Hello, my name is Satasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud
or the Order Kerni Whalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it. She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast that's hit help you smash your financial goals and live your best life. Now, let's be honest. Who here has made New Year's resolutions only to watch them fade away by February. Maybe you promise yourself you'd hit the gym, only to end up paying for a membership you barely use. Or maybe you set a big savings goal, but somehow online shopping and brunches keep getting in the way. That sounds instead the best of us. It sounds like a
lot of us. I'm thinking that sounds like you. You are in good company. I'm excited with me today. As you can hear, is the woman where all are he to call our personal financial goals cheerleader, the one and only Victoria Devine.
Hello, Happy New Year. I'm very excited about this Beck. It's the time of year where we start thinking about what's next. So today we're talking about news resolutions, why ninety two percent of them don't last, and most importantly, how do we in the eight percent who actually succeed. So, if you are ready to make twenty twenty five your best year yet, my friend, this episode is for you. Why I think this is so fun because I am your personal hype girl, Like, whatever you want to do,
I'm there. You want to buy a pony or fantastic, You want to go to the gym, fantastic, You don't want to go to the gym? Incredible, even better, even better? But we do know the time of year right now is when we start to think about what's next. Like, so today we're going to be talking about news resolutions and why or depressing but ninety two percent of them don't last, and most importantly, how you can be in the eight percent of people who actually succeed when setting
these goals. So, if you're ready to make twenty twenty five your best year yet, this episode is for you.
So there's something really like satisfying about starting. You know, there's big goals on January first, it's like new year, new me, new year for me.
Wait, it feels so much fresher.
Than like your regular Monday, you know what I mean.
I mean In the She's on the Money community, we are like, you don't have to wait for a new year to set new goals, Like you can start anytime, which is true, right, But we'd be lying to ourselves if we said that it doesn't feel extra shiny. It does like it's a new diary.
Yes, if it's a new diary or a new month, or a new page or a new anything, it's like fresh, it's clean.
Let's start exactly. And you know what, that's actually a real psych thing, Beck, It's called the fresh start effect, and study show honestly, we've never had an original experience, Beck, but studies show that we're more motivated to set goals at the start of a new year or any milestone moment like maybe a birthday, or at the start of a new month, because it does genuinely feel like a clean slate. It's not just us being like, oh it
feels like that. No, no, no, that's psychological. It's ingrained in us. We actually get the opportunity when we feel like there's a clean slate to separate our past self from our future self, which makes it so much easier to believe that we can start over and achieve big things. Yeah. I feel like this is like, I hope your de Lulu comes true. True. I feel like sometimes you need to lull yourself into a false sense of confidence.
Yeah, I agree.
Did you go to the gym once this year? Victoria Devine? No, you didn't. Why do you think it's going to happen in January? I don't know, but I am overly optimistic. Yeah.
I think that's so funny that we think that on a specific day we're miraculously going to be a.
Different but we are because it's twenty twenty.
THRO believe you me exactly. So, Yeah, that was a big one. Really does kind of make you feel a bit like, Okay, what chance do I have a sticks? If you're listening to this, you have all the chances in the world.
We're actually going to do it this year. This is going to be our year to thrive.
Why do so many resolutions fizzle out before?
Just because we like are a bit d Lulu. If we're being honest, we set some really unrealistic goals and like we're all guilty of it, right, Like while the fresh start effect of a new year can be super motivating, it can all so make us feel overly ambitious and like, I don't want you to downplay your ambition, but that does often lead to really big, vague goals like I'm gonna save more, I'm gonna get really fit. What does
that even mean? Back when we say I'm gonna save more, what do you mean by that?
Like?
Are we setting a realistic goal of like I'm gonna aim to save an extra twenty bucks a week and I'm going to be doing this by X Y Z, Or when I say I want to get really fit and I can't do this, so no judgment. I want to be able to do ten chin ups in a row. Like we want to set goals that make sense but also are trackable. So research from the American Psychological Association shows that large undefined goals can quickly feel super overwhelming,
which decreases our motivation because they're hard to track. Sorry, it's too hard, Like it's too hard, Like it's too hard. It's kind of like climbing a ladder, but the rungs are too hot. The rung is like six foot off the ground and I'm actually five to two, so I can't reach the rung. Sure, but if each rung was only a foot apart, there's small steps in the right direction, I can climb that ladder.
What a gorgeous analogy.
Well things, I came up with it myself and it made sense in my head. Another reason why it's really hard is because there's a lack of a clear plan. I kind of touched on that before, but there is a saying a goal without a plan is just a wish. I know. These analogies or Instagram quotes you could say often feel a little bit like flippant, but legitimately, if you're setting a goal in your head I want to save more, you basically should just say I wish I
could save more. Yeah, research then says ninety two percent if you aren't going to be able to do that right, So we need to create a plan. Without a specific plan, it is so easy to feel lost and then lose momentum once the initial excitement fades, because do you know what happens? First of January comes right beck You've set the goal, you said save more, and you wrote it in your crispy brand new diary, and so you've looked at your budget this month and you're like, Slay, I'm
gonna pull that two hundred bucks out. I'm gonna put it in my savings account or look at me go. But you didn't make a plan, and you didn't do all of your budgeting. So come February you're like, ah, my housemate just text me and electricity is due. I'm just going to dip into the savings and pull those out because I actually didn't make a plan right and I felt really good about it. But do you know what that's reinforcing is the idea that you can't save.
So instead of going I can create a plan from the start, come February and you're dipping into those savings already, you are telling yourself that you're not good at something. Immediately you're going in and going, I need to pay the electricity bill. I'm so bad at savings. I'm not good at this, Like I suck. You set yourself up for failure. Yeah, it's not because you're bad at it, it's because the plan wasn't juicy enough.
True, And when you're save two hundred dollars next month and next month and then the whole visual cycle.
Exactly, we need to go back to basics. So say another example, you set a goal to save one thousand dollars and then every month you're going to tell yourself save more each month. But without a plan, you're going to come to December twenty twenty five and you're going to have nothing in savings because there's no set amount, there's no timeline, there's no strategy. You barely have anything for the first month. Like you look at it and you just think that you're terrible at this, And the
reality is, it's not that you're bad with money. In fact, some of the best people I know with money aren't the highest income earnest. They just create a good plan and stick to it. I'm not good at sticking to a plan either, but like you know, I'm just trying to be relatable. But life gets in the way, and before you know it, the goal it starts feeling impossible because it comes close to the time that you thought you would have one thousand dollars and then you just
didn't have a thousand dollars. Sure, and you're like, well, what's that reinforcing Beck, that you're bad at savings. Yeah, you're not bad at savings. We just didn't have a plan. But if we'd created some clear steps, like maybe instead you're like, Okay, cool, I want to save one thousand dollars and I want to do that. I don't know maybe by Meredith next year. How long is that going to take till it gets there? Oh, maybe I'll save
one hundred dollars a month. And maybe because you're a bite sized girl like me, you need to break it up. So instead of saving one hundred dollars each and every single month, because that coming out of your account, you're like, you could work if it comes out on the day that you get paid, you could automate it to a saving's account, or you could break it down right and you could go, well, Beck, one hundred bucks coming out of my account every month. That's not for me because
I see that amount and it gives me anxiety. Maybe you need a monthly goal. If you set up a direct debit today, Beck, And this is probably a good one as well, because how many of you are stressed about Christmas? So how hard Beck, was it to do Christmas this year?
Oh?
Man?
I wish that instead of the anxiety, be festive and the first time I'm.
Going to give you the biggest Christmas gift. Yeah. Go, you're gonna go set up a bank account. Yes, and are you gonna call it Christmas? Okay? And you're gonna set up a direct debit so it just gets taken out of your account. Nineteen dollars. Can you afford nineteen dollars every week? We're just going to direct debit nineteen dollars to Christmas fun? I reckon, So nineteen dollars Christmas. Next year, you're gonna have one thousand dollars for Christmas?
Oh wow, right, nineteen bucks. Great. But if you got to the end of the year, so the year gets away from me, start of December comes, you're like, far out, we're doing this again. At the start of December. I spoke to you. You said you were anxious about the amount of spending you were gonna do that month. Yeah, start of December you could have one thousand dollars, or start of December next year you could be trying to scrape together one thousand dollars. Do you need one thousand
dollars for Christmas back? Maybe you do, maybe you don't. Maybe you only spend five hundred of that. You've got an extra five hundred bucks, true, Like you don't have to spend the money that you save that specific goal. Isn't it amazing that you could have extra casholer at Christmas time?
I know this is the thing, but it's a great idea.
But nineteen dollars and twenty three cents each and every single week is going to add up to one thousand dollars and that would take the pressure off, and that would automatically make you good at money. Yeah, because right now you're probably and I know that you always say I'm so bad at it, like I can't save, I can't do whatever. Let's pretend it's me. Pretend I'm the direct debit finance godmother. I'm going in, I'm taking nineteen bucks off. You can't have it back, putting it over here?
You can have it at Christmas. You'll be like, okay, sorry, v Yeah, I'll give you one thousand dollars it's yours, but it won't feel like one thousand dollars. It will feel like nineteen. Yes. True, but if we set ourselves up, it's very easy. Small steps. But get to the month before Christmas where you're getting that from. We can do hard things. The steps need to just be small. So we want to focus on motivation. But we also don't want to just focus on motivation.
Because it's fleeting.
It's fleeting. She's here today, gone tomorrow exactly. I am very motivated. I've decided I'm in my fit mum era cool for five minutes. Five minutes a fit mum era. I'm going to have to create a plan that is sustainable because motivation is really powerful. At first, I'm like, we're going to do this, but it actually naturally fades, so it's not even oh, I lost my motivation. Like that's actually a scientific thing. Motivation over time fades because we get used to it. It's like shiny new car.
Let's say tomorrow, Beck, you got a brand spanking new car. How excited are you? Pretty excited?
I have do more writing the lecho, but.
How excited are you in six months.
That's a very good question, and honestly, probably not as.
Exactly that motivation for you. So what I want you to think about is ego depletion. It's actually a fascinating concept in psychology. It refers to the idea that will power is like a muscle, so it gets tired the
more that we use it. And research shows that every single time we exercise self control, whether it's resisting an urge to splurge on a sale, or it's Beck saying no to the third coffee that she's going to buy that day, or deciding to stick to a budget instead of going out with your friends, it uses up a little bit of our mental energy that's exhausting over time, especially without breaks or habits to lean on, that energy depletes, making it so much harder, and then we kind of
can't resist slipping back into our old behaviors because we're tired. Yes, like you're asking me to do something that is exhausting, like that, you're exercising self control all the time. Like if I said, hey, Beck, for the next few days, I want you to say no to two coffees, I reckon you could do that. It wouldn't be easy.
I send the next two month.
You need to say no to a coffee every day too hard.
Even if I say noddle coffee once, I'm like, I'm gonna treat myself.
To coffee exactly. And I think that we need to be really honest about this, And that's why goals that rely solely on willpower. Yeah, Like I'm gonna stop spending money on Uber eats forever, or I'm gonna stop buying coffee out because I'm Beck forever. They fail, Yes, And that's why I am such a big believer in creating the systems and the strategies that do the heavy lifting
and support you. So like, I'm not expecting Beck that you can do that, But what I am expecting is that if I give you a system and you get to implement it and not have to spend a lot of mental energy on it and it kind of happens in the background, I'm setting you up for success, even on the days when you don't feel like it. Yeah, because back to our thousand dollars nineteen dollars a week
coming out of your account. This is not even me being nasty, I promise, But for someone like you who doesn't lean into budgeting, you're like, really for me, like I'm a bit more of a yellow girl. I can almost guarantee that if we set that up and you go to check your account and you're like, oh, I only have twenty bucks in there, I still want a coffee, that's fine because I've actually already taken that nineteen dollars. We're not thinking about what we're saving, we're just thinking
about what we've got access to. So I've taken your access away, and now it's not taking up mental energy. Yes, if it takes up mental energy and you're like, oh, but I've got the cash and it's so hard not to spend it out of sight, out of mind, yeah, I took it away. I am the direct debit. I love that I reframed my entire brand image to be like, see me as the direct debit. Every time you set one up, it's Victoria taking control of your money. Yep.
I love that. Maybe it's me on a power trip whatever.
Yeah, and it feels like, oh, that's not my money anymore.
It's not. Yeah, it's not if you direct edited it. Victoria did that. Sorry, Like VI said a hundred money, Like, I think it's really important to remember that mentally, if things are hard, we're not going to do them anyway. The other thing I want to talk about, which I don't think you fall into very often. I do, though, and that's external pressure. So like resolutions, they're often based
on I would say, external expectations. Right, So you might spend a lot of time online and follow a lot of influences and you might be like I should lose weight, or you might see somebody in a flashy new car and you like, I really want to buy a new car. Or recently, I have seen so many people traveling that I'm like, oh, we should plan holiday. Yeah right, Okay,
why am I thinking that? Because I'm seeing other people doing that, Like Victoria, you had a big holiday this year, you don't get one next year, Like you know, A part of my budgeting with my husband is that, like we go on one big holiday and then the year after we might do something small, but.
Like it's not a big holiday, bound down the hatches.
Yeah, but like we've got to have some level of balance. And so I'm thinking I saw my friend here be for real, Like that's an external pressure and I'm back on the s like train. I've been doing so much research to this episode. Big self determination theory suggests that we more likely to stick to goals that are meaningful to us personally rather than those that are driven by like trends or social pressure.
Yeah.
So if I'm just seeing people online and I'm like, I really want to do that. I want to go on a holiday, and then I set up my savings, hown't I start saving? Like that's not going to help. It's not going to keep me motivated. If I'm trying to like big a goal here, save for a home or make a big investment because everyone else is doing it. You're like seeing ally friends post their sold stickers and
you keep telling yourself, Oh, I really should save through deposit. Yeah, but deep down you don't care about owning a house.
That makes sense.
You'd rather actually travel or grow your career, do something else. Yeah, that's really valid. And we need to look at ourselves and what our goals are and what our priorities are, because if the goal doesn't match up to what we truly want, your goal is to lose motivation and then you're going to give up. And if we give up, then what are we going to do? We're going to
perpetuate this idea I'm not good at money. It's not that you're not good at money, it's that you never had the right systems and processes in place.
Powerful, But it's.
True also Beck having an all or nothing mindset, Yes, that is a big one. You're a bit go hard to go home. And I rate it. And it's so funny, like anyone who's been listening to the show all year, Like, Beck, what are you doing this weekend? I'm going to Japan? Can you afford it? Nah? But we're going boots and all in. I love that. And many of us actually fall into the trap of like all or nothing, and we feel like one slip up is a personal failure. Yeah,
And psychologists actually refer to this as cognitive rigidity. Well yet right, it's an actual term. And I have to always say rigidity consistently before I say it aloud in my head because it's a high word for me, where small setbacks actually feel like a reason to quit all together.
And I feel like I'm introducing a lot of psychology into this episode because I've done so many budgeting episodes, so many goal setting episodes, and so many of us still go But I'm not good at it, Like girl, it's actually psychology totally.
She's got receipts.
Ye, come with the receipts.
Come with the receipts.
You are actually good at money. You just have a really bad system, and I'm here to fix that for you. So let's say you set a goal to stick to a strict budget for one month. Beck midway through the month, you splurge, so you're going out for dinner and drinks and you bought yourself a new vape. Is that relatable personal attack?
Yes? Absolutely?
But how many times have you set a goal and then done something like that? No judgment, but you've thought, well, damn it, I've already blown my budget. May all just keep spending?
Yeah, every single mother, we just keep speaking again.
Halfway through, may as well just keep spending. Instead of seeing it as a small, very manageable slip up, you then treat it like a total failure and you abandon the goal, You wipe it off. You're like, I can just save next month. Yes, fine, I don't even care. I'm just going to buy so many more of this thing. Do you know what I'm going to treat myself because I've already come this far, But like that mentality is
going to financially ruin you. Adjusting for like one dinner or one d rail or one purchase that wasn't planned for, isn't actually going to derail you from overall progress. Like let's say that your plan was to save five hundred bucks this month, and after work, the girls will like, do you want to go out for drinks? Back? Do you want to go to the pub? And I know you don't drink a lot, but like you went out to pub, You had a few soda waters, you bought
a palma. Yeah, palmers these days one are they like twenty six twenty eight usually insane? Right, So you've really spent thirty bucks. Then all of a sudden, you did buy a few little cheeky bebs for other people because you're a generous type. You've spent fifty bucks that night. Are we going to wipe off the rest of the four hundred and fifty dollars that you could save? Yeah?
True, Mentally I would, I'd be like, oh, no, I've just dood but like, oh.
I've already come this fire, and like my generosity got ahead of me and I had this fancy meal out that I wouldn't have done. I had dinner in the fridge. What am I doing? So we're going to throw the other four hundred and fifty bucks away? So you're telling me that pub meal that did cost you fifty bucks, Like you're going to throw four hundred and fifty dollars away because you didn't feel good about that decision.
When you put it like that, it's quite alarming, isn't it That we do in.
The bin doesn't matter.
Yeah?
True, you could not literally pay me to put four hundred and fifty bucks in the bin, But that's kind of what you're doing. And it's all about how you're choosing to respond to how things make you feel. So what I would say is reframe. I'm not going to hit my goal, but I'm going to go four hundred and fifty dollars. Do I actually need to be budgeting for nights out?
Like?
Is that something that is happening every month? Is that something that's consistently derailing me? Maybe I need to reset my expectations of saving five hundred bucks a month and go gin know what, I'm going to say four hundred a month and I'm going to put a budget aside that I can dip into. So I don't feel guilty about those things because I love going to the pub with my mates. I just have a really good time. I want to go out for that meal and that
twenty eight dollar palmer. While exorbitant, like be for real, it's a chicken snitty with some sauce and ham. Yeah, it actually sparks a lot of joy in my life. Yeah, so we're going to readjust we're not going to think of that as a personal failure totally. Anyway. I feel like I've yapped for a while. So we're going to go to a break, and after the break, I'm going to be sharing the game and changing steps I made
them up. So yeah, anyway, that are going to help you to leave the ninety two percent of people behind and join the eight percent who actually follow through on their goals. Beck, because what year is it? Next year? Twenty twenty?
Thrive?
All right, stick around.
Before the break we dug into y ninety two percent center of news. Resolutions don't stick, unfortunately, but these here to help ninety two percent of us. For the eight percent, I'm like, good for you, girl and boy, and they then so V tell us, how do we join that magical eight percent.
I'm here to make your Delulu come true true.
Okay, let's do it.
You're welcome. But and I said this before, we just need to get really clear on our specific goals. It's not just about writing them down. I will explain that fully, but it's also about creating that framework and that structure, because, like I think, if I then say Beck, what's your structure, you're like, oh, I don't have one. Okay, well you're setting yourself up to fail. I can give you the structure. So we need to be super clear on that goal.
It doesn't matter what it is. To make your goals actually achievable and make your Delulu come true true, we're going to focus on making them specific and actionable. Okay, if you said my goal next year is to save more cool, you're a ninety two percenter's I'm going to happen. Instead, we are going to give ourselves a clear path forward.
So if you want to change that mindset, we're going to say exactly what we want to accomplish, down to the sum that you want to see in your bank account on a specific date, and things you're going to do to make that happen. So if you said, by the end of next year, I want a thousand dollars additional in my emergency fund, and I'm going to make that happen by transferring nineteen dollars every single week to that account. It's probably going to happen. Yeah, you automated it.
Do you know how that's not going to happen? Back is if you go in and manually cancel that direct debit like otherwise, it's actually set, it's golden, it's good to go. So another example, say you want to save two grand for a holiday, and you're going to put aside one hundred bucks every payday and you're going to cut out on dining AUP. You're making a plan, you're putting it aside. But I reckon the real magic in saving is direct debiting because like, you're actually in control
of it. It's not the bank, it doesn't cost you anything, nobody else is getting involved. You are setting up an automation on your banking. And the cool thing about direct debits, I think so many of us have this connection with direct debits in our head that they're just for bills and stuff, Like you signed a form and the electricity bill took it out of your account or your phone
bill did the same thing. You can actually go in to the settings on your bank cap and go I would like to set up a direct debit for a dollar, and I would like it going out of my account every single day to this other account. It could be with the same bank, it could be with a different bank, Like, it doesn't matter. But you can set that up and then if you need to, you can go in and cancel that. But like, you can make a whole heap of rules, like you don't even have to have one
big one. You could be like, okay, cool, So every month, maybe this nineteen dollars. You're like, I'd like to feel like it's ten bucks. So instead every payday, Beck, I'm going to have fifty bucks come out on payday and go into that account and then every other week, ten bucks is going to direct it.
Yeah.
That doesn't feel so bad, does it. That feels it's still one thousand dollars. Wow. So if I said, oh, you see that, director, but it's ten bucks that goes to your savings every single week and fifty bucks comes out on payday, yeah, are you going to go in and actually cancel that?
Probably not, But I'm going to take it out at some point.
Yeah, that's fine. It's of a coffee, that's fine. But we're setting up these behaviors to be as successful as possible. And that way you know exactly how much you're saving, when to save it, and what changes you need to make to reach that goal. Sure, if after a month back you're like, I have not enough cash in my bank, well we might go in and shift that and go, well, maybe it's not one thousand dollars by Christmas, it's five hundred bucks by Christmas. It's not actually a wish anymore.
It's a plan that is in action. Yeah.
And also, like five hundred dollars, fifty dollars whatever, it's better than zero dollars.
I promise feach to you like it's Christmas Day. So I know that if I said to most of you, if you had an extra five hundred bucks this Christmas time, how good would that feel? You'd be like, oh, what would have taken a lot of pressure off? We can do that. Yeah, fifty bucks a month this time next year.
You are going to be focused on the festivities and the good feels and the warmth, and you're not going to be anxious. You're not gonna be stressed. I'm kind of talking to myself, but I'm talking to everyone else.
We're manifesting that for everybody we are, we are with one hundred percent. So I feel like I'm starting to convince you.
Yeah, genuinely feeling motivated.
Okay, Okay, Okay, let's stay on that. So I want you to also make a mindset shift, because remember how we said that we kind of throw the baby out with bath water earlier in the episode. If you spend fifty bucks out, then you throw four hundred and fifty away because you're like, what's the point of saving. We're gonna have to do a pretty good mindset shift here,
and we're gonna shift our mindset from perfection to progress. Okay, So a plethora of different studies back show that being flexible and allowing for like small missteps can significantly improve long term habit formation. Okay, that's kind of cool. You don't convinced, but I felt you set a goal to save two hundred bucks a month. Sure, you're going to cut back on takeout, You're gonna not go shopping. Then one weekend it's exactly like the pub you splurwd you
on dinner and a shopping spree. You go ham, you spend a whole two hundred bucks. Instead of thinking I have blown it? Why bother? You're gonna pause. You're going to acknowledge, Yeah, like that wasn't in budget, here's what it is, and then we're just going to adjust. Like maybe you go, all right, well, I did go out for dinner this week, had the twenty eight dollars Palmer. It made my eyes water. I had plans V and I We're going to catch up next week for dinner.
I'm actually going to text VT and say, hey, can we just do dinner next month? Need to reschedule? Or hey can we just go for a walk around the tan and grab a coffee? And then you're gonna put that money into savings instead. So we're going to make it up somehow, Okay, We're going to like think strategically about like how do I change this slip up from being a bit of a slip up to like not actually missing a beat this month? And if it's not possible,
that's okay. We can have some level of self compassion and be like I'm still on track, Like I'm doing really well and if an opportunity arises that I could chuck an extra fifty bucks into my savings, I'm going to try and take it. But I'm not going to let one set back completely derail our progress of achieving that goal. Yeah, there's more research because I feel like research helps. I feel like research makes us feel like it's not just us.
Yeah, too validating.
I feel like it's validating. But it's also like, oh, Beck, we've never had an original experience. It turns out a much us. So some research from the University of California found that people who practice self compassion so they're kind to themselves after experiencing setbacks, are far more likely to persist with their goals.
That's really kid sentence, but it's.
Also like, I'm not very self compassionate. We're compassionate to one another, but like self talk, the amount of stuff I say to myself in my head that is unhinged. If I said that aloud to you, honestly jailable, you'd be canceled right, Like how many times you'd be like I can't believe I X y Z. But by acknowledging our slip up without self criticism, I'm not gonna say it's easy. It's like a muscle. We've got to practice it.
These people are able to maintain their motivation and maintain their confidence, which helps them stay committed to their habits, so we want to reframe it. I often ask myself, would I be comfortable saying that to my best friend? Yes, so that's your complete sidetrack. But me, after having Harvey, I feel like it's a shit show with your hormones and your mental health and whatnot. I kept trying to fact check myself and being like, would I say this
to a friend? Absolutely, I wouldn't. Why am I saying it to myself?
Like?
Why am I YEA being so nasty to me?
And if you like pretend that you are a different person, like say, there's you, the physical being, the vessel that holds everything together, and the you that you're talking to when you slip up up, you know, the different.
People telling me so like Beck, you went out to the pub twenty eight dollars parmer, You're internally being like, I'm such a idiot. I can't believe it. Can't be bothered. I'm not going to say like I just do it again next month. Imagine if you picked up the phone. Heyve, guess what I've done. What would I say?
You would be very kind?
And what would I tell you to do?
You would say rest reset.
You deserved it, babe. Was it a good parma?
Exactly?
Twenty eight bucks? Was it extra crispy? It's going to be worth it whatever your source was, homemade, Like, I'm going to ask you, oa pama, Yeah, and I'm going to go that doesn't matter. No, you had a good time. We're still going to save four or fifty bucks. Yeah, and you go, oh yeah, that's a good point. Tell your friend to yourself. Totally great, Corby, And that segway is really nicely into my next point, which you've heard of accountability, buddies.
I have until right now, Yes you have. Maybe I've heard a different version of what you're about to say.
Surely, but there is science behind having an accountabiit, buddy.
Sure someone that's going to keep you on track. No in the mean way, just in a.
No, but yeah, I could you exactly. It's like I go to pilates, but I only want to go to polarates when Jess is going to pilarates. So she texts me and tells me what classes she's going to book into and then I book in those ones, and then I feel bad if I don't go because Jess is going and I told her I was going instant accountability partner.
But again, I'm bringing the receipts to the table because research from the American Society of Training and Development found that people are sixty five percent more likely to achieve a goal. These are some big numbers of this episode after committing to somebody else. However, there's a little caveat here. The success rate jumps to ninety five percent when they have a specific accountability appointment or check in. Yeah, I do agree. You tell me you're going to do something, Yeah,
probably going to try. Let's go back to the savings example. Yeah, so the nineteen dollars you said before, Yeah, I'm probably going to do that. That sounds pretty good. But if I kept checking in on you, have you've done that? Big?
I'm stressed of this hypothetical thought.
I'm like, I got to do it. I won't. I don't want to stress you.
I'm nineteen dollars.
You can send. The ongoing commitment reinforces dedication and follow through.
I should say too, like I just got a Pete. I know a lot of people can't afford that, and that's so so so reasonablecause it's very expensive. But I think that if you don't have like a buddy, you're a friend, like because not a lot of people are surrounded by you know, those kind of people. If you sign up to any Time Finners and you tell the receptionist, hey, can you hold me accountable? Or like I'm telling you right now, I'm going to be here tomorrow.
Find someone in the Shoes on the Money Commune, find anyone anywhere anytime. I'm going to make a post in the Shehes on the Money community, probably way before this episode comes out, because I'm excited about this, Like it'll
be like a find an accountability buddy yep. Like you can find a friend and even if you won't meet in person, you could like text each other or Facebook messenger each other and like be like, hey, cool, I just wanted to check in on your goal, and then like you can do it for each of you.
Yes.
But another good example of this is say you and a friend you both to go to Europe this summer. Sounds pretty good, sounds great. It's gonna cost five grand each instead of just keeping a casual. You're gonna set up a weekly check in. It doesn't have to be serious. We don't have to go out for this, but like, maybe you put an alarm on your phone text Beck about Europe. Easy, but you're going to set up weekly
check ins to track your progress together. So then when I set this alarm in my phone text Beck about Europe, I'm going to be like, hey, how's your savings going for Europe. You can be like, oh my god, thank god Ve text me and reminded me I haven't transferred. Oh okay, but it's more likely to happen, So then you can share how much you saved that week, or like you swap tips for skipping takeout, or imagine you
wanted to go out and we both suffering. I don't know if that's the right way to put it, put whatever, but I'm like, oh, Beck, like I haven't saved anything this week and I was meant to go out. Maybe I should say no, And you go, oh my god, I'm going to have to do the same thing. We're both wallowing in our own sadness together and it's gonna be successful.
I agree.
It makes me feel better that you are not able to go out either because like so cold. But know, when you're accountable to one another makes it so much harder to like slack off and then keeps you motivated. Plus you're gonna celebrate wins and you're probably gonna have a little bit of a laugh over some setbacks, making the journey a lot more fun. And like when you finally achieve it together, you're like, yeah, we did this, Like can you believe it? Like do you remember you
can be sary? We were so bad at this, but we still did it. Like we're so proud of ourselves. This idea of accountability and I guess support is one of the biggest reasons why I started cheese on the money. So hard to do money when you're doing it on your own.
Yeah, that's very true.
Text me and be like, b I bought a Palmer and I'd be like, oh my god, I actually went out and I bought the sweet treats and.
Oh makes you feel good. You're like, Okay, well I'm not.
I'm not that bad. But both of us, maybe next week we're gonna have to cut back on coffee because like we really need to bump that up because this week we're both a bit naughty. You're more likely to do those small goals settingtivities then you are to not. And I think it's all of the small, tiny things along the way. Like I didn't even know I could put an alarm in my phone that says every week at like six pm on a Wednesday, text Beck about
Europe Savings. Yeah, and then you're like, oh, okay, Like and then you text and you're like, oh my god. Yeah, Actually, I've been thinking about that, Like small things that push you in the right direction. What does that go back to beck automation. So it's not just automating your direct debts, it's putting calendar reminders in, it's trying to keep accountable. It's making those relationships part of the framework, and that's going to help.
I love that when I put like an alarm on and I've labeled it something, I even get stressed at the thought of my old self telling me my now self to do this thing. So even if you just have like some sort of automation where you're like your phone's buzzing, it's reminding you to send two dollars to your savings, it's like, okay, I'm going to do it. Just leave me alone.
Please stop it.
I genuinely am feeling so motivated to set my own Newyear's goals. I just feel like you've had some effect on ev I hope.
So, because I've been drying really hard. It is. And I don't think it's a secret that I am a goal setting girl, like I am kind of like a bull with a red flag, like I'm going to go for it. But I also have the privilege of having a background in psychology, so I have learned a long my career and my journey what it actually takes to turn goals from which we're thinking into something real and
something relatable. And it's all about kind of understanding how you're wired and then working with that because goal setting for lots of different people doesn't work, and you need to find a framework that works for you. I have been very open I have ADHD And maybe you're like, oh, V, that sounds insane, Like I don't need calendar reminders, I don't need direct debits. I don't need, you know, to put an alarm in my phone to remember these things.
Good for you better at it than I am. But a little tools and tips and tricks that I've learned along the timeline that have helped me be successful, and I'm hoping that they might be able to help you. Neurotypical or neurodiverse, it doesn't matter. But like sharing is going to mean that you've got something else to ponder, and you might go, that doesn't work, throw that out. But this other tip and trick that I learned because I was thinking about that is going to work.
We're all heading in the right direction. Well for you like a perfect mix of hyphperman and strategist.
You just got me a strategist. That's very exciting. And I'm just going to do a little bit of a shameless plug here please because it's twenty twenty Thrive and last year I released the Best Year Yet course. Do you remember when I did that and it was wildly popular and I didn't realize. I just thought it would be really fun to do like a full goal setting and motivating session with the community, and then it kind of extrapolated out into a whole course over a number
of weeks, and I've decided to bring it back this year. Yeah. So I designed it to help literally anybody, so whether you are like saving or you're paying off debt, or you just want to go to the gym. More, it's about setting realistic goals and then sticking to them with confidence. And then I'm your accountability partner, and I think so many of us don't have accountability partners, and like, I get very excited that you might want me to be yours. I'm not just going to help you set goals. I'm
going to teach you why, how, what, when where. I'm also going to go through the psychology of your personal values and the life that you want to create. And it can be a little bit confronting, but we're even going to talk about what's been holding you back. Then, after I've taught you all of that and we've gone through that content, because it's actually a bit of a chunky course, I then pair that with I guess you could call it some deep work with stacks of actionable tips.
Because I wanted everything to be super useful. It's also beckside. No, it's super aesthetic. I got my graphic designer to make all of your activity sheets and all the course. Like, I didn't just draw this on and and then be like, oh, here is a good idea. My graphic designer has made this look so slay, but it helps to break big goals into really manageable steps, helps you to stay accountable and make sure that you have a very clear path
towards being successful. I have just started reading all of the feedback from the people that did this course in January. So many of them are like, oh my god, without this, I wouldn't have achieved it. Without this, I will purchase my house, I got out of debt. Like, there are so many good stories, which is why I was like, we have to do it again. So it's basically everything that you need to make twenty twenty five your best year yet. Yeah, lovely thrive in twenty twenty five. That's lovely.
Well honestly sounds like they go up. We all need. So if you're ready to finally join the elusive eight percent I am who actually crush their new year's goals, head to our website or hit the link in our show notes.
Oh I love it. Happy twenty twenty.
Five, Guys, Happy twenty twenty five.
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