talking about Joey King right and don't change your nose? Like why are we changing the way we look? And I think maybe it's tied into we all say, oh no, it's how I see myself. It makes me feel better about myself. I believe, at least I'll speak for myself.

Yeah, And we spoke about it last part. I think where we feel a bit invisible and yeah, it's a full, a full thing. But I do think, like, how typical of us to be going through this because we'read life, Like this is our version of a mid life crisis. So we either put honey shit in our skin or we fuck another. Man.

I'm going to go the honey. You know what I mean, Well, you do the honey and let me know. I'm open to you a man. I'm not Nana good enough on my plate, you know. It's like the I'm not opposed to doing anything, no, but just I think it's just finding the right thing thing And it's always just about softening you a little bit, maybe like not that everyone wants everything tight and I'm like, yeah.

You don't want it too tight. You don't want to be too tight.

And Colie Jenna, where is she going to go from here? What's going when she is forty?

She's never looked better. She looks so hot to.

Me, Yes, but she's in her mid tow.

I know that's the thing. But she might just stay like that forever. I've worked with somebody who started when she was twenty one, and she doesn't look any different now than when she was twenty one, and she's in her forties. But is she just having a bit of botox or is she having no feeling? Likes to feelers a facelift, right, I'd rather just get a facelift, to be honest, when I get to a certain age, I've been looking at just you know, and stuff pops up on your Instagram and just.

The algorithm hooks that, like when people.

Have full facelifts and their eyes I can't see out of their eyes eyes, and I would never ever ever do it.

You can even just have like a lower face leaf where they basically just pull pull everything up. I'm like, oh yeah, I'll do that.

I also worked with a lady who got that rod pulling, you know when they put the rotty cheek thread and then pull.

It back, and like, nah, that was everything meant to be really shit, not good. And you're awake for that too, are you joking? No? I am not.

It's like when people were getting like the saggy eyelids cut off, you know, when you get like your eyelids are getting saggy and you get that too. I totally get it. But you do that, you can do that while you're awake. Julia Morris got it and told everyone about it. She got two things done though, so she was knocked out. Where a friend of mine got it because it was starting starts to if your eyelids dreaped too much into here with your sight. So she got it,

So moving on. Yeah, how is this for a blast from the past. I'm going to play you something that is tired to it. I'm about to tell you, do you remember this voice?

There will be a change of fortune for here this year. You'll be in the right place at my time for a year or professional opportunity. She will the today what was her name?

Good Karen Mooregold Good Morning Australia with Burt Noon.

And she had long blonde blie.

She's still going. She's got a YouTube channel as there many followers let me checkh three point five four thousand. No, look, no, not really, none of I'm sure they're happy with what she's providing them.

Wow, how did this come into your Okay?

You know that your Facebook alglorithm feeds you what you've been watching. I can't go past some video randomly popped up and they hook you in with this bullshit. So these are the two horror hopes that are going to I don't know, like have the best twenty twenty four. I go to scroll past it and then I'm like, no, I've got to go back. I need to know who those who the horoscopes are. Then it just started feeding

Really, so what are you?

I'm a Gemini?

Right, So you're the twins?

Yes, so everyone is like two faced. It's not two faced, it's that they're like almost manic sometimes, right, you can be happy one minute and crying the other. Yea like anyway, but I started then it started feeding me all this stuff. I started working out what my like moon, what my rising was, my whatever. It is so fascinating some of the people that do that stuff. It's almost like when I watch it, this is why I should never go to a psychic again. You know, when you know you're

What are they?

Like? What are they? Well, you will not be surprised. I know what your star sign is, right.

Oh my god, it's not cancer and Gemini.

No cancer? And Virgo, which are my kids? Oh my god, I've got the two D.

That's not true though, Hey, that's not true.

Of course it's not true.

You find it all a bucket of horseshit. I just like, I think.

There is definitely something in the way things aligne at the time.

You're don't know if there is. I just don't know. And because with every star sign like we're not, we're not.

Just one thing is a person no, do you know what I of course, your environment, the way you raised, all that stuff, but it's like, yeah, Cansarian's emotional, but it's like, you're not a Canserrian, and you can be emotional. You can be this and that Stacey who sometimes jumps on this pod and who's a part of Shantell with Us, she's a Taurus and she's very much a Taurus to me. Yes, do you know what I mean?

Like loyal, strong, strong, rock Like I'm like, oh my god, I'm really attracted to that kind of personality, so I'm not surprised when I was like, oh, you're that, but I also just looking at the time you were born. This is for anyone who watches vander Pump Rules. James's girlfriend is an astrologer and gets right into it. I need you know your time of birth and appears from that and I'm like, oh my.

God, no, look other than my and funnily enough for my kids when I read there, like but you know how you got the characteristics of your star sign or whatever? When I read them, they're actually very unlike my kids. But my husband and I are like spot.

On and should you be together? A Scorpio my name's a Scorpio and so's backster.

Yeah like yeah, lots of lots of traits that are hundred percent. Look, I don't know if we should be together. Okay, break for you?

Isn't that funny? It's but it's also the same as that I've got a girlfriend coming up to Barron for a birthday and she's like, I want to have a real Borron experience. Can you track me down a psychic? And when I was a kid, I loved psychics. I just was obsessed with them. But now I'm like, I just don't buy it. But then I'm skeptical, but then sometimes like, well, you can't have known that. That's so full on and so incredible when you can be that

I know, God, I'd love to it's time to see a sidekick again.

I think I'm starting to feel like that too. I actually want to see a medium because I really want my mum to come through.

In who There are some people that if you see them, they get some things so right and they get other things so wrong. I saw a lady once once. Everyone was like, she is incredible and the same sort of situation. Her like specialty was connecting with people who'd passed right. So I was like, awesome, I want to see your dad. She walks into the room and she sits down and she looks at me. The first thing that comes out of her mouth she goes, okay, Dad's here was okay.

I was pissed.

I was like, you know, fuck you lady.

No, because you know what she would have done. If she had said dad's here, you would have got my dad's still, like well granddad, because most granddad's are dead, so it would have been you're fishing it out and looking at you, you look Italian.

I think as I'm older, my nose has just never stopped growing.

No, no, it's not that. But you do not look like you're English, like you look like you've got an you're ethnic.

Funny. It was always a running joke in my family that I was there's nothing wrong with adoption. You gotta remember what really tell you that I was adopted and my surname was really Thompson because I came from an Aussie family because my family are all dark.

Yeah right, I mean asking dark. But you don't look like it's incorrect to say Aussie, but you don't look I know.

What you mean. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, that's all right. Take it as a compliment anyway.

Yeah, but if anyone knows an epic psychic who can do it, yes via zoom or whatever, hit us up, show and tell online and don't just like it has to be like blow our tits off, do you know what I mean? Don't give us some Oh this lady was a bit right, but a bit wrong. No, just the best of the best is all we want. Yep.

Not like the foots gray lady who you'd pay her in Siggy's when So she was probably the best. Yeh. Look again, I think she knows she wasn't. There was one in glen Roy. I think she did fucking piss me off too. She puts like this stone in my hand, like but it wasn't a stone. It was like remember that stage where people used to put like decorative marble things in.

Clear dark blue ones and stuff.

Yeah, but they was like white with you know, like an opalescent sheen on it. Thought maybe a bag from the two dollar shop. She puts it in my hand and closes my hand and she goes, can you feel that? And I was like what And she goes that that pulsing and I'm like no, because that's your dad's heartbeat. And I was like, oh, fuck off, and you know what, and then I feel bad for them and I'm like, yeah, I can feel it. Wow, this is incredible. Bitch about it. When I get out that.

Is so funny. Oh my god, I love it so much. I told you how my sister went to a medium. No, I'll carry you this so recently so, no, it was about it was probably about four years ago, maybe longer, so maybe a bit longer, maybe five years ago. So I think my mum was still around. And so when my Nan passed, I got one of my NaN's rings.

I know exactly which one you're talking about, and they get psychics to help with unsolved murders.

Yeah, no, but there was a show that and Allison.

Oh Dubois.

Yeah. Anyway, so she took rings to this lady and this lady was like, yeah, yes, she could you know, feel that Nan was there. And she was saying, so my sister and I were basically estrange then, and she's like, your relationship with your sister is is completely destroying your mum. So after that, my sister really reached out and we kind of started to rebuild from there, just a little bit by little bit, and we didn't really become close

Spot on spot on.

But then as Tara was leaving, she said this lady singing you are my sunshine, and my man always used to sing you are my sunshine to shit, like that's so specific.

Listen, there's a lot of things I think. I think we just got to keep an open mind. There's a lot of bullshitters out there, but there's a lot of shit going on, good and bad in this world. We've got no fucking idea.

Nah, And it's nice to be open because things like that. I'm like, you couldn't just randomly pick you are my sunshine when like every time we were in car wrote trips and stuff like that, Like if you were to say what song didn't and sing to you, I'd say you are my sunshine or Daisy daisy.

Oh.

And my mom says when the red red, like if anything ever came up about that. There was Remember I told you that day I was having really bad I was missing mum terribly and I got into the car and the Red Red Robins started playing. That was like, okay, And apparently it's easier for them to communicate via radio frequency.

Yes, and electricity and stuff. I believe in that and if it gives you any comfort, and even this psychic Tara saw what came out of it. You started rebuilding your relationship.

Totally and just going okay, well, NaN's there in some way. Maybe I don't know, but I've never got the bloody ring back. I want that ring back.

You get onto that.

Yeah, all right, everyone, we're going to get out of here. Thank you so much for listening. Hit us up with your psychic suggestions, and to our patrons, thank you for your support. Head over to patreon dot com, Ford Slash Show and Tell online if you want to grab a membership. I think they started about five dollars a month, and just help us with the running of our pod. Like I always say, if you can share our pod with a friend, give us a rating and a comment wherever

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