Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and the storytelling of you to make a difference for today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Let's get into it. She's on the Money, She's on the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. My friends, today is Friday, which means it is time to get the team together and celebrate you our incredible Shees on the Money community. Today we'll be sharing our favorite money wins.
We're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this week is all about the best way to pay yourself when you run your own business, and we unpacked something that has slid into our dms this week about friends who never pay you back. Team, Hello, and welcome to the show again this week.
Hello, Hello, Happy Friday.
Are we excited to be here? Have we had good weeks?
Yeah?
Yeah, you sound really convinced on that.
I can't remember anything that happened.
We talked about the oils. You threw a sandwich, a sandwich? Yeah yeah, yeah, has been a good week.
What about you?
Just yeah, nothing exciting. I went to the dentist. I a house. I didn't throw a sandwich the house. You're move going slowly because this is the first time I've ever moved a whole house. Painful, Like I've always had housemates up until when I moved in with my partner, and obviously then we had all the stuff, so when we moved out, had to move all the stuff from that. It sucks.
Yeah.
I saw on TikTok you're doing your medicine covered, and I was like, relatable content. She has an entire washing basket full of medicine cupboard stuff, and I was like, yeah, same girl, same. It's painful. And then for worse, when you're packing up the house, because I've just done the same thing. When you're packing up the house and you're like, this requires an entire box what the hell Like, I went to Bunnings and bought boxes and I was like,
well need ten ten boxes? Yeah, no, Victoria, you needed fifty boxes. Adam in a mem like what are you doing? And then just how much room stuff takes up. It's making me want to throw everything I've ever owned out because I don't need this. I don't want to.
Well, you know when you go through a miscellaneous draw and all these things you haven't used in years, I feel like you need so I need to do right now.
It's the bottom drawer in my kitchen and I took that bottom drawer off the hinges and I tipped it into a box. And then when I moved to the new house, this is how organized am. Jess is going to be horrified because she's like the organization queen. I tipped the box into the bottom drawer in the new house. That's very cool, Thank you, Thank you. Here all week if you would like some extra hair ties, some birthday sparklers, or some zip ties, or I'd probably used batteries, that's
what's in there. But it just made me feel a little bit more at home having all my junk in the rightful junk draw.
I love that saving time, saving money, saving space.
I need to organize that stuff. I'm gonna just pick up and drop off. Love it. Just as like I'm judging you hardcore majority, all right, well not over your dead body is community money wins we love those. That is something just can get around. So jess what have you got this week for us?
Some really really good ones this week? My first money win comes from Hayley who said money win. My kids started preschool, so my daycare fees have harved money loss. I now have to pack her lunch box and she eats like a grown man, and my grown crow.
Bill will probably double and she eats like a grown man. This just like little preschooler with the oversized You know those dumb man meals do you get in the frozen food section or green for men? It kills me. I'm like, what about that is man's size? That is now just a regular size, like regular size frozen meals. I swear a diet size. And then those quote man meal You're like, that's a normal pasta serving. What are you guys talking about?
I don't understand almost not enough exactly. You've got to get the garlic bread as well, but you got it. Yeah, okay, it's rude not to.
We all love garlic bread. My next time comes from Amy, who said money in It. Started my own copy and content writing business after absolutely demolishing every episode of the Business Bible in a space of a week. I work in local governments, so I'm just waiting for approval for this secondary employment. But I'm so excited for this journey.
Is that?
Do you know how many messages I've had this week about the Business Bible? People love the Business Bible, I know, but like I've let it sleep. I haven't brought it back. But I feel like twenty twenty three has been everybody's year. Like I'm hearing from everybody, They're like, you know what,
this is my year. I think we're far enough out of COVID that people are you know what I think I do want to change something about my circumstances, or do want to start a side hustle, or I want to know how to you know, run x y Z. So I've probably had like four or five messages this week, which I think is a lot of messages. I know, you guys probably like Victoria when my mum texts me more than that, But five messages. I reckon being like Victoria,
bring back the business Bible. It's making me think about it.
It's gonna be what they want. I said, trying.
I'm trying, but I'm a busy goal It's true.
All right.
Well, my next one you win this week comes from Laura, who said money. When I took my car for a service and they tried to charge me an extra fifty dollars for special oil getting the Oh my god, she said. I questioned it, and they said, probably should have told you first, and they wrote it off straight away.
Yeah, no, you guys weren't gonna tell me first.
Were you.
I don't think the oil specially, No, don't. It's like I was at the petrol station the other day. I think it was like a cowtext or something, and I was just like, you know, when you're feeling your fuel tank, you mindlessly stare off at something because you're not meant to use your phone, and I find that quite challenging,
which is probably a personality defect on my behalf. But I was looking at the sign where it's like we've recently rebranded, and I was like, oh, cute, so they've like renamed their petrols and it goes from like petrol to special petrol and diesel to special diesel. And I'm like, but it didn't change the product, and you only have one diesel? Why is it now special diesel? I don't get it. I don't get it.
There are special diesel now, I wonder what that looks like.
Is it just more expensive?
Now?
Why is it called special diesel? If anyone could tell me, I'm actually genuinely excited to learn about it because they don't understand why they've rebranded the name to special. May me feel good putting in my car that. I'm like, this is clearly better than the you know, the cow takes down the road special diesel.
I do, that's very impressive.
Is that actually impressive? I thought I was just going to get crucified for not having a hybrid.
I mean, I don't know enough, but I would maybe one day crucify if I know more.
Yeah, okay, well do you get educated? I will run perfect back on track.
We have another money in here from Grace who said win slash loss. I finally hit my sixty K savings got but got notified on the same day that I had to pay three thousand dollars to get my visa granted. At least I'm officially a permanent resident.
Now, yeah, welcome.
I'm going to say that one's a little bit wholesome, and then I want to round it out today, ladies with a money loss and a little bit of an update for people who've maybe heard our previous episodes. It comes from our friend TJ and she said, hey, guys, I just found out something that might be worth mentioning on the pod. It turns out the federal government has recently abolished the ten percent HEX discount roof if you've
paid for your course fees up front. I just paid ninety percent of my fees last week to now find out I still own the remaining ten percent.
That's insane.
That's been for money loss, isn't it.
That is not acceptable. And just when you said it, I was like, I didn't think that was a thing, Like I haven't seen any updates, And we did some little googling and I'm currently on Study Assist dot gov dot AU and it says the Hex help upfront discounts ceased on the thirty first of December twenty twenty two. So I feel like that is a little bit sneaky of their behalf to have not said anything. Yeah, I also think that that is quite rude, given we know
that CBI impacts the indexation of our hex rates. Yeah, and the fact that they know we're struggling, So it would have been nice to keep that kind of discount of like, oh, Beck, if you paid off early, like you'll get a discount and all. It sucks, but like it's the best we can do. So now, if you're eligible to make a hex slash help loan repayment, there's actually not a lot of black carrot on a stick
to paid off early. Yeah, why would you really because you're not getting that ten percent off, which is essentially a ten percent return on you paying off the debt, So yeah, just is going to index. So yeah, frustrating, but keeping in mind if you're keeping in mind, especially if you're going to go pay off your hex debt, that's one thing I would say, I guess on the flip side, Jess is as much as TJ that sucks.
I also would really recommend before paying off any type of debt, calling up that person or calling up that company and saying, well, can you please calculate it? If I pay it today, because I remember when I was paying off my debt. And this works in every other
circumstance as well. If you pay off your debt today, maybe the interest hasn't been calculated for that week or that month yet, and you paid off, and then you still have outstanding amounts, so you actually need to get the final figure on the day that you're planning on paying it. And I would do that as well for your hex help debt to make sure. Okay, well I know that. You know when I listened to Sheese on the Money last year, they said I could get a
ten percent discount. Make sure before you actually act on anything, you triple check it because things like this happen. They can abolish things, they can change it. The government is fluid, and it sucks. It really sucks. I really wish we could help, but unfortunately that's just not the case.
Yeah, sorry, TJ.
But like Chris, it's paying off ninety percent of your health debt. That's right. That is very impressive.
It must feel good, mustn't. That's it for this week, ladies.
Oh my gosh. All right, well let's go to a break, because when we get back from the break, I'm going to dive into the best way to pay yourself when you run your own business. And then we're also talking about DM we got this week, which is all about friends who never pay you back. And I feel like that's a spicy topic, So don't go anywhere, guys.
Alrighty back from the break and ready to jump into a juicy, juicy money dilemma this week?
What have we got you?
Guys?
Hi?
There, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve? The Sheese on the Money Team is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website and leave us a short voice recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
He So, my question for you, guys is regarding small businesses. I've worked from home since twenty nineteen as a home hairdresser, and then last year I made the move to rent a chair and work from a salon. Since moving into the salon, I've felt a lot of pressure around what I'm doing with my money because I guess I don't have the knowledge on that. So my question is what's the best way to pay myself being a small business and how much should I be putting away for super
tax the business savings? And I guess it's different each week. So I guess if you could give me a percentage of how much I should be putting away, that would be amazing. And any other information.
Thank you, Becker. I do think your best place to handle this? How would you suggest she moves forward?
I would say blow it all on things that you don't need.
Oh that's a good suggestion. TVs, mobile phones, TV's and mobile phones.
That's the first thing that you thought of. The people don't have TVs, not just one.
Multiples, several TVs, several mobile phones, and lots of takeout meals.
Oh yeah, it would be the best, but mainly on new breats. So you have to pay the fees and stuff too, right, yes, yeah, so.
The small business doesn't get all the money either, would be ideal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's you are an inspiration. I guess that's all we have time for. But I would like to chime in because it turns out I really like talking. I feel like this is a really good position to be in. It sounds like you're absolutely killing it, But what you want to do is set up a good
business cash flow system. Now I will go into it at surface level here, but on the Business Bible podcast, I did a cash flow Q and A with Moyob and I have also talked about exactly how I structure myself, so how I pay myself, how I pay my tax, how I pay my bills, how I make sure that I've got money for payroll, etc. And that I think will be really helpful, But it's thirty eight minutes long, so I just don't think we have time to answer
it in that depth. Most small business owners that I've worked with historically put aside about thirty percent for tax. So business tax is less than thirty percent, but it gives you that buffer and makes you feel really confident that if anything pops up, you've got a little bit of money to the side. And there's nothing better. Honestly, as a business owner at tax time, when you have to pay your tax and your tax account is not empty like that is wild to me. I'm always like, oh,
I did so well. Then when it comes to GST, it can be really helpful having a separate account for GST because GST is goods and services tax here in Australia. It's kind of like left pocket right pocket. If you're charging your clients or your customers GST of ten percent. The company doesn't actually get that, they just pass it straight onto the government, but it does come into your account, so you need to separate it out to make sure that if you get paid GST, it does get paid.
And all of that can usually be automated through an accounting software, so like moob or zero or something whatever aligns to your values and your budget. But I would recommend an accounting software just to keep on top of things. Then when it comes to personal finances as a business owner, I feel like most people really fall behind on that. So they might have nailed their tax, they might have nailed their GST. They pay their staff, you know, they
do their super. But a really important I guess delineation is actually treating yourself as a staff member. So what are you getting paid, what is your super? How often are you going to commit to paying that? Maybe you just pay your own super quarterly and once a quarter. You go in four times each year and you pay your superannuation, but it is really important to pay that.
There is a book recommendation that we will put in these show notes today called profit First, which is a bit of a backwards model that I find works really well for small businesses who need to change their mindset around paying themselves, because if you're not flourishing, how on
earth is the business flourishing. So as much as we are told you should never take profit out for the first ten years to build your business, like that's how it works, I feel like in twenty twenty three that's actually really backwards and making sure that you and your family are thriving and surviving and doing well is actually
going to create long term and more sustainable business. So that is where I would go, and I would make sure that I check out the Business Bible podcast because I feel like that can be really helpful because I literally tell you what bank accounts I have, how the money goes in, where it goes, what that looks like, and I feel like that could be really helpful. I mean, it's not advice, because obviously you do you run it
how it works for you. It's just me explaining how I've worked it out over the years to make sure it's as functional as possible for me, because if it's in front of me, I will spend it, so we need to remove it. Any other tips, just you're a freelancer, how do you deal with it?
I don't know if it's a little bit different from me because I obviously don't have employees or anything like that, Like it's just me. I'm a soft tree.
But you still have money coming in that you need to like pay tax on.
And yeah, I kind of am a fan of the overestimate rather than underestimate, so I put I think between thirty five and forty percent aside for tax, and that to me just means that there's a buffer like if my numbers are wrong or something like that. And then at tax time it's kind of like, oh, I get some tax refunded, even though it's technically like I had it sitting there.
Already, So which shit makes you feel good?
Exactly? It makes me feel like I'm getting a refund, so that's like bonus money, which is great. And then I do not pay myself superannuation because I work a normal job that does pay me superannuation, so I, you know, would potentially be investing some of those funds. But that's not within my super that's outside of it.
Yeah.
No, it's interesting to see how people who freelance on the side of a full time job deal with their finances versus someone who their freelances their full time. But as we've said, every financial circumstance is going to be different, and the way just manages her money versus I manage my money versus any other business owner might be different. You actually just have to find a cash flow system
that works. But there are a few foundational blocks, like having a cash hub and then having a tax account and having a GST account and making sure that you know, even in your business, you have a level of an emergency fund to make sure that you're okay. I think all of that needs to be the foundations, and then after that we can start, you know, tailoring it to make it work the best for you. But honestly, having an accountant in your back pocket is one of the
best things in the entire world. Like my account Luis shout out he never listens to my podcast because he's not my target demographic, and it turns out he's actually really financially literate.
Yeah, I hope so.
But like he's a good egg doing good things and I know his Ea Gran she listens to the pod, so hello, Hi.
Having someone do your tax as well life changing. I think yea one did mine for the first time last year, and turns out I can claim part of my rent because I have a dedicated to talk to someone. Because there's a lot of stuff. I would have never known that. If someone hadn't said to me, hey, did you know you can? Never would have thought of it. So I want to be real pervy. How much did you spend on an accountant?
Was it a lot?
No? It was.
I want to say, like one hundred and fifty ish, But then I can claim it untas next year, so it's actually not as bad as people seem to think.
It is.
Money, like the amount of money that she's for that referral, by the way, thank you.
So much, well brilliant me.
Oh what's her name again?
No?
No, no, I'll tell you offline because I don't want to bombard it. I don't want to bombard it. I already send all my friends to it. But it's one of those things that I think people assume seeing an accountant might be, you know, blowing money out of the water, but you know it's not actually the worst, and being able to claim it on tax the year after it feels good. So you're like, I'm getting a little bit more back even though I already spent it. But it's nice.
Plus I imagine the amount that you're the extra amount that you're making through the accountant makes up.
For spending, and they often think about it. An accountant works with businesses every day, so you know, they might sit down with Jess and be like, oh, I've got another person who does freelance work similar to you, and they've actually structured it like this. Have you thought about that? And Jess might go, oh, fire out and you didn't
even know that was an option. So I think having the right people in your team or in your court or in your corner or whatever we're going to call it is actually really constructive because the more people you have that help you leverage your business the better. And it doesn't have to cost thousands. It could just be you know, getting someone to do your tax once a year because you're running the financials for the rest of the year, and that can actually be really powerful. But
this is cheese on the money. Let's not go on and on about business stuff. As I said, we will consider bringing back the Business Bible if people want it enough.
Excellent advice for you, not that i'd expect anything less from you. If you do want to submit your money dilima to us, though, make sure you're head to our website because we have this fancy little thing in there called Telby. You can automatically record it. It's so quick and easy. We'll have it linked in the show notes, so if you've got something you want to share with us,
click the link. We'd love to hear from you. All right, now, let's get into a juicy, juicy DM that's slid in this week, because I feel like it was very controversial when we put it up on Instagram, And if you're not following us on Instagram, you should be because we're talking about all the spicy things whereat she's on the money a us.
As a twenty twenty three News resolution for me to just be spicier in general as a human. So this is where it started.
I feel like you're really succeeding, especially with this one. Do you want me to read it out?
I do, Let's go.
Our friend said, Hey, V loving these dms hopefully you can help me out this week. I have a group of girlfriends and we go and have quite a few social outings together. There is one friend in my group who just never transfers us if we can't split a bill. She never offers to pay, and for some reason, never transfers. She never offers to order the uber, and her split fair never works. I don't know how to approach this with her, but we are all getting quite fed up with it, thoughts.
Understandably fed up with it.
I feel so.
Frust I know.
And it's the use of the word never, like I feel like I just never never, never, never, never, And that just makes you feel her frustration through this.
She never does it, and then she never does this, and then she never Do you really want this friend as a friend, because friends don't do that to friends.
No.
I get the not maybe putting everybody's dinner bill on your card, because not everyone can necessarily afford to foot a bill for eight people, but that's.
Not even what we're talking about. She doesn't transfer the friends that coughed up the dinner bill that's you to pay back.
Because then like they're doing you a favor by putting let's say a couple of hundred dollars on their card, and then if you don't pay, they're like they've just brought your dinner for reasons.
Yeah, it's a paying for everyone is let's say five people only three paid. That's a huge chunk. That's three times whatever that's out of your account that you're down. You know, so everyone when it comes to those situations, if not everyone's paying, it's just such a huge amount to be paying for you.
The system doesn't work. It doesn't mean if you don't work, this doesn't work.
It's disrespectful. I genuinely think it's disrespectful of the friendship because Jesse, if you were like, oh, I pop it on my card and I'll transfer, You'll be like okay, cool, no worries. Can I do it right now? Like yeah, And I'm that person who has worked out pay ID and even if you haven't given me your bank details, I just know that I can pay ID you the money because I just don't want to owe you anything because I just feel like that's awful. It gives me the ick. Beck have you ever had this?
I have had this. It's so you have awkward I have I have. It's just so awkward because how do you, like, how do you bring it up with your friend? Like it's just you know that when they usually have the intention is what they It seems like they seem like they have the intention to pay back, but unfortunately it never comes and then like chasing that up becomes very very uncomfortable, and so you end up just letting it go. But how many times can you just let it go
before you like owed so much money? But yes, it has happened to me. I've had a friend like that and they how.
Many times do you send like a follow up of like, hey, beck, I haven't seen it in my account yet, and they always reply like yeah, it's oh maybe I'm with a different bank and it hasn't gone through it. Like I feel like I don't know how to navigate that I should.
You know, usually is like oh, I've really genuinely forgotten to pay you back, and they are really bad at remembering. So my cutoff is about two reminders and then I'm done. And then I'm like I'm never gonna see this money again and I just have to deal with that. But yeah, it's unfair when people do that. It's really unfair I'm like, UV, I feel so uncomfortable when someone buys me something. If they don't give me their bank account details, I'm going
to look up their mobile. I'll find them somehow. That money's coming back. And I wish everyone was like that.
Yeah, I would pay back dinner if you paid for it.
It's so nice, thank you.
Yeah, or maybe I wouldn't. I don't know you're getting paid heaps now a big dog.
That's true, but it is worth mentioning because we did talk about scarcity mindset earlier this week. We did maybe the people out there that are really hesitant to pay people back or to split a bill or to share a bill are those who are really scared and genuinely anxious about spending money, but they still want to be included in social outings.
So that's something I can understand. Yeah, look, I can see where that's coming from. But I think that there's a line being crossed there. So like obviously going, oh, I don't want to go out, Like sorry, Jess, if you invited me out for dinner, like I can't come because oh, like spending too much or whatever. It is, Like I feel like scarcity mindset in that aspect it's impacting only you. But the second that I go out for dinner with Jess and then I don't pay Jess back,
that's financially detrimental to her. And I feel like that's really rude. That's crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed. And your boundaries are yours. But like she has done something really nice for me and paid for it because it's just easier, And I think it just is a
massive test of the relationship that shouldn't have had to happen. Yeah, Like I just yeah, if you can't afford to go out, don't if you have no intention of paying back your friends, take cash, like give it to them in the moment, Like I can't think of And I've had to say this before. Do you know what I haven't had to say it in the recent years. I think it's like
ten plus years ago, very university student thing. I feel like, thankfully I haven't got friends like that nowadays, maybe because I ditched them because I don't want friends like that. Go figure, But I remember being like, oh, yep, So we'd go out for dinner and then I'd have like a separate group chat with a couple of people and then I'd say, oh oh, posting group chat that we all bring cash, because there was always that one person. So I'd be like, oh, hey, guys, like, everyone bring cash,
We'll pay for dinner this way. Like how frustrating? Yeah, but frustrating because then we'd have to all get cash out because we knew if we didn't do that, this particular person wouldn't pay us back. Jess, have you been through this? How would you deal with it?
Not like our friend here on a consistent basis, Like we did a big Christmas dinner my group of friends and I paid. There was twelve of us, Oh my goodness, big bill, which was fine. Like I volunteered. I was one who organize it, no stress.
Why I have no doubt you were the one that organized it better, No doubt you would have sent them a spreadsheet guaranteed and been like this is the menu, this is how much it's going to cost for a head. You just tell me you transfer and then I will pay for the whole thing. Is that what happened?
It was very democratic, We voted on them. It was great, but there was we paid in couples. One couple hadn't paid me and I left it I reckon like three or four weeks because I was kind of like, no stress, like it's not the end of the world and it's not like they've ever not paid me before. I was like, you know what, Christmas people are so busy, like it
really doesn't matter. And then I did end up shooting my friend a message and just like, hey, so sorry, I don't know if you've maybe transferred it and missed a number, because I've done that before, like got a number wrong and sent it to the wrong person. And I felt so guilty having that conversation. I felt, but it was like a good chunk of money. I was like, no, I do want to follow it up, but I felt
so terrible. And then she also felt terrible because she had just forgotten and she's okay, so but it was like that thing I said to her. We were both just like apologizing back and forth. I was like, you know what, neither of us don't an apology. Yeah, you made a mistake. I did, like I'm just following something up, like there's no bad life, but that's.
A different story and that's so fine.
Correct.
I feel like if I was in this circumstance where someone owed me for five dinners or something like that. I actually would just have the conversation, say, hey, just totaled out how much I've spent over the last five or six dinners. You owe me three hundred dollars. Oh God, just wanted to let you know I'm not financially in the position to pay for dinner anymore without that money.
I feel like the way I would absorb or like soften the blow is by trying to point out what an impact that was having on me is to say, I can't afford to pay for your dinner because you owe me so much money, Like I'm now financially stressed because of you, And I would hope, like, if you're friends with them, surely that would hit home right, And I.
Would hope because you actually owe no explanation for following up something that is rightfully yours, not at all.
But if that's you know, it sounds like she wants to have the conversation gently and kindly, And then if that didn't work, I personally would be cutting the cord if I'm honest. Yeah, Like, I know that might sound a bit harsh, but that it shows such a lack of respect, a lack of consideration there's just no reason to treat a friend that way.
Absolutely not.
So if they're doing it, I'd be going, well, you don't. You clearly don't respect me. Yeah, there goes your invitation to dinner, Like I'm not footing your bill, you're not invited.
Yeah, And that would really really frustrate me. It would be the natural next step. And I wonder if it's just the one person consistently paying, or if everyone in the group has to take a bit of a hit every single time they go out.
That's actually a great point. Like if you owe five different people fifty bucks running up of talent, you're running up a tab and then it's like how do you all have the conversation because if you say it in a group chat, it feels a bit like a pylon, almost like if I got you owe me money, and then beck you jump in and go you owe me money, and then all of a sudden sit like you don't just.
Need to get split wise, Yeah, you need to get split wise added all up, and then there's one sum that you need to pay to one direct person and it will make sense. I mean, you could also just invoice them formal route and be like, hey, beck, here's the invoice for the dinner that we had. Also there's a late fee, and the late fee compounds on a daily basis. It's fifty percent of the fee.
I would listen to that. I think the invoice is far more intimidating and be like, hey, but then you're the rude friend that's sent you invoice for the dinner. I would like to do it one time.
It would be funny, like in voicing something for something really petty, like yes, five dollars because I bought your fruit tingles at the supermarket because I'm obsessed with fruit tingles at the moment. Oh so good. But also we had some responses from our community, and I thought we could read some of them out because they're kind of funny and they agree with us when.
I like it.
So one person said, never lend money, you're not willing to lose, but poor form from them. A conversation needs to be had or just let her go. Someone else said, make sure you go to a place where they're split billing, which I think is smart honestly. But even with split billings, sometimes like there's that kerfuffle at exit and maybe there's like five of you and it's just too hard, and you're like, I'll pop it on my cart, Like that
is your friend doing you a service? That makes sense, Like, don't respect it because you could have just paid for it then and there, and it would have been a bill that you had to foot. Someone said, one of my sisters does this. We now just don't include her in group presence or any type of group expenses.
That's like that there goes into the invitation thing like very.
Little sister thing to do.
Yeah, oh aboute Yeah, the oldest sister.
You know what.
Kudos to Alex. She always pays me back. And I'm always surprised because I'm like, if I was a little sister, I wouldn't do that.
You don't have to.
No, I feel like that's the one rule that gets to jump over this. Someone said, it's a lack of respect and it means that it was never a real friendship in the first place. I think that's fair. Someone else said, honestly, I'd just stop inviting them and then drift apart and not tell them why that's fair nor worries. Someone said, I just sneakily get them to quote pay back by doing errands or chores for me.
Come over, become my slave exically.
But I don't think that's the way it should go now, Like no, like, oh yes, I'll behave you donate hu moow my lawn, Like it's just not gonna work.
Bartering system, babe.
So I feel like the summary of all of this is basically everyone says, stop inviting them, stop allowing situations like this where they owe you. Obviously they can't be trusted with that. A lot of you have said cut the friendship because you think it is disrespectful, but I feel like, from my perspective, there needs to be a
conversation that's had. And I think that you know you mentioned it before, Jess, you're the same as me, Like if I had to ask someone for something, I pit a potter around it and go, oh my gosh, like I don't mean to, you know, upset you, but I also need X y Z and like, I know, as financially impowered women, we probably should just be more direct. But that's what makes me feel more comfortable to have that conversation. And I think it's actually okay to have
conversations around money that just make you feel comfortable. Pat it out however, you like but at the same time, the conversation needs to be had, like if someone is disrespecting a boundary, like I think a conversation around, well, what's going on? This isn't the first time, not a you haven't paid me back please do? I think I would then take it to the next step and be like, look, I just feel like this is really disrespectful, like why
is it happening? And then maybe that scarcity mindset conversation could open up and maybe that's what's going on. But if it's consistent, yeah, I don't think i'd cut them without a conversation if they meant something to.
Me, Yeah, that's big of you.
Like some people, I've got all I've got.
It's all I've got.
I feel like that's a perfect place to leave it.
Yeah.
I was about to say the same, We've got to go. It's frayay, let's get out of here. Let's get out of here, and we will see you guys on Monday.
Fine by.
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