What is Bargain Regret?

Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.

that you weren't planning on buying. But we all know that super icky feeling of regret or anxiety of buyers remorse. Have you experienced this?

then yeah, I gotta get it. Yeah, but they were like one hundred dollars each. Oh my, so like the cushions were so expensive. But then in my head at the time, I was like, well, the couch is already really expensive. That looks really good, Like it's another three hundred dollars, sure, no worries. And I said, oh, can we have the pillows too? And he was like, oh, yeah,

they've just come in there so nice. And I was like, yeah, yeah, that's so nice, like ten out of ten and you know, then he gave us free delivery and stuff and it was really nice, like a bit of a money in there. But then then I was like did I need the pillows? Did I need a d And then I stayed awake at night being like this, this is not who you are, Victoria. You don't just impulse by cushions.

giving advice and people like what the heck? Like, why are we in this situation? Is that what people are thinking now? They're like, Victoria, you literally had buyers remorse on the weekend, and now you're trying to tell us to not get it. No, I think, if anything, you will have a Christy is rough.

wish you hadn't spent that money. And I think that that's a really important thing to talk about because it could be on big things or it could be on small things. I mean, mine feels like it was on really big things, like cushions. Is that big? I don't know they're big cushions, but I feel like I think that's big.

is in budget, it's a purpose exactly. We need to talk about healthy boundaries of buyers remorse today as well.

And it can happen when you choose one alternative over another, like you might be in the shops and it might be Peeler and you're picking between, you know, the blue one and the gray one, and they both have different features, and then you pick the gray one, and then you regret it because you really wish you got the blue one, because you just should have gone with what you knew, not this fandangle new one that doesn't do what you thought it was going to do, and you thought you

were investing, but it doesn't make sense, and you genuinely feel like you've picked the wrong option, even though in the moment you were like, oh, but I you know, I did a little pros and cons list, but it's just not what you thought it was gonna be, and the actual utility of that item is less than what

the perceived utility was. And I feel like the pill is a good example because that's one that's happened to me where I should have just bought the tiny ninety cent plastic pill out coals, but I bought this fancy boy one and now it's like the worst thing in the entire world. But it was like fifteen bucks for a piler and I'm committed to it, So are you relatable? It just didn't meet my expectations, you know. On the flip side to that is what's called process regret, and

that's why you blame yourself for having a faulty purchase process. So, for example, when you wish you'd put in more effort to making a purchase decision, like actually maybe going online and buying a green cushion if that's what you wanted. Victoria or when you wish that you had made less effort to obtain the desired results, Like I just took too much time and energy and effort and it just

wasn't what you expected. So I feel like these are two different scenarios that are important for us to understand because they actually, like I mean, the outcome, the feeling is similar, but they actually come from different places.

but we hear now, Frank Green. Water bottles, I feel like are a cult. They are a cult. I am in the cult. I'm not saying I'm not in the cult.

I needed? Probably not. Is it in line with what I believe my values are? Absolutely not? But you know what, I was influenced, So I think that's what created that dissonance for me where I was like, oh, oh, we're here, and I mean now I have two so maybe it is now in line with my values. But my values of change and yours can change. True, beg you just

need to be fluid about it. But I think it's important to talk about the fact that sometimes you'll make a purchase and then you'll go, that isn't me, That isn't who I am. But I actually do think it's important to break that down at the time instead of being like, oh, that's not who I am, full stop, Like, well, what led you to that purchase? What made you think

that that was a good idea? Because often if you can identify that, it stops it happening in the future or enables you to understand that maybe your values are changing, or maybe something is different about the way that your past values are in acting with your current values. So

I think that's important as well. So we won't go on and on about that, but I do think it's important to understand where these things come from, not just wipe them to the side and say, oh whatever, I just won't do it again.

it is that you buy it without any thought or effort. Usually, and expensive things do make you compare like alternatives and do your pros and con lists, and that usually results in a bit of a process regret if you make the wrong decision. I mean, the Peeler example makes sense here. I mean it wasn't a super expensive example, but let's pretend it was the couch I purchased on the weekend.

Imagine if I'd done all of my research and I had picked the couch I want, which I did, and it's stunning and I really like it, and I had found it cheaper online. But by buying it online it meant that I didn't get to sit in at first, which to me was actually really important. I didn't want to buy a couch online because if it's uncomfortable, like, what are we going to do? So I saw it

in person, I know it's comfortable. Money win. But what if I'd found it online much cheaper, and then I'd purchased it and then I got it and it wasn't comfortable. That would have taken me down the process of process regret because I'm went, oh my god, I did all my research and I found it the cheapest and then I hated it. Does that make sense? And then I was really annoyed because I'd done all this research and

it does look stunning. But I guess the ultimate outcome for me, and I don't know about everybody else, but it's not actually esthetics with the couch. It's whether I can snuggle up on it and watch season two of Y Lotus.

use the couch as a good example here. Imagine if I was buying a ten thousand dollar couch. Well I did not do that, but I then found it online for four thousand dollars, like money win, that's a big discount. I'm so excited because this is a really good quality couch. So my expectations are up here because it's a ten thousand dollar couch. Back it comes the quality is absolutely not what I expected. But if the full value price of that couch had been four grand, maybe I would

have been okay with it. But I think it's important to understand that sometimes there's actually a disconnect, even when it might be what you paid, but also it can be the discount of it. Like you find a cute outfit online, you're like, oh my gosh, it's designer and it's like seventy percent off. Then it comes and you're a bit disappointed. You created this unrealistic expectation in your head that it was going to be better because it was technically meant to be worth more.

it doesn't hit doesn't hit a right. So I think it's important to talk about these things as well, because it goes both ways, Like you could spend heaps of money on it, but also there's this disconnect between people assuming that if they're getting a massive discount on something,

the quality must be lat yes, so I think it's sense. Yeah, And then you might feel a little bit more guilty because you're like, I got it on sale and I shopped around, and like, I should love this more because it's heaps, and I just think that that is ridiculous as well.

our usual buying process. So when I talk about that, I'm not just talking about Oh, this only impacts people with ADHD. This impacts absolutely everybody. But when you are somebody who is a bit neurodiverse. These things are usually on steroids. They usually just jacked up a lot. More So, if you're an impulse purchase and you don't have any type of neurodivergence, think about that but being ten times worse if you are on some kind of neurodivergence spectrum.

So it can get completely out of control. And I think it's really important to acknowledge because neuros blastiness comes in lots of different levels. And sometimes you got the like mango lime one. Sometimes you got the Habernero chili, you know in the bottle that has the skull on it completely dironically, those would be big impulse bies for me.

work for different people. But often if I say no, you can't have it, Beck, let's go home and think about it, You'll be like, but I know I want it, Please let me have it, Like I'm going to take it home today. But if I said, hey, Beck, actually let's just put twenty four hours between it one day, one day, that's it. You can have it tomorrow, no questions asked, you're more likely to go all right, that sounds like a good deal, as opposed to oh, Beck,

you probably don't need it. I'm going to try and talk about I'm not going to try and talk you out of any purchase because that is not my place. It is not my place to tell you how to spend your money. My place is educating you on how to make the best decision for you, and sometimes you need a little bit of time. So let's step back to when you purchase your fitbit. If I said to you, hey, Beck, and we were there shopping together, which we were not, I love it. I think that fit bits so sick.

How about we just pick it up tomorrow, Like, let's come back tomorrow. Let's just make sure that you're getting the best deal on this, Like maybe we can look it up online, or maybe we can, you know, have a thing about it. We might pop past Target or something see if they've got it, because you know it might be cheaper. Like let's have a look. You're less likely to say no, I still want it if the idea of still obtaining that item is on the table. Yeah,

does that make sense? Like if I say not beg you can have it, but tomorrow, how would you respond to that?

it more now you said I can't have it. So I think this idea of putting twenty four hours between you and your spending is really really helpful because it goes from twenty four hours and then you're like, oh, I'm busy this afternoon. Maybe I'll just pick it up on the weekend, and it just gets pushed out and pushed out, and then that sense of urgency is often lost along that journey, and then you go, oh, you know,

I don't even need that whatever. I've moved on to this next new thing that I'm thinking about, and that that's good, Like that's a great outcome. But then if you're still obsessed with the fitbit in twenty four hours or you know, the next week, can we get it? Then it's in line with your values. Obviously you want it. As I said, it's not my position to tell you not to spend on things. I think it's just being a little bit more mindful about it. And as somebody

with ADHD, being mindful is actually very hard. Being mindful is actually something that you have to consistently work on. And if you say, oh, be more mindful with your purchasers, I'll be like, oh, so should I look at the pink and the blue one? Is that what you mean? Like that?

a boat. Oh well, how about we make this chair a boat? And like it's kind of lame when you think about it, but how can you best distract yourself in a way that you don't feel like you're missing out? Because if I take that away from you immediately we feel like we're missing out. And that's where money becomes something that you continue to stick your head in the sand about.

dopamine hit sooner. So you want a dress for this weekend, or you want a new shirt, or whatever it is, you're really excited about it, you go shopping, you're like, oh, that's leads two hundred bucks, But actually, if I put it on after pay, it's only fifty bucks right now, and I get to wear it this weekend, and we justify our purchases more readily because we don't have to part with all of that money upfront. It puts a lot of time between that purchase that you make and

having to repay that debt. And while that can actually be really good for some people, like I, have had messages from people who are like, I can't believe that you talk about it after pay or buy now pay later services like that. I use it for my budgeting, for my kids, for whatever else. And if that is the way that you are using a buy now, pay later service, all power to you, because that is honestly the responsible way of using it. From my perspective, that's

quite intelligent of you. If you were using it to budget and you're like, all right, well, you know, I've allocated myself fifty bucks a week, and I really want this top. I'm actually going to be able to cash flow it. That's genius. That's not how I would use that service. That's not how most of my community use that service. That is not how most of the people I interact with use that service. They use it because

it is an instant gratification tool. You can have that item or that thing right here and now, and we can worry about paying for it later. It is a reverse engineered layby lay by. Historically, and I feel like every man and his dog remembers the target toy sale in the middle of the year. I don't know if you remember it, but like I remember, yeah, yeah, I think it was like July and you go down and

pick out some stuff for Christmas. Mum would put it on layby, and over a period of time you'd pay it off and then you get to pick up your lay by. I remember doing it for clothes as well, Like Mom would be like, all right, we're going to go lay by some clothes for next season or whatever it was. And it was a way of experiencing delayed gratification, which is actually really powerful when it comes to risk

and reward. So if you have to delay gratification, you have more time, more patience, You're more likely to really value that item, You're more likely to really want it. If you put it on layby, You're going, I really want this and I'm willing to wait. Beck, let's talk about your fit bit again. If I said to you, okay, cool, we're gonna go down to Jbhi file or wherever you put your fit bit, we're gonna lay by it though.

So it's gonna be laybyed for the next six weeks, and you're gonna pay a small portion off over the next six weeks every single week. Do you still want that item?

But on a buy now, pay later, service, you're more likely to go and just buy a fit bit because that's what you wanted, and then next weekend you're like, oh, well, maybe I want an Apple Watch, like my mate's got an Apple Watch, and I was at the pub talking to them about that. You know, maybe I'll work towards that. And I just think it actually instills this idea that's stuff is worthless, like it's valued at less to us because it's more disposable now, And I think that that's

actually not that positive. So if you are using it as a cash flow tool, literally, more power to you. I never could. I can't be trusted with it. But if you're not, I think it's important to have a look at how you might be using that service because often we will justify to ourselves that it is a smart service to use because you know budget and cash flow. But what are you purchasing on there? What are you

actually using that for? Because I'm pretty sure the statistics say that people will spend forty percent more if they're putting it on buy now, pay later, as opposed to having to part with cash that's in their bank account.

at marketing. He will send you like a free set of steak knives to make the deal even sweeter. And I know that that, you know, seems a bit lame, but there's science behind it to say that that is actually going to get people across the line when it comes to purchasing. So marketers know more about your interests more often than you do, which is terrifying, especially in

the digital age of twenty twenty three. My husband, huh, saying husband, still, so novel works in this space, and genuinely it terrifies me sometimes to know the patterns of behavior and how that works and what particular people are following and what you might need and being able to predict things, and sometimes it can be really helpful, you know, like, for example, you're targeted advertising that pops up online when you've been looking at bikinis and you know, another company

comes up and you're like, I've never seen that, but that's actually exactly what I'm looking for. Other companies might use it. So, for example, I know that banks do this. So if you have a search history of like crews or holiday or flights, or you're looking at accommodation, they will send you targeted advertising for their traveler cards because obviously you fall into this niche group of people who are probably going to travel overseas and need some type

of travel card. That makes sense. But they happen to know more about your future needs than you do, and I find that quite terrifying. And they use data to stimulate demand essentially. So there are heaps of strategies and I studied it at UNI as well, but strategies like marketing scarcity and discounts and targeted advertisements like we've talked about it on the pod before putting something in your cart and quote forgetting about it and them sending you

a discount code. It's not an accident, and while it's a money win for you, they're still getting the sale, and that's a strategy for them to get that sale. Remarketing is a really big one. You know, when you visit a certain website and then every single ad that you see for the next week is that website that you went to. That's actually a targeted strategy to send you back to that website to finish that purchase or

buy more things. And they basically make you fulfill your desires by making a purchase, which is terrifying but really important for us to understand. And I think that it is so so important that we know what that looks like and how it works, so that when it comes up we can be like a sneaky sneaky from them instead of oh, you're right, I do need that thing.

So I think it's just again about education, right. I've always thought, well, very thoughtful that these it's so kind to them more erectly to me.

else's opinion on a purchase I'm making. I just need to make sure it makes me feel like my best self, not what Beck thinks about my new top, if that makes sense. But the more susceptible you are to interpersonal influence, the more the chances are that you're actually going to suffer from post to purchase regret, so looping back, and

it actually includes two different dimensions. So if we talk about informational influence, that's, for example, when you align on your tech friend who says, oh, this laptop's pretty sick. You know it's got this feature in this feature, and you know, I personally have been influenced by this before, where I'm like, I don't know the first thing about laptops, but someone told me that the surfaces were good, and then I asked somebody else and they said, oh, we're good.

So I made purchase literally based on my tech friend's opinions of a certain product. But then normative influence on the flip side is how your purchase decisions are influenced just to maintain your image, which is kind of the keeping up with the Jones's side of things. And I think that that is really important because that doesn't serve you in any way, shape or form. And we've talked about it on the Pod before, but I think this is a really fun stat to throw in here beck

And it's about the likelihood of people going broke. So there was research done a while ago in the US and they found and we talked about it last week, but the people most likely to go broke are the people who live next door to lotto winners. And we're not talking about like multi million dollar lotto winners, because if that's the case, often the person who wins moves

out of that suburb. We're talking not enough to move out of the suburb, but enough money to change your lifestyle, maybe put a boat in the driveway, or some new cars, or to always be seen in new fashion. And that is normative influence, where the people around you might have elevated their expenses and therefore you try and keep up with it as well, even though that's maybe not aligned to your values or your goals or your income.

stuff which I convinced myself I needed. I spent one hundred and seventy five dollars on plants, and I now regret that because fast forward ten months and they are all dead because I'm not a very good plant. Oh no, I feel like that's super relatable. I did that, Oh absolutely that. I bought a really nice monsterra plant, And now Jess has my monsterra plant at her house, trying to rehabilitate it because I basically murdered it. Oh no, Yeah, she says she'll give it back, but I'm not sure

if she will because I don't know if I trusted. Yeah, yeah, we will get there. Georgia says buying a kindle. I wanted to be a reader so bad, but I'm not so. I thought buying a kindle will make me read, but it just sits there and it collects dust classic. That's good. I love the concept of a kindle, but as somebody who only ever seldom reads, like I just there's no point me having one, Like I get through maybe two or three books for pleasure each year, and like it

just it's not worth the money. No, head on down to library, I reckon.

feeling of fomo away from you. So I think a lot of the time often if we say well, just don't purchase it, you're like, well, I'm probably going to do it anyway because I want to have that dopamine hit. I think it pushes it off a little bit and allows you enough time to reflect on your values. The next is really really boring. It's make a budget, check it, have a look at it, be really realistic with it. When I say make a budget, don't make an aspirational budget.

If we're talking groceries here, don't go, oh my gosh, I'm a single gal like you are. Seventy five bucks is you know good each week? I'm just going to spend that if that's not what you're currently spending. Because your grocery bills one hundred and fifty a week, one to cut it in half is insane immediately, but true. You're going to feel deprived, You're going to splurge on things at some point, and you're not going to have

created a realistic budget that we can stick to. So if we are a bit more realistic with our budget, we can actually, you know, make some space to treat ourselves within reason. The next is actually breaking down the price. And this one hurts. I hate it. It's disgusting and it makes me sick. So how many hours work does it take you to earn that item? And we want to work out our post tax hourly rate, not pre tax,

because that's too kind. We want to work out, okay, how much do I take home per hour and you might work out all right, well, you know it's nineteen dollars an hour in my pocket after tax. Oh how many hours is that on a fitbit? Would I work twelve hours genuinely for a fitbit? Like if I held the fitbit in front of you and said twelve hours work and you can have this, would you be like heck yes? Or would you be like, oh, that gives me the ick? Not sure if I can part with it?

know I'm going to ask for the best deal. Like I'll go in and be like, oh, hey, you know I've got a team member starting and I need a new laptop, or I need a new mouse or whatever I need. I think that they have now come to the conclusion that I am going to stand in store, I'm going to google that product and I'm going to see what it costs online, and then I'm going to ask them to sell it to me for that price

like they just selling. Yep, they do it every single time, and there's absolutely no judgment there because I think that they would do the same thing in my shoes, Like why don't you just ask for the best deal? What's the worst that they can say? No, did you when you bought your fitbit, did you google how cheap it was online and see if you could get a price matched.

So ask next time. The worst thing they can say is no. But also if you want to take a bit of that anxiety away, because like a guarantee that as much as I'm an advocate for this, I'm only going to be asking in places that I know have this policy. Like I'm not just going to walk into any business and be like canny price match and they go, no, we don't do that. I'll be like, oh that's all.

But also try using cash if you possibly can, because honestly, it hurts more having to hand over a crisp fifty dollar note and getting broken change back as opposed to tapping your card. Obviously, if you're out shopping and you have a shopping list, try really hard to stick to that list. And then the last one I have is actually make sure you understand returns policies. And I say that because I have been stung with this a few times where I have bought from like a store and

then realize that they'll only return for store credits. Have a look at where else you could get that particular item that does have a really good returns policy. So if you do have bvirus remorse and you go, all right, I really want to return it, you can get all your money back and this works. And this is, you know, again, unsolicited advice. That means that David Jones is probably not going to sponsor us in the future. But that's okay.

I'm here to help you guys. I know that sometimes they're concession stores, you know how they have shops since shops, yes, you know, like the branded companies like you might have like a Country Road and a Scanlan, Theatore and whatever else. The overarching David Jones policy of returns applies to all those stores, whereas the standalone store might have a store credit only policy. That's yes. So if you're like, oh, I really want this dress but it's a bit speno.

Oh I don't know, maybe I'll go buy it. If you went and bought it from, you know, the store directly, you might go, oh, fire out store credit only or no returns. But if it's for sale in the David Jones or the Maya, that return policy exists for that. That is a very smart but we should leave it there because we have definitely gone over and our producer is going to cut us off, so let's leave before we get cut off. Let's go. Let's go, let's go.

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